Sometimes relationships between lovers reach a dead end. When a couple realizes that love is gone and there is no desire to return it, they break up. But it often happens that it is not love that leaves, but a loved one. One way or another, separation brings mental suffering to both. Women are especially worried. How to move on if your boyfriend left you? How to cope with your emotions, find the strength to turn this page of your life?
From this article you will learn:
- Why did it happen that the guy left, and how to live with it further
- How to get through the hardest part of breaking up with a guy
- What to do after you have fully realized the situation that the guy left you and you need to move on with your life
- What to do if you want to get back the guy who dumped you
- What to do if you want to forget the guy who left you forever
- What you definitely shouldn't do if your boyfriend dumps you
Stay proud
Whatever the parting may be - a sincere conversation or leaving “in English”, it is necessary to let the young man go and not interfere with his decision. Trying to win him back with tears and hysterics, the girl will only arouse pity or push her ex away even more.
It is necessary to understand that life does not end after a breakup, and to remain relatively calm at the moment of separation.
Calmness on the girl's part will leave the guy confused. This will also help her feel confident in the future, because she came out of such a difficult situation in the most favorable light. And remembering how she sat in snot and tears in front of her offender will be shameful and unpleasant.
Analyze the situation with a sober head2
Yes, getting drunk after a breakup is one of the most popular “resurrection rites.” In fact, this is fraught with unpleasant consequences. Firstly, under the influence of alcohol, there will be a high temptation to call your ex and yell at him, or cry, or even accidentally mix up the numbers and call the teacher.
Secondly, after a safely spent fun night, the morning will come, and signs of a hangover will only worsen your already shaky state. What if one of your mutual friends sees your ex-girlfriend in an inconspicuous form? Gossip and discussions will begin, which will definitely reach your ex.
Prohibited actions and errors
If your feelings for a man are very strong, it is difficult to control yourself. Very often, after a breakup, girls in love feel very bad and, in a fit of emotion, make stupid mistakes.
Psychologists remind girls how not to behave:
- pester the guy with questions, finding out why he decided to leave. At first, it is better to limit communication altogether;
- say unpleasant things to your chosen one, insult a person over the phone or on social networks (especially publicly);
- offer friendly communication;
- rush into the arms of the first man you come across in order to arouse feelings of jealousy in your ex;
- try to spend more time with his friends. This will only ruin your ex's attitude towards you;
- visit the places where he happens most often. The young man will soon realize that you are here only because of him;
- trying to talk to your ex's new girlfriend and interfering in their relationship;
- close yourself off from the world and become depressed;
- drink alcohol to dull the senses;
- telling strangers what happened. They may give advice that will make the situation worse;
- spread gossip about a man.
If an abandoned girl does something like this, it will only aggravate her deplorable condition, and the young man will be completely disappointed in his former chosen one. Should you text your ex-boyfriend who left you alone? Most likely, this will lead to nothing and you will not receive replies to SMS.
What is flirting and how to seduce a guy correctly? Effective tips for shy women
Don't be angry3
It would be better to wish your ex-boyfriend all the best and block the number, page (or leave with your head held high) than to bombard him with reproaches and nasty things. This does not mean that former lovers will never be able to communicate again in their lives. It’s just that at the initial stage the girl must recover from the resentment and indignation that she wants to throw out in his eyes.
If you start insulting a man, he will only be convinced that he did the right thing by breaking up with the lady. Therefore, it is better to wait out the period of “storm” in the soul somewhere away from it.
If you feel like you will be abandoned?
Throw first! There is a chance that he will regret it and come back. It happens. You have to break it off in one fell swoop: you can even come to him and say: “I love you, but we won’t be together anymore.” It will be bitter, terribly bitter, from the collapse of your unfulfilled hopes. During these hours, spend time with someone truly close to you. Just stay nearby, without unnecessary words or explanations. Tell me, I need to go through the pain associated with the loss of very important feelings. Listen to your favorite music with a friend, talk about nothing and, at the same time, about everything at once. It is important to know that when you took a risky step and quit, you avoided a painful showdown and the pain of separation. Let your former loved one feel sorry.
