How to learn to joke well in any situation: how to be funny with a girl and exercises from the school of wit

Hi all! Today we'll talk about sociability. As you know, man is a social being. This means that he will not be able to fully develop without communication. At each age stage, a person learns to communicate, perceive and transmit information. Scientists have proven that even inside the mother, the child hears her speech and reacts to it. Today, the problem of high-quality, pleasant and interesting communication worries many. Every person wants to be interesting and appreciated, but sometimes we all have to experience embarrassment and difficulties in communication. Below we will figure out how to become a sociable and interesting person so that our interlocutors want to continue communicating with us.

Why be sociable and friendly

Active and energetic people are always visible. But not everyone can be like this; some find it difficult to make new acquaintances, while others find it difficult to maintain friendships. Some people feel embarrassed during pauses in conversation, others, in principle, cannot insert a phrase into the dialogue in time. So, why be sociable, and what benefits does being sociable bring?

Throughout life, a child, then an adult, is constantly in society. One way or another, he has to intersect with other people. All of these intersections can be of great service in some issue or difficult circumstances. Many people strive to make useful contacts for selfish purposes. And they succeed!

Sociability relieves a person from the feeling of loneliness, allows you to learn something new, useful, develops, helps you find “your” person to live with or friends. And these are basic needs, without which we will not experience full happiness. Being more sociable is useful for many, but there are some nuances here, which we will look at below.

Is it possible to be funny with a girl?

Let's consider how safe it is to joke with girls. Yes, in addition to material wealth and beautiful appearance, a sense of humor is in the lead. The rest of the qualities are behind.

Life is grey, dull, tough, obsessive. The ability to make a person laugh heartily is a wonderful ability. You won't want to leave such a person.

You are a man who has decided to conquer a female representative with a sense of humor.

Let's assess the level of danger:

Not all women have a sense of humor. There are ladies who don't respond to jokes. This is their nature.
On certain days of the month it is dangerous to joke with women.
It's dangerous to joke with a woman about her at any time. Even if it seems that you will now become the god of humor, the joke will be considered cruel if it hurts feelings.
Jokes about weight and external flaws are taboo.
Don’t start your acquaintance with a joke: maybe the girl is experiencing the death of her beloved grandmother. Make yourself look like a soulless clown.
There are women whose intelligence is so high that he only takes subtle, highly intelligent jokes. You will have to master this kind of humor, otherwise you will be rejected with jokes “about pussy and ass.”

Not only the sense of humor may not coincide, but also the topic. Avoid religious topics and evil humor. Start small.

Thinking about learning a couple of jokes and quit reading this dull article? Forward!

You'll look like Petrosyan with an accordion at a biker's party. Forget the word "anecdote". Only a few people know how to tell them funny.

Important! If you are interested in jokes, listen to the guru of this genre: Roman Lvovich Trakhtenberg. This man knew how to make any lady laugh: without a sense of humor, paralyzed or even dead. You can be funny with a girl, you need to know how.

Signs of a sociable person

In psychology, the terms “sociability” and “communication skills” are different. If we talk about sociability, then this is the process of exchanging information, which is aimed at establishing contacts with other people. It is universal, that is, it manifests itself in all types of human activity, helps to realize and understand oneself and other people.

Communication is a skill that allows a person to start, build, and maintain relationships. The main signs of a sociable person are:

openness - a sociable person seems open to many, he can talk to everyone and about everything, openly declaring his opinion;
gaiety is a sense of humor; a cheerful person sometimes maintains a conversation through successful phrases spoken with humor, he is humorous, he exudes positivity;
talkative - a sociable person may seem too talkative at first glance, but this is his specialty, due to this quality he does not lose communication with a person and knows how to maintain him constantly;
determination is another characteristic of a sociable person; such people often use communication as a skill to achieve any goals in work, negotiations, or study;
confidence is an important sign, since an insecure person does not know how to behave in society, how to present himself and his point of view, therefore only confident people have sociability;
restraint - with all his charisma, energy and humor, a sociable person is reserved, as he is looking for common ground with his interlocutor;
flexibility - such a person is flexible, he can adapt to any situation, any rules, he is proactive and quickly adapts to everything new;
an improviser - communication for him is like creativity, he is not content with his monologue, but is always sensitive to feedback;
lack of talkativeness - sociability is not the same as talkativeness, a sociable interlocutor will not burden another with unnecessary information, a conversation with him is useful and interesting.

