For the husband to tell the truth. How to find out the truth using conspiracies


“He lies like he breathes” - for some men, such a statement is more than true.
They are so used to lying at every turn that they do it with or without reason. Most of the men who tell lies are married, who have become in the habit of concealing the real state of affairs from their legal spouses. Moreover, a man’s lie is not necessarily connected with betrayal or the actual salary figure. But even in this case, the wife should start to worry, try to understand why her husband is constantly lying, and decide how to deal with it. From this article you will learn:

  • Why does my husband always lie?
  • What types of husbands are there who like to lie?
  • What to do if your husband constantly lies about little things
  • How to understand that a husband is constantly lying to his wife and determine the presence of a mistress
  • How to regain trust if you decide to forgive your husband who constantly lies
  • How to teach your spouse to tell the truth

Why does my husband always lie?

All people are different, and everyone has their own opinion about lying. Some believe that white lies are sometimes simply necessary. Others do not condone lying under any circumstances. Voltaire, for example, was an adherent of the first point of view, Kant - the second. But theory is theory, what should a woman do if her husband constantly lies? After all, such behavior of a spouse, whatever one may say, brings severe emotional suffering.

What to do in such a situation? The most important thing here is to try to calm down. If this is not done in time, then the situation can only worsen - with the same scandals. You need to think things over coldly and try to understand how often your spouse tells lies. Constantly or occasionally? And what is the reason for this?

In fact, the habit of deceit is born in a person almost from the first years of life. A child who was punished for the slightest reason tried to avoid it. How can you achieve what you want if not with the help of lies? By the way, this method of “protection” is often used in practice by fully grown, accomplished people.

Does your husband lie all the time? Calmly think about the situation. Find out how things are. There are two possible options:

  • The spouse deceives everyone all the time, he simply cannot live without it. Constantly lies to his boss, lies to his friends, lies to you. Perhaps even he realizes the wrongness of his behavior, but is unable to solve the problem on his own. And in this case, only consultation with a specialist will help. A psychotherapist or psychiatrist will determine the cause of this tendency to lie and begin treatment.
  • The second option is that your spouse is lying exclusively to you. This means that there is some reason for such behavior. You may be overly controlling of your husband. Where there is no trust, lies are born. And here it is already useless to seek the advice of a psychologist. To radically change the situation, you need to start with yourself.

If your husband is only deceiving you, there must be reasons for this too. The main ones are the following:

  • The desire to maintain peace in the family. Some questions asked by your beloved spouse simply cannot be answered honestly. Otherwise, she will be offended, or even start a scandal. Think about how many husbands admit that the dress does not suit the missus at all or does it make her look fat? Or does it make you look like a woman with reduced social responsibility? It’s not difficult to fight this kind of lie: you just need to let your husband know that you can take criticism normally, without a rolling pin in your hands.
  • Another reason why your husband constantly lies is his desire to look better in your eyes than he really is. For example, more successful, smart, talented. How to prevent your spouse from inventing non-existent achievements? Very simple. Try to support him in all his endeavors. And if criticism is required, then it should be friendly, without comparisons like “Vasya only completed eight grades, but earns sixteen times more than you.” Your husband may not change his attitude towards Vasya, but he will not forgive you for such claims. And in order not to hear such an assessment next time, he will prefer to lie rather than tell the truth.
  • Restriction of the husband’s freedom is another good reason for his constant lies. Not a single man in his right mind would admit to his wife that he was drinking in the garage with friends, because this would inevitably be followed by a scandal. It’s easier to come up with an important meeting with partners.
  • Almost from the same series is the husband’s constant lies because his wife is against his meetings with friends. It would be safer to “stay late at work” than to “have a couple of beers” at the bar. Everyone is calmer.

If you start respecting a man and not limiting his personal space (within reason, of course), then the benefits of such behavior will appear almost immediately. The husband will stop constantly lying, because he will have no reason to do it. Most men prefer to see their wife not as a strict mother, but as a loyal friend.

Why men constantly lie, watch the next video

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Prayer against lies and deception

For our readers: a prayer against lies and deception with a detailed description from various sources.

Complete collection and description: Orthodox prayer against lies for the spiritual life of a believer.

God and Father! We thank You for this story left to us on the pages of the Bible.

This speaks so clearly of the corruption of our hearts.

Let us know and remember that You are a holy and just God.

You will not tolerate or condone our sin. We know that lying is a sin, but we find it difficult to get rid of it.

We ask you to free us from this terrible sin and sanctify our lives so that we live a true life of righteousness.

You do not want us to commit sin in order to achieve any good.

Let us understand how pleasing to You is the sincerity of the heart, and how hateful are pretense and lies. Moreover, as You please, the holy and pure dispensation of the Church.

We thank You for being long-suffering and often slow to punish us.

Grant us an open, honest and appreciative heart.

Help us learn to tell the truth!

We prayed in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen.

Oh, Saint Michael the Archangel, bright and formidable commander of the Heavenly King! Before the Last Judgment, let me repent from my sins, deliver my soul from the net that catches me and bring me to the God who created me, who sits on the Cherubim, and pray diligently for her, so that through your intercession I will send her to the resting place.

O formidable commander of the Heavenly Powers, representative of all at the Throne of the Lord Christ, guardian of the strong man and wise armorer, strong commander of the Heavenly King! Have mercy on me, a sinner who requires your intercession, save me from all visible and invisible enemies, and moreover, strengthen me from the horror of death and from the embarrassment of the devil, and grant me the honor of unashamedly presenting myself to our Creator at the hour of His terrible and righteous Judgment.

