Few modern people have the skill of addressing another person with pleasant, gallant and graceful courtesies, and even fewer people have the art of how to respond to a compliment other than a meaningful “thank you.”
Praise: “How deftly and efficiently you completed this most difficult task!”, “How dazzlingly beautiful you are today!”, can not only improve your mood, but also inspire you to further achievements and transformations.
However, instead of being proud of ourselves and melting with delight, we become confused and babble embarrassedly: “Thank you.” This article will discuss why kind words addressed to us make us feel embarrassed and timid, how we can pleasantly surprise our interlocutor, and how to respond to a compliment.
Types of compliments
Depending on the content, subtext and situation, compliments are divided into several types:
- Open, sincere
This is a real gift for a girl. For example, the words “You are beautiful” said or written in a casual message can be considered sincere praise.
- Hidden
The person really wants to say something nice, but is embarrassed. The phrase comes out with a hint. “The hair suits you.”
- Duty
“You’re doing great! You look great as always!” such words are not sincere and are spoken out of politeness.
- Business
This is praise from a boss to a subordinate in a dry, businesslike form. But such words are needed to raise the working spirit and enthusiasm.
- Sexual
It is pronounced in a playful mood only to the woman you love.
You need to decide how to respond to a compliment, taking into account the type of praise and the recipient of the pleasant words.
The most popular response to praise is a modest “Thank you!” But most men are not happy with this answer. They make an effort, come up with nice words, but get nothing in return. Women should think about how to respond to a compliment in a beautiful, original way so that they can hear them every day.
Boasting about appearance
Not all guys are imaginative. Sometimes they give ordinary compliments. For example: “You are beautiful!”, “You are pretty!”, “You have a great figure!”
In such cases, women can simply thank, or they can answer the young man in an original way, if circumstances allow it.
- Thanks for the compliment. The main thing is that it is unexpected!
- You notice everything so subtly! What would I do without you?
- The parents did their best. We raised such a beautiful and smart girl!
- Without you, I would not have guessed about attractiveness!
- Yes, the world can be calm! My beauty will save him.
- You have no idea what's hiding inside. My appearance is nothing compared to my inner world.
- Thank you! You improved my mood. The main thing is that it is not flattery, sir!
- Original words! Few people would think to say this.
I recommend you watch: How to interest a guy by correspondence, psychology and advice
The lady can respond to praise in English. It’s better to use the usual word “thank you” to translate “thank you.” The French equivalent would also work: “Mercy!” or in German: “Danke!”
But you shouldn’t speak too long phrases in a foreign language, because not every man is a polyglot. May not know many expressions and will feel uncomfortable.
How to respond to a compliment
You need to respond to praise with a smile; you can look into a man’s eyes with a little irony. Under no circumstances should you ignore a compliment so as not to offend the guy. And if you want to flirt a little with a man, then add a few pleasant words in response.
About appearance
Take into account the following phrases:
- Beauty is not my merit, but a gift that my parents gave me. I will definitely convey your gratitude to them.
- Very original, no one has ever said such nice words to me.
- Thank you, my mood has skyrocketed.
- Yeah, I'll go save the world.
- Now fear me. Beauty is a terrible power!
- Oh, you really flatter me!
Original
There is nothing more banal than a dry “Thank you.” The original expression of attention must be responded to in the same coin.
If a guy appreciates his legs and figure, switch him to other parts of the body.
- My hairstyle is okay!
- And the nails, look how wonderful they are!
- And my cool eyelashes? Forgot, didn't notice?
If you don't like a guy, you can confront him with dignity and originality.
- Without you I know that the Goddess!
- I heard Tanyusha say the same thing yesterday!
If you want to continue, flirt, ask for pleasant words.
- And this is all I deserve?!
- Yes, your future wife will definitely be lucky!
- Why did they remain silent? Speak, speak!
With humor
If you feel that the guy is clearly flattering or negative, defuse the situation with laughter or a joke.
1. Parry his praise.
- Oh, I don’t even know how it all works out so wonderfully for me. I guess I'm a sorceress!
- No, you're the handsome one, I can't keep up with you. But I'm trying really hard.
2. Praise back in a sincere but funny way.
- I take you as an example!
- Very valuable note, thank you!
- I love and appreciate myself too!
3. Add a few more pluses to his statement yourself.
- Yes, I am like that, you don’t know me yet!
- I'm shocked myself!
When it comes to flirting
It happens that a young man flirts and tries to please a woman. If a lady agrees to support his game, then she can respond to praise playfully, showing that she is not against such a relationship, or even a light romance.
Sample answers:
- Thank you! It’s just not known who will get such sunshine!
- Yes, I'm beautiful! There is no place to put a sample.
- You are stingy with beautiful words! Is this all I deserve?
- You say that... I feel like I'm at the Miss Universe pageant.
- I'm surprised at myself! Someone will be lucky!
Flirting often means that a man likes a woman and doesn’t mind having an affair with her. In this case, the young man gives compliments, can begin to look after him beautifully, give flowers and other gifts, and sends SMS messages with praise and admiration. If the lady responds to his advances, then the relationship may continue.
