Almost every woman once wonders how to manipulate a man, and this happens due to various circumstances. Often the reason for this desire is dissatisfaction with the development of relationships or a desire to change something in them. In fact, it is not as difficult as many may think, and after reading our article, you can see for yourself.
Psychological methods of manipulating a man
Let's consider several psychological methods that allow you to manipulate a man:
Avoid imperative intonations and sentences
Do you want a man to obey your wishes? Don't force him to do anything! Avoid the imperative, otherwise the man, feeling that they are trying to control him, will begin to resist. It is a rare man who will tolerate an attack on his own freedom. Alternative: request-question.
For example, you want to clean your apartment. Don't say, "Dust and vacuum." Instead, it's better to say: "I'm going to clean up the mess, could you help me a little?"
Rhetoric can also help. Example: you need to pick up your child from the sports section. Don’t say: “Come pick up your son after work.” Instead, say: “Tomorrow I will have to stay late at work, I don’t even know what to do with my son’s sports section.”
Look for an alternative
Finding an alternative often helps to manipulate a man. Example: Your spouse is going to spend the evening at a bar with friends, but you don’t like it. Forget about prohibitions in an alternative form. You should consider another leisure option. This could be a movie screening that he has been planning to go to for a long time or a promising evening. Think over your choice - the alternative should be really interesting for the chosen one.
Instilling a solution
If you want your beloved to come to the “right” decision, inspire it in him. For example, he planned a fishing trip this coming weekend. You don’t want this, but persuasion to give up the idea will lead to resistance. Act differently: show him the untimeliness of this decision. Say that the weather is expected to deteriorate sharply next weekend. You can come up with another argument: you are offered free tickets to a cool match, and “it’s such a pity that you won’t be able to go.” It will be easier to manipulate a man if someone else provides the necessary arguments.
Stop male manipulation attempts
Dear ladies, do not forget that you are not the only one who strives to learn how to manage your partner. For his part, he makes retaliatory moves and is not averse to pulling the puppeteer’s invisible strings.
Are you not happy about the prospect of spending your free time on laundry, cleaning and activities with children, while watching your chosen one relax in front of the TV? Unfortunately, male psychology is characterized by the desire to limit oneself from boring household duties. Let's reveal a few typical tricks that you need to learn how to competently resist.
"Hands are in the wrong place"
A favorite male trick is to do housework “carelessly.” When asked to wash dishes, drive a nail, etc., they enthusiastically get to work. The result is a broken service, a broken finger with a hammer and loud regrets that again nothing works out. As a result, the work has to be redone, and even to console the hapless master. A similar situation is repeated over and over again until you decide that it’s easier to do everything yourself. This is exactly what the man wanted.
What to do? Learn to create conditions where an incompetent assistant will have to redo the work himself. For example, as if by chance, put an unwashed device in front of him, noticing that it was his fault, and ask him to wash it again.
How to manipulate a man with words
Women who know how to manipulate a man know that words have a special influence. How to use it?
During live communication
Live communication, unlike correspondence, allows you to influence a man using intonation. The first thing you need to do is practice by making a voice recorder. “Play” with your intonations, try to find the softest, calmest and most convincing timbre. Your voice should sound clear and pleasant.
What to pay additional attention to
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- Make sure that the tempo of your speech does not diverge from the tempo of the interlocutor’s speech.
- Lowering the timbre of the voice indicates significant interest in the interlocutor. Do you want to convince him of your words? Lower your voice and speak softly and slowly.
- To manipulate a man, you need to be able to demonstrate weakness using questioning intonations. If weakness looks natural, it will force the chosen one to act.
- Forget about raised voices and shrill intonations. This causes internal panic in a man. A high-pitched voice usually causes irritation and discomfort in the interlocutor - in this case, it is not easy to manipulate a man.
During correspondence
So, what words will help you manipulate a man when texting? Find common interests - if they exist, you will subconsciously achieve more trust on his part.
If possible, it is better to prepare for the conversation, taking into account the interests of the man. By talking with him on a topic that interests him, you will probably be able to win his favor.