PRAYER TO THE MARTYR AND WONDERWORKER JOHN THE WARRIOR

First prayer to the martyr John the Warrior

O great martyr of Christ John, champion of the Orthodox, chaser of enemies and intercessor of the offended! Hear us, in troubles and sorrows, praying to you, as if grace from God was given to you quickly to console the sad, to help the weak, to deliver the innocent from vain death, and to pray for all those who suffer evil.

Pray to our Lord to grant us, His sinful and unworthy servants (names), to receive from Him the ineffable good that is prepared for those who love Him, in the Trinity of the Holy Ones, glorifying God, always, now and ever, and unto the ages of ages. Amen.

Second prayer to the martyr John the Warrior

About the martyr of Christ, John the warrior! Thou art brave in battle, and a chaser of the enemy, and an intercessor for the offended, for all Orthodox Christians.

O great intercessor and servant of Christ, John the warrior! Have mercy on us, sinners and unworthy, and intercede in troubles and sorrows, and in sorrows and in every evil adversity, and from every evil and offending person, for you have been given such grace from God to pray for us, sinners, in troubles and besieged those who suffer evil.

Deliver us from those who offend and hate, and be a strong champion for us against all our visible and invisible enemies. O great champion, John the warrior! Do not forget us, who always pray to you, asking for your help and your endless mercy, and grant us, sinners and unworthy, to receive from God the ineffable goodness that is prepared for those who love Him. For all glory, honor and worship is due to Him, the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and ever, and unto ages of ages. Amen.

We invite you to familiarize yourself with the Lion tattoo with a clock meaning

O great martyr of Christ John! Hear me running to you (name), grant me quick help and intercession in my grief (the content requested), for with your help and struggle all those who show evil to me will be put to shame. Amen.

The ringing of a church bell first rang over Russia in the 10th century. From this moment on, the ringing of bells is continuously connected with the spiritual life of every Orthodox Christian.

The sound of a bell is not only a voice about the beginning of the Divine Service, not only a notification of great Orthodox holidays, but also a reminder of the heavenly world, a call to repentance, repentance and awareness of the real meaning of human existence.

Definition of Passion

A lie is an untruth, a deliberate distortion of the truth, a deception. Some people consider the sin of lying to be an unimportant, unimportant sin, but the Holy Scriptures and the Holy Fathers say completely differently.

St. John Climacus writes: “No one who is prudent will consider a lie a minor sin; for there is no vice against which the All-Holy Spirit would pronounce such a terrible saying as against lying. If God destroys all those who tell lies (Ps. 5:7), then how will those who sew lies with oaths suffer?” (Lev. 12:3).

According to the explanation of the holy fathers, a lie can be a thought, a word or life. Although today we see another type of lie - lying in one's appearance - cosmetics.

Lie with a thought

A person lies with his mind when he infers from his eyes, from his gait or from his clothes what a person is thinking about or tries to judge his intentions. This type of lie can be called false thoughts.

Lie with words

A person who, out of laziness, does not do something, but tries to justify himself by lying, lies with words.

Lie with life

He lies by life who, being a fornicator, pretends to be abstinent or, being a lover of money, speaks of mercy. And such a liar does this for the reason of covering up his sin or deceiving someone’s soul with a virtuous appearance.

“The fate of all liars is in the lake of fire” (Rev. 21:8).

“The devil is a liar and the father of lies” (John 8:44).

“God is truth” (John 14:6).

“Cursed is the liar” (Malachi 1:14).

“He who speaks a lie will perish” (Prov. 19:9).

“God is faithful, but every man is a liar” (Rom. 3:4).

Reasons for lying

1) Hypocrisy is the mother of lies (Lev. 12:6).

2) Verbosity and ridicule give rise to lies (Lev. 12:1).

3) Lies are born out of fear of punishment (Lev. 12:8).

4) Lying to cause harm to one's neighbor (Lev. 12:9).

5) Lie out of passion for fame, so as not to humble yourself.

6) Lying because of the passion of voluptuousness, for the sake of fulfilling one’s desires.

7) Lying because of the passion of love of money in order to buy or sell, as the Russian folk proverb says: “If you don’t deceive, you won’t sell.”

The main means of combating lies is truthfulness. Although in some cases the truth can be a very terrible weapon against one’s neighbor: “Truth spoken maliciously is like a notorious lie.”

1) The false thoughts that arise in us must be turned into good ones.

Advice from Elder Paisius the Holy Mountain on how to turn false thoughts into good ones: The most serious illness of our era is the vain thoughts of worldly people. They can have whatever you want, except good intentions. They suffer because they do not approach their circumstances spiritually.

For example, a person is driving somewhere by car. On the road, the engine begins to malfunction, and he arrives at his destination with a slight delay. Having a good thought, the latecomer will say this: “Apparently, the Good God slowed me down for a reason.

Who knows: maybe if this delay had not occurred, I would have had an accident! My God, how can I thank You for saving me from danger!” And such a person glorifies God.

2) It is good for the fight against lies to recall sayings from the Holy Scriptures directed against lies.

3) Due to the fact that lies are most often caused by the action of three main passions: love of fame, love of money and love of voluptuousness, it is necessary to always fight these passions, and therefore the lie itself.

