Tearfulness in children: causes and solutions, consultation on the topic

Causes of increased tearfulness

In fact, there are many reasons for increased tearfulness. List of the most common reasons:

1. Newborns cry because they are hungry, want to be held by their mother, because they want to sleep or because they feel discomfort.
2. In the 2nd month of life, the baby cries before going to bed - this is a kind of emotional release that has accumulated during the day.
   Over time this will pass. Excessive tearfulness
3. The appearance of baby teeth.
4. Loud noises or voices.
5. Fall and impact, as well as any other physiological pain. In this case, there is no need to feel excessively sorry for the child, just hug and tell him that this happens, and he must deal with it himself, because he is strong. Men don't cry - this is a wrong phrase. Many psychologists say that this is a terrible mistake of moms and dads. They misunderstand her, because masculinity is not measured by tears.
6. The kid watched a sad cartoon.
7. Very often, children cry because they want to attract the attention of adults. Apparently they just don't have enough of him. In this case, you should not scold the child. Show him how much you love him and thereby you will create the basis for friendships in the future, because parents are best friends. If you don’t do this, then expect the child’s corresponding reaction: hysterics and disobedience.
8. Fear of unfamiliar adults. Here the main mistake is made by mothers and fathers, because they scare the child: “If you don’t listen, I’ll give you to your uncle or aunt.” Children, especially when they are very young, believe in everything. With such phrases you only instill fear inside the child. If you intimidate him endlessly, he will develop complexes.
9. Medical reasons. In this case, you should immediately take the child to a neurologist or endocrinologist. If specialists discover a pathology, it is necessary to be treated.
10. A change of scenery or, more simply put, a kindergarten or school. If things are better with school, then with kindergarten everything is not going smoothly, especially the first year. Every parent encounters this condition. In this situation, you need to attract the child, he should develop an interest in what he will do during the day in kindergarten. As for the first trip to school, this is much less common, since over a huge amount of time spent in the garden, the child gets used to and quickly adapts to the new environment.
11. Family quarrels. In this situation, the blame lies with the adults. Parents sometimes do not even notice that they have caused psychological trauma to their child. The slightest conflict or quarrel between parents in front of the baby can lead to consequences such as excessive tearfulness.
12. Individual personality trait.
    Each of us has a different nervous system. It can be both strong and weak. If a child has weak nerves, then in the future, whether it is a man or a woman, he will be distinguished by increased sensitivity. In children, this condition is more pronounced and is often accompanied by sleep disturbances. Fear of water
13. The crisis of a certain year of life. As a rule, it occurs at one year, three years and seven years. You should not pay attention to such whims; they will pass on their own over time.
14. Manipulation. What does it mean? The child begins to be capricious as soon as the elders prohibit something.

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In addition, the causes of excessive tearfulness may be depression or experience of violence. Monitor your child and contact your doctor if he or she exhibits the following signs:

• lost interest in life
• having nightmares
• became tense, nervous tics and other alarming signs appeared

First of all, identify the cause of this condition. Take a closer look at your child's behavior in different situations. If he becomes capricious as soon as you forbid something, he is thereby trying to manipulate you in order to get his way no matter what. This behavior should not be encouraged, otherwise it will be much more difficult to cope with it in the future. If tearfulness does not go away over time, you should consult a doctor.

How to deal with a capricious child and re-educate a crybaby

If you don’t know how to behave with a capricious child, use the following recommendations from psychologists. If it was still not possible to avoid whims, then, first of all, the child must be isolated from witnesses who can see his hysteria. The fact is that very often children work for the public. The baby needs to be taken out of the room where the other adults have gathered. You can only let him back in if he has calmed down. This action often helps to achieve the most positive results in the shortest time.

When a baby begins to act up in a crowded place, for example in a store, you must firmly ignore any manifestations of hysteria. The child should be told that the conversation with him will take place only after he calms down.

However, before using such methods, you need to make sure that the baby’s psyche is developing in a normal way. Such methods will not work on a child with a weak nervous system; they can only worsen his condition.

You need to re-educate a capricious child as quickly as possible. Parents should demonstrate their disapproval of their child's behavior in every possible way. For example, after another tantrum, a mother may say before going to the store that she was very upset by his behavior the last time. For this reason, she now takes the child with her, hoping that he made the right conclusions after that incident. It must be remembered that all the demands the baby makes during a tantrum must be ignored. Otherwise, such phenomena will happen more and more often.

