Material on the topic: HOW TO HELP A CHILD STUDY WELL? 12 TIPS FROM PSYCHOLOGISTS

What to do if a child does not want to study? This means that the child has already been “worked on” and his interest in studying has been “discouraged”. Who did it and how – let’s try to figure it out using the knowledge gained at the “System-Vector Psychology” training by Yuri Burlan. A teenager’s lack of desire to learn is only the tip of a hidden problem. What do parents do wrong when raising a child, and why does he not want to study?

Emotionless

In fact, there is no definite answer. And it won’t be possible to give it. Each child is an individual. Accordingly, in one case or another, the phenomenon being studied will have its own motives. Hidden or obvious - it doesn't matter. The main thing is their presence.

What to do if a child does not want to study? The first piece of advice that any psychologist will give is to remain calm. And assess the situation, analyze what is happening and the behavior of children without unnecessary emotions.

Often the topic of study is perceived painfully by parents. You can hear exclamations: “How come, he doesn’t want to study? Yes, I told him...” Next, as a rule, follows punishment or any other method of forcing the child to sit down at his textbooks. It is noted that such behavior will not be beneficial. On the contrary, it will only do harm. And for both the parent and the student.

Reward for the process, not the result

Harvard University professor Roland Fryer conducted a study on schoolchildren's performance. 36 thousand students from 250 schools took part in it. It turned out that the best effect on learning is the encouragement of specific actions - reading books, doing homework, being active in class. Grades increase for children who receive rewards for the process, and not for the final result, and the reward is not money or things.

Often it is enough to praise the child, go somewhere with him, and pay for activities that are interesting for him. But he should receive encouragement immediately, and not sometime later. The promise “If you pass the exam at the end of the year, you will get a new smartphone” does not have any effect. It is necessary to celebrate intermediate finishes, not the final.

The correct setting of goals disciplines and mobilizes well. No moral teachings, edifications or calls - “You must pass the Unified State Exam well!” - will not help if the child does not know what exactly to do. But if we say: “This week you must take two extra classes in physics, solve five problems in mathematics today, prepare a report on history,” this is already a specific plan of action, clear and understandable, for which you can ask.

Cognitive abilities are very important, but they do not determine everything. If you trace the fate of excellent and C students and see how their destinies turned out, it becomes clear that school achievements are not a guarantee of future success. Not all of my clients, many of whom are on Forbes lists, were excellent students at school and behaved well in class. Although, of course, it is easier to train an A student than to cultivate in a child perseverance, curiosity, the ability to communicate, cope with stress, and a creative approach to any task.

Bad grades are a sign of trouble, a bell that should make us stop, look at what is happening with the child, and help him cope with difficulties.

Collection of information

Does your child not want to study? A psychologist's advice regarding this situation is often directed specifically to parents. Their behavior often determines how much children strive to acquire new knowledge.

Before sounding the alarm, as well as coming up with ways that could interest or force a minor to take a more attentive and responsible attitude towards studying, it is recommended to collect as much information as possible about the student’s life. Even if the parents think that they already know everything. In practice it usually turns out that this is not the case.

Why don't children want to study? The reasons may vary. And the more the parent learns about the child’s life at school, about his feelings and experiences, the faster the situation can be resolved.

Difficulties

Now a little about the most common scenarios. Every action, as already said, has its own motive or reason. This is exactly what psychology says. Does your child not want to study?

The first reason why this happens is difficulties. Studying is the child's equivalent of work. And it’s often hard for a schoolchild. Sometimes the learning difficulties that a child faces exceed the everyday work life of an adult. And taking into account the fact that children do not yet know how to fight and do not have special resistance to stress, the scale of the problem becomes enormous.

Maybe the child simply does not learn the material well and cannot cope with assignments. Hence the reluctance to learn. This does not mean that the child is bad. And every parent should remember this truth.

Often a similar problem arises when transferring from one school to another. This is caused by differences in school curricula, as well as in teachers. Does your child not want to study? Psychologist's advice often emphasizes that children need to be helped to cope with learning difficulties.

How exactly? Can:

change school;
change teachers;
hire a tutor;
work independently with the child (but without unnecessary emotions, this is important).

Sometimes the best solution is to wait. As soon as the child gets comfortable at school, is able to cope with tasks and difficulties, he will have a desire to gain new knowledge.