Correspondence
Communication on dating sites and Instagram requires a girl to know how to respond to a compliment to a man by correspondence. It is on the Internet that women receive a huge number of comments under VKontakte photos and sweet messages from fans. It is advisable to take phrase templates as an example and use them, adding something of your own and being creative.
Sample answers
To the photo:
- It's a really great photo, but it's not perfect yet.
- Besides my pretty face, I have a lot of talents.
- Otherwise, I can’t do that yet!
- If you're in love, write to me and I'll think about whether to answer.
- Thank God, at least someone appreciated it!
- This is me without makeup yet.
In SMS:
- My deepest gratitude to you.
- I try to be perfect in everything.
- I'm still that little angel.
- You underestimated me, maybe try again.
- I think so too.
I’m glad that there are people who notice the beauty around them. Comments under photos on Odnoklassniki, VK, Instagram are a public action. It is worth a lot, a person has overcome his doubts, fears, and awkwardness. Even if you don’t like the boy, you don’t need to humiliate him or write nasty things, as they teach on the forums.
Why we don’t shine with happiness: reasons for dissatisfaction with compliments
Some of us not only cannot appreciate kindness according to its merits, but also simply get annoyed when we hear praise addressed to us. This most often happens when:
- we sincerely believe that we do not deserve such a positive assessment;
- We believe that what has been said is clearly not true;
- we harbor and cherish ideas of personal guilt, worthlessness and uselessness;
- we are sure that speaking out is a way to put pressure on us and a reason for manipulation;
- We worry that courtesy to something global obliges us, and we owe the person something;
- we treat another person with extreme indifference, and we are not interested in his opinion;
- We are afraid when we are singled out from the crowd and we find ourselves in the center of attention.
Women's mistakes
Unfortunately, not all women know how to accept praise; they don’t know how to respond correctly to a man’s great compliment. And they make a lot of mistakes, which greatly offend their fans.
Here are some examples of the most common incorrect phrases, and try to exclude them from your conversations with the opposite sex:
- Excuses
Error: I went to the hairdresser yesterday, and usually my hair hangs like tow! Correct: Thank you, but I always look like this, I still have many advantages.
- Objections
Error: No, I am not worthy of your words, you are very mistaken Correct: Thank you, I am very pleased to hear this!
- Neglect
Error: What next? Is there nothing else to talk about? Correct: I am very flattered by your words, let's continue tomorrow!
- Ignore
Error: Silence in response, the woman pretends that nothing is happening. That's right: It's harmful to overpraise me, but I wouldn't mind a couple more such pleasant words.
- Overreaction.
Error: Oh, really!! You honestly liked my legs!! How amazing! I'm very happy! That's right: Thank you, you're fine too!
On a note! The phrase “I’ll take it as a compliment” in response to praise cannot be used even as a joke. The man gets the impression that the girl considers him a liar.
Erroneous reactions
Before we talk about how to properly respond to praise, it is necessary to understand the characteristics of our negative reactions. Some girls blush from embarrassment, others try to turn invisible. One way or another, you can react to compliments in different ways, but I want to protect you from the most common mistakes:
Objection
Many girls, having heard praise addressed to them, immediately begin to argue with her: “There is nothing special about this!” or “It just happened that way!” Behind this is the desire to belittle oneself and one’s merits, which, at a minimum, looks rather strange and causes awkwardness for the one giving the compliment.
Justification
The girl instantly has a desire to justify herself for something good. Often she begins to tell no one needed details about why some of her features are admired. For example: “Oh, I bought this dress at a second-hand store for mere pennies.”
Ignoring
Some women prefer not to respond to a man’s compliment at all, pretending as if nothing happened. But in fact, it makes sense to do this only when the person is deeply unpleasant to you, and you don’t want to talk to him at all. Otherwise, the absence of a reaction hurts even more than its presence in any form.
Neglect
Agree, it is very unpleasant when you praise a person, but he makes a brick face and shows indifference with his entire appearance. There is a feeling that you have given something away, but no one needs it, and disappointment and resentment become a natural result.
Excessive enthusiasm
This is another extreme that should be avoided. There is a category of girls who, having heard a few flattering words addressed to them, are ready to do everything for the sake of the person speaking them. But it's not right! Normally, if someone compliments you, they just want to make you happy and don't want anything else from you. And if you lose your head and start to “float”, then you become very vulnerable and accessible to manipulation.
How to respond to a friend's compliment
Women often compliment each other to lift their spirits and express friendly feelings. Let’s look at how to beautifully respond to a compliment to your best friend or acquaintance.
Girls don't feel embarrassed or blush when they receive praise from another woman. This is fine. But in response, a friend always expects warm words, a sweet smile or a hug. You can parry with these cute phrases:
- That's how it is! Love you!
- I take you as an example!
- A hundred kisses on your cheeks! Smack!
- What would I do without you, my joy!
- And you are a thousand times better, our beauty.
On a note! Accompany your compliments to your loved ones with sweet words: Sunshine, Beauty. This way, your loved one or girlfriend will sincerely feel your warm affection.
