12 12862 July 4, 2015 at 11:43 pm Author of the publication: Diana Gadlevskaya, anesthesiologist
This question was asked at one of the first level lectures. And the problem is not uncommon. We rationalize what happens to us, we pull it up by the ears, we explain it to ourselves in a way that is easier for us. And it hurts less.
But systematically it’s quite easy to understand that only the sound guy talks about himself like that. And never an olfactory person. It is also very clear that when a person talks about himself, he lies, but when a person talks about others, it is the pure truth... about himself.
It's us sound people who hate everyone. We distance ourselves from people, not them. WE hate them, but we rationalize that it's THEM.
The way we experience life, how we perceive others, how we understand the world - all this is who we are. The most accurate manifestation of the real us. Our psychological profile, inner world, manifestations of innate vectors.
We also derive the belief that “everyone around me hates me” from our own internal feelings. This is a kind of projection from the inner world to the outside world. Transferring one’s own experiences to other people, assessing others “through oneself.”
Confusion
Hatred is a very strong and very energy-intensive feeling. You eventually get tired of it. Hatred requires dedication, similar to obsession with the object of hatred. And this is a completely unacceptable waste of vitality. That is, either you are hated for a short time when you do something very specific, or it is not hatred, but something else. For example, contempt. The same “scapegoat” in the team (children at school often sin with this, asserting themselves at the expense of others) does not cause hatred. They simply despise him and take it out on him. Of course, there are people who irritate many people. But hatred is too strong and personalized. And, of course, a particular person may really hate you. But, as a rule, after you have done something unpleasant to him. Perhaps not even consciously.
Let's face it, only part of society hates the rulers who killed millions of people, while the other is ready to applaud them. In other words, any person and any of his actions are ambiguous. And they can, at the same time, cause both hatred and contempt and admiration. Therefore, generalizations about global hatred seem exaggerated.
How are our borders formed and how do they work?
Tips for dealing with the problem
What to do if they hate you is an incredibly difficult question. Psychologists are developing a lot of programs with the help of which a person can become the favorite of any team. Before starting to implement this or that program, it is worth using the simplest method to combat universal hatred. This method is called “looking from the outside.”
All you need to do is make an appointment with the person who has always been rude and hateful. In a restrained tone, it is worth asking him what the mistakes of behavior are, whether it is possible to find the reasons for universal hatred. If such a problem arose at work, you can get the opinion of several team members. If there is a specific reason for universal hatred, they will definitely name it. This could be a lie in which a person was caught, arrogant behavior, and so on. If team members do not name one specific problem and speak in general terms, then their hatred may consist of elementary envy. Nothing can be done here. They usually envy the best, those who succeed in all spheres of life. If the reason for universal hatred lies precisely in envy, then we need to rejoice!
What to do if you are hated at school or university? If the dislike of peers concerns only the curriculum, then the reason for the hatred may again be envy. Most often, those students who are hated are the ones who always do well in their studies and are the favorites of the teachers. Of course, they often don’t like those students who often jump out of their seats and become clever. Here it is important to begin to control yourself and answer only when a person is completely confident in the answer.
Quite often, school or student groups do not like students who put themselves above others, try to be responsible for everyone, and so on. You need to restrain yourself in such situations, be guided by the principle that all students are in equal positions and should have equal chances of answering. Here it is also better to talk with the entire team and find out their opinion about the current problem. If you approach a problem situation rationally, you can overcome all difficulties and become the soul of the team.
What to do if they hate you but don’t say anything to your face. Very often in a team they are embarrassed to say in person about their unfriendly attitude. However, this is felt in behavior, in spreading rumors behind one’s back, and so on. Of course, it can be very difficult to tolerate such behavior, and it is better for a person to immediately deal with the problem. Perhaps he once accidentally uttered an unflattering phrase or somehow joked incorrectly, and now, because of this, everyone is prejudiced against him. Having dealt with the situation, you will be able to correctly and correctly resolve it in your favor. Perhaps there was a misunderstanding among the team members, which gave rise to hatred.
