The world is structured in such a way that a woman, as a rule, chooses a potential partner for herself from a number of candidates, and men, in turn, organize real competitions for a place next to “herself.”
In the animal world, everything is simple and clear - preference is given to the best, and the loser leaves without unnecessary emotions, but in the human world, the male certainly needs to find out why he did not pass the “selection”. So, dear ladies, you and I must adapt and learn to properly isolate ourselves from annoying men. After reading this article, you will be able to turn guys off professionally!
Expert opinion
Anna Kolyada
Psychologist, poet and just a good person
The ability to sew will not only help you shape yourself as a person who knows what she wants, but will also force others to treat you with respect, appreciating your desires and principles.
How to politely blow off a stranger on the street
If a stranger pesters you, you can refuse him in various ways - from polite phrases to a sharp refusal.
Common Phrases
You can refuse a polite young man with simple, soft phrases:
- I have a young man, and he will not like our communication.
- I'm not interested in dating. Let me pass.
- I'm married.
The last phrase should be used if you have a wedding ring or its imitation on your finger.
If the guy turns out to be persistent and continues to impose his company, you should use drier and stricter phrases:
- Sorry, but your company is unpleasant to me.
- I made it clear enough that I did not want to meet.
- Let me pass, otherwise I'll call the police.
Even with a sharp refusal, you need to behave civilly, without shouting or being rude. At the same time, you need to speak dryly and seriously, without using humorous notes in your voice.
Methods of manipulation
To reject a guy, you don’t have to engage in a frank dialogue with him. To do this, you can use some manipulation methods:
- Don't carry on a conversation . Pretend that the interlocutor’s speech does not cause any interest. If he asks questions, it is enough to answer in monosyllables, without going into details. When there is an awkward silence, the guy will most likely wish him a good day and back off.
- Take help from a friend . If your girlfriend doesn’t like the guy, you need to make him feel like a third wheel. To do this, you should talk about your own topics, go to the toilet together and pay a minimum of attention to the fan. Realizing that there is no chance for him, he himself will fall behind.
- Family man . If a man shows unwanted attention, he should unobtrusively talk about his family (real/fictional) or a loved one who should “come pick me up” soon.
- Wrong data . If you don’t want to offend or ignore a person, you can tell him a fake name, age, etc. If he asks for a phone number, you can leave it, but “accidentally” make a mistake. It’s better to write down the number yourself, promising to call him back later.
How to properly refuse a guy and not hurt his feelings, learn from the video below:
Funny
If you want to blow a guy off with humor, use the following techniques:
- Want to get married
This is a risky method, but it works 90% of the time. Tell the guy directly that it’s time to go to the registry office and have more children. You will live as a large family, with your grandmother, mother, father, sisters and brothers in a 2-room apartment. The future husband is obliged to do everything around the house, tenderly kiss his mother-in-law in the mornings and evenings, and take care of his sick grandfather. If the picture turns out bright, the lover will disappear forever.
- Hysterical
Throw hysterics, make a scandal for no reason, speak rudely to him, track his appearances online on VK, write nasty things to his friends. A difficult character will be the reason for a sad SMS from a guy saying that you cannot continue communication.
- I have a lot of problems, let's solve them
“I need money, a lot of it now, I’ll come to your city, but I won’t be able to work - I’m lazy, at the same time I’ll take my mom and dad, they’re retired anyway. We’re leaving tomorrow, will you meet me?” Most guys respond to such SMS by blocking the girl’s account or completely ignoring her. If he almost agrees, but delays the moment of help, you need to write this: “I need a real man, not a rag. Goodbye!".
- I'm pregnant from my ex, now you'll be our dad
Joyfully write a huge text that you met him on time, together you will overcome all difficulties with your baby. Surely the correspondence will end there.
Important! When sending a guy to four directions in a joking manner, do not use ambiguous hints. Delete phrases similar to flirting and emoticons from messages.
How to correctly refuse a friend or acquaintance who has fallen in love
The guy needs to make it clear that a romantic relationship between you is impossible. To maintain friendly communication at the same time, you should use the following strategies.
