Depression while on maternity leave: how to cope and not ruin your maternity leave

Reasons for the development of depression

After the birth of a child, a woman’s life changes greatly. Fatigue increases every day, the young mother is in constant tension. After some time, she feels that her internal reserve of strength is running out. Emotional burnout occurs. This leads to a woman’s sleep disturbance, suspiciousness and shyness. These signs indicate that maternity depression is beginning to develop.

Causes of depression:

In the first time after childbirth, young mothers do not get enough sleep. In addition to caring for the child, which takes a lot of effort and time, you need to have time to tidy up, wash, and cook. Severe fatigue accumulates, and the woman becomes irritable, alienated, and feels depressed.
Immediately after giving birth, the woman is constantly near the child. There is not enough time and energy to communicate with friends. One day gives way to another, events repeat themselves exactly. Over time, a monotonous life leads to emotional exhaustion and apathy appears.
During pregnancy, expectant mothers gain up to 20 kg of additional weight. After giving birth, you won’t be able to get rid of the weight you’ve gained right away. A changed figure becomes a cause of dissatisfaction with appearance, which leads to increased irritability.
Women who have given birth for the first time often unreasonably consider themselves bad mothers. They think that they can’t do anything and can’t cope with the child, and the advice of elders is perceived as teaching, depressing the young mother even more.
5. Self-realization and self-affirmation are important for a person. While on maternity leave, a woman loses this opportunity.
If a woman is constantly near the baby, then there is no time left for rest, to be alone for at least half an hour, go to the store, watch TV or just take a quiet shower. This leads to nervousness and irritability.
Communication with people plays an important role in a person’s life. During parental leave, lack of communication over time leads to nervous breakdowns or mental disorders.

General recommendations for young mothers

Particularly emotional and sensitive women are usually open and sociable by nature.
Such mothers begin to experience anxiety and apathy if they cannot fully build emotional relationships with people. Forced isolation and lack of communication during maternity leave cause depression in such women. How can active extroverts deal with depression while on maternity leave? Psychologists recommend that women with this temperament start decorating their home and changing the interior to quickly improve their condition. You can try yourself in photography or painting. Communication and new acquaintances with the same mothers are available today via the Internet. Advice that can only further isolate a woman into loneliness and herself (for example, meditation) is categorically inappropriate.

A woman can realize her activity and sociability to the maximum in the field of volunteer work, but with a child in her arms this is difficult. Although it is in such areas that the emotional range of a young mother will be fully involved in empathy and sympathy. You can find a community that is engaged in similar activities and take part as much as possible. For example, at a city forum for mothers, you can organize a collection of things for a local shelter or orphanage.

A special condition after childbirth in women who feel equal to a man. In ancient times, representatives of the fairer sex with this type of character accompanied men in war and hunting. Today, these women may experience difficulties with conception and childbirth, and when going on maternity leave, they may encounter psychological difficulties. Such a mother identifies herself as depressed because she does not develop the notorious maternal instinct.

All this does not mean that it will not be possible to safely raise and educate a child. It may seem strange, but it is women with this type of character who realize themselves well in the teaching profession. Relationships with your own child are built not on the basis of maternal instinct, but on a special emotional connection. This becomes possible when the baby begins to recognize the mother and respond to her.

A woman with such a temperament needs communication, so there is absolutely no need to confine herself to family and household chores. Successful ways of social fulfillment include providing all possible assistance to volunteer centers and active participation in the lives of relatives. For most women, fulfillment in the role of mother and wife is primary, but for the types listed here, it is social fulfillment that is necessary.

There is a type of woman whose natural needs are concentration and solitude. When they become a mother, they, with sadness and apathy, begin to look for the answer to the question: “Is there really any real meaning in procreation? When the child grows up, will the mother be needed only to pay for food and continue to care for him?

Depression during maternity leave occurs due to a combination of reasons. Both physical aspects and purely emotional ones matter. In the first months after the birth of the baby, fatigue and constant lack of sleep are most pronounced. This is where alienation, apathy and irritability appear. In this case (if there are no other problems, and the reason is most likely fatigue), you need to devote more time to rest and realize that in a month or a month and a half everything will begin to change.