It has been proven that it is easier for some to become sociable; this depends on character traits, temperament, and the conditions of personality development. If a person is an introvert, it is quite difficult for him to be flexible and constantly communicate. It’s much easier for an extrovert.

Little secrets of success: what does sociability consist of?

The main thing to understand is that in order to “become” someone, you need to “be.” First of all, be yourself, without being afraid of the reactions of others and without always trying to seem like someone you really are not. If, for example, the conversation didn’t turn out the way you originally wanted, think that it’s never too late to learn.

Have you always dreamed of speaking beautifully and interestingly? Sign up for special courses, read more useful literature. Try to live your life by improving your positive aspects every day. Considering the fact that in the modern world there are many different ways to help you become sociable, choose the one that is most comfortable and convenient for you.

If any errors or mistakes occur, try not to focus your attention on them too much. Try to joke, joke, be ironic, or, as a last resort, start from scratch. Don't wait until someone wants to initiate the conversation - keep in touch on your part.

You are always afraid to do this “live” - use the phone or the Internet. Develop the habit of saying hello to people - this will help you relax. If you have free time, try to spend it usefully: engage in socially significant work, an interesting hobby of a collective nature, participate in the discussion of social issues on forums or meetings.

Please note that becoming cheerful and interesting does not mean communicating and making friends with literally everyone and constantly joking with or without reason. Try to draw contact lines between those circles of people with whom relationships bring pleasure and do not give rise to the idea that time is wasted.

Where do communication problems come from?

Communication problems do not just arise; they mature in the child’s psyche starting from childhood. In the family, he sees how the parents act, how they communicate, and repeats after them. If the child’s feelings were not taken into account, he was not heard, a lot was decided for him, he will already be prepared for difficulties in communications.

When a child enters society, it also influences the development of communication. Along with this, self-esteem also develops. If even an adult finds himself in an unfamiliar situation, where he is very different from the group in social and financial status, and the group will greatly influence him, his self-esteem will be shaken. What can we say about the child?

Developing in an unfavorable environment, communication difficulties are reinforced, resulting in an insecure person with communication problems. Such an interlocutor realizes himself as inept in communication and insecure and withdraws from reality into the Internet, alcohol and other bad habits.

Main problems in communication:

I don’t know what topic to discuss with my interlocutor;
I want to be friends or date a girl/boyfriend, but I don’t know how to achieve this;
I don’t know how to defend myself and defend my opinion in disputes and conflicts.

Many turn to psychologists with requests: how to stop being shy, learn to communicate, and be confident. These problems can be solved; it is important to understand yourself, your characteristics and difficulties, then look for ways out of a difficult situation in communication.

Take action

You can’t do without drawing up a clear action plan on how to become sociable. It is necessary to perform some action every day, sometimes forcing yourself to communicate with people, even if you have no desire to do it. Let these actions become mandatory for you, for example, like brushing your teeth in the morning. Only this way will help you make new acquaintances or friends, and become a sociable person.

How to organize yourself and your time?

How to recognize and improve bad karma?

What is loneliness and how to deal with it?

Differences in communication between men and women

The structure of the male and female psyches is different. Women are considered more talkative, while men are always considered silent. But this is a myth, a misconception. Practice shows that women can also be silent, and sometimes men cannot be talked over. Therefore, we will look at the main differences in communication between these two sexes.

