Ecological separation: how to end a relationship correctly

How to survive the pain of breakup

How to get over a breakup?
Life does not end after parting with a loved one. And although it hurts, there is no need to cheer up and pretend that nothing happened. If you want to cry, cry, if you want to scream, scream. Sing sad songs, binge-watch melodramas and TV series. They tell you that everyone is at odds and there is no need to make a tragedy out of it. No one knows what's in your heart, so don't listen to anyone and don't try to hide your pain. If it hurts, let it hurt. Cry until you feel empty and relieved.

Over time, everything will pass, it’s not for nothing that they say “time heals.”

After you have broken up and the pain of separation has dulled, do something. Watch movies that you didn’t have time to watch before, think about your hobby. Do everything you couldn't do when you were together. This way you will feel freedom that you did not have before.

You can enroll in dancing, drawing, sewing and knitting, clay modeling, and wood burning classes. This way you can find something you like.

After a breakup, many people lose weight because they have no appetite. And some “eat up” stress and, on the contrary, quickly gain excess weight. In any case, we need to move, even if only to a minimum.

If everything around reminds you of your loved one, change the environment. If you can’t leave, rearrange your home, change the curtains, buy new dishes.

Chat with friends, they will support you in difficult times. Someday the black streak will end, and you will look at the world with different eyes.

The pain of separation is normal. But if it doesn’t go away for a long time, there is a possibility that you have developed depression and should think about going to a psychotherapist.

Why does a relationship break down?

The decision to break up is not made in one day or even in a month. As a rule, this is preceded by a long period of reflection.

The reasons for the breakup can be different. This does not mean that only one person is to blame. This means that something happened in your relationship and you lost contact with each other. Responsibility always lies with both and there is no need to consider who is more to blame and who is less.

You don't have to blame only yourself for this. Yes, you could be less annoyed and demand less. But if your partner was not happy with this, he could tell you about it.

Just learn from your mistakes and try not to repeat them in the future.

The pain of separation goes away over time. You fall in love again, get married or get married and live, although differently, but also happily.

How to survive depression after a breakup

Depression after separation overtakes a person who was emotionally strongly attached to a partner. And it intensifies with longing for him, the person develops apathy and internal discomfort.

Depression is a mental disorder whose main symptoms are low mood and loss of the ability to experience pleasure.

Severe forms of depression are characterized by decreased mood, slow thinking and motor retardation.

Source Wikipedia

Many people are interested in the question, how long can depression last after a breakup? For each person it is individual and depends on his nervous system, emotional state, and willpower.

Every person wants to be loved, and when they stop loving him and he breaks up with his loved one (boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife), the mind does not want to accept this reality.

It is for this reason that depression occurs. It is difficult for the heart to readjust itself because the brain is still filled with memories of love. And the separation seems unbearable.

The following stages of emotional attachment are distinguished:

• Attraction;
• Love;
• Attachment.

Romantic love will not last forever, and it ends for biochemical reasons. The effect of biologically active substances that determine the emotional state decreases over time, and along with this, desire decreases. After some time, love passes.

This does not mean that if someone broke up with you, it means you are bad. It’s just that your chosen one has stopped experiencing pleasure from communicating with you. This is confirmed by statistical data on divorces in the first 3 years of marriage.

How to get over a breakup after a long relationship

Long-term relationships can be very difficult to forget after a breakup. And it doesn’t matter who initiated this breakup - you yourself or your partner. During your life together, you have accumulated numerous memories and mutual acquaintances.

But for the sake of your well-being, it is necessary to let go of your previous relationship. Someday you will be able to open your heart to another person again.

The fact of breaking up a relationship is especially difficult to cope with at first. Just yesterday you were together, making plans for the future, dreaming about something, but today - everyone is on their own.

But, no matter how painful it may be, we must remember that life goes on.

To make it easier to survive separation from your loved one, you need to switch to something else:

• Devote more time to children, parents, friends;
• Engage in training and professional development;
• Find a part-time job;
• Remember your hobbies;
• You can start renovating your apartment. Immersed in work, you will not have time for sadness, and the new interior will lift your spirits;
• Take a vacation and go on vacation.

You can survive a breakup if you radically change your life. You can change your job, change your social circle, exclude envious people from your environment. And all these changes will have a positive impact on your life.