Where to look for the reason if a child categorically refuses to study

When faced with such a problem, parents and teachers cannot always figure out its sources. Initially, productive learning may be hindered by primary causes that stem from early childhood. It is important to intensively communicate with the child from birth, to develop his attention, memory, and thinking. Moreover, all this should be done only in a playful way, involving the baby in a fun, exciting activity.

While playing, he develops coordination, fine motor skills, and learns to follow the rules of the game. Based on the innate characteristics of temperament, character should be formed from an early age. During the preschool period, the emotional-volitional sphere of the personality is formed, which is responsible for effective interaction with others.

It is important that children are psychologically prepared for entering school.

This will allow you to join the learning process painlessly and as efficiently as possible. By the time most children enter school, they are highly motivated, but imperfections in the education system can suppress an initially high interest in learning.

Remember!

Too strict rules, heavy workload, busy daily routine, lack of proper rest and play are important reasons that kill the desire to learn from early childhood.

Even with favorable preparation for school, motivation may disappear over time. This situation can be caused by the following secondary reasons:

an unfavorable family situation that contributes to emotional and nervous tension;
increased study load, lack of proper rest, monotony;
difficulties in adapting to changed learning conditions when changing classes or schools;
excessive demands from teachers and adults;
bad teenage company;
low social status among classmates, complex.

To determine the real reason for poor performance, you need to show maximum patience and attention.
It is better to seek help from a qualified psychologist who will help to conduct an in-depth analysis of the situation and determine the best ways to solve the problem.

Boredom

What to do if a child does not want to study? Don’t panic and don’t get emotional - this is the main thing. The rest of the situation is quite solvable. Especially when it comes to younger schoolchildren.

In general, studying is a very boring process. Parents who are faced with their children’s reluctance to learn often complain: “This is so interesting!” As a rule, such people simply forget themselves at school age.

As already mentioned, studying is an analogue of work. Maybe the child is just bored in class? For example, due to more knowledge. Or, conversely, children fall behind in the program, which is why they cannot understand anything in class. This is where boredom comes from. This is normal.

There are several ways to deal with the situation:

changing schools;
transferring the child to a “stronger” class;
tutoring and classes according to an individual program.

As soon as a child becomes interested in learning, he will do it with pleasure. This is how the human body works. You should always remember that children are not adults. Their concept of “should” has not yet been fully formed. Therefore, school should be interesting.

Set priorities

Noticing that children are tired and tired, parents often begin to give them medications to help them concentrate and improve their performance—in fact, they get them hooked on doping. I always warn against this. If the problem is excessive workload, you need to reduce it, give the child a break, and find the optimal pace of life for him. And don’t expect results right away - let him recover first.

It is necessary to carry out a kind of inventory - what the child is doing, where his energy goes and why there is no energy left for study. If he runs around in circles, as in Agnia Barto’s poem, he needs to think about what he should give up in order to focus on his studies.

All children are different, their abilities are individual, some are better at one thing, and others at another. And if a child is not doing well in school, he should know that he is not mediocre, not hopeless, there is always something he does well: one plays football well, another sings, a third draws, a fourth bakes pies. Therefore, in no case should you deprive your child of an activity that he likes and in which he feels successful.

I know a family where, due to poor grades, the boy was taken out of the hockey section, although he was one of the best on the team. And what did this give? The child was terribly upset, offended by his parents - after all, he was left without his favorite activity. The relationship was ruined, and he never began to study better. That area of the child’s life in which he felt confident, where he had real achievements, was cut off by his parents, and he found himself only in the role of a lagging behind, catching up, who has no choice but to follow others, and this is difficult, offensive, humiliating .

Conflicts

Does your child not want to study? How can I help him? It all depends on the situation. As already mentioned, it is important to identify the cause of the problem being studied. And there are many of them.

Often the desire to learn and go to school is discouraged by conflicts. For example, with classmates or teachers. In the first case, everything is more difficult than it seems. Conflicts with classmates are sometimes resolved quickly and independently. And in some cases they confuse even psychologists. Therefore, often, if a child has persistent problems with his “colleagues” in the class, it is necessary to either transfer the child to another class or change school altogether.

But in case of conflicts with teachers, you can correct the situation. And parents should do this. It is important to find out the cause of the “quarrel”, and then take any action. Usually people just change teachers. But sometimes you can just talk to the teacher and influence him. It also happens that the students and the teacher “do not get along in character.” This option confuses psychologists, parents, and school management. As already mentioned, usually the decision is simply made to change teachers.