In addition, young mothers are forced to be in a confined space almost all the time. Lack of diversity causes irritability, tearfulness, dissatisfaction with life and other problems. Depression during maternity leave can be caused by such reasons. Is your child a year old or a little older, but no longer has the strength? It's just tiredness from the routine.

Here it is important to expand your “horizons”: you can visit with a child (even a small one), explore new walking routes and go shopping. For ease of movement (especially if you do not have your own car), it is better to purchase a comfortable sling or kangaroo. Today there are models that are suitable even for newborns.

After childbirth, a woman’s figure changes noticeably. The kilograms gained during pregnancy do not go away when you are discharged. The changes are noticeable not only to the youngest mother, but also to her husband. Hence the irritability and lack of attention from the other half. But there is a way out. You need to improve your diet and exercise (at least at home). During pregnancy, you should also try not to gain extra pounds in order to quickly return to normal after childbirth.

The “bad mom syndrome” can be pronounced in primigravidas. It seems that everything is falling out of hand, the child is always missing something, there is a fear of not being able to do something or losing sight of something, of doing everything wrong. In this case, you need to find a more experienced friend to whom you can turn for advice.

How to get rid of depression while on maternity leave? You should try to have a positive attitude towards everything. Even everyday self-care, baby care and household chores can be made more interesting. It is enough to buy scented bath foam, bright sponges for home care, beautiful children's clothes and generally give preference to something unusual. When buying clothes, it is also better to prefer bright colors, because psychologists have long proven their ability to positively influence mood.

It is worth learning to accept any help. It is necessary to forget disagreements and long-standing grievances, give those around you the opportunity to participate in caring for the child and give up the desire to be independent in everything. There is no need to rush to fill the freed minutes with everyday chores - this is time for relaxation, you can treat yourself to some sweetness (but only in moderation) or take a bath.

Going out on a visit, to nature, to a museum, dinner in a cafe - you can definitely afford it once a week. The main thing is, for this day, forget about the regime and the absence of soup: it’s not at all scary if the baby eats canned food once and sleeps in the car.

Please help, I don’t know how to cope with maternity depression. My baby is only 4 months old, I’m on maternity leave, and I’m seriously tormented by depression. The three of us live with our husband and son. But our dad is at work all day, I don’t even have anyone to talk to. When I got married, I moved to his city, but neither my relatives nor his are here.

Probably, loneliness had such an effect that I became depressed during maternity leave. Every day I am overcome by fears: I am afraid for my husband, for myself, for my child. I'm afraid something bad will happen. How to overcome depression in a woman on maternity leave, are there effective ways? And how normal is this condition? Perhaps it should be treated with medications or use some folk remedies for depression?

System-vector psychology explains that there are people among us who have special emotionality and sensuality. These are carriers of the visual vector, natural extroverts, open and sociable. They are focused on building emotional connections with other people.

In women with such properties, forced self-isolation and lack of communication during maternity leave do not cause depression, but a state of emotional deficiencies, which a woman often defines as depression while on maternity leave.

The emotional range of the viewer is too great to limit it only to the child and evening communication with her husband. As a result of such a limitation, the owner of the visual vector experiences increased anxiety, tearfulness, increased fears, and may experience hysterics and even panic attacks. The reason is the lack of adequate realization of her widest emotional range.

Spectators love to enjoy beauty and aesthetics, so in the short term they can improve their condition with the help of:

home decoration, creating a beautiful interior;
hobbies of photography or painting (for example, while walking with a child);
Internet communication on any forums of interest.

Any advice that can further isolate them in solitude (for example, meditation, focusing on oneself) is absolutely not suitable for owners of the visual vector.

However, over time, dissatisfaction grows, and communication with real people in any case becomes vital. You can use the Internet as a connection to meet other people.

The viewer can make the most of her abilities in the field of volunteer work, helping the disabled and sick people. There, her enormous emotional range is fully harnessed through empathy and compassion.