Topics about childhood and school can be called a good way of manipulation. Immersed in such conversations, the interlocutor becomes relaxed and susceptible to influence.
Any topic that evokes warm emotions in a man is suitable for correspondence. Subsequently, this feeling of warmth will be associated with you, and it will be easier for you to use the manipulation.
Basic rules of manipulation
Manipulation is a multifaceted, complex process. Women have been learning the art of managing men since ancient times. The main thing is to remember some rules so that your influence on a man bears fruit and does not ruin your relationship.
- Manipulation should appear in your life from time to time, and not become the basis of your relationship. The main thing is to sometimes push a man in the right direction, and the reins of power should always remain in his strong male hands.
- Manipulation should be based on respect for the partner and care for him. You should not act to the detriment of the man’s interests and not overdo it, so as not to turn him into a submissive slave, unable to take a step without you.
- With the help of manipulation, you can influence only the person who is interested in you. Having made certain conclusions for himself, he will behave completely differently in the future. If he is not interested in you, manipulation will not help here.
- The most important rule of manipulation is that your interlocutor does not suspect that you are manipulating him.
Examples of manipulative words and phrases
About love
No matter how trite, the words “I love you” are truly powerful. Moreover, it is not just their pronunciation that is meant - they must sound in a certain context.
The most common example: “I love you more than anyone in the world, do something for me.” In many cases, this scheme actually works. It is important to remember that if you want to manipulate a man, do not use this phrase too often. It evokes a sense of duty in a man, and if he often has to feel like a “debtor,” this will result in irritation.
Arouse pity
Many girls are afraid of looking pathetic, but in this case we are talking about something else. Throw away these stereotypes that you have to be strong - leave this role to the man, use weakness.
Example: “I’m so tired today, have pity on me, please cook me dinner,” “How can you do this, knowing what I had to go through before.” Such phrases carry out manipulation and pressure for pity. Remember: this manipulation, like any other, cannot be used too often. If you constantly press for pity, you will face irritation. The man will begin to feel that you want to deceive him, so moderation is important.
Accusations
Typically, the method is used when there is an unconscious desire to protect oneself. This often happens during quarrels.
A simple example: “I sacrifice so much for you, do so much for the relationship, and you do this to me?” Such statements provoke feelings of guilt. Manipulation is very effective, but in rare cases.
How to control a man without him understanding it
To manipulate a man, you need to have endurance and some kind of talent. He must not understand that manipulation is taking place.
Important Tips
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Watch your speech
Avoid using the expressions “you have to”, “I can’t”. Other taboos: generalizations like “nobody”, “everyone”, “never”. Words to use: “possibly”, “possible”. Example: “Perhaps you can help me with the cleaning today?” Remember the golden rule of three yeses. How does it work? If you use three questions, and the first two of them assume an affirmative answer, then the third question will probably answer yes.
“Choice without choice” works well. Example: you know for sure that he doesn’t want to go anywhere in the evening. However, agreement is more realistic if options are offered: “Let’s decide, should we go to the cinema or to the cafe today?”
Display his gestures
A very well-known rule that not everyone manages to apply quietly and naturally. Try to adopt a posture similar to that of your interlocutor. pay attention to gestures: stroking hands, touching hair, etc. This will help form an invisible connection, and the interlocutor will be more susceptible to suggestion.
Remember eye contact
It is easier to manipulate a man if you know about this trick. Learn to use a long, calm gaze directly into the eyes. This will show your interest, which will help in the matter. If you don’t want to speak in your interest even with your gaze, simply use an attentive and concentrated gaze, remembering to pause every 8-12 seconds.
Touch
Women often underestimate the benefits of touch. However, psychologists say that every person needs it. There is even an exact number: 8 touches per day. Thanks to them, the so-called “anchors” are installed. Example: you remind your chosen one of how wonderful the recent concert was, while stroking his hand. Subsequently, such stroking will be associated with pleasant emotions. When you want to suggest some words to your beloved man, use this touch - this will give you a greater chance of consent. Before this, the method needs to be “trained” on several positive emotions.
