The patient's behavior changes dramatically, becoming quite demonstrative - the patient begins to manipulate others, trying to attract as much attention as possible to his own person. In addition, all patients with hysterical neurosis suffer from excessive suggestibility.
Symptoms
The external manifestations of the disease are quite obvious and familiar to many parents: the baby becomes excessively capricious, constantly throws tantrums and falls on the floor. It is necessary to distinguish neurosis from the character traits and pedagogical neglect of the child. Quite often, the reasons for such behavior in a child are sharp restrictions on his actions on the part of his parents - up to a certain point, the child was allowed “everything” and suddenly - restrictions, and inconsistent ones at that. Of course, the baby is not able to understand the logic of adults and his hysterics mean a protest against prohibitions.
Attention! The main difference between hysterical neurosis as a disease is that the baby does not want to be like this, his hysterics occur involuntarily, he himself suffers from them, but cannot do anything.
If a baby suffers from hysterical neurosis, then parents quite often notice such signs as:
- sleep disturbances (insomnia);
- frequent headaches and even attacks of rapid heartbeat;
- the baby often complains of nausea and abdominal pain;
- he often has no appetite.
In addition, hysterical neurosis is quite well diagnosed “from the outside” - a sick child is prone to constant hysterics (in any incomprehensible or unpleasant situation, he falls to the floor and kicks) and “empty” whims.
Unfortunately, parents almost always explain this behavior of their child by uncontrollability, character traits, aggressiveness and quarrelsomeness, but not by a manifestation of the disease, and very rarely turn to a specialist. And the corresponding diagnosis made by a doctor when visiting a medical institution is often completely denied. As the pathological process progresses, the child develops various phobias and depressive states; in some cases, the child seems to “lose” his own “I,” which manifests itself in his desire to retire and abstract himself from the world around him. In addition, the child develops a state of “parallelism”, which contributes to the formation of several thoughts at the same time.
The child often attributes to himself different pictures of other people’s nervous states and persistently demands more attention from all the people around him. If the baby does not get what he wants, his behavior becomes more persistent, with the addition of new symptoms and manifestations. It is necessary to remember that everything that happens to a child is not a momentary whim or a figment of his imagination, but a manifestation of a disease, therefore the child’s behavior is absolutely not an intentional situation.
Important! Similar symptoms are characteristic of a disease such as schizophrenia, therefore, contacting a specialist as early as possible and diagnosing the pathology is a guarantee of a complete cure for hysterical neurosis.
What is the right thing to do when you yell at a child?
Observe the following rules:
- Calm down
You know the universal safety rule in parenting: provide an oxygen mask first for yourself, then for your child. If you are still angry, unable to adequately assess the situation, and understand that you will continue to lash out, move away from the child to a safe distance and take care of yourself. You can't try to sort things out while still yelling. Proceed with the remaining points only when you realize that the Hulk is leaving.
- Think about how the child saw the situation
Empathy is the main tool in the hands of a good parent. Pump it up every time you find yourself in a difficult situation with a child. For example, when you yelled at him and already came to your senses. Just go back and calmly look at how what happened looked in the child’s eyes: most likely, you will remember his frightened look and understand how bad he felt at that moment. Remember that you must be absolutely calm, because to some extent the assessment of what happened will cause your anger to be somewhat reactivated.
- Repair the damage
Approach your child and invite him to talk calmly. Apologize to him and tell him how upset you are that this happened. You're not proud of yourself, are you? Some children are not ready to discuss the conflict in detail, but open up to their parents through play; this is normal. If the child's age allows, ask if he is ready to accept your apology and if there is anything you can do for him. Remember that your task is not to pay off and force the child to pretend that nothing happened, but to restore the disrupted course of things without trying to deny what happened.
- Connect with your child
During your meltdown, your child may have felt not only threatened and aggressive by you, but also fearful that your relationship was damaged. Of course, he cannot express this in any way, but his experiences are alive and real, even if he does not say anything. It is important for him to know that your relationship has not undergone irreversible changes, you still love him and no anger can separate you.
If you feel that you cannot cope on your own, seek help from a specialist.
Reasons for development
Medical scientists have established that hysterical neurosis in children is a fairly common condition that can occur in an absolutely healthy child with an extremely stable psyche. In addition, the disease has many varieties, but doctors’ assertion that ID in children is highly treatable and can be prevented at a very early stage of development is a reassuring factor.
Children most often suffer from their own tantrums.
According to psychiatrists, the most common cause of hysterical neurosis in children is errors in upbringing on the part of adults. Moreover, the main factors are both excessive attention to the baby and the almost complete absence of it.
Suppression of a child’s will or increased attention to even minor achievements in life affect the formation of the child’s psychological state and equally provoke the development of neurosis. Often the only correct measure to prevent such a situation is to create a fairly calm and adequate environment around the baby, a properly selected daily routine and diet, and positive emotions.
Why is everything so complicated and why is it necessary?
Let's go back to the beginning: all this is necessary because children are people too. They don't like being yelled at, just like adults. It's just as humiliating as it was for you as a child (and still is today). Shouting will not make you more authoritative in the eyes of children, will not make them respect you (but only be afraid), will not help them listen more carefully to your words (when a child is shouted at, the likelihood that information reaches him better and faster tends to zero).
The ability to interact with children without yelling as part of the educational paradigm will help us raise more psychologically healthy and resilient people, capable of analyzing their feelings, empathy and the ability to take care of mental health (which is nothing to be ashamed of). Children should not “sniff gunpowder” and “prepare for the worst”; they should know that it is normal to experience any feelings, including anger. That in most cases they can be explained by something and not pretend that they did not exist or that they existed, but they are allowed only to certain categories of people.
