Sexually transmitted diseases
The very first and obvious thing is that you can become infected with some kind of disease. No protection will give a 100% guarantee that promiscuity will not end in STDs. And having picked up something, it is very easy to pass this sore on to your rightful half.
Moreover, for this it is not necessary to get involved with girls of questionable behavior. Even decent-looking people can pick up something without knowing it. You can ask for a certificate before bed, but this will scare off applicants.
Some diseases do not manifest themselves at first, so you will not even know that you have become a carrier. And when the first symptoms appear, it will be too late.
Unplanned pregnancy
Sex produces children, even if you didn’t plan to have them. And so far they have not come up with a single remedy that could guarantee 100% protection. Also, one should not discount stories when people purposefully refuse contraception in order to attach a lover.
Pregnancy often comes at the most inopportune times.
Wife's pregnancy
If an unfaithful wife becomes pregnant, the situation becomes very difficult. There is not a single decision that can be made without serious consequences for the woman herself and for her family.
- Maintains pregnancy . In such a situation, all participants in this triangle suffer at once - the mother suffers from pangs of conscience, her husband is raising someone else’s child, the lover does not have the right to see his child, and the baby has been living in a lie since childhood. The constant fear of exposure will prevent the cheater from completely immersing herself in motherhood, which is why the baby will feel her detachment.
- Confesses to her husband . Some women cannot decide to have an abortion, but they also cannot lie for the rest of their lives. This is especially true in situations where the lover is of a different race or is very different from the husband’s appearance. The chances that a man will forgive his wife and agree to raise someone else’s child are very low. Most likely, he will abandon the traitor, and the family will be destroyed.
- Has an abortion . Modern medicine has reduced all the risks for a woman in connection with this operation, but the consequences for the body are still very serious. Added to the hormonal changes are the psychological experiences of an unsuccessful mother - some women find it difficult to realize that they killed their child. Feelings of guilt, painful sensations, hormone surges - it is difficult to hide such a storm of emotions from your husband. You need to come up with a good excuse for your trip to the doctors and your subsequent condition.
The worst thing is when the truth about the stepchild is revealed to the husband several years later. He lived with a traitor for so many years, and even brought up the result of her betrayal. Few people are able to maintain a good relationship with their child after this.
If the lover is of a different race, it is better to immediately confess everything to your husband.
The baby's life will also be destroyed - either the father will leave without any explanation, or he will realize that he has lived a lie all his life. Psychological trauma is guaranteed.
No one's life will ever be the same.
In this regard, the consequences of female infidelity are much more serious than male infidelity.
Pregnancy of her husband's mistress
Women often try to take a man away from the family through pregnancy. If the lover is decent, and his wife and he have not yet had time to have children, he can, out of a sense of decency, marry his mistress.
Another situation is that she finds out about her situation too late. There are few women who would silently step aside in such a situation so as not to ruin the man’s family.
More often than not, the situation is not so rosy for the family of the traitor:
- Alimony. It is very difficult for a single mother to raise a child. If the man is wealthy, she will try to get money for a common baby.
- The man leaves the family. A child completely changes the relationship between lovers. If he has long wanted to become a dad, but it didn’t work out with his wife, he may well leave his wife and go to another woman. Sometimes, out of a sense of duty, men even leave for an unloved woman, just so that the child does not grow up fatherless.
- Gives the child to the man. There can be many reasons for such an act - from the desire to arrange your personal life without a burden to the desire to give your child a more prosperous life. In any case, such a gift will clearly not please the legal wife of the traitor.
In any situation, the family of an unfaithful man will feel the full consequences of this betrayal.
Adultery
They occur quite often, but the reaction to them in men and women is completely different.
If a man cheated on his wife, but breaking up with her is not part of his plans, at best he will suffer from remorse for a month or two, and after six months he will be almost ready for a new affair. And it is quite possible that each subsequent one will be accompanied by an increasingly shorter period of mental torment. Such is male nature. It's different for women. Even if her husband took the side not for the first time, but for the tenth time, she will perceive each new case as the final collapse of all life’s hopes. The woman will feel for the hundredth time a universal catastrophe, experience what a person feels when he finds himself under a multi-ton asphalt roller: I am crushed, life has left me.
