Constant thoughts of suicide, suicide: what to do, how to overcome

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In the traditional beliefs of various nationalities, there is an interesting position according to which a person who has once been visited by suicidal thoughts will sooner or later end his life's journey by committing suicide; it is only a matter of time. In a sense, this is true, because the thought of killing oneself comes only to those who are driven to despair by certain circumstances, mental or physical illnesses.

If a person is weak, deprived of sufficient internal resources to overcome problems and, first of all, himself, sooner or later he will decide to escape from troubles in such a terrible way. If you notice that you are having thoughts of suicide, there is no need to waste time. Look for the germ of the cause, pull it out by the roots and do not forget that overcoming troubles means winning not only over them, but also over yourself.

Learn to recognize warning signs

If you notice them on a friend in time, you can save his life. Here's what you need to pay attention to first.

Suicidal thoughts

They usually involve two or more types of the following thought patterns:

Obsessive fixation on some thought.
The belief that there is no hope, and the only way to get rid of pain is by dying.
The belief that existence is meaningless or uncontrollable.
Feeling like your brain is in a fog and it’s impossible to concentrate.

Suicidal emotions

Here are the most common:

Sudden mood swings.
Feeling lonely and isolated even in the presence of others.
Feelings of guilt or worthlessness, shame, self-hatred, the feeling that no one cares.
Sadness, isolation, fatigue, apathy, anxiety, irritability.

Trigger phrases

They are usually consonant with suicidal thoughts and moods:

Life is not worth all this suffering.
You (or another loved one) will be better off without me.
Don't worry, I won't be there when you have to deal with this.
You'll regret it when I'm gone.
Soon I will stop getting in everyone's way.
Soon I will stop being a burden to everyone.
I just can't deal with it, and why should I?
There is nothing I can do to change anything.
I have no choice.
It would be better for me to die.
It would have been better for me not to have been born at all.

Sudden improvement in mood

Many who decide to commit suicide commit this act precisely when from the outside it seems that they feel better. The final decision brings them relief and they appear calm. If you notice such a sudden change in a friend's condition, immediately do everything to prevent a suicide attempt (more on this later).

Unusual behavior

Those who contemplate suicide usually experience behavioral changes. Be wary if you notice several of these signs:

Decreased performance at school, work, and other activities.
Social isolation.
Lack of interest in sex, friends, and anything that used to bring pleasure.
Indifference to one's health and appearance.
Changing eating habits. First of all, pay attention to extremes: fasting, eating unhealthy foods, stopping taking medications (the latter is especially important for older people).
Lethargy and isolation.

Signs of a ready-made plan

If a person already has a plan, then a suicide attempt may happen very soon. You should be concerned if, in addition to suicidal thoughts and phrases, you notice the following:

A person sums things up, for example, says goodbye to relatives, distributes valuables, and makes a will.
Your friend makes rash or passive decisions regarding important things. For example, selling a home, career and everything related to his future.

Adviсe

Communication with relatives and close friends helps get rid of depressive thoughts

You need to decide what exactly causes suffering, and do everything to rethink your life.
Imagine yourself 10 - 20 years older, what would you do in such a situation? Would suicide really help cope with what's going on now?
Read stories that tell about desires to commit suicide and how people were able to overcome suicidal tendencies and find reasons to continue living.
Learn to love yourself, your body, your inner world. Believe that you are able to overcome any difficulty, because you are a strong person.
If anxiety due to financial problems is to blame, you need to learn how to plan your expenses.
If you have problems communicating with other people, you need to seek help from a psychologist who will teach you how to develop social skills.
If you are often tormented by stressful situations, learn to relax, for example, by doing meditation.
If other people bully you, don't blame yourself for it. You are not to blame for how others behave. If necessary, seek psychological help.
Accept that the thoughts that appear in your head are hints that you need to change something in your life, start taking action, and not give up.
Think about the fact that you are alive at the moment, which means that you were able to cope with the difficulties that arose before, and now you can cope too.
Find your advantages, praise yourself even for small victories.
Learn to control your emotions and resist stress.
Don't be afraid to seek help from your loved ones.
Say “no” to the bad thoughts that are born in your head. Be confident in your words.
It is necessary to exclude the use of narcotic drugs and not abuse alcohol. Recognize that suicidal thoughts may occur when under the influence of these substances.

