How to become the main one in a relationship with a girl and a leader in the family?


Psychology » Masculinity

October 1, 2019MasculinityPusha Ko02k.

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“There are no good men now!”, “There are only women around” - I hear such statements almost every day. Those who say this forget that “a man is the head, and a woman is the neck.”

Women themselves create all the conditions for a man to be purposeful or, conversely, unsure of himself - that’s how the game will play out.

Often you, a woman, kill those crumbs of self-confidence that he still has left - with reproaches and comments.

A girl’s task is to help a man gain self-confidence. Not to force, but to help. How to do this is in the article.

  • What does self-doubt mean?
  • It's all about self-esteem!
  • Are all roles in the relationship correctly distributed?
  • Have it my way?
  • So, is it impossible to make a man be confident?
  • psiho-logika.com has an article that you need to read! Choose and read!

Tip #1. 100% faith in yourself

Self-confidence begins, first of all, with inner faith in yourself!

If you yourself do not evoke this feeling in yourself, if you yourself do not believe in yourself (although who else if not you?), then how are you going to become a truly confident person? This is where it all begins.

Conclusion: Confidence begins with inner faith in yourself. Believe in yourself!

In everything, no matter what you do, no matter what you say, no matter how you act, you are doomed to success.

If you program yourself to have negative thoughts, nothing will work out for you. If you think that you are a loser and nothing will work out for you, then that’s exactly what will happen.

It all starts with the thoughts in our head (inside us), so keep an eye on them!

“How to believe in yourself”, “Change your thinking and you will change your life”, “The key to success.”

Tip #2. Don't complain or whine...

Never, under any circumstances.

Life is a pain, I was born in the wrong country, my girlfriend left me/cheated on me, my salary means nothing, how can I live at all, a lot of problems, why do I need all this, I’m fat, I’m shabby, I have no money, I have nothing, no car, no apartment/house, no girlfriend, etc. and so on.

This is not masculine behavior! Complaining, whining, etc. is weakness, a manifestation of insecurity.

All this needs to be eradicated, weeded out, cut down - instantly in the bud.

Otherwise, all this whining, complaints and other negativity, negative thoughts will depress you, drive you into depression, thereby making you an insecure person!

Conclusion: confident people never complain or whine.

Yes, believe me, I understand perfectly well what really difficult life situations there are. But this is life! Do you understand? That's life! We all have difficulties, problems, failures, failures, stress, mistakes, etc. etc., without this there is no way.

But you must always move forward. No matter how difficult it is, just move forward.

You have to forget about complaining/whining, etc., you just need to move forward, take it and do it while others whine/complain. This is the position of strong, confident, successful individuals.

No matter how difficult, difficult, or bad it is, you must not give up under any circumstances. You need to look for a way out, solve a problem, a way, take it and do it, this is the position of real strong and confident men.

If you whine, cry, and complain about everything, you will remain in one place without changes.

If this has already happened, get out of this hole! After all, if you move forward, despite everything, you will begin to really value yourself, you will become a strong, successful, and, of course, self-confident person.

Tip #3. Don't dwell on failures and the past.

As I already said, we all have difficulties, problems, failures, failures, stress, jambs, etc.

However, there is no need to dwell on this. Only forward and nothing more. Remember?

The more you live in the past, the more opportunities you lose in the future.

Never reproach (criticize) yourself for anything. Don't get hung up.

Draw appropriate conclusions (learn the lesson(s)) and take them into account in the future.

This is the position of strong, confident, successful individuals.

Moreover, don't be afraid to endure and fail (or fail) at anything.

All these failures are an invaluable experience that develops you and makes you stronger and better.

Tip #4. Don't compare yourself to other people!

Never, under any circumstances.

This is harmful because... lowers self-esteem.

The fact is that no person will compare himself to someone who is worse than him!

And in life there will always be someone who will be better than you in this or that or in everything.

This is where negative thoughts and envy begin. Alya, he is better than me, he has a better car, a cooler apartment, a more beautiful girl, dresses better, everything is better for him...

As a result, self-esteem falls, something is wrong with me, I’m somehow different, I’m no better, I’m worse, ahhh, as a result, internal insecurity arises.

Nip any negative thoughts in the bud.

