The opposite of the dominant is called. What are dominants afraid of?

What are Dominants afraid of?

I myself have faced most of these fears in one way or another. As, I think, any knowledgeable and respected House. And, of course, my long list is not exhaustive. Without the ability to work with them, these fears can paralyze the House, or even worse. I think it’s very difficult for newbie Dommes, floundering in the flow of information from those who want to become their subs, to cope with fears. Even in an established relationship, with an experienced Dominant, they raise their head from time to time.

So if you're a submissive hoping to make your good, open-minded, somewhat dominant but still vanilla partner a "real Dom" - get ready. He will have to face many fears. And if not, then he is a stupid and, possibly, dangerous nonentity, run away from him quickly. If you need a Home, help him find the strength to be a Home. This may not be exactly what you saw in your fantasies: this is what you will need to do. If your partner shows no signs of dominance or sexual liberation at all, this is a serious problem. But while there are chances, don’t give up just because he lacks experience or courage.

Most of the happy BDSM unions I know grew out of vanilla couples who jointly discovered the Theme. Not all, but many.

Of course, if you don’t have a permanent partner, a serious relationship, that’s a completely different story...

The greatest fear of any Dominant worth his salt is the danger of causing irreparable physical or mental harm to his sub. Of course. But there are many other concerns, such as these (stated in no particular order and, of course, overlap in many ways):

Am I hurting her feelings?
Will she think I'm a scoundrel?
Am I going too far?
What if I like this too much?
Will I be accused of violence?
Is she really good? How do I know?
If she changes her mind and decides she doesn't need it, what should I do?
Will she be afraid to tell me she's changed her mind?
What if she doesn't know what she wants? How can I tell if she knows or not?
What if I think she might change her mind later, but she insists she won't change her mind under any circumstances? Can her consent be relied upon?
What if I can't handle it? Will I cause harm? Will I damage my reputation? Will I disgrace myself?
What if some unintentional mistake on my part turns her away from BDSM forever?
What if she loses interest without any fault on my part?
Does she really like all this? Is she doing this just for my pleasure?
She's not in the mood. What happens if I push? What if, on the contrary, I don’t? If I have to wait for her mood, how long should I wait?
What if she's just pretending to be in a mood? What if it goes away and she continues to portray it?
Suppose I put pressure on her... then: (see many questions above) - ?
How can I fulfill her fantasies? How do I know what they are? How can I, the real one, compete with what is imagined?
She wants me to want what she wants, but I don't want it. Should I pretend? What if she realizes that I'm just acting?
Am I sure that I’m really doing what I want, and not just serving as a tool for making her fantasies come true?
Is she really doing what she wants, or is this just a game on me?
If I allow her too much, will I not be Dominant enough? If I allow her too little, will she rebel, not now, but later? Will I commit violence against her?
If she is disobedient and misbehaves and I let it go, doesn't that defeat the whole purpose of a D/s relationship? And if we don’t forgive her, won’t our relationship turn into a constant struggle?
Does she really mean what she says or is she testing me? Does she herself know the answer to this question?
What if she thinks she knows what she wants and I think I know better? If I proceed from what I know best, won't that be disrespect for her?
If I let her teach me, won't D/s be lost?
If we disagree on an issue, can I use my status as a Top to “win”? If not, am I a Dominant? If so, is it fair?
What if it turns out that we want different things? — (see above about “win by status”) — ?
Suppose I insisted on my own, sincerely believing that I was right. What if it turns out later that I was wrong? Will she stop trusting me? Will she become less submissive? Will I have the moral right to insist on my own next time?
Will power spoil me? Haven't you ruined it already?

After the fact.

When this post was first published, I received a number of responses pointing out aspects I had missed. The most memorable was the discussion about the "Dark Side", which turned out to be more significant than I thought. What happens if you release the monster within you? And if the monster is contained, will we not be judged for our fantasies alone?

Here is an excerpt from one conversation: - Now I question everything and everyone. Broken trust is difficult to restore, even with yourself. “I think that it is in BDSM that we can sometimes achieve a level of absolute trust that is impossible anywhere else.

Dominants are foci of excitation that dominate others at a given period of time. They are located in The principle of dominance was studied and formulated by the scientist A.A. Ukhtomsky. But this concept has long gone beyond the science of physiology. It is used in psychology, culture and even sexology.