4) It is always good to admit to a lie so that, having experienced shame, you will refrain from lying next time.

6) The fear of God and conscience eliminate lies (Lev. 12:7).

Many of our readers ask about some kind of prayer against deception and cunning on the part of people. Such prayers are very necessary for each of us. Remember how many times you or someone you know has been deceived by people you trusted. And many series heroes can simply envy their cunning and resourcefulness.

To protect yourself from deception, you need to periodically read such prayers. Its power will help you avoid deception and will open your eyes to people who smile sweetly at you, but in fact hate you fiercely.

So don’t be surprised if, after regularly reading your prayer, you accidentally learn a lot of unpleasant things about your good friends.

The prayer against deception and cunning must be read on the new moon. Here are the words of the prayer.

“In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

Spine bone, neck bone,

Paper body, magnify my work.

How unlawful it is for anyone to lie,

To cheat and dodge at the Last Judgment,

So you can’t deceive me, the servant of God (name),

To rob, to outwit, to deceive.

I will confuse the thoughts of liars, I will fool their brains,

I will smash all insidious plans,

I'll find out all the cunning plans.

Neither the old nor the young,

Neither sorcerers nor witches.

They'll fall asleep in the smoke, they won't touch me with their hands,

They will not be deceived by evil deception,

They won't lure you in with cunning.

I, the servant of God (name), am talking myself out of deception.

As I say, so it will be.

Key. Lock. Language.

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How to expose a husband who constantly lies

Are you one hundred percent sure that your husband constantly lies, even about small things, but you have no idea how to bring him to light? Use logic and attention. In fact, playing Sherlock Holmes is not that difficult. Pay attention even to small details in your spouse’s stories, try to remember them or even write them down.

Pathological liars are usually very good at their job. Their stories are logical and consistent. But even in them, sooner or later, various kinds of inconsistencies appear.

In addition, the truth about your spouse can be heard in a friendly company. And if this truth does not suit a man in any way, he will have to come up with various excuses. And doing this right away is not so easy.

A pathological liar can be easily identified by the following signs:

  1. He is constantly confused in his “testimonies”.
    Some points in the stories contradict each other. But if you notice this, then resentment cannot be avoided.
  2. Often such a man behaves secretly and withdrawn
    . His friends can be counted on one hand - simply because they do not correspond to the picture of the world invented by the liar. People who are used to constantly lying love to give advice to others, and it is extremely rare that this advice turns out to be effective.
  3. People who lie constantly have no problem making up new facts on the fly
    . And they do it so skillfully that you unconditionally believe them.

There are situations when a husband constantly lies, but at the same time you understand that he is doing this for a reason, and the person needs help. What to do in this case?

  • Make it a rule to record your conversations, preferably not even in a notebook, but on a voice recorder, so that your husband does not have the opportunity to refuse his words.
  • Having exposed your spouse in a lie, be sure to ask for what purpose he lied.
  • Always listen carefully to the person - precisely in order to catch him in deception. Don’t believe constant excuses, look for weak points in the story written for you. And be sure to get ready for the fact that, on top of everything else, you will also be accused of unbelief.

Why is all this needed? The fact is that this manner of behavior will help you determine exactly what kind of liar a man is. You will understand the reasons for what is happening and will be able to say for sure whether this behavior is dangerous for your marriage.

Find out the truth in a dream

If you need to find out the truth from a very close person, then a conspiracy to tell the truth at home will help. This option is very convenient when the subject lives nearby and there is an opportunity to observe him while sleeping. This is how, without knowing it, a man will tell the whole truth. You just have to decide what to do with it.

  1. On the waxing moon on a bright starry night, when your husband is fast asleep, whisper the following words: “I praise the great Lord, whom everyone knows, whom everyone glorifies. He helps his creations on earth and gives life to each of them. I ask the Lord to put a grain of truth into the mouth of God’s servant (name). Let it grow in him, let it speak on its own. Let that seed in the dreams of the servant of God (name) break out into a great flower of truth. Let him tell me everything that I, a servant of God (my own name), want to know. And I want to know everything. Key. Lock. Amen".
  2. At the end, you can go to bed and not wait for the truth.

At the moment when the words of truth flow from the lips of your spouse, you will wake up and be able to hear all the information of interest; this is the peculiarity of the conspiracy that allows you to find out the truth in a dream.

Types of husbands who like to lie

Deception on the part of a loved one cannot be liked by definition. Moreover, it can give rise to a storm of indignation, scandal and, in some cases, even separation. How can you live with someone you don't trust? But even if the husband constantly lies, the relationship can still be saved. The main thing is not to accuse him of all mortal sins at once, but to sit down and calmly think about what can be done in this case.

