How to find peace of mind: 5 tips from psychologists

Every person sooner or later finds himself in a situation where it is necessary to find peace of mind and try to stop being nervous and worried. This is when the question arises of how to find peace within yourself. The answer is quite simple and is described below, but reading alone is not enough, you need to work on yourself.

Harmony can be achieved when a person is ready to work with his feelings

Peace of mind in psychology

Harmony, from the point of view of psychology, implies coordinated work in which the system itself and all its constituent elements successfully fulfill their purpose. At the same time, the entire work process has absolute organization and thoughtfulness of actions. When harmony is achieved, then all necessary needs are satisfied, relations with the outside world are in balance.

Harmony itself appears at the moment when all members of its work accept and understand their importance and the importance of common goals.

Important! Any action aimed at improvement and goodness in the system’s work format leads to the emergence of harmony. The reverse process, an evil and harmful design, leads to disharmony.

It is in a state of harmony that a person can achieve peace of mind. This means that he does not have to worry about dangers from the outside, all his current needs are satisfied, he sees his goal and he has enough wisdom to know how to achieve his goal. By achieving inner peace, a person can also gain strength and self-confidence.

What is peace of mind many holy fathers said?

What is peace of mind from the point of view of Orthodoxy? Let's consider the sayings of the holy fathers.

Saint John Chrysostom said:

“...Nothing is more alien to peace than man. That is why God made his path narrow and cramped; He even combined not only the deeds of virtue, but also the deeds of everyday life with labor, and the latter much more…”


John Chrysostom.
Photo: k-istine.ru Rev. Mark the Ascetic believed:

“...The Law figuratively commands to work for six days, and on the seventh to cease from work. The work of the soul is to do good with property, that is, with deeds; its abolition, or peace, is to, according to the word of the Lord, sell everything one has and give to the poor, and having calmed down through such non-covetousness, celebrate in mental hope. Saint Paul encourages us to enter into this peace with diligence, saying: let us strive to enter into that peace...”


Mark the Ascetic.
Photo: hranitel.club St. Simeon the New Theologian clearly tells us that a person can find peace in the soul only through God:

“...God dealt with fallen man in such a way that he did not find peace in this life in the things of this world, and through this he was forced to return again to the All-Good God, the Lord and Ruler of all, the Father, Provider, Reposer, Redeemer and Savior, and always be with Him, so that in this way a person would find peace, and God, his Father, having his son with Him, would rejoice over him...”


Simeon the New Theologian. Photo: i.pinimg.com

How to find peace

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Despite all the advantages of a state of calm, for many people it is a fairy tale. They do not believe that permanent peace can be achieved. Some people allow a change in both positive and negative emotions. This is indeed considered the norm, but to achieve humility, positive emotions must still prevail. To be less influenced by negativity, you should clearly understand your goals in life and desires. Those who manage to follow this algorithm do not differ in their actions and words.

In order to get rid of negativity, you can follow several tips:

  • Monitor your usual reaction to the situation, and if it is negative, try to intercept it and react differently. You need to understand what exactly causes negative emotions in this or that case, and reconsider your attitude.
  • Finding the strength to react even in the worst situations is easy.
  • Do not forget to thank others for everything, since the feeling of gratitude most quickly leads to peace of mind.
  • Remember that all problems exist only in the present tense. They cannot exist either in the past or in the future, which means that each of them is solvable.
  • Try to eliminate the state of resentment and under no circumstances offend others.
  • Monitor your emotions and condition. If there is a feeling that a nervous breakdown is on the way, it is better to immediately stop communicating and move away until you find calm.
  • Try not to refuse help, because this will bring good results both to the person himself and to the one who needs support. The main thing is to remember that you should only help those who really need it.
  • A good way to get a positive attitude is to play sports and walk in nature; yoga classes will be useful for women, as well as for men.
  • Peace of mind always directly depends on your state of health. If some problems bother you physically, then it will be difficult to achieve humility.


The key to self-control is the desire to see the world around you in a positive way.

How to find peace of mind - a fulcrum?

What neither time, nor circumstance, nor place affects, can help us find that same peace. The eternal aspect will help us with this. The absolute aspect is the basis on which all other structures (including man) are built.

Mental balance is found by finding a common language with your soul and gut. To do this, to open up to your inner world, you need to temporarily ignore all the things that you like or don’t like, that make you proud, those with the help of which you give yourself value and analyze yourself. This is the first stage to come to your inner self.

If you learn to disconnect from space, things that bother you, beliefs, everything you love or don’t love, you will have access to a state in which it is possible to know your whole soul.