Sometimes a person feels hatred and prejudice from a group of friends. Perhaps they suddenly begin to communicate with a narrow circle of acquaintances, without inviting the person to general parties and events. The company may also start spreading unflattering rumors, which will only prove their hatred. In this situation, you should think not about how to regain the company's favor, but rather about whether such people are needed by the person. When people, after a few moments of friendship, begin to hate you, this indicates their low personal qualities. Despite all the mistakes in life, friends should understand and support each other. This is the same reliable, vital rear that should not fail in any circumstances. If friends suddenly begin to hate someone, it means that the person does not need such friends. It is better to find a company where a person will always be supported and understood.
Sometimes general condemnation is caused by mistakes in your personal life. For example, if a girl starts cheating on her boyfriend and his friends find out about it, she may face universal condemnation. The girl must either come to terms with this state of affairs and not pay attention to it, or try to explain herself. Sometimes it is very difficult to cope with temptation and give up cheating. If it was a momentary mistake, then friends must understand and forgive each other. If the previous relationship did not suit the person much, then this could become an objective reason for betrayal. Having explained things to acquaintances and friends, a person will resolve the problem in his favor and show his own adult attitude towards life.
When everyone around you hates you, it seems that finding a job or organizing your personal life is simply impossible. Often, universal hatred is only a product of a person’s low self-esteem. Due to life problems or a bad childhood, a person believes that he is not worthy of a better attitude towards himself. Moreover, he thinks that everyone around him condemns him, considers him a worthless worker and an uninteresting interlocutor. As a result, self-esteem slides even lower, and all the people around seem to specifically treat the person with skepticism and deliberate hatred.
Of course, these are just stupid prejudices. They can't just hate everyone around them. Most likely, a person screws himself up because of unnecessary complexes and far-fetched shortcomings. To cope with such a specific attitude, you need to consult a psychologist. He will tell you how to overcome the problem and regain love for yourself. When a person loves himself, and people around him begin to treat him better. In such a person you feel confidence and good spirits, he is independent and free, you want to communicate with him. A psychologist will definitely suggest ways to combat low self-esteem. There are many options here, from self-impact on self-esteem to professional intervention.
Sometimes a person thinks that any mistake he makes becomes a reason for hatred from others, although no one even pays attention to it. This is also a product of low self-esteem, which should be addressed immediately. If a person is so insecure, he will never be happy in the future. That is why, for the sake of your own happiness and well-being, you need to start an active fight against your own complexes and cockroaches now.
Quite often people are tortured by hatred and basic indifference. By the way, living with indifference is much more difficult, because it seems that a person is unworthy of any reaction, whether positive or negative. It is important here to draw boundaries and boundaries between hatred and indifference. If everyone around is indifferent to a person, then this is even more difficult, because people, most likely, do not experience absolutely any emotions. If a person does not evoke any emotions in those around him, then he is boring, uninteresting, passive. It is almost impossible to cope with such a reaction from others. It is much easier to fight hatred, even in its most extreme situations. That is why there is no need to despair at manifestations of universal hatred. There are a huge number of ways to combat general dislike. A person can qualitatively solve all the problems associated with hatred in a team and become the soul of the company. He just needs to make a little effort and regain public trust and love.
Why do I need it?
It can be assumed that it is solidarity hatred towards someone that is unlikely to occur at all, or is found orders of magnitude less often than people report hatred towards themselves. Perhaps the right question is, “Why do I need to assume that everyone hates me?” or “Why do I need to be hated?” And there really are serious reasons for this.
Dismissal: how to leave calmly and live with dignity
Note. We rarely ask, “Why am I despised?” or “Why do I annoy everyone?” No, the question is about hatred. So, most often the meaning of “hate” is that hatred is honorable. Contempt is pathetic, irritation is petty, and hatred is in some ways even honorable. A person who is hated, who evokes such strong feelings, is not just someone, but Worthy of Hate.