Lady "Femdom"

Lady “Femdom” likes to command, and does it in a rather rude manner. For such a woman, sadism, although mild, is the norm. She wants to take possession of her partner, both mentally and physically. The more such a woman humiliates, the more pleasure she herself will receive. Moreover, it's not just about sex.

Terminology

Femdom is an abbreviation for female domination, which is translated from English as “female domination.” It can be of several types:

When a man does everything for a woman according to her decree. At first glance, he seems like a sincere gentleman: he lets you go ahead, holds the door, and quickly gets up if a lady enters the room.
When a man becomes a slave. He unquestioningly carries out all women's decrees. This is striking from the outside.
Sex life. The couple adds variety to intimacy by introducing femdom. A woman has the opportunity to change places with a man and gain complete power over him for the night.

The last scenario is most common.

Madam image

A lady is determined not only by her behavior, but also by her appearance. The image must include appropriate items and accessories. Most often, dominants choose black or red.

In BDSM

Men are especially excited by the image of a strict teacher who is capable of harsh punishment. Here you can’t do without a classic blouse, pencil skirt, stockings and heels. Moreover, the higher and thinner the studs, the better. In BDSM practice, heels serve as an accessory. A woman can step on a man with them.

Often the mistress appears in a latex suit, tight dress or erotic lingerie. There will be an accessory in your hands: a whip, a flogger or handcuffs.

In lesbian games

In lesbian games, the situation does not change. The lady also looks powerful, and accessories are a must. In lesbian games, strap-ons are actively used. The partner must obey and carry out all orders.

In sexual pleasures

In established couples, it is customary to discuss femdom in advance and introduce it as a variety in sexual pleasures. A woman must find out in advance which image will best excite her partner’s imagination. Maybe this is a strict boss? Or just a vulgar dominatrix?

Bottom line

Knowing the basic principles of dominance, you can successfully develop the missing qualities in yourself and get rid of the unwanted ones. However, if a person feels comfortable in the position of a follower, one should not forcibly transform him into a leader: this will end in failure.

Source: TayniyMir.com

dominant
Dominant Dominant (from “dominant”) is a term used in different subject areas:
Wikipedia

dominant
I g. The dominant idea, the main feature or the most important component of something. II g. Temporarily dominant focus of excitation in the central nervous system at the moment, capable of exerting an inhibitory effect on the activity of other nerve centers (in physiology). III g. The name of the fifth step of the scale, as well as the chords built on this step (in music).
Large modern explanatory dictionary of the Russian language

dominant
(lat. dominans (domlnantis) dominant) 1) the dominant idea, the main feature or the most important component of something; 2) music.a) 5th degree of the diatonic scale; b) in the doctrine of harmony - the name of the chords built at this level of the scale; 3) physiol. the currently dominant focus of excitation in the central nervous system, which has increased susceptibility to all irritations coming into it and is capable of exerting an inhibitory effect on the activity of other nerve centers.
New dictionary of foreign words

dominant
and. 1) The dominant idea, the main feature or the most important component of something. 2) A temporarily dominant focus of excitation in the central nervous system at a given moment, capable of exerting an inhibitory effect on the activity of other nerve centers (in physiology). 3) The name of the fifth degree of the scale, as well as the chords built on this level (in music).
New explanatory dictionary of the Russian language by Efremova

dominant
wives , music fifth tone, fifth of the tonic.
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Dahl's Dictionary

dominant
[
1. the dominant idea, main feature or most important component of something;
2. music a) 5th degree of the diatonic scale; b) in the doctrine of harmony - the name of the chords built at this level of the scale;
3. physiol. the currently dominant focus of excitation in the central nervous system, which has increased susceptibility to all irritations coming into it and is capable of exerting an inhibitory effect on the activity of other nerve centers.
Dictionary of foreign expressions

dominant
(Latin dominans, dominantis - dominant). One of the members of the synonymous series, chosen as the bearer of the main meaning, subordinating to itself all additional semantic and stylistic shades of meaning expressed by other members of the series. Dominant in a series of synonyms-nouns: clothes - dress, suit, outfit, toilet. Dominant in a series of synonyms-adjectives: infinite - limitless, limitless, immense, boundless, boundless, boundless. The dominant in a series of synonyms-verbs: rush - rush, rush, rush, rush, rush.
Dictionary of linguistic terms

