Why do girls leave guys?
There are many reasons why girls initiate breakups. The following are the most common problems in relationships that lead to their end.
Found another man
One of the most painful reasons for separation for both guys and girls is the replacement of one partner with another. If this happened, most likely, the ex-lover had been thinking about breaking up the relationship for a long time, but did not want to be alone. When she found a new admirer, she hastened to get rid of the old burden.
I fell out of love
Many girls idealize their lover, but the illusions are always unjustified. After the chosen one realizes that her expectations from the relationship or the object of her desire are not met, very often the feelings go away. Most likely, this was not the guy's fault, and the problem is with the girl. This statement does not apply if the relationship has the following problems.
Your life goals are not the same
It is very difficult to go through life together if a couple has different priorities in life. It is impossible to maintain a relationship when one wants a family, and the other does not recognize marriage, or when a girl strives to develop a career, and her boyfriend wants his beloved to be a housewife. However, if the views do not contradict each other, there is no threat to the relationship.
Tired of your inattention, frequent quarrels and misunderstandings
Every girl wants her chosen one to be very attentive to her, her desires, and characteristics. When a guy is completely uninterested in his beloved, she will soon be disappointed in the relationship.
Also, no one likes quarrels. Reproaches and dissatisfaction have never made feelings stronger, so men, as the stronger sex, need to learn forbearance. Remember that only those who value another person are ready to forgive and solve problems. If your girlfriend is really important to you, then you should at least try to find a compromise.
Despite the fact that guys often talk about the lack of logic in girls, you still need to understand your companion. Moreover, it is necessary for the development of relationships. For most female representatives, a lover is the person who can be trusted and told everything, and if he does not understand his chosen one, this can lead to a breakup.
You stopped being interesting to her:
- You don't develop, you degrade. Nobody likes to communicate with a stupid person. Most girls want to admire their chosen one, and also boast about his character and development in front of their friends. When a guy degrades, his companion begins to exalt herself over her beloved, and the feeling of superiority does not coexist with love.
- You've become fat and you don't take care of yourself. Despite the fact that girls often say that appearance is not important to them, in practice something completely different is revealed. Indeed, your beloved may become very cold if you lose your attractiveness and gain weight, but this does not happen often. There are many more cases when girls don’t like the fact that a guy doesn’t take care of himself. Dirt under the nails, unpleasant smell and other things only cause a feeling of disgust. And saying that a man must be fierce, smelly and hairy is not an excuse, otherwise you risk being left alone.
- You sit on the couch for days and play games. When a guy spends a lot of time playing various computer games, girls often get offended. Your chosen one will consider such entertainment a waste of time that you could devote to her. Also, if a loved one is constantly lazy, then it becomes much more difficult for female representatives to cope with their responsibilities; they need to help her at least sometimes. Remember, a girl should not carry everything on herself.
What to do if your girlfriend leaves you
Accept and understand the situation
Unfortunately, sometimes it is impossible to fix anything and return your beloved, which means that you need to come to terms with your situation. First of all, admit to yourself that you made a mistake and lost your girlfriend. Recognizing your own wrongdoings doesn't necessarily restore your relationship, but it will change the way you view yourself and the situation.
Find out the real reasons
It is also necessary to figure out what was the real reason for the breakup. You need to remember that the main goal is not to get the girl back, but to correct yourself in order to avoid the same mistakes in the future, but do not overdo it with soul-searching - this will negatively affect self-esteem. If the reason for the separation was different life goals, then there is no need to change them, just continue to pay attention to the priorities of the other chosen one.
Let her go or try to get her back
When a girl initiates a breakup, think carefully about whether it’s worth restoring the relationship. Perhaps your ex-girlfriend just wants attention and doesn't really want to lose you. There is nothing wrong with trying to get your lover back, but you shouldn’t make a lot of attempts, since the girl may start taking advantage of her admirer.
Get over the pain of parting
You should distract yourself from your situation and try to occupy your thoughts with other issues. In fact, getting over a breakup is much more difficult than it might seem. It is very important not to become isolated, but to diversify your life as much as possible. This topic will be discussed in more detail below.
Mistakes you shouldn't make
Ask and beg her in every possible way to come back
You should not constantly pursue your ex-lover; she is unlikely to like such obsession. In addition, it humiliates the person, which also does not contribute to the development of relationships. If you manage to get your chosen one back, there is a possibility that she will begin to take advantage of you.
Blackmail or revenge
More than a plea to return, a man is humiliated only by blackmail and revenge. Remember that girls are sure that guys are checked when breaking up. It is your behavior after a breakup that will show what kind of person you really are.
Giving gifts and flowers
You should also not buy your ex-lover a lot of gifts. This behavior is more like trying to buy a girl. Also, the chosen one may begin to torture and use you in some way. Requests to buy something will begin to become more frequent, and the cost of gifts will increase. Even if you can afford to buy a luxurious present for a girl, you should not give her a reason to crush you under her.
Sit and wait for your ex to come back
Also, don’t flatter yourself with hopes that your ex-companion will suddenly change her mind and decide to restore the relationship. Hopes for a comeback will likely be dashed, which will only lead to more disappointment. It's better to start trying to forget the girl and move on.