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First impression: what does it depend on?
Let's create a few scenarios in which we find it useful when “everyone hates” us:
To not change
If we believe that everyone hates us, this automatically shifts responsibility to other people. And we have nothing to do with it. That is, this is who they are. And it's not about us at all. And, since it’s not about us, then we have nothing left to do but wonder why those around me hate me. And we will not make any changes.
To get sympathy
dinokfwong / Pixabay
When you are hated, you can use this to gain attention and sympathy from others (those who do not hate you). As a rule, such a confession is followed by an immediate reaction from a caring person like “Well, what are you saying, I don’t hate you, but, on the contrary...”
Provocateurs of excess weight
To increase your importance
Being hated is one of the ways for some people to get confirmation that they are something. Sometimes this is the only way and, of course, not the most productive for our psyche.
Life and the illusion of life
To not do something
When we believe that others hate us, it can obviously put us in a very dark mood, perhaps even depressed. The state of sadness and depression is what allows us to objectively not do something, avoid something, not make decisions.
I'll be bad
When we feel like we are hated, we may gradually develop the idea that we are bad. And, at some point, we may decide that since everyone thinks so, we will live in accordance with expectations. Perhaps for some it is better to feel bad than not at all.
How to pump yourself up before a public speaking?
Some types of depression and ways to combat it
In reply
Hatred gives us the right to hate back and experience other unpleasant feelings. This is a kind of indulgence. Since you hate me, then I have no obligations to you and I have the right to do as I want. True, others may not suspect that they hate you, and for them this may become a revelation.
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What can you do
Low self-esteem is not a death sentence, although it will take time to raise it. First of all, we need to firmly understand that the opinions of others do not define us as a person. But if you focus on their attitude, scrolling through their words in your head, you can easily convince yourself that they are right.
Even Jesus Christ, who never made mistakes, loved, treated and fed people, had a lot of ill-wishers.
Another way to boost your self-esteem is to show people kindness, even if they don't really deserve it. Simple acts of kindness—helping an elderly woman carry her bags, giving someone directions—charge you with positivity and help you feel useful.
In addition, recognizing someone's strengths does not mean humiliating yourself, nor does admitting your shortcomings. Everyone has them, that's normal, and that's not a reason to hate each other.
Psychologists unanimously recommend that you beware of ascribing to yourself the status of a victim. To overcome this tendency, you need to try to see the good in every situation and share the good news. Every person has enough bad things in their life. In addition, you need to learn to sincerely sympathize - the fact that a person does not have the biggest problem in the world does not mean that he is not feeling bad. And the ability to be content with what you have is a useful skill that makes life much easier.
I would like all people to be the way they are described in the previous two paragraphs. But, unfortunately, everyone has shortcomings. Each of us would like our own mistakes to be treated leniently. In this sense, it is useful to start with yourself. When people see that their shortcomings are tolerated, they experience gratitude - the opposite of hatred.
Personal, genuine interest is great. But, like all good things, it is useful in limited doses. By interfering in other people's affairs and imposing yourself, you will not become interesting to others. It is necessary to recognize the right of every person to keep some personal information to himself. The interlocutor himself will help you determine which one.
You don't have to make any effort to dislike people. This can easily be done on its own. It’s just that we see in people what we ourselves feel for them. And by experiencing hatred, we harm ourselves first. There is something good in every person, and it is useful to notice it.
There is an interesting exercise. If someone is annoying, you need to sit down and write down 7 positive qualities about them. If it works, it’s easier to look at it differently. If not, then you don’t know this person enough to judge him.
A rich inner world is wonderful. But if this world is really so rich, it will also manifest itself externally. Looking good is not only about loving yourself, but also about showing respect for others. Who enjoys hearing the smell of the garlic cutlets the other person dined on during a conversation? But how nice it is to look at a well-groomed, neat, tastefully dressed girl! Getting to know her inner world is much more interesting.