It is clear that this is not easy to achieve with a child in your arms. But it is quite possible to find a community in your city via the Internet that is engaged in such activities, and take part as much as possible. Or organize, for example, on a mothers’ forum a collection of things for an orphanage, etc.

I probably shouldn’t have given birth at all... I look at other mothers, how they “cluck” and rush around with their babies, and I can’t understand why I don’t feel anything? At first, I was even a little scared to take my son in my arms. After giving birth, I cried all day long, I thought it was wrong for me to decide to give birth and go on maternity leave.

Special conditions after the birth of a child are experienced by women who have a cutaneous-visual ligament of vectors. The fact is that even in the ancient human pack, such a woman did not give birth to children along with other representatives of her sex, but accompanied men in hunting and war.

Even today, such women often experience difficulties with conception or spontaneous childbirth. But when the child is finally born, the woman faces psychological difficulties when going on maternity leave. Such a mother identifies depression in herself for the reason that she does not develop the notorious maternal instinct, like other women.

Manifestations of depression while on maternity leave

Every third woman shows signs of depression while on maternity leave:

increased anxiety;
being constantly in a bad mood and excessive tearfulness;
irritability;
constant fatigue;
refusal of help;
reluctance to make contact;
depression and lack of motivation;
loss of interest in the child;
memory deteriorates;
cardiopalmus;
frequent headaches;
sleep disturbance;
lack of appetite.

These symptoms indicate that the young mother is beginning to experience depression. In most cases, the disorder is mild and does not require drug treatment; drug treatment may be necessary when neurotic symptoms become severe.

If signs of a depressive state have not disappeared within 3 months or symptoms of neurosis, mental disorders or suicidal thoughts are added to them, then you should seek help from a psychotherapist as soon as possible. The doctor will assess the severity of the disease and prescribe qualified treatment. Self-medication is excluded.

Advice from a psychologist ↑

Involve your husband in raising the child to the maximum. Talk frankly with your husband, tell him that it is difficult for you to cope with some responsibilities. The conversation should be conducted exclusively in a positive way - without scandals, shouting and reproaches. Apply tricks: say that you want your child to be very similar to him, and joint games and all kinds of communication with the child can contribute to this. But be prudent: if your spouse gets up early in the morning for work, do not ask him to get up all night so that he can calm the child down.
Read books about child development and education. There is a lot of useful information written there. From them, not only a young mother, but also an adult woman who has successfully raised several children learns something new. They often provide examples of real-life situations. Such techniques make it possible to more easily come to certain conclusions. Moreover, after reading this literature, many mothers will understand that the child’s nervousness and whims are not a consequence of their inept handling of the baby, but features of age-related changes.
Enter a reward system . Set goals for yourself throughout the day. As soon as you successfully complete them, do yourself a favor: buy goodies, things, set aside more time for doing what you love, etc.
Don't isolate yourself . Communicate more. Preferably not only with girlfriends. Discuss various issues: raising a child, relationships with your husband (in general terms, without details), your own feelings, etc. In response, you will hear a lot of advice, examples of what to do and what not to do.
Find a nanny . If your relatives do not have the opportunity to help you raise your child, a person offering his services for money will help you get distracted. A nanny can be found either full-time or just on weekends. If the first option gives access to work, the second – for your own leisure.
Do not exaggerate . After all, many women have gone through childbirth. And some - more than once. Think about the fact that you were able to give life to a new person. And this cannot cause depression while on maternity leave.

Methods for getting rid of depression

There are different methods to get rid of depression. In order to improve your condition, psychologists recommend:

Relax with your child. After the baby has fallen asleep, the young mother also needs to go to bed. Daytime sleep will allow the body to rest and fatigue will not accumulate.
Before going to bed at night, take a relaxing bath with sea salt or essential oils. This will help relieve negative emotions and set you up for a night's rest.
Regular exercise. This will help prevent the development of depression and improve your tone. It is recommended to play sports in the fresh air, which will improve your emotional state and provide physical activity.
Reading. Don't deny yourself reading your favorite books or magazines.
Communicate more with people. This will help improve your mood and take a little break from your home routine.
Walking without a child. You need to get out of the house without your child at least 2 times a week, which will allow you to relax and feel better.
Division of household duties. It is necessary to entrust some of the tasks to your spouse in order to avoid excessive stress on an already tired body.
Self-realization and self-development. You need to find something you like. For example, sign up for a manicure course or get a driver's license. This will help you feel like a full-fledged person.
Involving your spouse in raising your child. Don't put this on yourself alone. Coming home from work, the husband can play with the baby, thereby giving his wife time to rest.

