.
When a child goes to kindergarten, he encounters other children and the world around him for the first time. If he has breakdowns at this time, this can lead to stress for both the baby and the parents. If a child throws tantrums after kindergarten, the advice of a psychologist will help to find out the cause of the crying and, if possible, eliminate it.
Causes of hysterical behavior in a child
Kindergarten helps prepare for school. From an early age, children learn to interact with other children, adapt and be part of a group. In kindergarten, important changes in character occur: the formation of personality is influenced by the environment and relationships in the children's team. Here children learn to count, write, and apply logic. Kindergarten is an important stage of growing up, so it is important for parents to prepare their son or daughter for new conditions.
A tantrum helps a child express his dissatisfaction: he cannot give reasons for the reasons for his dissatisfaction, so he expresses it in negative emotions. The less attention the baby receives to the hysteria, the stronger the dissatisfaction. You cannot fight negative emotions by ignoring them. To prevent kindergarten from becoming a cause of stress, parents determine the cause of hysteria.
Before kindergarten or school
If you don’t start dealing with hysteria in front of kindergarten or school in a timely manner, your child will develop a persistent negative reaction that will become a character trait. Problems before kindergarten are observed in sociable and suspicious children, but more often hysterics and a strong fear of change are observed in children:
- sensitive;
- overly attached to parents;
- silent and shy.
Children who are developmentally unsuccessful also experience severe stress before kindergarten. Their hysterics begin already when evening comes: they begin to whine or pretend to be an imaginary illness. This behavior cannot be ignored.
The main reason for kindergarten fear is a sudden change of environment. The baby gets used to home conditions, he is familiar with the neighboring children, and his whole life consists of a series of familiar events. If the situation changes dramatically, he feels understandable discomfort, he feels how his familiar environment is being destroyed.
On a subconscious level, he is afraid of the unknown. If before going to kindergarten the child becomes capricious or depressed, he should not be sent there in this state; the stress will only increase in kindergarten.
Before the new kindergarten
A son or daughter begins to get hysterical if the family moves to a new place: the environment changes again. Young children have a lower degree of adaptation than adults. They do not have time to change their social circle so quickly and adapt to new conditions.
A child becomes hysterical in front of a new kindergarten if:
- the family suddenly moved (changed house, city or country);
- if the new place has a different language of communication or customs;
- if the parents do not explain the nature of the excitement (the baby does not understand what is happening to him).
If an adult can understand the reason for his own excitement, then children perceive fear as a natural reaction. He does not fight it, but accepts it. In childhood, basic concepts can be distorted under the influence of fear.
The new environment seems hostile and dangerous: such an incorrect attitude is established, and in adult life a person cannot adapt to the necessary changes. If you miss the moment when the baby is scared or depressed after moving to a new place, then internal fears will take root and develop into social phobias.
Before separating from parents
Another type of hysteria occurs when the baby is too attached to the family. He is accustomed to the constant presence of his mother or father.
As the familiar environment is destroyed, hysterics begin. The son or daughter feels threatened. Be it events or strangers: they invade the baby’s space and take away his parents (this is how the baby understands what is happening).
Fear of parting with mom is one of the main reasons why hysterics begin before kindergarten. For a child, parting with his mother is tantamount to a real loss: he does not understand when he will be back in a normal environment, and when a safe and familiar environment will return to normal.
If the child does not want to be in kindergarten for this reason, no persuasion will work. On a subconscious level, he no longer trusts his parents: they let him down, allowed bad things to happen.
Reasons for tantrums before kindergarten
Kindergarten is an important stage of preschool development, when a little person enters society and learns to adapt to it without the participation of parents. Here the foundations of behavioral personality psychology are laid. Kindergarten prepares the child for school by developing reading, writing, and logical skills. Coming back to school after kindergarten will not be a big stress, whereas without preparation it is much more difficult.
Statistics show that most preschool children are characterized by increased emotionality and aggressive perception during the first year of attending kindergarten.
The first obvious reason for this is that the baby cannot establish relationships with peers and teachers. Psychologists, in principle, do not recommend sending children under 3 years of age to such institutions, since this negatively affects their psyche and mainly brings negative dynamics.