dominant
dominant
Dictionary of the Russian language Lopatin

dominant
dominant idea dominant phenomenon, dominant, dominant in some area
Ozhegov's Dictionary of the Russian Language

dominant
in music - one of the tonal functions in major and minor, which has an intense tendency towards the tonic. The basis of the dominant chords is the triad of the V scale degree. The function of the dominant (D) is also performed by chords derived from it. - in physiology - a temporarily dominant focus of excitation in the central nervous system; creates a latent readiness of the body for a certain activity while simultaneously inhibiting other reflex acts. The principle of dominance was formulated by A. A. Ukhtomsky in 1911-
23. - (from Latin dominans, genitive case dominantis - dominant), the dominant idea, the main feature or the most important component of something.
Modern explanatory dictionary, TSB

dominant
dominant 1) The dominant idea, the main feature or the most important component of something. 2) A temporarily dominant focus of excitation in the central nervous system at a given moment, capable of exerting an inhibitory effect on the activity of other nerve centers (in physiology). 3) The name of the fifth degree of the scale, as well as the chords built on this level (in music).
Explanatory Dictionary by Efremova

dominant
dominants, w. (Italian dominante, lit. dominant).
Read also: Compatibility of the Scorpio sign with other zodiac signs
1. A note located a fifth up from the tonic, the main note (music).
2. The dominant idea, the main feature of something. (scient.).
Explanatory Dictionary of the Russian Language by Ushakov

dominant
(lat. dominans, dominantis dominant) a state of stable increase in the excitability of a group (union) of nerve centers, directing the integral activity of the body; on the basis of the dominant motivation, food, sexual and other D. can arise.
Medical terms

dominant
dominatrix _
nta, -y
Complete spelling dictionary of the Russian language

dominant
the dominant idea, the main feature or the most important component of something the fifth level of tonality, scale, as well as the chord built at this level the temporarily dominant source of excitation in the central nervous system at the moment, capable of exerting an inhibitory effect on the activity of other nerve centers
Wiktionary

Source: xn--b1advjcbct.xn--p1ai

Signs of a dominant

The dominant is characterized by a certain portrait, which includes the following features:

Selfishness. The dominant is only interested in his own ego. Everything should be the way he wants it, and the other side should flawlessly carry out all his orders.
Lack of emotions. The dominant must be cold and calculating. No worries or fear of hurting your partner. Such a person loves only himself
Self-sufficiency. The dominant cannot depend on another person either in the spiritual sense or in the material sense.
Lack of concern for your partner. A dominant woman should not sacrifice anything for a man. She comes first for herself.

In a permanent couple, the working way to dominate a man is to build a system in which there will be rewards and punishments. This must be expressed in a moral and physical sense.

This is the locus. The meaning of the word "locus"

Locus (Latin locus - place) in genetics means the location of a specific gene on the genetic or cytological map of a chromosome. A variant of the DNA sequence at a given locus is called an allele. An ordered list of loci for a genome is called a genetic map. Gene mapping is the identification of a locus for a specific biological trait. Diploid or polyploid cells that carry the same alleles at any locus are called homozygous for that locus, and those that carry different alleles are called heterozygous.

Levels of development

Femdom is a subtle concept. It is wrong to come to him quickly and spontaneously. Partners should prepare themselves, especially the man, since for him the image of a person who obeys may be unusual.

Elementary

Here a man is just learning to obey. He needs to learn to pretend to be a well-mannered person. He will always give a woman a seat, carry her bags, open doors for her. In this way, the man will gradually get used to doing everything to please the woman and satisfy her needs.

Varieties

Femdom is a fairly broad concept. Despite the fact that for a woman this is one way or another an opportunity to gain the upper hand over a man, this term has several varieties. It's about role-playing and complete bondage.

Role-playing game

Femdom is not something that is usually discussed out loud, even with close friends. A man is unlikely to tell someone that his woman is beating him with a whip while he is following her various instructions. The couple reserves such pleasures among themselves, using them in bed as part of role-play.

Total slavery

A man gives himself entirely to a woman. He fulfills her whims day and night, becoming her real slave, not daring to say “no”. If a man starts to contradict, he will be punished. The partner can humiliate him both morally and physically (use a whip, call him dirty names, force him to lick his toes, etc.).