Why do people lose their calm?

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For many, it becomes unclear how to find peace of mind if there are constant distractions. Psychologists say that there are main reasons that prevent you from finding harmony. Having identified them, you can work on yourself and get closer to a constant state of calm:

  1. Fear. Often people are tormented by anticipation, and are frightened by fears about how this or that event will go. This state will continue to bother you until everything is done and remains in the past. It will be easier to cope with such situations if you try to live in the moment. Do not mentally think about the upcoming event, but try to feel the present.
  2. Guilt. Due to the fact that a person internally realizes that he could have offended someone or failed to do what he promised, he may be reproached by his own inner voice. Mentally, he will constantly return to these thoughts. To help yourself cope, it is important to make wise decisions. Instead of reproaching yourself, you should admit your own guilt and find ways to make amends for it.
  3. Coincidence. This happens when a person makes some promises, but in the end cannot fulfill them, not through his own fault, but due to a combination of circumstances. As a result, he feels guilty for something he was not involved in, but he made a promise. If this situation happens regularly, it is important to learn to refuse. Then you can move away from the habit of giving false hopes.
  4. Be insulted. How to find peace of mind if someone has offended a person? Self-love can take a long time to return attention to itself in thoughts. To regain inner peace as soon as possible, you need to learn to forgive the offender even before he comes with an apology.
  5. Aggressive state. Being in such a mood, it is very difficult to force yourself to calm down and regain peace. Every person experiences negativity more than once. The main thing in such moments is to try to throw out your anger not in the presence of others, so as not to shake their condition.


Emotions can shake your peace of mind

How do you eat?

It's hard to find peace of mind and balance without overhauling your nutrition plan.

Well, you already know about fast food, soda and similar joys.

Simple food

Now I want to emphasize something else: your diet should include more good, but simple food. For example, buckwheat, potatoes, legumes, etc.

It is good to use dried pulp from various vegetables and fruits before meals.

You also need to introduce everything that helps the body recover, and as a result, mental balance and tranquility. Herbal teas, nuts, chia seeds, flax seeds, sesame seeds, grape seeds, cumin seeds, apricot seeds, etc. Of course, fruits, berries, vegetables and herbs will take pride of place on this list.

Pomegranate juice and seeds

Separately, I would like to highlight pomegranate juice and seeds - they saturate the blood with oxygen and help cells renew themselves.

Fast

If you wanted to challenge yourself, for example, to fast or do fasting days, now is the time. But, within reason, of course: a hunger strike does not fit into your plans. But if your whole body resists and you don’t yet have the strength to move to a new level of nutrition, how can you find peace of mind and achieve balance?

In this case, it is better to consult your doctor so that he can prescribe you a suitable vitamin complex.

Independent solutions

By the way, you can start taking ascorbic acid and foods containing vitamin C on your own. These are your allies, keeping the body in a vigorous state.

And for those who intend to restore their peace of mind after experiencing stress, an additional recommendation is to drink rosehip decoction daily.

Main signs of a problem

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After identifying the reasons that affect peace of mind, it is important to understand what a person who is internally restless looks like.

Some people are constantly tormented by a background feeling of anxiety, others may experience fear only in certain cases, for example, in crowded places, while driving a car, before speaking in front of an audience, etc.

Despite the fact that these situations may be very different from each other, they all have one thing in common - a person’s inability to gather his courage and find inner balance. In addition, a person may exhibit restlessness in behavior:

  • feels fear or apprehension;
  • cannot concentrate on important things, loses thoughts;
  • is nervous and shows this in his behavior (sudden movements, fussing, fiddling with objects, tapping his fingers, etc.);
  • background expectation of bad;
  • irritability and aggressive reaction;
  • display of impatience.

In addition to behavioral symptoms, physical symptoms can also be observed:

  • rapid heartbeat and breathing;
  • sweating;
  • muscle tension or mild cramping;
  • headaches, fatigue;
  • restless and shallow sleep;
  • problems with bowel movements and urination.

The influence of peace on life

Peace of mind has a beneficial effect on everyday life, this can be traced in several aspects:

  • There is an opportunity to calmly express your position in disputes. When speaking, a person stops losing his thoughts, does not get excited, does not rush, his speech is measured.
  • A husband or wife can, in everyday life, stop quarrels in advance, at the stage when they are just beginning.
  • In the event of unforeseen and dangerous situations, a person who is internally balanced gives every chance to resolve the problem in a short time.
  • In achieving your own goals, peace helps to maintain self-control and not stray from the path to your desires.
  • Self-control helps in raising children. A fulfilling parenting process requires a loving approach, as well as patience and care.
  • The settlement of relationships between people will be better given to those who know how to cope with their own feelings and emotions.

