How to stop loving a girl you love very much: advice from a psychologist


I can't stop loving my ex

True empathy is the ability to put yourself in another person's shoes. I help men in breakup situations because I went through these problems myself. My personal story began from a moment when it was scary to be alone in a room. After all, after a minute thoughts about her come flooding in, after five minutes you’re drowning in memories, and after ten you’re ready to lie at your ex’s feet and beg for forgiveness. You grab onto everything to distract yourself, but the food is tasteless, everyone kisses in the movies, and the games are not interesting.

Thoughts of separation are a prison of the past

After a breakup, a man feels locked in a cage: memories in a circle, the same gray days and no brightness ahead. During the day there is still nothing at work, but towards evening I feel either anger or fear, from which I want to run away. The man runs either to write pitiful messages to his beloved, or to complain to his loved ones. When the balance of significance is completely overwhelmed, he immediately breaks in with a bouquet and a ring, offering eternal obedience to the lady of his heart. He is also angry with the woman: she didn’t appreciate her, she betrayed her, she went to Vaska. Stop! It’s better not to think about Vasily, fantasies about their pranks with your beloved will lead to sin.

I know that in a state of crushed spring poop, you will not be able to earn your first million and make her fall in love again. I won’t offer you this nonsense. I’ll just show you where to run and how to channel your anger. You cannot get out of love addiction at this second, but right now you are able to pick up the snot and start living.

Stop loving a woman through the body

You might think that I would advise you to fuck everything that moves. It won't work. Sex is not a back-and-forth movement, but an emotional frenzy. Now your sensual part is clogged with your former passion. Towards new ladies you will be as cold as a corpse. The body will not give you the necessary hormones, or maybe the main caliber will not come into combat position at all. Lack of response to women will drop your self-esteem below the basement and you will rush to sob into your ex’s skirt. Drive away bad advisers - don’t run after new asses, they don’t heal.

Crying over your ex isn't that bad. You can smear the tears of love suffering on your cheeks - that means your hands are still able to move. Use movement as a source of emotion: start training. Run to the gym and work out until you get tired. Fatigue is your friend, it releases endorphins - internal painkillers that help you fall asleep.

Aching biceps is better than a broken heart

When my girlfriend left me, I moved my workouts to the time before bed, because I couldn’t fall asleep otherwise. Then I started eating - my overloaded body required nutrition. A little later, anger at the pitiful self gave rise to the first joy - sports results. Aching muscles also helped. A person can experience a limited amount of pain: the body gets tired and no longer allows the brain to suffer.

Stop loving a girl using new emotions

Body dependence is not the basis, otherwise you would consider everyone you slept with as an ex. In such a situation, all men would do is take a taxi to different addresses with bouquets in their hands. Butterfly girls, fluttering around their partners like flowers in a meadow, would be delighted with such an amount of attention. Unfortunately for them and fortunately for us, a person falls in love with emotions, and not with specific parts of the body or their combinations. More often they remember not sex with their beloved, but moments of tenderness, common adventures and cozy evenings watching a TV series.

Sniffles again? Blow your nose, go to the gym and return to the article. If you’re too lazy to exercise, you can run and howl under her window. The girl will hear the love songs of the abandoned dog, remember why she abandoned you and treat you with a bucket of slop on your head. Streams of selected shit flowing down your cheeks will sober you up and help you perceive information more carefully.

Anger as a cure for love

Now is the time to remember Vasily: the emotion of anger towards your ex will give you the strength to switch to your own life. Don’t get carried away by fantasies about their horizontal games, otherwise you’ll have to run to the gym a second time. Concentrate on understanding that a woman is enjoying life while you are suffering. When you understand that suffering is your choice, find an opportunity to receive emotions from another source.

If you want to stop loving your ex, change your environment

Change your environment

It is not necessary to move to another city, change job, business and gender. Changing gender is a bad idea now: yes, you can whine like a girl, but to be a woman you need other qualities. Moving and sudden changes will help, but many are not ready for this.

Start with simpler things: go to a friend’s village, chop wood, help fix the roof. Talk to your friend and other loved ones about fishing, games, types of eggplants, but not about your ex. Avoid the topic of relationships, otherwise you will become a ninny and, in addition to the girl, you will also lose a friend. The next step is to go to the river, ride a boat, ATV or snowmobile - feel the drive.

If you don’t have a friend, but you have money, go on a trip. The brain remembers only bright emotions, and from the bright ones it selects the more recent ones. Take the process seriously: fill your life with positive emotions every day and every hour. An hour or even a minute without thinking about the past is a victory. When sadness comes, get angry: she allows herself to enjoy life with or without Vasily. Why are you worse?

You went on a trip around the world, but you continue to write messages to your girl every day that she ignores? There will be no result. Exhausting yourself with training and finding new emotions are two parts of the three puzzle. The third point is your thoughts. While your head is looking at the past, you will not see a happy future.