Make him believe you're not right for him
The guy needs to be convinced that you are completely unsuitable for each other. The following recommendations will help with this:
- remember what things irritate him and constantly do them in front of him;
- write a list of the fan’s interests and, during conversations, provide critical feedback on each item written down;
- without ceasing to convince him that nothing will work out for you.
Find him another girl
A difficult method, but if successful, it will allow you to maintain the same relationship with your friend. To find a replacement, you need to understand what exactly attracts a guy to women. Having dealt with this, all that remains is to find a lonely girl of the right type in the circle of relatives and friends and arrange their “casual” meeting.
If you managed to match friends, in the future you don’t need to constantly get involved in other people’s relationships, so as not to become the “culprit” of an unsuccessful romance.
Confess your love for someone else
A good friend will not be able to lie about a non-existent boyfriend or husband and children, but he can confess his love for another. For him to believe this, he should:
- show him photos of your lover on your phone;
- often talk about your “beloved” and plans to win his heart;
- Spend more time with your lover in front of your unwanted suitor.
This strategy will be more successful if you find a man to play the role of a lover who agrees to play along a little and explain to the “competitor” that he has no chance.
Making excuses for lack of time
You can politely ignore the guy, citing a lack of time due to school or other matters. If he offers to go for a walk once, you need to clearly refuse and explain that there is no time for dates. Needless to say, we can go to the cinema someday. This way he will get false hope and will wait for an answer.
If the guy understands your strategy and triples the showdown with the phrases “Why are you lying to me! I know that you don’t have time just for me!”, there is only one option left - to send him straight away.
Confidential conversation
Having decided not to play around and honestly admit to a guy that you have no romantic feelings towards him, you should use the following tips:
- Get alone . For a heart-to-heart conversation, you need to choose a convenient place with a minimum number of strangers and especially mutual friends. You can invite a guy for a walk or drink coffee in a calm coffee shop.
- Be specific but polite . You need to speak seriously and confidently, so as not to create the impression of flirtation or frivolity. There may be notes of sadness and warmth in the voice so as not to offend the guy.
- Make a compliment . You can start the conversation with a little praise. You shouldn’t praise him as a man, but just give a couple of compliments that he’s a good friend and fun to talk to.
- Get to the point of the conversation . The most important part of the meeting, for which you need to prepare the correct wording. The refusal should be clear, but not offensive and not hurt male pride. What phrases you can use to turn a friend away, and which ones you can’t, are given in the table:
| Acceptable | Unacceptable |
| We are not right for each other. | You don't suit me as my possible boyfriend. |
| I have feelings for another man, and I intend to achieve him. | Our relationship is impossible because you are not smart enough, you earn little, you are outwardly unattractive, etc. |
| I already have a young man, and everything is serious with us. | We're better off staying friends. |
Hard options
No matter how the relationship develops, it is worth trying to part ways peacefully. The use of harsh methods can come back to haunt you in the future, because different situations are possible in life. Many years later, the girl may need the help of a young man and then she may have to regret the past. If a guy stubbornly refuses to part with the lady of his heart, he should take tough measures. Those who don’t know how to properly turn off an annoying guy should try the following methods:
- Make fun of him in front of his friends.
- Tell strangers some intimate information about him.
- Ask friends for help.
- Start dating someone else.
- Threaten to report to the police.
Making fun of an annoying admirer gives a good result. You can make a guy laugh gently, then the relationship will remain at the level of friendship. If you make fun of him harshly, even to the point of organizing bullying (if possible), then you should forget about possible communication.
READ Effective methods to make an annoying guy leave you on his own
By telling something personal about a young man, you can quickly get rid of his feelings and acquire an enemy. To do this, it is enough to tell the world about such things as his virility or behavior after taking large doses of alcohol. His memories can also be included here, because men are very sensitive to stories about childhood problems.