If you are tired of routine and monotony

It's just a nightmare. Diapers, undershirts, mashed porridge, dirty pants. And the next day - the same thing. And so on in a circle, day after day. Sometimes I feel like I'm a character in the movie Groundhog Day and it will never end. Since I went on maternity leave, depression has become my constant companion. Every day the same thing happens, the same thing - it can drive you crazy. I have become irritable and lash out at loved ones. Maternity leave and depression have become synonymous for me. What to do?

For active and purposeful representatives of the skin vector, one of the indispensable attributes of life is novelty. Often such women can be seen in sports or business; among them there are engineers and technologists. Competition, career, technical innovation are the areas of their natural aspiration and interest.

Of course, a woman’s life changes significantly when she goes on maternity leave. From the point of view of systemic psychology, the author of the letter cannot be called depression. Negative states in this case are a consequence of dissatisfaction with desires in the skin vector, primarily novelty. Skin people can't stand routine.

Over a short distance, skinworms in this situation partially relieve their deficiencies using the following methods:

rearrangement in the house;
changes in appearance;
active walks with the baby (for maximum mobility, use slings or baby carriers, this allows you to expand the “geography” of movement);
active sports at home, and, if possible, in a fitness club.

Widespread advice on the Internet for women on maternity leave to overcome depression often includes knitting, embroidery and other needlework. Dear skinners, these tips are not for you! Such a “boring” activity can drive any person on maternity leave into even greater, so-called depression.

Full realization for each of us is possible only in contact with other people. For a woman with a skin vector, an option may be to open her own small Internet business. Or maybe, traveling with your baby in a sling, you will even risk registering as an entrepreneur? Or offer your professional services to clients online? You decide.

Such a woman’s relationship with her own child is built not on the basis of maternal instinct, but on the basis of creating an emotional connection with him. This becomes possible when the baby begins to recognize the mother, respond empathetically to her, and she responds to his emotions. Often their connection becomes strong and stable when the child reaches 3 years of age.

A skin-visual woman needs communication, so don’t focus only on your family and child. Successful options for social implementation for you are similar to those described above for the visual vector.

For the vast majority of women, fulfillment in the role of wife and mother is primary. And only for the skin-visual one, social implementation is a priority.

But the volume of the female psyche and desires of the modern woman has grown significantly. Regardless of your vector set, if you feel that you are not fulfilling yourself enough as a mother and wife, use your innate talents to bring them into society. You can learn in detail about the professional implementation of representatives of various vectors at the training on system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan.

Women with a sound vector can experience real depression while on maternity leave. Their most sensitive area is the ear, and their natural need is solitude and concentration.

When caring for a baby, such women can really experience severe pain from a child's cry, since it directly affects their most sensitive area. And the inability to be alone in silence and concentrate on your thoughts further intensifies bad conditions.

If a sound woman does not realize her aspirations for self-knowledge, does not find use for herself in useful social activities, then she accumulates severe sound voids and shortcomings when she goes on maternity leave. Depression can get worse and become very severe. Doctors often prescribe antidepressants or other drugs in such situations, sometimes even incompatible with breastfeeding.

For active and purposeful women, careerists who know how to achieve their goals, novelty is an integral part of a fulfilling life. Often such personalities can be seen in sports or business, among them there are technologists and engineers. Their areas of interest are career, competitiveness and competition, technical innovation.

The life of a young mother changes dramatically when she goes on maternity leave. But the feeling of apathy, sadness and anxiety that arise from time to time cannot be called depression. Negative emotional states are a consequence of dissatisfaction and the desire for novelty. Such active and active women cannot stand routine.

