Useful tips: what to talk about with a girl on the first date

Give value selflessly: tell more yourself

Tell us more yourself!

By giving more, you get much more later. When giving, never want to receive anything in return. You are telling something disinterestedly.

Don't ask a girl too many questions on the first date. At least at first. You shouldn't communicate as if you were interviewing her and asking her question after question. Otherwise, it will look as if you are some kind of prosecutor or district police officer during interrogation.

Incorporate the following beliefs and perceptions

  1. Be prepared in advance to see positivity and friendliness in a person, even if you don’t know him . Learn to see only light and positive characteristics in every person. Even if a person is negative, it is your kind and positive attitude towards him that will change him.
  2. It is we who choose how we will think about a person before meeting him . Your perception of a person, expressed in words, comes true and is reflected in your conversation.

Thus, you create your own interesting reality, where the girl gets involved .

Why is it important to have conversations with a guy?

Conversations are the engine of relationships. Without speech, we would not be able to establish contact, and only through personal conversations, through pleasant communication alone with a new guy or with a loved one, can we truly get to know each other. Then joint experience will be added to the methods of rapprochement, but at first everything will be decided by conversations. It is important to understand whether you like the way your chosen one speaks and whether you like his stories. It is through conversations that you find out his views, find something in common and something that is not at all like you.

Before a conversation, it can be difficult to draw any conclusions about a person and whether you would want to communicate with him. And vice versa: a conversation can radically change the initial impression. This is how guys who don't seem attractive at first can charm you within a few minutes of conversation. And interesting-looking men turn out to be not the kind of people with whom it is pleasant and interesting to talk.

A simple conversation while walking is one of the most convenient ways to obtain information. Both verbally and nonverbally. Express emotions and feelings to a person and receive the same from him, establish contact.

Being the main form of communication, conversation has become a convenient tool for anything:

  • receiving pleasant sensations,
  • new information,
  • refuting or confirming conjectures,
  • manipulations in relationships and changing them.

For romantic relationships, this is the simplest and therefore mandatory way to develop the following qualities:

  • familiarity and intimacy
  • show interest,
  • do nicely
  • take care,
  • satisfy each other's needs.

Your adventures and interests in life

Most men are afraid to talk about what interests them, they are afraid of losing a woman. They are afraid to show their worldview and how they see this world.

If you are not locked up within four walls every day, then you always have something to talk about with people. If you live a rich, fulfilling life , then you shouldn’t have any problems with what to talk about on your first date with a girl.

If every day you have adventures and interesting events, then you are a sociable person and you always have something to tell.

Follow the instructions

This advice is especially important for those people who get very nervous when they are in the company of someone they like. In this case, it is simply necessary to start preparing for the exciting event in advance.

Of course, you shouldn’t write down the details of the meeting in great detail. As soon as the conversation goes in the wrong direction, you risk getting even more agitated than usual. Just sketch out a few topics in advance, think through the questions that interest you. Remember that the first meeting is just an introduction.

There is no need to try to penetrate a person’s soul from the first minute of dialogue. If he feels that you can be trusted, he will tell you interesting details about his personal life. But it’s still not worth talking about past relationships, sad breakups and tragic life events on the first date.

We also recommend rehearsing your prepared questions and phrases. Remember that the person does not know you at all. The wording should not be complex or ambiguous. Just imagine that you asked something completely harmless, and the person took it negatively. He will immediately close, and it’s not so easy to loosen up a new acquaintance.

To summarize - prepare a list of topics or questions that would be appropriate to talk about at the dating stage. It doesn't have to be neutral things like the weather or sports news. You can be original, but not cross the line, not violate a person’s personal boundaries.

tell me about your day

On the first date, you can always tell the girl about how your day went .

  • For example, how you wished people a good day today.
  • Tell me about the delicious soup your mother cooked for you today.
  • Tell us about what books you read, what and who they talk about.
  • If you really have nothing to say and you’re at a loss, say so: “ I don’t even know what to say.” Ask me about something ".

How to increase your chances

It's no secret that beautiful, well-groomed women enjoy the attention of the opposite sex. Therefore, if you are single and starting to think about how to attract men, urgently start increasing your self-esteem through your beautiful appearance.