A 14-year-old child does not want to study

Mom is raising two sons alone. The older brother is already working. The teenager is 14, he plays sports, wants to become a sports coach, but is not sure that this profession will be needed in society in the future. The thought that sports will be replaced by gadgets, will lead you astray from your intended path, and raises doubts about your studies. “Is it necessary to study at all, and what will this study give me in life?” - asks the teenager. When a child expresses a desire to help his mother at work, she cuts him off, sternly declaring that his job is to study.

Psychologist's recommendations:

Such a parent, feeling sorry for his child, says: “I started working early, and the house was on me, I don’t want my son to be burdened with unnecessary work.” And when the child expresses his desire to help his mother, she immediately cuts him off: “You’ll have to work harder, your job is to study.”

Learning is understandable, but why discourage doing something else? Man is desire. If a child has others besides the desire to learn, that’s great. He does not understand why one desire can be more important than another. After all, all desires are important.

Through their satisfaction, a person feels the fullness of life and strives to achieve more.

By suppressing one desire, you can block the desire to achieve other goals, for example, to study. It is advisable for parents to learn to maintain a golden mean in their statements, to be less categorical in their instructions, to support, understand and gently direct the irrepressible teenage energy in the right direction.

It is important to give the child the opportunity to exercise independence and take responsibility for their actions. Give the opportunity to solve problems yourself, take actions, even if, in the mother’s opinion, they seem wrong. Encourage positive actions in accordance with its vectors. Praise a child with an anal vector for his successes. A son with a skin vector can be encouraged financially.

When parents do not know the vector characteristics of their children, it is difficult for them to find an approach to them, to find the golden mean in education, not to go too far with punishment and not to go too far with encouragement. In order not to make mistakes with parenting methods, the mother is recommended to take Yuri Burlan’s training “System-vector psychology.”

If a child does not want to study, this is a complex problem, not only his personal problem, but also that of his parents. Therefore, it must be solved together. Sometimes changing the mother's outlook towards the child can completely eliminate the problem. She stops demanding from him unnecessary things, things that are not characteristic of him, but pays attention to the strengths of his character and abilities.

Needs

Modern children do not want to study - many experts cite this fact. Moreover, the problem extends to children of different ages. A lack of interest in new knowledge among preschool children is becoming more and more common.

There is an explanation for everything. Why doesn't a child want to study? The reasons, as can be seen, are varied. If we talk specifically about the modern generation, then most likely they simply do not have a need for new knowledge.

But the origins of this phenomenon are progress in the field of modern technology. Children of all ages are becoming addicted to gadgets. Technology and games are what even preschoolers want. They simply have no desire to study, only to create.

In general, dependence on gadgets deprives children of curiosity. If a child does not want to learn to write, as well as simply go to school and gain new knowledge, this is the fault of modern parents. The only advice that psychologists give is to avoid dependence on gadgets and modern technology, and not to accustom children to smartphones and tablets from the cradle. And if addiction already exists, you will have to fight it. But you can’t immediately deprive your child of a computer, TV, tablet, phone and other “charms” of modern technology. This will only make the situation worse. It is important to carefully limit children’s time spent with gadgets.

Reasons for not wanting to go to school

There are not many of them, but parents need to understand what exactly is causing the problem in their case and take timely measures. If you let the situation take its course, you can create serious problems for your child.

Difficulty communicating with classmates

Children are often cruel. They are not able to look at a situation from several sides like adults. Thus, they cannot objectively evaluate their behavior and understand what consequences it may have.

Bullying by classmates can be due to various reasons. Sometimes these are some external shortcomings or complexities. Sometimes children do not want to be friends with their peers because of his difficult character or inappropriate behavior.

When a child joins a new team, he usually wants to show his best side. If he is afraid of rejection, then he seems to be proactive, defending himself with an attack. Such behavior is unconscious and often has a distorted form. The guys may not understand such impudence and start bullying in response.

Most often, the child who is already familiar with this fears fear of rejection. As a rule, these are children who encounter such attitudes towards themselves in their own families. For example, one of the parents does not respect him, may allow himself to hit or insult him, or demonstrates hostility.

If your son or daughter is in conflict with classmates, it is important to understand the reasons for the discord as quickly as possible. Perhaps the child himself is wrong, but do not rush to blame him. It is quite possible that he is afraid of punishment and deliberately distorts the picture. It is necessary to listen carefully to each side and only then make a decision.