How to cope with depression while on maternity leave? To improve your condition, you can rearrange your home, change your appearance, expand the “geography” of walks with your baby (for this it is more convenient to use slings or kangaroos rather than classic strollers), actively engage in sports at home or start going to the gym.

There is widespread advice to take up knitting or embroidery, as well as other types of needlework. But such advice is not for those who are tired of monotony. Such activities will only aggravate the depression of a career woman who is forced to stay at home with a child (even her dearly loved one).

If depression occurs while on maternity leave, what should you do? Women who are tired of monotony are often advised to start a small online business or register as an entrepreneur. You can even work from home. This is useful both for the financial situation of the family and for the normal emotional state of the mother, who was busy with her career all her life before the birth of the baby.

Advice for spouse and family members

Psychologists also give recommendations to spouses and family members:

Take an interest in the health of the young mother. You need to ask about a woman’s well-being as often as possible; maybe she doesn’t say anything out of fear of becoming a burden.
Take on some of the household responsibilities. This will relieve mom and give her at least a little free time.
To compliment.
The spouse should not insist on intimacy. During this period, it is difficult for a woman mentally, and your demands can only worsen the condition.
Give pleasant surprises. Little joys will lift your spirits and give you new strength.
Don’t say that something doesn’t work out for a young mother. You just need to help kindly.
Offer any help. Grandparents can sit with the child while his parents go to the cinema or cafe.

Raising children is a difficult process that takes a lot of strength and energy. Depression that occurs during maternity leave is easily treatable. The main thing is to recognize it in time and start working on yourself.

General recommendations for getting out of depression

It is very good when there is someone to help with the child. In this case, you can give yourself periodic days off and enjoy the fact that the blues are going away. But a woman herself can overcome depression if she changes her attitude towards her current situation and learns to forgive her own mistakes. In order not to give in to despondency, you need to learn not to complicate life:

Don't think ahead. There is no need to be afraid that the slightest mistake in upbringing will turn a child into a monster. Or that it won’t be possible to raise him smart enough. There is no need to set global goals for yourself while the baby is still cooing. You will have to go towards the goal in small steps, and while you have a two-month-old baby in your arms, it is enough to take care that he is fed and put to bed.
Don't demand the impossible from yourself. If a child appears in the family, it becomes very difficult to look perfect all the time. And you need to forgive yourself for this. Just don’t go to extremes. You will still have to brush your teeth, comb your hair and take a shower.
Stop waiting for gratitude. Sometimes husbands do not understand why their spouse is tired, because she spent the whole day at home. Therefore, it rarely occurs to anyone to say thank you for every day spent with a baby. And a woman wants her daily feat to be appreciated. But wives rarely thank a tired husband who returns after a hard day. In order not to drive either yourself or your man into depression, you need to try to treat family life as work and not demand excessive admiration from others.
Enjoy activities with children. You need to look for something that will be interesting to do with your child. For example, play some game with him and enjoy his fun. The baby’s positive emotions will cheer up his mother, and the bonus will be a long, healthy sleep for the tired baby. You can slowly teach him new things and be inspired by his first successes. Or simply dress up your son or daughter in fashionable items, presented in a huge assortment in children's stores.

Changing your own perception is a very big thing. But you also need to come up with an activity that would distract you from sad thoughts. And not all people are suited to the same thing .

Emotional burnout: how to survive on maternity leave

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This is a terrible condition. When a child cries and clings to the hem... You know that if you just hold him close to you, he will calm down, but you can’t bring yourself to do it. Hiding in the bathroom. You cry, you hate yourself. You try to convey your condition to your family and hear: “What kind of mother are you!” I tell myself this. From morning to evening: “You’re just sitting at home with the children.” It seems like a whim, laziness, selfishness.

How I drove myself crazy

It all started when Lesha was one and a half years old, we adopted two-month-old Anya. Adaptation and a new life with little weather completely exhausted me. But I didn't want to admit it.

