Never run after a man, let him run after you: tips for girls and women to fall in love with yourself and keep a guy, a man. Why doesn't a real woman run after a man, why don't men love

In this article we will look at a situation where a woman runs after a man. We will also try to convince women that this is not necessary.

Unfortunately, the form of unrequited love is much more common than mutual love. Many women are ready to literally do anything to ensure that the man of their dreams reciprocates. Representatives of the fair sex who are unrequitedly in love easily succumb to manipulation and persuasion, and often become victims of marriage swindlers and gigolos, because they believe that they can win a man with exemplary behavior, gifts, financial support and other benefits.

Today we will analyze: is it worth running after the object of your sympathy, in what cases is it worth fighting for love, and is there a chance of building a relationship if your partner does not have feelings for you.

Is it worth running after a man?

Many women are ready to make any sacrifices and concessions for the sake of mutual feelings. Often, representatives of the fair sex cease to be guided by common sense, neglecting personal interests and principles. However, there are several arguments in favor of why you should not rush into all seriousness and run after a man. Among the main ones, psychologists identify the following:

Men love challenges: winning over the fair sex, conquering her and proving their devotion. This helps them realize their personal potential and increase self-esteem
Women who are ready to give in to their principles and interests will not be able to become support and support for their partner, since they cause mistrust, because one day they will be able to betray their lover in the same way as their personal priorities
The obsessiveness of the fair sex kills any desire to take initiative and offer help
The lack of personal space and own interests pushes the partner to search for new sensations, and often other lovers
A woman’s availability does not motivate her partner to develop and achieve spiritual and financial enrichment
A man’s awareness that a representative of the fair sex depends on him morally pushes him to various manipulations towards her

Don't run after a man
It is also necessary to remember that relationships are the work of two partners.
After all, no matter how hard a woman tries to keep her loved one, in the absence of common interests, a common outlook on life and similar values, the couple will not be able to find harmony in the future. Therefore, representatives of the fair sex should motivate men for comprehensive development, as well as build relationships on equal terms, without succumbing to emotions and personal grievances.

“Catching up” with a man: how to run away so that he can conquer

Imagine the situation: a hunter is going into the forest for prey, takes a gun, walks briskly into the wilderness and suddenly sees a hare sitting on the path. The hunter is sure that something interesting is about to begin! He is overwhelmed with excitement and anticipation of victory.

He is preparing for the chase, but suddenly... the hare does something that breaks all the patterns: with a happy look and open arms, the “prey” runs not away from the hunter, but towards him, saying: “Well, finally! Catch me quickly! I sit here all day long, waiting. I'm all yours!". This is somehow wrong, right?

Unfortunately, the same thing often happens in the human world. Women (read “hares”) run after men (read “hunters”), without giving them the slightest chance to conquer themselves and feel the sweet taste of victory.

It would seem, what a trifle! It doesn’t matter who is catching up with whom, the main thing is that people feel good together. However, practice shows what else is important.

It is vital for men to realize that the woman next to her was conquered with “sweat and blood,” and did not come with the words “take me, I’m all yours.”

Why these “catch-ups” are so important for relationships, and how to run away correctly so that a man will run after you.

Why do you need to run away?

You may be surprised, but such “chases” are needed primarily not by you, but by your lover. It is important for him to feel like a winner, omnipotent, capable of going out hunting and returning with the best prey. What comes easily into your hands is not interesting. It’s much more interesting to get a trophy for which you have to work hard.

Simply put, a man loves himself almighty next to you, no matter how selfish it may sound. In addition, he unconsciously evaluates his love through everything he puts into your relationship.

Time, emotions, money, personal space - a man is ready to share all this only with that woman who is of a certain value to him. And the value is that woman, in order to conquer whom you need to overcome difficulties, defeat a dragon and climb a high tower.

That’s why you shouldn’t rush into your arms at the first sign of attention from him, shouting, “Well, finally!” - in this way you will ruin everything yourself.

Why do women catch up on their own and not run away?

Unfortunately, it often happens that the natural order of things is disrupted - the woman becomes the “hunter” and the man the “prey”. A representative of the fairer sex takes a gun and says to the “hare”: “Don’t worry, I’ll do everything myself.”

How does this translate in real life? Women try their best to please men, take the initiative, call, write on social networks, make appointments, try to please by preparing a 10-course meal, try to surprise them in sex, etc. In general, they do everything to make a man’s life as easy as possible.

What kind of conquest can we talk about? The “prey,” which, in theory, should run through the forest, waving its tail invitingly, comes to the hunter’s house with bags and says: “Now I am yours forever.” It is not surprising that a man’s interest in such a woman instantly disappears. Why bother if everything is already available - just extend your hand. Why is this happening?

First, women don't feel valued. It seems to them that they are not worthy of all these courtships, feats, flowers, serenades under the windows. All sorts of stupid things come into women’s heads: their appearance is so-so, their age is far over 18, their parents always said that you have to be strong and take the bull by the horns...

All these beliefs prevent a woman from understanding and accepting one simple truth: whatever she is, she is valuable. Both for herself and for the men around her.

