“Mastery of communication. How to get along with anyone by Paul McGee
Knowledge, high IQ, professionalism - all this is not enough to achieve success. You need to be able to convey your ideas to others and not be afraid of difficult conversations. In Communication Mastery, the main focus is on the mistakes we make in communicating with other people. The book contains many interesting stories on the topic and just as much food for thought.
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Subsequence
The answer to the question of how to win a woman’s heart largely depends on your actions. If you control your actions, it will definitely give a positive result. This is a preliminary plan that you must draw up for yourself. Your actions should be consistent, mistakes and absurd situations should be excluded to a minimum. Pay attention to your promises, even if they are not particularly important. For example, you promised a girl to have dinner with her at a restaurant or introduce her to your friends. No reason should allow you to change your plans. Before voicing your intentions, try to think carefully about whether you can fulfill them in the promised time. Women don't like it when a man doesn't keep his word. The girl will not have confidence that she can rely on you, and what kind of conquest of the heart can we talk about then?
"How to Overcome Shyness" by Philip Zimbardo
The author of the book is a famous American social psychologist, organizer of the famous Stanford prison experiment. In his books, instead of abstract reasoning, you will find only a scientific approach and statistics. “How to overcome shyness” is no exception. Zimbardo views shyness as an individual way of responding to emotions. And in order for you to overcome your complexes, he offers a set of specific tips and exercises.
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"How to Talk to Anyone" by Mark Rhodes
Tension during a conversation is a completely natural phenomenon. The main thing is to be able to overcome it. This is exactly what Rhodes writes about: how to cope with fears and barriers, start a conversation, gain confidence and get rid of the unreasonable fear of being rejected and driven away. A universal book about the problems of modern communication.
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Walk
Many representatives of the stronger sex are faced with the problem of where to invite a woman on the first date and how to diversify subsequent meetings. There are actually a lot of options. The most acceptable option would be to go to a restaurant or cafe. In this case, you need to understand that an expensive establishment is not suitable for starting acquaintance, since with this invitation you risk putting the girl in an awkward position (she will consider herself obligated to you for such an expensive gift). It will be enough to drink coffee and dessert in one of the cozy cafes.
Other options include visiting an amusement park, sporting event, concert of your favorite artist, theater, exhibition, excursion, skydiving, hot air balloon flight and many other exciting ideas for spending time. Your imagination and sincere desire to please your chosen one will not go unnoticed.
“We turn on the charm using the methods of the secret services,” Jack Schafer and Marvin Carlins
Former FBI agent and behavioral analyst Jack Schafer talks about how to communicate with and influence people. You will learn to recognize lies, see signals in the behavior of other people, and change their opinion about themselves. Another plus of this book: it has a part dedicated to online relationships. Today, most conversations with people take place on the Internet, and such communication also has its own characteristics.
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Treason10
This conversation is a derivative of the previous themes of love, sex and friendship. Most likely, the interlocutor will ask provocative questions. There is no need to fuss and make excuses if your opinion does not coincide with the opinion of your loved one. You can’t be categorical either. For example, at some point a person may make revelations and talk about sensitive episodes from his past. But this does not mean that the same thing awaits you as your exes.
How to Talk to Assholes by Mark Goulston
Yes, from time to time we all have to communicate not only with pleasant and friendly people, but also with completely unbearable ones. And don’t let the title of the book confuse you: we will talk about the category of people with an irrational and dishonest communication style. You cannot build a constructive dialogue with them.
Mark Goulston, a business psychiatrist, offers a whole range of techniques: 14 ways to communicate with crazy people, 8 ways to cope with madness in your personal life and, of course, recommendations for working on yourself (after all, we also sometimes lose our temper and may seem not entirely adequate ).
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Little joys of big girls
There are many more things that will please a girl or even make her happy:
- Cute trinkets. Many people think that girls are delighted with soft toys, but in fact, not everyone likes teddy bears. You just need to find out in advance what exactly the young lady likes. Some people collect dolls in historical costumes, some figurines of owls or cats, some figurines of their favorite comic book characters, but all girls love trinkets in one form or another.
- Shopping. For many, shopping becomes the best way to relieve stress. If a guy wants to give his beloved a gift, he can give her a certificate from her favorite store - this way she can please herself with unscheduled shopping, and this is already happiness.
- Sweets. Not all girls love milk chocolate. There are those who prefer dark chocolate with different fillings, even the most exotic ones; some love cakes, some fruits and nuts in chocolate, some ice cream. But a box of your favorite sweets or a trip to the candy store will definitely lift your spirits.
- Entertainment. And girls also love guys who know how to entertain them. It should be taken into account that the tastes of young ladies can be very different. Some people like movies, some like quest rooms, some like bowling, some prefer dancing until the morning, and some prefer photo exhibitions or theater. Therefore, you need to inquire about the tastes of the lady of your heart in advance. Alternatively, you can come up with some original entertainment to awaken the girl’s curiosity - this is already the key to success.
- Sport. Firstly, contrary to stereotypes, many girls love those sports that are considered masculine (for example, football or hockey) and are avid fans. Secondly, playing sports as a form of leisure is also liked by the fairer sex. Of course, fitness is not the best idea for a date. But going to the skating rink, horseback riding or table tennis can be a great option.
