I hate people: what causes this condition, how to overcome it

A misanthrope is a person who adheres to the principle “I hate people.” He is extremely unsociable, avoids society as much as possible and often suffers from related diseases: social phobia or fear of society. In some cases, misanthropy can become the head of life philosophy, when a person hates people and, at the same time, does not know the happiness of love and friendship, but enjoys such feelings as anger, malice, hatred and irritation.

Misanthropy from ancient Greek means rejection or hatred of humanity, contempt for “rules” and generally accepted moral values. This word especially spread throughout the world after the publication of Moliere’s comedy “The Misanthrope.”

It is very difficult for people to find, because no matter who you are, regardless of gender, age, social status and life priorities, a misanthrope will always find a reason why he can hate you. One could even say that such a person is not only comfortable in the shell of hatred, but he also enjoys this philosophy!

Of course, this does not mean that the misanthrope does not communicate with anyone and keeps saying: “I hate you!” There are always people next to them with whom he supports. At the same time, many misanthropes believe that everyone else (secretly or openly) also hate each other. Why the guile that people supposedly can experience love and hate, when there are a lot of positive aspects in hatred alone?

Character is plastic

Millions of poems, novels, films and other fruits of human thought are devoted to hatred, like love. The opposite of the most beautiful feeling corrodes not only the soul, but also the flesh - it has long been known that the cause of many illnesses is the negativity that we accumulate in ourselves or sow into the surrounding space. We know from childhood that hating is bad, being aggressive is harmful, but when hatred - a hateful feeling (and here there are no tautologies anywhere) - comes, we cannot control ourselves and stop smoldering or getting excited, surrendering to it completely and even enjoying it savoring a person's .
Perhaps you are a misanthrope. Maybe you are the most humane humanist in general, but at the same time you are not able to stop hating a certain person . The important thing is that you can see the problem. Thousands of people live with hatred without even thinking about getting rid of it. Many people are unaware that a predatory feeling has long settled inside them, thanks to which they are one of the causes of world troubles. You have already done half the work by seeing the negative in yourself and deciding to overcome it.

The remaining fifty percent are steps towards understanding how to stop hating and working hard on yourself.
You may have heard that we cannot change ourselves, that our existing character is forever, etc. This is all complete nonsense! A character that has already been formed just means that you need to work harder. We are Homo Sapiens, and the mind provides the opportunity for meaningful self-control. Even if from love to hate it is only one step, but on the contrary – ten, twenty, or even a hundred, consider it a pleasant walk back to a bright feeling.

How to survive until the evening?

I get to work. There is no salvation here either. Greetings and conversations - conversations. Got it.

“You don’t need to involve me in the team, I’m fine without you. Don't touch me, leave me alone! No need to ask how my day off was. You still don’t care about me, and I care even more about you. Why am I going to this job? To feed this body? It’s completely indifferent to food.”

The whole space is filled with sounds. The neighbor at the next table endlessly sniffles, the other drums his fingers on the table, that one clicks his pen, that one whistles, another one hiccups, and this one’s phone constantly beeps. And they call it silence. Have you ever heard silence?!

I grind my teeth in helplessness, swallowing the nausea of irritation. How to survive in this epicenter of sounds?

Way back

Open up your feelings

For now, only for myself, of course. The object of hatred does not need it. Admit to yourself fully what is happening. It is not enough to recognize the presence of hatred; it is important to understand how deeply and firmly ingrained it is.

Find reasons

Analyze why you hate. reasons to hate , but probably in your case it is really groundless and trivial. Although, of course, a person could cause you great pain - when we talk about causelessness here, we are essentially expressing statistical data. Not everyone is given the gift of having a fierce enemy, and it is incredibly difficult to get rid of hatred towards him.