Not interested in studying

Children are usually very curious. These are little things that want to know everything in the world. If you lose interest in learning, then, as a rule, this occurs in the following cases:

The student has a gap in knowledge, falling behind the program. This can happen even to an intelligent and developed child. For example, due to health problems or family circumstances.
Sometimes the curriculum does not keep up with a child who is interested in news and spends a lot of time reading. Such children grow out of the old program, as if out of an old uniform.
The student’s abilities simply do not correspond to the general direction of learning, or his weak intellectual abilities are an obstacle to adequate perception of information. He tries, but he doesn't succeed. He is unable to complete the school curriculum at a sufficient level, which is why the motivation to study disappears.

Teacher's antipathy

Often, dislike for school is explained by the dissonance of temperament between the student and the teacher. Most often, this situation occurs in primary school. For example, a loud and domineering teacher can suppress a timid child with low self-esteem. If the teacher is too calm, he may not be able to establish contact with the nimble mischief-maker.

Such problems usually lead to poor academic performance, and then to the disappearance of all interest in studying. It is necessary to know and understand the child's temperament. If your son or daughter is restless from the first days of life, you need to be prepared for the fact that such a child will require much more attention than a balanced and calm student.

You should know that hyperactive children:

They do not recognize authorities;
They are distinguished by unbridled curiosity;
Easily switch from one task to another.

The task for adults is to teach them to concentrate on one thing for a long time. This skill will help him a lot at school. Of course, the task is not easy; you will need to be smart and use all your imagination to achieve the desired result. Otherwise, attempts to interest the child in studying will not be successful.

Other reasons

When experiencing their first crush, a son or daughter often refuses to go to school. In this case, you don’t need to do anything with the child. The baby will survive the lack of reciprocity in love, although it will be a great stress for him. A parent can only try to explain to the little person that this happens in life, and love failure is not at all a reason to avoid attending school.

It happens that family troubles are to blame. If mother and father get divorced or one of them dies, this is always perceived by the baby as a big tragedy. Due to family problems, he may give up. Motivation to learn may disappear due to lack of proper attention and control from parents. Thus, without feeling support from adults, the child does not want to go to school.

What to do with reasons of this kind is quite clear: you need to start paying attention to the child so that he feels important and needed. It would be useful to visit a child psychologist if the family situation is difficult. When father and mother constantly quarrel, this inevitably affects the child, who unwittingly becomes stressed.

If he gets involved with bad company, and there is no control on the part of the mother and father, the situation can be very difficult. The adults are at fault here.

Health

In fact, if a child does not want to study (first grade or any other - this is not so important), problems can be hidden in the less obvious nuances of a person’s life.

Does your child or teenager get tired quickly even from simple tasks? Does he get very tired without putting much effort into certain things? It is possible that parents will have to sound the alarm. After all, such behavior is a consequence of health problems. It is this reason that parents tend to forget.

Accordingly, as soon as the child is 100% healthy, the desire and need for new knowledge will appear. But this is only the case when there are no other causes of the problem being studied.

Load

The school curriculum is a variable “value”. She changes all the time. Just like the workload at school. Every parent should take this fact into account. The school curriculum in modern schools is significantly different from what it was in Soviet times.

Does your child not want to study at all? This behavior is often a clear sign of fatigue. Sooner or later, every tired person burns out. He needs rest. Only in this case will it be possible to return the desire for learning and new knowledge.

Parents should do everything to reduce the burden on their child. This does not mean that you will have to do all the homework for the student. But helping and supporting your child, allowing him to rest and relax after school is a must.

An interesting fact: sometimes the desire to learn is “discouraged” by the workload that falls on the child after school. For example, various sections and clubs, as well as housework, helping parents (say, looking after younger brothers and sisters). It is necessary to unload the child in every sense. As long as a student is tired, he will not have the desire to study.

Inability to concentrate

Of course, the age of the child is considered an important factor influencing the child’s behavior. It will have to be taken into account. And come to terms with it. After all, growing up is a gradual and long process. Each age has its own characteristics. They are often accompanied by problems and failures. Including at school.

Is the child 6 years old? Doesn't want to study? You shouldn’t scold a newly graduated student, but you also shouldn’t leave the situation unattended. It is important to understand that at 6-7 years old children simply do not know how to concentrate on anything for a long time. Except at the game. But sitting for several hours and listening to the teacher is not an easy task for a child.

