What makes a person happy and allows him to live in harmony with himself? Probably everyone will answer this question in their own way. After all, everyone has their own dreams and aspirations, but absolutely everyone can confirm that love is one of the fundamental pillars of our lives. We are social creatures and therefore strive to gain support and understanding, love and devotion. And many believe that life is created so that we can help and satisfy the demands of loved ones. But in fact, we are all unique and individual. Man is created for a happy life, in which he must value himself first! Surely every girl draws an ideal picture in her dreams and repeats like a spell: “I want to love and be loved”!
Loneliness: fact or far-fetched stereotype
Many ladies tend to dramatize life circumstances and see everything in dark colors. Comparing themselves with other women, they begin to “gain” complexes and acquire fears. After all, someone always seems happier and more attractive. Is this really so? You can't judge a person without knowing him. The girl begins to make attempts to get closer to the opposite sex and sometimes can actually fail. But this does not mean at all that she is doomed.
The problem is precisely in the attitude to the situation - a fanatical desire for a goal and non-acceptance of defeat lead to deep depression. You shouldn’t get hung up on it, you need to understand yourself first. What are you willing to do to make your life flow in a different direction? You need to start changing your habitual attitude towards yourself. How will this help? The answer is obvious - the phrase “I want to love and be loved” will no longer be an unattainable goal for you!
Love yourself
Our personality consists of thousands of fragments that determine our life, attitude towards ourselves and others. And if a woman was once told that she is unworthy of love, this stereotype will affect her entire fate. Psychologists say that love is a psycho-emotional reflection of the integrity of the individual himself. That is, all feelings are already inside us. And when we meet a worthy person, we share with him our emotions that we initially felt about ourselves. And here is the answer - if you have never loved yourself, can you give this feeling to another? Of course not! A person who is deeply complex and “offended” cannot attract another. After all, the man he likes is also looking for a person he can trust. But can a lady who does not admire herself, who does not value her qualities, captivate him? You need to learn to express your emotions and love that fragile and offended person who lives inside you. Allow yourself to be free and open to the new and unknown. Get to know your soul, and then the phrase “I want love and to be loved” will not turn into an obsession, but will be embodied in a new happy life.
How to become a happy and loved woman?
A woman becomes happy at any stage of her life. And if she finds a man who loves, respects and appreciates her, then she also becomes loved. To achieve this, you need:
- Surround yourself with happy people. Distinguish truly happy people from those who are supposed to be happy or are trying to be (pretend to be) happy.
- Build relationships only with the man who makes you happy. If you suffer, don’t love, don’t feel loved, etc., you need to break off this relationship. They definitely won't give you anything good.
- Do interesting things. Get involved in what really interests you.
- Go your own way. Each person has his own path in this life. Allow yourself to be who you are and live the way you want. This will make you happier than a life where you live the way other people tell you.
3 secrets of female happiness:
- No rules!
“Don’t call first!”, “Be late for a date!”, “Don’t put up so as not to seem weak!” - all these and many other rules were invented by people. But think honestly, do you like it when someone is late for a date or tries to be mysterious without revealing their soul to you? Perhaps among teenagers such games seem exciting, but they are interfering factors in building strong relationships.
There is no sexier woman who is not ashamed to be herself, to be alive, sincere and real. Make a list of your rules and think about whether they helped you build strong and happy relationships. If not, then discard them. Be honest, open and sincere.
- No complaints about your past life!
The main mistake that many women make is complaining about the past. “Why did I become so bad?”, “How everyone offended me!”, “I have such problems with people!” etc. - all this only pushes the man away from you. It doesn’t matter to him what bad things happened to you, because every person has their own sad stories. It is much more interesting to listen to something good and pleasant, rather than your tearful complaints. You don’t need to tell men about your past boyfriends, otherwise soon these gentlemen will become your exes.
- No to the ideal man!
Every woman has an image of an ideal man whom she would like to see next to her. But have you ever thought about how real this image is? Can the kind of man you dream about even exist in the real world?
Many ideal images of men are collected from fairy tales and love stories. There men live in a different world, in different living conditions. But this is not taken into account when a woman lives in reality, but demands that her man look like a fairy-tale character. If you were in a fairy tale, then your dream would come true. But understand that you live in the real world, which dictates its terms of the game to men. But because you don’t understand this, by demanding a “fairy-tale prince”, you deprive yourself of the happiness of creating a strong relationship with a real man from your reality. Therefore, give up the image of the ideal man. Create a different image of a loved one who can live in the world in which you live.
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Internal restrictions
Very often, girls themselves program future failures. They believe that they are unworthy of such a wonderful feeling as love and devotion. Ladies begin to feel like victims of circumstances and evil rock. Creating close relationships, each time they ask themselves the question of whether they are worthy of their chosen one? Will they succeed, or will they fail again?
Men are drawn to such women, who sense their attitude towards them, begin to behave with them as if they were victims, and allow themselves to commit cruel acts and betrayals. After all, she deserves it if she herself accepted such a situation. And when you repeat to yourself: “I want to be loved,” you yourself don’t believe it. Change your attitude towards life, stop feeling sorry for the “girl” inside you. Be proud that you are unique and inimitable. And only such behavior will make you attractive to the opposite sex.
Fear of pain and new disappointment
Everyone has failures and disappointments in life, but some are able to “get up” and move on, while others feed their pain every day. A whole drama arises in life, the girl constantly replays the situation in which she was deceived. She ends up blaming herself for everything! He is looking for reasons for the breakup and begins to fear experiencing a new tragedy in his personal life. This state of affairs leads to the fact that the lady is afraid to let a new person into her heart.