Talk about the situation

There is an opinion that the mention of suicide can make a person think about it, but this is a myth. The benefits and risks of asking research participants about suicide: A meta-analysis of the impact of exposure to suicide-related content. . If you talk openly with your friend, it will be easier for him to see other options to solve the problem.

Find a comfortable environment

The conversation will likely be very difficult, especially for your friend. Please note that he may feel guilty and ashamed about his intention. Start a conversation where there will be no distractions. Ideally, in a calm, familiar environment.

Touch on the topic of suicide

Start with these questions:

How do you cope with everything that has befallen you?
Do you ever feel like you just want to give up?
Do you often think about death?
Are you thinking about hurting yourself?
Have you tried this before?

Speak openly and clearly

Avoid general phrases that may seem accusing (“You keep saying that life has become impossible”). Be more specific, for example: “Over the past few months, I've noticed that you no longer feel happy about the things that used to make you feel good. You stopped spending time with your children." Show that you started this conversation to show you care.

Perhaps at first the interlocutor will act bewildered or laugh at your words. However, if you notice serious red flags, don't let him move the conversation to another topic.

Don't judge

It may seem to you that your friend is wrong in his assessment of events, that everything is not so scary for him. Remind yourself that you cannot fully understand what is going on inside him.

Forget about the widespread opinion in society that suicide is a way out of selfish, crazy or immoral people. Suicidal ideation is the result of a medical condition that is treatable and for which your friend is not to blame.

Don't use phrases that can hurt

Your point of view will not necessarily help a person look at his problems differently. It may seem like you just don't take them seriously. Therefore, do not say phrases like “It’s not that bad.”

Also avoid statements that make you feel guilty, such as, “You have so many reasons to live,” or “Think about how your death will upset your family and friends.” Instead, be compassionate and say, “It must be really hard for you to be having these thoughts.”

Listen and show empathy

This conversation should make your friend feel loved and supported. Try to put yourself in his place and listen without criticism. Look the other person in the eye and show your openness through your body language.

Words of support and encouragement are important, but let the other person talk first. Don't interrupt him. After he has spoken, express your point of view. Mention that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Assure that you and other loved ones will help you find alternative solutions to the situation.

Let your friend know that you love him and that he is an important part of your life. Emotional support at such a time is a very important incentive to live on.

How to cope with thoughts of suicide

This booklet is intended for anyone who has ever experienced suicidal thoughts. We will tell you what suicidal thoughts are, why they arise, how you can help yourself quickly cope with them, and in the future get rid of them completely. What to do if you need help right now? If you feel unsafe to be alone, you can choose any of the options to get help and support:

your territory. Online crisis chat for teenagers and young people;
8 800 2000 122 – 24-hour helpline;
112 or 103 – ambulance

If someone has attempted suicide or is on the verge of it, call the hotline of the Center for Emergency Psychological Assistance of the Ministry of Emergency Situations of Russia: (495) 626-37-07 (in Moscow) and (812) 718-25-16 (in St. -Petersburg).
What are suicidal feelings? Suicide is taking one's own life of one's own free will. Thoughts about suicide can range from obsessive abstract thoughts about the meaninglessness of life, from the feeling that you have become a burden to your loved ones and they will be better off without you, to debilitating thoughts and clear planning of exactly how to commit suicide. When you experience something like this, it can be scary, but it's important to remember that you are not alone. Many people at some points in their lives have thoughts of suicide. How can I feel when I have suicidal thoughts? The experience of suicidal feelings may vary from person to person. These experiences may sometimes intensify or change from time to time. And most often I don’t understand why I experience all these emotions. Here are some thoughts, feelings and situations that are common in people with suicidal feelings. I may think and feel that: • everything is hopeless and there is no point in continuing to live; • I want to cry and think only about the worst; • the pain is so unbearable that it is difficult to imagine; • everything is useless, and no one needs me; • I am driven to despair; • everyone will be better off without me; • it’s like the body doesn’t belong to me and sometimes I want to freeze and not move.

At the same time, I can: • sleep poorly and wake up early; • do not eat regularly, therefore gaining or losing weight; • not taking care of yourself: for example, losing interest in your appearance; • avoid communication with people; • experience disgust and disrespect for yourself and your needs; • feel the urge to cause physical harm to yourself.