Think over your image. Have a beautiful hairstyle, not too flashy makeup, give preference to stylish, but not eye-catching clothes.


Remember that a well-groomed appearance and a light, pleasant aroma will complement your image and make you irresistible.

The second important point is gait. The ability to move slowly and seductively comes with experience. Experiment, learn, choose your ideal option.

Stories of your childhood pranks and pranks

In all the years that you have lived, you have a lot of interesting events that you can share with a girl on the first date.

For example, you can talk about your childhood pranks or pranks.

For example, my parents told me that as a child I loved to walk around the apartment with a match in my teeth. I pretended that I was smoking a cigarette or something like that. It's funny to imagine. I guess I was imitating someone from my cartoon or TV series. I don't remember. Only instead of a cigarette I had a match in my teeth.

I can talk about myself for hours because I love my life. I can always immediately find the right topic for conversation with a girl.

What to talk about with a stranger

Strangers are often intimidating: you want to come up, say hello, strike up a conversation - but how? There is reason for timidity, but there are also trump cards. If a girl initiates the first conversation when meeting, she receives maximum attention from the guy.

These days, despite all the efforts of feminism and the desire for equality, it is still something amazing. For guys, the ability to meet a girl on the street is an indicator of coolness. They have an established opinion that only the most dashing and confident guys who cannot be embarrassed can do this. Girls, on the other hand, do not take this ability seriously: it may speak of courage, but it is unlikely to be considered an important trait or considered something like a developed superpower.

You will get his full attention and keep him interested no matter what you say. This is a fun game: even if the first line is something strange and out of place, the guy will answer and continue the conversation out of surprise. And most likely you will seem not like a girl who failed the acquaintance, but rather unusual or mysterious. That is, even a mistake will be beneficial - and this is incredibly convenient.

You will have to pull topics for conversation out of thin air: if the situation is unfolding in a public place, observe what the guy is doing and say something about it. If you need to meet a guy online, we suggest what is best to write - here. If there is no reason, say something about the guy himself or ask about him or anything else.

But it’s better to be on the safe side: here are a few topics for conversation with a stranger or a guy you barely know.

  • Hobbies. Questions like “What are your hobbies?”, “What do you usually do in your free time?”, “Do you have a hobby?” are suitable questions.
  • Hedonism. Usually - in terms of food. “What is your favorite dish?” “What dish would you like to try?” “What would you never eat?” “What food do you associate with childhood?” “What kind of cuisine do you like?”
  • Purchases. “Do you like shopping?” “Which stores do you usually dress in?” (here you can also praise the style), “Do you think online stores will eventually supplant regular ones?”
  • Family. Quite a personal topic, but you can approach it carefully. "Do you have any brothers or sisters?" “Do you get along with your relatives?” “Do you have family traditions that everyone respects?” “Tell me about the relative with whom you have the best relationship.”
  • Pets. "You have a pet?" “Do you like cats or dogs more?” “Have you ever wanted to have a pet? If so, which one?” “Why does your cat have this particular nickname?” “What is the most unusual pet you have ever seen?”
  • Compliment + question. “You have a great figure. Do you play sports?”, “Wow, you are very smart, you probably read a lot. What kind of books do you like?", "What a quick fix you got with that thing. Perhaps you understand engineering?”
  • Favorite books and films. It’s a blissful topic that we can talk about for a long time - after all, everyone has them.

On the street

The street is the best place to meet on a casual occasion. Questions and compliments are great topics here.

Here are two of the most working examples:

  • Young man, you have a very beautiful scarf. The color matches the eyes perfectly.
  • Young man, won’t you help me get to Krasnoznamennaya? I seem to be lost and can’t figure out how to reach her.

If you feel confident enough, you can use some pick-up artist tool: ask to smile, say that this is a fateful meeting or something like that. Remember that you will have attention and interest in any case.

It’s convenient to meet guys on the street who walk dogs. His pet is the perfect first conversation topic. Praise the dog, ask about its breed, name, age, character. If you dare, offer to take a walk together sometime. Most likely, he will not refuse.