The young man's conversation with other guys works very harshly. As a rule, a girl’s friends have a conversation on the topic: “Why are you following her? Don't you see she doesn't need you? Leave me alone, I say, otherwise I’ll deal with you myself.” After such conversations, a man offended to the core stops all attempts to create a relationship.
There are very few men who are ready to accept a girl after a relationship with another boy. As a rule, having met a friend once with a new boyfriend, guys completely lose interest in her.
The threat of going to the police will allow the man to be sent away forever. Even betrayal is not perceived so painfully by guys.
The use of such methods is highly undesirable and can only be used if all other methods have failed.
How to get rid of an annoying boyfriend
If a guy doesn’t give way and doesn’t understand a polite refusal, he can be kicked off in harsher ways.
Complete ignoring
This strategy requires compliance with two rules:
- clearly say “no” once under any pretext (not ready for a relationship, I love someone else, I’m in a hurry to meet, etc.);
- imagine complete loneliness - reading, listening to music, talking on the phone or doing other things, not paying any attention to the guy and not reacting to his words.
Ignoring an annoying boyfriend, you should not look him in the face, answer his questions or make any contact.
Scandal girl
This principle is the opposite of the ignoring strategy and involves complete concentration on the stick. You need to constantly demand something from him, throw tantrums and be jealous.
In order to deliberately quarrel, you can come to the meeting earlier and create a scandal due to his lateness. If a fan forgot flowers, you should directly reproach him or say that “queens are not greeted like that.” Afterwards you have to be indignant at everything that happens - bad coffee, bad restaurant, boring movie, etc.
Having secured the image of a demanding brawler, you can be sure that the guy himself will refuse such a relationship.
Materialist
If a guy doesn't show generosity, the best way to turn him off is to become a materialist for him. The following recommendations will help with this:
- order the most expensive dishes in restaurants;
- hint at the need for urgent repairs in the apartment;
- talk about the illness of a grandmother who needs expensive care;
- complain about a small salary and hint at looking for a rich suitor;
- make plans for an expensive wedding and honeymoon in the Maldives;
- talk about a husband who must buy a beauty salon and finance plastic surgery to correct his appearance.
Girlfriend "911"
You need to ask your girlfriend to start actively writing love messages during the date. Another trick is to register her contact in the phone in advance under a man’s name, next to which put a heart.
From the constant messages and your satisfied expression on your face while answering them, the guy himself will understand that nothing will happen to him. If he begins to express dissatisfaction, he can only confess his love for another.
Cramming
Before a date, you need to carefully study your boyfriend’s pages on social networks to find out his political views, preferences in music, cinema, etc. When you come to a meeting, you need to constantly interrupt him and say things that do not coincide with his position, and end each sentence with a quote from Internet.
If the guy is not an intellectual, you should also show maximum pedantry and hang on to his every word, correcting his mistakes. To completely ruin the evening, you can periodically repeat “But my ex said..., and he was absolutely right.”
Even the most persistent boyfriend will not tolerate stupidity and constant comparison with his ex.
Dirty
To turn a guy away from you, you need to show up on a date with a chipped manicure, dirty clothes and a slight smell of sweat. If the meeting takes place in a cafe, you can sip and drink, making different sounds.
To finally “finish off” him, all that remains is to speak out for support of everything natural and against cosmetic procedures such as depilation of armpits, legs and more.
How to send a guy off via text or text
Refusal via the Internet may offend a man, but it will save time and nerves. To do everything right, you should use one of these strategies:
- Long refusal . You need to pretend to be a busy person, without answering him for a long time (a lot of work, family, various incidents in life). Over time, the guy gets tired of this, and he stops pestering. If he understands that these are excuses, all that remains is to have a confidential conversation with him.
- Quick refusal . While maintaining civility and politeness of communication, you need to quickly and clearly refuse the guy by writing a short message with the following text: I am not in the mood for meetings and relationships. Sorry.
- I already have a boyfriend, and I don’t want to continue our communication.
- I figured myself out and realized that I didn’t need a relationship.
