“Inconvenient children” in kindergarten: the story of a mother whose child became one of her least favorites

There are often cases when a child’s attention is completely scattered: either he forgets to write down his homework assignment, or he doesn’t remember what time lessons start tomorrow, or he didn’t take his notebooks or textbooks.

More than one parent wonders how to help their child avoid sitting for several hours on homework. Making comments doesn’t help, repeating the same thing over and over again just gets tired. We need to find some method on how to independently develop attentiveness in a child. All the tips are in our article.

Why children are distracted and inattentive: 6 reasons

You can notice that your child has distracted attention even in kindergarten. He does not play any game for a long time, he is generally not interested in activities that require perseverance: drawing, modeling from plasticine, putting together puzzles or mosaics.

But parents notice that their child is restless and inattentive, only at school.

The family situation affects the child's attentiveness

What to do when a student’s performance begins to suffer?

First of all, you need to determine the origins of childhood absent-mindedness:

  1. Distracted attention disorder usually goes hand in hand with hyperactivity disorder. In the scientific community, there is a short abbreviation for this condition: ADHD, or attention deficit hyperactivity disorder. Those children who receive this diagnosis are very active. It is actually difficult for them to overcome themselves and concentrate on any activity. They are constantly distracted by any reason. Once a diagnosis is made, corrective measures must be taken to prevent symptoms from worsening over time. The later treatment begins, the more difficult it is to administer.
  2. Sometimes parents themselves provoke the development of inattention in their child by showering him with toys. Due to the fact that every time the baby has a new hobby, he does not need to remember and become interested in something specific. Thus, memory training does not occur, and the baby becomes absent-minded. How to develop attentiveness in a child in this case? It’s very simple: stop buying more and more toys for your darling, despite your boundless love for him.
  3. If your baby often suffers from colds and viral diseases, you will not envy his general condition. Not only is all energy spent on fighting diseases, but the lack of oxygen, movement and sunlight also affects us. After all, a child with a cold won’t go for a walk! Concentration suffers from this, and the student becomes distracted, even if there is nothing at home to distract him from his studies.
  4. The home environment definitely affects a child's ability to focus on schoolwork. When parents, children, and grandparents live in a small apartment, you can only dream of silence. The second case is when adults constantly make trouble. The child’s psyche becomes unstable, he expects sudden loud sounds and is accustomed to listening to his surroundings. That is, there is never complete concentration on work.
  5. Another factor that negatively affects a child’s ability to concentrate is excessive workload. Ambitious parents want their offspring to be the most successful, the most gifted, and so on. Based on their selfish motives, they shift the burden onto the children’s fragile shoulders. The student is required to have excellent grades at school, he is taken to developmental classes in languages, or mathematics, or chess; as well as sports sections and compulsory reading at night. But any resource is not limitless, and even the most reliable mechanism will break under constant stress. In the case of children, attentiveness is the first to suffer.
  6. The diametrically opposite situation is when a student fails in his studies because he does not understand why he needs it at all. Parents, and then all adults, have no authority in his eyes. What they are trying to explain to him about the importance of education, he considers insignificant. Much more important for him is communicating with the yard company or playing online shooting games. Here we are not talking about distracted attention, but about a lack of motivation to get an education. As soon as the child realizes that he desperately needs this, he will be transformed before his eyes.

Based on everything that is listed, it becomes clear that the cause of childhood forgetfulness is not always a congenital disease.

Very often, absent-mindedness becomes the result of improper upbringing of a child.

And if so, then there is probably a recipe for how to deal with inattention.

How to help a child become attentive?

Children's success in school and other activities depends largely on their ability to pay attention.

How to help a child become attentive?

When a child becomes a student, new demands are placed on him at different levels, and he has new responsibilities. Some people cope with them easily and simply, but for others it is a complex and sometimes difficult process.

The school, in turn, strives not only to provide a certain amount of knowledge to its students, but also sets a more significant goal - to teach children to learn.

This is not so easy to do, since first of all this goal requires the development in children of all the cognitive processes necessary for learning. This is thinking, memory, imagination, attention.

