Is this dominance in psychology and management? Is submission in psychology and negotiations? Definitions. Causes. Examples of negotiations.
Hello, dear negotiators!
Often in our lives situations arise when we are faced with either dominance or subordination of people.
Ranked confrontations sometimes arise automatically even in harmless everyday situations. And it will be great if we can make an accurate diagnosis of the situation in a short time in order to promptly choose ways to resolve difficulties in communication and not drive the situation into a dead end. Therefore, let's look at the basic things in negotiations and answer the question: “What is dominance and submission in communications between people?”
Block 1. Dominance. Definition.
Domination is a complex of interactive technologies in the form of an order, direction, assignment, instruction, reflecting a person’s intention to subjugate an opponent to his will.
The use of dominance techniques can be considered as a suitable tool in negotiations in order to test the possibility of moving the position of the opposite party. Domination is effective if the opponent manifests himself as a weak personality or assesses the current situation as a threat of losing a particularly valuable target resource, and therefore chooses to temporarily give up “freedom of choice.” A professional negotiator knows how to use dominance technologies and at the same time be a non-dominant person.
Origins of Dominance
In today's life we often hear: “he dominates at work...”, “she dominates in the family” and so on. But not everyone understands what it means to dominate.
To better understand this concept, let’s reveal the meaning of the word itself.
Translated from Latin, to dominate is to control someone or something . The Russian word “dominate” reveals how to dominate, prevail, be basic, rise.
Thanks to this word, we can understand what is important in any situation, phenomenon or process. In our social circle, we often encounter people who strive for dominance. Let's look at what dominance essentially is.
Initially, everyone strived for dominance, for this reason we went through the process of evolution and quickly outstripped the animal world in formation. This path can be considered the primary manifestation of dominance. Everything that many take for progress, evolution, growth can also be taken for dominance.
Block 2. Dominance. Characteristic.
A dominant person in the eyes of other people is an independent, aggressive, stubborn, rigid, assertive, authoritarian, strong-willed, strong-willed, with high self-esteem, persistent, independent, willful, stubborn, persistent, inflexible, stubborn, unshakable, wayward, unyielding, uncompromising , intractable, stubborn, rough, unyielding, etc.
If the negotiator has determined the opposite side to be dominant, then sometimes it is useful to give in or simply leave the “ STAGE ”, following the principle “why hit the wall.”
There are a wide variety of verbal and non-verbal techniques used in dominance. Verbal markers are orders, coercion, suggestions, threats, ultimatums . Some of the most common words when addressing the opposite side are: must, must, should, must, necessary, required, etc.
With actual dominance, the subject views the other individual as an impersonal resource of help, i.e. as an object.
A true Dominant is not interested in examining in his opponent the traits of another person who has his own inner world, his own values, desires, expectations, ideas, etc.
A true Dominant is not interested in seeing in front of him a subject who is involved in other interpersonal interactions, that he has certain social roles, that this person can be a parent, a child, a musician, an athlete, etc.
A true Dominant is not interested in the human component in the subject. The opponent is interesting from a purely utilitarian standpoint.
The suppressed have resources in the form of differentiated potentials : strength, intelligence, abilities, knowledge, experience, skills, etc. A specific applied aspect is the object of potential exploitation by the dominant. In addition, the suppressed one in the role of “ GUARDIAN ” is able to provide access to target resources to the dominant.
When interacting, the dominant relies on help resources: higher social status, situations of corporate subordination, physical strength, high self-esteem, loud voice, tall height, age, presence of status items, weapons, etc.
The dominant is surrounded by a halo of his “greatness”. Accordingly, all the accompanying tinsel is most often created by the dominant himself and is reinforced by his “retinue,” while “the balloon is inflated by popular gossip.” It often turns out that “the king has no clothes”!
Dominance implies imperative influence. It manifests itself both during a forceful seizure and during negotiations. Dominance presupposes a top-down type of interaction. The dominant does not offer cooperation, but imposes the terms of interaction.
How does dominance inversion begin in a relationship?
Psychologists rightly believe that almost all women form feelings for guys based on childhood feelings about their father. A tyrant daddy raises often frightened girls who hate all men. The daughter of an authoritative person already initially perceives her future husband as the breadwinner and head of the social unit.
A soft-bodied and drunken slob also evokes disrespect among his daughters, an indispensable desire to crush him under themselves and impose their own will. The most unpredictable are girls who grew up without a father. Initially, they do not understand at all how it is possible to feel real support in a loved one.
Signs of dominance in a relationship
- A woman tries to elevate her own role in everything, hiding her personal shortcomings. She endlessly points out her achievements, but without noticing her partner's victories.
- Even in everyday situations, the wife tries to prick or humiliate her husband with offensive remarks and show disrespect. If you drop the remote control, for example, they will immediately call you a handyman.
- A woman constantly pokes you with reminders about marital (material, housework, raising children) responsibilities.
- Ignoring the opinion of the spouse.
- Endless comparisons with more successful men.
- Suppression of initiative.
- An arrogant tone when communicating, showing indifference to your problems.
- If in her conversations with you the words “cretin”, “freak”, “fool” or “moron” began to slip through, then the inversion of dominance has already occurred.
Block 3. Dominance. Example of negotiations.
Let's look at examples of how to respond to ultimatums from a dominant person!
Dominator:
“You either do as we say or you won’t get anything at all.”
Negotiator:
– Grigory, you don’t leave me a choice and drive me into a corner with threats, is this the best solution to drive a person to despair, and if he breaks down and there is nothing good in that, but there are other ways to resolve issues besides an ultimatum, let’s move on to them.
Dominator.