First of all, try to find out how often your husband lies to you and for what reason he does it. According to psychologists, there are three “varieties” of the situation:

  1. Easy fibbing on little things.
    Does your husband constantly lie about little things? Well, yes, it’s unpleasant, but is it worth sorting things out with quarrels and scandals? Perhaps your spouse simply has a well-developed imagination? Why not let the man you love lie, especially if it doesn’t harm anyone? Did he catch a fish that was not as big as he boasts, and in general, did he buy it at the market? Did you collect not two buckets of mushrooms, but half a basket? Don’t offend your spouse, play along with him, or even turn it into a joke. You'll see, this will only benefit the relationship. Things are more complicated with his love adventures, which, of course, happened before you. It’s not very pleasant to constantly hear this from your own spouse. In this case, it is better to remain silent, but under no circumstances doubt his masculine strength, extraordinary charisma and powerful brutality. Such mistrust hurts one’s pride, and a man will not forgive it.
  2. Pathological liar.
    What to do if your husband constantly lies? The psychology of his behavior can be explained quite simply: he is a pathological liar. This means that appropriate measures should be taken. According to experts, people who constantly deceive themselves sincerely believe in their fables. In most cases, this happens because the person has too low self-esteem. A man constantly lies not only to his wife. Colleagues, boss, friends and even just acquaintances are also victims of his deception. This behavior is largely explained by the conditions of upbringing. Perhaps the person simply had to hide his mistakes, otherwise punishment from his parents was inevitable. No wonder they say that many men never grow up. The pattern of behavior learned in childhood continues into adulthood. By the way, a man could develop the habit of constantly lying “thanks to” constant control from his ex-wife or mistress. The person did not want problems in the relationship and chose a similar way to avoid them. In order for a pathological liar to stop lying at every step, he needs the help of a qualified specialist. You are unlikely to be able to change the situation for the better on your own.
  3. The husband only lies to his wife.
    A similar situation occurs all the time. And here, in most cases, it is not the man’s character or the peculiarities of his upbringing in childhood that is to blame, but family relationships. And they need to be changed first.

Recommended articles on this topic:

  • Manipulation, worship and narcissism: how to live with a narcissistic man?
  • Phrases for dating that will make a man ask you out on a date
  • Training, psychologist or psychic: where to go when everything is difficult?

Conspiracy to talk

This magical ritual can be used when you want to get a person to talk and want to find out the whole truth from him. By preparing with this ritual, you will ensure that this contact with him is as effective as possible. This ritual should be carried out on the eve of the day when a frank conversation will take place.

On a blank sheet of paper you need to write the full name of the person with whom you are going to have a frank dialogue. Then it is important to light the candle. Move a sheet of paper high over the candle so that it does not burn, and at the same time you need to read the following magical text:

“He told me, he said everything, he wasn’t afraid. He came to me and poured out his soul. I'm talking about the servant of God (his name). On a universal scale, your truth is a drop, do not be afraid; in an infinite key, your truth is only yours. I will find out everything, I will understand everything, we speak heart to heart, we speak with our souls, not our mouths. As has been said, it will be so, but it cannot be any other way.”

After this, you need to fold the piece of paper into four and hide it under your pillow. You can get rid of it only after the conversation takes place. With this ritual, you seem to relieve your interlocutor from the fear of telling you the truth. The ritual also works in the opposite direction; you also become bolder and more honest in relation to your interlocutor. This is a very resourceful magical ritual. Because thanks to the mental strength that it gives, a lot can then be changed in contact with the interlocutor.

As the Russian folk proverb says: “The less you know, the better you sleep.” This is true. But not in all cases. Sometimes it is ignorance of the truth that prevents you from falling asleep peacefully and even living a full life. Is the desire to know the truth driving you crazy? Are you ready to find out the necessary information by any method? Then read the conspiracy of truth, maybe it will help you find out what is being hidden from you.

What to do if your husband constantly lies about little things

It is especially unpleasant when the spouse lies and does not see anything criminal in his behavior. This is doubly offensive. You can, of course, start to control your spouse or try to pretend to be Miss Marple. But what if you don't like these methods? How to stop your husband from constantly lying, using more “gentle” methods?

First of all, remember that no successful marriage is possible without full communication. Sometimes even major scandals can be avoided if you just sit down and talk calmly with your husband. Some might say that this method of solving problems is extremely banal. However, it is not. At a minimum, during the conversation you will be able to find out the reason why your husband constantly lies to you.

Of course, it may also happen that the spouse simply refuses to discuss this topic. This is unlikely to lead to an immediate divorce, but trust will be completely lost. And here there are only two ways out of this situation: either accept reality as it is, or think hard about the future of your relationship with your spouse.

Changing another person, and especially a man, is incredibly difficult. In most cases, this is simply unrealistic. But there is always the opportunity to change yourself. Talk to your husband about his constant lying and see if his behavior has changed for the better. Has he stopped lying to you at every turn or has he simply become much more cunning? Does he even want to start working on himself? Or did you prefer to forget about the conversation?

Sometimes a husband constantly lies simply because he cannot do otherwise. And no preventative conversations asking you to change for the better will help here. There are situations when only special therapies can correct the situation. The main thing is that the person really wants to solve the problem.

The desire for pathological lies in psychology is called Munchausen syndrome

. That is, by and large, it is a disease. And many diseases can be cured.

So that the husband does not lie

When the person hiding the truth from you falls asleep, stand next to him, and, crossing his mouth, whisper a conspiracy against lying:

“With the sign of the cross I cure lies, with the sign of the cross (spouse’s name) I wean from lies.

The heroines of the famous series constantly used joint spells.

Neither in the morning, nor in the afternoon, nor in the evening, nor at night, will you say a cunning and unrighteous word. And if you want to lie, let your tongue go numb, and your eyes go dark. The Lord himself will be your judge. In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen".

How to understand that a husband is constantly lying to his wife and determine the presence of a mistress

Marital fidelity is one of the pillars on which a strong family stands. When a husband constantly cheats and lies about it, this behavior can keep the marriage afloat for a while. But as a result, everything secret becomes clear. And if some women are still able to forgive infidelity, then regular lies about the fact of infidelity leave them no choice but to get a divorce.

