Here is the long-awaited day when you decided to unite your destinies. Most couples admit that their wedding was the happiest day of their lives. But time passes and you are at a loss: “We were so happy, what happened?”
Don't rush to give up on your marriage. Knowing how to improve your relationship with your wife, your marriage can bring many more bright and happy moments.
Types of relationships between spouses
The relationship between husband and wife is very similar to any other. Family psychology divides them into the following types:
- Cooperation is almost perfect. The couple has established mutual understanding and mutual support. This type is considered the best for a family.
- Parity – here both partners are equal. When building such relationships, mutual benefit is pursued.
- Competition is an expressed desire to achieve greater heights and get ahead of a partner. On the positive side, rivalry aimed at goals beneficial to the family will have a positive impact on marriage. But if there is competition, tension will certainly arise . Sometimes such rivalry can escalate into open confrontation.
- Competition is the desire to dominate a spouse. In such conditions, the family cannot exist in integrity and unity . There is a constant struggle of interests between partners. The emergence of competition in relationships quickly destroys the family unit.
- Antagonism consists of marital confrontation and is the result of competitive struggle. Staying together in a state of antagonism is a necessary measure. A family can be temporarily preserved due to some external factors, but then inevitably dies .
Important ! Family relationships are not constant and often change. Due to getting used to a partner or fatigue, competition, for example, can turn into temporary competition or parity.
How to restore your relationship with your spouse
There are ways to revive a situation when a marriage is on the verge of divorce. But a woman must take the first steps, for which she will have to step over her pride. If saving your family is worth it, act quickly.
Take some responsibility yourself
In any relationship, the partner notices his actions, but does not pay attention to the reciprocal actions of the other half. This creates the impression of inaction and, in case of dissatisfaction, causes aggression. To normalize the situation, do not blame your husband. Put yourself in his shoes and celebrate all that he does for the marriage. A man who values his companion never gets tired of doing little things that are invisible at first glance for her.
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Learn to admit your guilt
In a dispute, it is important for a woman to hear a phrase about her being right from a man’s lips. However, this negatively affects relationships. Think about priorities, because one quarrel and recognition that your wife is right can be worth a destroyed relationship. In addition, it is easier for girls to show tenderness, since this is inherent in them by nature.
Solve the problem immediately
Postponing the time to express dissatisfaction until later, the wife gradually forgets what she wanted to say, but the resentment remains in her soul. When the right moment arrives, the woman becomes more aggressive, and the man does not understand the reason for this behavior. Dialogue rarely leads to a solution to the problem and ends in a quarrel.
To avoid this, immediately notice details and point to them. This will give rise to claims that the husband will see with his own eyes, and not evaluate from the words of his wife.
Don't blackmail with sex
Statistics show that infidelity is a common cause of divorce, but wives continue to blackmail their husbands with sex if they try to get what they want from him. This is a common mistake that can push a man into the arms of his mistress.
You can blame your husband for destroying his marriage, but for the sake of honesty, it’s worth admitting that the cause of the problem lies in his other half too.
Criticism addressed to you can also be objective
Women rarely try to understand men's thinking. When, in the heat of a quarrel, the husband inadvertently says that both are to blame for the problem, the wife does not admit her guilt and tries to offend him with words in order to take revenge. However, after the peak moment, try to remember in detail the essence of the complaint and evaluate how objective it is. There are young people who really try to offend, but they are few. More often, a defense mechanism is triggered that does not allow one to admit mutual guilt.
Make your intimate life varied
Sex is an effective method of restoring harmony after a quarrel. By transferring the conflict to a horizontal position, a woman receives advantages:
- emotional relief due to the release of endorphins;
- feeling calm due to physical activity;
- time for an opportunity to cool down from the conflict.
After this, it is easier to find a common language, since a good mood helps not to focus on the negative. If you constantly come up with new interesting positions, places and use toys, then you will have to quarrel to ignite passion.
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Show that you need him
Think back to the first months of the relationship. Every step taken towards was perceived as heroism. The words of praise flowed without stopping, and the young man felt like a hero. Since then there have been few changes, and the man has increased his level of ability in many areas, but gratitude is increasingly difficult to achieve. To recreate the atmosphere of past passion, the wife should try not to mince words. This will allow the husband to again feel a surge of strength and give the marriage a new round of development.
Stages of relationships - what are they?
