Why girls don't pay attention to me: 7 main male problems

Untidy appearance

Appearance is a matter of taste, but everyone without exception pays attention to neatness and a sense of style . If a man always wears wrinkled trousers, washes his hair once a week and at 30 still has skin problems, then not every girl will dare to see through all this the rich inner world.

Which style to choose is up to you. At the moment, the most universal clothing style that almost all girls, without exception, like is the casual style. You can read about what this style is and how to choose the right clothes to match it in our article.

The main thing is to avoid bad taste . Here are some tips that will definitely help you not to lose face:

• Clothes are too bright. You should not wear clothes in very bright, acidic colors that will “harm the eyes” of others. This may impress some, but for most people such a wardrobe has a repulsive effect.
• Shades of grey. You should not go to the other extreme and wear only clothes in various shades of gray and black. Simply no one will notice you.
• Right size. Learn to choose clothes according to size. Here are some useful tips: the shoulder seam of any outerwear should lie exactly on the shoulder, a shirt or T-shirt should reach the length exactly to the middle of the fly, jeans should be chosen taking into account the fact that they will stretch when worn.
• Mixing styles. You cannot wear sweatpants with dress shoes or formal trousers with sneakers. This simply kills attention from the weaker sex.
• Sandals. Sandals (and any other shoes with holes) should be worn without socks on bare feet.
• Color combinations. Combining colors in clothes is a real art, and you need to learn it.
• Imitation. No money for an expensive stylist. Just take as an example another person (friend/acquaintance/famous actor/politician) who dresses stylishly and learn from his example.

Don't forget to shower regularly, wash your hair, trim your nails, take care of your skin, and clean your shoes.

Reasons for failure

Anyone who wonders why girls pay absolutely no attention to me should take an impartial look at themselves from the outside.

Main reasons for failure:

• excessive complaisance;
• limited finances;
• lack of initiative;
• sloppiness;
• lack of good manners;
• diffidence;
• limited thinking;
• excessive self-confidence.

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Excessive agreeableness

A guy who wants to find out why girls don't pay the slightest attention to me must analyze his character. Maybe he is too soft and flexible. Such a young man is more likely than others to end up in the friend zone. Even if a man listens carefully to a girl, asks her sympathetic questions, and accompanies her on shopping trips, she will only see him as a friend.

This happens because the young lady simply does not notice the man in such a guy. She sees only a reliable “girlfriend in pants” who is ready to listen to her tearful monologues on the phone, even if the clock shows 3 am.

Limited finances

Men are contemptuous of women who attach importance to material wealth. This is a fundamentally wrong approach. Of course, there are materialistic girls for whom the status of a man is of paramount importance. But many women are simply practical. They are not a product that can be chosen. Girls are also in search, looking for potential husbands, fathers of the family.

Everyone has temporary difficulties. But if a guy constantly borrows money from friends, lives from paycheck to paycheck, or shamelessly asks his parents for help, then he shouldn’t expect success with women.

Lack of initiative

The exact description for a guy with no initiative is “none.” At the same time, he may have interesting external characteristics. The girl forgets the name of such a man as soon as he disappears from her field of vision, and he then complains that he likes the girl, but she is indifferent to me.

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The portrait of a lacking initiative guy is painted in neutral colors: he is neither good nor bad, moderately diligent and friendly. There is no spark in him, he is like everyone else.

Sometimes such a person succumbs to the influence of others. He can also abandon his own principles and radically change his life attitudes.

A person without initiative lives by the principle “He who is lucky, gets loaded.” If a guy knows that the girl will take care of everything herself, he will not bother himself once again. Young ladies are irritated by this type.

Sloppy appearance

If girls do not pay such desired attention, then the guy needs to evaluate his appearance as critically as possible. Women, like men, evaluate appearance first. The first thing that catches your eye is the clothes. There is nothing wrong with dressing not in fashion boutiques, but in the market. The most important thing is that clothes should be clean and fresh. This requirement also applies to shoes. Women are disgusted with men who wear dirty sneakers and shoes.

Ladies also react to smell. If a man smells like sweat, he will be rejected. The same applies to bad breath.

Strong and vulgar odors also irritate women, especially if they are combined with sloppy clothes, unkempt skin, greasy hair and week-old stubble.

Lack of good manners

If a girl doesn't pay attention to you, it's time to observe your behavior from the outside. Most women try to avoid loud-voiced and noisy men. They don't like guys who swear. Young men who stoop to bazaar swearing in the presence of women can only count on sympathetic contempt.