Based on the above points, we can conclude that peace of mind means:

  • a person’s ability to maintain clarity of mind in any life situations, even extreme ones;
  • the ability to make informed and quick decisions even during periods of turbulence of emotions;
  • manifestation of one's own will to achieve goals;
  • manifestation of trust and friendliness to the world.


The ability to find balance within yourself helps in everyday life

Every day you need to turn to the Guardian Angel who is next to you

And, of course, every day you need to turn to your Guardian Angel, who is always next to you. He will always help you in any difficult situation. Therefore, it is necessary to offer prayers to him. The prayer to the Guardian Angel is usually read in the evening.


Icon of the Guardian Angel. Photo: k-istine.ru

Prayer:

Angel of God, my holy guardian, given to me from God from heaven for my protection, I diligently pray to you: enlighten me today, and save me from all evil, guide me to good deeds and direct me on the path of salvation. Amen.

Also, do not forget that you can always turn to any saint in your own words for help. The most important thing is that your words come from the heart and are sincere, since only sincere and pure prayers will be heard.

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If you can't find peace

If you spend some time observing a group of people in a public place, such as a crowded bus, you can monitor everyone's well-being. Some people are constantly nervous or think about their anxious thoughts. This is noticeable in their frowning facial expressions, concentrated gaze or restless movements: tapping their feet or hands, fiddling with improvised objects. Such people are in a restless state, and it is not difficult to get them angry.

At the same time, there is a category of people for whom minor troubles do not represent anything serious. They calmly listen to music, look at the views from the window, or think about something else, smiling serenely.

So why, in the same situation, are some able to maintain composure and not succumb to negativity and minor irritants, while others are not? Many explain this difference that some were lucky to be born calm, others were not. In fact, everyone can find inner balance; it’s just a matter of ability and desire to work on oneself.

How to restore peace of mind and tranquility if you are unlucky enough to be born with strong nerves? Working on yourself involves reviewing your own reaction to different situations and taking several steps towards correction:

  1. You need to reconsider your reaction to negativity. Yes, it is common in the world around us. If you let him pass by and rehearse your positive or neutral reaction, it will be much easier later.
  2. It is important to learn to lead your own stream of thoughts in a positive way. No matter what happens, you need to praise yourself for even a small show of effort.
  3. Instead of worrying about unfulfilled actions or other people's reactions, it is better to get ahead of events and act in such a way as to ensure a positive outcome.
  4. Try not to overwork yourself. Fatigue is the main cause of stress, which gives rise to negative reactions. A sage is one who loves himself first and takes care of his health and condition.
  5. Do not get involved in unnecessary disputes. This is also stress for the nervous system; it is better to try to resolve the conflict at the inception stage.
  6. What else can unsettle you? The excited nervous state is influenced by situations when a person fusses or is late for the appointed time. Self-discipline, organization and planning will help you maintain confidence and inner balance.


Finding harmony is available to everyone, but with different efforts

  1. Avoid negative emotions such as envy, pity, and suspicion. Such emotions not only do not lead to positive results, but actions such as suspicion of infidelity, discussion of gossip, dependence on empty chatter will only have a heavy aftertaste.
  2. Make time for exercise. Physical activity can only bring good things: not only a fit body, but also the ability to control your own willpower.
  3. Plan and dream. Those who constantly figure out how to diversify their own lives do not find time for empty experiences and negative emotions.
  4. Find your own way that can quickly calm your nerves in stressful situations. This could be breathing practice, walking, counting to yourself, contact with water, or any other individual method.

Factors influencing the formation of mental balance

Accommodation rate

The desire to speed up the course of events in life, intolerance and a negative reaction in the form of irritation due to the speed at which events unfold, and rejection of what is happening contribute to the emergence of an imbalance.

Staying in the moment, accepting the flow of circumstances that we cannot influence, only contributes to better resolution of issues. Our reactions to external events are key and determining for its preservation. Only we ourselves choose how to react to emerging situations and events.

All external catalysts are initially neutral in nature, and only we decide what they will be and reveal their potential. Giving time means concentrating on every action, no matter what you are doing, fastening buttons, preparing food, washing dishes, or anything else.