Psychologists advise not to send children under 3 years of age to kindergarten - this harms their psyche
The psychophysiological characteristics characteristic of the development of a child of this age do not allow him to part with his mother for a long time: separation will be traumatic for him. Hysteria is a natural neurotic reaction in this case. Ignoring a child’s hysteria before kindergarten is not the best way to deal with it: the parents’ primary task will be to establish the cause.
When a child spends most of his time in a preschool institution, his perception of family values quickly changes, interaction with parents weakens, and children do not make contact. This is how the first omissions, deceptions, and loss of trust arise.
Particularly sensitive, withdrawn and taciturn children, those who are too attached to their parents, as well as those who are developmentally delayed are most susceptible to negative reactions to a change in environment. Sometimes children begin to be capricious in the evening in anticipation of getting ready for kindergarten in the morning.
Hysterical reactions are provoked by forced separations from family, which the child perceives as betrayal by loved ones. He does not understand when he will “get his mother back” and may even stop trusting his parents. A common case is when a 3-year-old child experiences a crisis of becoming socially established. His sensitivity becomes aggravated, he becomes hysterical - this reaction is its logical manifestation. In specific situations, there are aggravations, and therefore parents should talk with the teacher and find out about the characteristics of the child’s behavior in the team, ask to describe some cases in detail.
The main reason for hysteria is the child’s fear of the unknown when the situation changes abruptly. Until now, his world consisted of a house and a yard, and in a new place with new people he will feel discomfort. Based on such reasons, certain preventive measures and therapeutic techniques are formed.
Adaptation in kindergarten
Adaptation is adaptation, acceptance of the situation. The child's psyche is simpler than that of an adult.
If an adult needs persuasion and arguments, then children feel safe only in certain external conditions:
- when they understand what is happening;
- when they can freely ask questions and get answers;
- when they are warm, they are full and do not live in cramped conditions;
- when the surrounding children behave normally.
If a child refuses to go to kindergarten, it means he is trying to avoid repeating a negative experience. He is traumatized (for reasons unexplained or unknown to his parents).
At its core, refusal to go to kindergarten is a signal that the child is not feeling well in the conditions in which his parents leave him. In such cases, there is no point in looking for an objective reason.
The task of parents is to understand the reasons for the low adaptation of their son or daughter: why they do not want to go to kindergarten, do not want to prepare for kindergarten or meet other children. If he feels bad, persuasion and reproaches will not work.
How to take your child to kindergarten
In psychology there is such a thing as the transfer of negative experiences. Due to his young age, the baby cannot fully understand what is happening: until the age of 6-10, he is a reflection of his parents or loved ones.
The baby fills in all the missing parts of the world around him with the experience of his parents. This is the reason why children ask so many questions as they grow up. Their thinking has developed enough to accept information, but is not yet able to come to all logical conclusions.
A son or daughter shares their worries with their mother, and the mood with which the children go to kindergarten depends only on the parents.
Psychologists advise taking a preschooler to kindergarten along the same route so that he develops social adaptation. While he is next to his mother, you need to focus on the road, explain where they are going and what is nearby.
When placing such emphasis, parents make “notes.” Each time, walking along the same route, the preschooler will feel that he is walking along a familiar road.
It is useful to transform the entire path to the garden into a game form. By distracting in this way, you can prevent hysteria. The child has not yet begun to understand what is happening, so you need to talk through some information on the way to the kindergarten, you can talk about your plans for the day.
Through such information, the baby will know that his parents do not abandon him, but leave him for a while to do necessary things.
Proper preparation for kindergarten
The first trip to the garden with your son or daughter is a planned event. This should not be an unpleasant surprise for children.
They know that they will soon go to a new place where they will meet friends. Parents should discuss this event, emphasizing its significance. Mother and father talk about how everything works in the garden. It is better to emphasize games and fun activities rather than forcing you to sleep through lunch or study.
It is useful for children to hear that their parents also visited kindergartens: you can tell your positive experiences, which the children will try to repeat.
Preparation for the garden occurs gradually - all family members must get used to the changes. It is important to discuss all the details of the baby’s stay in such an institution. Mother and father tell him when they will take him to the garden and when they will pick him up. The emphasis is placed on the fact that on weekends (if possible) children will stay at home and be able to be with their parents. During the entire period of preparation, the preschooler is surrounded by a calm atmosphere.