The hatred a person feels usually comes from him. To cope with it, you need to try to love yourself and those around you.
Lyudmila, Gryazovets
Maybe we're really on to something
Please note that in some cases we actually do something that causes, if not hatred, then serious irritation from others. We may not notice it in some cases, but that doesn't mean it's not there. This could be anything - from continuous advice to eternal complaints about how bad you feel.
So, if you really want to change something, then start by getting feedback about what may irritate you in people. After all, the very idea that everyone hates you is not entirely true - there will always be people who will not refuse to have a heart-to-heart talk with you.
Dismissal: how to leave calmly and live with dignity
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Andrey Petrakov
Hello! This is a blog on psychology, in which significant attention is paid to the topics of psychological violence - abuse, narcissism, relationships, personal crises, taking responsibility for one's life, increasing self-esteem, existential problems. The cost of consulting a psychologist is 3000 rubles/hour, in person (Moscow, Maryina Roshcha metro station), or via Skype About us/Make an appointment
Latest materials: (See all)
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- Video: the fundamental difference between an abuser and a non-abuser? — September 12, 2020
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Content
- Kingdom of Hate
- Hate in educational institutions
- Work environment
- Home Hate
Hello, dear readers! Today I would like to talk about what to do if you are hated. Conflicts at school, college, work or home can lead to serious communication problems. How not to give in to provocations and remain a happy person. What could be the reason for hatred? Why do those around you behave this way?
How to increase self-esteem
This is hard internal work, which involves searching for the reasons for low self-esteem, starting from early childhood, it is necessary to remember all the traumatic moments when you seemed worse than others, when you were ashamed of your failure, when you experienced negative feelings towards yourself, when you I was tormented by a feeling of guilt. Reevaluate these moments from the point of view of an adult and self-confident person, think about whether you were really so bad that you deserve hatred, first of all, from yourself.
Remember those moments when you had a thought regarding why everyone hates me? Did those around you really hate you, or were you just projecting your own attitude towards yourself? Learn to understand yourself, see and adequately evaluate your strengths and forgive your shortcomings, as well as see the strengths and forgive the shortcomings of other people.
Need some advice? Write your story If you are not too lazy to read my story, then I will be very grateful to you, if you are still too lazy, then at least it took your soul away. In general, I am 16 years old and perhaps the thought will immediately arise in your mind: “It’s clear, she’s a girl, which means she has problems of a love nature.” My answer is short and clear: “NO.” My main dilemma, which I have been struggling with since 3rd grade, is “Why does everyone hate me?” I agree, the topic is banal, but still. I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t date crowds of guys (I’m not interested in this, to be honest), I’m a little reserved, overly shy, if someone asks for help, I help, but only those people who don’t offend me. They beat me and laughed at me; what they just don’t come up with now - and that I have a terrible face, or that I’m fat (this is partly true, I’m not a super-beauty with a slender figure, but it’s still very offensive). And the most interesting thing is that I would never join people like them. Girls discuss boys and love, boys discuss sex, and both of them make me sick. Because of the constant mockery, I have developed a lot of complexes that have penetrated their roots deep into my soul and sometimes I can’t cope with spontaneous tears. I never thought that people would bring me so much trouble, pain, nerves, and tears. And the most annoying thing is that there is no one to ask for help, my parents work for my education (I don’t want to pester them), I have no friends and no relatives either. And there is no need to say: “In the future, fate will punish them” or “They will understand their mistakes.” NOOO, these individuals will not understand anything, especially in the future! If you don’t mind spending a few minutes to write some practical advice, relying on the present and not the future, I will be very glad. I’m probably very stupid if I can’t answer this myself, but still. Sorry for the verbosity. It's boiling. Rate:
Disappointed, age: 16 / 09/06/2012
Responses:
I have several versions regarding your question “Why does everyone hate me?” I would just like to clarify who exactly? I understand that we are talking about classmates. So, your classmates treat you poorly because: 1. They envy you. You will probably immediately object: “What is there to be jealous of? I’m not beautiful, I’m shy, etc. and so on." But the fact is that you do not see yourself from the outside and you have low self-esteem. I am sure that there is some feature in your character and appearance that makes them jealous. 2. You are very different from others, do not support the opinion of the majority, do not succumb to their negative influence on yourself, condemn their actions and way of life. They feel it, even if you don't voice your dissatisfaction. That's why they are trying to humiliate you. 3. Fate has prepared trials along your path to strengthen your character, to develop in you traits that will be useful in the future and will lead you to success. Whatever the reason for the bad attitude towards you, I see the solution to the problem in the following steps: 1. Resign yourself and not respond to aggression with aggression. There is no use in resisting, it will only make the situation worse. Try to ignore the ridicule of your messengers and not take it personally. You are a pretty girl and a good person, and all their mockery indicates that your classmates have serious personal problems. One can only sympathize with them. 2. Learn to appreciate those people who treat you well, for example, your parents. Do something nice for them more often. Help mom with housework. 3. Spend more time studying. Find yourself a hobby and look for friends with similar interests, communication with whom will internally enrich you and bring pleasure. 4. Do not want punishment for your offenders. Understand that it won’t make you any easier because fate will punish them, nor will it make you worse because this injustice goes unpunished. Try to focus on thoughts about your future, how to make it happy, how to surround yourself with loving people, how to achieve success in your future profession. Then fate will definitely reward you. Good luck. Don't be discouraged.
Elena, age: 28 / 09/08/2012
Hello, dear girl) I would like to start with the fact that no one has such power to disappoint you in life... I, of course, am not a psychologist and I don’t know how useful my advice will be, but I can’t ignore your story... it seems to me that you attach too much importance to your classmates, they influence your attitude and worldview, or rather your sense of self and perception of yourself, and negatively. You MUST APPRECIATE YOURSELF, you must respect yourself... They are just children who have not yet achieved anything, have not created anything, who simply say stupid things in an attempt to assert themselves by humiliating another person... do you really feel their low, narrow views?)) therefore, if If you respect yourself, you shouldn’t pay attention to their baseness. You must “position” yourself for this; you must value yourself; your classmates are not the people you should listen to in matters concerning you. They are children, moreover, not smart and with an unreasonably large ego... you just can’t imagine how valuable you are, every person is priceless... as for your appearance, I’m sure that you are beautiful)) take care of yourself and it’s in the bag) as soon as you begin to appreciate and people will be drawn to you to respect themselves) my words are not unfounded, I myself had a difficult situation with my classmates, but at least they knew that it was better not to get involved) I wish you happiness, sunshine, and kind, good people on your way)
mademoiselle, age: 20 / 09/08/2012
Hello! You say that absolutely everyone offends and hates you, but it’s not clear how wide your circle of friends is... Are these classmates who live in the same area with you and are their henchmen?! It looks like they found themselves a punching bag. Oh, then you’ll have to endure until the end of school, but it won’t hurt to start making plans for the future... It’s not clear what options you have to solve such a problem - there are a lot of options. I was once given some amazing advice: SURROUND YOURSELF WITH PEOPLE WITH A SIMILAR MIND! If they offend you because of your appearance, wipe their noses and take care of yourself, just the right way. Take your vitamins, exercise (you can do it at home), read literature, how to use cosmetics correctly... in general, prepare yourself so as not to look stupid and not to overdo it. It’s a pity, but in our country we judge how successful a person is by his appearance (although I’m sure that you have real natural beauty)... Don’t reject such methods right away, start first, then you might like it yourself. You don’t have to go to exhibitions and bars to find good friends. To begin with, just communicate on the Internet, since you are shy, then you yourself will understand what you need. In the end, you will be able to find people with whom you will enjoy communicating and who will be able to stand up for you, if you look different and like yourself, self-confidence will appear... and don’t think that such changes take a lot of time - you won’t have time to look back;) And such “offenders” need justice. You need someone who will stand up for you! There is never any shame in asking for help. But never dare to doubt yourself! Bottom line: find friends with a similar mindset!