Mystery and intrigue
Everyone has heard words about mystery women, mysterious strangers, and so on. What are the first associations? Intrigue, something magnetic and interesting, something striking the imagination - this is what the mystery woman is associated with. A person who can intrigue a man will be able to subjugate him. Great way to manipulate.
How exactly to use mystery to achieve your goals. Do not try to tell as much as possible about yourself: it is advisable to hide some information. Manipulation is difficult to use for those who like to talk, but those who want to become a mysterious woman will have to moderate their ardor and remain silent more often. Learn to communicate with hints and create intrigue. The measure is important: you definitely shouldn’t remain silent like a partisan. Consider a thought before voicing it. Don't immerse yourself completely: there is a risk of going unnoticed.
Mystery is good in moderation. When there is too much of it, it is not beneficial - you may be considered strange. Forget about being too frank in conversations with a man if you are at the dating stage. This deliberate honesty is especially inappropriate where it is better to remain silent for now. Example: you broke up with a man because of your own infidelity, you grew up in a dysfunctional family, and so on. Save such revelations for closer acquaintance.
At first, a little understatement is very useful. Do not neglect the typically feminine flirtatious formulation: “maybe”, “perhaps” - words that give a man hope for reciprocity, but deprive him of firm confidence. Example: a man for whom you have long felt strong sympathy suddenly began to show interest. This is not a reason to instantly confess your strong feelings to him in the first conversation.
Be discreet
It is easier for reserved women to manipulate men – both when living together and at the dating stage. You will keep your chosen one in a somewhat “suspended state”, then it will be easier to influence him. Don't overdo it or drag your feet on this.
Examples of evasive words at the beginning of an acquaintance: “I haven’t fully understood my own feelings”, “I’m not sure if I can meet you next week, let’s discuss this a little later.” This way you will make a man think about himself, and he will be more susceptible to influence.
Are you convinced that you have no mystery or mystery? Use your imagination. Remember a sad story from your life and present it correctly. Mention (without details!) that you have experienced a difficult story in your life that makes you wary of men. This will certainly interest a man: he will be interested in conquering such a cautious and distrustful woman.
The rule of the way to a man's heart
In recent years, women have become more skeptical about this rule - and in vain! A person with basic physical needs satisfied will be much more willing to comply. Satisfying hunger is one of these important needs. Experienced wives know well that it is better not to approach their husband with requests if he is hungry. Do you want to ask him for a new dress, an unplanned trip? Cook your spouse's favorite dish and start a conversation at the end of the meal. Your husband's satiety will increase his chances of getting what he wants.
Have a request for a colleague or boss? Do not approach them before lunch break - you risk only causing irritation. A man who has had lunch is more accommodating - wait until he has a bite to eat and only then voice your wish.
The method is considered a successful and simple manipulation - you simply select the right time for the request. After eating, a person is usually relaxed and easier to persuade.
Praise and compliments
Men are called the strong half of humanity, but this does not prevent them from being dependent on other people's words. They want positive evaluation of their activities. It is believed that women “love with their ears,” but men also love compliments.
Experienced manipulators successfully use these weapons. Even if the compliments are a little embellished and biased, use them! Their power is enormous.
A man should not doubt the objectivity of a compliment. It’s easier to come up with a compliment for a woman: praise her taste, choice of dress, hairstyle, hair color, blooming appearance. It is not so easy for a man to express a compliment; they often imagine a catch - they suspect others of flattery and cajolery. Praising a man requires careful consideration. A compliment expected by a man will work.
Example: he attached a shelf. Be sure to praise him, at least subconsciously he counts on kind words. Talk not only about what a great guy he is - mention how convenient this shelf provides you, how glad you are that it appeared, and how you can’t imagine how you managed without it before.
