How you can and cannot support a man
Can:
- give sensitive advice;
- show trust;
- remind you of achievements and past successes;
- joke politely;
- look into the eyes;
- hug (spouse, boyfriend, father).
It is forbidden:
- demand revelations;
- devalue another person's feelings;
- blame;
- impose help;
- bore with conversations;
- tell everyone about the problem;
- enter personal space unnecessarily;
- overdo it with care;
- call;
- interrupt;
- regret;
- give advice until asked;
- immediately run to solve the man’s problems;
- to be angry because of a man's sad mood;
- give expensive gifts to reassure.
It is important to be understanding of the situation. Gloominess and gloominess are quite understandable; there is no need to be offended by such behavior or “add fuel to the fire.”
Man's support (video)
From the video you will learn how to support your man without disturbing the harmony of your relationship.
Support is about being gentle and accepting. About the lack of judgment, about the willingness to listen and, if necessary, give advice. Often it is not necessary to do anything other than this: offer solutions, help with money, advise friends for work, or give sedatives. Often it is enough to just be there and not devalue or be condescending. And remember that everyone has bad times - and that they pass.
Words of support for your loved one: are they needed?
Agree, each of us wants to see a strong, confident and successful man next to us. It is in their youth that girls are ready to put up with even those shortcomings of their “prince” that are not worth putting up with at all.
Boorish attitude, lack of desire to achieve something in life, dirt under the nails, in the end! “Everything is beautiful in the beloved...” - do you recognize it?
Thank heavens, grown women have different views on this matter. By the way, his bank account plays not the least role (what is it, one of the main roles). And those who claim that money is not important are blatantly lying. Well, either they have obvious problems with self-esteem.
Agree, it is much more pleasant to live in a spacious apartment with a view of the city panorama than in a “one-room apartment” with a view of his mother.
So, why does a man need support and does he need it at all? Let's consider this question rhetorical.
A man is, first of all, just a person.
All of us, regardless of gender, need love, acceptance and understanding from loved ones. In childhood we receive all this from our parents, in adulthood - from our partner.
Personally, to this day my mother’s phrase “Sunny, I’m proud of you” warms my soul even more than a salary bonus. I'm sure I'm not the only one.
Let's return to our men, who bear a much greater burden. Think for yourself: we have every right to come home from work, lock ourselves in the bathroom and start crying.
Moreover, a good reason for this is not required at all.
Moreover, everything can be attributed to physiology (thanks to “those days”). But if a man, having crossed the threshold, begins to cry excitedly... well... so-so. Therefore, he keeps all his experiences to himself, fearing to seem like a “sob.”
In my opinion, the importance of support is more than obvious.
And it doesn’t matter what kind of guy he is: a brutal “bearded man” on a bike or a romantic “Justin Bieber”, carefully styling his hair. To finally make sure that you need to support your man, just look here:
How to provide support from a distance?
It is, of course, harder to support from a distance than close. In the 2nd case, you can touch the shoulder, and hug, and take them out for a walk, and look into the eyes, and even say more than 10 sentences with one smile.
But sometimes there is simply no other choice and you have to cope while being far away.
Actually, it's not too difficult either.
Need to:
- Try to stay in touch more often . Fortunately, in the age of the Internet it is easy: Skype, applications on the phone, SMS, emails - there are a lot of possibilities.
- Send nice supportive SMS . Something in the spirit of wishes for good morning and good night, questions about your well-being. This is appropriate in case of a big disaster that lasts for some time.
- Listen . This can be done from a distance no less effectively than in reality. You can call each other, you can communicate in text applications, answering with emoticons instead of smiles and nods.
- Maintain the illusion of your own presence in a man’s (appropriate for girls who are in a relationship with him). Send photos and voice messages, talk about your own life, watch movies together, fortunately, there are special sites for this.
And, of course, you can always ask: “How can I help you?” This is also a good way.
Advice! You can also leave him alone if a man needs it, and this will also be support.
Types of women supporting a man. And who are you?
You can always look at a few things and it’s definitely not fire and water. We are talking about women who try to support their loved ones. Many do it so selflessly and comically that they deserve to be on this list.
Read the description of each and honestly admit: do you recognize yourself?
Type No. 1. Know-it-all
This lady will not be surprised by any dismissal from work or a conflict with an upstart colleague. Not only did she assume all this a long time ago, but she also knows what to do. If a man wants to attend a lecture by a self-taught psychologist, let him marry a “know-it-all.”
You just need to take into account that this “subscription” is for life.
Type No. 2. Your “boyfriend”
This woman certainly knows what a sad man needs... A couple of bottles of beer, a pack of chips and football will take away the sadness. In childhood, such ladies, as a rule, communicated a lot with boys, and therefore “brotherly” adopted their behavior model.