Dubious Praise
Sometimes kind words can be sarcastic, aimed at worsening the mood. Sarcasm can often be heard from envious colleagues or acquaintances. For example, your boss praised you or you were promoted at work.
In this case, other employees may be sincerely happy, or they may sarcastically: “Congratulations! Lucky you! Is luck a middle name? In such and similar situations, you should not answer young people ironically.
We can say the following:
- Thank you! Only my promotion is the result of constant and hard work.
- Thank you But I didn't get the promotion because of luck. I work a lot, even at home at night.
It happens that a person really wants to give a compliment, but due to indecision, praise is more like babbling. The girl should answer as if she is sure that the guy wants to say something nice and offer to just talk.
If a rude and vulgar review was made by a random passerby, then you don’t need to pay attention to it. It is better to calmly pass by, showing that you are indifferent to dubious words.
Self-esteem
Low self-esteem instills a feeling of guilt, a feeling as if the recipient of a compliment is deceiving others. An inflated opinion of oneself gives rise to the impression that this is the least of what one could admire, or even resentment. If such emotions are present, it is worthwhile to adjust your self-esteem.
A person has the right to rejoice when others like him or his actions. If a compliment is made from the heart, all that remains is to accept it with the same sincerity, and there is nothing reprehensible in that.
If people emphasize those aspects that are important in the interlocutor, this is an additional reason for him to see himself in a positive light, as well as to be inspired to improve himself.
From the point of view of psychology, there is a principle of “mirroring”: a person who does not allow good assessments towards himself is unlikely to be inclined to express them to other people. Therefore, accepting admiration is a certain indicator of the ability to give it to others.
The lack of reaction to the comments made leaves a much more unpleasant impression than any reaction.
Answers for flirting
If the praiser is focused on achieving a new level of relationship, this is a different matter. The answer should depend on the girl's desires. A discreet, laconic thank you is fine if you are not in the mood for flirting.
If you want to be liked, respond positively, but carefully, without being intrusive.
Suitable answers:
- “Thank you, it’s a pleasure. Are you always generous with compliments?”;
- “I’m glad to meet your ideas of beauty.”
- “Do you think beauty will save the world?”
The Science of Acceptance
It seems that what could be simpler: accept gratitude or a compliment from a boss, colleague, acquaintance or friend. It’s not like launching a satellite into space. But many people do not know how to do this, downplaying the meaning of the words spoken or even denying praise: “what are you saying, I fulfilled the plan because I was lucky with a large customer.”
Someone thus “balances” praise with self-criticism, someone asks for additional compliments, someone wants to look better (“yes, the report is good, but to be honest, I did it in 5 minutes on my knee”). And in most cases we are simply afraid of seeming vain.
Yes, public opinion encourages modesty, but by belittling your merits, you devalue everything that was just said to you. And you show that you have low self-esteem, you are not confident in the results of your work, you do not take seriously or consider the opinion of the person who made the compliment insincere. But a man who accepts compliments with dignity looks more confident and courageous. In addition, if you often brush off praise, you will soon stop receiving it altogether. Therefore, away from ostentatious modesty, aim for the golden mean in accepting compliments.
Where do incorrect reactions come from?
The reasons for incorrect reactions lie deep within. Perhaps the cause was long-forgotten traumas of the past, and there is no point in projecting painful feelings onto new acquaintances who appear in life.
If a person is absolutely unable to accept compliments addressed to him, he should think about it and look for the reasons in himself. If there is a belief that a person cannot be admired, the prerequisites may be rooted in childhood, when the attitude towards oneself was formed with the help of parents.
The desire to protect yourself from manipulation can inspire suspicion towards every person who utters kind words. But this is wrong: such an attitude that the world is full of evil is destructive in itself, no matter what happens.
The belief that there are no free and useful things is wrong. If someone's words make you feel obligated, this may indicate that many things in life are equivalent to material value: more space should be allowed for spiritual manifestations. There are also things that cannot be paid for.
A woman should also give compliments to other people more often, and then they will come into her life even more.
What to do
Accepting a compliment does not turn you into an arrogant and arrogant snob (“Oh, horror, he accepted the gratitude and did not deny his contribution to the work”). Therefore, smile and sincerely thank your interlocutor, looking into his eyes. Do not invent complex verbal structures, say a simple “thank you” or even “thank you!!!”. If you want, you can continue: “it’s nice to hear this from you,” “I tried,” “your opinion is really important to me.”
When a compliment is about teamwork, be sure to acknowledge your colleagues' contributions. This should be an addition to gratitude, not a negation. That’s right: “thank you, we all did a great job this month”; wrong: “Thank you, of course, but I almost didn’t participate in this” or vice versa: “Yes, I had to drag the whole team along with me.”
If you are presented with a “best employee of the month” certificate, a cup for winning the corporate table football championship, or another award, accept it with your left hand. The right one remains free to shake hands with the award recipient and everyone who wants to congratulate you.
Do not forget about formalities even during feasts. If they make a toast in your honor (congratulations!), do not drink with everyone else (otherwise it turns out that you are congratulating yourself), but thank them, give everyone the opportunity to drink and take the word in return.