Psychologists and scientists assure that children can perceive information normally in class, as well as fully learn, only by the age of 12. Around this age, the child develops “control”; he learns to sit still for a long time and listen, to delve into the essence of the story. You cannot demand this from a junior student.

Pull up neglected items

When some item is neglected and it is not clear how to approach it, you can use what I call the “Swiss cheese technique”: if you have a wall of problems in front of you, you must first scroll through two or three holes in it, and then gradually, step by step increase their size until the wall collapses.

In our case, we need to determine which subjects are now the most important and which topics the child has not mastered, what needs to be improved, and then move on to specific actions - deal with one neglected paragraph from the textbook, then proceed to the next, and so on.

Of course, it will take time and patience, but we will see how the child’s attitude towards classes changes: as soon as he begins to understand and assimilate the material, fear disappears, confidence in his abilities appears, and with it interest in learning. If the subject is difficult and we cannot help ourselves, then we need to temporarily hire a tutor.

It happens that parents force their child to study a difficult subject for two hours at a time and make sure that he does not get distracted. But few people can focus on anything for that long. The child sits for these two hours, suffers, begins to secretly do other things, continuing to pretend to be a worker - and things are still there...

Therefore, it is important to find the best way to work independently. You can decompose a big thing into a chain of small ones. For example, I read the statement of the problem, sat and thought for ten minutes (you can set an hourglass or turn on a timer), then took a short break, drank tea or jumped, played with the cat. Then he concentrated again and solved the problem to the end.

It is necessary to teach the child, after strong concentration, to switch to a short rest and again to maximum concentration.

Children are “forced” to learn primarily by positive emotions and success. The child achieves something, he develops faith in his own strength, it gives him the energy to move on. If we help him feel successful - in any activity, be it sports, music, drawing, poetry - then this success will become a trigger, a locomotive that will pull the rest, including school grades. And most importantly, it will return the child’s desire to learn.

Transitional age

Does your child (13 years old) not want to study? This problem is widespread all over the world. Parents of teenagers often note that their children simply stop striving for learning and knowledge. They "slip" in grades, don't do homework and even skip classes!

Unfortunately, most mothers and fathers choose not the most correct tactics of behavior, which causes even more harm. After all, at the age of 12-13, puberty begins, a new stage in personality development. A period of rebellion and disagreement. During adolescence, problems with learning are normal.

It is important for parents at this moment not to “press” the child, but to help the student cope with the difficulties of adolescence. This technique helps maintain relationships with children and also improves academic performance. You can hire a tutor, but without fanaticism. Children at any age should have time to rest.

A 12-year-old child does not want to study

My daughter is 12 years old and she doesn’t want to study. She ignores her mother's requests to help around the house and has stopped doing her homework. When talking, she is aloof and may start drawing faces on her lap. Requests, persuasion, admonishment and even shouting do not help. The girl is being raised by her mother and stepfather, and has a younger sister.

Constant demands and reproaches, insults in a raised voice lead to the fact that the child stops responding to words and becomes abstracted. He sits down to do his homework, while his head is in the clouds, drawing.

The girl has a visual vector that is not developing properly. The talent for drawing was abandoned just like participation in the theater group. After which I lost interest in studying. She stopped reading books, although she loved this activity as a child.

Psychologist's recommendation:

Channel your child's energy in the right direction. To educate and develop the girl’s natural talents. Involve in reading classical literature. This will help develop sensitivity, create an internal moral core and set the right guidelines for choosing a future profession.

In order for a mother to better understand how to raise children correctly and not make mistakes in raising children, it is recommended to take the training “System-vector psychology” by Yuri Burlan. This will help her maintain an internal harmonious state and give her children a sense of security and safety.

A 13-year-old child does not want to study

Parents are divorced. The father does not take any part in raising his son. Doesn't pay child support. The mother works hard, tries to provide the child with everything he needs and make up for the father’s lack. The boy does not need anything, but is very offended by his father for abandoning them. He envies his classmates who have complete families. It was after the divorce that the teenager stopped paying attention to his studies and began to study poorly.

Psychologist's recommendations:

The child depends on the mother’s mood and condition. A mother, offended by her husband, passes the condition on to her child. Children are a reflection of their parents. But they should not be blamed for this, as parents often do, comparing their son’s behavior with the act of a father who abandoned his family.