Psychologists
They advise those who find themselves in a similar life situation, first of all, as they say, to take a time out. That is, to stop on the edge of the abyss, into which sometimes you just want to jump. Stop and just calm down, distract yourself, although this is not easy. The best thing is to leave; at a distance, many things are perceived differently.
The question of how to live further, is it worth saving relationships and family
, can only be thought about in a state of relative calm. Therefore, do not rush to declare your unconditional decision to leave or separate. The pain that tears at the soul in the event of a man’s betrayal is understandable, but there is only one life, and you need to think about how to choose the right decision. And it doesn’t necessarily have to be a decision to end the relationship.
Depending on the psychophysical properties of a particular person, life experience, level of education, and other numerous factors, each person interprets what happened in his own way, evaluates the fact of betrayal differently, based on the properties of his character and attitude towards his partner or spouse, trust in him. And if the time has come for the desired balance, if you feel the strength, guided not only by emotions, but also by reason, to analyze the causes and consequences, try to apply the most common causes of adultery to your situation.
Consequences for children
No matter how carefully parents encrypt, children very subtly sense falsehood in a relationship. The adultery of their mother or father will definitely affect them.
Children should not see their parents cheating.
The consequences can be long-term, and the child is not always aware of the reasons for his behavior, but this can result in a whole bunch of problems:
- negative relationships with parents due to broken trust;
- problems in relationships with the opposite sex;
- reluctance to start a family in order to avoid betrayal by a spouse;
- he will begin to cheat on his significant other, as he will consider this normal behavior;
- will forgive the betrayal of his spouse, because he will believe that in families it is impossible to do otherwise, etc.
It is impossible to predict exactly how parental betrayal will affect the child’s psyche and worldview. However, for some children this comes easily and it does not leave an imprint on them. But who knows which group your child belongs to? Is his future worth risking?
Why do women cheat
It's no secret that many men do not value their wives at all. Moreover, as time passes, they completely stop paying attention to them. And women want attention and affection. Everything is quite simple.
How does a woman cheat? The psychology of the behavior of an unfaithful wife may not be entirely clear. On the one hand, the lady becomes cold and insensitive towards her husband, but at the same time, the latter will try to hide the betrayal from her chosen one.
What will this behavior lead to? Sooner or later she will admit to cheating, or her husband will figure it out himself.
Why do women start cheating on their spouses? This only happens because of the inattention or bad attitude of men towards their wives.
A woman cheats because she is looking for something better, and a man cheats because he wants to find something new. The difference here is, of course, obvious. Therefore, if a woman feels loved and desired, she will never cheat on her husband. All men should know about this.
Financial expenses
This is especially true for male infidelities - they often spend decent amounts of money on their mistresses. After all, it is common in society for men to pay for women. And some ladies date married people just so that someone will provide for them.
Extra expenses are difficult to avoid:
- Hotels and inns for love pleasures;
- Trips to restaurants and dinners;
- Gifts for holidays and keepsakes;
- Bouquets of flowers, etc.
Some wealthy men rent an apartment for their girlfriends so that they always have a safe place to meet.
Men don't skimp on mistresses.
As a result, the family budget is scattered on third-party entertainment, on other people. Such behavior clearly will not suit a faithful spouse, especially if he (s) earns more.
The consequences of a wife's infidelity for the family wallet are not so serious. And in some cases, she may even save money, receive gifts or a salary increase.
There is a problem
Very many male natures, not being able to analyze the state of the relationship with the woman they love, experiencing dissatisfaction, sometimes on a subconscious, intuitive level, decide to take a simple step, in their opinion, which should make the woman feel this dissatisfaction. And this step is treason
. For some reason they don’t take their wife’s hand, don’t look into her eyes with a question, don’t offer to discuss mutual complaints and comments, but it’s like a blow to the head - bam! And then, seeing that things are taking a sharp turn, and his beloved, but not always understanding, wife is standing on the threshold, they fall into a stupor.
