As you know, swear words are considered to be verbal aggression, and its danger is not immediately noticed. Like all bad habits, the tendency to use foul language develops quickly and requires effort to get rid of it. At first, you may not even notice that you practically cannot do without obscene language. If you realize that such a problem exists and don’t know how to stop swearing, study simple recommendations.
How to quickly stop swearing
The use of profanity usually occurs for a specific reason and, as a result, reduces the level of speech culture; speech causes painful emotions among interlocutors. A subconsciously swearing person who uses obscene words with or without reason evokes the idea that he has difficulties with vocabulary and generally creates a negative impression. People who realize the scale of this problem can rarely get rid of it immediately.
What to do
- Seek help from the person most often nearby. If he notices swearing on your part, let him ask you to stop swearing.
- Avoid provoking situations at least for the first time. Remember the situations after which factors you come to the conclusion that it’s time to stop swearing. Options: watching shows or sports, traffic jams, communicating with an unpleasant person, long lines. If possible, eliminate this factor, and the fight will be more effective.
- Get a special piggy bank, and if it is difficult for you to stop swearing right away, then you will at least save a certain amount. After each obscene word, put a small amount in the piggy bank.
- Put a special rubber band on your hand and snap this “bracelet” on your wrist after each swear word. Swearing will begin to be associated with pain, and this will make it easier to stop swearing.
- Do not listen to songs or watch films with an abundance of swear words - many obscene expressions are taken from there.
- Usually the strongest emotions are expressed using obscenities. Look for analogues of swear words - the Russian language is rich, and they make it easy to find replacements.
Understand yourself
Simple methods don't help, but are you determined to stop swearing? Start introspecting. Determine the exact reason for this habit. Perhaps it’s a matter of complexes that make you worry about little things.
People who swear unconsciously try to portray themselves in a darker light by swearing, due to a hidden feeling of guilt. Use a trick that is easy to use and very effective. Think about a person you respect who was surprised and upset by swearing. One of your relatives, a colleague, a boss, a teacher – there are a lot of options! Imagine that he (she) hears everything and forms a certain opinion. With a good imagination, the negative habit will quickly disappear.
What is swearing
Swearing, or verbal invective, is a sharp verbal attack on someone. Words and expressions of this kind exist in every language, but regardless of culture, there are more negative statements than positive ones. Swearing often expresses contempt, disapproval, and anger. There is nothing special about this: the human psyche tends to notice negative aspects and is more willing to give a negative assessment. For some reason, we are not used to talking about good things. Let's remember any book of reviews: people express dissatisfaction with particular pleasure, and take excellent service for granted and for granted.
Swearing is the crudest form of swearing, existing in any nation, but prohibited in any civilized society. Why is it still alive if it is banned (by the way, it cannot be eradicated)? It is a product of oral speech and cultural heritage (sounds funny). Swear words are not recorded in literary dictionaries, are not pronounced in public, and are not used in the press. At least that's how it should be, according to society's norms. In practice, the swearing itself has not caused outrage for a long time; it is rather special cases that are surprising.
The origin of the swear word is not known exactly, but the borrowing theory has long been refuted. It is recognized that Russian swearing is one of a kind from a linguistic point of view and an echo of primitive instincts from a socio-psychological point of view. A swear word in humans can be compared to a grin or a fighting stance in animals. Why does a Russian person need swear words?
How to stop swearing at a girl in a week
Very rare people may like swearing girls. Do you understand this and want to stop swearing quickly?
Learn some helpful tips:
- Find a calming hobby. Cross-stitching, drawing, tailoring and other handicrafts will help you forget, take your mind off troubles, and reduce the level of aggression.
- Attend performances, performances by your favorite bands, and exhibitions more often to improve your mood. Do you prefer active recreation? Ride a bike, skate, ski.
- Chat with your friends, tell them about your experiences - this will help throw out the negativity. Combine a meeting with a friend with shopping – another well-known “female” medicine.
- If you want to stop swearing faster, read more. This useful hobby will significantly increase your usual vocabulary.