How long will I feel suicidal? Suicidal feelings can create serious difficulties. The duration of these experiences may vary. There is often a feeling that “I will never be happy again and that there is no hope left for improvement.” However, with timely help, most People who have experienced such experiences can subsequently live independently, fully and happily. The sooner you share your feelings with specialists, the faster you can get support and overcome difficult experiences. Although opening up to others sometimes feels unsafe.

You want to tell at least someone about your feelings, but at the same time you: • cannot tell anyone about it; • you don’t know who can listen to you; • you are worried that you will not be understood; • you are afraid that you will be judged; • you don’t want to upset your loved ones. In this case, it may be helpful to show our leaflet on helping people with suicidal feelings to someone you trust. This can be a good way to start a conversation and give the other person ideas on how they can help you. It is very important to remember that you deserve support, you are not alone and there are always people next to you who are ready to give you a helping hand.

Why do I want to commit suicide? Suicidal feelings can affect a person of any age, gender, position in society, in any difficult life situation. If you're familiar with these types of experiences, you've probably been feeling a growing sense of despair and worthlessness for a long time. You may not know what led you to these experiences, but it is usually a combination of several factors. The process of experiencing certain life difficulties can provoke suicidal feelings, for example:

mental health problems;
bullying or restriction of rights on any grounds by others;
domestic abuse;
death of loved ones;
separation from a partner;
long-term physical pain or illness;
inability to accept drastic changes in life, such as becoming disabled, expelled from school, or fired;
money problems or loss of housing;
rejection or feelings of loneliness;
imprisonment;
feeling like a failure or inadequate;
suicide of a loved one;
tendency to smoke, drink alcohol, drugs and other psychoactive substances;
pregnancy, childbirth or postpartum depression;
pressure from traditional beliefs, such as forced marriage;
concerns about one's own sexuality or gender identity;
sexual or physical violence.

If you don't know what's causing your suicidal feelings, you may find it even harder to believe that you can get over them.
But whatever the reason, there are always people ready to help you cope with these feelings. Can medications cause suicidal feelings? Some medications, such as antidepressants, can cause suicidal feelings. This side effect is primarily associated with a type of antidepressant called a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI), but other antidepressants may also potentially have this effect. Young people under 25 years of age are especially at risk. If you find that taking antidepressants makes you feel suicidal:

contact your doctor as soon as possible and discuss this with him;
If you feel an immediate danger of suicide, go to the nearest clinic or call an ambulance (phone numbers are listed above).

Why are some groups of people more at risk of suicide?
Research shows that men and people who identify as LGBTQIA* are at increased risk of committing suicide. [*LGBTQIA is an acronym for Lesbian - Gay - Bisexual - Transgender - Queer - Intersex - Asexual]

Men It is not yet fully known why it happens that men commit suicide more often than women. Studies aimed at analyzing suicidal behavior in men have shown that men often:

feel pressure from other people that “you should mind your own business and keep your thoughts and experiences to yourself”;
choose a method of suicide that has a lower chance of survival;
adhere to the idea that they must cope on their own, without the help of other people;
afraid of appearing weak in the eyes of others by talking about your feelings or seeking help.

In the UK, organizations such as the Campaign Against Living in Suffering (CALM) work to prevent suicide among men, despite the cultural stigma that prevents men from seeking help when they need it.
In Russia there is a 24-hour helpline (see “Useful contacts”). Also in St. Petersburg in April 2020, a Crisis Center for men who suffered from violence opened (centerformen.ru). LGBTQIA Studies show that people from the LGBTQIA community are more likely to experience suicidal feelings and commit suicide. The reasons for this are complex and not yet fully understood. However, mental health problems that are typical for people who identify themselves as members of the LGBTQIA Community are associated with: • infringement of rights and freedom of choice; • bullying from others; • fear of homosexual thoughts, hostility towards people with bisexual orientation, a wide range of negative feelings (dislike, hatred, disgust) towards transgender people.

You may also experience rejection, negativity, or hostility from family members, friends, strangers, employers, or members of your religious community. This can greatly impact your self-esteem and may lead you to feel unable to openly tell others about your sexual orientation, whether at work, at home, or anywhere else.