If a man likes “friendship” sex, this type of woman may well be suitable.
Type No. 3. Psychologist
This type is very similar to the “Know-It-All”, but there is one clarification: such a lady is really a psychologist. Not by profession, but by vocation. She can listen and give some practical advice that will really help in practice. In principle, not the worst option.
Unless a man is embarrassed by doctor-patient communication. And you need to be prepared for the fact that HE will be in the role of a terminally ill person.
Type No. 4. Sufferer
She can cook soup, paint eyelashes and vacuum at the same time... But if a man wants to complain, all matters automatically go into the “Not important” category. The “sufferer” can listen to her loved one at any time of the day or night, complaining about life’s injustice and human cruelty.
The man is unlikely to receive help, but he will be able to cry.
Type No. 5. Savior
Nothing is scary with her. The “savior” will listen to her beloved, give advice, and even be able to solve all his problems for him. Trouble at work? No problem! She will come to the office and “punish” the unfair boss! Rude in line? In a minute the offender will be wiped off the face of the earth!
It’s not at all clear why such a woman needs a man? Is it “for beauty”?!
Take care of yourself too
Your couple consists of two people, each of whom is equally important. It's great if you're willing to support your loved one, but you also need to take care of yourself. What is good for one is good for the other, and at best the needs of both will be met. We offer you some ideas on how you can take care of yourself.
- Take care of your health. Absolutely everything - mind, emotions, intuition, etc. - works better when you are healthy. Don't overlook exercise, eating right and getting enough sleep.
- Maintain relationships with friends. The reasons are the same as we mentioned above. He who helps another needs support himself.
- Join a psychological support group. You may think that you are not the type to go to group psychology classes, but believe me, there are many options.
- Take a course of psychotherapy. This will give you a safe environment for conversations and a professional ready to listen to you.
How to support a man competently and effectively
- Try to carefully inquire about his experiences - without hysterical notes in his voice, without feline curiosity and the desire to “ask for the sake of asking.”
- Listen - peacefully, sincerely, with an understanding look and silent participation.
- Express faith in him as a man - truly, with optimism and motivation for his further victories.
- Do not doubt that he will cope with any misfortune and misfortune - show steadfastness in your support, be unshakably confident in your hero.
- To know and see him as the smartest man in the world - without exaggeration, wanting to take the side of the one who always makes the right decisions.
Yes!
1. A loving wife who cares about the success of her husband should tactfully and unobtrusively help him increase his self-esteem and self-confidence. Of course, boundless praise is as unhelpful as aggressive humiliation. It is necessary to find a balance: maintaining his self-confidence, tactfully remind the man that luck rarely comes by itself - most often it is the result of accumulated knowledge, experience and determination. It also wouldn’t hurt to tactfully, casually remind you that “real men” usually don’t give in to difficulties.
2. Do not neglect the everyday component: for a man to be active, cheerful and successful, he needs to create comfortable conditions. Rational, high-quality nutrition, order in the house, timely rest - these “little things” can become not only support, but also an inspiring factor. After all, it is much easier to go on a feat, knowing that warmth and comfort awaits you at home.
3. It is very advisable to involve your man in a healthy lifestyle, to help fight bad habits (even seemingly “harmless” ones like smoking or an addiction to coffee). Try to involve him in morning exercises, and even better, instill an interest in morning jogging and evening walks in the fresh air, and perhaps in visiting the pool or gym.
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4. If possible, help your chosen one expand their knowledge. There is no success without learning, and in today's fast-paced world, adequate, useful information is of great value. Don't overdo it: no one likes people who teach others how to live. Instead of a lecture, share with your man a book on a topic that interests him or provide a link to a useful article. If he wants, he will read it.
5. A smart life partner will help her partner in every way to tune in to luck, victory and success. Perhaps this is the most important task: constantly, but unobtrusively reminding your life partner that unlucky people simply do not exist - it is we ourselves who attract failure and create luck.
How to calm your boyfriend down with words
The relationships of young people who are just going through the candy-bouquet period differ from the relationships of married couples with experience. Youth, passion, ease of communication, blending of characters are characteristics characteristic of this time.
But even during this period, the relationship between a guy and a girl can be deep and sensual.
If a close friend has a problem or has suffered a setback, the support and warmth of a girl will help the guy to believe in himself.
Statements and posts from groups on the Internet are full of advice on how to support a guy with words. But more important than words will be attention, a calm and balanced attitude, and faith in your chosen one.
If from a young age a girl understands that her calling in life is to inspire, support, empathize, and not dictate her demands and show aggressive traits, she will become a good wife and a faithful friend to her loved one.
In any situation, it is worth remembering that often it is the understanding that a loved one is behind you, who is ready to support you and even lend a shoulder at the right moment, that radically changes the situation and - in a figurative sense - gives wings behind your back.