Numerous observations of teachers and studies by psychologists have convincingly shown that a child who has not learned to study and has not mastered the techniques of mental activity in the primary grades of school usually becomes a failure in the secondary grades.

Very often it turns out that the success of our children in school and other activities largely depends on the development of their ability to be attentive.

How often do we say to our schoolchild: “You are inattentive!” when the child makes ridiculous mistakes and cannot find them.

Often, due to lack of attention, it is difficult for a child to study at school. It is as if the little student does not hear or see what he must learn and remember. In high school it becomes more difficult for him, because... the information that comes in and needs to be memorized is abundant and varied.

Attention is not a quality given once and for all. Attention can and should be developed! Of course, at school there are tasks for attention in almost all lessons. But it should be noted that no matter how hard teachers try to use these tasks in their teaching activities, they can only maintain the level of attention development that students have at this stage. There are certain reasons for this: firstly, the volume of educational material is quite large; secondly, there must be a certain system of tasks and work, as a rule, must be individual, which is difficult to do in the classroom.

However, the student needs to be helped to learn how to manage his attention. It is still difficult for the youngest schoolchild to do this. And the child’s main assistant can be his parents.

There is something to work on. This was shown by the results of a survey conducted among 2nd grade students.

To the question “Are you often distracted while doing homework?” only 31% of students responded that they were not distracted. Various reasons were given for what could cause distraction. Most often, the parents themselves are the ones who distract (your children think so!). Other relatives are no less distracting, among whom younger brothers and sisters were most often named. Pets can also be a distraction; less frequently cited reasons were telephone, TV (loud sound).

There was another question: “Do you consider yourself attentive?” Of all, students answered “no” - 53%, “yes” - only 19%.

There was also other interesting information that proves that parents do not attach much importance to the development of attention.

For example, according to children’s responses, 79% of parents help with homework at home, 27% of them help and suggest, check work, sometimes explain incomprehensible things - 31%, 41% scold for bad marks, get upset and find out the reason for the bad mark - 8%, do not do any extra work and do not play with their children - 66%.

To help a child, we must know what to do and how.

What is attention? Attention is a person’s ability to focus on certain objects and phenomena. We are simultaneously influenced by a large number of sources of information from the surrounding world. It is impossible to absorb all the incoming information, and it is not necessary. But it is absolutely necessary to isolate from it what is useful, significant at the moment, and important for making the right decisions. This function of mental activity is performed by attention.

When a teacher talks about lack of attention at all, this is very general. Attention has such basic properties as concentration, volume, stability, distribution and switching. And a child may have well developed one of the named properties of attention and completely lack another, which is precisely what requires correction.

Therefore, before starting classes on developing attention, you need to know which properties are poorly developed in your child, because each property is very important for successful educational activities.

Concentration - the ability to focus on the desired object, its parts, the ability to understand the task. A child with good concentration is characterized by good observation and organization. And vice versa, someone who has not developed this property is absent-minded and uncollected.

Attention span is the number of objects simultaneously perceived and retained in consciousness. For 7-year-old children, the number of such objects ranges from 3 to 5. With a good amount of attention, it is easier for a child to perform operations of comparison, analysis, generalization, and classification. The ability to perform these operations indicates the development of logical thinking.

Sustainability of attention is the ability to focus on the same object for a long time. A child with stable attention can work for a long time without being distracted; he likes long, hard work (interest in tasks of increased difficulty).

Distribution of attention is simultaneous attention to two or more objects while simultaneously performing actions with them. The characteristics of the distribution of attention are judged by whether it is easy or difficult for the child to do several things at the same time: do work and observe the environment (whether additional explanations and cursory comments from the teacher are easily perceived).

Switching attention is the movement of attention from one object to another or from one activity to another in connection with the setting of a new task.

Individual characteristics of switching attention can be judged by how quickly a child moves from one activity to another, whether he easily starts a new task, whether he can quickly finish any activity or whether he constantly returns to it in his thoughts and actions (they continue to decide when everything finished; everyone is counting orally, and some are trying to write down at this time what they did not have time to do before).

When you study your child’s attention and determine which property is the least developed, you can begin classes.