However, by some signs it is still possible to determine at an early stage whether a spouse has a mistress or not.

  1. An unexpected desire to dress well and beautifully
    . The famous American divorce lawyer Merlin Stowe believes that if a man suddenly begins to pay attention to his appearance (even though he had not paid much attention to it before) this is a sure sign of betrayal. If a man has taken care of himself in this regard before, then it is too early to sound the alarm. Perhaps he simply decided to do it more carefully.
  2. The desire to keep a mobile phone with you at all times.
    It is possible that the man needs this for work. Or he's preparing a surprise for your dog's birthday. But the possibility that your husband is hiding something from you cannot be discounted either.
  3. There are no secrets in an ideal relationship between a man and a woman. But this only happens in a fairy tale, and before the main characters begin their family life. In fact, no one has canceled such a concept as personal space. However, everything is good in moderation. And a password that suddenly appears on the desktop, hidden, protected folders and files on a mobile phone
    can tell an attentive woman a lot. Of course, if she is not the wife of an FSB colonel.
  4. Women's names or names often pop up in your husband's conversation.
    Even a husband who is constantly accustomed to lying and has achieved perfection in this matter is not able to control himself constantly. If he likes a woman, then her name will come up in conversation one way or another. And here urgent measures should be taken before this name begins to randomly appear in the marital bed.
  5. Lack or sharp drop in sexual interest in you.
    A sharp drop in a husband's libido is also a reason to suspect him of cheating. If a man no longer wants you, something is clearly wrong. However, in the latter case, not everything is so simple. The reason for such behavior of the spouse may not be that he has taken a mistress. It may be hidden within you. A woman who has become bored with her, who has stopped taking care of herself and has lost her external attractiveness over time is unlikely to be able to attract a man sexually.

How to tell if a man is lying

Why does a man lie to a woman? We can talk about this topic endlessly. It is known that lies have a destructive effect on us. And deception has just as destructive an impact on the relationship between two people. For what reasons and on what topics do men lie most often?

Of course, first on the list of types of lies is treason. Why are husbands generally afraid to admit to their spouses that they have cheated? It’s not so much the fear of losing family that is to blame, but rather the reluctance and inability to admit one’s mistakes. A person is not even able to tell himself that he did something bad. Therefore, it is not surprising that many men, after betrayal, prefer to deny the fact of betrayal until the last moment, even if women have already found out about it.

How to regain trust and love if you decide to forgive your husband who constantly lies

There are three main exits here. You can file for divorce. You can bury your head in the sand and pretend nothing is happening. Or you can start fighting for your happiness.

You cannot live only in the past; you need to think about the future. And this means that the time has come to take some steps.

If there are problems in the family, you need to solve them, and not hope that everything will resolve itself. Husband constantly lies, cheats, but doesn’t leave? This does not mean that this will always be the case and that we must come to terms with the situation. It's time to take your destiny into your own hands.

There are several excellent ways to resolve a conflict without leading to a scandal, or even the decision to “stay with mom.” How to behave correctly in such a situation?

  • To start, just talk.

More precisely, talking will be the second stage. The first step is to calm down, sit down and think everything through. It's never too late to start a fight. But maybe it would be more useful to properly prepare for the conversation?

First, you should try to restore emotional intimacy with your husband. An invisible wall that has arisen between spouses will not promote mutual understanding, and one may not expect positive results from a heart-to-heart conversation. Try to get your husband to trust you again, especially if this feeling has long been lost.

Don't cling to stereotypes, feel free to break them. After this, there will be a great chance that you will see your loved one with different eyes, and he will begin to treat you as he has never treated you before.

And remember: if your husband constantly lies, then one conversation on this slippery topic will not be enough. After some time, you will have to talk again, and then again and again.

Someone will ask: why a lot of conversations if all the complaints can be clearly expressed in 15 minutes, and then just see what happens?

The fact is that at one time you simply cannot convince your husband that it is time to change something in the relationship. Men are generally designed in such a way that they quickly forget everything, and even more so the things that are unpleasant for them. Whereas a woman constantly turns everything over in her head, cannot get rid of obsessive thoughts, and experiences moments of resentment again and again.

If a husband - even without any ulterior motive - told his wife five years ago that short skirts do not suit her, he will remember such a phrase for a very, very long time. Perhaps even until the end of life. It would seem that the matter is not worth a penny, but such is female psychology, and nothing can be done about it.

The most interesting thing is that the man has long forgotten about what happened as a trifle that does not matter to anyone. And then suddenly, during another quarrel, the wife remembers his “jamb.” And how should one react to this? If it’s wrong, then the woman’s resentment will only intensify, and her attitude towards her husband will, even if only slightly, worsen.

Women in general are emotional creatures. Representatives of the stronger sex sometimes simply do not understand what is going on in the heads of their loved ones. And men need to watch their words especially closely, because any statement, even the most innocent at first glance, can cause offense.

And then one can only wonder why the wife does not show the same tenderness as before, why the beloved husband suddenly turned from a “cat” or “elephant” into something with horns and hooves. Men perceive such female coldness very painfully.

People who live side by side for a long time begin to accumulate complaints against each other - and nothing can be done about it. She accused him of excessive addiction to alcohol; he did not notice her new hairstyle. The reasons may be different, but the result is the same: the once strong relationship is cracking.

Spouses isolate themselves from each other, for example, through work or hobbies. People literally become strangers and live next to each other largely due to habit.