A man who is criticized, whose mistakes are constantly pointed out, is unable to achieve anything.
The ability to provide support is a talent. This is the ability to see what others do not yet see, this is the ability to turn disadvantages into advantages.
Many women misunderstand support and often confuse it with encouragement and praise. Yes, these concepts are somewhere nearby and similar, but they have a very significant difference.
Usually we praise for some victories and actions; praise must be earned. And support - it is given just like that, simply because this person is next to you, he is dear to you and you believe in him.
So, to provide support, you need to:
Accept a man as he is today. Criticism will not change or correct anything. Unfortunately, if we women are criticized, we strive to improve and change. But men are built differently: they become even worse.
It’s like in school, if a girl gets a “C”, she will be very worried and learn everything with an “A”, and a boy, having received a “D”, will stop studying altogether.
A positive attitude means you should expect only the best. What helps to be optimistic?
Keep a diary, gratitude makes us happy here and now.
And also stop watching the news, or better yet, avoid TV altogether. The news is negative. Today a plane crashed, tomorrow people died. Then we vaguely feel anxiety, fear, worry; in such a situation it is impossible to remain positive.
No!
1. A smart woman will not stop her partner from being himself. Don't make it fit the image you like or think is ideal. A man must develop qualities that contribute to the realization of his main interests - this is his path, have respect and support his individuality.
2. You should not rush a man, wanting to see the end result as soon as possible. The secret of success is in the sequence of actions: you need to go from step to step, not running ahead, but not falling behind. Remember: hysteria on the topic “everyone already has it, but we have a full paragraph” can lead a person astray from the intended path.
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3. Dictatorial methods almost always generate rejection in a man. Therefore, your task is, first of all, to eradicate the tyrant and despot from yourself and become the person you want to see yourself: caring and loving. Only with love, tactfully and carefully can you help a man determine his goals in life and find the roads that lead to their achievement.
4. A perspicacious and far-sighted woman will not suppress the creative impulses of her husband: let it seem to you that organizing hot air balloon flights over the Moscow Ring Road in winter is not the best business plan. But it’s still not worthwhile to sharply “cut from the shoulder” and criticize a man. Search is one of the stages of realizing success, and everyone has the right to it.
5. Don’t start a family tradition of crying into each other’s vests. Sympathy is a feeling that does not have to be expressed in words. Easily, almost jokingly, stop a man’s attempts to whine and lament that “everything is bad” and “there is no chance”! Such conversations switch the brain to justifying its own failures, which can gradually become the norm. Failure is a temporary phenomenon that will soon pass, so is it worth wasting energy on whining?
What should you say to support a man?
It is important not only to behave correctly, but also to be able to say the right things. How can you support a man with words?
If you are looking for an answer to this question, then pay attention to the following phrases:
- Dear or beloved, you are (any compliment follows).
- I am very proud of you.
- I didn't doubt you.
- I believe in your strength.
- I'm with you.
- We can handle it.
- You can rely on me.
- I appreciate everything you do.
This is an approximate list of words that can be used to support a man. The main thing is to show confidence in him, care, that he can count on someone.
Words of support are very important for a man; if you say them in time, then a difficult situation will no longer be so insurmountable.
Recognize and reward achievements
Professional athletes love “educated fans” who understand the intricacies of the game and understand when to cheer and shout and when not to. Musicians and actors also prefer an audience that understands when to applaud. When we are faced with difficult work, the support of a loving person is like a sip of cool water. Your partner is engaged in a difficult, painful and incomprehensible matter. Sometimes you will want to take part of the burden of his problems upon yourself, but, of course, this is impossible. But you can be there, understand what he is going through, and celebrate his victories with him.
Useful tips and tricks
Here are some more important tips to help you properly support your loved one:
- It is important to look at the man’s response and focus on it.
- If your partner is wrong or behaves inappropriately, there is no need to tell him that he is bad. Gently hint this to him.
- Pity should not be confused with sympathy. You shouldn't cooze with an older man. Recognize that it will take a lot of effort to solve the problem.
- If a man was warned about a possible development of events, there is no need to remind him of this.
- Let the person know that they are accepted for who they are.
- Control your emotions during a conversation. The man may reveal new unpleasant details of the case. Therefore, you should not lose your temper and become more upset than your partner. Periodically, ladies immediately panic and start shouting: “This is terrible! How will we live further? This should not be done under any circumstances.
- A wise woman will not criticize the shortcomings of her chosen one. She will highlight his advantages and protect him from making the wrong decision.
- You can offer your partner a back massage, so he can relieve tension and feel supported.
- It's worth preparing a delicious dinner or having a romantic evening. The man will be pleasantly surprised.
- Don't show your fear if something happens. Speak confidently and calmly.
Remember that a man draws energy from his woman. She, in turn, receives it from nature.