The child should learn to manage and recognize his emotions. During his whims, you can ask him leading questions so that he can understand the reason for the tears. Parents should offer him alternative ways to express his emotions. For example, a baby may start tearing an old newspaper or jumping on one leg if he is very angry about something. He should explain that adults also experience similar emotions, but find the strength not to express them so clearly.

Parents must be consistent always and everywhere, especially if the child is near them. You need to behave very calmly in public, especially at home. Children perfectly feel those moments when their whims will have the greatest impact on their parents. Once they understand in which situation mom or dad are least firm, all their efforts will be directed precisely to that place.

An important point in how to raise a capricious child is approval of calm behavior. When a child has managed to cope with his anger or some stressful situation, he needs to be praised and encouraged. In the future, this method should be resorted to if the baby tries to throw a tantrum again. The baby needs to be hugged, kissed and praised as often as possible. It is parents who have the primary influence on children’s self-esteem and sense of self.

To avoid hysterics, you need to develop the baby’s will from early childhood. At the same time, will is not the ability to insist on one’s own at any cost, but the ability to cope with emerging difficulties. Children need to be taught to dress themselves, make the bed, wipe the dust, put away toys, etc. In order to prevent hysterics, it is very convenient to apply the rule of the third bell, i.e. parents begin to talk about the end of something in advance. In addition, the child should be given the opportunity to understand the feelings of other people. The sooner he starts doing this, the easier he will be able to fit into the society around him.

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Parents really want to see their children happy! Their ringing laughter, joyful eyes, and optimism help adults feel uplifted. But what to do if you have a whiny child

? If a child takes many events in his life too close to heart, gets offended and cries in response to criticism?

Firstly, psychologists say that increased emotionality is not a pathology. It is human nature to express their feelings, and while adults have learned to manage them, small children have not. So tearfulness may indicate that your child is a sensitive type of personality; these are often called “thin-skinned people.” Perhaps he has an increased sensitivity to the arts, to the emotions of other people, they are more understanding, compassionate, and deep.

Secondly, it’s worth taking a closer look: what if some traumatic situation is repeated in the child’s life? For example, his classmates are offending him, but he doesn’t tell you about it? Nerves are always on edge, and if he feels excessive harshness in your criticism, tears break out on their own.

A child’s inadequate reaction to all irritants indiscriminately is interpreted as a deviation from the norm: he scratched his knee - tears, his mother asked him to help around the house - the same thing, they didn’t allow him to turn on the TV because he didn’t do his homework - sobs. This is exactly the case when it is worth contacting a psychologist and correcting the child’s behavior with special procedures. Just not with violence, as some parents decide, immediately grabbing the belt: this can make him a chronic neurasthenic.

Treatment of tearfulness in children

Your child will completely get rid of tearfulness when the environment around him changes. You will have to give up a number of things and put away some toys. Parents should be patient, because this process will take more than one or two days. This will take a huge amount of time, but the main thing here is the result.

Bright details in the nursery

An excellent impetus for a change in mood will be the appearance of bright colors in your child’s life. Start by renovating your child’s room and create a new world for him that is full of positive emotions. Remove the TV from the children's room, because it has a negative impact on the child, especially if he watches it at night.

Periodically visit amusement parks, museums and theaters with your child, thereby giving your child the opportunity to relax.

Together with your child, do exercises in the morning and play sports. Children love to be proud of their parents.

It is also necessary to include as many fruits and vegetables in the diet as possible, and exclude those foods that are not beneficial or harmful.

Treatment of depression

This condition should be treated by a specialist: namely, a pediatrician or a psychiatrist. Only one of them, having correctly assessed the situation, can prescribe drug therapy.

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Typically, antidepressants are used to treat this condition:

• Fluoxetine
• Paroxetine, etc.

They have a calming effect on the body. Medications combat obsessive thoughts and panic attacks. These drugs cause virtually no side effects.

Depression in children of different age groups is also treated with cognitive behavioral therapy. It combines a change in thinking and correction of behavior. This therapy helps the child fight psychological problems and negative emotions, as a result of which the child adapts more easily to society.

Among the tasks of individual psychotherapy is preparing a school-age child to correctly express his emotions, talk about fears, traumas, and overcome such difficulties.

If quarrels or problems with mutual understanding arise very often in the family, or parents cannot find a common language with their child, only psychotherapy will help with this.

Age whims and hysterics

In its development, a child goes through several stages of psychological maturation. The transition from one stage to the next is accompanied by the so-called age crisis. This is a difficult time both for the baby himself and for his parents, since not all, but most children, age crises are accompanied by increased capriciousness and even hysteria.