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Girls don't like men with camel syndrome. They don't like guys who throw cigarette butts out the window and put empty beer bottles next to the trash can. Men who do not know that women need to be let in first and hold the door for them do not evoke warm feelings.

Diffidence

Shy and complex young people complain: I like a girl, but she doesn’t pay the slightest attention to me. Women do not take them seriously, and sometimes they are simply afraid, since there is no guarantee that a relationship with a weak man will not turn into an abusive relationship.

The main signs of self-doubt:

• passion for alcohol;
• a tendency to fantasize (such a man likes to talk about his plans, but never puts them into practice);
• statement (the guy often falls under the influence of parents or friends);
• fear of responsibility;
• jealousy;
• boasting.

Limited thinking

Some men, when the response to their SMS is silence, complain: I like the girl, but she ignores me. The point here may be that the young man is an uninteresting interlocutor. Women try to avoid communicating with those who adhere to the principle “There are two opinions - mine and the wrong one.”

Girls are amused by young people who, being amateurs, categorically argue on topics that they have no understanding of at all. They aggressively defend their right to personal opinion, while trying to take it away from others.

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Overconfidence

Women don't like men who are too assertive and overly self-confident. Firstly, such a person looks in their eyes as an egoist who sees only his own “I”. He can easily invade personal space, insult and humiliate his interlocutor.

Secondly, fear and self-doubt always hide behind the mask of self-confidence. Such a man is very susceptible and vulnerable. Thanks to this mask, he tries to protect himself from the world around him, which seems hostile to him.

An overly self-confident person rarely achieves great heights in life. Girls don’t like Khlestakovism; they need worthy men for serious relationships.

Diffidence

A gaze lowered to the floor, a stooped posture and a fear of looking people in the eyes turn a person into invisible. If a man wants attention, all he has to do is raise his head and straighten his shoulders.

Pay more attention to your strengths . Ask your friends what qualities and skills they value in you. Think about this when you walk down the street - and you will begin to notice the looks of passing girls on you.

Here's what's important to understand :

• Build confidence. Self-confidence doesn't come naturally. Self-confidence is the result of long-term work on oneself. It grows with every new achievement in any area of ​​life that is important to you. Set ambitious goals for yourself, achieve them, work on yourself - this is the only way.
• Show confidence. Until you feel confident inside, at least act like a confident man. Straighten your shoulders, watch your posture, look people in the eyes. This will help you achieve success faster.

Do you want to learn how to meet girls and feel easy and relaxed? Here's a great article by one of our regular contributors, in which he talked about his personal experiences with dating and communicating with girls. He will tell you where and from whom you can learn to seduce girls, how to avoid common mistakes, what to pay attention to, what to do if you have no money.

Which guys are popular with girls?

Each woman has her own criteria. Some people like men who are breadwinners. It is not necessary to have a high salary - the girl just needs to know that she is dating a promising young man, so she is not in danger of starvation.

Other young ladies prefer creative guys. Such guys may not have an apartment or a car, but their chosen ones are interested, happy and comfortable with them.

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There is another category of women - those who love to suffer. They like either men who are cold and emotionless, or those who can be pitied.

But in general, every guy who wants to understand why a girl is not paying attention to me at all should find out if he has the following qualities:

• charm;
• wit;
• inner strength;
• reliability;
• good manners.

External data certainly matters too. A guy who wants to please his chosen one must take care of his skin, the condition of his teeth and hair.

Narrow outlook

A man can be very smart and educated, but understand literally two or three areas. Such a person cannot maintain a conversation on abstract topics, and after an unsuccessful attempt at a date, he will probably be called either a bore or a closed type.

To broaden your horizons, you can:

1. Watch films of different genres and on different topics. The website kinopoisk.ru can help in this regard. Even if you don't like movies, you will probably find something worthwhile there. Try to watch at least 1 popular movie once a week. If you don't like movies, give preference to Oscar nominees. These films are well made and raise important issues.
2. Read more books. A man who reads is akin to a strange creature, which already attracts women. There is no topic in the world that is not touched upon in books. Read encyclopedias and fiction. If you didn’t read something from the program at school, now is the time to do it - values ​​change with age, and what seemed boring in childhood may now be very enjoyable.
3. Travel more and learn about the city in which you live. If you can't afford to fly abroad every weekend, then start in and around your hometown. Every region of Russia has a lot of interesting places with a rich history. And in many cities they open new exhibition halls, bring interesting entertainment and hold various festivals.
4. Be around people more. Go to trainings, sign up for courses, attend concerts, go to bars with friends... Firstly, this is time spent usefully and away from the computer, and secondly, it is an opportunity to meet new people and make acquaintances, including among girls.