This is variability. Subject . Variability of organisms.

Variability, its types and types.

Genetics studies not only the phenomena of heredity, but also the variability of organisms. Variability is the property of living things to change, expressed in the ability to acquire new characteristics or lose old ones. The causes of variability are the diversity of genotypes and environmental conditions that determine the diversity in the manifestation of traits in organisms with the same genotypes.

VARIABILITY

The formation of various types of variability is a consequence of the interaction of the external environment and genotype.

Characteristics of phenotypic variability.

Phenotypic variability is changes in the phenotype that occur under the influence of environmental conditions and do not affect the genotype, although the degree of their severity is determined by the genotype.

Ontogenetic variability is a constant change in characteristics during the development of an individual (ontogenesis of amphibians, insects, development of morphophysiological and mental characteristics in humans).

Modifying variability is phenotypic changes that occur as a result of the influence of environmental factors on the organism.

Modification variability is determined by the genotype. Modifications are not inherited and are seasonal and environmental.

Seasonal modifications are genetically determined changes in characteristics as a result of seasonal changes in climatic conditions.

Ecological modifications are adaptive changes in phenotype in response to changing environmental conditions. Phenotypically, they manifest themselves in the degree of expression of the trait. Ecological modifications affect quantitative (weight of animals, offspring) and qualitative (color of human skin under the influence of UV rays) characteristics.

Modification properties:

They appear gradually and have transitional forms.

Modifications form continuous series and are grouped around the average value.

They arise directionally - under the influence of the same environmental factor, a group of organisms changes in a similar way.

All the most common modifications have an adaptive (adaptive) nature.

Thus, an increase in the number of red blood cells and the Hb content in the blood of animals and humans in the mountains represent an adaptation for better use of oxygen. Tanning is an adaptation to the effects of excessive sun exposure. It has been established that only those modifications that are caused by ordinary changes in natural conditions are adaptive. Modifications caused by various chemical and physical factors have no adaptive significance. Thus, by exposing Drosophila pupae to elevated temperatures, it is possible to obtain individuals with curled wings and notches on them, which resemble mutations.

The modifications are adequate, i.e. the degree of severity of the symptom is directly dependent on the type and duration of action of the factor. Thus, improving the living conditions of livestock causes an increase in the weight of animals.

One of the main properties of modifications is their mass nature - the same factor causes the same change in individuals that are genotypically similar. The limit and severity of modifications is controlled by the genotype.

Modifications have varying degrees of durability: long-term and short-term. So, a person’s tan goes away after the insolation ends. Other modifications that arise in the early stages of development may persist throughout life (bowlegs after rickets).

What kind of man would agree to have sex with a femdom?

Not every man agrees to have sex with a femdom. However, this does not mean that those who wish to be dominated are weak. Usually these are, on the contrary, strong personalities who are ready to sacrifice themselves for a woman. In most cases, such men can be divided into 4 categories.

Overly responsible

These are the men who, even as children, were told by their parents that they needed to be responsible. If you neglect this rule, then there is every chance of being punished. As a result, a person grows up with a strong core, but at the subconscious level he wants to submit to someone and decides to have a relationship with a femdom.

Thirsty for new emotions

It's no secret that many people love variety in their sex life, and men even more so. Femdom can be a great option to diversify intimacy. This is very unusual and exciting. The dominance of your partner will bring new emotions.

guilty

A man who constantly feels guilty on a subconscious level understands that in order to get rid of it, he needs to be punished. This is where the dominant woman’s turn comes. She will punish, humiliate, and he will only feel relief and pleasure from this.

Religious

All deeply religious people are convinced that sex is a sin. However, sooner or later physiological needs appear and need to be satisfied. With femdom, a man will feel like he is having forced sex. As a result, he will receive a release and will not feel guilty for getting involved in a dirty business.

How dominance affects your personal life

In society, each person interacts with many other people belonging to different psychotypes. Therefore, his type of dominance hierarchy does not manifest itself as clearly as it could. But in their personal lives, both partners fully demonstrate their tendency to dominate or submit. Which union will be the most successful? Let's figure it out.

Alpha+Alpha - passionate love or battlefield?