Don't make hasty decisions4
We are talking about an offer to remain friends. It is clear that this will be a desperate attempt to stay close to the guy for whom you have feelings, but it is better to think ahead, will such a friendship bring pleasure to both?
Initially, it will be difficult to change the format of the relationship. The girl is used to walking with a guy by the hand, but now they are just walking next to each other. Previously, he always kissed her goodbye, but now he awkwardly hugs her or high-fives her. This will upset the fairer sex. What happens if your ex finds a new girlfriend? Then even more injury cannot be avoided.
After a breakup, it's better to wait. Time will tell if the couple can date again as friends.
Why is it hard to let go?
Practicing psychologists have long ago sorted out the situation of a breakup. The difficulties of separation are explained simply:
- You are dependent on him. Coffee in the morning, sweets for tea and hugs from a loved one - each of us has our own set of habits. Forced refusal of any of them leads to internal discomfort. It seems like something is missing. There is an urgent need to fill the void. It is very necessary for someone to call again every five minutes, wait at the entrance and hold your hand tightly for as long as possible.
- You are afraid of the unknown. Girls don't live one day at a time. The scenario of a happy love story is written in their minds for years to come, right down to the words “and they died on the same day.” The disappearance of the main actor horrifies Juliet. The original plan collapsed, and there is no plan B yet. Fear of the new makes you frantically grab onto the old in order to return everything to its usual state.
By eliminating both causes, you can breathe a sigh of relief.
Conversations with friends5
Not about your ex-boyfriend! In the company of close friends, you can discuss this unpleasant story, listen to words of support in response, and that will be enough. We must not forget that friends can also have problems, and focusing all the attention on your troubles is, at a minimum, not decent. Constantly talking about your ex can infuriate and irritate your friends, no matter how much they want to help.
In addition, if you often discuss the action of your beloved, you will not be able to quickly forget it. Memories will once again bring pain.
Conversations with loved ones will help you survive the tragedy, if it is gossip, discussion of fashion trends in clothing, hobbies, etc. Conversations are the easiest tool to forget your ex-man.
How to move on and forget the guy who left you
In cases where the decision is made not to return anything, the girl should change her behavior somewhat. Here are some simple tips on how to forget the guy who dumped you and get rid of the memories.
- You still love him, but he left. He felt bad and removed you from his life. Now you feel bad and you must get rid of this feeling. It’s difficult to call your suffering and experiences love - selfishness, loss of self-confidence, decreased self-esteem. Anything but love. Take care of yourself - erase memories of past relationships.
- Psychological, emotional, mental problems are perfectly solved by intense employment. Take all your time with work and study. Become a workaholic for a while. This is a very effective way to switch gears and not dwell on your problems.
- Avoid meeting your ex. If you already meet, be restrained, smile. Forget that this is the same guy who left you.
- Understand, he is not touched by your suffering, you are ruining your life and ruining your health.
- Fill even your free time from work with new interests. When your head is not occupied with anything in the evening, you can easily fall into despair, feel sad and mope. An interesting hobby will distract your thoughts.
The advice is simple, one might say banal, but it is difficult to follow. You will need willpower and, more importantly, a sincere desire and a firm decision not to restore the relationship. Having made your choice, you will understand how to live further, how to calmly survive a difficult period. As a bonus, you will receive invaluable experience.
Avoiding meetings with your ex6
Many girls dress up and appear as if “by chance” in the place where their ex is. This will most likely lead to further disappointments. After all, you can see that he is having fun and is quite comfortable without his significant other, that he communicates with other girls and, in principle, feels great.
The girl, who had previously cried into her pillow for a week, will get even more stressed and will again hide herself under the covers, with a package of life-saving chocolate (and more!).
It's best to do something that brings you pleasure. For example, go to a movie with friends (preferably not a melodrama, but an action or science fiction movie), attend a concert, spend a day in a beauty salon.
