A pedant is a neat, restrained and judicious formalist who lives in strict accordance with his ideas about order and strictly follows them, regardless of external factors. Anankasty (hard pedants) are more common among the population of Northern Europe. Pedantry is especially characteristic of residents of Germany. The whole world knows their desire for order. In Russia, the phenomenon of pedantry is less common, but people who live according to strict laws, are “packed” in order and demand this from others are not uncommon.
Pedant in psychology
Pedantry in psychology is understood as the presence of such qualities in a person as strict adherence to formalities, unquestioning adherence to rules, meticulousness, accuracy, accuracy. Accentuation is a term that characterizes enhanced character traits in which a person’s behavior is considered a variant of the norm. The pedant is protected by his need for orderliness, but can come under attack if events suddenly change.
The desire for universal order, which has passed into the stage of pathology, deprives a person of the opportunity to distinguish the small and insignificant in life from the primary and important. In such a state, the patient can spend unlimited time doing useless and empty activities that require effort.
Is perfectionism the secret to success or a disease?
“In hell for perfectionists there is neither brimstone nor fire, but only slightly asymmetrically chipped cauldrons”
Perfectionism is a buzzword.
I often hear, my friend, how young people with dark circles under their eyes from fatigue proudly say about themselves: “I am a perfectionist.”
They seem to say it with pride, but I don’t hear any enthusiasm.
I propose for reflection the thesis that perfectionism is more likely evil than good. Specifically, a nervous disorder.
And secondly, what could be an alternative to perfectionism?
Wikipedia: Perfectionism - in psychology, the belief that an ideal can and should be achieved. In pathological form, it is the belief that an imperfect result of work has no right to exist. Perfectionism is also the desire to remove everything “unnecessary” or make an “uneven” object “smooth.”
It is human nature to strive for success.
In this sense, perfectionism encourages working hard to achieve results.
As a driving force, this is quite a useful quality, the fictional positive psychologist-perfectionist in my head tells me.
I agree. Now, my friend, the dark side of the moon:
- Perfectionism is characterized by large time expenditures (not so much on developing a solution, but on polishing it).
- As well as energy costs (doubts, doubts, doubts).
- Denial of reality (rejection of the idea that the ideal result may not be achieved).
- Closedness from feedback.
- Fear of failure = worry and high levels of anxiety.
I understand perfectionists well, because for many years I proudly positioned myself as a workaholic perfectionist.
I started my career in marketing, and this is simply the source of a pandemic of perfectionism (especially the part related to visual communications - who knows, he will understand).
Benefits: quality products (website, articles, design solutions).
Disadvantages: work 15 hours a day, lack of personal life, constant feeling of anxiety, lack of opportunity to develop through feedback.
And then I discovered the concept of optimalism (author Ben-Shahar), accepted it, and offer it to you for thought.
An optimalist also works hard as a perfectionist. The key difference is that an optimalist knows how to stop in time.
The optimalist chooses and implements not the ideal, but the optimal - the best, the most favorable under the current set of conditions.
Not ideal, but a sufficient level of quality.
Sufficient does not mean low. Sufficient means, within the framework of the current task, an A+ without striving for an A+.
The same Ben-Shahar offers comparative characteristics of two types:
- Perfectionist – the path is a straight line, fear of failure, focus on the goal, “all or nothing”, defensive position, error seeker, strict, conservative.
- Optimalist - the path is like a spiral, failure is like feedback, concentration incl. on the way to the goal, open to advice, seeker of advantages, easily adaptable.
' "“A good plan executed with lightning speed today is much better than a perfect plan for tomorrow." General George Patton
So, my principle of anti-perfectionism:
optimal is the best solution within given conditions in a limited time.
For example, I write a creative work. I have a topic, I set a goal. I give myself 60 minutes to write. Another 30 minutes for adjustments (usually, after a couple of hours, “insights” catch up with me). That's all. He did it quickly and efficiently, in the best possible way within the scope of the task and within the allotted time, and moved on.
Recommendations:
- Determine the desired result that will satisfy you
- Determine the ideal result. Tell me, why do you need to bring a satisfactory result to the ideal? What are the benefits?
- Throw away the excess
- Set a deadline for completion
- Take action!
Another example to think about:
About a year ago I took a course in oratory skills, and as a result took part in an oratorical tournament.
Because I really invested in the process and achieving the result, I performed brilliantly according to the judges.
And here’s the paradox - the feedback from the judges is enthusiastic, but they vote for my opponents, who performed objectively weaker.
I won the tournament. With high energy consumption.
