Is it possible to love two women at the same time?
According to anthropologists, every man is essentially an alpha male, which means, a priori, polygamous. History knows many examples of polygamous families, and in the current culture of many nations, polygamy is considered the norm. On TV screens, stars shock the public with multiple love affairs, and the West is ready to completely abolish the institution of marriage. What was considered reprehensible 25 years ago is today cultivated and encouraged. The monogamous man has become an endangered species, while the freedom everyone desires is thriving. Is it good? Are there many truly happy families and children today? The freedom that everyone so stood up for is taking on truly ugly forms, and now we only read about what true love is in books.
Psychology calls ambivalent feelings a sign of infantility, and a person who cannot make up his mind and is not ready to take responsibility for his words and feelings is immature. It is family psychologists and psychotherapists who have to work with numerous depressions and treat broken hearts as a consequence of love triangles. Destructive relationships in which a man is attached to two women bring a lot of pain to all participants in such a relationship.
How to avoid getting caught in men's networks3
What prompts a man to cheat was described above, but how to avoid betrayal from a loved one is a serious question. From ordinary experience, we can say that to maintain a relationship you need mutual understanding, common interests and regular hot sex. A girl who agreed to sex after the first date, but before that there were fascinating conversations on general topics and emotional understanding of each other, has a higher chance of not being betrayed. As sex moves into a deeper connection, the relationship will strengthen and develop.
The secret of long and honest relationships lies in mutual understanding and trust. Or, which is also not caustic, in crazy sex. In such sex that the man seems to adore the woman, but does not experience deep feelings and at the same time does not want to go to the left.
How can a man love two women at the same time?
1. When you can’t, but really want to, is it possible? Spoiled children don't know the word "impossible." Growing up, such children become adults who follow their own desires, often to the detriment of the feelings of others. The current mentality of consumerism, under the motto “get everything from life,” has imperceptibly penetrated into the area of emotions. Therefore, a man, having strong feelings for one woman, can at the same time be carried away by a second, only because he was unable to say “no” to himself in time. Reinforced by the approval of friends, the realization that this happens all the time, a man allows himself to love two people because he wants and can. A selfish nature does not care about the suffering of others or matters of morality.
2. Love for fish As one wise Jew said, today's love between a man and a woman is the love for fish. We can love fish very much. Buy the most expensive varieties. Eat it every day, enjoying the taste. And if the fish is not tasty, throw it in the trash without a twinge of conscience. How similar this is to modern love relationships! As long as the partners are suitable for each other, satisfy each other's requirements, the relationship looks flawless. When the novelty and brightness of feelings is lost, and a new object for sighing appears on the horizon, superficial feelings, “love for fish,” do not stand the test, and the man has a second passion, a third, and so on. Often, a man can be in relationships with several women without being tormented by remorse.
3. Be like everyone else The fashion for fidelity, no matter how rude it may sound, has sunk into oblivion along with chastity and black and white cinema. Today it is considered not only decent, but worthy of respect, to be in a relationship with two or more partners. For some reason, there are no more happy women from this.
4. Complexes In the psychology of men, there are a whole bunch of complexes. And most of them can lead to the fact that a relationship with one woman will not be enough for a man. Psychologists are trying to explain whether a man can love two women at once.
What to do if you love two people?
Sooner or later you will have to choose. It's painful, unpleasant, but the sooner you make a decision, the better it will be for you. Don't give in to emotions, think sensibly. Passion, feelings, good intimacy are, of course, great, but look at each of your chosen ones from the other side. How independent and responsible is he? Can you rely on him in difficult situations? If, for example, you have to provide for your family or make important decisions on your own, it is unlikely that you will be able to preserve your feelings.
Often women love men who are opposite in temperament. One is rude and brutal, the second is kind and affectionate. Only you can choose which one will be more comfortable for you. Look far ahead - with which of your loved ones do you agree to legalize the relationship and have children? Another important point is relationships with the opposite sex and a tendency to cheat. It is stupid to make a choice in favor of a loving man who is unlikely to suddenly become monogamous.
There is a very interesting phrase: “When you truly love, you don’t choose.” If you are still struggling with a choice, maybe your feelings for both men are not real, and you have not yet met your one and only?