Secondly, girls are afraid that if they start running away, no one will run after them. But just think, do you want to be with a man who doesn’t need you so much that he won’t even try to win you?

Thirdly, we are afraid of appearing cruel and cold, thereby scaring away the man who is so important to us.

We don’t understand the simple truth - such “coldness” and inaccessibility (within reasonable limits, of course) only spurs a man’s interest. Don’t forget - you only want to pursue prey that runs away. If the “prey” imposes itself, throws itself around your neck, calls you on the phone, “smothers” you with its attention, you want to quickly hide from it in the wilderness.

How can you make it so that you run away and he catches up?

First, accept the fact that you are valuable. And when we talk about this, we do not mean pathos, pride or vulgar behavior. Feminine value is more about a modest inner feeling that you are a worthy person who is interested in yourself. Don't get hung up on the man and your relationship. Don’t bother your head with thoughts about how to please him (this definitely doesn’t work!), realize that you are a treasure for yourself, and carry this idea through every moment of your life.

Secondly, allow him to take an active interest in you. If you start running after a man, you will feel disgusting, if only because it is not normal. Therefore, give him the opportunity to take the initiative - ask him out on a date, write a message wishing him good night, meet you after work to see you for just half an hour in a coffee shop. These gestures, which seem to you just sweet courtship, play a huge role for a man - in this way, step by step, he wins you and the right to be near you.

Thirdly, give him the opportunity to wait for you. No, it’s not like sitting in a car under the windows for an hour while you try on one dress after another. It's about not rushing headlong to the phone as soon as his number appears on the screen, and not canceling all your plans if he asks for a date. Of course, at the beginning of a relationship, when love clouds your eyes, it is very difficult to cope with the desire to spend every minute in his company, but this is exactly the case when you need to stop the galloping horses and extinguish your own huts. If today you give him the opportunity to fully express his essence as a hunter, tomorrow your relationship will reach a qualitatively new level.

What's wrong if a woman chases a man?

Many women prefer to independently seek reciprocity from men. This fact is explained by several factors:

A similar pattern of relationships could be seen in her close circle.
Lack of a positive image of a man in life
Lack of confidence in one's own beauty and charm
Long absence of any close contacts with the opposite sex
Confidence that financial security is more important than mutual respect and moral support
Fear of loneliness and childlessness
Hyperbolic ideas about men
Excessive demands on your partner
Lack of sexuality and femininity

In order to stop building a relationship with a person who does not show reciprocity towards you, it is important to find the reason that pushes you to a similar form of love and psychological dependence on your partner.

The following methods are suitable for this:

Psychoanalysis
Yoga
Professional psychological consultation
Dance classes
Meditations

Dancing and yoga, like any other type of physical activity, will help to unlock female potential: develop flexibility and plasticity, and also teach you to control your passion, emotions and improve body control skills that increase self-esteem and sexuality.

A woman's obsessiveness leads to bad consequences

Well, now let’s list the consequences of a woman chasing a man:

The stronger sex loses interest in his partner
There is no proper distribution of responsibilities in the relationship
Gender role reversal promotes the manifestation of qualities and behavior in men that are characteristic of women
There is a lack of understanding and respect for each other in the relationship
A partner whose feelings are not reciprocated feels inferior and may become depressed or develop a psychological disorder
A woman experiences her own inadequacy
The fair sex acquires complexes and self-doubt
While a woman is trying to attract the attention of one man, she does not notice worthy partners next to her

Is it worth it?

Women are persistently discouraged from being active towards men. Running around, conquering and forcibly making him fall in love with you is strictly prohibited. But there are a few exceptions to the rule.

At the same time, it is important to understand that even in exceptional cases it is unacceptable to cross the line and be too persistent .

When she's at fault . If a woman really acted wrongly or incorrectly towards her lover, simply apologizing is not enough. It might make sense to try, in addition to apologizing, to show how dear and important the person is. And for this you will have to be the first to make contact, show signs of attention, but at the same time not put pressure.
When she refused. If a woman has repeatedly stopped a man’s attempts to establish contact or create a relationship, perhaps a representative of the stronger sex has abandoned the idea of developing communication in this direction.
And you can try to demonstrate to him your desire to try to move into the romantic sphere again.

Why doesn't a real woman run after a man, and why don't men like it when people run after them?

Many ladies wonder why some representatives of the fair sex never try to please men, but they do not experience a shortage of fans, while others try in every possible way to attract attention to themselves, but for some reason they are passed over.