You can get psychological help and information support by calling the helpline. Further information in English can be found in the 'LGBTQ mental health' section on the Mind website (mind.org.uk).

Where can I get help? You may be constantly experiencing suicidal feelings, and it may seem like there is nothing that can help. But there is definitely help.

Doctor Help/Therapist Help Seeing a therapist is a good start. It is normal to feel anxious when talking to your doctor about your suicidal feelings, just as it is normal for doctors to encounter people who have difficulty coping with their feelings. Your doctor will be able to: • recommend a psychotherapist; • prescribe medications for you; • refer you to a specialist.

Personal therapy Conversation therapy involves talking about your feelings with a professional, such as a psychologist or psychotherapist. Perhaps this conversation will help you identify why you are experiencing suicidal feelings and how you can help yourself overcome them. If you have to wait a long time for your turn to get help at a state budget clinic, try contacting online chat specialists or calling the helpline. You can also get help from charitable organizations near your place of work or study, or anonymously in a private clinic.

Medication Treatment There is no specific medication that is designed to relieve suicidal feelings, but your doctor can tailor treatment to help you manage your symptoms or, if needed, take a closer look at the mental health problem that may be causing you to feel suicidal. Antidepressants, antipsychotics or mood stabilizers are used for treatment.

Help in crisis situations The crisis service helps to cope with the problem as soon as possible. There are different services, you can find them in the contacts section:

on-site crisis resolution team;
community mental health groups that can support you as your condition worsens;
a crisis center where you can come to think about life and talk with those who are also experiencing suicidal feelings;
Local support services may offer day care centers or shelters where you can get advice or support on specific issues.

Helpline Helpline is a quick and convenient way to get support and assistance.
Many helplines are available 24 hours a day and provide a secure conversation with a specialist. Talking on the phone can be especially helpful if you find it difficult to open up to people you know or share your feelings in person. More information about helplines can be found in the Useful Contacts section of Support Groups This type of support brings together people with similar experiences to provide mutual support to each other. You can share your thoughts and advice with those who understand what you are experiencing. Mutual support from people who have experienced similar experiences can also be obtained via the Internet. This can be especially useful if you have trouble talking to people on the phone or in person. When looking for online support, it is important to be gentle with yourself and remember that no one can force you to do something, manipulate you, demand something, or threaten you. If this happens, then you can contact the police by writing a statement.

How can I help myself cope with suicidal feelings right now? You may be so lost right now, angry at the world, hurting so much inside that it may seem like there will be no end to it. But it is important to remember that these experiences cannot and will not continue indefinitely. They will pass, as all feelings pass.

There are several steps you can take right now to stop your suicidal thoughts. Everyone is different, so you need to figure out what works for you. Here are some practical tips that have already helped other people experiencing suicidal feelings: 1. Stay safe now

Force yourself to live for another 5 minutes. Consciously living every minute will help make unbearable thoughts more tolerable. You can go to the website nosuicid.ru and read the information section or forum there. Praise yourself for every 5 minutes you live.
Hide anything that you could use to harm yourself, or ask others to put away anything that could harm you. If you are in a dangerous place, get out of there.
If you have a crisis safety plan, follow it.
Tell someone about your condition: share with a friend, family member, or even your pet. This will help you feel that you are not alone and that you have control over yourself.

2. Take a break

If you're thinking about self-harm, find self-harm techniques that work for you, such as: - hold an ice cube in your hand, wait until it melts, and focus on the feeling of coldness; - tear something into hundreds of small pieces; - Take a very cold shower or bath.
Focus on your feelings.
Take time to think about what smells, tastes, bodily sensations, sounds, images arise in your mind. This will help you control your thoughts.
Even out your breathing. Take a deep breath and exhale more slowly than usual. This will help you feel calmer.
Take care of yourself: do something nice for yourself.
Avoid using drugs and alcohol as they can make you feel worse.
Drink a glass of water or, if you are hungry, eat something, get comfortable and write about your experiences.
Get outside. If you feel like your body doesn’t belong to you, feel the rain, sun or wind on your skin. This will help you reconnect with your body.
Meet with friends. If you can't talk to someone you know, call a helpline or connect with an online community.