Why is praise so important? The first reason is that it is a great impetus for further action. Having received praise for even a small favor, your chosen one or any other man will be more willing to fulfill your requests in the future. Give compliments not for a specific action, but for what it brings. Example: he nailed a nail and you hung a picture. Your words: “Thanks to you, it has become so cozy here, my mood has been so lifted.”
The art of being a woman
Since nature has prepared for you the role of Eve’s daughter, it’s worth playing this role to the fullest. Remember, your main trump card is that you are a woman, and most bosses, colleagues, teachers and other significant people in our world belong to the opposite sex. It would be a sin not to take advantage of such luck to learn how to manage a man.
Subconsciously, a man gives you an appraising glance, even if the relationship does not involve intimate continuation. To achieve protection and leniency, try to awaken natural instincts in your counterpart, which will temporarily cloud sound logic and a cold mind.
It is worth preparing for the seduction maneuver in advance. When going to a meeting with a man you are interested in, dress more revealingly than usual. The main secret is not to overdo it. Hints that awaken a man's imagination are preferable to a vulgar miniskirt or deep neckline. Don't try to demonstrate all the charms you have. A casually undone top button of a blouse or a slit in the skirt that slightly reveals a lace stocking will work much better.
If the object of interest is not higher than you in status, for example, a colleague or friend, learn the method of tactile influence. Approving pats on the shoulder and strokes on the arm will create a field of friendly comfort when it becomes simply inconvenient to refuse your request.
However, be careful not to violate the personal space of a person in a higher position: a boss or a teacher. Such touching may be perceived as disrespect and insubordination.
If you failed to achieve what you wanted on the first try, the mantra of “the most charming and attractive” needs to be strengthened with additional secrets of manipulation.
Which men are manipulable and which are not and how to determine this
Almost all men are susceptible to manipulation. This is determined in advance when assessing the personality type.
Traditional type
Let's look at its special characteristics. Typically, such people are traditional in everything, they work five days a week, periodically visit cinemas and cafes, and value comfort, stability, and security. Logic is often used. It is not difficult to manipulate a type by addressing its basic needs. Compliments, the mentioned “path through the stomach” rule, the promise of some comfort, and so on will do.
Depressive type
It is obvious from the name that it refers to people who are usually in a depressed state of stress. The right hemisphere of the brain is responsible for their actions. This refers to dreamy people who are suggestible. Usually these are creative people who are very easy to hurt. How to manipulate them? Almost always they suffer - they need pity and sympathy. This is a method of manipulation. People of the depressed type are insecure - they can be manipulated with praise and compliments. They need it, they are drawn to it.
Boolean type
The type in which the left hemisphere is dominant. They are usually reserved, well-mannered, and often based on logic. They give the impression of sensible people who love clarity, clear facts and specifics. Men of this type are susceptible to many manipulations. They want to look “correct”, noble, and they can play on this. Pressure is placed on the sense of duty, justice, morality, dignity, and conscience.
Primitive type
It is unlikely that you will want to influence this type, but it is not excluded. We are usually talking about rather undemanding, primitive men. These could be people from dysfunctional families or simply about people with a minimum of interests. Their needs are simple: sleep, food, sexual intercourse, simple pleasures. This is what you can manipulate: providing these basic needs.
What are the benefits and harms of manipulation?
The word “manipulation” itself usually implies a negative connotation. Many identify it with deception, cunning, and self-interest. The issue requires more careful consideration. Manipulation can have a positive or negative effect on people’s relationships - this is determined by its primary goals. So, which manipulation is called useful and which is harmful?
Useful manipulations
They can also be called inspiration. Manipulations that help elevate a man in your eyes, earn more, be more successful in reality and in the eyes of others. What's wrong if manipulation helps to fairly divide household chores? Is this wrong? Useful manipulations are those that help improve your standard of living, mood, and protect you from real problems.
Harmful manipulations
There are a lot of them. If manipulation humiliates a man physically or mentally, then it is negative. An attempt to influence for the sake of the well-being of another man is negative manipulation. This also includes actions that worsen a man’s life, make him poorer, and destroy relationships.
When is it justified to manipulate a man?