Advice from a psychologist when breaking up with a loved one

Modern psychology covers all parts of human life. You can contact her in case of an unpleasant, painful breakup. Experts advise using five steps to ease suffering:

1. Step one. Stop resisting negative emotions and finally cry. Tears are the most effective remedy. They heal heart and soul wounds. Remember the axiom: the longer you hold yourself back, the brighter the feeling of loss and bereavement becomes.
2. Step two. Sublimate negative energy. Channel your accumulated potential into work. Redo household chores, introduce a new hobby or interesting hobby into your routine. Write a list of a hundred things to do, it is important to get them done before the new year, put your workplace in order, sort out bookshelves and cabinets with things.
3. Step three. Change your image. A very effective remedy, young ladies resort to it unconsciously. A new haircut, hair color, change in style have a miraculous effect. Helps to distract yourself and get a charge of positive emotions.
4. Step four. Change of environment. Don't have the strength to live in a shared apartment? Then change your home, go on vacation and enjoy the sea tide, mountain landscape, forest air. A change of environment has a beneficial effect on the psyche.
5. Step five. Compassion. Help those in need - give vent to emotional experiences. Charity and good deeds heal the soul and heal wounds. You can go to an animal shelter, help the poor, become a volunteer.

After going through the five steps to recovery, a person feels relief. The feeling of weakness begins to dissolve, more and more strength appears. The desire to live, create and work arises again. You can feel sorry for yourself under a soft blanket, shedding tears over sweet correspondence from the past. But it’s better to make an effort and change your life.

After a breakup, not everyone can immediately get back on their feet and return to a full life. Psychologists advise giving yourself a break, taking a vacation and immersing yourself in experiences. Everyone decides for themselves:

• Spend time with friends.
• Talk frankly with your friend.
• Go to the countryside.
• Travel to another country or city.
• Stay at home and watch your favorite movies and TV series.

The main thing is that this time is beneficial. After all, it is not only those who find themselves abandoned who experience this. It is important not to return the relationship, not to write messages: “how are you?”, “I’m sorry I hurt you,” and so on.

How to get over a breakup with a guy

It can be very difficult to come to terms with the fact that your relationship is over. And not everyone can get together and continue living a normal life.

Therefore, there are several ways to get over a breakup easier:

• Stop communicating with the guy;
• Try not to cross paths with him;
• To take your mind off the memories, keep yourself busy with something interesting;
• Understand your feelings;
• Give free rein to your emotions;
• If you cannot cope with your condition, consult a psychologist.

The end of a relationship is a loss no matter how long the relationship lasted. And any loss is always accompanied by sadness. Although each person experiences things differently, in many ways all people are similar.

American psychologist Elizabeth Kübler-Ross in her 1969 book “On Death and Dying” described 5 stages of grief that correspond to a person’s normal feelings when changes occur in their personal life and work. And all changes incur losses to some extent.

These stages:

• Negation;
• Anger;
• Bargain;
• Depression;
• Adoption.

These are normal reactions to changes in life and are a defense mechanism. And these are exactly what people experience when trying to cope with these changes.

Even in the most difficult situations there is opportunity for development and professional growth. And all bad things come to an end.

The best way to get over your boyfriend is to meet someone else.

How to understand that a guy wants to break up

If a lady is in doubt, she can take a closer look at her partner. A number of signs will suggest that he himself wants to break off the union, but does not dare for certain reasons. You should not continue meetings if you notice one or more reasons from the list:

READ What to do if your girlfriend leaves you

• Walks with friends, has fun, visits entertainment venues. But he doesn’t take the girl with him.
• There is nothing to talk about with him, no common interests or hobbies. When meeting, he plays on the phone or is on social networks.
• Finds others more attractive, sets them as an example. Conversations about other people's girls appear between partners more and more often.
• Doesn't give gifts or give compliments. Pays much less attention.
• He excuses himself from personal meetings or romantic dates. Prefers to see you in the company of friends. Acts distant.
• Does not answer the phone. Later he comes up with the same type of ridiculous reasons: he fell asleep, forgot his mobile phone, is busy.
• He doesn’t care about the girl’s poor health and doesn’t help in difficult situations.
• Quarrel over trifles, look for reasons to find fault and refuse a date or meeting.
• Refuses to introduce him to his parents and friends.