We hate for different reasons. People part with each other with a bunch of boulders in their bosoms that pull them into the abyss of negativity. Often we experience hatred out of envy - a more successful person, from our point of view, does not, as it seems to us, deserve either life's gifts, nor our love or even indifference. The most “worthy” reason for hatred is a person’s against us. But even here there is a place for quotation marks, since a negative attitude does not lead to creation, leaving behind only destructiveness. Although in this case, of course, solving the problem is a hundred times more difficult. There are a lot of reasons left out of the conditional list, but the label of ineradicability is nowhere to be seen.

Try on the "suit"

Put yourself in a “hated” place. Even if you have an objective reason to hate a person, perhaps the offender had a reason to do or say exactly that. We are all links in a huge chain of cause and effect, and often today's actions are an echo of long-past deeds. Sometimes the connection is obvious, sometimes it is impossible to discern, but the present does not exist in a vacuum, it interacts closely with the past and the future. And this, by the way, is a reason to forgive a person , since today’s hatred can create a butterfly effect tomorrow or in twenty years. Give this effect, favored by science fiction writers, a chance to work positively for you and those around you.

More than 9,000 people have gotten rid of their psychological problems using this technique.

Talk

Sometimes, in order to solve the problem of hatred, it is enough to invite the one you hate for a frank conversation and sort things out on good terms.
This doesn't always work—many factors come into play—but conversation can be a shortcut to relief from the overwhelming feeling. Of course, you will have a difficult conversation, but it is worth it to feel free. Often the problem is not only hatred. In a team, sorting out relationships - sensibly, without insults - often becomes the only way to maintain a normal atmosphere.

Invite the person to talk, tell him directly, but without emotion, about your concern. Sincerity is captivating, even if the context does not cause euphoria. However, if a person does not want to make contact, leave it as it is, do not impose. The reaction of an offender, real or imagined by you, can cause an even greater influx of hatred.

Don't whisper

Hatred may burn brightly in your heart, but even so, if you want to stop hating a person , restrain yourself from gossiping behind the offender’s back. Rumors about these conversations will definitely reach him, and then there is no point in hoping for a normal relationship. In turn, the person who has been covered in mud will not be left without an answer, and then you will also receive your portion. Perhaps the object of your hatred is already washing bones, but by doing the same, you are adding firewood to the fire of mutual enmity.

Learning about yourself the details voiced in response by the enemy, it is difficult not to succumb to the temptation to give up trying to become a great humanist. Therefore, do not create sources of temptation, do not gossip. Sure, you might need a friend's advice, but that's the only reason to wash your dirty laundry.

Look for a counterweight

Concentrate on those people who please you. This way you will be able to pay less attention to bad thoughts associated with the hated person. Yes, you can be an ardent misanthrope, but even in this case you probably have loved ones. Make them objects of “humane” concentration. Try to think less and, especially, talk less about a person who causes intense hostility.

Of course, not only people can be a counterbalance. Do what you love, look for new sources of inspiration. The main thing is to occupy your mind with something more important and pleasant than hating a certain person. Big or simply pleasant goals solve many other problems, in addition to helping to eliminate black feelings. The awareness of belonging to those few who have a dream and are continuously developing, steadily moving in its direction, makes us much happier, helps us stop hating .

The movement towards the target acts like a snowball. One thing clings to another: a character is developed that contributes to the achievement of the goal; successes, which begin to please you thanks to your strengthened character, inspire you and give you strength to move further and faster. New interests and interesting tasks appear. In such circumstances, hatred often fades into the background, and if you also help it...

Train positive thinking

Learn to perceive the world around you through “rainbow” eyes. It is full of dark moments, so why enhance their meaning with pessimism? There are plenty of helpers in transitioning to an optimistic path.

Leisure. It invigorates the psyche perfectly, in our case it helps to stop hating . Picturesque nature, like nothing else, pacifies and puts you in a positive mood.
Meditation. It is not for nothing that monks who practice long hours of meditation are so difficult to suspect that they are capable of hating . Daily detachment from the bustle world perfectly cleanses the psyche of garbage - like a cleaning computer program frees a disk from unnecessary bytes.
Show gratitude. Preferably in writing, so that on occasion you do not forget about the gifts that life has thrown at you. Compare your own fate with the share of those who are much less fortunate. Awareness of this will give additional strength that will help you stop hating a person .