We broke up, but continue to communicate and call each other
The best thing to do is stop communicating with your ex-girlfriend. One of you may start to have feelings again, which will lead to new disappointments and pain. Don't complicate your relationship. If you broke up with a girl, it means that there were serious reasons for this, love has faded, trust has disappeared, and it becomes impossible to communicate well with the person. Also, it is impossible to calmly watch how the previous chosen one builds a new relationship.
Open relationship or sex without commitment
The consequences of this error are similar to the previous point. You cannot grow cold towards a person while continuing to share the same bed with him. It must be remembered that after breaking up, you need to forget the person and move on, and this is not possible if you sleep with your ex-companion. One day, at least for one of the couple, an open relationship will develop into strong feelings.
House or cafe, cafe or house?4
How to be? Where to tell your girlfriend about the breakup? At home or in a cafe? Good question. It all depends, of course, on the temperament of your woman. You can inform about the separation at home if you are sure that she will not throw a tantrum and will not hit and crush all the objects that come into her hand on your head.
Of course, she can act as in that joke: “I told the girl about the breakup. I walked out the door and heard a shot. I thought I shot myself. I'm coming back. No, the champagne was opened by a bitch. Celebrating." However, the likelihood of such an outcome is very low.
Psychologists recommend reporting such news in public places. It is advisable to choose a small and uncrowded cafe. Also make sure that it is not far from home and that your girlfriend can easily find her way back if she is upset.
Just don't be thick-skinned and choose a place to break up that was special to your couple. “Darling, do you remember how I invited you to this restaurant, confessed my love and proposed to date you? I decided that where we started our relationship is where we should end.
So you can order your favorite fish and dessert for the last time, we’ll have a quiet dinner, and then we’ll go home, I’ll pack my things and move back to my mother.” At best, she will order all the dishes on the menu and ruin you; at worst, all visitors to the restaurant will learn a lot of interesting things about you.
“My ex turned out to be such a bug. He invited me to the restaurant and was so gallant and polite all evening. Maybe more wine? Let's try their signature salad? If you want, I'll order you a light dessert. I’m still thinking to myself where such miracles of generosity come from from this pathological greedy person. And at the end of dinner I gave out the news, they say, I’m leaving you. That's when I realized what the catch was. He specially created an atmosphere so that I would relax and would not want to spoil the last evening together. (Katya, 21 years old)
I want the girl to regret leaving and want to come back
Don't show that you're in too much pain
What surprises the girl most after a breakup is the fact that her ex practically doesn’t worry about the breakup. Even if in reality it will be incredibly painful for you, but no one should know about it, except perhaps your closest friend. This behavior will attract the young lady's attention. Also, she will have many questions about the subject of her former crush. This can be used for your own benefit and restoration of relationships.
Live brightly and in plain sight
Following this advice is quite easy thanks to the existence of many different social networks. You should post as many interesting photos as possible. You can also try something new and tell friends you have in common with your ex-companion about it, since most likely she will find out about your new hobbies.
Flirt with others in front of her, make her jealous
A good way to get your loved one back is to make her jealous by showing attention to other girls. Most likely, she will realize that she was mistaken and she has feelings for you. However, it is also important not to overdo it with flirting with others, as this can only anger your ex and turn you away. Besides, you may seem very stupid to her, or she will understand your motives.
Remind yourself periodically
You can sometimes remind you of your existence. You don’t have to cut off absolutely all contacts, but occasionally write something on social networks. The simplest, but not always effective way is to rate or comment on her new photos or posts. You can also congratulate your ex-lover on the holidays. This will serve as a conversation starter that can be used to build rapport.
Start an easy new romance
Also, a guy can start a new romance with another girl in order to attract the attention of his ex. However, it should be remembered that this method does not work for all representatives of the fairer sex. In addition, even if jealousy helps restore your relationship with your beloved, you will hurt another girl who does not deserve it. Since you know from your own experience how a person feels after betrayal, you should not want someone else to experience the same emotions.
Hurt her without giving yourself away
You can easily attract a girl’s attention to yourself by hurting her. You can ask your friend to say something unpleasant to your ex-girlfriend. For example, let him lie that you are not worried or have even found a replacement, or that you do not like some of her personal characteristics: her manner of speaking, laughter, something in her appearance. However, this is one of the most impractical and base ways to make a girl feel sorry. Perhaps, after some time, you will regret this action and realize that you only humiliated yourself, and not the girl.
Options for how a girl should respond to a breakup message6
Girls are unpredictable creatures, so how she will react to the news of a breakup is impossible to predict. Just be emotionally prepared for your options.
In case she suddenly starts screaming, hysterical and shedding tears, it would be a good idea to take earplugs and a pack of paper napkins with her. Things will get worse if the girl suddenly starts talking about her love, falls to her knees and begs for a second chance. Here you will need to show steely restraint and let her understand that all her persuasion, broadcasts and requests are meaningless.