Typically, the beginning of a relationship between two alphas is like a Hollywood movie. It has everything - dizzying romance, intense passion, seething jealousy, amazing sex and other attributes inherent in a passionate romance.

But over time, the two dominants become cramped under the same blanket. An irreconcilable competition for leadership begins, which the partners wage to the death. The territory of love is transformed into a zone of constant conflict.

Constant quarrels, scandals and stormy showdowns exhaust both, but neither is ready to give in and take a subordinate position. The couple soon breaks up as the battle for dominance cannot end in a draw. Everyone needs power over a person, which will allow them to fully demonstrate their inclination to control. It is about such relationships that they say: “A bright but short romance.”

Alpha + Beta - a union of strong personalities

The relationship in this couple is quite stable. And even though the degree of love intensity is not so high here, conflict situations occur much less frequently. Beta allows alpha to dominate, but does not turn into a weak-willed puppet.

If some decisions of the leading partner go against the principles or worldview of the follower, he will not obey weak-willedly. Beta will defend his point of view using arguments and logical arguments. Such alliances are the most durable, as they are based on mutual respect between partners.

Alpha + Omega - is obedience always necessary?

It would seem that such a union should be ideal: the alpha dominates, the omega obeys unquestioningly. Everyone takes their place - what else is needed for a strong relationship? But in fact, there are pitfalls here, over which more than one couple has crashed.

The spirit of competition is important to an alpha. Only by competing and winning does such a person feel happy. Alas, the submissive, flexible omega cannot provide his soul mate with the dose of thrills that the dominant vitally needs. Therefore, after a while, the alpha begins to openly get bored and often finds on the side what is so lacking in his relationship with his partner.

Beta + Beta - partnerships

If there are couples in your circle who have lived together happily and happily, and at the same time retained love and respect for each other, do not even doubt that both partners belong to the beta psychological type. Without experiencing an overwhelming desire to dominate and subjugate, everyone is ready to listen to the partner’s point of view, accept it or compromise.

This is an alliance based not only on romantic feelings, but also on friendly affection. Partners support each other, make responsible decisions together and rarely conflict. If two betas decide to enter into a marriage, most likely, such a couple will become an example of an ideal family for their environment.

Beta + Omega - hit or miss

When an alliance is concluded between people who do not have clearly defined dominant characteristics, it is almost impossible to predict the further development of their relationship. Some of them will have to evolve to the next hierarchical level. It is on this that the future fate of such a couple depends.

If omega can develop dominant inclinations to the level of beta, the union will be long and strong. In those situations where the desire for control in omega is completely absent, beta eventually transforms into alpha. At first, this situation will suit both, but there is a risk that the newly minted alpha will get bored next to a passive life partner and begin to look for a new partner.

Omega + Omega - two sad loneliness

This kind of relationship is incredibly sad. Two uninitiative partners are not able to create a full-fledged union and provide each other with any development. Often they end up together by chance - they are introduced by friends or relatives and are pushed into a relationship in every possible way, because they believe that such quiet people will definitely be happy together. And it’s easier for omegas to give in to the pressure of others than to defend their right to choose a partner on their own.

The distinctive features of such a union are total boredom, a dull pastime, and over time, quiet hatred towards each other. Often, partners stay together only because neither of them has the resolve to leave this burdensome, forced relationship. But more often than not, such a couple still breaks up, since by staying together both run the risk of getting bogged down in psychological and everyday problems.

Secrets of domination for women

Dominance is not as easy as it may seem, especially for women. Historically, they are more likely to find themselves in subordinate roles. For a man, this feeling is alien. He is used to power. Therefore, in order to subjugate him, a woman must know some secrets.

Ask the right questions

The easiest and most effective way to start dominating is to do it through communication, starting a secret game. It is important to ask your partner the right questions. They can be about life, about love, about sex. For example:

Is a woman obligated to yield to a man?
What do you like most about yourself?
Are you ready to make compromises?
How about variety in sex?

And under no circumstances should you blow a man’s mind by asking him if he loves you, if he cheated, when the wedding is, etc. You definitely won’t be able to dominate with this approach.

Pre-evaluate your partner

It is very important to observe your partner and be able to present him with timely information that will provoke him to act the way the woman wants. A working scenario when an illusion is created for a man that there will also be some benefit for him.