If you don’t want to give up and are ready to really, and not in words, fight for your full and happy life, you may be interested in this article .

Cause and effect

Have you ever asked yourself why I hate people? The main reasons for the contemptuous attitude towards the entire human race are as follows:

Your intellectual development is higher than that of others, so you experience difficulties in communication. You do not understand the emotions and “everyday joys” of others; their goals and achievements seem petty and amaze in their simplicity. After all, you are on a completely different plane.
If you were bullied in the past in a school or other group, you were rejected and not understood, then misanthropy is probably your armor that protects your subtle mental organization, moral principles and worldview from other people.
Broken dreams, lost illusions or betrayal of a loved one can be the answer to the question: “Why do I hate others?” You don't want to feel the pain of disappointment anymore.
You don’t love yourself and project this feeling onto others, because why are they better?
The dark streak has dragged on, fatigue and hopelessness do not allow us to live normally. You simply can no longer help but notice the stupidity of your colleagues, friends, the quarrelsomeness of your neighbors, everyone annoys you. Misanthropy is just developing, but it can gain momentum and destroy all relationships with others. Something urgently needs to be changed!

No great thing can be accomplished without interaction with other people. The introduction of new technologies, the construction of roads, buildings and much more occurs through joint efforts. Moreover, hatred is dangerous - it destroys you from the inside. You come across other people every day, so you need to change your attitude towards them for your own good.

“Buy a couple of fashionable things, dress up and go somewhere.”

Better offer to go shopping together. The process of buying things in itself can be pleasant and add endorphins to a depressed person, but beautiful and fashionable clothes in themselves are not a cure for depression.

When you say this, it implies that the oppressed person made his own choice and became unhappy. This is both an understatement of his sadness and an accusation of the sufferer himself for his troubles.

Harsh and critical remarks like this will not help at all. Meanwhile, the attitude of family members and close friends often plays a decisive role in whether a person can get out of depression.

Your impatience tells the depressed person that you don't really have any idea about their condition and is consoling them out of pretense. What does "should" mean? Depression will end when it ends, and attempts to rush the patient will only worsen his condition.

Learning to live with depression is not a solution, but an entrance into a dark tunnel. And all sorts of platitudes and so-called “encouraging” remarks will only worsen the matter. No one should have to live with depression - and if it's really bad, take care of finding specialists - some types of depression are very difficult to cure.

Signs of arrogance in people

Arrogance can be easily identified by such characteristic signs manifested in human behavior as:

selfishness and peremptory attitude towards other people, such an individual does not forgive any mistakes and reacts to them inappropriately, as if it were a personal insult;
arrogant people most often ignore or subtly humiliate an interlocutor belonging to a lower social rank in front of others;
one’s own point of view on absolutely everything in the world and a complete inability to respect other people’s views and thoughts;
pride, they hate to apologize for their own misdeeds and do not accept any authority;
arrogance is expressed through facial expressions, which demonstrates disdain for others; such people often walk with their heads held high and very emotionally express their dissatisfaction, playing to the public;
arrogant people are extremely quick-tempered, react violently to criticism addressed to them, not wanting to hear other people’s opinions;
these people are constantly under the influence of codes and engrams.

Comfort zone

System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan defines eight sensitive zones for outputting or receiving information, from which the vectors got their names: skin, visual, sound and others.

So, a person with a sound vector has very sensitive hearing. He hears not only sounds as such, but also perceives and recognizes vibrations, vibrations, intonations, meanings, shades of meaning. His gentle ear is able to grasp information that is inaccessible to others, and his powerful intellect is able to process it.

The comfort zone for a person with a sound vector is silence. Only in silence is he able to concentrate and create a brilliant thought form, the birth of which he strives with his whole being. Meaning, thought, idea - these are his highest values.