- Trips. Modern girls love variety. And travel is the easiest way to beat routine. Of course, many people dream of traveling to Europe or even to exotic countries, but there are not always financial opportunities for this. In this case, you can go on a short trip to a neighboring city, having first found out what interesting places there are, how things are with entertainment, etc. New impressions bring fresh notes even to the relationships of long-formed couples (it’s not without reason that such trips are recommended as a remedy for seizing life). As for those whose romance is still at the very beginning, they should remember that joint trips strengthen relationships and give shared memories.
- Nature. There are girls who love to go hiking, but there are still not many of them. Most people love nature, so to speak, in a tamed form. In this regard, it is worth learning from the Japanese, whose culture has a tradition of admiring flowers (not only luxurious sakura, but also modest poppies and bindweed). Therefore, on the weekend you can go to the park, to the botanical garden, to the seashore to admire the beautiful views. And at the same time, take a camera with you, because the fairer sex also likes to take pictures for the blog.
- Spa treatments. For girls, various self-care procedures are also a way to relieve stress and relax. Therefore, at a minimum, you should not grumble about frequent visits to the beauty salon. And if you have the opportunity to give a certificate to a spa salon, it will be a wonderful gift for any girl.
And, perhaps most importantly: if a girl has a partner who accepts and respects her life goals, if she feels understood, she will be happy.
And she will be able to make her man happy.
“I can hear right through you. Effective Negotiation Techniques”, Mark Goulston
Conversation is not so much the ability to beautifully express one’s thoughts as the ability to listen and understand the interlocutor. Believe me, people like to be listened to. This helps them feel more comfortable and confident. The main secret of communication is very simple: when you listen to the other person, he will be ready to listen to you.
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"Power of persuasion. The Art of Influencing People by James Borg
In this book you will not find NLP or tips on manipulating people. Persuasion is the ability to influence a person by addressing him directly and helping him make sense of a situation. Just reasoning and honesty, no tricks. James Borg's advice applies to both work and personal life.
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Let go of the situation
Have you ever enjoyed a job interview? Or making a call while you were selling something to another person?
I'm sure not very much. Why?
After all, it was all about getting a nice new job or making a good sale and making money. However, despite the final (= possible) result, the emotions were not too rosy.
When you go into a conversation with an outcome in mind, your brain will remain busy checking your progress, course-correcting, and planning for the future. The more you invest and the clearer your intention, the more of your energy your own “quality control” takes away.
Destructive thoughts:
“Now is the time to say what I wanted...”
“Why is she laughing? I didn't mean for it to be funny! How can I get back to normal conversation now?”
“Why doesn’t she touch herself now, doesn’t make eyes? Is she really not interested? How can I start behaving so that she will like me?”
But if we go into a conversation without a set agenda, our brains aren't focused on the outcome, relaxed, and aren't running all that analysis in the background (although let's face it: in the foreground!).
Instead of this extra work, we begin to turn our attention to something truly interesting or pleasant. And this automatically increases the chances of a conversation with a girl becoming more lively and productive.
You might be interested in: Why a Girl Doesn't Answer Messages: The Dark Truth (Opens in a new tab).
“Secrets of communication. The Magic of Words, James Borg
Another book by James Borg, which is best read in conjunction with the previous one. Communication, persuasion and influence are interconnected and interdependent things. The magic of words that Borg writes about is, of course, a metaphor. But there is also some truth in it: the words we use determine our success in relationships, work, business. It's time to learn to choose the right words.
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"The Strange Girl Who Fell in Love with a Brain" by Billy Fitzpatrick and Wendy Suzuki
Neuroscientist Wendy Suzuki once realized that she was completely dissatisfied with her life: she devoted all her time only to scientific work. But it was the knowledge of neurobiology that helped her establish communication with people, improve her physical fitness and change her way of thinking.
Her technique is based on four-minute brain workouts that help restore strength, improve mood and make thinking more intense. The body and brain are connected, and if you learn to manage this connection, you will literally be transformed - both externally and internally.
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Correct dialogue
Representatives of the stronger sex often get lost during a conversation because they don’t know what not to ask women. During a conversation, sometimes a situation occurs when a guy insults a girl’s dignity without meaning to. Therefore, you need to carefully monitor the reaction of your companion. And if you see that the woman is embarrassed, nervous, or in no hurry to answer, quickly change the subject. The list of prohibited issues includes the following statements:
- Past relationships (especially intimate ones). If a girl wants to broach this topic, she will do it herself (and this is her mistake), but under no circumstances should you encroach on such juicy details of her personal life. You can ask about a serious relationship, but very delicately.
- Questions about health and chronic diseases. This topic may be appropriate if you are already planning to start a family and give birth to healthy children (the health status of each partner is very important here). But if you are at the dating stage, the question will seem tactless, since the girl will perceive you as a man looking for a servant. Here you can replace the wording with a question about a woman’s attitude towards medical workers.
- Exact residential address. Telling a stranger about where you live is, to say the least, reckless. A girl may perceive you as a maniac or as a person encroaching on her freedom (desire to control). You can get by with talking about the area of the city, this will be enough at first.
- Questions about cosmetic surgery to improve appearance. Even if you suspect that a girl is not like this by nature, try to limit yourself to compliments about her beauty.
- Intimacy on the first date. This topic should not be raised at all, since your companion may immediately leave you without waiting for the end of the evening (arguing about this is an unpleasant and thankless task).
Questions about salary, clarification of age, weight, religion, and pointing out shortcomings will also be ridiculous and tactless.