LolStap, age: 24 / 09/08/2012
Listen, as I understand you, I experienced this myself. Unfortunately, I can’t give any advice for the present, but in the future this will all pass, I speak from my own experience... Try changing schools, it helped me. The main thing is that the school must be in a prosperous area. You just have to survive this test... Good luck!
Name, age: 21 / 09.09.2012
INDIVIDUALS - as I understand it, you are talking about parents, but sorry, this is not correct. Otherwise, the world looks at you through your eyes. Everything is within us: love and hatred and self-acceptance and self-deprecation. At the age of 16, it’s normal to think about something other than sex and love, otherwise help your parents around the house, get a part-time job so that your parents don’t kill themselves at work for the sake of your education, and write a word of gratitude on a piece of paper and think about it. I read one expression, I really liked it, I applied it to myself, and realized that everything was fine with me - “...Ingratitude is born where a person is given more than he can absorb.”
Olga, age: 51 / 09/10/2012
You're not stupid, you're not like them. Most likely, they are not harassing you PERSONALLY, but you as a person not from their crowd. If it’s not you, someone else will be in this place. Moreover, each of them could be in your place in other circumstances. Adults also behave this way, only in a more sophisticated way) I had a similar problem, communication with those who treated me well helped me. Find something for which you can respect yourself and develop it in yourself. And also, if you think that everyone hates you, sit down and write by name who. And who simply does not go against the majority in order to save his own skin, and by and large he doesn’t care, but who rather treats you well, etc. You'll see, the list of “haters” in real life will be reduced to a few people (aggressive and not smart).
Evgenia, age: 29 / 09/12/2012
There is some good advice here. Change school and start over there. I myself was bullied by my classmates, but I was lucky. We moved and I went to another school, where I had a chance to start over.
Mira, age: 27/10/15/2012
don’t be upset))) everything will be fine))) they hate me too, but to be honest I don’t care, they also come up with nicknames for me, and one boy says that you are too thin and not beautiful) but I don’t care at all!!! I’m 12 soon to be 13 I’m in the 8th grade))) my classmates also say nasty things to me) but I don’t care) I don’t listen to them at all))) in fact (I’m beautiful and not fat and not too thin)
)))))), age: 12 / 10/27/2012
Hello! I, too, have had problems all my life, just like you. also in kindergarten, and at school, and already at work, there were always people who treated me badly. I've been an outcast all my life. although I always try not to offend anyone, I am not biased, I always treat people kindly, for which they often respond with evil. advice - forget about them. those who are angry with you, it means they are simply limited in some way. nobody is perfect. no one is better or worse than us. leaving one place does not solve the problem, because... they are everywhere. advice - find something you like, value yourself, never humiliate yourself, go in for sports, improve your body, find your style while you still have time, because you still have to get married :-) if they offend you, ignore them :-) I’m also into boxing, I it doesn't interfere at all. I was also overweight, but in three years of fitness I lost 20kg! I've achieved perfect shape and I'm happy. now I have a husband and a little son :-) and it’s also an unrealistic thrill to buy any beautiful thing, without worrying whether you’ll fit into it or not :-) and never force yourself on guys, be a little less of an easy prey, and you’ll find your happiness :-) if running after them is a disaster. I've tested everything myself, believe me. good luck to you, believe in yourself, love yourself, appreciate yourself, pamper yourself, improve yourself. it's time to act! your fate depends only on you! Find the strength within yourself to change everything! everything will work out!!
Tygra, age: 28/12/25/2012
There is no need to pay attention to them. are they beating? Beat them yourself and be strong.