The woman is focused on the communication process. It often doesn’t matter to her what to talk about, it is important that this process continues and does not end. Men are tuned to the result of the exchange of information. This is why sometimes it is difficult for the stronger sex to make many friends, since you cannot talk to many people about common activities.
Observations have shown that women are better listeners. They will sympathize, nod, shake their heads. Such manifestations are not typical for men unless they are trained to do so. The male population tends to interrupt and give an answer without fully listening to the question.
Men are brief in their statements. Women tend to use artistic expression and description. They can repeat the same question several times, while men do not see the need for this.

But these differences are relative. If a man wants to become a business coach, manager or any other specialist who needs to speak in front of a large audience, he can develop his communication skills, gradually become easier to communicate with, and earn the “audience award.” And some women want to become sociable and self-confident, since excess shyness gets in the way.

Be friendly

In order to have friends, although it may seem trivial, you must learn to be friendly. This means being open to the people around you and not being afraid to take the first step to introduce yourself and start a conversation. This also means that people should not respond in kind. Don't be upset if the person doesn't reciprocate your feelings, and never have any illusions about your friendship in advance.

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How to be a sociable and interesting person with people: ways

Teaching communication skills is an art. Therefore, in personal growth and business trainings, a large block of theory and practice is devoted to communication. Let's figure out what methods help increase the quantity and quality of communication.

Take your time

Take your time to get acquainted and start communicating. Oddly enough, this is the first recommendation when teaching communication. A stranger will be annoyed by intrusive questions about family, education, and personal interests.

At the first contact, a greeting and a short conversation on general topics, for example, about the weather, events in the world, the country, are enough. Only at the next meeting can you deepen your knowledge about the person and tell a little about yourself.

Listen

Develop your listening skills. This is important so that the interlocutor is not loaded with unnecessary information about problems in your family, complaints about a difficult life, or embellished successes of your children. Good communication involves active listening. Ask questions on the topic of conversation, comment.

Look for similarities

Look for something in common. Sometimes completely different people collide in communication. But a sociable interlocutor will always find a common language with anyone. The secret is simple: he learned to take into account obvious interests and hidden ones. You can share experiences, opinions, interests with people.

The search for common topics for conversation can be carried out through suggestive conversations, for example, how was the weekend, what does he want to do. Such questions reveal the interests and values of the participants in communication.

Be willing to help

You can be confident and not shy in dialogue due to the desire to be useful. This is another secret to successful communication. Try to look for topics where you can be useful to a person. Your help to him can be in simply listening to problems and experiences.

Be reasonably confident

Confidence should be moderate. People are put off by excessive shyness and stardom. You need to be confident, know your worth, and stop being shy about expressing your opinion.

Take the initiative

Initiative is always commendable. In a conversation, it is wrong to just nod, listen and that’s it. Many people are even annoyed by this behavior. Therefore, sometimes ask new topics for discussion, insist on them, show in these topics your erudition, knowledge that you are an intelligent and interesting person.

Develop your humor

Develop your wit. In some companies, competition in wits is visible even to the naked eye. There is no need for this in dialogues, but sometimes you need to insert a funny statement or a witty phrase. Laughter always relieves tension; positive people are valued and people want to communicate with them further. Read this article to learn how to improve your humor and learn how to make funny jokes.

React

All people are not perfect, sometimes there are incidents in communication. You will be highly appreciated if you learn to turn negative aspects into a joke and emphasize positive ones. Cultivate the following qualities in yourself: do not be offended by trifles, do not react to provocations with rude statements. But there is no need to ignore the barbs directed at you.

If a person intentionally wanted to offend you, show that you are hurt, but forgive him. Such generosity will force him not to do this in the future. Noble behavior allows you to attract people and make friends easily.