It seems to her that in this way she protects herself from pain. Doubts overcome and subjugate the will; a woman may start dating a guy, but at the first opportunity she runs away and hides in her “shell”. You say to yourself: “I want my loved one to be near,” but you yourself are looking for reasons to accuse him of lying or treason. In such a situation, you need to forgive the person who offended you and yourself. There is no need to hold onto anger and rage. The world is imperfect and so are the people around you. So maybe we should stop leaving the house? Allow yourself to move on with your life, start communicating more and expressing your feelings openly.
How to become loved and desired by a man?
And the trick is that a man is not needed in this scheme. We're not talking about all sorts of orientations now, don't think about it. We mean that in this chain the starting and ending point is the woman herself, who wants to be desired and loved... by herself. It is she herself who wants, clear as day, to always know that she is beautiful, magical! So delightful and ideal that you are loved and desired a priori at any second of your life.
But she is unaware that the source of this feeling of herself can only be herself. And the rest (the rest, and even the rest) will follow. And so she begins to push a man into this scheme “I give recognition to Me” - real or ephemeral, imagining that the scheme “A man gives recognition to Me” works better. And all this doesn’t work at all without self-love.
Moreover, such a scheme drives you into a tenacious and oppressive dependence. There is a “loving” object - alive! No - that’s it, it’s screwed, life is gray, dull and the end is near. Hence there are so many victims clinging to the legs of “don’t leave.” And a proportionate number of tyrants who cannot help but tyranny if such an obsessive victim is nearby.
There's no need to rush
Many girls are simply obsessed with the fear of loneliness. They are afraid of not having time to find their one and only and begin to see him in any representative of the opposite sex. Such an obsessive state pushes one to express one’s emotions in an aggressive form. Her slogan becomes the expression “I want to love and be loved here and right now.” A woman strives to get a man in any way. It seems to her that if he leaves, she will remain alone forever.
This state of affairs leads to total control of the chosen one. Constant conversations about relationships, quarrels over any issue. Of course, such behavior repels men; they do not want to submit and do not want to be “conquered.” The gentlemen feel that you have already decided everything for him, and this is unacceptable. Everyone should have a choice. Naturally, such a relationship will lead to a break. No matter how trivial it may sound, it is necessary to completely let go of the situation, to some extent even switch to other concerns. Show yourself as an independent and independent person. It is women who are a little shy about relationships that are very attractive to men.
“I will become your beloved and desired,” I told myself. And it did!
But the acquisition of inner love for oneself will certainly be reflected at first simply by the fact that relationships with people will begin to warm up. Then life situations will certainly begin to develop in such a way that people will appear who want to bask in the rays of love that you broadcast like the sun. Moreover, these people who wish will shine the light themselves regularly, and not beg. After all, you yourself have already moved to a higher level. If the object has already been chosen, then it will reflect back to you your love and acceptance of yourself, with ardent passion and desire to be near you.
By the way, more spiritually mature people, who have been practicing this in life for a long time, often find joy in living alone altogether. This is not asceticism or escapism. This is self-sufficiency. Such people are not interested in feelings out of need. The swing of emotions is alien, when from euphoria “how I love you!” It’s natural to fall into the torment of “you don’t love me!” Such a person is so comfortable, interesting and comfortable with himself, he is so capable of filling his space with himself that he does not need anyone’s outside confirmation of his coolness, desirability and attractiveness. Although he has a dime a dozen of these confirmations.
But when such a person meets a person who is in tune with himself, it is like the merging of two stars! This is a meeting of two powerful Souls in bodily form. And this is no longer compensation for the shortage. Not a confirmation of one another, but an increase in the power of love and light. These unions are truly grandiose and are now occurring more and more often.
The thirst for love is like the desire to drink. If there is no life-giving moisture, a person is ready to beg for it in any way. Coming into discord with your own Soul. And if there is always a clean source nearby, the need is completely satisfied. And there is a shift in the focus of attention from this to other aspects of an interesting and diverse life. After all, loving yourself and everything around you becomes as natural as breathing. In addition, this inner love blissfully infuses everything with which a person comes into contact. How can you not be drawn to something like this, how can you not love him?
Right now, from this minute, start treating yourself the way you want others to treat you. Do you dream of becoming loved and desired? Notice your awesomeness and fabulous attractiveness at any convenient moment. Say to yourself the words that you would like to be spoken to you, no matter how ridiculous it may seem to you at first. Don't worry, you're guaranteed to be too far away from narcissism to worry about it. But accustoming yourself to warm, inspired, and even ardent, passionate looks (in the mirror. Why not?), to gentle gestures and words, will give amazing results. Many admit that they simply did not allow such manifestations to occur to themselves. So where can they come from externally if they are banned internally??
Are you ready for love
Sometimes a situation arises when a girl is very eager for a relationship, dreams of her chosen one, and when it comes to real romantic encounters, she understands that she is not ready yet. Analyze the situation to see if you can change your life and let another person into it. Listen to yourself, how you will feel and whether you can make compromises for the sake of your loved one. A relationship is a complex interaction between two people, and harmony and understanding can only be achieved through daily and painstaking work. If you don't want to get rid of your inner complexes and fears, how will you build an ideal relationship in which you will find happiness? So decide for yourself whether the magical phrase “I want to love and be loved” will become the vital truth of life or will remain in dreams.
Striving for love and new feelings is so natural and wonderful. Love brings us feelings of happiness and security, gives us harmony with the world around us and pushes us to do wonderful things. So why not help yourself and try to put aside fears and unnecessary concerns? It is known that inaction leads to nothing. Make your dream come true - and then you won’t have to just dream and repeat in your mind: “I want to be desired and loved,” you will become like that in reality!