Albina, age: 20 / 03/10/2013
dear girl, you need to solve your problems as they arise. first of all, nowadays appearance rules - don’t spare the money - go to a stylist, definitely a hairdresser, ask them to give you a stylish hairstyle, dye your hair in a color that suits you, with the stylist, choose the styles of clothes that suit you, for this you don’t need to buy it in expensive boutiques, you’ll just have an idea of what you should wear and what you shouldn’t, and don’t waste money on a couple of makeup lessons. You can ask directly in the salon from the makeup artist. They will teach you how to apply makeup correctly and select the right makeup for you. Yes, it will cost money, but there’s no way without it. besides, it is quite affordable and if you scour the Internet, you can find many stylists, makeup artists, etc. at reasonable prices. sports and diet are a must. There is no need to spend money on the gym - you fell on the floor and pumped up your abs, wave your legs, have a salad instead of dinner and don’t eat after 5. that's the whole formula for your success. There are no ways like “don’t listen”, “don’t pay attention to those who offend you” - you will either be at this celebration of your life, or you will be a black sheep that everyone will peck at. We are greeted by clothes. well, they guide you according to your mind, so no one has canceled your studies and a good university - try to enroll in a good university, this will only complement your image of a successful person. do you need friends? start on the net, in clubs with similar interests... do something... well, at least photography, or anything else and find friends on the net with similar interests. join a fan club of some group, they sometimes get together and communicate. believe in yourself and change!
Maha, age: 28/03/26/2013
I, too, was always offended and boycotted and I didn’t know how to deal with it, one day I managed to pull myself together: I laughed in the face of the offender and suddenly saw that this puzzled her, this didn’t stop the hatred, but I became more confident, the fear went away , but the understanding of why this happens came when I turned 50 years old.
Lena, age: 62 / 04/12/2013
author, they hate you precisely because you are different from them, you are better than them. Your classmates are trying to get you emotional and “break”, this is obvious. In this case, you can try to find intercessors (one is enough), or go to a psychologist for consultations, or find some business (hobby) that would help you be more persistent and stick to your position. I hope everything will work out for you.
light, age: 14/26.06.2013
I understand you perfectly, I also had to face this horror. Every single day I came to school, and every time I wondered why they hated me, yes, I’m overweight, not Miss Universe, but how can people whose topics of conversation are limited only to intercourse and complaints about unfair teachers condemn me. Believe me, these australopithecus will never reach your level, and your task is to realize yourself in life and achieve success in your studies.
Karinochka, age: 17/18/12/2013
I know what you mean…
Leo, age: 15/03/14/2014
My good girl, be sure to tell your mom or dad about your trouble, they gave you life and their heart will tell you a way out. They may be the only people on earth so far who love you and will always love you, trust them. Think how much grief you will cause them with your silence (or mistrust?), because it is possible to get sick due to nervousness, God forbid. Read the “Our Father” prayer whenever you can, go to church, maybe you need to cry, dear? It may not be for long, but it will get easier. Why didn't you write your name? I will pray for you, try to get out of the vicious circle, break out. Just start thinking about some way out, and you will see that little by little the situation will begin to change for the better. I love you, I wish you good luck. I believe everything will change.
Oksana, age: 45 / 03/31/2014
Your problems are because you don't like people. Wish everyone happiness. Every day. Sincerely.
Alexander, age: 35 / 04/04/2014
It's the same with me. They hated me as a child, and now I’m at university. They either avoid communicating with me or they need me to help. I've already given up on all this. The main thing is your future family and you, perhaps a few close friends too. And the rest of the people were strangers, and will remain so. You can't even remember their faces.