3. Check your thoughts

Make an agreement with yourself that you will not harm yourself today. Plan how you will get help if you don't already have it (see "What support can I get?")
Find your reasons to live. You may think that the world will be better without you or that everything is useless and there is no point in living, but this is not so.

You can:

write about what you are looking forward to in the future - for example, your favorite dish, the image of your loved one, or the release of a new season of a series that interests you;
plan for tomorrow what you really want to do. Your plans don't have to be grandiose or involve big expenses.
Think about the people you love.

4. Be kind to yourself Talk to yourself as if you were talking to your best friend.
Do whatever can help you get rid of suicidal thoughts. You can do something small but pleasant, for example, take a bath, wrap yourself in a cozy blanket and watch your favorite movie. These Ideas may seem stupid, although it is very easy to forget to do something important for yourself on time. 5. Tell yourself you can handle it Sometimes we can get caught up in negative thoughts and lose hope. Repeating to yourself that you can overcome these difficult experiences will help you find hope and focus on getting through this difficult time.

How can I help myself in the future? If you have experienced suicidal feelings in the past or still feel depressed now, you may worry that these feelings will return or get worse. But there are step-by-step recommendations that can help you feel better during a difficult time, even if suicidal thoughts return.

6. Prepare a safety plan A safety plan is your personal step-by-step plan for helping yourself in case suicidal feelings suddenly return. Your safety plan may include:

recognizing early signs of deterioration in your condition;
a description of your coping strategies - what has helped you in the past, and what you can do at the moment to take your mind off your problems without the help of other people;
names and contact details of loved ones or hotline numbers where you can call in a crisis situation;
names and contact details of professionals and organizations you can contact when you are feeling down;
measures to ensure the safety of your environment and contacts of the place where you will be safer.

Try to make a plan when you are calm and can clearly define what is good for you.
You may want to make a plan with a trusted friend or therapist and share a copy of your plan with them. Is a security plan the same as a crisis plan? A safety plan reminds you step by step of what you can do now to keep yourself safe. A crisis plan is a more detailed plan, agreed upon by your doctor and therapist, that describes the steps you have taken in the past to keep you safe. It also indicates whether you have signed a prior consent or consent form for the maintenance medication you need if necessary.

7. Learn to manage difficult feelings

Live every day consciously. There are good days and bad days. Try to focus on each individual day and set small, achievable goals for yourself.
Develop your own personal coping strategies. Self-help resources can help you cope with difficult feelings and develop coping skills.
Let your feelings be. Suppressing or denying feelings that come your way can cause them to build up and become even more difficult to deal with later. Think about what caused your suicidal feelings and share your thoughts with someone you trust.
Make a box of happiness. Fill the box with things that bring back fond memories and cheer you up when you're feeling down. The box can contain anything that matters to you and helps you. For example, your favorite book, funny quotes, photographs, letters, poems, your notes, a soft toy, perfumes or smells that you like.
Find what triggers you. Keeping a diary will help you see how your mood changes throughout the day and understand the reasons for your suicidal feelings. You can track your feelings using an online mood diary, such as Mood Panda (see Useful Contacts).
Do not blame yourself. Many people who have attempted or thought about committing suicide have felt guilty. Try to accept the fact that all your feelings are real, don’t blame yourself, but focus your energy on being gentle with yourself.

8. Value yourself

Write yourself a letter. Describe in it your happy moments and the people who love you and care about you. Read this letter when suicidal feelings come to remind yourself that things change and life can get better.
Plan something you look forward to. It doesn't have to be something as big as a vacation, but scheduling time to meet people you care about or booking tickets to a concert, exhibition, or club night will help you feel more confident about the future.
Maintain respect for yourself.
Create holidays for yourself. Write about your achievements and what you like about yourself, even the little things. If someone praises you or just smiles at you, write it down in your diary.
Do what is important to you. It doesn't matter if you read a book for half an hour, do a hobby, or do something new, the main thing is that you always make time for what you enjoy doing.