I ask my mentor, “How is it that the feedback says “everything is cool, fire,” but they don’t vote?
“You perform so perfectly that it annoys people,” Coach tells me.
Like this.
And finally, a few examples:
Thomas Edison, who registered 1,093 patents - including patents for the light bulb, phonograph, and telegraph. When it was pointed out to him that he had failed dozens of times while working on his inventions, Edison replied: “I have not had any failures. I just found ten thousand ways that don’t work.”
What if Edison was a perfectionist? It might have been a light bulb that was a century ahead of its time. And only a light bulb. Sometimes quantity is important, not quality.
Michael Jordan, one of the greatest athletes of our time: “I missed over nine thousand times in my career. Lost in almost three hundred competitions. Twenty-six times I was handed the ball for the game-winning shot and missed. All my life I have failed over and over again. And that’s why I was successful.”
What if Jordan waited for the perfect set of circumstances to make his shot every time? The best place to wait for such a confluence of circumstances is on the bench. Sometimes it is better to make even a seemingly hopeless attempt than to wait for the ideal.
One man, aged twenty-two, lost his job. A year later, he tried his luck in politics, running for a seat in the state legislature, and lost. Then he tried his hand at business - without success. At the age of twenty-seven he suffered a nervous breakdown. But he recovered, and at the age of thirty-four, having gained some experience, he ran for Congress. Lost. Five years later the same thing happened again. Not at all discouraged by failure, he raises the bar even higher and, at the age of forty-six, tries to be elected to the Senate. When this idea failed, he nominated himself for the post of vice president, and again unsuccessfully. Ashamed of decades of professional failure and defeat, he runs again for the Senate on the eve of his fiftieth birthday and fails. But two years later this man becomes President of the United States. His name was Abraham Lincoln.
What if Lincoln was a perfectionist? Most likely, the first failure would have been a knockout for him. A perfectionist is afraid of failure, an optimalist knows how to rise after failure.
And, of course, in memory, many Microsoft software products that were released “raw”, “unfinished”, caused a lot of criticism. But they came out before their competitors. And they were refined in the process, including based on feedback from dissatisfied users. But Bill Gates is a different story.
To summarize:
Optimal - the best solution within given conditions in a limited time. This, my friend, is enough to achieve success.
PS: It also seems that a whole generation of procrastinating perfectionists has appeared, they will do everything perfectly, but not today, but tomorrow - have you ever met such people?
Causes
The origins of pedantry must be sought in childhood. Strict home order, demanding parents, a busy daily routine, and lack of free time for games drive the baby into an invisible framework. Having matured, the child begins to artificially create restrictions.
Children's fears, feelings of vulnerability and insecurity are the second type of formation of pedantry. Total control over life can arise from serious illnesses in childhood or violence.
READ Low self-esteem: manifestations, symptoms and levels
Advantages and disadvantages of personality
Beyond the outward signs of pedantry, there are business and strategic aspects. A strict distinction between the pros and cons of the formalist character would be inappropriate.
Rational pedantry, put in the service of orderly actions, achieving goals, home organization, quality work and raising children, can be considered a useful character trait. Advantages:
- the desire to always complete the work started;
- conscientiousness;
- accuracy and thoroughness in everything;
- detailed study of information;
- diligence;
- conservatism;
- clear order and consistency;
- meeting deadlines for completing assignments;
- responsibility for the result;
- reliability;
- precision in detail.
The value of the listed qualities plays into the hands of lawyers, accountants, and clerks. An organized workspace, a sequence of actions, and achieving goals contribute to business success, career growth, and a good reputation.
Flaws:
- indecision;
- self-criticism;
- imposing one’s ideas about the order of things on others;
- internal tension without objective reasons, which can reduce the results of life activity;
- delaying the completion of tasks when providing a choice of methods;
- tediousness;
- making excessive demands on others;
- excessive scrupulousness;
- for a woman who has built her life according to “rules”, any person from the outside world becomes an intruder, bringing chaos;
- isolation, small social circle.
Experts believe that healthy pedantry has a positive meaning in childhood, but parents should monitor their offspring for the development of certain qualities that threaten to turn into paranoia.
Why perfectionism is dangerous: consequences
Treating perfectionism is important because it can not only cause problems in life, but also lead to some mental disorders. Why is he dangerous? The thing is that while a person is trying to achieve the ideal, he ultimately does not get pleasure if the result is not exactly the same. Ultimately, even successes are disappointing because they could have done better.