Several methods on how to forget a girl

When answering the question of how to quickly forget the woman you love, you should understand that love is an extremely strong emotional attachment. If you find it difficult to leave your ex-lover alone, in addition to the general recommendations, you should follow other tips.

  1. Think that it’s all over - you and SHE have parted forever, try to get used to this thought. Distract yourself every time if thoughts about your ex-girlfriend arise.
  2. Think about the fact that attachment is associated more with the ideal image drawn in your imagination than with a specific person.
  3. Try to pay attention to yourself, your loved one, and like yourself. In addition, you can finally figure out what you want and what you are striving for.
  4. Enjoy all sorts of pleasant emotions from the rapidly passing minutes and days. Do something you love, come up with a hobby, maybe even an extreme one.
  5. You are free? There's something in this! Try to find some positive aspects in your own independence and freedom. Now you are free to do as you want.
  6. Work more, become a workaholic for a while. Work so hard that when you return home you only have energy left for dinner and sleep. Hard work is a good “cure” for worries and obsessive thoughts.
  7. Even if you feel guilty for the collapse of the relationship, stop “pecking” yourself. A wise person is the one who noted that both partners are to blame for the breakdown of the relationship.

How to let go of the girl you love? Forget that she is so one and only. You are surrounded by a large number of equally (and even more) sweet and pretty young ladies. Start a new relationship.

Fall out of love and forget forever

Move forward to fall out of love

Traveling and moving to another house or city is stronger than other methods - they clear your life of reminders of your ex. And you can’t do without this cleanup: a souvenir from a joint trip will bring you back to nostalgia, a broken edge of a cup will remind you of a quarrel, flowers on the sheet will make you long for a warm hug. I see that you have clenched your teeth and are no longer whining, and your hand does not reach out to write a plaintive “Come back, my love, I can’t live without you.” So I am ready to accept the truth.

She's not your woman anymore

The girl stopped being yours at the moment of separation. When she decided to leave, the woman buried your relationship. Even if you turn on total ignore, hold it until the end and see your ex on the threshold in the pose of a naughty schoolgirl, the moment of the breakup will be remembered forever. The illusion that you can return to the happy days of the beginning of a relationship is an anchor that is ten times heavier than your boat. This lie will drag you down to the bottom, where hen-heeled Alenyak fish are found.

Guilt

There is something worse than simple illusions sitting in your head and chest - guilt. Do you remember how you didn’t buy her ice cream, a teddy bear, slippers from Chuchi and didn’t let her into the “7 Mapup” nightclub? Of course you remember, because this was said by the most important woman in the world! And while she was packing her bags, the lady drew you a portrait of a monster. In the picture, a fat and poor redneck who used his woman as a sex doll, kept him locked up, and had not yet developed. While you believe the words of your ex and look for a portrait resemblance to this monster, you are wasting time.

Remember the beginning of the relationship: there were different words. Words about love, admiration for your figure and intellect. A woman lives by emotions, and her speech only reflects the momentary state of feelings. When a partner in a strong position leaves a lover, he inevitably feels guilty. A woman is afraid of her negative emotions. To make it easier to leave the hateful person, she decided to pour all the negativity into you. Believing a girl's accusations is as naive as believing declarations of eternal love. You’ve already tested the second one on yourself; it’s time to throw the guilt in the trash.

Forgetting your girlfriend is a solution

Coldness in the body and an angry readiness to act on the face are good. But it's time to step away from the mirror in which you admire the new you and start cleaning. I decided to forget - throw illusions out of my head, and all the things of my ex-woman out of the house. Recycle memories to the last: cups, curtains, toys, blankets and pillows. Ban yourself from going to places of memories and watching snotty films. But don’t rush to delete your couple’s collection of home photos and videos. It’s better to carefully download it to a separate flash drive or cloud drive - they will come in handy. Do as much as possible on the first day and continue until the final cleansing. Act quickly, without analysis and nostalgia. If you get stuck on a photo from three years ago, you will wake up at the feet of a runaway lady in a puddle of your own humiliation.

Spying on your ex is more dangerous than her things.

Monitoring her account on social media, spying on her online and watching her stories are memories available anywhere on the Planet 24/7. By continuing to rant about your ex, you insult your own decision: you wanted to forget, but you yourself are drooling over photos of her buttocks on Instagram. Just give it a like and give the lady the opportunity to consider you a cancer without any fish. Then, if she gets bored, she will hang you up to sleep with you for the night, and if you try to stay, she will answer, “It was just sex, stupid.” On the way home you will understand: you are not just stupid, you were raped twice and left out in the cold.

Think of social networks and any surveillance as your attempt to come back guilty. You have decided to forget her, from this second you will not give even a drop of your attention to this woman. She was able to stop loving you and decide that she no longer needs you. So either you can do it too, or under your place by the door on the mat.