9. Meet other people

Seek support. If you haven't received help yet or don't feel it yet, check out our page on support for suicidal feelings.
Share your feelings with others. Tell people what helps you and let them know when you're struggling. It is right to ask others to be there for you when you need it.
Become a volunteer. You may benefit from being able to share your experiences with others. This will strengthen your self-confidence and will not let you forget how valuable and necessary your experience is to other people.
Try learning mutual help in groups of people familiar with suicidal experiences. You may find it helpful to discuss with them similar experiences with suicidal feelings. Connect with your local community to find out what opportunities are available in your area.

10. Take care of your comfort, take care of yourself

Get enough sleep. Create a quiet corner in your bedroom where you can learn to return to a state of balance before bed and where nothing will disturb you.
Avoid using drugs and alcohol. Stopping or reducing your use of drugs and/or alcohol will help you gain more control over your thoughts and improve your ability to manage your emotions.
Eat right. Regular healthy eating makes a huge difference to your overall sense of well-being.

USEFUL CONTACTS: Ambulance 103 112 (single rescue number)
Online help Your territory. Online chat for teenagers and youth; telefon-doveria.ru – chat with a psychologist; nosuicid.ru – website about overcoming suicide; bpdresourcecenter.ru - resource center for online support for people with borderline personality disorder (online support groups)

Helplines 8 800 2000 122 – all-Russian helpline 24 hours a day; 8 – emergency psychological assistance 24 hours a day; 051 – emergency psychological help telephone number.

Organizations Due to the lack of information about the capabilities of each city in Russia, we recommend checking the capabilities of your city in the nearest city clinics, social centers, educational organizations, crisis centers, and a helpline. Also, you always have the opportunity to contact a private specialist. In this case, we recommend taking care of yourself and asking specialists for documents confirming their qualifications.

Next you will see several organizations in Moscow and St. Petersburg: both budget and commercial. Moscow

Center for Emergency Psychological Assistance of the Ministry of Emergency Situations of Russia 8 495 989 50 53 and hotline
Scientific and Practical Center for Mental Health of Children and Adolescents named after. G. E. Sukhareva – emergency psychological assistance; – reference; npc-pzdp.ru
Scientific Center for Mental Health – sign up for a consultation; – reference; psychiatry.ru
Moscow Research Institute of Psychiatry 8 (495) 963 7125 (reception) mniip.serbsky.ru
State budgetary institution "Moscow Service for Psychological Assistance to the Population" msph.ru
State budgetary institution of the city of Moscow “City Psychological and Pedagogical Center of the Department of Education of the City of Moscow”, Emergency Psychological Assistance Service (up to 18 years old) 8 495 730 21 93 – single reference, – helpline for children, adolescents, parents (from 10.30 to 21.00) gppc.ru
Center for Emergency Psychological Assistance at MSUPE 8 499 795 15 01 - emergency response and psychological counseling sector, 8 800 2000 122, children's helpline
State Budgetary Institution “Crisis Center for Assistance to Women and Children” krizis-centr.ru
Center “Sisters” (center for helping survivors of sexual violence) 8 499 901-02-01 sisters-help.ru

Commercial organizations

Private psychotherapeutic clinic Mental Health Center 8 495 108 04 63 mhcenter.ru
Center for Cognitive Therapy selfhelp.ru
Center for Narrative Psychology and Practice 8 905 797 8445 narrative.ru

Saint Petersburg

Center for Restorative Treatment “Child Psychiatry” named after S. S. Minukhin; 8 800 2000 122 – helpline; cvl.spb.ru

City Consultative and Diagnostic Center; - helpline; juventa-spb.info

[/CENTER] _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ This material is published with permission from Mind (mental health charity), UK.
You can find the original version on the website www.mind.org.uk Worked on the material Translation and adaptation: Elena Baybakova, Nastasya Krysko, Ekaterina Kuzmina, Alisa Saitbatalova Design: Melnik Vera Moscow, 2020 Distributed free of charge

Take protective measures

Discussing the situation and supporting with kind words is very important, but it is not enough. If you feel that your friend is serious, act immediately.

Find out if your friend has means of self-harm and try to eliminate them

Ask as calmly as possible, without judgment. This is very important to find out. If a person already has a plan and the means to implement it, then the situation is even more serious than you thought, and you need to act immediately.

Check if your friend has access to weapons or medicine. Try to remove them. If a friend is taking any medications prescribed by a doctor that could be used for suicide, offer to pick them up and personally dispense the required daily dose.