Psychologists consider marriage to be a living organism that goes through several stages in the process of development:
- Falling in love is the most romantic time. Thanks to certain hormones produced in the body, lovers see the world in a bright light. At this stage, the partner seems wonderful in every way. This pleasant stage lasts until about two years, during which most couples get married.
- Addiction. It occurs immediately after falling in love ends. Partners begin to behave more relaxed, not hiding their shortcomings. At this stage, a sober assessment of your other half is given.
- Quarreling. Inevitable in any relationship. Divorces most often occur at this time. The partner’s shortcomings are clearly expressed; it seems that he is wrong in everything. At this stage, people wonder why they got married in the first place. here that anger taken out on your spouse is addressed to yourself . A person can no longer enjoy falling in love and euphoria; he does not understand where the bright colors have disappeared.
- Cooperation. It comes after realizing that in order to continue a happy life it is necessary to maintain a household, pay utility bills and raise children. During this period, the relationship is similar to a business partnership.
- If the couple has not given up and continues to support the union, the stage of respect for their half inevitably begins. The spouse becomes valuable only for his boundless patience. A person tries to thank his partner. The married couple becomes mature. Tenderness and care are revived, which will be the foundation of a strong relationship .
- The stage of respect smoothly transitions into the stage of friendship. Spouses become as close as possible, trusting each other absolutely. At this stage, partners communicate heart to heart and easily exchange feelings and energies.
- The stage of true love can only arise after all the periods have passed. For this feeling to arise, patience and wisdom are needed. At the last stage, you just need to enjoy happiness, the path to which was so long.
Is there life after marriage?
The first months of marriage are the happiest for any couple. The spouses enjoy spending time together and never tire of pleasing each other with pleasant surprises. Over time, everyday problems become more and more common. Minor disagreements appear. Small bad habits of the second half, which touched and amused before the wedding, begin to cause irritation after the wedding. If you are wondering how to improve your relationship with your wife, most likely the situation is already unfavorable. It’s definitely worth fighting for feelings if you still have them. But what to do if your beloved spouse is increasingly dissatisfied, starts scandals out of nowhere and openly “nags”? The main thing is not to panic and not to enter into open conflicts.
Family crises and how to avoid them
Every married couple invariably faces problems. This mainly happens when a relationship moves from one stage to another.
- The first crisis lies in the mutual irritation of the spouses . There is internal anxiety in the relationship. This could be irritation at a partner’s behavior or unfulfilled expectations. Overcoming this will take time, patience and a desire to develop the relationship.
- The second crisis is the lack of trust in the couple . The result can be aggressive behavior of a man and secrecy of a woman. The more often the husband shows negative emotions, the more the woman withdraws into herself. The coldness from the other half again prompts the man to anger. A vicious circle is formed. To get out of the situation, a woman needs to be able to open up to her husband, asking her to listen if necessary.
- During the next crisis, the man is stingy and petty . He feels that the woman is moving away, so he subconsciously does not want to invest money in her. At this stage, the wife may begin to deceive her husband in order to solve her financial issues. A vicious circle arises again.
Important ! Every crisis needs to be understood and can be overcome through conversation and a calm showdown.
Problems that are very difficult to solve
Every family may encounter difficulties due to which mutual feelings gradually fade away. This is for example:
- Lack of mutual understanding . Different points of view on the same issue are justified by fundamental differences at the physiological level. By understanding and accepting this fact, the problem can be solved. However, in practice, when asked about the reasons for divorce, a woman answers that her husband refuses to understand her.
- The problem of housing , which consists in the family living with the spouse’s parents. If there are children in the family, the situation only gets worse. As a rule, a man remains in his usual territory, refusing to change his place of residence.
- Lack of material well-being is a problem due to which any relationship can crack. As a rule, wanting to provide for her child, a woman reproaches her husband for his insolvency. Such words often act in the opposite way, conflicts occur more and more often.
Why do I have a bad relationship with my husband?
And if a husband leaves a woman with whom he has lived for 20 years, it is not because she has grown old, but because her character has become unbearable. Her development remained at the level of a 20-year-old girl. During these 20 years, my husband received a second higher education, he has a circle of friends, his own interests, he watches political programs, some thematic ones that develop his horizons. And he has nothing to talk to her about.
He wants to, but he can't. She doesn’t have the level of thinking and knowledge that would make it interesting to communicate with. She watches tearful talk shows, soap series, melodramas, and surfs social media. networks in search of some beautiful clothes, etc. hence the bad relationship with my husband.