How to fall out of love faster


Active sports help you return to normal life

If you are familiar with the phrase “I can’t stop loving the girl who left me,” it’s time to think about yourself, understand how to live on, what to do to stop thinking about her forever.

  1. First of all, you need to get rid of everything that reminds you of your ex. It's not just her photos and gifts. This could be a pillow on which she often liked to lie, or your shirt, which she often tried on.
  2. Cut off all contacts. Remove her number from your phone book, remove her from your list of friends on a social network. You no longer need to track her activity. Better yet, add her number and account to the blacklist. The fact is that some girls, even when they themselves are the initiators of the breakup, cannot come to terms with the fact that they want to forget them. Therefore, it is possible that she will begin to be active, start calling or sending SMS. At this moment it is important not to react. That's why it's better to change your phone number or blacklist her everywhere.
  3. You should know that playing sports helps you quickly push all romantic nonsense out of your head. Physical activity will allow you to free your thoughts, lift your spirits, and feel your strength.
  4. Traveling to new places helps. The opportunity to leave your usual place of residence will 100% prevent a chance meeting with your ex-lover. In addition, this will allow you to get new emotions and learn a lot of interesting information. You will be able to push out thoughts about your ex.
  5. Now is the time to surround yourself with the care of friends and loved ones. You need to communicate with them more, not spend time alone with your thoughts.
  6. It is recommended to find a hobby. Devote all your free time to some hobby.
  7. To make your soul feel better, listen to your favorite music, but avoid sad melodies or love songs. Also exclude music that you listened to together and those songs that your ex likes.
  8. Go for a walk often, especially on sunny days. Take a walk in the park, don’t avoid meeting girls, you can even indulge in some light flirting. It is important to understand that your beloved is not the only female.
  9. Relax, try to know your spiritual strength. Meditation and yoga classes will be especially successful.
  10. If staying in the same city with a girl is unbearable, change your place of residence if you have such an opportunity.
  11. Change your daily routine. Now is the time to make changes in your life. Try to do something unusual, for example, go to the top of a mountain or jump with a parachute. Such an extreme vacation will allow you to rethink your life.
  12. Take care of yourself. Go to a beauty salon, start visiting the gym. As you change, you will be able to feel your self-esteem increase. You will see that your ex-lover is no longer worthy of such a spectacular and handsome man. Now new horizons are open to you, you can confidently conquer women’s hearts.

Forgetting forever means moving on

In fact, a person cannot forget important events, but he can stop considering them important. Significance is implicated in emotions that will be renewed every day. It is not time itself that heals, but time invested in new experiences. There is no way to stop suffering while sitting on the couch. To fall out of love means to move forward with body, emotions and thoughts.

Stop loving a girl in 7 steps

  • First of all, load your body. Tired muscles help you sleep.
  • Be sure to eat well - exhaustion increases negative emotions.
  • Be angry with yourself: she lives, and you are rummaging through old stuff.
  • Change your surroundings, travel, get new experiences.
  • Admit that the woman no longer belongs to you.
  • Make a decision - no humiliation in front of your ex.
  • Stop monitoring and dispose of all reminders.

Help comes to those who are willing to work

The higher the density of events, the faster a person leaves the prison of the past and moves on. You will have to work, but after a week you will feel: it is better to be exhausted by trying to move forward than by trying to hide from the situation under the covers. Later you will understand that the emotions of parting gave you a kick and helped you change for the better. This is not a paradox: we grow only through trials, only when we work on our lives day after day.

More often than not, abandoned guys make a different choice: they hide in a corner and cover themselves in self-pity like mosquito repellent. But you cannot avoid the painful stings of the past. Stand in front of your favorite mirror and look into your swollen eyes: did you imagine yourself like this as an adult when you were a boy? You cannot prevent a person from feeling sorry for himself, but the position of a victim inevitably makes a man pitiful. It’s not just women who feel sick from a sour muzzle and drooping shoulders: colleagues, boss, clients, passersby - everyone will feel this weakness and will treat you accordingly.

To be stronger than pain to stop loving

A man who is burning with the desire to return or forget his ex in a couple of days is doomed to suffer. I understand the desire to avoid pain through magical manipulation. Only everyone will have to go through the agony of separation. Breaking up with a loved one is not a walk in a forest clearing. Also, ignoring is not magic, and a strong position is not playing cool. The consultation and the entire Maxim Verdict project was created for men who are ready to overcome pain. Together it will be easier for us, but without the determination to leave your ex in the past, nothing will work out for you.

Tip two

Try to remove the idealized image and look at her with ordinary eyes as a simple real person with many flaws. You can even write down these shortcomings or clearly formulate them in some other way. It’s just important not to get too carried away with this, otherwise the opposite effect may occur - from love to hate.

The most important result to be achieved is a neutral attitude with a small amount of sympathy for what this acquaintance gave. Roughly speaking - indifference. Perhaps this is the main advice on how to stop loving a girl.

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