By correspondence

Dating by correspondence is safer: you don’t see your interlocutor, and everything is not felt so acutely. Again, girls text first much less often than guys, so even “Hey, you look really cute :)” would be a great start. Men so rarely receive attention from women first that they are always sensitive to it - no matter how it is expressed.

When the conversation starts, move on to one of these topics:

  • Interests and hobbies.
  • Discussion of profile details - activities, interests, favorite music, if you communicate via correspondence on VK. If it’s on a dating site, you can ask about it without being able to look in the corresponding blocks.
  • Travel - accomplished and desired
  • Outlook on life
  • Plans
  • Job
  • Attitude to various issues
  • Entertainment
  • Plans for the weekend
  • Cinema and books

Tell her what emotions and feelings she gives birth to in you

You can always voice what you feel about her now . What emotions does it give rise to in you? What awakens and awakens in you when she is near.

The girl wants a normal, adequate man . Otherwise, if a guy is somehow secretive, hides his intentions, behaves strangely, doesn’t say something, then this is repulsive.

Don't ask what guys she's been with or what cars she drives.

Don't talk to her about guts, terrorists or anything negative.

In the right direction: what to talk about on a date

You can ask a woman 100 questions and then you definitely won’t be bored. A woman is like a machine. If you want it to go in the right direction, drive it. Start putting pressure on the pedals already on the first date. If you fail to control it, the second one may not happen.

Interest bet

The conversation is guaranteed to work out if you focus on interests. Talking about what you like or what she likes always evokes emotions. Those same emotions that, like good wine, leave a long, enveloping aftertaste. Chatting about your hobbies - cats, tattoos, photography, cooking - you will definitely end up with a sincere and lively dialogue.

In the animal world

By the way, about cats. If your interlocutor is not indifferent to animals, and you can find out this with the help of leading questions, you are incredibly lucky. You can talk about cats (fish, hamsters, pandas) for hours. And if you introduce into a conversation a heart-warming story about the untimely death of a beloved parrot, you will move her to tears. That is, you will evoke that very strong emotion that we are chasing.

Home blanks

Improvisation is a good thing, but in a pickup truck a lot is determined by patterns. Keeping a few entertaining stories in mind to fill an awkward pause is one such pattern. How to fit the story of purple elephants into a conversation about new technologies? Using the magic word “by the way.”

What? Where? When?

Traveling is where you can chat excitedly. After all, each of us has ever traveled somewhere. And I brought back impressions from there. And you can talk about these impressions for hours on end, discussing mentality, sights and simply remembering bright moments. The main thing is not to turn the dialogue into a monologue. Oratorical pressure should be measured. After all, you have gathered to get to know each other better, and not for the sake of your sparkling person.

Timeless classic

Carefully test the waters regarding her knowledge in the field of art - does she read books, watch movies, go to exhibitions: “I recently read Murakami’s Norwegian Wood. Impressed. What did you read that left an indelible mark on your soul?” If you make a girl blush, change the topic: “Nothing, you’ll remember later. Perhaps there was a film that impressed you most?” Even if not right away, but through trial and error, there will always be a common topic for art conversation.

In the spotlight

Carnegie also said that the most interesting interlocutor is the one who talks to us about us, and not about himself. So talk to her about her. What he loves, what he doesn’t love, what he dreams of, what he’s afraid of. The main thing is that the questions do not resemble interrogations. You're on a date, not an interview or investigative experiment.

Video of my approach to a pretty woman

This is an interesting video with an example of my acquaintance.

This video records an incident from my life when what to talk about on the first date with a girl or when meeting a girl for the first time is not so important to me, and I still get results.

Here I am approaching a fairly mature, attractive woman who has her own boyfriend and another child.

You will see what happened next in the video itself.

Strong seduction tricks: top 10 principles for skillfully flirting with a girl, secrets of verbal and non-verbal language, examples.

The top 5 super rules for meeting a beautiful girl, video examples of approaches and the rule of perseverance are revealed in the link here.

Open up sincerely to the girl

When you learn to open up to a girl , you will get closer very quickly.