So what? Realistically, so what if someone is better? Doesn't it matter?

You are an individual, you have your own life! So live your life. Look after yourself and be yourself and never compare yourself to other people because there is no point in that.

Be sure to check out my main article: “How to start respecting yourself.”

How to stop being overwhelmed and become decisive?

Try a few effective tips for yourself:

  • Stop fussing - get away from situations in which you are forced to rush and create fuss around you. Develop stress resistance. Be sure to rest on time, give yourself an hour of complete relaxation at least once a day, disconnect from negative thoughts and take care of yourself.
  • Organize yourself – keep a diary, be aware of your own affairs, manage your time wisely. You should always know what time, where to be and how to do it. Only losers let things take their course. Think ahead and be prepared that something may not go according to plan; have the ability to quickly adjust your plans - this is the norm. This should not scare you or throw you off balance. Better analyze situations, think through possible outcomes in order to always stay on top, act clearly and emerge victorious. Thus, you practically eliminate the possibility of undermining your plans and spirit.

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  • Set yourself achievable goals —the ability to complete your tasks will help you on your way to gaining confidence. Let them be simple or a little more complex, the main thing is that they should be achievable. For example: cook a new dish, master snowboarding, sign up for some sports section, etc. Be sure to reward yourself for any achievement, no matter how small. This is all the foundation for building a complete individual.

Expert opinion
Victor Brenz

Psychologist and self-development expert

How does a person become more confident? What helps him to be bolder and more confident? Desire, development and self-realization. Invite your loved ones, let them celebrate your victories out loud, this will provoke you not to stop at the results achieved, and your loved ones will love you even more for your perseverance and courage.

Practical advice

  • Realize yourself in sports . Buy a gym membership, set a specific goal, for example, to achieve results within such and such time. And achieve! The main thing is to stop being ashamed of yourself, your body, the fact that you don’t know how to do something yet - this is all fixable. There are people who have contraindications to playing sports, then find yourself in a career or business, perhaps a hobby will help you reach incredible heights. With the advent of victories, with the acquisition of any skills, life will become joyful, the level of love and self-respect will increase, and accordingly the degree of self-esteem will also increase.
  • Never compare yourself to someone more successful , strong or beautiful. Of course, there is always someone better, but there are always those who are worse. The best thing for you is to compare yourself. What it was before and what it is now. By working on yourself, you will find several pleasant differences and you will want more, which is very good for your self-esteem.
  • There is no need to blame yourself and blame yourself for something - you will not achieve high results and will not find the motives to love yourself if you constantly reproach and humiliate yourself. Don’t even tell yourself that something is wrong with you. Whatever it concerns. Comments like these take you away from success.
  • Accept praise and agree with it - mostly insecure men do not know how to respond adequately to this. Know your worth. If someone liked something about you and said something about it, you must agree, do not devalue your positive aspects and virtues. Thank and smile - people will like it, they should understand that you know what you are for, why they respect you
  • Read, listen to audio books and audio trainings , videos and other information that are designed to increase self-esteem. All this material that you receive will be remembered in any case, at least individual elements will certainly affect the subconscious, and in the future, behavior.
  • Stop communicating with unsuccessful people, eternal complainers - join successful, positive people. If you are in an environment that can suppress your emotional and moral state, you will never become a successful and positive person.
  • Record your achievements and victories - just keep a diary in which you will observe your own positive results, this will delight and inspire you. Read about your victories and you will want more.

Do you consider yourself a real man?

Not really

  • Find your strengths and talents - they exist in every person. Try writing your advantages on a piece of paper. Write as much as possible about your strengths and focus on this, this will give you the opportunity to be proud of yourself for real things, and failures and uncertainty will fade into the background.
  • Find something you like and spend time on it . You will not be able to have positive feelings about something that does not attract you. Just as it is completely impossible to love yourself because you don’t know where to go and what to do. Idleness is a reason to be ashamed of yourself. And vice versa, self-esteem will go up if you do something that realizes and develops you. This will help you feel satisfied with life.
  • Decide everything yourself, manage your life as you see fit . Don't wait for anyone to approve your decision, even if they are the closest people. Follow your dreams, not other people's prejudices. Live your life, otherwise you will not become brave and confident.