Stages of a breakup
Every breakup consists of a series of sequential events:
- Shock. The stage when emotions take precedence over reason. The abandoned young ladies perceive what happened as the end of the world, no less: “The heart is torn to pieces,” “I won’t survive this,” “The world has collapsed.” They cannot yet objectively assess the situation in this state, see not only the disadvantages, but also the advantages of what is happening. Tears, hysterics and chronic lack of sleep interfere.
- Interception plan. The girls go on the offensive. They try to return the prodigal partner through blackmail, pleas and the remnants of their charms. Usually unsuccessful. To prevent the level of suffering from a breakup from going off scale, it would be a good idea to skip this stage. It brings nothing but an additional dose of stress and humiliation. Men prefer to return rather than return. But, alas, the inconsolable Juliet clings to the last to the hope of returning the traitor.
- Acceptance of the situation. The most important stage on which the future of the unwitting victim of a breakup depends. How to survive a breakup with a guy with minimal losses? Understand, forgive and let go - just three steps separate you from normal life.
Ignoring his new relationship7
If the breakup occurred due to the appearance of another girl, you just need to score. By interfering with her ex’s new relationship, the girl only strengthens their connection, because they have a common “enemy”. Every time thoughts about your ex-boyfriend and your “rival” appear, you need to quickly be distracted by something.
Cook a meal, read a book, go to a group fitness class, go for a walk with a friend, etc. This will help you quickly forget the traitor and start life from scratch.
How beautiful I am, it’s unbearable!
Exactly, you are unbearably beautiful! Unbearable, because right now you are already going to the mirror, doing the most beautiful hairstyle and makeup. Then you throw open the closet doors and put on the most expensive, stunning outfit. If you have an item that you have been saving for a “special occasion”. So, this case has come! If there are no such things, go to the mall. Buy what you have long dreamed of. For example, Jimi Choo's lemon shoes. If you can't spend a pretty penny, opt for an accessory. This season, glasses of different shapes are trending. They will cost you 350-500 hryvnia. Or update your cosmetics.
Read also: Be on the lookout! 6 Most Unfaithful Zodiac Signs
You don't have to shovel everything on the counters. To get in the mood, just buy a new shade of lipstick or glitter shadow. By the way, “shining eyes” is the new feature of the season. But don’t forget, you are not a “magpie-crow” who has put everything on herself, you are a worthy and stylish woman.
Now that your new look is ready, go to the mirror, look at yourself and admit: you are beautiful! It may be difficult to do this right away, but it is simply necessary. Repeat while looking at yourself that you are the most charming, attractive and successful. Talk to yourself about the best qualities you have and those you want to acquire. Feel self-love, feel self-acceptance. As soon as this happens, move on to the next point.
Don't project your ex's behavior onto all guys8
You can’t jump to conclusions that all men are assholes, judging only by their ex. If this were so, then there would be no happy couples in the world. It is much more correct to look for individual positive aspects in each person.
The body’s natural reaction is to fear what has caused it pain (both physical and mental). Therefore, girls are often disappointed in the opposite sex and become closed to them. Such behavior can only do harm, because you can miss the chance to meet or get closer to someone who is truly worthy of love.
Rest from relationships9
If a girl is at a loss and doesn’t know what to do if her boyfriend left her, then she needs to be alone for some time. You shouldn’t quickly find a replacement for your beloved, or, even worse, mess with your ex’s friend.
Relationships that begin too quickly after a breakup are rarely successful. One of the parties always compares the other with the former half and constantly talks about her. And most importantly, the abandoned girl does not have time to analyze what her mistakes were in past relationships, and makes them again with a new partner.
Well, if you hit on a guy from a company where the couple used to go out together, then you can generally disgrace yourself for a long time. It’s better to cut off all contacts with the company, at least temporarily.
Should you regret the breakup?
Sometimes parting is a gift of fate for both the man and the girl who was abandoned. But many women begin to understand this only after some time.
The breakup is clearly for the better in the case when the chosen one completely dissolves in her partner, devoting her life to him. The girl becomes emotionally dependent on the object of love.
Such a woman believes that she gives her other half all her care, but in fact she turns into a creature that has no goals and interests. A person in love literally merges with her partner, not seeing herself and her future without this young man.