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- It's brains, baby. They prevent me from becoming an idiot. However, you won't understand.

Re: What to do if you live with someone you hate?

- It's brains, baby. They prevent me from becoming an idiot. However, you won't understand.

Re: What to do if you live with someone you hate?

Except for the last case, I don’t understand how there’s nowhere to go?

- It's brains, baby. They prevent me from becoming an idiot. However, you won't understand.

Re: What to do if you live with someone you hate?

- It's brains, baby. They prevent me from becoming an idiot. However, you won't understand.

The end of the world as salvation

According to the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan, a person with a sound vector is the only one who separates the material and the spiritual. Therefore, he, feeling that there is something more than the physical world, does not connect his “I”, his intellect, his consciousness with his body. The body for him is just a material shell that temporarily covers his immortal soul.

And the more the sound person isolates himself from the world around him, the more illusory he perceives everything material, including other people and even his own body. Such long-term conditions lead to apathy and depression, which can result in suicide, a kind of attempt to free the soul from the suffering of the physical world.

In the meantime, he hides in his shell, seeking salvation in silence and loneliness, passionately wishing for the end of the world as deliverance from emptiness, from gray, boring monotonous days, from the pain of endless meaninglessness.

Salvation is only a dream

I return home exhausted to the saving silence. I close the curtains and sink into a chair. A thick layer of dust has accumulated on the TV remote control. I haven’t turned it on for a long time, carefully preserving my precious silence. I wrap myself in her velvet with pleasure and close my eyes, anticipating peace. Finally…

Suddenly - what is this? “Drip, drip, drip,” my ear catches. The whole body instantly tenses with a string. Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, no, again! This is a dripping faucet behind the wall of the neighbors, who, apparently, have an elephant stepped on their ears, if they can’t even hear it in their apartment. A groan escapes my throat. And there is no peace here.

I crawl onto the bed and cover both ears with pillows. “Drip, drip, drip...” My eardrum vibrates in unison with each drop. They used to torture the same way in prisons, and people went crazy. I wrap myself in a cocoon blanket. I would fall asleep and sleep without waking up for many, many days, or better yet, not wake up at all. Why live? In order to die?

He's special

System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan defines him as a person, a carrier of the sound vector. The sound guy is special. He is not like other people. He was born to listen to silence in search of vibration, thought, sound. He is a night wanderer and part-time philosopher and genius. It has endless development potential. He knows and feels his exclusivity. He is an absolute egocentric and introvert, focused only on himself.

What brings pleasure to others in life (family, love, work, success) does not matter to him. The bearer of the most powerful abstract intelligence, he seeks meaning in the intangible, non-existent unconscious for everyone else.

I hate humanity

In order to understand the depth of Blok’s attitude towards such a complex socio-political phenomenon as the October Revolution, it is necessary to speak once again about Blok’s unique, “musical” perception of the world. He believed that the external essence of the environment hides a deep inner musical element, an unfading, eternally raging flame, which in different historical eras either burst out, illuminating the world with a noble glow, or hid deeply in the depths, remaining the work of only an infinitesimal number of chosen ones.

Much connects the Russian poet Alexander Alexandrovich Blok with the Moscow land, but above all Shakhmatovo, the small estate of his grandfather Andrei Nikolaevich Beketov, lost among the hills, fields and forests of the Moscow region. Here in the summer of 1881, Professor Beketov brought his daughter Alya with her six-month-old son Sashura from noisy St. Petersburg.

I remember the day when I first saw Blok’s Carmen. In the fall of 1967, I walked along the Moika embankment to Pryazhka, to the house where the poet died. This was Alexander Blok’s favorite path. From the Neva, across Nevsky Prospekt - ever moving away from the center - he walked like this more than once, amazed at the beauty of his hometown. I went to see the one whose name Blok immortalized in poetry, just as Pushkin once did Anna Kern.