Why does a man date two people at the same time? Psychology of men
From a psychological point of view, a mature, confident man will not maintain relationships with several women at once. Destructive relationships that involve at least three people can be caused by a number of psychological problems in the man.
Napoleon complex
As you know, the French emperor was short, and tried to compensate for this shortcoming with great victories. Men will try to cover any of their real or imaginary shortcomings with achievements in another area. It’s sad, but often this area becomes precisely the love front. In search of new doses of admiration and approval, he will make more and more “victories”, regardless of their cost.
David complex
An aging man wants to regain his youth, for this he contacts a younger woman. Continuing to love his wife, he cannot deny himself a new, blood-intoxicating feeling and commits betrayal.
Ideal complex
There are a number of men who, due to their upbringing or other characteristics, are always in search of an ideal. Having found some semblance of their ideas, they enter into a relationship, but continue to search. Often, “for comparison,” they can date two women at once, unable to decide which of the chosen ones is more worthy of him.
Rejection complex
Having once experienced the pain of parting, a break in a relationship, such men always have an “alternate airfield” so that in the event of a quarrel with one woman, he has someone to console himself with.
So, without justifying the ability to love two women at the same time, the psychology of men nevertheless provides a logical explanation for this phenomenon.
Is it possible to love two? Polygamy. Monogamy. Psychology. What do psychologists think?
How it all ends2
Working on two fronts is like a story about two birds with one stone; if you chase both girls, you can end up without stable sex at all. Sooner or later, the woman on the side begins to put pressure on the man, tries to manipulate him and in every possible way turns him against his wife or cohabitant. Uncertainty is scary in every sense, so girls also often crave stability and want to be the only one for their chosen ones.
What should the average man do in such a situation? Yes, it’s very simple - leave the girl, cut off all ties with her and never communicate again. It’s difficult to call this the act of a real man, but at least it’s effective.
In another situation, it may be that connections on the side come true and a man living, for example, with his wife, finds himself thrown out. Or the wife leaves on her own. Cheating is a serious reason for separation, since breaking fidelity to another person is mean and base.
These situations have one thing in common - the decisions always remain with the women, that is, the man just spins around in these circumstances and always waits to see how it all ends. Therefore, when a man says that he controls everything, this is just an illusion generated by the inner ego.
What should a man do if he has feelings for two women at the same time?
Research shows that most often monogamous men come from strong families where parents loved and respected each other. Seeing how happy mom and dad were, finding support in each other in any situation, the young man will look for the love of his life, and will certainly find it. After all, love is something that we build on our own, putting in a lot of effort, in sorrow and in joy, in wealth and poverty. But the crippled mentality of modern society leads to the fact that a man can come to his senses only when he feels that he loves both women and is not ready to part with either. Ideally, this should not happen. There is no need to rush into choosing a love object. And having chosen, making sure that the feelings are mutual, you need to build relationships with love and patience, and not look for a “better option.”
If, after all, a love triangle has developed, you definitely need to find the optimal way out of it.
A man needs to understand where true love is and where passion or infatuation is. In this matter, the ancient Greeks can come to the rescue, who several thousand years ago found out that love comes in three types:
1. Filio – friendly love, mutual understanding, community of interests.
2. Agape is pure maternal/fatherly love, unconditional love, sacrificial love.
3. Eros is physical love, carnal, earthly passion, infatuation, desire.
It is believed that true love must include all three components. However, today, having felt only one of them, more often the third, people believe that this is enough. A man needs to be extremely honest with himself and admit that loving two women is not normal. Next, you need to analyze which of the women he feels the deepest feeling for, with whom he has complete mutual understanding, for whom he is, if necessary, willing to give his life, whom he loves unconditionally. There will be difficult conversations and the pain of parting, but as a result, it will be better for everyone.
Conclusion
Today there are many different interpretations on the topic “can a man love two women.” Most of them firmly defend a man's right to free love. But deep down in the soul of every person, regardless of fashion trends, there lives the need for true love. By working on oneself and developing one's personality, anyone can acquire the strong character of a responsible person, capable of loyalty and love.
Carolina Korableva
About the author: Hello! I am Karolina Korableva. I live in the Moscow region, in the city of Odintsovo. I love life and people. I try to be realistic and optimistic in life. What I value in people is their ability to behave. I am interested in psychology, in particular conflictology. Graduated from RGSU, Faculty of Occupational Psychology and Special Psychology.
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