Mom should take Yuri Burlan’s training “System-vector psychology.” She needs to get rid of bad conditions, fears for the future, resentment towards her husband, learn to understand herself and be happy. Then the child will feel and become infected with enthusiasm. His desires will not be blocked by screams, mother’s irritation, unnecessary control and bad mood.

Stop comparing the boy's character with his father's behavior. Through the court, obtain payment of alimony. Learn to understand what is hidden behind every word, action, behind every “I want” and “I don’t want” a son. Only when a mother understands a child more than he does himself, is she able to align his internal state, direct his thoughts to satisfy natural desires and develop talents, and return interest in learning.

Motivation

Any process, as already mentioned, has its own reasons. For children, as for adults, motivation is important. A living organism will not engage in anything if it does not have a need and motive for it.

Accordingly, it is important for parents to “stir up” the child’s interest in learning. Very often in practice there are situations where failures are punished, and successes are taken for granted. Such behavior will eventually lead to the child not wanting to study further. Psychologists also note that some mothers and fathers do not consider good grades to be an achievement or even a proper thing, but bad grades promise serious consequences for the student.

Yes, in any action of parents there should be rigor and seriousness, but in moderation. Psychologists advise putting yourself in the child’s place: if there is no motivation to complete certain tasks, will an adult perform them? No. Children behave exactly the same way.

Fortunately, it is possible to motivate your child to learn. But each student needs an individual approach. For some, extra pocket money can be a good motivation, for others, just praise or a family dinner, sweets as a reward for success are enough, and for some, shopping motivates them. In particular, large ones. But this option is good for great success. For example, if you finish a quarter with honors, you will receive the latest model gaming computer. The main thing is to always keep your word and not deceive the child.

Parents often believe that punishments and “belts” are the main motivation for learning. If a child is kept in fear, he will learn even through force, succeed and make progress. In fact, such behavior will lead to the destruction of contact with the student, sometimes even for life. Therefore, you should not choose such tactics.

HOW TO HELP A CHILD STUDY WELL? 12 TIPS BY PSYCHOLOGISTS material on the topic

HOW TO HELP A CHILD STUDY WELL? 12 TIPS FROM PSYCHOLOGISTS

Absolutely all parents want their children to study well, because the thirst for knowledge is the key to a prosperous future for the child. If he studies hard and learns his lessons properly, then after graduating from school he will be able to enter a prestigious institute, and later find a well-paid job.

Unfortunately, not all parents strive to help a student with his studies, believing that he is able to cope on his own. But this is a big mistake. It is important to take part in children's learning. And the point is not to hire a tutor or buy a homework book.

Tips for parents:

Try to communicate more with your child. Teach him to accurately formulate his thoughts, express his opinion and his own point of view, and logically present the material received. These skills will be useful later in life.
Help expand your worldview and enrich your vocabulary. If your child has questions, don’t be lazy to answer. Even if you are busy, try to set aside some time. If you don’t know the answer to a question, invite your child to look for a solution together on the Internet or in a book.
You need to communicate with a primary school student as often as possible about what is happening at school and in the yard. Do not hesitate to once again find out about his problems and help solve them. Just don’t need to go and decide personally. This way you will not only undermine the student’s reputation in front of his peers, but also lower his self-esteem.
Teach your child to use information from scientific publications and books. Let him sign up for the library. By reading, a person learns to correctly express thoughts, compose sentences, and develop imagination. Let your student read not only what is assigned according to the program. A student's performance will improve if he engages in self-education.
Analyze the news together. Everything that happens in the world should not be ignored. Many children think that reading newspapers or watching news on TV is a waste of time. But it is important to be able to navigate the economy and politics of your country and the world as a whole. If the school curriculum includes subjects such as economics, history or political science, then after studying the theory the child will be able to give examples from life. A student who is aware of the latest events is guaranteed good grades!
Take an interest in your child’s school life: how he prepares for lessons, how he behaves in class, what kind of relationships he has with classmates and teachers, whether he is keeping up with the program. Review your homework and diary together. Just don’t overdo it in your control. Some children may do the opposite out of spite. Don't scold your child for getting a grade lower than you expected. It’s better to support him and say that next time he will definitely answer “5” in class. And help him achieve this result.
Do not reproach the student and do not compare him with other children in any way. What kind of person would want to try to be better if he will always compete with someone? Your child is a separate person. And his merits or failures are his personal affairs, which should not be compared with other people's children.
Don't make fun of your child. Many parents don’t even notice how they kill the student’s desire to learn and develop. For example, if he shows an essay for testing that seems naive and funny to adults, you can’t tell him about it. Has a student started writing poems or stories, but they clearly don’t work for him? Praise them for their efforts and tactfully tell them what needs to be improved in their work. No one is born a genius, but talent must be developed.
Do not interfere with the student's extracurricular activities. Give him a separate workplace and don’t make any noise when he’s working.
Allocate time for study and relaxation. Let the child do his homework first, and then go for a walk. But don’t force him to study lessons if you see that he is tired or sick. Let me put things aside for a while and relax.
We need to talk more with high school students about problems and internal experiences. Together, analyze everything that happens in school and everyday life. Be for him not only a parent, but also a best friend who will always listen, support and help with good advice. This attitude is important for a son or daughter at any age.
Monitor the student's nutrition. If he is undernourished or eats unhealthy foods, his academic performance will decline. Let there be no fast food or an abundance of carbonated drinks in your diet. If necessary, buy vitamins that strengthen the immune system. Then the child will be less sick and will be able to attend school regularly. This is important for good academic performance, because it is not always possible to master the missed material on your own.