Step by step, we should go through our path, pay our attention only to the present, and not speed up movements that move at their proper speed. Let a small matter into your world, give yourself completely to it, you should not constantly indulge in what worries you, you need to learn to distract your mind.

Such simple actions are aimed at pumping up awareness, but a stone wears away water and what you achieve will amaze you. It is the little things with which we begin the journey that make our consciousness more plastic and weaken all the tension that has been accumulating in us for years, pushing us into the unreal world. We don't dream about how it should be, we move towards it on our own. One day, just wash the dishes with obvious interest, think only about them, take your time, let the thought process do everything for you. Such simple logic reveals the familiar from a completely different angle. Moreover, the world itself becomes more understandable to those who are attentive and thinking, and already at this stage some of the fears recede.

We can’t control everything in life - this means that it doesn’t really make sense to fight, that’s the reality. And it often happens that any other influence we have will only bring harm to the situation and will mean that we are not yet ready to consciously find peace of mind and harmony in ourselves.

Moderation

Avoiding the oversaturation of the environment with excesses, the ability not to divide the world into black and white, the ability to clearly understand the level of one’s own strength, not to waste time - all this makes it possible to accumulate the necessary potential of our energy for its further use in creating a positive internal balance (equilibrium).

Way of thinking

Thoughts are an energetic substance within us. To establish harmony, it is necessary to distinguish and monitor them. But not every thought that we catch inside ourselves belongs to us. We ourselves must choose what to believe. It is necessary to consciously distinguish between the thoughts that come to us.

Our motives are mirrored in the world around us; a negative state of thoughts will spread to our perception of the world as a whole. By training ourselves to track thoughts and making conscious choices, we take responsibility for our lives, achieve peace of mind and harmony with ourselves.

Tracking thoughts involves not reacting to emerging images reflexively, automatically. Pause, feel what feelings and emotions this thought evokes, and make a choice whether you like it or not.

An unconscious, quick automatic emotional reaction to emerging negative thoughts triggers the process of production and release of negative low-frequency energy, which reduces the frequency level of energy bodies and, as a result, lowers them into low ranges. The ability to distinguish, monitor, and choose a way of thinking makes it possible and creates the conditions for creating or restoring personal peace of mind and tranquility.

Emotions

Human emotions are an evaluative attitude of the Personality and a response to the influence of external life catalysts. With a conscious attitude, our sensory sphere, our emotions, are a Divine Gift and a creative Power that unites with the Highest aspect of the OverSoul, an inexhaustible source of strength.

With an unconscious attitude and automatic emotional reactions to external catalysts, the cause of suffering, pain, imbalance.

If thoughts, figuratively speaking, are the “trigger” for the start of energy processes, then emotions are the driving Forces that give acceleration (acceleration) to these processes. It all depends on the direction of the vector’s attention and on how consciously or unconsciously the immersion in this accelerating flow occurs. Everyone chooses how to use this Power for creativity, creation, strengthening the connection with their Oversoul, or for destructive explosive releases.

Physical body

The body is just an extension of our thinking. At the level of the physical body, an energy circuit is closed that connects thoughts - body, emotions - body, harmonious system - release of energy.

The use of specific mental images with the addition of an emotional cocktail is followed by an influx of individual-type neurotransmitters into the body, which determine what specific physical and moral sensation we will experience

  • Positive emotions cause relaxation and calm, allow our body and all its parts not to burn through energy and work in the right mode.
  • Negative emotions, on the contrary, cause local disruptions, which can manifest themselves as spasms of smooth muscles and deformations of tissue membranes, spasms and compressions, have an accumulating effect, and therefore lead to long-term negative processes throughout the body

The human hormonal system reacts to the emotional state, which means it has a direct impact on the state of the body at the moment; on the other hand, with an increase in the level of certain hormones, emotionality also increases.

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As a result, we are able to learn to control emotions by controlling, to some extent, the hormonal level of the body, and this will give us the opportunity to easily overcome some of the negative emotions, we will gain control over them. This skill will largely determine our potential for dodging many painful conditions, and subsequently our life expectancy.

What affects peace of mind

In general, we can identify the main factors that have a greater influence on how mental balance is formed:

  1. Living a life moment, and not wanting to live a moment as quickly as possible. The manifestation of intolerance interferes with being in a state of calm. This is an internal irritant that people create themselves. At the same time, living the moment allows you to feel and accept all events and your own emotions, which means you can more quickly come to terms with them.
  2. The ability to moderate one's own interests. Being satiated in one area or another of life leads to an inability to feel gratitude and does not provide the ability to accumulate strength for new goals.