- Start counting the swear words spoken during the day, and try to reduce them to a minimum every day.
- Communicate on the Internet, make new acquaintances. In front of unfamiliar people, we try to show ourselves in a better light and control ourselves more productively.
- Read poems from your favorite classics. Sometimes repeat the memorized lines mentally - this will distract you and gradually wean you from foul language.
Do they have the right to be?
However, the expressions offered in return, even as a joke, do not at all convey the expression with which swear words are sounded. And, naturally, they do not penetrate the soul of the person for whom they are intended, and do not achieve the goal. It turns out that there is some benefit from swear words?
Military historians made an interesting conclusion when analyzing the events of World War II: the Japanese often lost battles to the Americans only because they were slower to give commands, and therefore to make decisions. This was because in Japanese the length of a word on average is 10.8 characters, while in Americans it is 5.2.
In Russian, the average word length is 7.2 words, but in critical situations no one gives commands, for example, as follows: “I order the 15th to immediately open fire on the enemy tank on the right, which is firing at our positions!” Artillerymen, and not only others, switch to profanity, replacing an entire phrase with one word, and reducing words to 3.2 characters. As a result, the above phrase sounds like this: “15th, f... on this x... on the right!” And the outcome of a battle often depends on the speed of issuing an order.
Psychologists also say that one should not be so categorical about swearing and consider people who resort to it as vulgar. True, they make a reservation that profanity must be used correctly, wisely , and then words called swear words can even be useful.
In addition, they came to the conclusion that lovers of strong words are not necessarily narrow-minded people who seek to humiliate and insult someone. And even vice versa: people who use profanity are honest, emotional, expressive and have high verbal intelligence . This is according to scientists from the USA, Great Britain, China and the Netherlands, who, in the course of joint research, interviewed almost 300 volunteers and analyzed notes and comments from users of social networks, in particular Facebook.
One of the researchers even stated that the more prone a person is to using foul language, the higher the level of his verbal intelligence: since he uses taboo words fluently and understands how and when to use them, it means that he handles the words of others in the same way. categories. With his research, he refutes the idea that swearing is used by people with a poor vocabulary.
In addition, observations of the behavior of volunteers showed that swear words uttered at critical moments increase the level of adrenaline in the blood, raise the pain threshold and dull fear .
Thus, it was concluded that the use of obscene words where appropriate should be considered not a deviation, but a norm, which means there is no point in banning them.
“To succeed in life, it’s better not to swear,” noted some folk poet.
And at the same time, there is an opposite opinion: swearing humiliates and insults others. It testifies to the low personal culture of the foul-mouthed person. Swear words are charged with negativity, which spreads to all people forced to listen to it.
Since a person lives in society, he needs to take into account those who surround him. And if swearing hurts their ears, then they need to get rid of the habit of expressing their emotions using swear words.
It is also not acceptable when communicating with children: they quickly adopt bad habits. At first, some parents are touched by a child who, lisping, repeats a “bad” word, then they are surprised where he picked up such a thing, then they are indignant and forbid it, forgetting that most often they themselves are the “teachers”.
How not to swear as a teenager - advice from a psychologist
It is no easier for a teenager to stop swearing than for an adult. It is important to understand where it all started. It is unfortunate that teens who swear often pick up this habit from their parents or other loved ones. Do you suspect that this is about you? This means that the problem must be solved comprehensively.
Teenagers begin to resort to swear words, trying to appear more serious and mature in the eyes of their peers. Have you noticed that your teenager is using foul language? The problem needs to be resolved immediately. It is possible that you will have to visit a child psychologist, and he will help find out the reason for the changes in the behavior of the boy and girl.
You can independently find out with whom the child communicates, and, having learned that there are people around who negatively influence your son or daughter, protect him (her) from such company.
Sometimes a preventative conversation is enough for a teenager to stop swearing. Explain that usually only ill-educated people, from the lower strata of society, or simply “rednecks” use foul language. As a result, a person is attracted to a rather dubious environment.