And about

How to learn to joke well in any situation: 10 rules

Friends, we have already talked about how to develop your humor, as well as what stand-up is and how to learn it. And today we’ll focus on how to make your jokes win-win and worthy of attention. You've probably found yourself in situations where you decided to make a joke, but no one appreciated it. Have you thought that maybe you did something wrong? Not every joke you make can be successful. But to make the humor really funny, you should listen to the tips that you will see below. Now you will learn all the secrets of high-quality public speaking.

Let's talk about the rules of good humor.

Build associations

This is one of the main criteria for a successful joke. You need to quickly generate ideas in your head and select dozens of interpretation options for the situation. You witnessed something or heard some news, instantly replayed everything in your head - come up with even the most primitive associations. One situation - several interpretation options. One of them will definitely be the best, and it is worth mentioning. It’s great if the listener can immediately visualize what you said.

Self-censorship

Strictly practice self-censorship. What this means: You must come up with high-quality jokes that are catchy and funny. Avoid hackneyed topics, do not use clichés. If, in response to an ordinary phrase, the interlocutor says something like: “We saw better!”, then no one will laugh. No matter what, no one will smile. It's simply not funny anymore and it's hackneyed.

The above and similar clichés will reveal your complete lack of humor and the ability to come up with interesting jokes on your own. Generate a dozen jokes and choose one - the best one. This choice will mean that you have taste. And you are able to highlight what will hook listeners.

The ability to let yourself go

If you feel awkward in front of the public and not only are you unable to say a word, but you can’t even put your thoughts together, then you need to learn to let go of the situation. Squeezed and constrained, you will be of no interest to anyone; this is the worst state for a comedian. Try to relax and collect yourself. Self-irony will help you feel more confident (we’ll talk more about it later). Come up with answers in advance to all sorts of jokes directed at you.

Share sincere emotions

It is always important to establish trusting contact with the public and convey your emotional experiences to them. It is always more pleasant for the audience to watch a comedian's frank performance than to listen to his stories on abstract topics that do not concern him personally. Realize that the most compelling stories are the ones you put your soul into. Something sad happened and it seems you are not in the mood to joke? But even such a situation can be presented in such a way that the public will receive you with a bang.

You've probably noticed that most comedians never miss an opportunity to share their personal and family lives in a humorous way. Because the audience likes it. This is something that always backfires. Why? Because many people recognize themselves in this humor.

The ability to find an analogy

This is also a very important criterion. You must learn to easily and quickly find comparisons by sound and meaning. Let's say a phrase has several meanings, and you cleverly operate with it in such a way that others wonder how it didn't occur to them. Different phrases, things, situations and one common feature are what you need for impeccable humor.

Ability to develop paradox

Paradoxical things help in humor. Just look around and you will notice many situations in which there is a clear discrepancy. And think about it, if this is true, what else could be true? That's it, the mechanism has started. Incredible ideas begin to come into your head one after another. We read the paradoxical news and came up with several similar jokes to go with it.

Clearly worded jokes

When you start formulating your funny stories clearly and concisely, you will have more success in front of the public. Nobody likes to listen to a boring story for half an hour with all the (unnecessary) details. By the way, you can read about how to learn to speak beautifully and express your thoughts correctly in this article. Many people will already understand in the middle what the author is leading to and will generally lose all interest in his speech. To ensure that they always listen to you attentively, do not make a similar mistake and do not switch to unnecessary, unimportant details. Follow two rules:

Minimum words. The shorter the story, the more understandable and better it is for the audience.
The funniest and most important word is at the end of your joke. Build the story so that the meaningful phrase ends up at the end. If 3-4 more words are heard after it, then they will be superfluous.

This algorithm will help you understand how to joke correctly and accurately in groups.

Find the right moment

The best joke is the one that was said at the right time, then it will really “shot”. How do you know when it's time to use your humor?

Noticed the analogy.
Noticed inconsistency, illogicality, contradiction.
Something stands out from the general background. Based on this and the previous points, you can easily understand that the time for jokes has come. Generate ideas quickly and embrace humor.
And at the end, surprise your listeners with an unexpected ending. This is especially true if they have already guessed what you are talking about.

