Your reactions to his reactions:
You say: “I love you”, he doesn’t believe it
It seems to him that you are just kidding. Convince him of this: give facts, be frank, explain, talk.
You confess with all sincerity your love for him. Him: “I love you too”
Don’t ask in detail why he didn’t immediately tell you about this. The main thing is your reciprocity. Seal it with real kisses.
Doesn't react at all and leaves (runs away)
Leave him alone, don't disturb him. Perhaps you shocked him. He needs to think about everything. If he decides something, he will return.
He says he has another one
You are in tears, your hands and knees are trembling. Calm down girl. There are many such cases. But tears and trembling are just an emotional flow. Come to terms with the words spoken. If you can, communicate with him. But don’t interfere in his life if he loves someone else...
You wrote him a detailed confession
He tore it without even reading it. Draw your own conclusions: do you need such a heartless “gentleman”? Such a person is cruel and ill-mannered.
He said you're not his type
You quietly began to hate the whole world. Don't despair and don't be upset. Over time, your heart will beat evenly as before. You see, the heart is not ordered. Those who tried lost.
Love story
Basically, a person asks a similar question at a moment of crossroads, when you love, but you are not. Should you follow your heart or the voice of your reason? The mind says that you don’t need a person who doesn’t have reciprocity for you, it demands that you find true love. You can be distracted by communicating with another man. Try your luck to become happy with another person. But the heart doesn’t want to accept anyone else.
At one time, I was in a similar situation. Over time, I started dating another guy. When I met him, I understood that, in all respects, building a future life with him would be much better, but my heart did not accept him and was drawn back to my ex. In an instant, I thought that I really fell in love with someone new. But, while immersing myself, I realized that I could not be with another. I'm deceiving myself that I fell in love with someone else. I rather impose feelings of love on myself than actually experience real feelings for the guy. Perhaps I was with a new guy in order to forget myself, not to be alone and wanting to feel love for myself. As a result... I understood that I loved a former young man, and with the current one I was covering up my weaknesses.
Yet, when I accepted the full awareness of what was happening, I had no choice left. I ended a new relationship. Surrendered to the will of fate. I may not be able to get married, but I’m not ready to lose my love for a person, even though it would be reasonable from some point of view. I don’t understand how you can love one person and languish in the arms of someone you don’t love. As for me, in love there should be no compromise in feelings, they either exist or they don’t.
My story ended successfully, and reciprocity returned. I got married. And talking about this topic with my husband, we come to certain conclusions.
We must not follow the lead of fear, but fight for sincere love ! If feelings are not reciprocated, then it must be so for some reason. Even if the outcome of events is unsuccessful, one cannot despair. You just haven't met the person who deserves your feelings yet.
Do you know how my friend confessed her love to her guy?
I came to him in my car with a cake and champagne, all so beautiful. How surprised he was! Usually men do this, but here... Guys are probably amazed by how girls like to break stereotypes. One of my friends suggested, as a joke, about three months ago, that we open an “association of stereotypic burglars.” This friend is also aware of my girlfriend’s actions. He admires her. Open. He says that he would dream that a girl would do such a thing to him. But the girls don’t dare. And the friend waits and hopes.
The friend who originally confessed her love is the wife of the one she loves. How lucky she is! Are you jealous? Change the color of envy from black to white. Repeat her feat. There can be any originality. It doesn't have to be repeated.
How to determine his feelings?
There is no need to panic and suffer from unrequited love. Does the guy really have no feelings? This is easy to verify!
- What is the man's look like? If he has feelings for a girl, then he will always pay attention to her. You can feel how he is constantly trying to find his beloved with his eyes;
- As a rule, in the presence of the object of sympathy, the male sex forgets about their courage, they behave shyly and are confused in their words;
- In order to make sure whether a guy has feelings, it is enough to make him jealous. You can flirt with another man in front of him and watch his reaction.
It is quite difficult to understand what feelings a man experiences. They, like no one else, know how to hide their emotions.
Original options to say you love
Options for “originality”:
- You are sitting in a cafe. You take a napkin, quietly write a confession on it and give it to your loved one. He will read it, look into your eyes and you will immediately understand everything.
- You are walking down the street in a group. You take him aside and take out a lighter from your purse that says “I love you.” The lighter can be very ordinary. What's written on it is more important.
- Buy a huge envelope (or make it yourself). Buy a nice card. On it, without leaving any empty space, write everything that you feel, experience and think. You can draw something if you want and think that you can draw beautifully. You can put the envelope under his door or place it carefully in the mailbox so that it doesn’t fall out.
- Buy markers. Use them to write a confession on a huge sheet of paper. Attach the sheet where he (your favorite) happens most often. You probably know all his habitats.
- Fill a common notebook in a square with poems and confessions. Write down everything you see. Give a notebook to your dear and loved one. He will read everything you wrote. And it will be preserved without throwing it away. But, before reading it, he will begin to be very surprised.
- The confession can also be written on a cigarette. Knowing in advance that he will ask you, her. Write about love on the “light” side of the cigarette. It is impossible not to notice him. He won't even light it.