Since the month of Lesha, I have been working from home as a translator for 20 hours a week. When Anya came to us, she took time out for only a month and a half. And then I started translating again, without a break, 8-10 documents a day. In addition, I also worked as a freelance journalist - writing articles about exhibitions, artists and photographers.

And in her free time from work, she ironed things that the children then wore around the house for at most half a day. She prepared sophisticated dishes. I scrubbed the apartment even with temperatures below 40.

A year later, such darkness covered me that I thought about going to a psychiatrist. It was so similar to clinical depression. I constantly tried to hide from the children. She became twitchy and angry. I fell asleep broken and woke up broken. I cried at every little thing. I didn’t want anything at all, nothing made me happy. It was as if all meaning had been taken away from life.

Doctor, what's wrong with me?..

I tried to figure it all out and realized that I had developed emotional burnout syndrome.

This term is usually applied to helping professionals - doctors, teachers, social workers. People who are called to put their soul into business. But recently psychologists began to write that mothers are also burning out. This condition causes such terrible feelings towards one’s own child that it is not customary to talk about it. But it can cover anyone.

Emotional burnout is dangerous because parents in the heat of passion can actually cause harm to the child. Thus, Swiss mountaineer Erhard Loretan was left alone on Christmas Day with his beloved seven-month-old son. The boy began to cry for several long hours. His father tried in vain to calm him down, and then shook him in a frenzy. The child fell asleep. Forever.

Therefore, if you feel like you are being pulled into a black hole, take action immediately.

Symptoms

The child is terribly annoying. He's crying, you can't bring yourself to pick him up. Brings a drawing, look away: “I have no time.”
You constantly gnaw at yourself: “I’m a terrible mother.” You feel that you are completely empty and, no matter how much you want, you have nothing to give your child.
You are no longer able to bear even the slightest stress. And your reaction is inadequate. The lid on the baby puree won't open - I'm in tears. The soup ran away - hysterics.
My whole body hurts. You fall asleep broken and wake up broken.
First you try to distance yourself from negative emotions, then you stop experiencing any emotions at all. Everything turns gray. Nothing makes me happy. I don't want anything.
It seems to you that the whole world is against you. Any criticism resonates with you with pain and a desire to close yourself off from everyone.

Why do moms burn out?

Physical and mental exhaustion. You have a newborn: he screams at night, screams during the day, does not get away with it - your shoulder joints seem to be twisted. The child is six months to a year old: he crawled and walked. Tries to jump out of the window, stick the plug into the socket. Scatters cereal around the kitchen. He throws things out of closets ten times a day. Smears porridge on the walls. He is one and a half to four years old: he throws tantrums from morning to night.
High level of responsibility and constant emotional involvement. 24 hours a day. 7 days a week. No vacations or weekends.
Loss of freedom. It feels like you're chained to a battery. Your husband can go to a corporate event at any time, and you even coordinate a trip to the doctor two weeks in advance.
Constant frustration. All plans are disrupted. As soon as you plunge into the flow, you are pulled out of it.
Sisyphus' work. I just washed the floor, Anya spilled the yogurt, Lesha carried everything around the hall in his typewriter. As soon as she laid down and smoothed out the sheet, Anya tore it off. It's as if you were in the office for a week drawing up a contract. And a colleague came up and deleted the file. And removed it from the trash. And so 10 times a day. And so on for months.
Groundhog Day. The same monotonous actions day after day. No matter how much they convince you that you can wash your butts and peel the mess off the walls with your soul, the feeling that you are a robot does not disappear.
Insulation. The current situation is unnatural. Before, a woman had never been left alone within four walls with a screaming baby. People lived in communities, families of several generations. A tired mother could always be replaced by a sister, mother-in-law, or grandmother.
Lack of help or inability/unwillingness to ask for it.
Inflated demands on oneself and perfectionism. When everything should be i-de-a-l-but! Even with two small children, as soon as they fell asleep, I rushed to iron the bed linen. Until the neighbor came to her senses: “In a month you’ll have a breakdown. Better lie down with them and sleep. Children do not need perfect order, but a calm mother.”
Inability to set priorities and brush aside unimportant matters, the desire to do everything. And scrub the parquet, and iron the socks, and take the child for walks three times for 4 hours.
Lack of personal space. You shower with your baby, go to the toilet with your baby, sleep with your baby, drink tea – cold – with your baby in your other hand.
Ignoring your own needs. The kids got exotic fruits, and I finished the cold soup with them. Designer clothes for the kids, a washed robe for yourself. The children are in “elite development” all day, but I’m a mother - I can’t go to the doctor, although my back is falling apart.
Chronic lack of sleep. When you don’t really sleep for weeks or years, your concentration decreases, your memory deteriorates, and your consciousness becomes clouded. You are squeezed like a lemon. You react violently and inadequately to the slightest stimuli.
Misunderstanding on the part of loved ones . Husband: “You sat at home all day and couldn’t clean?” Mother-in-law: “Nothing, we somehow raised our own.” Father: “What did you think about having children?” Friends without children: “You look lousy.”