There is no need to be upset about a breakup if you have heard insults from a man or been assaulted. Often girls do not notice that the chosen one does not experience warm feelings, but only asserts himself at their expense. You should be grateful to this guy for ending a relationship that was destroying you as a person. Now you can meet a person next to whom you will feel true love, mutual understanding and support.
What to do after a breakup to ease the suffering?10
Firstly, do not restrain your emotions alone. If you want to cry, then you need to do it, and not repeat to yourself: “I’m strong, I won’t cry, he’s not worthy.” By holding back her emotions, the girl is exposed to even greater stress, which over time can even turn into illness. Therefore, it is normal to throw out emotions.
Secondly, focus on yourself. Get a new hairstyle, go in for sports, self-development. Plunge into your studies. Thirdly, if the breakup is very painful and difficult, then do not neglect the help of psychologists. Then there will be no questions about what to do if the guy left you, and a new life will begin very soon.
If you are interested in finding out what to do if a girl dumps you, follow the link! We will tell you everything about it!
Why did the guy leave and how to live with it further
When a guy dumps you, you need to think about the reasons for his decision. Of course, every girl begins to be tormented by thoughts about how good she is, how much love she gives to him, why he did this to her. But this is not the main thing - it is important exactly why this happened to you.
Both are always to blame. Maybe not equally, but the blame lies with both.
When a guy leaves for another girl, it means he didn’t receive enough love, affection, understanding and much more - he wasn’t happy with you.
When he simply breaks off a relationship, and does not replace it with others, he is tired of constant swearing and scandals. Feelings just cooled.
Or maybe your guilt is not so insignificant? Perhaps he found out about the betrayal or discovered your deception?
This is what a girl needs to understand when a guy leaves her, in order to correct mistakes (if it’s not too late), to try to “glue” the relationship together. Or realize the inevitability of what is happening and stop clinging to the past, turn the page and decide how to live on.
It is required to give an objective, devoid of emotional overtones, adequate assessment of the reasons for the breakdown of relations. Close people will help with this - sister, friend, mother. A good psychologist will be the best assistant in this situation.
If the reasons for the separation were grievances, frequent conflicts or minor offenses, then everything can be fixed. Talk to your loved one, try to convince them of your firm decision to remove these irritating factors from your relationship. Promise to be a good girl and become one. A date in a quiet, cozy place, a beautiful dress, stylish makeup and sincere words spoken from the heart, with great tenderness and warmth - this is what will melt the ice in the heart of a loving person.
This scheme does not work in only two cases: he does not love you or has left for another woman. There is nothing you can do here, you will have to retreat, no matter how much you love him. Numerous feminine tricks can help bring back such a guy, but only physically. He will never be with you in spirit and will not begin to love you. Do you need it? It's better to let him go. You will calm down and find true love.
How to move on when your boyfriend dumps you and it’s impossible to get him back. There are several useful and effective tips on how to overcome mental pain and get out of the situation gracefully:
- Cleansing. Remove from your life everything connected with him: phone numbers, pages on social networks, photographs, gifts. Everything that excites your consciousness makes you think about him.
- Changes. Change yourself and the environment around you. Change your hairstyle, clothing style, home decor. Find a new social circle, interests, activities. You will feel at your best again.
- Will. The pain won’t just leave you - memories will come flooding back and tears will roll down more than once. Then you need to show willpower, mobilize all its power.
- New hobbies. This is where you will need new hobbies, hobbies, and meeting people. Attend courses - dancing, drawing, photography, sports, music. Take everything seriously, improve both body and soul. The new world will distract you from difficult memories.
These tips may seem like bullying. You are climbing onto the ceiling in pain, your boyfriend left you, you don’t know how to move on with your life! And here they offer to enjoy the new life, rejoice and have fun. As long as the wound is fresh, it will be so. But over time, an understanding will come of how effective this technique is. She works! Otherwise, suffering will last indefinitely, depleting mental strength, paralyzing the will to live. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, take action. Become a happy person! After all, life is not over, and there are still so many pleasant events ahead, including new love.