If you speak sincerely to a girl, you will show it to the person with great love, as it is a part of you and it is projected with you.

It is when you open up that people see you as an interesting person.

When meeting

When you first meet, you should talk about the girl and yourself in order to learn at least a little about each other. You can also chat on abstract topics, for example, about the media, travel, creativity, entertainment.

It is worth asking the right questions to the girl so that the answer is not unambiguous like “yes” or “no”. The questions should be such that she can give a more detailed answer.

Examples of questions to create a dialogue if you met in a cafe, club, bar

Voice your dreams, ideas and passions

  • You can make a list of your hobbies and things that are interesting to you if you don’t know what you can talk about with a girl. My reality is based on what I want. Each of us has passions to which our soul lies.
  • Every person is a set of biases in his life . You have a collection of things that you truly love in this life, and you love them. Tell your girlfriend about them.
  • Each of us lives with some idea, a dream, voice them . Tell us about your passions, interests, what you do. The result or her recognition is not important. What you are interested in and what you talk about will always be interesting to a girl.

Get ready to improvise2

Having outlined a rough plan for the conversation, do not force yourself into a box. Without knowing a person, it is impossible to be prepared for his reaction to a particular topic. In addition, he can himself propose ideas for discussion.

If it is difficult for you to react quickly and correctly formulate your opinion, slow down. This is done very simply. The anxiety goes away when we begin to speak slowly and breathe correctly. The main thing in this matter is not to delay the pause. Awkward silence is hardly a situation in which two potential lovers will feel comfortable.

Let's say you were asked an unexpected question. There is no need to rush at him like a dog at a juicy bone. You may think that this is an absolutely adequate reaction during a conversation. Then take a few deep breaths as you consider your answer. Start expressing your thoughts step by step. Structure your speech, because in a confusion of words it can be very difficult to grasp the essence.

In general, talking a lot, interrupting your partner and dragging the blanket over yourself is the most losing style of communication. You meet an interesting person, and accordingly, you want to listen to his story. Be attentive, relaxed and moderately frank. Who knows, maybe this is your only meeting in life.

The Secret of Stories

Know that stories are never perfect. There is no need to tell it word for word . No need to remember the text. It is enough just to remember the picture before your eyes in order to describe it.

Yes, you can make your first date unforgettable, but it will never be perfect. And you don't need it to be perfect, because that's very boring.

Remember that on the first date you can always straighten out the conversation, even if at the beginning you started it not entirely confidently. These are all trifles, and the girl does not attach much importance to this.

Enticement by action

All men love to feel strong, confident and in control of any situation. Give them this opportunity.

Find a reason to ask your man for help. Rest assured, they will definitely help you. And you, in turn, do not forget to thank your savior and admire his strength, skill and dexterity.

You should not present yourself as an easily accessible woman. If you dream of a serious relationship, are looking for a worthy and loving man, also become natural and sincere.


Don’t reject men, communicate with pleasure, but don’t agree to all offers at once. Test the man you like not with words, but with actions and deeds.

Be genuinely interested in the girl

This means that you don't ask a girl questions just because you have to. This means that if a girl attracts you and you are attracted to her , you yourself recognize her on a natural level and are interested in her.

  • An interesting topic for conversation with a girl is herself . Get to know her inner world.
  • Take an interest in her to see if she fits your standards . Each person should have personal boundaries about what you accept in another person and what you don’t.
  • Find out from the girl what she likes in this life . Because you're wondering why she's with me and why I chose her. I want to know more about her world inside.

Don't be only interested in her body , be genuinely interested in her. Keep these tips in mind for your first date with a girl. Then you will be interesting to her. You will be different from most men. Who else is really interested in a woman if not you?

Is it necessary to seduce men?

Agree, there is still an opinion in society that only a man should take the initiative. A woman’s lot is to sit and wait for the young man she likes to pay attention to her and take some steps towards her.


On the one hand, there is nothing wrong with this, but on the other hand, you risk not getting anything. The most beautiful romance of your life may never begin.

In this case, psychologists are unanimous: flirting and unobtrusively attracting a man is an exquisite, pleasant “game” for two. Many men secretly dream of being “hunted” too.