In order to understand the difference between such opposing behavior patterns, it is necessary to note common and different behavioral factors. Among the main ones are the following:

A confident woman does not need encouragement from others.
A strong lady has priorities, interests and work. Therefore, she always knows what to do with her free time without girlfriends and men.
A real woman takes care of her external beauty, health and education. She regularly expands her knowledge in various topics, watches her figure and uses cosmetics
A strong personality does not depend financially, morally or psychologically on his partner. She has a profession, skills and experience, so the financial condition of her lover does not play a major role
A real woman knows how to build relationships. She accepts a man without trying to change him
A confident lady will not tolerate being around a gigolo, a gambling addict, a cheater, or another man who does not match her in mental development. After all, she knows that she deserves only the best
A true representative of the fair sex is not ashamed of her age, weight and shortcomings, but at the same time, she knows how to emphasize her strengths

The psychology of women who are accustomed to seeking a man’s love has several common characteristics:

Weak ladies are not very confident in themselves and try in every possible way to hide their shortcomings, creating the image of an ideal housewife, employee and woman
Representatives of the fair sex did not have healthy, full-fledged relationships
Women are used to proving their devotion and fidelity through their actions. Therefore, they win the object of sympathy with the help of gifts, food and various surprises
Weak ladies are envious and often gossips. They rarely manage to build relationships with strong personalities
Insecure representatives of the fair sex have many complexes and doubt their attractiveness

Men lose interest in a woman who is chasing him.
In order to determine why men do not like it when a woman shows persistent signs of attention, it is important to consider the situation from the point of view of representatives of a strong part of humanity. Psychologists identify the following factors:

A man stops feeling like a “hunter”
The motivation to win the object of sympathy disappears
A man does not need to look for a way to get closer to his partner with the help of flowers and gifts, because he knows that she is ready for anything without them
A representative of the stronger sex has a greater choice of women, since using his own beauty and charm, he can win anyone without any effort
A man does not need to spend time going through all the stages of a relationship, so sexual intercourse can happen without any costs

Of course, there are a considerable number of representatives of the stronger sex who are obviously looking for weaker partners. This is due to a number of complexes and psychological problems that are typical for such men. However, such relationships cannot be called healthy and fulfilling, because most of the people who are in them are not happy.

In what cases do men resort to manipulation?

Philosophers and thinkers of all times tried to comprehend the depth of a girl’s soul; poets wrote about her, she was praised in songs. With the advent of psychological science and the emphasis on interpersonal relationships as a key factor in research, women's experiences were embraced by a new wave of popularity.

Psychoanalysts interviewed dozens of men, highlighting key aspects of intersexual communication. The first scientist who was able to create the most detailed picture of such communication was Sigmund Freud. He identified 4 main components of verbal communication:

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What cannot be hidden from others: signs of female sympathy

sympathy;
disgust;
lust;
indifference.

Freud made a startling conclusion: women experience disgust and indifference much more often than positive feelings. Men, in turn, tend to sympathize and lust most intensely. When communication components are not mutual, one of the partners attempts to achieve balance through manipulation.

Psychology gives 10 detailed recommendations for manipulation. They will be outlined further, but before moving on to familiarize yourself with them, you should delve deeper into the features of the female psyche.

Why you shouldn’t run after a man after a breakup: psychology

Breaking up with a partner is not easy for most women. Especially if the relationship lasted a long time. However, you should not try to get your ex back. Psychologists also agree that experienced relationships must be forgotten without trying to renew them. The following arguments support this opinion:

There will be no more harmony and respect in the relationship. Our consciousness is designed in such a way that it constantly returns us to past memories and emotions, so it is physically impossible to forget grievances and misunderstandings
You must understand the reason for the separation and analyze your behavior in order to avoid the same mistakes in the future.
Breaking up for women can become a new stage in life. You need to take care of your appearance and inner beauty, and also spend as little time as possible alone with thoughts about your ex.
If your boyfriend betrayed you once, he will gladly disappoint you again

Don't run after a man if he's gone

You are not in love with your current partner, but with the image that you remember from the first stages of your relationship with him. However, people can change under the influence of many factors, so it is impossible to return the personality for which you experienced love
Getting back together with your ex won't solve the problems that caused you to break off contact with him in the first place.
You may miss a real chance to improve your personal life with another partner while you are caught up in the past.
If a man really needs you, he will take the initiative: meet you, call you, write a message, send a gift by delivery service, etc. Regardless of his financial situation and other factors

If you are unable to forget your ex-partner, you should not show signs of attention first. Give the man a chance to rehabilitate himself and take the initiative on his own. It is this act that will help you realize the likelihood of further development of your story, and will also show your true attitude towards you.

How to stop running after a guy, a man, but get him interested: tips from the book of Rashid Kirranov

Rashid Kirranov is a famous psychologist specializing in relationships. His book “The Psychology of Men” reveals secrets that will help women not only better understand the opposite sex, but also build harmonious long-term relationships. Some of the fundamental principles of his book are:

Men are not breadwinners 24/7. In moments of despair, they also deserve attention, care and affection, like representatives of the fair sex
In order to build strong relationships, it is necessary to discuss conflicts, disputes and claims.
Don't give gifts or support financially
There is no need to be afraid to take the first step, but it is important to keep your distance and not impose your feelings
Don't let a man live on your property

Interest and conquer a man

A woman needs to be sincere and clearly articulate her desires and needs.
Do not agree to close contact if you do not know each other well, and also if your partner does not respect you
Stand up for your point of view and do not allow yourself to be manipulated

Unrequited feelings sometimes lead to mutual sympathy, love and marriage. However, do not forget about the purpose of a woman and your own priorities. After spending years trying to win the object of sympathy, you may suddenly realize that there is an ideal man very close by, who does not need heroic deeds and sacrifices for the sake of love.