Channel your anxiety in the right direction

There is not a single person who would feel completely calm in front of an audience. Everyone who speaks (even makes a banal toast) is worried. But it is important to use this feeling in the right direction. Instead of feeling stiff, trembling throughout your body and shaking hands, channel your energy into speaking in front of an audience. All that energy that is spent on jitters should be invested in your jokes.

Anxiety is normal. But you should forget about it. Once you start connecting with your audience, you need to switch gears.

Self-irony is important

You have already read above about the importance of self-irony in humor. You need to learn to laugh at yourself. Highlight all your weaknesses and turn them into your strengths. Come up with jokes about your imperfections that are noticeable to others.

Let's say you are too fat or thin and are tired of listening to the jokes of your friends, then come up with a dozen funny answers to them. If someone criticized your initiatives, do not get into an argument and do not try to convince this person, it is better to immediately agree and do it with humor.

How to become more talkative, open and cheerful on your own

To be an ace in communication, you need to develop 3 areas of communication. They will allow you to be harmonious and successful in conversations.

Verbal communication

Starting a conversation and maintaining it requires important skills. Let's figure out how anyone, even an introvert, can become more sociable and be able to carry on a conversation.

Step 1

Learn to start a conversation. The beginning can be based on an observation “I noticed that you...”, a compliment “you look great in a dress...”, a general topic “Isn’t it really nice weather today...”

Step 2

Keep the conversation going not with general phrases, but with specific questions and topics, reveal information about yourself, such as your favorite movie, hobbies, leisure activities, interests. You can speak out about an issue by expressing your opinion. But don't post too personal information right away.

Try to ask questions that do not require “yes” or “no” answers. Such questions are called open-ended, that is, after them there should be a detailed answer with some information.

Step 3

Practice talking at a bus stop with strangers, neighbors, colleagues. It should be about nothing, just to practice your skills. Set yourself a rule: compliment anyone twice a day.

Non-verbal

If we can leave something unsaid with words, then our body language will give us away. All our uncertainty and fear can be read by an experienced person by posture, position of arms and legs, gestures and posture. To become relaxed on a non-verbal level, it is important to apply the following recommendations. You can even flirt with non-verbal language.

Step 1

Identify your problems. An open person can be confident and easily start a conversation. To do this, try not to slouch, and not to cross your arms and legs. Eye contact is also important. If it is a huge effort for you to look your interlocutor in the eyes, then problems begin with communication. Tone of voice, posture, and facial expression are also nonverbal.

Step 2

After identifying your problems, solve them. Ask a loved one to watch you from the side while communicating. Let him notice how you talk, in what tone and with what facial expression. When speaking, work on looking at your interlocutor, keeping your hands free, smiling, and using gestures when explaining.

Self confidence

You can develop self-confidence and increase self-esteem at any conscious age. This is a skill that will result in you being able to communicate very fluently. Let's think about how to learn to communicate confidently.

Step 1

Identify the conditions under which you lose confidence. Is it difficult for you to express your opinion or ask for something? Do you know how to say no? After that, try to build on your feelings and talk about them without thinking about the consequences. Try to express your opinion on any matter, even if it differs from the views of the majority.

Learn to say no. You have the right not to do what you don't want. If you refuse (if you have finally decided), do not apologize, stop justifying yourself. Just start saying this word one day.

Step 2

Establish yourself in confident communication. If a phrase is difficult to say at first, think it through, then speak. Confidence takes practice.

How to stop being afraid of people?