Effective means of developing attention include games and play exercises that can be included in any, even very serious, activity.

How to help a child become attentive?

Examples of games and game exercises

  1. “Who is attentive?” Read the text. Children must understand the meaning and count the number of words with the sound [M], for example.
  2. “How much of what?” Children need to look around the room and name as many objects as possible in it, selecting according to any characteristics: color, shape, material from which the objects are made, so that there is a certain letter in their name.
  3. “Repeat quickly.” The child can repeat words after you only when you say the word “repeat” (the dialogue is fast). You can use words: say, pronounce, etc.
  4. "Build in the dark." On the table are cubes and matchboxes or other objects (parts from a construction set, cubes of different sizes). A blindfolded child must quickly build with one hand a column with a base of one cube (a competitive moment is possible).
  5. “I won’t get lost.” Count up to 30. Certain numbers (containing the number 3, divisible by 3) cannot be named. Instead of them - any movement or word (jump, say “I won’t get lost”).
  6. Throw the ball while naming nouns. The child, receiving the ball, names a verb that has a suitable meaning and says his noun, etc.
  7. Games of checkers and chess. It’s not for nothing that these games are called the school of attention. We need to calculate the moves in advance and draw conclusions.
  8. Game of mixed up actions. If I raise my arms up, the children raise them to the sides, if I sit down, the children jump, etc. We must not forget that tasks for the development of attention are often found in various children's magazines and other publications. These are familiar labyrinths, drawings with mixed up lines, finding differences in pictures, crossing out certain letters in the text (after three), solving various puzzles, etc. This is how concentration is developed.
  9. The teacher or parent suggests solving several arithmetic examples orally. For example, given 2 numbers - 84 and 26. The first digit of the second number must be multiplied by the second digit of the first, the second digit of the second number must be added to the resulting product and the first digit of the first number must be subtracted from this sum (2 × 4 + 6 -8 = 6) (sustainability of attention).
  10. It is proposed to hold the perception of the picture (a truncated pyramid approaching us - going inside; profile - a vase), only in one position for a certain time. When changing, put a line on paper (span of attention).
  11. Look at the objects for 1 second and then name: how many and what objects are shown? what numbers are shown? Which figure is this or that number inscribed in? (distribution of attention).
  12. Simultaneously solve simple mathematical examples and listen to proverbs. Then name the answers and repeat what kind of proverbs were named.
      Write numbers from 1 to 20, and call them in reverse order.
  13. Using a table with letters and numbers, first name the numbers in order, then the letters in alphabetical order, then alternating between letters and numbers (switching).
  14. On the piece of paper, the numbers from 1 to 20 are scattered, you need to indicate and name them in order as quickly as possible.

Advertising

Help your children become attentive. Buy and read books that contain exercises and games that help develop attention.

Play with your children. This makes it possible to better understand the child, get to know him better, find the right approach, and win him over.

Don't forget about sports games, thanks to which you can develop not only strength and agility, but also attention.

Teach children to be observant - able to notice changes occurring in the world around them (something was rearranged at home, a tree branch broke, a flower that was still there yesterday was picked, etc.) All this will contribute to the enrichment and development of the individual.

What not to do

Realizing and accepting your own mistakes is very difficult. Especially for an adult when it comes to relationships with a child. It’s much easier to say: “He’s such a slob himself, there’s nothing you can do here!” Yes, shifting the blame onto the baby is the simplest, but not the wisest solution.

It depends only on the parents how their child will grow up. You need to instill the right values ​​in your child from an early age, because then it will become almost impossible to get at least some truth into the head of a teenager who doubts everything.

Lectures will not help a child become more attentive

The most common mistake in raising children is categorical prohibitions. It’s easy to prohibit; it’s more difficult to explain why you can’t do this. But you still need to tell how to do it right and why it’s right.

The ban lasts as long as the controller is looking. And if you explain to your child the reasons and consequences of his actions, he will begin to think independently every time before committing an action.

The reverse version of a simple ban is a long and tedious lecture to the guilty child about the basics of morality and morality. At this moment, the parent-“lecturer” feels at his best: he also pays attention to the younger generation. But how is this perceived by a baby who has recently gotten out of the potty? But no way!