In conclusion, I would like to say that good grades are not the most important thing in a child’s life. Don't make a student a genius if he really doesn't have that ability. Let him learn to the best of his ability. Half of your academic success depends on your family environment.

Find the time and opportunity to study together, and if you yourself are not strong in a particular subject, find a tutor. A professional will teach the child to understand complex formulas and solve mathematical problems. After all, the main thing is not to memorize the material, but to understand it. Then there will be no problems with academic performance.

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Control

The last scenario is also quite common. Does your child not want to study? The psychologist's advice indicates that it is important to give children a rest, to motivate them to learn without intimidation and intimidation, without neglect. But at the same time, it is important to remember one truth - less control.

The point is that excessive control over the child’s progress leads to the fact that children do not want to study. Especially if everything revolves around studies and the educational process. The child begins to think that only education is important for parents. And all other areas of life, feelings and experiences of children are nothing. Therefore, the desire to learn disappears completely. Sometimes it takes decades to restore it.

Sometimes parents completely control every step of the student, thereby holding themselves responsible for all the child’s actions. It is not right. This behavior only discourages the desire to study and gain new knowledge. From now on it is clear what to do if a child does not want to study. The main thing to remember is that punishment and scolding are not at all what will help improve the situation in most cases.

Now do you understand why children don’t want to study? The reasons are so varied and depend on such a huge number of factors that you can never say for sure that you are developing a “boobus”.

Child, teenager does not want to study

All day long the child does anything but study. He's kicking a ball around with the guys. Watches videos on the Internet. Plays computer games. All these meaningless activities are interesting to children who are either not interested in studying or have lost interest in it. A child who is unable to overcome the difficulties of studying loses his desire for it.

During adolescence, boys gather in flocks and try to rank among the group. Girls strive to please boys by exercising their ability to form pair relationships.

Puberty is a difficult period. Childhood is ending, but it is still difficult to take responsibility for your life. A teenager is just getting a taste of adult life. Checks parents to see if certain actions are permissible.

The child distances himself from his parents, wants freedom, self-sufficient actions, but, as in childhood, he needs support, support and love. Confidence that he will not be pushed away, betrayed, or abandoned to his fate.

While the child was small, the mother could help him with his homework and monitor him. In adolescence, excessive control and admonishment from parents causes resistance in their child. He no longer feels like a child, he has his own opinion, his own boundaries, and he demands, resisting parental control and pressure, respect for himself and his interests.

When a child in the process of development has not learned to work and overcome laziness, he may not be able to realize what he wants. Then he falls into apathy, internally experiencing failure alone with himself. If failure to achieve what you want is repeated, desire turns into frustration and apathy may occur.

Psychologically, unsatisfied desire causes anger, irritability, aggression and even hatred. A child can throw out negativity on others, or he can withdraw into himself and go into the virtual world.