This leads to constant emotional discomfort. Accordingly, the perfectionist becomes less productive. Feelings of fatigue, anxiety and hopelessness increase. Since a person is constantly stressed, for this reason he develops headaches, feels weak and his chronic diseases may worsen. In difficult cases, nervous breakdown or depression occurs.
Every person who is a perfectionist is overly sensitive to criticism. So he treats even praise with caution. It often happens that a person remains lonely because he makes excessive demands.
Differences from a perfectionist
The similarity of the characters of a pedantic person and a perfectionist makes them similar in perception to outsiders. These concepts are often confused, since differences in characteristics can only be identified through a detailed analysis of the personality. The world for the formalist is order. Peace for a perfectionist means striving for the ideal.
Main differences in behavior:
- Self-esteem for a perfectionist depends entirely on the recognition of others and is demonstrative in nature. It is important for a pedant not to deviate from his internal code of beliefs.
- The result of the action. To satisfy the pedant, it is enough to know that he did everything in accordance with his rules. It is difficult to say the same about a perfectionist who will torment himself because of one judgmental look from his environment.
- Idea. The pedant is far from following dogmas, little things and order are above all. A perfectionist must strictly adhere to the generally accepted standard.
- Ideal. The conservatism of a pedant does not make him a hostage to the search for new solutions; a simple approach is his credo. A perfectionist, in order to meet the standard, is ready to endure difficulties and suffer from doubts, but will still achieve the goal in a non-standard way.
The desire to create around oneself strict conformity with personal principles distinguishes a pedant from other people.
Psychological reasons for perfectionism - why does it manifest itself?
Where does perfectionism come from?
At the moment, psychologists have not yet fully studied how this condition manifests itself and how exactly to treat perfectionism. The main idea is that a person develops all this from childhood, because he is in the same social environment.
Moreover, this also applies to the methods used in education. There are many of them, but two are most powerful:
- Creating a landmark without a clear goal
Let's say a mother says that she would like a son like her friend. Of course, the child tries to strive for perfection and earn love, but he doesn’t understand at all what’s wrong with him - the hairstyle is wrong, the character is wrong, or what? The child’s psyche breaks down because he tries to be the best in everything and every failure is taken seriously.
- Imposing your own value system
Dad tells his daughter that she made a great doll, and a minute later mom tells her about crooked bows and the wrong fabric on the dress. The child gets upset and tries to please his mother, whose expectations are too high. Such parents raise wonderful perfectionists.
You may be surprised, but there are significantly more perfectionists among modern children and teenagers than among past generations. Here, various advertisements also have a great influence, for example, it is proposed to make a genius out of a child or teach him to speak at two years old. And so, as soon as it is learned that the child’s vocabulary is small, it declines in the eyes of the parents. And he needs love. This ultimately leads to the development of destructive perfectionism. And he enters adult life with constant tension, fear of making mistakes, high standards and an inability to accept criticism.
Communication features
It is difficult for a formalist to admit that people live according to individual standards. He considers his rules to be unshakable, and openly or internally shows dissatisfaction when deviations from the “original standards” are detected. Boredom drives such a person into loneliness, which further intensifies the conflict with the outside world.
READ What is envy, the reasons for its occurrence and ways to get rid of it
But indecision also plays a positive role in communication, since such a person is non-conflict. The necessary words that were necessary in the dispute come to mind after the skirmish is left behind. Knowing this, the pedant refrains from sorting things out, but on the condition that his fundamental foundations are not violated.
Perfectionism in neurosis: features
Neurotic perfectionism
There is such a term as neurotic perfectionism. When it occurs, people focus on mistakes and failures, they become anxious and ashamed. They are always afraid of being a failure, and even if everything works out, they do not feel pleasure from it. Moreover, they are overly self-critical. At the same time, with this form many disorders appear. It is clear that perfectionism should be treated in this case.
And it's not just for these reasons. The fact is that this condition affects different aspects of a person’s life. He has an unstable emotional state, it is difficult for him to build relationships, and his productivity is somewhat different. Increased anxiety can cause depression, suicidal tendencies, neurosis, and shame. Such people are too afraid that they will seem bad to others, that they will fail or be disgraced.
By the way, this behavior can contribute to the development of cardiovascular diseases at a young age. A person does not give himself any right to make a mistake, relying on the fact that he can be condemned. This fear is so strong that it leads to the abandonment of the goal or makes it impossible to achieve it. Psychologists also call this condition “paralysis of activity.” A person simply avoids situations where the bar is high.
If you find yourself exhibiting neurotic perfectionism, try to set achievable goals. For example, do not immediately strive to become a boss, but start as a simple worker.