First day of kindergarten
After the first day, parents can assess the baby’s condition. If he is excited and talks a lot, you need to listen to him. The preschooler will feel that he can share what is happening with his parents. You cannot neglect communication after the first day or harshly criticize the story.
If the baby throws a tantrum after the first day, parents look for the reason. If it is stress from new conditions, at first it is better to leave the baby in the garden until lunch. He will know that kindergarten is a temporary change. Over time, children are transferred to full-day care. Problems with peers are more difficult to solve: you cannot immediately transfer your son or daughter to another place because of them, otherwise the unpleasant situation will repeat in the new place.
You need to listen to the child, find out his version of what is happening: the task of parents is to help children find friends - this will be their protection and support. After each visit to the kindergarten, parents ask about the children with whom their child interacted. The preschooler is explained how important it is to make friends and how to enjoy spending time with them.
Teacher's behavior
If a preschooler does not want to go to kindergarten, the teacher will help him understand what does not suit him. Communication with an older person is a constructive dialogue. You can’t blame other children or teachers for everything.
The parent's task is to understand the reason for the child's bad behavior, and not to look for someone to blame. If he doesn’t want to go to kindergarten because of other children, then only the teacher will help improve relationships within the group.
Preparing to enter kindergarten
If adults struggle with their fears, then children accept them. As a result, their life concepts and values may become distorted and phobias may develop. As an adult, the baby will be afraid of any changes.
Preparing for the first visit to kindergarten several months in advance will help ease the process of adaptation to society. To do this you need:
- Explain to him gradually where and why he will go, with whom he will communicate.
- Don’t let the baby think that his parents want to get rid of him by sending him to kindergarten.
- Give examples of friends and acquaintances who also visit the institution and are very happy with it, focus on games with peers and interesting activities. It will be useful to remember your time in kindergarten and share this with your child.
- Clearly explain the system, confirm that at the end of the day one of the parents will return for him.
- Talking about entering kindergarten as a due procedure does not show any doubts.
- Gradually switch to a regime that coincides with that observed in kindergarten - the change in environment will not be so abrupt.
- Instill in your baby hygiene skills and teach independence.
- Sometimes leave him with other people so that the child gets used to being without you.
- Expand his social circle, make new acquaintances, go to playgrounds - the baby must be able to adapt to society.
Psychologists recommend taking your child for walks more often - this way he can get used to society
Adaptation is adaptation to surrounding circumstances. Since children's psyches are more primitive than adults, they need specific conditions to feel comfortable: they must understand what is happening, get answers to their questions, feel warm and full, and find contact with other children. Low adaptation leads to the fact that the baby feels bad in new conditions.
Following simple recommendations will help prepare your baby for going to kindergarten. The main thing is to introduce changes gradually so as not to traumatize the child. Your influence is very valuable because before the preschool period he sees the world through the prism of his parents. Children accept information rather than logically reach it themselves.
Listen carefully to the story about all the impressions your child experienced on the first day of attending preschool. Don't ignore, show your participation. If you understand that the cause of stress is the new environment, “slow down” the process: at first, pick up your child from kindergarten after lunch. So he realizes that kindergarten is temporary. If the reason is a conflict with a peer, try to smooth it out, do not make the child hostile. Explain that friendliness disarms any aggression.
Recommendations from a psychologist
Most parents do not know what to do if their child constantly cries before reaching kindergarten.
Psychologist's advice:
- it is necessary to constantly talk with children, even if their problems seem insignificant;
- do not escalate the situation - you cannot focus on going to kindergarten as a special procedure;
- if a baby cries, you cannot ignore him - he may start a tantrum out of spite in order to punish his parents;
- You cannot make hasty conclusions and voice them - the competence of educators is not discussed in front of children and their authority is not questioned;
- You cannot reprimand every time your child does not want to go to kindergarten - parents must make the transition for their children comfortable and calm.
The psychologist's advice is aimed at properly preparing the baby. He attends kindergarten not only for the convenience of his parents, but also for his own development. If the baby is crying, he needs help.