A lecture as a punishment is meaningless, because the child will meet it with hostility.

Then, the ability to assimilate information in adults and children is different and depends on language development: a child will not understand half of it. This is often forgotten, or even not known at all, by those who try to “read morals” to small children.

Another thing is the time during which the child’s brain is able to concentrate. A first grader has scattered attention, and this is normal for his age.

With the development of intelligence, he will learn to consciously manage concentration, maintaining it on a certain topic for a longer time.

Therefore, moral teaching will be effective only if two conditions are met:

  1. The listener's willingness to accept information favorably.
  2. Briefness of the lecture (what is not allowed, why, how to fix it, what are the benefits).

The main mistakes of parents

Now let’s briefly touch on other mistakes that parents make when trying to correct their child’s absent-mindedness.

mistakes parents make in raising an inattentive child

What not to do:

  • you cannot scold for inattention;
  • ridicule is an insult to a child, especially in public;
  • you cannot compare your child and a “good” child - this is how you claim that yours is bad;
  • doing independently what a child can do - this provokes his lack of diligence and immaturity;
  • force the child to redo the work many times (to remember).

Blaming a small child for your own mistakes in upbringing is dishonest. Dear parents, try to accept that the child’s absent-mindedness, if it is not caused by illness, is your failure.

Only by working together will you improve the situation, but you need to treat each other with respect.

Don't make it worse

How to teach a child to be neat and tidy, and not turn the baby into a neat freak

Let's start with the fact that trying to instill neatness in a child under two years old is completely pointless.

Remember how babies eat. If a new dish appears in front of them, they try it, examine it, feel it, bite it. This is how they are introduced to new things.

Biting a flower, crushing a blueberry, mashing a strawberry - these are the baby's ways of exploring the world. Don’t interfere, or better yet, help your son/daughter in this exciting activity. You are at home, or on the street, visiting - it doesn’t matter at all. Just have wet wipes with you.

Take it easy for a couple of years. Do not associate such actions with sloppiness and untidiness. They have nothing in common with each other. Just realize that this is how your child learns to experience life.

If you punish your child for such things, then be sure to read the article “Is it possible to scold a child.”

Remember that all your actions influence the formation of child behavior patterns.

Too much emphasis on cleanliness and neatness can, on the contrary, make a person dirty and slobby. But we'll talk about this later. Let's understand what you can do at the very beginning.

What will help a child become more attentive?

If you notice excessive mobility, excitability, coupled with a lack of concentration in your baby, then take him to a neurologist. Maybe the reason for the absent-mindedness lies in ADHD.

Your attention to his life will make the baby more self-confident.

Praise him for his successes, participate in doing his homework (don’t do it for him, but guide his train of thought). Teach your student to double-check their work. The presence of a parent mobilizes the child's concentration.

Create a comfortable atmosphere at home. While doing homework, close the door to your baby's room or turn down the TV volume. Also, set a time limit for homework to make sitting at your desk productive.

Motivate your child a little every day. Stories about your successes at work related to the fact that you studied well are suitable; praise for successes, extra minutes of computer use, or money for books read.

Remove excess load, if any. Chronic fatigue syndrome is not the best companion for a small child.

chess develops attentiveness

Also suitable are educational games that train memory:

  • chess is the alpha and omega of good memorization;
  • anagrams - make short words from one long one;
  • funny poems or favorite songs to remember - excellent brain training;
  • computer pictures like “Find the cat”.

And we were “lucky”...

The commander-in-chief of our junior group (let's call her Larisa Bendirovna) immediately seemed to me to be exactly the person who could find an approach to such an “inconvenient child” like mine. Strict, demanding, able to choose words. But, alas...

Due to her obstinate character, emotionality and inability to obey unquestioningly, Masha immediately ended up on the list of “unloved people”.


Photo source: pixabay.com

My child was “different”, not as flexible as everyone else, always running, jumping, arguing (proving his point), interested in everyone and everything, demanding attention.

Such “inconvenient children” are an eyesore for any kindergarten. But not everyone can be the same!

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