2-3 years

At this age, the baby begins to recognize himself as a separate person. A period of denial begins, the baby strives to do everything the opposite, becomes stubborn and sometimes capricious for any reason. He seems to be testing the strength of those around him, testing the boundaries of what is permitted. That is why a capricious child at 2 or 3 years old is not at all uncommon. Many children's whims at this age could be avoided if children at the age of 2-3 were able to express emotions well in words. But the limited vocabulary of such a child, as well as the inability and lack of understanding of the principles of describing one’s feelings in words, lead to just such an inadequate reaction.

6-7 years

At this age children usually go to school. A change of team, a new daily routine different from the kindergarten one, and, most importantly, new demands from parents, often depress the child so much that he begins to be capricious and hysterical in protest. The most pronounced hysterics occur in those children who began to practice whims at the age of 2-3, and the parents failed to normalize the child’s behavior in a timely manner.

Parental misbehavior

The main mistake of mothers and fathers is that parents try to overcome the child’s excessive tearfulness, demanding that they stop crying, and sometimes ridiculing this state of the child, especially for boys. It is this upbringing that results in the child subsequently becoming unsure of himself and not perceiving himself.

In the future, the child’s psyche will become stronger, self-control will develop, and this condition will occur less and less. But it is very useful when communicating with him to emphasize the best aspects of life, gradually moving away from bad thoughts, not allowing him to stay with them for a long time.

If this condition appears suddenly in a child, then look for the cause in the presence of chronic stress. Getting used to kindergarten or school, quarrels in the family, divorce of parents, problems with other children - all this weakens the child’s psyche, making him emotional.

It is important to catch the exact cause of the child’s excessive tearfulness and deal with it together, and not just fight with tears.

It is worth remembering that this condition often occurs during age-related crises (one year, three years and seven years). Typically, it will go away on its own over time.

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Why do children cry?

Here are some reasons why a whiny child

gets upset to tears:

• Lack of attention. If parents spend little time with their children, they begin to experience attention deficit. In an effort to get it, they are ready to do anything, even hysterics, if only their mother would hug them and say a kind word. Children surrounded by the care and affection of loved ones, as a rule, rarely show instability or cry

• Vulnerability, . It was said above that a hypersensitive type of perception is characteristic of some children. The task of parents, educators, and teachers is to calmly and kindly explain to them that there are different situations in life. Even if something not entirely good happened, you shouldn’t be upset, because it ends. Gradually, the severity of the experience will decrease, and the child will stop crying over trifles.

• Harsh criticism from adults. Notice how you criticize your child? Do you want to hurt him more? Are you carried away by comparisons: “Igorek is a great guy, but you’re a chump and a poor student!”? A word can hurt more than physical punishment, and children are especially sensitive to this effect. Be more merciful to them, even if your parents once raised you this way

• . It has been noticed that a whiny child in a prosperous family is a rarity, and where quarrels are frequent, clarification of relations between parents is a common occurrence. Children do not feel safe in such an environment, so they are nervous and worried. Along with tearfulness, they may develop more serious emotional disorders

How to help your child cope with emotions?

First, understand what takes your child out of balance. If the cause is clear, all you have to do is fix it. For example, if these are the actions of some other child who is terrorizing yours, minimize their contacts, talk to the teacher or educator, explain to your own son or daughter how to properly respond to provocations.

Give your baby a feeling of protection: it comes when the child feels loved and needed. Hug him more often, say kind words, spend time with him.

Do not encourage attempts to manipulate you: if the baby cries to get away from a well-deserved punishment, let him calm down and have an educational conversation in an even voice.

Do not rush to console a child in a state of hysterics! Frantically demanding his own, he thus seeks to put pressure on you. Don't give in. And when he calms down, explain why you will not fulfill his request given this behavior.

Do not use the words “bawl-cow”, “crybaby-wax” and others, do not laugh at the child. By doing this you affect his sense of self-worth. Be constructive. Then the whiniest child ,

Eventually, he will learn to control himself.

Tears are a common reaction to some sad event; increased tearfulness is a symptom of mental or physical exhaustion. In the differential diagnosis, it is necessary to exclude brain diseases:

• multiple sclerosis,
• bulbar palsy,
• cerebral atherosclerosis.

In any case, a neurological examination is necessary. As a rule, in this case, along with drug therapy, psychotherapy is prescribed.