Physical activity is the key to inner peace

  1. The ability to track your own thoughts in the general flow. Unconscious actions, without processing information in your head, lead to negative impulses. At the same time, if you think about your actions and thoughts, then each action can not only be deliberate, but also have its own explanation, purpose and benefit.
  2. In addition to thoughts, it is important to monitor your own emotions, which so often interfere with establishing mental balance. If some situations give rise to negative emotions inside, it is worth working through this moment and understanding why and where the negativity comes from. Subsequently, try to control this process.
  3. The condition of the physical body is no less important for maintaining balance. A healthy, fit body will not only not bother you with your well-being, but will also teach you how to manage your desires and emotions. Sports and any physical activity develop endurance and character in a person.

The ability to experience inner peace is not given to everyone equally. Some people learn this on their own, others have to work harder with themselves. This does not mean that inner harmony is an unattainable state. Many factors influence mental balance; if it is not in order, it is worth paying attention to them and identifying the reason that needs to be dealt with.

How to regain peace of mind. Personal transformation expert answers

Ups and downs can unsettle even the most cheerful person. And this is not a reason to reproach yourself for weakness - this is an opportunity to work on yourself. Sport24 spoke with Christina Myand-Lakhiani, co-founder of the largest educational company for personal growth and transformation Mindvalley, about how to learn to maintain peace of mind in various situations.

From the personal archive of Christina Myand-Lakyani

Distinguish between emotions and states

In our lives, ups and downs are natural phenomena, just like the change of day and night. When we talk about peace of mind, it is important to make a difference between our emotions and our general state, our well-being. Emotions by their nature are a transitory phenomenon; they not only go away, but also change. For example, we may experience fear, but as we experience events, it can transform into panic or pleasant excitement.

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A post shared by Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani (@kristinamand) on Jan 9, 2020 at 10:54am PST

When we talk about peace of mind, it is important to clearly understand that it is not momentary emotions that are important to us, but a constant, stable point to which we constantly return. You just need to learn to be friends with emotions, they all have the right to exist. They don’t need to be divided into right and wrong, emotions just exist.

Our physical body has sensations to tell us when something is wrong. For example, pain indicates health problems. It’s the same with emotions in life: they signal which areas require our attention. And this also means that emotions need to be taken into account, but you shouldn’t act on them without thinking it through.

Everything will be fine, but not now

Remember the first rule: everything will be fine, but when we find ourselves at our lowest points, there is no need to try to convince ourselves that everything is fine now. It won't do you any good. There is a statement in psychology that stress is not as bad for us as stress due to stress. Therefore, the most important thing is to allow yourself to simply experience “low” moments, stress, anxiety, sadness and not try with all your might to escape from it.

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A post shared by Mindvalley University (@universitet_mindvalley) on Dec 10, 2020 at 2:09am PST

Accept that this is happening - it's normal. Everything will be fine with emphasis on the word “will.” Often in difficult moments we try to find something to console ourselves, and our friends echo: “It’s not that bad.” Allow time to pass along with difficult emotions and pain.

Don't be afraid to ask for help

Our biggest focus is always on the fall. At these moments it is especially difficult for us, it is difficult, we want to hide, and sometimes we are ashamed to show others that something is not working out for us.

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On the contrary, in such situations it is important to ask for help, especially when emotions are very strong and the situation is difficult. Psychologists say that people should not deal with trauma and depression on their own. Moreover, you need to ask for help not only from professional psychologists, but also from close people. Ask them for support and possibly household help. Strong people are not those who cope with everything themselves, but those who can get out of a situation using the resources they have. And our family and friends are a resource that can help us.

Celebrate victories

In difficult moments, pay attention not only to the downs, but also to the ups. Praise yourself for gathering all your resources at a time like this and fighting back.

We almost always forget victories faster than defeats, and sometimes we are even afraid to rejoice, to feel happiness, as if we are jinxing ourselves. You need to record and celebrate your victories and ascents, because our state at such moments - inspiration, happiness, joy - is useful to record.

Don't try to fix everything at once

You have to take it, as they say, one day at a time. We often find it difficult to see the light beyond the horizon, and don’t rush yourself to see it—get through the day without asking too much of yourself. The main thing is to keep moving forward, even millimeter by millimeter. To get out of a situation, you don’t need to know what will happen on the other side of the tunnel.

Maintaining constant calm is a task that can be greatly helped by daily rituals, such as meditation, visualization, gratitude practice, or journaling practice. But again, don’t try to follow everything at once - start with something that is closer to you.

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