- You are a very good guy and will soon find your soulmate. I'm not interested in a relationship, sorry.
If after refusing via SMS the guy continues to bother you, all you have to do is block his number and completely ignore him in life.
How to properly send off your ex
If your ex has returned and wants to renew the relationship, you should not give in to emotions and start a scandal. It is important to keep your cool and express your refusal without airing your dirty laundry. This can be done in two ways:
- Via SMS . If you still have feelings for a guy, it’s better not to date him, but to write a short message with a similar text: Sorry, but this relationship is no longer interesting to me. Please don't bother me anymore, otherwise I will block your contact.
- Do not write me anymore. I have a boyfriend and we love each other.
- Politely turn him away with the words “I’m glad to see you, but I’ve put an end to our relationship and am no longer interested in it. Now I love someone else and plan to create a strong family with him.”
Psychology of breaking up relationships
For a young man, a refusal received from a woman can become a painful blow to his pride, so he is able to begin to pursue the girl in the hope of achieving reciprocity. In an effort to return everything to normal, men often end up with scandals and threats.
READ Effective methods to make an annoying guy leave you on his own
The situation when a girl rejects a guy is perceived very painfully by many men, while the departure of a lover is considered commonplace. To avoid the constant presence of your ex in your life, you can arrange things so that he leaves his girlfriend first.
How to gently tell the guy you're dating off
To turn your boyfriend off, you will have to have a serious conversation with him and choose the appropriate wording. Here are the options:
- My tastes and needs are constantly changing, but I see that you do not change, you stand in one place. Therefore, we will not be able to develop together as a couple, and we need to separate.
- Let's take a time out and sort out our feelings. Now it’s difficult for me to understand what I want and whether I’m ready to continue maintaining this relationship.
- I am grateful to you for all our wonderful moments and remember only the good things. But now I no longer feel the same way as before, and it’s better for us to leave. Please leave gracefully and live happily.
- My “rose-colored glasses” have fallen off, and I can no longer and do not want to ignore the obvious shortcomings. I've made my final decision and you won't change it. I'm leaving you and I'm no longer interested in communicating with you. Goodbye.
When breaking up with a guy, you don't need to feel guilty or show pity. You need to speak with confidence and calmness in your voice.
Common mistakes when refusing a guy
Psychologists note that when refusing a guy, girls make a number of classic mistakes:
- Lack of specifics . To maintain a warm relationship, girls speak politely and sympathetically, but the guy takes these as abstract hints and continues to court.
- Controversial behavior . You can’t blow a guy off and then 5 minutes later wink and smile at him. This makes him understand that the refusal is just a farce.
- Pulling back the moment . Phrases such as “I don’t have time right now” temporarily relieve unnecessary attention, but only complicate a serious conversation that hangs like a gray cloud.
- Rudeness and insults . If the boyfriend does not understand politeness, you can become harsh, but this will only worsen the relationship, which will be impossible to improve during further interaction, for example, at work.
There are many ways to refuse a guy. Having chosen the appropriate option, you need to prepare well and follow your plan. If a guy doesn’t understand well, all he can do is take the help of a friend or even a policeman.
We analyze non-standard situations
Unforeseen events often occur in the lives of girls. Some of them are associated with men who begin to glow with feelings at the wrong time. Let's figure out how to tell a guy off so that he doesn't get offended in unusual situations.
How to beautifully leave an acquaintance on the street
You are walking, thinking about your own things, and then a smiling guy appears, wanting to meet you immediately. You have no time for this at all, because a hungry cat or husband is waiting at home. What to do in this situation:
- Notify the man that you are extremely busy: “Sorry, I have absolutely no time to listen to you, I’ll go.”
- Say that you don't meet people on the streets.
- If that doesn’t help, bring in the heavy artillery: “Maybe you could get to know my boxer husband better?”
If the guy is adequate, he will quickly realize that you are not his destiny and will go in search of a new victim. Try not to be rude, as you do not know the adequacy of the man you meet. The problems of a lonely wandering girl are completely unnecessary.