Introduce a system of punishments and rewards - this is usually the most understandable method for children. If a teenager swears, limit him to his favorite activities (TV, Internet) or pocket money for two or three days. Refraining from swearing is rewarded with a trip to a pizzeria, a movie, or another “bonus” that is interesting to the teenager. You can combine methods: act not only with reward or punishment, but with both. Punish for swearing and reward for its absence.
Enroll him in a useful section - wrestling, photography, swimming, and so on. Passionate people have little time to adopt negative habits.
If you have a trusting relationship, you can convince your son or daughter to stop swearing without additional conditions. Help him find new idols or ideals in the person of famous athletes, scientists, young inventors, with whom abuse will be incompatible.
An excellent option would be the martial arts section, which has fairly strict rules. Look for a place and a coach who can become an authority for a teenager. Give your child good books, watch films with your family without swearing about purposeful young people.
Law against swearing
Swear words are unusually tenacious, like cockroaches, the unsuccessful fight against which lasts for millennia. Despite drastic measures aimed at combating them, their use has not decreased.
On July 1, 2014, a law came into force in Russia that prohibited the use of profanity in public places, in particular on television and radio, during the public performance of works of art and in film distribution. This process is controlled by Rospotrebnadzor, which imposes fines on offenders - both ordinary citizens and officials and legal entities.
But, as you know, it is the forbidden fruit that is sweet. “When something is prohibited, you want it even more,” “... the temptation is stronger, the stricter the ban,” wrote the classics. So it is unlikely that the amendments to the law “On the State Language”, designed to protect the population from swearing, will play a significant, or even any, role in the fight against foul language. Unless they will allow some replenishment of the treasury through fines.
The jokers proposed their own version of combating profanity, namely: replacing swear words and expressions with cultural ones that carry exactly the same semantic load.
Effective methods of dealing with profanity
Previously noted: you will finally give up bad language by understanding yourself and determining why you get angry and do not hold back over small things. Foul language leaves a negative impression of a person, and having a good education, wealth, etc. will not smooth out the negative impression. People around you will notice your positive sides faster in the absence of abuse. Try to stop swearing to be sure.
Positive thinking
Learn positive thinking. Stop worrying about the little things, and the urge to use obscene expressions will decrease. More often, swearing is used to convey strong negative emotions, and if you avoid them, then it will be easier to stop swearing. Do you realize that negative thoughts are overwhelming? Mentally slow down, think about something good, find the positive aspects in the current situation. Often we are talking about some little things that do not deserve not only swear words, but also attention.
Loyalty
Show loyalty to yourself, be patient - it will lead to success. Have you heard about a guy or girl who cleared their speech of obscenities in a week? Cases are different, do not reproach yourself if you discover the presence of swearing in your speech two weeks after the start of training. In any case, there is a result, even if it is not obvious. A habit that has been formed over the years will not disappear easily.
Change of environment, hobbies
When thinking about how to stop swearing, figure out the triggering factors. Does your close social circle affect your speech? Are you trying to look more significant, mature, and status-worthy with swear words? Using obscene phrases did not make anyone more respectable, so give up this idea. Avoid digs where they often swear and make no attempt to end it. Take up healthy hobbies - boxing, swimming, running.
Refusal of unpleasant things
If possible, avoid anything that provokes a negative reaction. Unloved business, unpleasant people, imposed unpleasant responsibilities, etc. Think about what irritates you most in life, and try to give it up or change your attitude.
"Useful" punishment
Come up with a unique punishment and apply it by using a swear word. Using swearing in your speech, do ten squats and push-ups. You won’t be able to put an end to swearing, but you will improve your physical fitness.
Novel
Free people, without family or relationships, are recommended to meet the opposite sex. In the initial stages of an affair, people try to impress a potential partner and control their speech. No less an incentive can be the “other half” present in your life - she will probably be pleased to see changes in your speech. If your partner also suffers from a similar problem, become an example.
Why do people use foul language?