– If something doesn’t suit you, you can always refuse, but there won’t be any more money!
Negotiator.
– Grigory, you can do what you are talking about at any time, this is the simplest way, and the simplest does not mean the smartest, there is a smart way and this is a more complex way to solve emerging issues. Let's talk about it!
Dominator.
– Do you remember, yes, that our doors are open, if something doesn’t suit you, then you know what needs to be done!
Negotiator.
– Grigory, you are a professional in your field and have probably already encountered situations where getting rid of something leads not to an improvement, but to a worsening of the situation in the future, so is it necessary to open doors and at the same time lose benefits, I think not, let’s decide questions are productive!
A man is strength + protection
The relationship between a man and a woman is the fulfillment of certain responsibilities.
It has long been the case that a man is the breadwinner, while a woman is the keeper of the family hearth. Everything rests on the breadwinner, and it is the man who leads the whole family. And a woman wants to see a strong and brave man next to her. That is why a man must have a strong core in order to lead a woman. Now the question is, does a woman have the opportunity to protect and support her family? As practice and statistics show, a woman can provide for her family, but not always protect her. The sphere of finance and everyday life - she may be able to do it, but with regards to others - no. A woman who has taken on the role of a man will very quickly get tired and begin to feel discomfort, because such a lifestyle is not entirely familiar to the fairer sex. The same applies to a man, he will worry about not solving certain issues, and accordingly he will not feel confident. Only the stronger sex is able to protect their family from various threats. Men by nature have an iron calm. That is why in critical situations they are not overcome by panic, they act on the basis of informed decisions. All the pros and cons are weighed and only after that actions are taken. It is men who tend to think with their heads and not with their hearts, so decisions are more “sober”. Women have their head in the clouds and live in a world of emotions. In certain situations, their minds become confused by a surge of emotions, and therefore they take incorrect actions.
This does not mean at all that women are dumber than men, not at all, it’s just that our brains work differently, hence the consequences. From childhood, men are taught to take responsibility for their actions, and this is a normal practice for every member of the stronger sex.
Block 4. Submission. Definition.
Submission is a set of interactive technologies that reflect a person’s readiness to carry out orders, instructions, assignments, and instructions from another person.
The demonstration of submission techniques does not clearly indicate that submission will actually be performed. Techniques are markers indicating submission, not characteristics of submission. At the same time, these markers are often correct for predicting a future situation in which the corresponding behavior scenarios of the type of submission will unfold.
Gene dominance
This concept is also actively used in genetics. Some genes in a living organism can also dominate. What does it mean? One gene contains alleles that determine the development options for a particular trait. If the allele is dominant, then this trait will develop. If the allele is recessive, then it will be suppressed by the dominant one and will practically not manifest itself at all, although it will be in the gene. To make it easier to understand, let's give an example.
The child's father has black hair, the mother is blonde. The gene will contain information about two hair colors. But if the dominant allele is black, then the child will be born with this hair color. It may even be possible to have a light-colored baby and then turn his hair dark.
Patterns of distribution of dominant alleles can be seen in the shape of the ears, eye color, shape of the nail plate, the development of hereditary diseases, and so on. The same rules for the distribution of alleles can be observed in the animal world, for example, when kittens are born from cats of different colors.
Block 5. Submission. Reasons for choice?
In subordination, the subject makes an addition from below. For a professional negotiator, it is very important to be able to use markers of subordination in order to exert appropriate influence on the opposite side.
The techniques demonstrated can be tactical steps to win a battle or implement a strategy.
When choosing submission, the subject is in a state opposite to dominance. With true submission, the priority target resource that determines behavior is the desire to be in a comfort zone , in a zone where there is no struggle, tension, conflict situations, confrontation and/or the subject dreams of getting rid of a “stressful situation.” This leads to the abandonment of a set of subjectively significant valuable target results due to concessions to the opposite side.
When subjugated, the subject realizes that he does not have access to important results, and this can be “psychologically traumatizing” and cause a state of distress and depression.
Submission is not always a manifestation of a person’s psychological weakness, although it indicates it. Various complex situations are possible when a rational choice of submission is made. For example, a subordinate at work who values his place is forced to endure the dominance of his manager. The subordinate has a fear that if he stops behaving “appropriately,” he will lose his job. Submission often takes place in family relationships between a dominant husband and a subordinate wife, and between a dominant father and a subordinate son.
In society, situations periodically arise that predispose to subordinate behavior, in which people accidentally find themselves. A person makes a conscious choice, despite the fact that under normal conditions it is not typical for him to obey. For example, a conflict on the road, when the dominant behaves aggressively and brandishes a weapon. Obviously, submission in a given situation, as the primary reaction, becomes the natural choice of many people.
Submission is characterized by the following manifestations: gentleness, pliability, helpfulness, request, deference, timidity, tendency to take responsibility and blame upon oneself, courtesy, tact, modesty, submission, humility, obedience, obedience, subordination.
The subordinate does not always realize his dependence on the dominant person. Psychological defense mechanisms are triggered and the “factual material” is repressed into the unconscious. The subordinate is able to explain to himself, give arguments that from his point of view look rational and at the same time shifts the emphasis from the factor of dependence on the dominant to the factor of dependence on the circumstances. The following speech patterns are widespread: “give in to a fool”, “whoever is smarter will give in first”, “submit to one, give in to another”, “if you involuntarily give in, you’ll get stepped on”, “a pound must yield”.
How to become dominant in a relationship?
Having noticed such signs and assessed the threats, you can base your actions on the following scenarios:
- Accept your betrothed as the head of the family if you are completely satisfied with the role of henpecked