Such a manifestation conveys his reluctance to be with you. The main thing is not to create a scandal and disperse peacefully in order to preserve your reputation and not spoil your nerves.

How to get over a breakup with a girl

Psychologists believe that men experience a breakup more emotionally. It’s harder for a guy to get over it than for a girl. It’s somehow not customary for men to share their experiences. They have to keep everything to themselves and worry alone.

To understand why your girlfriend left you, you need to analyze the situation.

The reasons may be different:

• You don’t want to change anything in your life, you don’t show initiative and over time you become uninteresting to the girl;
• I’m not confident in myself, the girl doesn’t see support in you. Therefore, in the future she will have to bear everything on herself. And few people will like this prospect;
• A girl gets MARRIED, so she should be behind her husband like behind a stone wall, and not vice versa;
• You have nothing in common, so you don’t suit her either in your worldview or in your attitude to life;
• You're cheating on her. Girls need a serious relationship, but she doesn’t need a frivolous man;
• You don’t appreciate her, you don’t understand her, you don’t pay attention to her.

How to get over a breakup easier

If a girl dumps you, don’t feel sorry for yourself. Perhaps she left not because you are bad, but simply fell in love with someone else. There is no need to withdraw into yourself and feel humiliated.

Chat more with friends. Usually a guy has one or more friends with whom he can share his experiences.

Do what you love and increase your self-esteem. Go in for sports, physical exercise will help throw out negative emotions. Watch interesting films, play computer games, read books. And think about your plans for the future.

What not to do after a breakup

• Do not drink alcoholic beverages. When you drink, you lose control of yourself. This will not provide relief, but it can create other problems;
• Do not call or send SMS messages. So a girl can keep you as a backup option, but do you need that?
• If you don’t agree to remain her friend, you will never become her husband.

Completely ignoring and having no interest in a girl's life will make her more interested in your life. Maybe you'll have a chance to get her back.

A few months will pass, and you may no longer remember your relationship with your ex-girlfriend. And new relationships always arise unexpectedly. Therefore, there is no need to feel sorry for yourself, but you need to use the time after separation to benefit yourself.

You can extract positive aspects from every situation: you gain certain experience, make new connections, and new opportunities arise.

Is it possible to have a beautiful and painless separation?

Relationships with a married man - what to do if you fall in love, how to break up

How to break up with a man and not hurt him? It’s worth starting to think about whether this is possible. In this case, everything depends on the partner. If a girl is dating a womanizer or gigolo, then the breakup will not be a “blow” for him.

On the other hand, if the guy really loves his chosen one, but she has reason to say goodbye. In this case, it will not be possible to do this painlessly, since separation is stressful for both partners. You can only soften the situation.

Is it worth making a breakup beautiful? For some people, the setting of romance and a nice farewell really suits them. But such a breakup cannot be perceived correctly by all guys. The man will continue to hope for something, thereby hurting himself and the girl.

Breakup during pregnancy: how to survive it

Fate itself suggests a way out of this situation. Having a baby and caring for it will be a good distraction.

If a guy is ready to leave you despite your pregnancy, do not regret anything and end the relationship with him immediately. Don't humiliate yourself in front of him. If he abandoned you during a difficult time, then there is no guarantee that he will not be able to do the same in the future.

Don’t isolate yourself, talk to your friends, see a psychologist, pour out all the pain that has accumulated in you.

Don’t try to see your child as the cause of your troubles. A child is a blessing that gives the joy of motherhood. And, besides this, he will save you in time from the unreliable person who happens to be next to you.

Of course, you wouldn’t wish the situation you find yourself in on your enemy. You blame yourself for choosing the wrong person in the first place. The husband - in his betrayal and leaving for another woman. And it is difficult for you to come to terms with the fact that your paths have diverged.

But is it worth torturing yourself? On the contrary, you should be glad that the person unworthy of you left your life in time. No one knows how your future life with him would have turned out. And now you are free and can build new relationships.