Mastering swearing probably begins in childhood. For children, this is a sign of adulthood. Due to mental characteristics and personal immaturity, children choose the simplest path - imitation. And if for young children this is a way of adaptation, of entering the world, then teenagers regard this as “coolness,” maturity, authority, and courage.
Why, having matured, do not all people stop swearing or try to do it not everywhere and not always:
Secondly, according to scientific research, swearing acts as a pain reliever due to the production of joy hormones - endorphins (additional reinforcement).
The researchers came to another interesting conclusion: when swearing, the one who swears produces testosterone, and the one in whose direction the swearing is facing, testosterone decreases. Thus, scolding is a way of suppressing an opponent. It is worth noting that the method may be effective, but it is not social, inferior, primitive. There are many more correct ways to show and earn authority.
Thus, it can be argued that swearing is a trait of insecure people. It is they who choose such forms of self-affirmation (“Swearing is prohibited, but I, so brave, bold and dangerous, swear”). “I don’t care who thinks what. This is my challenge to society,” thinks the inveterate swearer.
All people are familiar with swearing. Those who do not swear restrain themselves. In what situations is it especially difficult to restrain yourself, when you can hear swearing from the calmest and most cultured person? In a state of fear, danger, anger, risk, affect, extreme irritation and indignation. Back to uncertainty again. Remember: swearing is always perceived as aggression. “The best defense is an attack,” says worldly wisdom.
However, there are people who literally use obscenities. Here, I think, it is more correct to talk about lack of culture or a specific perception of the world and the vision of a certain charm, charisma, and acuity of speech in swearing. Yes, for some people it is part of the image. What’s interesting is that the environment itself cannot perceive them differently. But even the image has its deep roots.
How to get rid of the habit of swearing
If you have already tried a lot, but there is no result, then try these effective methods.
Words that replace swearing
The method is reduced to a general change in the manner of speech. Determine which situations cannot do without swearing, and replace them with analogues that are suitable in meaning, but sound decent. The process will be easier when selecting consonant words - similar in sound or starting with the same letter as the usual swear word. At first it will seem stupid and pointless, but the method will play its role, and it will be easier to stop swearing. Gradually, you will completely abandon the negative habit.
Think about the consequences
By starting to use swear words, we do ourselves a disservice. The skill of correctly constructing sentences is lost, expressive words are forgotten, and effective oratorical techniques come to naught. It begins to seem, why explain your thoughts in ornate phrases, if it is enough to express emotions with two or three curse words.
It’s a bad sign if you swear more often than say such phrases: “How is this possible, Marya Ivanovna? Haven't you even started the report yet? I’m perplexed,” or “What a splendor it is all around!” or “This tea is too hot, I almost burned myself.” The first thing that comes to mind are obscene analogues that do not disturb the sleeping brain and do not force it to work? Gradually, your vocabulary will be completely depleted, and it will become increasingly difficult for you not only to stop swearing, but also to simply express yourself in ordinary Russian, avoiding the annoying mooing of different tones.
Control yourself
Set a timer that will sound every hour. When you hear its sound, analyze the elapsed time to determine whether you adhered to the established goal and did not use swearing. Gradually you will “snatch” it from speech without waiting for the timer reminder.
Remember that you are an example. The habit of swearing is not only disgusting, but also contagious. You won’t notice how people close to you stop restraining themselves, and the worst thing is when it comes to children imitating adults.
Exceptions
Swearing looks impressive in the mouths of people who never swear. These must be exceptional situations and not everyday ones. Even the most reserved people can express the emotion of fear, pain, shock in this way. Therefore, do not reproach yourself by cursing in your hearts. Your goal is to keep everyday speech under control. Think over a system of rewards and punishments for yourself, but do not deviate from the path you have started - the result will be clear and competent speech that subconsciously evokes the respect of others. Scientists assure that most habits can be broken in 21 days, unless we are talking about a long-term habit that has become “ingrained.” But even in this case it will take a little longer. The main thing is to start!
Why does a person start swearing?