What to do about it?

Don't put yourself on the altar . I remember at the adoptive parenting courses they discussed what you need to be prepared for. One woman said: “Forget about yourself completely!” This is the worst thing you can do. You can't give children something to drink from an empty glass. Mother is the heart of the family. If she feels bad, everyone feels bad. The best investment you can make in your family is to learn how to take care of yourself and replenish your strength. Remember how they teach on the plane? In case of an accident, put on an oxygen mask first for yourself, then for the child. Otherwise everyone will die.
Get enough sleep. It helps me when I go to bed with the children early, at 10-11 pm. Then in the morning I get up kind and full of strength, even if I had to get up all night to see one child or another. Before midnight, an hour of sleep goes by two - the body recovers faster. I read about this in various sources. Try to make up for the lack of sleep at night during the day. As soon as the child falls asleep, drop everything and go to bed too. Then, with renewed vigor, you will finish everything many times faster. This made my home much cleaner, and my children and I were calmer.
Learn to monitor your condition and replenish your strength in time. If we draw an analogy with a car, don’t wait until your tank is empty and you’re stuck in the middle of the road.
Don't ignore your needs. If you're hungry, eat. If you are tired, lie down and rest. If your back hurts, immediately make an appointment with a doctor, call a massage therapist at home.
Spend at least half an hour a day alone with yourself doing something that gives you energy. Draw, embroider, just think. For example, a friend of mine, like us, has two little children. My husband is away from home for a long time - he works on a rotational basis in the north of Sakhalin. At the same time, she managed to learn to be an illustrator while on maternity leave and has already painted many paintings. Simply by making it a rule to devote at least 15 minutes a day to your hobby. And when her husband is at home, he lets her go to the cafe to draw with her friends. This is the next point.
At least sometimes you need a break from the burden of constant responsibility for the life and health of your children. When you can taste freedom again. When I feel like I’m going completely wild, I ask Seryozha to let me go free. He comes home from work in the evening, and I run off to exhibitions and lectures on painting. I come back kind and love everyone again.
Don't lose touch with your friends. Invite them to visit, go visit yourself. And don’t narrow your circle of friends exclusively to moms. It is useful to at least sometimes talk about topics not related to children. This will prevent your mind from getting stuck.
Don't carry everything on yourself. Tell your loved ones specifically how they can help you: buy groceries, wash the floor, walk with your child for a couple of hours so you can get some sleep.
Mom burns out because she has to take care of others around the clock. Therefore, more often take a position where, on the contrary, someone cares about you . It helps me to live with my mother-in-law for a couple of days. She takes full charge of the children, feeds us and gives us water. And I sleep, read, write articles.
Tension accumulates in the body. So let your body relax . Massage, sauna, bath with rose petals. Sports also help relieve stress. The one that suits you. Bodyflex saved me. This is a set of exercises based on stretching and deep breathing. Takes only 15 minutes a day and gives a lot of energy. Everything immediately becomes easier and you want to live again.
Honestly divide all your affairs into important and unimportant. Forget about the unimportant ones. Do only what is really necessary. If you are already on the edge, completely dump all excess ballast and switch to energy-saving mode. Things to do to a minimum, all efforts are aimed at recovery.
Simplify your life as much as possible. Dishwasher, multicooker, robot vacuum cleaner. Housekeeper - do general cleaning once a week.
Do not overstimulate your nervous system with depressants such as coffee, cigarettes and alcohol.
Reduce multitasking. For example, if you work from home, let someone else take full responsibility for the child during this time. And when you are with your child, try not to even think about work.
Don't suppress your emotions. Negative feelings, especially strong ones, will not go away, no matter how hard you try to hide and suppress them. This only makes them stronger. And then they result in illness, nervous breakdowns or complete loss of interest in life. They need to be acknowledged and worked through. Talk, write. Shout in the field. Cry and kick a pillow in an empty room. Forgive yourself and have pity. Then they will leave.
If you are at the stage of asthenic exhaustion - your whole body hurts, you cry over every little thing, any obstacle causes despair - go to a neurologist . You will be prescribed something to energize your nervous system. B vitamins and magnesium-based preparations help.