Olga, age: 23/05/29/2014
I have the same problem now. You can’t go out into the street, you can’t go into school, they call you names everywhere. I’m just as shy, overweight, in short, I’m not a fountain. I have so many complexes that I almost want to cry. If you think that they are smarter than you, you are mistaken. If you are fat, then you do not have the right to live on Earth, OF COURSE YOU HAVE! If they are thin as sticks (skin and bones) call them matches, anorexics... But calling them names will make you the same as them. Try to accept them as they are, these people are weak, what will happen if they are called offensive names to the point of tears. Or take everything as a joke, they they call you names, and you laugh at yourself and they will leave you behind; they will not be interested in calling you names or don’t pay attention. Find new friends, sign up for classes that you would like to participate in, go in for sports if you don’t want there to be no trace of your fatness left, but don’t overdo it to the point of being thin, be average, you know, it’s not very nice to be very slim. Read books, learn languages and you You will be able to communicate on any topic and your circle of friends will be larger. You will become the life of the party than these no topics except boys, love, boys sex. Increase your self-esteem, always be confident in yourself, just don’t become selfish. And problems with appearance will go away, no one is perfect, remember this! And smile :)
Karina, age: 12/11/06/2014
They are nobody to you. The main thing is to take care of yourself, find a hobby, set vital goals and objectives. At school now, to put it mildly, they don’t like me. So what? Find yourself real friends, but don’t trust people too much: they might, figuratively speaking, stab you in the back. Listen to the advice of your family and friends. Society is often a herd that is guided by the advice of the leader. By the way, Napoleon was also bullied at school at first. :)
Lynx, age: 16/20/08/2014
It seems to me that you need to force them to respect yourself, surprise them with your achievements, work hard on yourself, and you need to share with your parents, because they know you best and the advice from them will be practical.
Hasanova, age: 46 / 11/27/2014
Play sports. For example, fitness. Correct your figure and make like-minded friends. Don't have complexes in the gym. Not everyone has a perfect body. People come there to improve themselves.
cheerful_rats, age: 35 / 12/27/2014
Lovely girl. In the present, you can only change schools. These people who surround you will never accept you if they don’t accept you right away. If there is no opportunity, then you will have to endure. Then try not to pay attention. And know that you are better than them, because you do not join the herd. And only a herd of sheep asserts itself through the humiliation of other people, those who cannot do anything on their own without this herd. Each of them is simply afraid to be in your place, so they bleat together in your direction. Everything will be fine with you. Think more about the future. Well done.
Svetlana, age: 32 / 03/18/2015
I'm the same!!! Forget it and try to find at least one girlfriend. It's easier to ward off the crowd together;-) good luck to you! And be strong inside!
Natulka, age: 32 / 01/08/2016
Until you recognize and accept yourself, this will continue. No matter how many schools, institutes, groups and jobs you change, you will remain an outcast because you reject yourself. You reject yourself, how should others accept you. Until you change the train of thought in your head in a positive direction, it will continue. The conflict with parents must also be resolved. But your conflict with them is again in your head and it pours out into reality. Accept them as they are. If they start to pester you, a mess starts in your head, rejection of what they say, non-acceptance of the role - just spin the thought “Yes, yes, my dears, I understand you, but I want to do it like this...” no aggression, just calmness.
Arthur, age: 27 / 03/16/2016
Poor thing... I have the same problem, everything is exactly as you stated. I also have no friends, everyone just bullies me... Unfortunately, I can’t give you advice, but I understand you very much.
Tom, age: 16/30/07/2016
Disappointed, you have probably already grown up and changed your outlook on life. Maybe you were lucky enough to find a soul mate.. I would be very glad if so. I just wanted to say that I am the same. The only thing is that they didn’t beat me: I was the smartest in the class and it was simply not profitable for the children to spank me. Even today I cannot understand many of the points of contact between companies, accept the slang and lifestyle of children and youth... I think the solution is to try to do what you love, throw out all your emotions into it... You can also get an animal if your parents don’t mind. If you hug him, your soul will be lighter! Animals understand and support everything!
Just me, age: 21 / 12/12/2016
Wow. This sounds a lot like me. They consider me ugly, fat and as if I hate people. I understand how difficult it is to be and live with such an attitude. And, unfortunately, being in such a situation myself, I can’t help...
Not filled in, age: Many / 04/13/2018
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