But with all this, there is one important rule : do not pretend to be another person. If you don’t like science fiction at all, then you shouldn’t overpower yourself and watch the film through “I can’t.” Just try new things a little at a time and don’t give up on any ideas in advance.

Even a negative experience enriches you and over time can become a great story to share with a new friend.

Why can a girl become cold?

Representatives of the stronger sex are tormented by the question: what to do if a girl has lost interest in a guy? But at the first stage of the relationship, they are not interested in why her feelings may fade away

. However, if you anticipate this in advance, you can avoid many problems.

So, let's look at the main points why a girl can become cold:

• Her life was no longer varied;
• She stops feeling needed by him;
• There is no warmth or romance in her life;
• She does not see him as a “reliable shoulder”;
• There are no prospects for her in the form of starting a family.

Relationship

- This is a kind of fire that must be maintained by two people at the same time. If at least one of them stops supplementing it with flammable elements, then it will gradually begin to fade and will soon go out.

Overconfidence

As a rule, this quality appears in those who were popular at school due to their appearance, in children of wealthy parents, and in graduates of various pickup schools. Girls feel this and often prefer not to get involved in advance. Such men have the feeling that they are owed everything.

If you approach girls on the street every day with the clear conviction that with one offer they will provide you with a phone number, then it is no wonder that the answer will be a refusal.

There is a big difference between confidence and overconfidence. And if a confident person evokes admiration, then a self-confident person is more likely to be pitied.

What to do if a girl has lost interest in you?

When a girl stops behaving as before, the man does nothing. He believes: she is capricious, she is depressed and she will cope with the problems herself. This is an obvious mistake that makes the situation worse.

If she started acting strange, that means the first step towards breaking up

already done to her. During this period, it is necessary to surround her with care, the relationship should become the same as it was in the first month of dating: warm, colorful and interesting.

If it seems to you that the relationship has outlived its usefulness and there is no point in continuing it, then it is recommended to have a heart-to-heart talk. Such a conversation will allow you to identify obvious mistakes in relationships, correct them and draw conclusions.

Bad manners

Good manners disappear over the years, and women begin to appreciate even such simple things. If a man helps a girl with heavy bags, holds the door for her, or helps her get off the bus, then at a minimum he will be rewarded with a sweet smile, and at most with a phone number and a subsequent date (with proper initiative on the part of the man).

But manners in this case also apply to other things - do not talk loudly on the phone in public places, swear or slurp loudly during lunch, etc.

You can learn more about modern etiquette from the famous publicist in this area, Ivan Artsishevsky, on his blog.

What girls expect from sex

Girls expect romance and tenderness from a man. They often compare themselves with the romantic image of the heroine of a romance novel or film. The beautiful eroticism that appears in the female imagination with long caresses in an exotic setting is more characteristic of youth. However, she is often limited to only kisses and touches. When communicating, you need to take this fact into account.

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The psychological aspect of sexual relations is important for a woman. A special emotional connection arises with a partner whom she completely trusts. Insignificant, in the opinion of men, details of the situation or behavior of a partner are important for girls, as they contribute to internal comfort.

Passivity

If a man himself does not make the first step, then he may never know how girls feel about him. In our society it is still accepted that the first step must come from the guy. Many people still don’t have a partner because they are afraid to approach and meet.

To get female attention, you need to look away from the gadget screen and try to start a conversation yourself. If you are an interesting conversationalist (see point 3), and the girl is free, then it is unlikely that she will refuse to at least just chat.

You shouldn’t pester a stranger walking down the street, but if you’re passing the time in line at the dentist or walked up to the coffee machine in the office and met your colleague, then a couple of phrases on your part could well be the beginning of an interesting acquaintance.

Common male mistakes

Refusal of intimacy on the part of a girl can be caused by improper behavior of a man. Main mistakes:

1. Short foreplay or no foreplay.
2. Ignorance of partner's preferences, ignoring hints.
3. Wrong intensity of sex.
4. Loss of self-control.
5. Disdainful attitude.