It's ideal when a woman manipulates. She clearly shows joy when she likes something and gets very upset if a man does something wrong. For him, this will be a signal to make his lady happy, and she, in turn, receives power.

Train your emotions

Femdom is not just about the body. Emotions also matter. It is good practice for a woman to practice in front of a mirror. You should try to be happy, angry, upset. This will allow you to understand which emotions are good, and which ones you still need to work on in order to learn to dominate.

Popularity of femdom

Femdom is a common concept. It is found in the genre of erotic photography, fine arts, cinema and literature.

In literature

No matter how strange it may sound, femdom was popular in the works of the classics. Vivid examples:

"Black Obelisk", Erich Maria Remarque;
Venus in Furs, Leopold von Sacher-Masoch;
"The Happy Prostitute" by Xaviera Hollander.

Contemporaries also do not ignore the topic of female dominance in their works. For example, it can be clearly seen in “Role Plays in Adulthood” by Andrei Gusev.

In anime

Sexuality in anime is often sanctified. There are also stories where femdom meets. Among them:

xxxHOLiC;
Kaibutsu Oujo;
Zero no Tsukaima;
MM!;
Prison School.

This direction has quite a lot of fans.

In porn

BDSM is a popular section in pornography. Femdom is also an integral part of it. Someone is watching how a mistress humiliates her slave because she cannot afford it with her partner in real life. Someone watches and learns new tricks in this craft.

Dominance Framework

BDSM practice has its limits. Everything must be done wisely, voluntarily and safely. There can be no coercion in these relationships, and no one should suffer as a result of the games. The main goal is to experience new sensations that are pleasant for two.

Sharpness

All actions must be performed with great care, especially when it comes to tying up a man’s testicles, walking on the body and other extreme things. Any sudden movement can be harmful to health.

Partner suppression

There are situations when some actions are unacceptable for a man and this must be treated with understanding. You shouldn’t put pressure on your partner; it’s better to approach the issue from the other side and try something different.

Losing control

One way or another, BDSM is extreme sports, during which both partners experience excitement. In this state it is easy to lose control. To do this, you need to discuss a safe word before starting (it should not be from everyday conversations). When a partner becomes uncomfortable, he says it and the games stop.

Excessive haste

You should forget about the rush. All steps must be thought out in advance. The unexpected cannot be allowed in femdom, so as not to cause harm.

Safety regulations

Before you start playing, you need to find out if your partner has any health problems. In this practice, the woman has a great responsibility. She must be careful not to go too far with a man.

Partner's consent

BDSM is a direction in which partners must find mutual understanding. A woman cannot just start humiliating a man, this will be regarded as violence. Both parties must come to an agreement and discuss all the details in advance.

No unnecessary cruelty

The dominant woman must gain power not through cruelty, but through the ability to create the appropriate mood. Her voice should be so powerful that the man doesn’t even have the thought of trying to object. She cannot show pity, she must act clearly. Moreover, if she went too far with harshness, the man can always say a safe word so that the mistress will stop.

Relationships between tops and bottoms

The relationship between the top and the bottom, regardless of mutual trust, implies the conclusion of a kind of agreement.

Four Rules of Submission

Unquestioning execution of orders. Disagreement on the part of the sub is not welcomed: the lack of desire to obey indicates a discrepancy in his role.
Individual nature of practice. Each couple is unique and adjusts the rules to their mutual preferences.
Lack of complete passivity. Following orders is important, but flirting, initiative and additional actions will have a positive effect on sexual and psychological pleasure.
Trusting your intuition. How you play the role depends on trusting your feelings and intuitive perception of the game.

Contract between dominant and submissive

We are not talking about a legally certified document, but about the preferences of the partners expressed in a written agreement. It specifies the rules by which the games will be played. The conclusion of an agreement, on the one hand, speaks of “subordination of the slave”, on the other hand, agreement in complete submission.

The agreement personifies the symbolic connection between partners, prescribes the rights of the dominant and submissive, and resolves possible conflict situations that arise in practice. It outlines the boundaries of permitted actions on the part of the subordinate and the desires of the subordinate, recommended for fulfillment. Things not specified in it are taboo.

An example of concluding a contract is described in the novel by E.L. James, whose main character studies in detail the rules written in it.