Ways to break up

How you decide to tell your guy about your breakup is extremely important. But no matter what option you choose, you must adhere to the basic rules. You should not insult your ex-lover or speak badly about him among friends and acquaintances. General and personal secrets must be kept secret. Psychologists recommend listening to the following advice:

1. Find the right place and time to communicate your decision. However, there is no need to use this moment as another excuse and drag out the separation for months. But if a man comes home from work angry or upset, then it is better to postpone the conversation until tomorrow.
2. Keep calm. Aggression and impulsiveness are not the best friends at such a moment. There is a risk of saying too much and turning the situation into a scandal.
3. Prepare for the worst. You cannot predict another person's reaction. You need to understand that the response will most likely be an aggressive reaction.
4. There is no turning back now. A balanced decision must be reasoned. Hesitation shows indecision and leaves false hope. Which can cause even more pain to your partner.
5. Gratitude is the best solution. Don't blame each other during or after a breakup. Say thank you for your time and experience.

READ How to break up with a girl if you love her, but there is no future

Eyes to eyes

This is the best option.
Show respect for the person you were in a relationship with. Take courage and speak about the decision in person. Seeing the reaction, one can put it mildly. Don't part ways in places that are important to both of you. Do this on neutral territory in a cafe or park. Before speaking, think about not only what you want to say, but also anticipate possible reactions. It would be ideal to be honest about the reasons that prompted you to make such a decision. There is no need to hide them behind general phrases.

During a personal meeting, no matter how it ends, be sure to control your emotions. Insisting on your own and being firm is the best option. No rudeness, anger or aggression, even if the partner reacted very emotionally.

Revelation on paper

Better than a message on the networks, old-fashioned but effective. If you don’t have enough courage to talk face to face, then you can write a letter. This way you can express your emotions and experiences to the fullest, without fear of backlash. Showing respect is a long, beautifully written letter.

You can replace a paper letter with a message online. Brevity is the worst enemy here: the longer the message, the softer the partner will perceive it.

Talking on the phone

Still haven’t found the courage to speak face to face, but written communication seems old-fashioned? Then the news can be communicated by talking on a mobile phone. To avoid unpleasant, awkward situations, you should outline a rough conversation plan on a piece of paper and only then call.

READ How to understand that a guy wants to break up: signs of crisis and tips

If the decision is made, then hesitation is unnecessary. Talking about the reasons for the breakup and admitting that you don’t want to continue the relationship is the best option. Don't give false hope and empty promises.

Through mutual friends

A dangerous enterprise, and also irresponsible. Essentially, the girl hides behind her friends to avoid an angry reaction in person. There is no need to tell the news to a large group of friends, where most likely there will be those who will dissuade you from the idea.

But if this method is the most comfortable for a girl, then it is important to choose the one whom the guy trusts the most. Ask him to explain himself and tell him the bad news. This person should tell the reasons briefly and not give hope for the possibility of a second chance.

Warning your ex-boyfriend about his temper is very important. But it’s better to do everything yourself, pluck up the courage.

How to survive a breakup with a married lover

Few women are satisfied with a hopeless relationship with a married lover. And although strong feelings tear the soul apart, the woman still understands that this cannot continue like this. She needs a free and reliable man, a strong family.

It’s hard to break off a relationship with a person you’ve become attached to. And no matter how severe the pain of parting is, it must be survived. The main thing is to understand that the right decision has been made.

You need to break up with your married lover as early as possible so as not to waste time on unpromising relationships.

Why you need to break up with your married lover

Life shows that a married man does not leave his family for his mistress. This means that the years you spend on it will lead to nothing. You will not have a family, legitimate children, joint recreation, or a comfortable old age with your loved one.

Over time, the relationship will end, the love will pass, or he will get tired of living with 2 families. Then this person will remain with his family, and you will be left alone. And the years go by and the older you get, the more difficult it will be for you to find a worthy man.

And even if he leaves the family, you will have to live with a traitor. He is already accustomed to such a life and, most likely, you will find yourself in the place of his ex-wife. He will also cheat, lie, stay late at work, and spend the family budget on a new mistress.

To make it easier to cope with a breakup, remember some points:

• Every meeting with this person will hurt you deeply, so try to avoid meeting with him;
• Don't be left alone with your pain. Share it with your mother, sister, friend, but only if you are sure that you will be supported and encouraged;
• Change your surroundings. Take a vacation and go relax at the seaside;
• Do what you love;
• Get rid of everything that reminds you of your lover;
• Calm down, come to your senses and think about a new relationship.