If nothing is done in this situation, then the crack in the relationship will eventually turn into an abyss that will never be overcome. Therefore, we must try to correct the situation before it is too late. In this particular case, sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk.

At the same time, whatever the reason for the urgent conversation, it is necessary to conduct it as calmly as possible, without mutual accusations and, especially, scandals. Look into each other's eyes, hold hands and, perhaps, you will take the first step towards the relationship that you had once upon a time. Love can not only be won, but also returned. The main thing is to try really hard for it.

By the way, there is no need to return to the topic of conversation the next day or a week later. It takes some time to realize everything. And even if the conflict arose over a trifle, a person still must carefully think about the situation. Only in this way will he be able to draw the right conclusions from what happened and begin to restore relationships.

  • Get ready for the next conversation
    .

Does your husband constantly lie about money, drink, and perhaps even have a mistress? Quite a lot of real grievances and unfounded suspicions can accumulate over the years lived together. Sometimes there is so much that you don’t even know where to start. In such a situation, it is better to take a pen and paper and write everything down point by point.

Moreover, it is good if both spouses do this. This practice will allow you to avoid unfounded accusations and provoke a family scandal.

If you remember, there were more than enough unpleasant moments in life. You tried to forget about some of them, while others have disappeared from your memory. But, unfortunately, they have not gone away. And they can emerge from the depths of the mind at the most inopportune moment.

To prevent such things from completely ruining your life, you need to get rid of them. And this can be done, again, with the help of a carefully prepared conversation.

Your husband drank and lied constantly, and you endured it in silence? Were you afraid of losing your loved one or simply not ready to start a new life with someone else? Much here, of course, depends on the character of the person. It is quite difficult to get a phlegmatic person out of his temper, but a choleric person flares up literally from one spark. The result is a scandal, divorce and a maiden name. Or an emotional breakdown, tears and - for the umpteenth time! - fragile peace in the family.

If you unfairly insulted your spouse, of course, you should apologize to him. Even in cases where the offense was completely accidental. And if he sincerely forgives you, you don’t have to think about what happened anymore. Or remember it exclusively with humor.

  • Make a list of mutual complaints.

This is not quite the same as a list of grievances. Although, of course, the items on these lists may coincide. For example, if your husband constantly lies, then this is both a complaint and an insult at the same time.

But be careful about listing the qualities you don't like in your life partner. There are some moments you simply cannot tolerate, but you can reluctantly accept some of your husband’s weaknesses. The key is to be honest when making your list. Perhaps your spouse doesn’t even suspect that some things just piss you off.

After all, everyone understands love in their own way. Some men are crazy when they are called “cats” and “babies”. Others can't stand it. Some husbands want to be greeted at the door when they come home from work. Others understand that the wife is currently in the kitchen, trying, preparing dinner for him, and she simply doesn’t have time for any nonsense.

The wife has her own desires. Some people like to be cuddled and hugged as if the wedding has not yet taken place and the child has not yet been born. Others think exclusively about the career of a businesswoman and consider various kinds of “calf tenderness” to be a waste of time.

  • Once each spouse has written their wishes on paper, it is time to discuss it all.

The most dangerous part of therapy, where you need to act extremely carefully. It may well happen that both spouses “risk” learning a lot of new things about themselves.

For example, a wife may not suspect that her husband does not like the amount of cosmetics she uses. And the husband himself, it turns out, is constantly lying - and doesn’t even know it. The wife expects gratitude for her daily kitchen exploits. A man considers housework to be his wife’s sacred duty, but he himself does not understand why he is not praised for helping in his mother-in-law’s garden.

Sometimes the situation can be straightened out with a properly conducted conversation. But there are often cases when one conversation is clearly not enough - after all, the spouses face such problems in the relationship that they have never even dreamed of.

In this situation, it would be nice to find a topic that is close to both. You can talk about a future vacation or about children, about parents or a shared hobby. The main thing here is not to spend the evening in silence.

Try to understand your thoughts and feelings. This will make you more emotionally stable. If you discuss disturbing things with your husband, this will certainly help you find a common language on slippery issues.

If you still have at least a drop of love for your husband, do not rush to radically change your life by looking for a man on the side. Perhaps it's not too late to fix everything.

Start doing everything together: relaxing, cleaning the house, cooking. In this case, the chance that old feelings will return is very high.

And one more piece of advice. Don't expose your family relationships to your friends' judgment. Firstly, all people are different - and your friend’s life experience will not help you. Secondly, even best friends can be frenemies. And it’s not a fact that they actually want only the best for you.

What men really need from women, watch the following video:

Psychological reasons for lying

There is no such person who would not know what a lie is. Ask anyone, and you will hear what it means when they tell a lie, that is, something that does not correspond to the truth. Deception is deliberately distorted information. They are found at every step.

Let's say you go to the market, want to buy meat, ask if it is fresh, and get an affirmative answer. Although the freshness of the meat leaves much to be desired. When a stranger is going to sell you a foulbrood, you get angry with him, but at least the course of his “dark” thoughts is clear. By hook or by crook, he wants to sell his stale goods.

It is much more offensive when a loved one is caught in a lie, for example, a husband is lying. For many years you have been living next to each other when “one piece of bread is cut in half!”, and suddenly it turns out that he is a desperate liar. Although this didn’t seem to have been noticed about him before. And they begin to be tormented by doubts, what’s the matter, why did this happen?