My video about how a man and a woman attract

Here I reveal the truth of what really attracts a man and a woman to each other.

Why are words not really important? Watch this video to understand what to talk about with a woman on the first date.

How to spend a first date with a girl, how to behave competently, why flowers are not needed and how not to become her sponsor.

Full description: why it is useless to try to please a girl, how to find out that she likes you.

How to communicate with a girl and what words to say, the essence of attraction - we get rid of problems forever.

Popular mistakes of men

  1. Don't try to find false interests in order to please a girl . This is the main mistake men make on a first date. For example, a girl loves cats, but a man does not. But in order to please her, he agrees with her and says that he also loves cats. But a woman sees and feels everything. So, the man adjusts his worldview to her and becomes inferior to the woman. This is where her attraction to you disappears .
  2. Don't take her interests or conversation style for yourself ! To find a common interest, you don’t have to adjust and neglect your life’s boundaries.

Don't have a need for it - it's repulsive

If you have personal boundaries and personal standards, then when communicating with you, if you don’t like something, show and voice that you do not accept it .

You're not going to hang out with her just because she's pretty and has a nice ass. Don't look at the fact that she is beautiful, find out who she really is.

You don't need her appearance, but are interested in her inner world . You can leave if you don't like her inner world. Remember these first date rules.

Main mistakes

There are common mistakes that guys make when communicating with girls:

  1. Choose an uninteresting/wrong topic to talk about. Let's say a guy loves football, and all his conversations are about it. Although this topic is most likely not interesting to the girl.
  2. At the very beginning of dating, many questions of an intimate nature are asked. For example, how many guys has the girl talked to or dated before?
  3. Allow long and inappropriate pauses during communication.
  4. They only talk about themselves. You need to give the girl a chance and time so that she can talk about herself.
  5. Excessively and constantly boast about their achievements and successes in school, work, sports, etc.
  6. Choose negative topics for conversation.
  7. They are limited only by words. But it’s worth visualizing the dialogue. If you are talking about music, discussing songs, you can invite her to listen to a new interesting track that she has not heard yet. Afterwards, discuss it and share your impressions of what you heard.
  8. They constantly discuss the same topic. You need to change topics of conversation so that the girl does not lose the desire to communicate with you.
  9. They turn the conversation into an interrogation with a bunch of questions.
  10. They do not know how to complete a dialogue correctly. To meet or write with her again, be able to end the dialogue correctly and at the right moment in an interesting place. Then she will have a desire next time to discuss with you what you did not agree on.

Best topics to talk about

An exciting first meeting can unsettle you and make you forget about everything in the world. Use these "safe" topics to avoid silence:

  • latest events and news;
  • books and films;
  • music;
  • hobby;
  • sport;
  • animals.

If your date is in a restaurant, talk about taste preferences. Mention your goals and aspirations, plans for the future. It will be useful to remember funny life stories and anecdotes. Talk about travel and places you dream of visiting.

Rules for a successful first date

  1. Appearance . You should look beautiful and natural, do not choose flashy outfits with large necklines and short skirt lengths. Conceal minor facial imperfections, do not overdo it with rich makeup.
  2. Don't drink alcohol . The only exception may be a glass of wine. But at the same time, you need to understand how your body reacts to alcohol. A glass of wine is enough for one girl to get drunk and start talking nonsense. On the other hand, on the contrary, a small amount of alcohol helps you relax and begin to behave more confidently during a conversation.
  3. Don't use swear words . It will be very ugly if a sweet, well-groomed girl uses foul language. You are not a shoemaker! Be modest and laugh with restraint. Good manners and modesty are always appreciated by the opposite sex.
  4. Ask open-ended questions . A man will immediately understand that you are interested in him and will give detailed answers. And they will show you the true picture and help you decide whether this guy is right for you or not.
  5. Conversation on neutral topics . Do not touch on “sensitive” topics, take a keen interest in the man’s hobbies and life. Try to find common interests, tell us about your hobby. Do not interrupt the gentleman, do not allow him to remain silent for a long time, asking leading questions.

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