To answer this question, a definition must be given. Manipulation is a psychological technique that forces another person to obey your desires, even if they do not correspond to his needs and interests. Manipulation “forces” a person to want something he didn’t want.
Manipulation often arises not because of selfish motives, but because of the fear of asking directly. Not every woman considers this acceptable: admitting a need, showing that she needs help. The possibility of refusal, the need to somehow “pay” for your request are also frightening. It is the reluctance to voice a direct request that forces a person to use manipulation - innocent and rather arrogant.
It is common to use manipulation in cases where a simple request does not evoke the proper response from a man. This leads to "workarounds" - the woman begins to look for a softer workaround.
From a psychological point of view, manipulation does not carry anything negative for mental health if it is innocent and in one way or another benefits the man who is subjected to it. A simple example: you ask your idle husband to help you cook dinner. Result: the two of you get a delicious dish, have a good evening, and the mood in the family is positive. Another positive manipulation: your husband is invited to a bar by a dysfunctional friend who does not know limits when it comes to alcohol and prefers dangerous entertainment. You invite your husband to spend the evening in a cafe with other friends. Undoubtedly, this manipulation is for the benefit of the man.
NLP techniques
Effective NLP techniques in communicating with a man will help you learn to communicate with representatives of the stronger sex, meet your love and build a happy relationship.
Adjusting for your other half
This is one of the most popular and easy NLP methods that helps to establish contact and make a first impression. It consists in completely adopting a man’s behavior (gestures, facial expressions, manner of communication, timbre of voice). Your behavior should be as natural as possible.
Use the influence you gain. How your counterpart will behave depends on the tone of communication that you set. Smiling and joking will put him in a positive mood. If you are serious, then he will adhere to this manner of behavior. Try to find out what your subject of dreams is interested in and loves. If you share his interests with him, this will help to generate reciprocal sympathy.
Sometimes this technique is supplemented with positive reinforcement. This is a manipulative method of neurolinguistic programming, which consists in encouraging a certain behavior of a partner. To get the desired reaction from your other half, you can use a smile, praise or approval. Finding himself in a similar situation again, your behavior will help the man understand how to behave.
Anchoring
This NLP technique for happy love is very effective. Its meaning is to hook a partner with the help of happy emotions, experiences and feelings that he once experienced. These can be memories from distant childhood or joyful moments taken from past relationships. By recreating these experiences and making the object of your affection experience pleasant feelings again, you will achieve special intimacy between you.
NLP without complexes invites women to take everything into their own hands and do the anchoring themselves.
- Wait until your man is relaxed and ask about the most significant positive events in his past. These can be memories associated with various holidays, childhood experiences, and travel. Clarify how he felt, who was next to him at this happy moment.
- Touch your partner gently as the conversation reaches its climax. This action will strengthen and consolidate the positive emotions that he re-experiences thanks to you.
- Complete the anchoring process, change the topic of your communication.
It’s easy to check whether the technique works on your partner. Casually repeat the code movement and touch your loved one again. If you did everything without mistakes, then his mood will instantly change in a positive direction, the man will begin to smile and joke.
Joining and Mirroring
The art of seduction in NLP is to completely adapt to the behavior of the object of desire. Each person has his own methods of understanding the world around him. Some perceive information through visual images, others through sounds, and there are those who perceive reality through feelings.
Visuals are distinguished by the fact that they prefer to conduct a dialogue, communicating face-to-face with a person. Their catchphrases are: “I see”, “In my opinion”, “Look at the situation.” Auditory learners are very sociable, they love to chat and know how to listen. When retelling any events, they copy the behavior and voice of other people. Their most common expressions are: “Let’s talk,” “Are you listening to me?”, “I told you so!” Kinesthetic people are extremely emotional. They strive for constant contact, trying to hug, kiss, shake hands. Key words for such people: “I feel”, “Hot communication!”, “I feel with my skin!”.
To retain attention and seduce, determine what type the object of your desires is, and then begin to use key phrases for him during communication.