If a woman has enough wisdom to figure it out, accept this story as a lesson, not put herself in a pose, and, of course, after waiting a certain period of time for warning, forgive her husband and continue to be more attentive, tolerant, ready to take steps forward, everything can still get better to mutual agreement.
Waste of time
Relationships on the side take time anyway. At best, meetings will be limited only to love pleasures, which will not last long. But often the betrayal drags on, and the couple begins to spend more and more time together.
A mistress may be offended if a man comes to her only for one thing. She also wants gentle words, conversations, and lying down hugging after sex.
Some even go on vacation with their mistresses.
And the more time spent on third-party connections, the less left for the family. As a result, the distance between the spouses grows, the children do not see the parent, and the cheater becomes further and further from the family.
Public opinion
Society is accustomed to male infidelity and, for the most part, pities the cheating spouse. She is a victim of his polygamous nature, courageously endures his antics and graciously forgives for the sake of preserving his family and children.
But things are completely different with female infidelity - the deceived man is called a “deer.” If he tolerates his wife’s behavior like this, turns a blind eye, or forgives after one mistake, he will be considered a doormat and henpecked
Female infidelity in the public understanding is much more terrible than male infidelity.
Often men are frightened by women's infidelities because of their own reputation. After all, her trips to the left show that he is not good enough. And the man is definitely not able to forgive this.
So, for example, they conducted a survey among men - could they forgive their wife for cheating? And it turned out that 93% of husbands forgive unfaithful wives if no one knows about the betrayal.
The problem is within
This is the case when one of the partners is tormented by complexes. If, for example, you do not want to move from the state of falling in love to the stage of a more serious relationship
, a young man can, as they say, out of fear, throw himself into the pool of betrayal, realizing that such behavior will save him from an unwanted marriage or psychological bondage, which many men organically cannot tolerate.
For others, constant betrayal is a sure way to increase self-esteem and their rating in the eyes of friends. To some this may seem boyish, but from the point of view of male psychology it is quite natural.
Treason
- not always betrayal. No matter how painful it may be to learn about betrayal, do not forget that it is only a case, only a fact. Let your heart tell you how to treat him. In order to forgive a person, it always requires more mental strength and courage than slamming doors in front of him.
Feelings of shame and guilt
Not everyone is able to change and sleep peacefully. Those who have a conscience find it difficult to cope with the consequences of their own betrayals. Often they limit themselves to one single betrayal, often accidental, and then spend their entire lives reproaching themselves for it.
Guilt is the worst punishment.
Psychological discomfort can seriously ruin your life with a burden of guilt and shame. Seeing loving eyes, listening to declarations of love, compliments - all this becomes unbearable due to the heavy burden on the soul.
Such nervous experiences have a serious impact on health - insomnia, nervous tics and other nervous diseases appear. Most often, such people cannot stand it and admit their infidelity to their husband or wife. And even after receiving forgiveness they will not be able to forgive themselves.
Love is gone
Most often, a woman perceives her husband’s infidelity as evidence that his love for her has faded and he needs a new partner. If a man does not have the strength to be the first to declare this, to explain himself, but prefers to arrange a new relationship behind his wife’s back, this speaks volumes. In this case, the main thing is to make sure that this is really the case, that he has actually lost the feeling of love and affection.
A real man builds his behavior in such a situation a little differently. First, he explains, leaves, and only then rushes into new arms, without causing even more psychological trauma to his ex-wife or girlfriend. Alas, such real men are far from often found. But in any case, it is important to figure out your relationship face to face and in a calm atmosphere, and come to a decision that the best option is to break up.
However, there is another outcome:
a man, having thought about the reaction that his betrayal caused, begins to look differently at both his wife and his mistress, quite possibly an accidental one, and prefers to repent and offer to start all over again. And here a woman, from a position that is more advantageous in a psychological sense, can show generosity and forgive. And if everything has already healed, it’s easy to let your ex-husband or friend go on a further voyage.
Blackmail
An affair should be a pleasant outlet, but sometimes it turns into a cage. Not all lovers are able to remain in the shadows, patiently waiting for short meetings. Some are capable of decisive action to become the only one.