Important! Becoming a confident person means not thinking about failures. Forget about them. This means focusing only on positive thoughts and praising yourself for even just thinking about being a better person. And then work on yourself.

Simple techniques to increase self-esteem

The most popular techniques:

  • Find a reason to praise and thank yourself - you make the right decisions, say good words - celebrate all this, even if it is a small thing for you. When cleaning the apartment, working with your child, walking the dog, cooking - praise yourself. Tell yourself: “I am a good person,” “I have many virtues,” “I am worthy of respect.”
  • Understand that there is no ideal person in the world, and you are no exception . There is no need to reproach yourself for this, this is normal. Just work on yourself. Take a piece of paper, write down the shortcomings that prevent you from living a normal life and think about how to deal with them, write on paper, re-read and conquer your weaknesses. This is a direct path to determination and courage, to confidence and a prosperous life.
  • Find your hobby - it will distract you from negativity . Think about what you liked as a child, maybe it’s time to do something that once brought you pleasure. And don’t be afraid to try and make mistakes, it helps you find your true purpose and realizes a person.

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Trainings and courses

Nowadays there are a huge number of all kinds of courses, trainings, seminars, programs to increase the level of self-esteem and self-confidence; you just need to open the Internet and any information on this matter will be available to you. There are paid programs, but you can find several free, high-quality and good videos that will also help you find yourself and become bolder.

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Tip #5. Don't criticize yourself and other people.

This is the position of weak, insecure individuals.

Self-criticism contributes to the formation of a negative perception of oneself!

When you say something (bad about yourself) = you program yourself to do it.

As I said earlier, we made a mistake, mistakes, messed up, drew appropriate conclusions (learn the lesson(s)) and take them into account in the future, period.

You need to move forward and only forward, no matter what.

Here, study the main article on the question: “Mistakes and failures in life.”

Criticism of other people contributes to the formation of an insecure and complex person. Don’t waste your strength, your energy, your time on this, there’s no point in it.

Focus on yourself. For your own purposes. And just move forward.

All this is the position of confident, strong, successful individuals. And be sure to study these articles: “Attitude towards criticism” and “How to respond to insults, negativity, provocations.”

Mistakes men make in relationships

Losing a dominant position is not a process of one day or even a month. Slugs gradually become insecure and submissive. The very first partner instantly realizes who is next to her, turning on her incomparable feminine intuition. Try to yell loudly, stick out your muscles and suck in your stomach, and in a relationship with a weak-willed guy, she will always do so in order to be on top. When trying to suddenly take over the helm, you need to try to avoid making the main mistakes in relationships:

  1. Reluctance to listen to the girl.
  2. Unconstructive destructive criticism.
  3. Displaying unreasonable rudeness and anger.
  4. The desire to establish totalitarian control through direct despotism without the slightest regard for the interests of the partner.
  5. Game of silence and reluctance to share experiences.
  6. The attitude towards the girl is purely consumerist, as if towards an unfulfilled thing.
  7. Reluctance to understand the intricacies of female psychology.

Mistakes men make in relationships

Tip #6. Look after yourself and don't be a pushover.

Start doing things that help you develop a certain lifestyle. Those. do those things that will increase your self-esteem and, as a result, self-confidence.

  • Start going to the gym or take up some other sport.
  • Eat well, dress well, take care of yourself, your appearance, your body, and take care of your hygiene.
  • In general, develop yourself, read books, articles, literature, improve yourself.
  • Create yourself varied hobbies and so on by analogy

All this will help you love yourself, value yourself, gain self-respect, and of course, confidence.

About clothes, by the way, if you know that you are well, beautifully and expensively dressed, then your self-esteem increases, you feel and behave completely differently.

If you eat well, take care of yourself, your appearance, develop, etc. and so on. then you love yourself and treat yourself with respect. You know your worth!

Be sure to read this article: “How and why to invest in yourself.”

About goals, by the way, set goals for yourself!!

When you achieve what you want, your self-esteem will skyrocket, rest assured.

Confidence is based on the feeling of victory. When you win (achieve your goal, your goals, desires, etc.) you become more and more confident in yourself.

With every victory you respect yourself more and more, because you set goals for yourself and you achieve them, therefore you are cool. To put it simply

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