Yes, all this is not so simple in a world where the “boys don’t cry” attitude is still strong, but now we are adults here, which means we are responsible for how our children will grow up and whether they will be just as emotionally immature, like previous generations, and whether we want it to be that way.
Treatment
The main procedures for both therapeutic and preventive treatment for the appearance of hysterical neuroses in children are:
- compliance with certain rules of behavior by parents (and adults around the child);
- calm, correct daily routine;
- additional rest;
- long walks in the fresh air;
- active outdoor games;
- limiting the child’s communication with factors that disturb him and negatively affect his mental state;
- calm and attentive attitude of adults to the manifestations of symptoms of a child’s disease.
All this contributes to a fairly rapid change in the negative behavior of the little person.
Memo: Treatment of hysterical neurosis in children
In addition, professional treatment of hysterical neurosis in children is carried out by a psychotherapist who, depending on the degree of development of the pathological process, uses the following techniques:
- special methods of psychotherapy;
- drug exposure to drugs;
- homeopathy.
Attention! Play therapy is becoming a very effective and successful method of treating neurosis.
More often than not, you can’t do without help.
The main task of a doctor in the treatment of neuroses is to determine the cause-and-effect relationship of the appearance of the disorder and its elimination, which becomes the main method of therapy. The key to a child’s complete and successful recovery is a change in his lifestyle and a large number of positive changes and emotions.
If the baby has the first signs of hysteria and neurosis, then treatment should under no circumstances be ignored or postponed - the development of pathology leads to quite serious consequences, up to a complete change in personality. Usually, along with the treatment methods used, doctors advise purchasing a simple aquarium with fish for the child, because watching them significantly calms the baby’s nervous system. In addition, parents are obliged to properly organize their daily routine, including active walks in the fresh air, outdoor games and attending various events that have a beneficial effect on the child’s development.
Children have the right to yell, tantrum and behave horribly - and here's why
She paused at the slippers in the shape of fluffy butterflies, and at the shelf with doll houses she looked at me with pleading dog eyes. Nevertheless, clearly mustering all her will, she miraculously moved forward without hindrance for another 25 minutes until we reached the ticket office. This is where disaster struck.
I was already looking forward to finally getting out into the fresh air when suddenly my little girl's eyes stared at the giant bag of M&M's that was placed where it was impossible not to see them. Damn them, those sneaky marketers with their strategic placement of candy, soda, unnecessary lip balm and adult magazines.
“Come on, honey,” I said in a sweet voice and a nervous smile. - No sweets today. You don’t love them anyway, do you?”
She looked at me like I was crazy. What kid doesn't love tiny colored pieces of chocolate?
"I love them!" - she howled, then threw herself on the dirty floor and sobbed. The younger one, who had been dozing before, cried and supported her sister in the fight with her parent. I abandoned the cart and leaned over to talk to my daughter, who began kicking her legs furiously as the baby squirmed in search of the breast.
That's when everything happened. A man of about sixty approached me and, pointing his finger in the direction of my daughter, said angrily: “Is there something wrong with her? You must take her away from here! Then he left, leaving me on the floor with my crying daughter and unhappy baby.
I was shocked. Until that moment, I had never thought that there was something wrong with my child. Of course, she can be quarrelsome and stubborn, and yes, I once bought a book about hyperactive children. But it never occurred to me that my child was “wrong.” My girl was simply who she was - an energetic, emotional, active and not always obedient child. And yes, she is only three.
I wanted to grab my children and run away. And also - to catch up with this boor and have a serious conversation with him. How dare he say there is something wrong with my daughter? I agree that she behaved badly, but that doesn't mean there was anything wrong with her, and to be honest, her feelings of frustration and disappointment were understandable.
After all, children experience all adult emotions - often very intensely - and are still just learning to cope with them. Their behavior may be annoying, frustrating, intrusive, disgusting, but this does not mean that there is anything “wrong” with them. They act like little people, with their big feelings and emotions, laughing, squealing and screaming. They make noise, scream and thus indicate their presence.
Children often embarrass us, confuse and frustrate us. They do things we ask them not to do and refuse to do things we desperately ask them to do. This is normal and expected. They explore the world around them and experience strong emotions to the fullest. They are not born with the ability to control their feelings or the knowledge of right and wrong. They act on instinct, not paying attention to others. And this is exactly how they should behave.
7 sensory games that will calm your child and relieve stress
Our job as parents is to patiently and clearly teach them to manage their feelings so that they can behave acceptably. As far as I know, there is nothing "wrong" with a child's expressions, no matter what he does or says. And all attempts to simply harshly demand, force, can have a detrimental effect on the child’s psyche. As a result, they begin to think that they are unworthy of love and their presence is unwanted.
If you think that I condone my children or ignore their questionable behavior, then you are wrong. When my kids act like jerks, I don't pretend not to notice and don't let it go. I ask them to stop, and if they don't succeed, we just leave. I cannot agree with you, Stranger at the Mall, that my child's behavior is unacceptable because I do not believe in publicly telling off children. After all, this is a sure way to undermine their self-esteem. I usually wait until both of us (my baby and I) have calmed down. That's when I point out what was wrong and teach how to do better next time.
There is nothing wrong with feeling disappointed and sad. These are quite adult emotions inherent in all of us. The point is not to stop them because they are “wrong”, but to learn to manage them. And this comes only with time and experience. Children are still learning, and they need our help and empathy, not our frowning faces and finding someone to blame.
There's nothing wrong with being a child.
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