Possible reasons for separation

Girlfriends insist on his integrity, that breaking off relations with him is a mistake. But only the girl has the right to decide whether she should spend time with a young man or not. Observations will help answer the question of whether it is worth diverging. Several months have passed since we met, and there are more and more alarming incidents:

READ What is a friend zone, its main signs and how to get out of it

• Spends most of his time with friends and in companies.
• Avoids heart-to-heart conversations, does not maintain a conversation.
• Looks towards other girls, corresponds on networks.
• No longer shows care and affection, does not give compliments.
• Ignores calls and messages, takes a long time to respond.
• Finds reasons to postpone a meeting or does not attend it.
• Doesn't help, doesn't accompany.
• Doesn't try to please, surprise, amuse.
• He does not want to make peace if the quarrel was his fault.
• Everything about his partner irritates him.
• Becomes greedy.

These are just a few reasons, but they clearly convey that the feelings have passed and it’s time to move on. Breaking up is difficult, especially if the relationship is long-term. But one component is enough: there are no more feelings.

You should not maintain a relationship out of a sense of habit or duty.

Advice from a psychologist: how to get over a breakup easier

Anything happens in life, including breakups. To make them easier to cope with:

• You must understand that there is nothing stable in this world and very rare relationships last a lifetime;
• If you have a favorite activity that you are passionate about and want to live for, then it supports you emotionally, recharges you and gives you a purpose in life. You get pleasure and enjoyment from your favorite hobby. And then even parting with your loved one will be less painful;
• Relationships are important in a person's life. In them, a person realizes himself and helps another person realize himself, and establishes emotional contact with a partner. And yet, relationships cannot be the goal of life;
• Many girls dream of a family and children, so they create illusions about a relationship with a loved one. They dream of a man who will take care of her and protect her. But sooner or later, the illusions are shattered, and girls have to seek help and advice from a psychologist, to figure out why their loved one left her;
• It is very important not to become depressed after a breakup. In reality, everything may not be so serious. A little time will pass and it may turn out that this was not your “half”.

The best advice to a person who has experienced a breakup is to be a little selfish and devote all your free time to yourself for your loved one. Do what you love, communicate only with those you want.

Failures in relationships may be associated with low self-esteem, which makes it difficult to fight moral violence. Or, conversely, overestimated, when you cannot adequately assess your partner’s personal qualities.

Only by soberly assessing the situation can you avoid its repetition.

What to say or write to a guy that you are breaking up

Girls often have difficulty with how to tell a good guy that you are breaking up. Here it is important not to aggravate the situation and, for fear of the reaction of others, not to make a mistake:

• The decision must be communicated within a short period of time and the separation should not be prolonged. This is a waste of personal time, you will have to lie about your feelings, pretend to be in love, which is even worse.
• Keep gossip and nasty things to yourself. Do not invent bad stories about your ex-lover, denigrating him in the eyes of friends and family. Most likely, this will ruin the reputation of the one who revealed the secrets.

In addition, psychology will tell you how to tell a man about a breakup so as not to harm either yourself or him:

1. Cutting all the wires and burning the bridges is the right decision. There is no need to follow him online or look for meetings.
2. You will have to choose your words very carefully. And the brighter the emotional state is conveyed, the better.
3. Stay friendly, but don't give false hope that we can get back together someday.

Farewell letter to boyfriend

The written message should reflect your feelings. Whatever the attitude towards the person, show respect for him and gratitude for the path traveled. You can write the following:

"Hello. I know that you are not online, so I decided to write now. Lately our relationship has hardly resembled a happy couple. I thought for a long time, analyzed everything that happened and decided that it was better for us to break up. I hope this letter doesn’t hurt you.”

whom you love

For various reasons, people decide to break up even if they love each other. The reasons may be different, but sooner or later they lead to separation. To cause less offense, you can write this:

“I still love you, but I no longer have the strength to be in this relationship. They prevent me from living and being happy. I tried many times to fix something, to improve relationships. But all to no avail. I decided that we need to break up."

who offended

Writing a letter to someone who has caused deep emotional suffering can be the hardest thing to do. Mentally you will have to return to the moment when the offense caused maximum pain. However, this will have to be done to put an end to it.

“Hey, I still haven’t been able to forgive what you did. I tried to suppress it within myself, but I no longer had the strength. Let everyone now go their own way.”

which changed

Treason can destroy even the strongest and most long-term union. It may be impossible to gather your thoughts and personally announce a decision. The pain turns out to be stronger. You can write the following in your message:

“I realized that I could never forgive you. What you did killed my feelings for you. We both need to change our lives, especially since you have already started it. We are not together anymore".