When doing something for themselves, mothers often feel guilty. But it is important to understand that the psyche and nervous system of any person has a limit. If you relapse, it's most likely because you've exceeded your limit. Children are completely dependent on us. Therefore, taking care of yourself is the best investment in a child.

To learn more:

Webinar by Lyudmila Petranovskaya “If mom is at zero” (available on YouTube).
Svetlana Goncharova “A source of strength for a tired mother.”
Brigitte Schulte “I have no time! In search of free time in an era of universal time pressure.”
Olga Valyaeva: “Children and sleep - how compatible are they?”, “Mom needs time alone with herself.”

See also: 9 simple tips for working mothers: getting rid of stress and switching to the child after work Three years of maternity leave or three years of development? Maternity routine: Groundhog Day or new opportunities?

Rest is necessary in any case

How to avoid getting depressed while on maternity leave? We must not forget about rest. It is advisable for a young mother to set aside time for naps during the day. This is a great rest for the body. Before going to bed, you can take a relaxing bath, to which it is recommended to add medicinal salts and scented foam. Body tone improves your mood, and physical exercise will help you get back into shape faster after childbirth.

Reading books and magazines about motherhood or professional activities is also useful. You can pay attention to fiction, which will help you immerse yourself in a fictional world. It is necessary to communicate with acquaintances, friends and loved ones. In the first days after discharge from the hospital there will be no time for this, but then communication is simply necessary.

Carrying out therapy

Before you start fighting depression while on maternity leave, you need to assess the severity of the disease. Mild forms can be treated quite well at home, while severe forms can be treated with psychotherapy or medications.

Treatment at home

The main thing is that a woman must understand that while on maternity leave she needs to not only take care of the child, but also take time for herself . Finding this time will not be difficult, following some recommendations:

A woman must get enough sleep, so during the daytime sleep the baby and mother need to rest.
Some of the responsibilities for caring for the child must be transferred to assistants (father, grandmother). And devote the freed time to yourself (take a bath, make a mask, listen to music, or better yet, take a walk in the park or shops).
Minimize household chores.
Connect sports. This will help put your figure in order and lift your spirits. It is better to choose classes that are not burdensome and conduct them in the fresh air.
Communication is very important during this period. But you should not communicate only with mothers on playgrounds, because talking about the same problems will not be much of a distraction. But communication with loved ones will really help you get out of depression while on maternity leave. It is better to make calls to dear people when you have free time.

Medications

In cases where it is not possible to overcome the disease on your own, you need to use drug therapy (antidepressants and sedatives). These are potent drugs with side effects that are taken under the strict supervision of a doctor and their independent use is unacceptable.

Aromatherapy has proven itself to be an effective way to combat depression. Natural oils of lavender, rosemary, lemon balm and orange have a beneficial effect on the nervous system and elevate your mood.

The safest treatment for depression is psychotherapy. It is also considered the most effective. The doctor selects the method of therapy in each individual case.