The family is the primary environment where a person must learn to do good.
Vasily Sukhomlinsky
She doesn’t even think about watching, for example, a serious educational program or some movie with her husband. Share your opinions with him. She prefers to watch melodramas. What to talk to her about? After 20 years of marriage, she has no hobbies. There are no decent girlfriends with whom it would be interesting to do something, but only girlfriends who collect gossip and are jealous.
And this is precisely why a man leaves a woman when he has lived with her for 20 years of marriage. And not because she got old.
I am for you to take care of yourself. They did facial massage, facial gymnastics, played sports, went swimming, went to the gym, had body massage to make them look good. And manicure, makeup, pedicure and everything else. I welcome this, but I am against you doing it for fear of abandonment. Improve your bad relationship with your husband.
Rules for happy family relationships
According to psychologists, for happiness in the family it is enough to follow a few rules:
- Mutual respect should never be forgotten. You must always accept and take into account the position of your partner . Even during irritation, you should not utter offensive words, but you need to calm down and talk confidentially.
- Thank each other for little things, like a cooked meal or a hammered nail. Any endeavors of a partner should be noticed and rewarded.
- Being able to give in is an important rule for building family happiness. And this is not a show of weakness. A person who yields to another appears noble and strong.
- You need to show feelings for your other half. Fleeting kisses or gentle touches firmly cement relationships. Much attention should be paid to intimate life. Sex brings spouses together, and its absence can weaken even a strong union .
- Don't tell strangers about your secrets. Family life should remain intimate. No one should know about the achievements or missteps of a partner, especially in the sexual sphere.
- Being able to forgive without accumulating resentment is the key to harmonious relationships. You can forgive your significant other almost anything.
- When babies appear, a woman often stops paying attention to her husband. It must be remembered that relationships in the family should be smooth between each of its members. Also, don't treat one child better than another.
How to improve your relationship with your wife if difficulties arise
When problems arise in the family with a wife, not all men react appropriately and in a timely manner. Some succumb to panic, fear that she will decide to leave. Others pretend that nothing happened, hoping that time will put everything in its place. And only a few know what to do if the relationship has deteriorated, when the wife has fallen out of love.
There are several factors indicating an imminent collapse:
- both partners cannot express their thoughts and feelings;
- they do not know how to listen and hear each other;
- increasingly unable to control anger;
- partners do not provide each other with adequate support;
- there is always no time for talking;
- the spouses stopped appreciating each other.
In such cases, it is important to find the right time to talk openly about the problems. To do this, negative emotions must subside in both.
During the conversation, it is important to identify difficulties in the relationship, determine the reasons for this behavior, express wishes to each other, and then outline a correction plan.
If she fell out of love
The most difficult situation in family relationships is when one of the partners declares a lack of feelings. But it’s good if your wife says this, most likely it will be a trick on her part to encourage you to change. Listen to a few tips on how to improve your relationship with your wife if she has fallen out of love:
- Work on yourself - let your image in her eyes become completely different, become a strong, reliable, successful, self-confident man for her.
- Improve your relationship - get rid of the fear of losing the woman you love, reboot your communication, fill it with positivity, humor, and partnership.
- Return her trust - express your desire to return her feelings, but without pressure or intrusiveness. In any difficult situation, be there so that she understands how strong a support you can be.
- Give her time - perhaps negative emotions will fade into the background, she will calm down and rethink hasty conclusions.
- Start over again - remember what actions and courtships you were able to melt her heart. Make some memorable dates a reality. Emphasize those qualities in yourself for which she once fell in love with you.
If the relationship is bad
If the relationship no longer suits both of you, it’s time to take some action. The best way is to contact a family psychologist. He will tell you how to behave so as not to worsen the situation, namely:
- do not panic - realize that crises happen in all couples, gather your will into a fist, make a firm decision to fight for the relationship;
- change the model of behavior - find the reasons for the spouse’s dissatisfaction, based on this, build new tactics to change the situation;
- show attention to your wife - regardless of age and duration of marriage, show care, look after;
- get closer - show more tactility in relationships, any touch is sometimes more effective than words;
- build a confidential tone of conversation - talk to each other more often, learn to listen to a woman, hear her words, build a constructive dialogue.
Bad relationships always require special attention and analysis. Try to find the reasons for dissatisfaction with each other, don’t guess, ask your wife directly what doesn’t suit her. Without knowing the root of the problem, it will be difficult to find ways to restore family relationships with your wife.