Offer to be on call in case of emergency

Agree that your friend will call you if he feels like he can't cope with himself. Explain what you will do in this case. For example, come to him or seek professional help.

Be clear about when and how often you can be available before you offer to help. Never promise anything you cannot deliver.

If you feel that your friend is in danger right now, do not leave him alone. Call an ambulance and stay with him until the doctors arrive.

Offer ongoing support

For example, agree to talk on the phone or text regularly to check in on how your friend is doing. Devote more time to common hobbies, go somewhere together. This way you will make the person feel that he is important to you. This is necessary to combat depression, which often causes suicidal thoughts.

Precautionary measures

An active lifestyle prevents thoughts of suicide

If you have a chronic disease, get timely treatment.
Spend enough time on physical exercise.
Make sure you have full and healthy sleep.
Eat right, get enough vitamins and microelements.
Do not allow the development of bad habits, eradicate them if you already have them.
Find a hobby for yourself. A favorite activity will always allow you to take your mind off negative thoughts and concentrate on it.
Learn to think positively, look at things optimistically, look for some positive aspects in every situation.
Set certain goals for yourself and strive for them. Believe in yourself, in your strength, in the fact that you can do anything, life is wonderful.

Now you know what to do when you have thoughts of suicide. Remember that life is the most valuable thing you have. No matter how bad and difficult it is, there is always a way out, an opportunity to change something, improve, improve your existence.

Seek outside help

You are not a therapist and you don't have to be one. Your task is to show concern for your friend and be there for him. Most likely, for the desire to live to return, you will need professional help.

Suggest seeing a therapist

If a person has depression, regular communication with a therapist to discuss suicidal thoughts and their triggers can prevent a suicide attempt. This is especially important for those who have attempted suicide before. These people have an increased risk of reattempting, and psychotherapy reduces Cognitive Therapy for the Prevention of Suicide Attempts. it is almost 50%.

Call an ambulance or support hotline

If a friend continues to talk about suicide and even hints that he will commit suicide in the near future, do not try to cope alone. He needs qualified medical assistance. Call an ambulance, according to the law, Article 29 of the Federal Law of the Russian Federation, a person can be hospitalized if he is going to harm himself.

If there is no immediate threat to life, but the desire to commit suicide still persists, call one of the psychological help hotlines. They can help both those who are thinking about suicide and their loved ones.

Enlist the support of others close to you

Love and care can help a person look at his life differently. Moreover, if people from your inner circle know what words and sentiments to pay attention to, they will not miss alarm bells. Naturally, talk only to those you completely trust and who can really help.

Don't forget to take care of yourself too

Helping someone else cope with such a serious problem is very difficult. This causes stress for loved ones and takes a lot of energy. Therefore, monitor your own emotional and physical state. Don't keep everything to yourself, discuss your feelings with people you trust. This will help you get through the situation easier.

Methods

Write a list of positive traits of your appearance and character, what achievements you are proud of. Write down a list of things that bring you satisfaction in life, some pleasure that helped you cope with difficulties before. Write down the names of people you care about, family members and friends. Remember what films you like to watch, what music to listen to, what books to read. Write down how you see your future, what people you want to see next to you, what places you want to visit, what you want to buy. It is advisable to make such notes next to a person who knows you well. Communication with a close friend will help you overcome depressive thoughts, pull you out of a depressed state, and get rid of suicidal tendencies.
Write down all the arguments indicating the need to live. Re-read them. Better yet, dictate them to your phone and listen to them regularly.
Some people find it easier to pour out their souls over a helpline. They will help you understand yourself and protect you from rash actions. You can also share your thoughts with friends, they will find the right words and support to protect you from a fatal step.
When you feel that you are unable to resist suicidal tendencies on your own, do not be afraid to seek help from a psychotherapist. The specialist will assess your condition, select the right approach, identify the reasons that led to suicidal thoughts, and develop a method for correcting the condition.

Escape from problems

Blackburn wrote:

People contemplating suicide want to get out of a hopeless situation. Others may see other options and possibilities. The problem with the first is false reasoning. There is no need to contemplate suicide. Sometimes after an injury, including the moral one, the mind becomes weak and cannot make the right decisions.