Why children don't want to study - reasons

Lack of prospects for the future, as labor is devalued by nepotism and corruption. Social elevators are occupied by the children of officials and public figures; positions held are inherited. Why study if the future is not what you want?
The world is changing rapidly, and professions in demand today will eventually disappear altogether. What activities will be needed in the future? What skills will be in demand? Children want to know this, but they are offered an outdated education system and a hopeless future. Children cannot be deceived. They sense lies better than any adult. And what is offered to them today is no longer new or interesting.
Unhappy parents and, first of all, mothers. Fathers who do not want to take part in upbringing and do not help mothers financially. Children see that many people are below the poverty line on the margins of life, and these are intelligent and educated people. Many adults are in apathy, unable to work for the good of the country, which is ruled by the rulers of destinies who deceive their people and are not interested in their well-being. Adults do not see prospects for the future. Apathetic people resign themselves to this life and cannot do anything for their country. Teenagers see this. The general passivity of adults affects the development of children.
Parents shout at their children and quarrel among themselves. Children are left to their own devices. And attention is paid to them when problems arise with studies, behavior, when teachers begin to complain. What do parents do? They read lectures, give instructions, and cite the generation of their peers as examples. But modern children are different. They see more, they have greater desires, so the examples are drowned in a lack of understanding of what they want from them.
Money replaces emotional connections. The desire of parents to provide the child with everything necessary results in the child ceasing to feel his own desires. When he has everything and even more than he needs, there is no need to desire anything more. When, at the slightest desire, it is instantly satisfied by a kind and loving mother, there is no need to achieve anything on your own.
A child is not taught to work from childhood. On the one hand, the mother demands from the child that he study, help around the house, and look after his younger brothers and sisters. On the other hand, it does not allow him to dream, desire and make efforts himself to achieve what he wants.
Foul language, which has become firmly established in everyday speech, affects the soul with arousal of aggression and becomes a prerequisite for impaired psycho-sexual development. Speaking obscenities, hearing obscenities from peers and adults, from the computer and TV screens, the child understands that base aggressive instincts are coming to the surface. Such a child becomes an adult before his term, without ripening, like an unripe apricot picked before its term, which will never ripen and will not bring anyone any joy or benefit.
Children do not like to break away from the group or stand out in some way. They often behave like the majority because it is safe. When the need for protection and safety cannot be provided by parents and school, the child is forced to defend himself. The best defense is to be like everyone else. Because together it’s not scary. “One for all and all for one” - in a negative context encourages not to break away from the team, to be like everyone else. How everyone swears, protests against studying, destroying their own lives and the lives of those around them, thereby showing adults that they are not fulfilling their direct responsibility - to protect and raise children.

The child does not want to go to school because he feels bad

The potential of modern children is great. The pleasure of realizing this potential is enormous. But when a child does not want to learn, talents and abilities are not realized, they do not find application, the brain is not involved in learning, the sensory sphere of life does not develop, and social connections are not built. The teenager is suffering.

By nature, any child wants to learn, but internal states can distract him from studying. He falls into a vicious circle. On the one hand, there is a desire to learn and it demands its own, but on the other hand, hormonal changes and emerging complexes associated with appearance and behavior distract and prevent you from concentrating on lessons.

Suffering causes unsatisfied desires and potential abilities pressing from within. Sometimes suffering reaches such intensity that it leads the teenager to blame life for it, depriving himself of this life as a source of pain.

The most severe internal pain occurs in children with a sound vector. Their desires lie on an intangible plane and are expressed in the desire to understand the meaning of life and themselves. Such a child more often than others does not understand what he wants and cannot decide on his future profession. He is not interested in what people live with: family, success, fame, knowledge. I want something intangible, revealing the secrets of existence and answers to the question: Who am I?

Screaming and insults from parents can be a great danger to development and block the desire to learn. A child with a sound vector can be traumatized in such a way that he not only stops learning, but withdraws into himself, shuts down, and becomes depressed.

Depression can be accompanied by thoughts of death, causing severe internal suffering.

This child has a sensitive ear. Parents need to think carefully about what they say. Loud noises, scandals, and conversations in raised voices aggravate the condition. When the sound vector is exposed to sounds that traumatize the ear, its psyche breaks down. The child not only loses the desire to learn, he doesn’t want anything at all. He can stare mindlessly at the ceiling or computer monitor and suffer.

A lot depends on the teachers. The relationship between teachers at school and a teenager means a lot. If you impose on a child tasks that do not correspond to his innate qualities, belittle his successes and expose his failures to other students, you can discourage the desire to learn forever.