They often have enough evidence - joint photographs, correspondence, gifts. If they wish, it is very easy for them to prove that a forbidden relationship exists. And to keep the secret a secret, they can ask for anything.
- Money and expensive gifts;
- Continuing the relationship even though the cheater wants to end the relationship;
- Leaving the family for a mistress or lover.
Such behavior can repel and frighten, but you cannot go to your spouse for advice - after all, you will first have to tell about the existence of an outside relationship.
Revenge
Jealousy is one of the most destructive and destructive feelings. Out of feelings of jealousy, especially if it is not groundless, people are capable of doing the most terrible things. The situation is especially aggravated if the offended party likes to drink. Moreover, not only the deceived soulmate, but also the lover(s), can take revenge if you suddenly break up.
A fight is the smallest revenge for betrayal.
The consequences of cheating on a wife or husband can be very serious, including murder out of jealousy or acid to the face. You can find many terrifying stories that began with an innocent affair.
Remember your loved ones3
Perhaps one of your friends warned that trouble was to come from your new passion, and this cut off your communication. It's time to admit they were right and listen to lots of encouraging words. Someone may even suggest that you find her lover and break all her bones, and no matter how pleasant this temptation may be, still refrain from it. Firstly, such actions have consequences, including prison terms, and it’s definitely not worth ruining your life because of a traitor. Secondly, this guy didn’t betray you, unlike her. So leave these suggestions unrealized.
If you are a girl who has had the misfortune of being hurt by a cheater, the advice will be the same. Old friends from the sports section, former classmates, all those with whom communication has become rare or disappeared completely because of your new serious relationship, get a new chance to return to your life. And if you realize that you miss these people, it’s time to contact them. It’s much easier to get out of the swamp of suffering together than alone, that’s what friends are for.
Breaking trust and destroying relationships
After cheating, the relationship will never be the same as before. After all, trust is very important for a strong connection, and after going left it will no longer be there.
Relationships will be destroyed for other reasons:
- Lack of attention. In a family, people share emotions, stories with each other, and pay attention. But if a third person appears, he takes over and the cheater’s spouse remains unattended.
- Disrespect . You can't respect someone you're cheating on. This will manifest itself in relationships one way or another. Constant comparison in favor of lovers, reproaches out of nowhere, derogatory remarks. It is difficult to maintain feelings in such an environment.
- Accusations . If the story of the betrayal comes out and the family is saved, it will not be possible to avoid the consequences. In any quarrel there will be a reminder of the event that occurred, so in the end the tension will only increase.
There will be no normal relationship after this. Neither husband nor wife will be happy.
Divorce
Female infidelity in marriage ends in divorce more often than male infidelity. Because men often go to their mistresses for sex, and get the rest at home. And wives usually start relationships for the sake of the emotional component.
Divorce is a natural consequence for infidelity.
For girls, a lover is not just about getting sexual pleasure. For them, understanding, support, emotional intimacy, and romance are more important. It is on such feelings that good families are built. It will be easier for her to decide to start a new family. Especially if there are no children in the past.
However, some wives are also looking only for sex on the side, and they do not plan to destroy the family.
How to behave as a woman who finds out about cheating
When a woman finds out about her husband's infidelity, she can be extremely stressed. In this state it is difficult to control actions. Psychologists recommend a number of actions that will help stabilize the situation:
- Calm communication. The most difficult thing in such a situation is to maintain a calm state. More often, girls begin to scream, swear, and show aggression. In order not to aggravate the situation, you need to speak calmly and not raise your voice. The interlocutor will see the calm state of his wife and think about how important he is to her.
- Show an advantage over the homewrecker. Don't look for a meeting with her. Contain negative emotions.
- Try to end the relationship if forgiveness is impossible.
- Temporarily change your lifestyle. Variety helps reduce emotional distress.
It is important not to hold a man back if he tries to leave. If feelings have faded, further living together will cause pain. It is difficult to stop loving your spouse after cheating, especially if the couple has lived together for a long time. After deception, it is easy to recognize your feelings.