- Write a hundred love letters. Sent them by email. If you don’t know the address, ask or find out somehow. Don’t say that you don’t know what to write about: love is a topic that you can write about endlessly.
- What to do? — Write a song dedicated to him, choose the chords. Sing it with a guitar in nature, on occasion. When you sing, tell who you dedicated it to. Don't be afraid or embarrassed to do it in front of everyone. You fell in love with this guy, right? If you love, then... go ahead.
Stop loving men so much, and they will be drawn to you!
Remember the immortal quote: “The less you love a man, the more he likes you”?
This is Pushkin Alexander Sergeevich :))
In principle, I am not a particular fan of wisdom expressed in poetry, but here the classic hit the mark. Well, you don’t have to love a man very much to like him . Much has been written about this, but important things need to be repeated several times.
So, to make it clearer to you what I'm talking about, I'm quoting a fairly standard letter without personal details and with modified text.
First part of the letter.
I love a man with all my soul. (I feel like saying, don’t do this) I do a lot for him and endure a lot. (No need !!)
If a man wants me to change, then I will definitely change. I try to get up early to cook for him. I work two jobs and do everything around the house. At the same time, I don't forget about my appearance. I maintain my weight and exercise. I try to be interesting and read something for this.
The relationship between us is constantly getting worse and worse. He finds more and more flaws in me that I need to correct. I try and improve. In principle, I no longer pretend to anything at all, although we have been living together for several years and I want to get married and have children.
He treats me worse and worse. In addition, he does not take care of his appearance, has grown a belly, etc.
The second part of the letter, the content of which varies from letter to letter.
But my friend, who is quite harsh with men, does not have half of my beauty, intelligence, etc., enjoys enormous success among men. Why??
Or as an option . In the end he left for another woman. (What a bastard) I saw this woman. She is significantly inferior to me in appearance, much less educated and does not at all try to bend to him. We can say that she treats him many times worse than I do. I don’t understand what he saw in her.
And at the end there is usually a question. What to do?
By the way, in consultations I am often asked why men don’t value a good relationship? Why does a girl (or woman) come to him with all her soul, everything is for him, and the result, as a rule, is the same. If you have a similar situation, it is relatively easy to change. We can discuss it in detail at the Consultation .
So what to do?
It seems obvious, I even wrote it in the title of the article and included a quote. Stop loving these guys so much and everything will work out.
Here I feel that a hail of righteous anger is beginning to rain down on me. How can you say that? You will soon say that men should not love women either. (I will not say :)))
Before you argue, answer yourself (not me) the question “Why do you love them (men) so much?” But before we answer, let's look at the facts.
Firstly, men love those women who simply really like them much more than those who are head over heels in love with them, run after them, don’t give them access, constantly call them, write letters, and even more so psychologically depend on them.
A person who knows life too little can argue with this statement. Men fall in love with women who are not in love with them. (or at least they know how to control external expressions of love) I wrote about this in detail in the book “Psychology of Men in Love” - I recommend reading it.
Men mostly marry those girls who like them, but who are not “head over heels” in love with them or who are psychologically dependent on them.
And the last thing . A happy long-term marriage is only possible not with a girl who is madly in love with a man.
Are there exceptions to this rule? Eat. They, however, are not caused by the fact that the rule does not work, but solely by the fact that, fortunately, there are not so many men who know how to notice a woman’s love. (Addiction, however, is something men always feel)
Very often during consultations, girls ask me why at the beginning of the relationship the man ran after them, and when the girl fell in love with him and began to show her feelings more actively, he began to literally shy away from her and avoid communication.
Secondly, the meaning of falling in love is not clear at all..
I often hear the phrase: “I can’t live without him.” (What a horror, I would have run away long ago)
So what? The girl definitely cannot live without water, air and a couple of dozen other things. None of the girls run around and fall in love with the air, for example, or water.
Imagine that one of your friends says: “I fell in love with air and water. I can’t live without them.” (Ugh, how stupid).
It’s no less stupid to fall deeply in love with a man!
Well, what if “I can’t live without a man,” you ask? So in the language of psychologists this is called addiction. Well, there is alcohol addiction, and if one of the girls cannot live without a specific man, then this is psychological addiction.
There’s nothing wrong with this, of course, but it’s also nothing to be particularly proud of. Well, some girl can’t live without a specific man, then it’s better to remain silent about it.
A situation is 100 times better when you can live without a specific man, but he cannot live without you. Yes, even that is in question. Well, some guy will stick to you so much that it’s impossible to get him away, what’s good about that?
So, it seems to me that you have almost agreed with me that falling deeply in love with a man is an absolutely unnecessary matter and, at best, something like a harmless addiction (for example, like an addiction to coffee).
We don't need such dependence. It’s better for a man to love you, for him to always like you, etc. How to make a man always be in love with you, I have written many times. I recommend reading the articles in the “Psychology of Men” section. I described in detail in my book “19 Mistakes with Men. How can you make him respect and love you?” In this article I will tell you briefly what you need to do to have a man kiss your feet, give you diamonds, flowers every day, etc.? Well, at least not every day, but every other day