Psychologists tried to answer these questions. They consider lying as a deliberate distortion of any information, study the reasons for its occurrence and ways to recognize unreliable information. Deception always has its specific addressee, who is engaged in lying, hoping in this way to “fool” the interlocutor’s head, to impose his false opinion on him.

The French enlightener Voltaire (1694-1778) considered lies to be life-saving. It is for the good, for example, it can calm the patient and make the baby happy.

The German Church reformer Martin Luther (1483-1546) said that “a lie always twists, like a snake, which is never straight, whether it crawls or lies at rest; only when she is dead is she straightforward and does not pretend.” This is said figuratively, but the essence of slander is correctly noted - it stings like an asp and brings a lot of misfortune to the one they want to deceive.

It has been noted that people lie on average 2-3 times a day. On the phone much more often (the handset doesn’t turn red). Men are more susceptible to this vice than women.

So why do people lie? Psychoanalysts highlight several main points. This may be a defensive reaction when a person twists his heart to protect himself from an awkward situation, for example, he felt shame.

Sometimes they tell lies in order to save relationships. For example, a guy doesn’t risk telling a girl that what she did is not very good just because he likes her.

They often lie in order not to hurt their painful pride or to protect them from the “destructive” truth. You can hardly call this a “lie in the name of salvation,” but doctors often resort to such deception when they do not risk telling the patient that his days are numbered and the operation will no longer help. I think everyone can remember such cases.

But more often they lie to cover up their selfishness, or when they want to avoid punishment. Man is an egoist by nature. Self-interest lies in all his actions: to have a good family, home and job, to receive a higher salary. The desire is quite natural, but often it goes beyond acceptable limits.

For the sake of personal ambitions, some people go to any lengths of forgery and deception. Such individuals are self-centered and immoral. For them, lying becomes an integral property of the soul.

Psychologist Paul Ekman's book, Know a Liar by Facial Expression, contains many photographs showing how emotions are displayed on the face. It is not without reason that the phraseology “give yourself away” implies that the interlocutor lied and this was clearly reflected on his “face”. An astute person, following the train of thoughts, facial expressions and gestures of his counterpart, can confidently say when he is telling the truth or is being deceitful.

They lie for different reasons, but deception does not enhance personality. The English politician and philosopher Francis Bacon (1561-1626) noted that “a lie exposes a weak soul, a helpless mind, a vicious character.”

There can be many reasons why a husband lies. Let’s say he said that he earned less this month, and hid a certain amount from his wife in a “stash” just in case. And if this lie was accidentally revealed, this is even the worst case of a lie; everything can be resolved through “peaceful negotiations.” It is much worse when the faithful person cheats tirelessly. Most likely, this is evidence that the relationship has reached a dead end.

The reasons why a husband constantly lies can be as follows:

  • Pathological liar
    . This habit has been developed since childhood. His parents constantly punished him for the slightest offense; the boy became afraid and learned to hide his childhood “crimes.” Sometimes harsh living conditions teach you to lie. Children raised in an orphanage often lie. Mutual responsibility reigns among the pupils; they are accustomed to hiding the “pranks” of their peers in front of their teachers, otherwise they will turn out to be “tell-tale bearers”, and then their own children can be severely beaten. Lying to elders has become a norm of survival in the harsh conditions of orphanage life. Having matured and gotten married, many orphanages cannot get rid of their vice and continue to lie to their wives even for no apparent reason.
  • Treason
    . The reasons for infidelity, and as a result, lies, are different. This may be the everyday life of family life, when household chores are already boring or love has cooled down. The wife walks around the apartment disheveled, in a washed out robe. I don't want to look at her. The incident helped me start a relationship with a “mysterious” stranger. Everything is so romantic and mysterious. At home I have to lie, the most common explanation is that I was late at work or had a beer with friends. “Is it really impossible for me to sit next to your skirt all my life?” Sometimes men say that “a good leftist strengthens the marriage.” And therefore they try to have a mistress, sincerely believing that this will not harm family relationships. But this is wrong. Lies have never been a good adviser; like rust, they corrode a marriage.
  • Sexual alienation
    . Love remains in romantic youth, monotonous sex has become boring, and an attempt to introduce a fresh spirit into it encounters the coldness of the wife. She is already tired of family worries, and here she is still working in bed, giving all her best... The husband meets with a sharp rebuff. The relationship becomes insincere, the wife has to lie. Both are to blame here, the man needs to be able to relieve his half of the household routine, and she must sensitively grasp his “intimate” moods and not push away from them with both hands.
  • "Second youth"
    . Everything is fine at home, there is peace and harmony in the family. But “gray hair in a beard, and a demon in a rib.” A man over 50, feeling that he is getting old, suddenly decides to “catch up” with his youth. He is drawn to girls, especially if his position allows him to spend money on such passion. At home you have to dodge and lie: where he often disappears, why he began to bring in less money. Scandals and swearing are unlikely to help here. A wife should make a lot of effort and tact to get out of such a situation with honor and save the family.
  • Domestic troubles
    . They can arise not only through the fault of the husband. Let’s say that the sweetheart gives rise to jealousy, he gets angry, sincerity in the relationship disappears, they become “crooked”, there are a lot of lies in communication. The missus, if she wants to save the family, must analyze the situation and listen to her husband’s opinion.
  • Rejection of the truth
    . Let’s say the wife spends too much money, the family budget is under strain. Her husband tells her about this, she meets his words with anger. The man closes down, in the future he tries to never speak sincerely, and begins to dissemble. Alternatively, he is afraid to say that his wife has begun to look unattractive, for example, during pregnancy, and is forced to deceive her. This is the most harmless type of lie and is not fraught with serious family quarrels.
  • A woman is a leader
    . If the wife is the leader in the family, and the husband is in a subordinate position, lying on his part is a way of self-defense. An attempt to protect himself from her despotic claims to dominate his personality.