A serious or fatal illness, humiliation, deep insult or overwhelming burden shapes the response. The mind analyzes what happened and, based on our experience, creates pictures of the way out. It is better to solve a problem and overcome it than to run away. If others can continue to live and find positive thinking during difficult times, then why can't you?

Remember:

Your emotions are not fixed - they are constantly changing. What you feel today is not the same as how you felt yesterday, or how you will feel tomorrow or next week.
Your absence would create grief and anguish for friends and loved ones.
There are many things that need to be accomplished.
There are events, sounds, experiences in life that can delight and lift you up - don’t miss them.
Your ability to experience pleasant emotions is equal to your ability to experience anxious ones.

Remember - you are priceless

Man is valuable in himself because he is the image of God. If we remember the story of Adam and Eve, then man was created in the image and likeness of God.

Amazingly made, amazingly talented soul.

Excerpt from Psalm 138 “I praise You, Lord, for I am wonderfully made…. …My bones were not hidden from You when I was created in secret, formed in the depths of my mother’s womb. Your eyes saw my embryo, and in Your book all my days were written, when not one of them existed.”

Reasonable government representatives, negotiating for the release of hostages, strive to save their lives. Our society is built on the value of human life. And we like it. It’s not for nothing that films about saving superheroes are so popular. Real superheroes live among us in gray everyday life without special effects. Christ paid the highest price for you - his life. How did this happen? “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.” Humanity has forgotten about God since ancient times. This is a sin. Christ came to Earth and called on people to come to their senses and believe in the Heavenly Father. But as you know, they didn’t listen to him and killed him. Then Christ is Risen.

The Apostle Paul wrote to the early Christians of the church in Rome, “If you confess with your tongue that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you will be saved.” Based on the Bible, it turns out that Christ died and rose again for your salvation. You have a personal savior. Someone may ask - what should I be saved from? From the invisible enemy called sin. He who believes in Jesus receives forgiveness of sins. Sin is the only flaw of a person in this world. It's like a virus or a bug. Suicide is also a sin. This is explained simply. If your best friend gave you a gift, and you trampled and spat on it. Wouldn't such an act be a sin? Same with God. He worked and created this world. Gave you life for free. Without asking for subscription fees. Although the plot is sometimes so-so, the graphics are great. It’s just a shame - all the abomination and depravity of the world is connected only with sin. Like a tumor he covered this world. Instead of a happy place to live, we got a city of sin. When faced with evil, we give up in despair.

“Consider Him (Christ) who endured such reproach against Himself from sinners, lest you become weary and weakened in your souls. You have not yet fought to the point of blood, striving against sin...” (Heb. 12:3,4)

Fight sinful thoughts of suicide. Be alert to this signal from your mind. Remember - you need spiritual protection.

Live communication with God

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Social factors

The atmosphere of perception of reality, as well as the climate, have recently undergone changes. Society has lost immunity to dangerous social phenomena. Yes, the tyranny and despotism of the leaders are fading away. But cruelty to one’s body, such as the abuse of harmful substances and other bad habits, remains. Films about violence and deadly games on computers direct thinking from childhood on the wrong path. Morale was under attack. And it’s up to everyone to engage in their own self-education. Understand in life what is good and what is bad. Our task is to erase everything negative from the experience of society and adopt the best.

A Biblical View of Suicide

One of the heroes of the Bible, Job, grieving over the death of his children, says: “Perish the day on which I was born... Why did I not die when I was born?”

After the defeat of the capital under the onslaught of the attackers, the king of Israel Zimri set fire to his palace and died in the fire. Samson, a very strong warrior, was blinded and chained. They were brought to the enemy’s “house of culture” for entertainment. He broke a column and collapsed the roof of the building, killing many enemies. At the same time, he himself died. There are other cases of suicide described in the Bible. They are not numerous. The main thing is that the Bible does not romanticize or recommend suicide. Scripture speaks of the sanctity of human life and the right that belongs to God to give or take it. “The Lord kills and gives life, brings down to the grave and raises up.”

Therefore, God does not like suicide. In response to difficult circumstances, we receive a call to perseverance: “In the world you will have tribulation; But take heart: I have overcome the world.” God gives hope, attention and strength to overcome despair.

What is a sense of life?

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