Lack of vocabulary results in people not knowing how to express their thoughts. But this is not a reason for foul language, but only results in tongue-tiedness and inexpressiveness of speech.
Those who are prone to swearing have objective reasons for expressing themselves this way, including:
- Spilling out emotions. Swear words spoken with expression can convey a huge emotional spectrum. In this case, their use does not depend on the level of intelligence.
- Need for protection. In stressful situations, a person becomes vulnerable and a self-defense mechanism is activated. Swearing shows that he has crossed the line and is capable of going further in violating social rules and norms.
- Self-affirmation. Lack of self-confidence leads to the need to assert yourself at the expense of others. This leads to uttering offensive or threatening phrases.
- Imitation of children and adolescents by others. In an effort to look like adults and increase their popularity, they repeat a lot after authoritative adults and friends.
- Dominating the conversation. Often, debaters switch to obscene speech when their arguments dry up, but the desire to assert that they are right remains. Moreover, some people simply do not perceive otherwise, and do not seem to hear persuasion.
- The desire not to stand out. When friends, acquaintances and relatives use obscenities, this is accepted as the norm and gradually becomes a habit.
Powerful words and strengths
The findings of experimental scientists also shake the ground under the belief that foul-mouthed people are unpleasant people: a person who uses curse words in his speech is liked more by his listeners. If anything, it seems more convincing and inspires more trust.
An interesting experiment was conducted by psychologists from Northern Illinois University. Almost a hundred students were shown the same speech, although in one version the speaker behaved decently, in the other two he used abusive language. This did not affect the authority of the speaker in any way, but the video where the guy used obscene language impressed the audience more - this time. The second interesting discovery: the listeners were more inspired by his idea (it was about reducing tuition fees).
That is, if you insert a couple of sharp words into your speech at a HOA meeting, you can sound somehow more significant, more authoritative.
That someone might deliberately use profanity to make an impression is nothing new. Looking at Donald Trump, you understand that his political strategy could not do without this. Emma Byrne, an English researcher in the field of artificial intelligence, writes about this in the book “Swearing is Good: The Amazing Science of Cursing.” She draws a line between planned and rehearsed swearing, as they say, on camera, and spontaneous swearing, which sounds at the moment when we, sitting with friends, suddenly remember that yesterday there was a deadline. A phenomenon that would surprise your grandmother: someone uses derogatory words specifically to please her. For example, the expression “fuck” came out of Trump’s mouth for a reason—it’s part of a thoughtful rhetorical strategy.
The researcher notes that the words we say during friendly gatherings - especially when our favorite football team misses a goal - to some extent create a pleasant, sincere atmosphere. She believes strong language helps us build trust and create a sense of camaraderie. Byrne cites studies conducted in Australia and New Zealand.
Those guys who exchange strong phrases in the office reported that they trust each other more.
It works like this: when we decide to share with someone a word that is replaced with the sound “peep” in morning programs, we walk on the edge. That is, with our heads we understand that we are about to blurt out something quite shocking. But at the same time, we have reason to believe that the recipient will not faint or slam the door, but will joyfully nod in response or laugh. So, on the one hand, we take risks, and on the other, we show that we already know the person well, understand his mental model, or, more simply, consider him our boyfriend.
How to achieve mastery
Another important feature of a lover of obscene language is emotionality. This is also attractive: people like to see displays of emotion, and the stronger their intensity, the more reluctant we are to leave the theater.
Although expressive coloring is characteristic of swearing in general, there are also special studies that conclusively establish a connection between swearing and increased emotional arousal. In one of them, subjects were asked to play computer games. The first group got meditative golf on green lawns, the second - a first-person shooter (this is when the player sees his character not from the back, but as if he were holding a rifle in his hands). After ten minutes of shooting or stomping on the lawn with a stick, the scientists tested all participants' level of swearing fluency. The guys who played the shooter won, which allowed the researchers to conclude: emotional intensity helps us quickly find the right expressions and easily select the appropriate witty word.