Former

Long-term relationships are difficult to break.
The young man could have meant a lot, but for some reason the time had come to part ways. The letter can be short and succinct: “The time I spent with you was wonderful! I will remember you, your kisses and hugs. Now it's all like a sweet dream. I know that we have not been in the same place for a long time, but I wanted to put an end to it for myself. Forgive me for everything, goodbye."

To my beloved husband

Marriage imposes certain obligations on spouses. Relationships often do not stand the test of time and difficulties, and couples decide to separate and continue to live separately. You can write a message to your husband in the following form:

“You will be like family to me. I remember our first meeting, first kiss and trip to the sea. Do you remember this? It was a wonderful time, we were in love and happy. But everything is over, we are two loneliness, not destined to be together. Forgive me, goodbye."

For a married man

A relationship with a married guy takes a lot of energy and emotions from a girl. Realizing that such a union has no future, the girl can write the following to the young man:

“You are not my man. All this time I believed that I could come to terms with it, but this did not happen. It's time to leave, return to your family. We are no more. Forgive me, let me go and don’t write anymore.”

who threw

In this case, the guy initiated the breakup, but the lady cannot let him go. Feelings interfere with normal life, and it’s time to put them in writing. If you can’t find the words yourself, you can express it like this:

“I love you, I’m sorry that I still couldn’t cope with my feelings. I’m offended and hurt, tears don’t allow me to call and say all this. I remember our meetings, kisses, hugs. Remember that in your environment there will be a person who loves you and will accept you at any moment.”

Whom you don't love

Unrequited feelings bring pain. To save a person from this, you can inform him online that nothing can happen between you. The appeal must be presented in a soft form, showing goodwill and attention to his feelings, even if unrequited.

“You are a wonderful person, you have become a true friend to me. I know that you have strong feelings for me, but I cannot reciprocate your feelings. I don’t want to cause pain, but it’s important for me to remain honest with you. Forgive me, goodbye."

Letter to SMS

A not entirely honest and at the same time cruel way to break an alliance.
Short messages are not suitable for such news. It is important to show at least minimal respect for the person and break up in person. If you don’t have enough courage, then it’s better to do it through social networks. Short SMS messages cannot become a full-fledged farewell. Anyone who does this should be prepared for calls and counter SMS from their partner. After all, parting raises questions, bewilderment, fear, and anxiety. You can choose the option of saying goodbye via SMS only if the guy brought deep mental suffering, offended, or cheated.

Touching poems

Old-fashioned, romantic and very painful. Ending a conversation with a poem, especially a touching and tender one, is not the best way. This can cause suffering to the partner and lead to a large number of text messages asking for everything back.

There are a lot of poems on the Internet that are suitable for the last message, but it is better not to use this method. Prose will convey feelings and have a less painful effect. After all, the golden age of poetry is long behind us.

Using poems as a parting gesture can cause not only frustration, but also anger on the part of your partner. Especially if such a verse is easy to find on the Internet. It’s another matter if the verse is written independently.

What mistakes do people make after a breakup?

Instead of understanding themselves, many quickly look for a replacement for their loved one. And usually this does not lead to anything good. Before looking for love, you need to love yourself.

There is no need to try to return to your previous relationship, even if it seems to you that you cannot live without this person. It's just fear speaking in you. After a long relationship, it’s scary to be alone, and this is a completely normal reaction.

There is no need to try to return your loved one if he does not want it himself. Even if he returns, the relationship will no longer be the same, and it is unlikely that anything good will come out of the future relationship.

If your relationship ended and you had to break up, then all your love was a façade. There is no need to cling to it, but you need to soberly assess the situation and make a decision for yourself on how to build your life in the future, without your loved one.

No matter how painful it is, you have to leave and leave forever.

After breaking up with your loved one, there is no need to quickly look for a replacement and try to “tie” him for a long time. This does not mean that you don’t need to communicate and get to know anyone. No, you need to meet new people, enjoy relationships, but not try to make these relationships long-lasting. In six months to a year, internal sensations will tell you whether it is worth continuing further.

And you must understand that the person should not be your property. He just needs to be happy. Just like you, he must live his own life and have the right to choose.