It is important to know! More than half of all cases of male lies (51%) are associated with infidelity, followed by drinking (27%), when the husband makes excuses that he only drank a little. Then the inflated purchase price. Let's say he said that he bought a razor for 1000 rubles, although in fact he bought it for a much lower price.

Tips to help teach your spouse to tell the truth

If your husband is constantly lying, try the following tips:

  1. If you are trying to constantly control your spouse, get rid of this habit immediately. Imagine yourself in his place. Would you like it if your husband was jealous of you at every post, called once every half hour and checked your whereabouts? Each person should have room to maneuver.
  2. Does your husband lie all the time? Find the reason for this. Then sit down and discuss the problem with your spouse. Do this calmly, without “attacks” and scandals. Plan the place and time of such a conversation in advance. For example, a showdown in public will not lead to anything good.
  3. Try to give the man the opportunity to relax during the conversation. A comfortable, peaceful environment in many cases can prevent an impending conflict.
  4. Does your husband lie all the time, but doesn’t feel guilty? Then you're going to have a really difficult conversation. Or even giving it up. If the reason for a man’s constant lies is that he simply doesn’t care about you, is it worth continuing the relationship?
  5. Try to treat a single case of lying as calmly as possible. Discuss the situation with your husband and agree that this will not happen again. Try to trust each other in the future - in the vast majority of cases this is the key to preserving the family.
  6. If the reason for the husband’s constant lies lies in the field of psychology, then there is nothing left to do but seek the help of a qualified specialist. To begin with, you can do this yourself, without a spouse. The main thing is not to delay solving the problem that has arisen.

Thank you for reading this article to the end.

Hello, my name is Yaroslav Samoilov. I am an expert in the psychology of relationships and over the years of practice I have helped more than 10,000 girls meet worthy soul mates, build harmonious relationships and return love and understanding to families that were on the verge of divorce.

More than anything, I am inspired by the happy eyes of students who meet the people of their dreams and enjoy a truly vibrant life.

My goal is to show women a way to develop relationships that will help them create a synergy of success and happiness!

Magic ritual “Mirror of Truth”

This ritual helps to identify the cause of your problems and troubles, and, if there is a negative program, completely neutralize it. For the ritual you will need: a frameless mirror (30 x 40 cm), a new black cloth slightly larger in size than the mirror, dry wormwood (2 tablespoons), dried sage (1 tablespoon), a strand of your own hair, a candle, a metal cauldron, a box new matches.

Every little detail must be observed in order for this spell to work correctly.

The ritual should begin on the full moon. A candle is lit, herbs and hair are thrown into the pot, which are burned to ashes, while the plot is read:

“Burn the candle, burn the grass, burn not the body, but the dirty deed. The hat on the guilty one is on fire, but the mirror tells the truth. Exactly!"

The mirror is evenly covered with ash, and with the index finger of the right hand scales with bowls in balance are drawn on it. After this, the mirror is covered with black cloth and the reflective side is turned to the east and left in this position for 9 days, after which the cloth is removed.

If, when you open the mirror, you see the scales in balance, there is no damage to you, but if the image has changed, then the damage can be easily removed by simply washing the mirror. If additional signs appear on the mirror, then you are the cause of your troubles and misfortunes, for example, your constant lies. Look for answers in symbols and in yourself, this will help you discover the truth about the state of your affairs today.

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Lying is the informational influence of one person on another for the sake of immediate gain. At the same time, a lie has a negative impact in both directions at once; it harms both the liar himself and the people to whom it is directed. It is important to remember that sooner or later a liar begins to feel a sense of shame in front of the deceived person, and therefore lying has a negative impact on his physical and spiritual health.

Lying is a drug that a liar quickly gets used to. Each of us has heard the expression “pathological liar” and indeed some people, having started lying once, do it all their lives and cannot stop.

You can stop a series of lies quite easily - with the help of special magical rituals that will literally force a person to be honest.

How do psychological defensive reactions work?

Negation

  • I don't overeat, although I am overweight.
  • I am not addicted to cigarettes, although I smoke more than twenty a day.
  • I'm not an alcoholic, although I drink every day.

Such statements are simply a desperate attempt to deceive oneself by denying reality. Thanks to a psychological defense mechanism, we perceive them as an integral part of ourselves. That is why it is so difficult to notice the contradiction in them.

Rationalization

  • If only he had kept his promise, I wouldn't be angry with him.
  • If only I had a more sensitive and emotionally stable partner, I would be happy with the relationship.
  • If only I had more time, I would try myself in what I have been dreaming about for a long time.

We often justify inaction with phrases like these. But with this approach, decisions are based not on your actual beliefs, but on false premises.

Projections

  • You never listen to me, you don't care about our relationship.
  • You have too much ambition to start a family.
  • You spend too much time on your friends to value your relationships with other people.

This is how the brain makes us believe in an alternative reality. He is constantly looking for opportunities to shift the blame onto others and does not allow us to see that the problem is in us.

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