After a loving contact, attentive attitude is also important for girls, so after mutual satisfaction, you should spend a little time on gentle kisses and hugs, which become the final stage of the intimacy process.

By changes in her behavior and other signs, you can easily determine the reason why she is withdrawing. For women, sex is an important part of a harmonious love relationship that should not be underestimated.

Excessive softness

This problem applies to those guys who always find themselves in the “friend zone”. A man can be sensitive, attentive and romantic, but a woman will treat such a person as a friend. If you are ready to spend hours shopping with a girl, are able to listen to her talk about nothing and from time to time accompany her to the cinema or theater, then she will probably prefer you to someone who pays little attention to her.

There is nothing wrong with sensitivity and attentiveness, but in the eyes of a woman and those around her, a man must remain a man. Let him show these qualities in relation to his beloved girl when the relationship has already begun.

You will learn a lot more interesting things about what irritates women most about men from Elena Ustinova:

If you are seriously concerned that girls do not notice you, relate yourself to the above. Of course, all women have different tastes, but these 7 things are what are the main problems men don't pay attention to. If you want to get more information on a topic, then do not resort to the help of other men. Of course, if someone has a lot of experience, he will be able to share the most accurate information, but only women themselves will tell you best about their preferences.

What do women's excuses mean?

To understand the reasons why a woman avoids sex, we can start from the popular “excuses” used by the fair sex:

1. "I have a headache".
2. "I'm tired".
3. “I just came from the gym.”
4. "I'm not in the mood."
5. "No time".
6. "I watch TV series".
7. “They will hear us.”

By these words, a woman can mean either poor health or fatigue, or a lack of proper hygienic preparation for intercourse. She is also capable of demonstrating resentment towards her partner in this way.

Reasons for a woman's refusal to have sex

If we are talking about the first stages of a budding relationship, then at the very beginning the girl does not want to rush, to seem easily accessible to a man. In addition, she may not trust the guy, suspecting that his intentions are not serious. Therefore, the reasons why a woman may demonstrate that she does not want a man may be circumstances that are quite objective from her point of view. In such a situation, a man should not rush his chosen one. If you really like a woman, you need to show the seriousness of your intentions through courtship that reflects the depth of feelings.

READ Why a wife does not want intimacy with her husband: reasons and advice

Other grounds for refusal may include psychological, physiological or situational factors, often interrelated. For example, a girl experienced discomfort or pain during her first sexual experience due to hormonal disorders in the body. As a result, she developed an inferiority complex.

Fear of nudity2

Despite the sexual liberation of our time, girls suffering from certain intimate complexes are not at all uncommon. One of them does not allow them to appear naked in front of their partner. There is a paradox here - she wants sex with a man, but does not want to undress in front of him. In this case, the guy has an easier time - night, the lights are off (in extreme cases, a broken light bulb) and the lady is in bed.

Sometimes it's even more banal. So, in most cases, a woman who did not expect unexpected intimacy and simply did not have time to restore order in the bikini area and destroy excess vegetation will refuse. Everything here is completely simple. You just need to give your partner a free bath and time to carry out the procedure.

The fear of being naked in front of a man can also be caused by other “cockroaches” having fun in the head of a female representative. And, if a relationship is really important for a man and is not a momentary attraction, he will certainly find an approach to the girl and help her get rid of this complex.

Advice from psychologists

A decrease in potency in a woman is often psychological in nature. Problems in relationships with a partner in 80% of cases negatively affect sex life. In this situation, a frank conversation will help, the purpose of which is to eliminate suspicions, omissions, and grievances.

A psychologist or family therapist can help with the question of what to do when a girl is not ready to share her experiences. However, a physiological or pathological decrease in libido can be determined by collecting a detailed history by a sexologist.

You really don't look good.

Take another look at yourself, and take a closer look. Not only psychologically, but also physically.

It is advisable to go to the mirror and undress to the waist. Rate how sexy you look. Give yourself a rating from one to five.

Are you the owner of an athletic figure, do you have symmetrical facial features, a fashionable hairstyle? If not, then it's time to work on your appearance.

After all, girls also love with their eyes. Get yourself in order and you will see how your life will change for the better.

Men demand too much from women.

Probably every person has a friend who greatly overestimates himself. He's the best, period.

This is what prevents selfish people from finding their soulmate. Such guys sincerely believe that his woman has not yet been born.

They place too high demands on their future soulmate, and this is what pushes girls away.