The first step that needs to be taken on the path to change is to stop being afraid of people, since it is this phobia that becomes the cause of “closedness” and shyness. You can learn this by:

workouts at home. Imagine that you have to do something that you have always been afraid of - speaking in front of an audience, a group of people. Prepare the phrases you will say and the questions you will ask. Improve your voice and diction.
memorizing jokes. You will never be able to become a sociable person if you don’t know how to joke, be self-ironic, know or be able to come up with a funny story for a certain life occasion.
smiles. Just smile in difficult times - and you will feel how the constraint, which makes it very difficult to become different, will slowly fade away. Pay attention to those nearby, perhaps they are no less afraid than you, support them with your friendliness.
hearing and hearing. Treat others with as much sensitivity and consideration as possible, be sure to demonstrate your own involvement with phrases that support the conversation, and, if possible, never answer sincere questions from others in monosyllables. At least a few simple details, even if you don’t always want to talk about anything.

Useful books for developing sociability

To be cool among your peers, sociable at work and sociable at home, study several books on developing communication skills. There are several popular sources that will even teach you how to become the most sociable from a gamer. If you are short on time, use audiobooks. By reading books, you broaden your horizons, which is also useful for communication skills.

Here are the basic books for leveling up your skill:

“Mastery of communication. How to get along with anyone,” Paul McGee.
“We turn on the charm using the methods of the secret services,” Jack Schafer and Marvin Carlins.
“I can hear right through you. Effective negotiation techniques”, Mark Goulston.
“Secrets of communication. The Magic of Words”, James Borg.

Communicate on social networks

There is no better way to solve the problem of how to develop sociability than social networks. This is the best place to practice communicating with people and make friends. On social media networks, the easiest way is to become a relaxed and sociable girl, or to be a more open guy. After all, communication without eye contact is much easier, since no one will see your shyness.

How to become more confident, lively and pleasant in communication

I understand your situation and since you are reading this article, I have an effective solution for you. Trainings are great for developing communication skills.

The online intensive “Effective Communication” is suitable for:
Entrepreneurs, executives, top managers.
For those who work with clients, middle managers, and freelancers.
To everyone who is involved in raising children.
Anyone who wants to improve their communication with others.

The author of the course is Oleg Kalinichev, an expert in nonverbal behavior, emotional intelligence and lie detection. Accredited trainer Paul Ekman International. Managing Director of Paul Ekman International in Russia (PEI Russia).

You will learn:

Communicate with closed people.
Coping with daily problems involving other people.
Influence your environment and much more.

The course lasts 1 month and contains 33 video lectures, 26 exercises, 6 tests + webinars with emotional intelligence experts.

The training consists of 4 blocks:

Emotions. Basics.
Emotional stability and emotional flexibility.
Social efficiency.
Building harmonious relationships.

How it goes:

You are watching video lectures.
Then you complete independent tasks to reinforce the material.
Participate in webinars and discuss difficult issues.
Take tests on the material you have studied.
You complete the intensive course and receive a certificate.

The cost of completing it independently is 1,040 rubles, with a curator – 2,370 rubles.

They will refund your money if you decide within 7 days that the course is not suitable for you.

There is an article on our blog reviewing the Vikium platform on which the training will take place, read:

Brain simulators and courses Vikium - the most detailed and honest review of the online learning platform + reviews

Well, are we studying?

Exercises from the school of wit from scratch

Three methods for constructing jokes:

№	Method name	Description	Construction examples
1	"Word Replacement"	Take a phrase and replace the word	“Russia has two problems: fools and terrain”
2	"Direct meaning"	Think about it: how much nonsense we say that hurts the ears of foreigners. Just remember them in conversation, turning the essence of the words over	To you: “You’re late again! And what is it called? You: “I give up. I don’t know, I haven’t heard this riddle before.” To you: “What are your plans for the future”? Lots of options: room for imagination! “I want to take over the world and enslave the Jews.” “I decided to grow my hair.” “I’ll take a shower and shave my armpits.”
3	Hyperbola	Hyperbole is an artistic exaggeration. Lie from the heart, to the fullest	“Seryoga got it so bad that the skeleton crumbled into his pants.” “I was so scared that even the hair on my legs turned gray.”