Another behavior option on the girl’s part is to calmly accept the news of a breakup. “Do you want to break up with me? OK. I agree. I also think that you are not worthy of me. Of course I'll find something better. Do not worry. The main thing is that you can find someone like me. By the way, don’t ask me back - I won’t accept it.” After such words, even the most strong-willed man suddenly doubts his decision.
When my Andryusha told me about the breakup, I was already ready for it. Our relationship recently was far from ideal, and separation was inevitable. I received the news coldly and distantly; it seems to me that he was even confused by my reaction. After he left, I howled like a beluga for three days, but I was proud that I didn’t show him how bad I was. (Ira, 29 years old)
The girl you love left - 5 ways to let go and forget faster
1. Get immersed in your work
Work is the best way to distract yourself from unpleasant thoughts. Try to devote as much time as possible to your career and also give your best. This will not only help you get through a difficult breakup, but also improve your financial condition. Also, it’s a good idea to change jobs if the previous one has no prospects or is not inspiring.
2. Go all out in the gym.
Any unpleasant and painful situation can be turned into good. This statement also applies to breaking up with girls. An incredibly effective way to forget your loved one is constant training. If a guy pushes himself in the gym and gets tired, then he will have neither the strength nor the time to worry about the breakup and thoughts about his ex-girlfriend.
3. Moving away from your ex-girlfriend
It is also worth trying to distance yourself from the person who caused you pain, at least for the first time. A kind of information vacuum should be created so as not to know what is happening in her life. Stop asking your friends about her, don't follow updates on social networks. Moreover, try to expand your circle of acquaintances. Get to know other people, including girls. Try not to compare them with your ex, but appreciate their personal characteristics. This may not be suitable for everyone, some people need to be alone and sort themselves out, so act as you feel.
4. Find a new hobby
New sensations will help distract you from painful thoughts. For example, a new hobby can bring you real pleasure, and such a positive emotion cannot exist with sadness, so enjoy life. Try what you have wanted for a long time, but constantly refused your own desires. You shouldn't wait for a special occasion to become happy, but try to take advantage of the freedom in terms of relationships to improve yourself. Let negative experiences make you better and more interesting than before. Also, it is best to take some courses, since if you learn something on your own, you can unknowingly pick up a new hobby.
5. Read more and watch movies
To avoid thinking negatively, you need to be positive. A good way to achieve this state is to read optimistic books and watch movies. Good cartoons also help some people, but this is not necessary. Remember that reading books will also have a positive effect on your development and will not allow you to degenerate. And knowledge of popular films will add interesting topics for conversations with other people. In addition, novels are very motivating and also convince us that the world around us is truly amazing.
Arguments decide everything!5
So, you're more determined than ever, the place and time have been chosen, and your girlfriend has been warned that you're going out to dinner together on Thursday night. Now you need to clearly think through what and how you will say.
The voice should be confident and categorical, because if a girl feels even the slightest bit of doubt in it, she will cling to you like a bulldog to a bone and will not let go. You can again resort to the help of a mirror and rehearse.
Think what you say and don't say what you think. In general, this golden rule must always be followed. And in the event of a painful separation, retreating from it is tantamount to execution.
Naturally, it would be like a man if you take all the blame for the breakup. “You are wonderful, you are every man’s dream. But, unfortunately, I don’t love you.” There is no need for unnecessary words or phrases, say everything clearly and to the point. State the facts and do not allow yourself to be drawn into an argument or dialogue. Let your girlfriend understand that you have made a decision for yourself and it is not subject to discussion.
How to make a girl leave you
We have already talked about the most common reasons for breaking up a relationship. In fact, it is much easier to destroy a relationship than to build one, therefore, most often, it does not take much time to disappoint a girl.
- First of all, don't give your girlfriend a lot of time. As mentioned above, girls are offended by their lover’s inattention. Also, start noticing her shortcomings, provoke quarrels. A potential ex is unlikely to endure reproaches for long. In addition to this, it is worth starting to talk about the desire to make your relationship free, that is, without obligations.
- Start condemning her world views and principles. Remember how girls are upset by contradictions in worldviews. If your chosen one is well-mannered, start behaving inappropriately, swearing in her presence, insulting friends and family. However, it is also worth knowing when to stop. In combination with this, try to look stupider.
- Also, stop protecting her and being a supporter. Be irresponsible, constantly communicate with friends, not with her. You can also pay attention to other females, but don’t let things get to the point of cheating, this could hurt her too much. Instead, compare her to other girls and your ex-lovers. Of course, it is inappropriate to be gentle with her, but you should not overdo it either.
- You can also try to make her feel disgusted with herself because of your appearance. Wear dirty and unpleasant-smelling things, and do not take care of yourself in other areas. No girl wants to continue a relationship with a guy who resembles a homeless man.
- The most radical way to disappoint a girl in herself is to start living at her expense, constantly asking for money and making scandals about it. You can either spend all your money on entertainment, or even lose your job, but the losses may not justify the goal.
- However, it should be remembered that every self-respecting guy would not stoop to deliberately ruining relationships. It’s better to try to refresh your feelings, and if that doesn’t work, then discuss it honestly and openly and part without reproaches or scandals.
