WHAT IS MIRRORING
Mirroring or reflection is an exact copying of the actions, words, and mood of the interlocutor.
Types of reflection
Reflection can be conscious or unconscious, complete or partial, that is, affecting one or more aspects of your counterpart’s behavior. Conventionally, it can be classified into the following levels:
Physical (bodily) level:
- reproduction of body position,
- reflection of movements and gestures,
- repetition of facial expressions,
- adjustment to the rhythm of breathing.
Sound (voice) level:
- volume, tone and timbre of voice,
- speed and rhythm of speech.
Verbal (verbal) level:
- speech style,
- terminology used,
- intonation,
- emotional coloring of speech, etc.
Methods of mirroring can vary and change in the process of communication.
Unconscious reflection is most often found among like-minded people and friends who sincerely love each other. Unconscious reflection of speech can manifest itself if you want to convey your thought to a person who speaks your language poorly. Relatives mirror each other , for example, adults begin to speak in a “children’s” language in the hope that they will understand them more quickly. Children, in turn, also imitate their elders, wanting to be accepted into their midst.
Conscious reflection is often used in various teaching methods, as well as to correct communication problems and in sales psychology.
They mirror not only a person’s physical manifestations, but also interests, emotions, and hobbies . Thus, the still known practice of inviting professional musicians, songwriters, and in some cases mourners, serves to form the desired mood among others by reflecting, transforming and directing the psychological state of those present in the right direction.
Why does a person copy the behavior of his interlocutor?
“Imitation is the best form of flattery.” This saying perfectly describes the chameleon effect, otherwise called “unconscious mirroring.” The chameleon effect is an unconscious behavior of a person in which he copies facial expressions, gestures, accent and even the gait of another person. As a rule, such unconscious copying is a way to please another person, to enter his circle of trust, demonstrating similarity to him. The chameleon effect is becoming common between people who are close to each other, such as spouses. Without knowing it, they copy each other's facial expressions, gestures, gesticulations, accents and demeanor. This phenomenon was confirmed by experiments by New York University scientists Tanya Chartrand and John Bargh. The study was conducted in 1999 and involved 78 people. The main goal of a series of experiments was to find out under what conditions the chameleon effect is activated and what purposes it serves: do people copy each other unconsciously, even if they barely know each other, does the chameleon effect contribute to greater sympathy on the part of the interlocutor, does it allow one to enter the circle of trust of a significant person? person? In the first experiment, subjects spoke one-on-one with one of the scientists. It is worth noting that the participants in the experiment did not know that in front of them was a scientist. They were sure that this was a research participant. Each of the scientists had his own special habit: touching his face during a conversation, shaking his leg, etc. In the second experiment, the subject discussed a photograph with one of the scientists. In half of these discussions, the experimenter behaved absolutely neutrally, in the other half he copied the behavior of the subjects, mirroring his habit of twirling his hair on his finger, copying his manner of speaking, etc. After this, the subjects were asked to rate how much they liked the interlocutor on a scale from 1 to 9. During the third experiment, the scientist sat opposite the subject and asked him questions about empathy. During the interview, the scientist copied the habit of rubbing his forehead, shaking his leg, and other behavior patterns of the subject. Scientists found that during the first experiment, subjects copied the behavior of their interlocutor. Thus, subjects touched their faces 20% more often during a conversation and 50% more often shook their legs, repeating after the interlocutor. The second experiment confirmed that communication with a person who copied the interlocutor’s behavior was more effective and more pleasant for the subject than with an interlocutor who behaved neutrally (6.76 points versus 5.91). The third experiment showed that the interlocutor's empathy skills and openness to other people's ideas are also associated with the unconscious habit of mimicry. Scientists have concluded that unconscious mimicry is a means to please your interlocutor. It has been established that people with a developed ability to reflect are more prone to exhibit the chameleon effect. They are more sociable and make new friends easily.
Reflection mechanism
Mirroring (reflection) of the interlocutor is based on the formation in the interlocutor or a group of people of a feeling of acceptance and closeness according to the Mowgli principle (“you and I are of the same blood”). Based on similar movements, gestures, interests, vocabulary used, manners and similar signals, a person gets the feeling that the interlocutor is the same, one of his own. This relaxes the person, reduces anxiety, removes blockages and thereby encourages him to listen, trust, understand and accept.
If the reflection is perceived by a person as unnatural or, worse, the interlocutor demonstrates diametrically opposite signals, he is perceived as a stranger, a danger from whom he must be protected. Such a situation will, at best, lead to misunderstanding, and at worst, to open conflict. At the same time, the parties to the conflict will not realize what exactly caused their disagreements.
An unnatural reflection is always noticeable and is perceived very negatively.
The more unnoticeably and naturally mirroring is carried out, the easier it is to gain the interlocutor’s favor and even influence the point of view and actions.
Mirroring Basics
Reflection is often used in pedagogy and psychology, including sales psychology.
By tuning into your interlocutor by reflecting his physical, emotional, verbal and other signals, you can achieve his trust and attention. If you then gradually change your signals, the person will begin to unconsciously repeat them and change his attitude towards what is happening, following in the direction the interlocutor needs.
You can always find or create common points. You don't have to tell a lie to do this.
Remember during exams at school or college, without knowing the answer to a specific question on the ticket, you could always try to shift the focus of the discussion to another topic that was more familiar to you. For example, when talking about the properties of gases, one could move on to the operation of an internal combustion engine or the design of a converter furnace and get a fairly high score. Of course, provided that you are fluent in this topic.
When discussing the latest technological innovations, you don’t have to imagine that you own every conceivable set of devices. You may know something about them, have heard something about them, or at least want to know more. You will be considered the smartest interlocutor if you show real interest in your counterpart and are ready to listen to him, gradually mirroring and guiding him.
Basic reflection techniques
- Body position
Did your counterpart lean forward? Wait a couple of moments and repeat his movement.
Did he lean back in his chair? Slowly change your position.
Your interlocutor is aggressive, his arms and legs are crossed. Cross your arms calmly, then relax for a few seconds and open your arms. This way you will show him on a non-verbal level. That there is no need to be afraid of you and ease the tension a little.
- Gestures and facial expressions
It is not necessary to wave your arms after your interlocutor, as if you were a windmill. But it will be useful to give some liveliness to your hands. Don’t grimace if your counterpart’s facial expressions are lively and intense, but try to feel the same as the person opposite you, and you will adapt to his mood on an emotional level.
- Speech
If you speak slowly and your interlocutor is swallowing his words, try speaking a little faster and in short phrases. This way he will have time to hear you. Speech that is too slow for him simply will not be perceived by him.
Try to use terminology and speech patterns close to the speech of your interlocutor. Do not use words that you may not know the meaning of. In different areas, the same words can carry completely different meanings. Feel free to clarify the essence of a particular term. By doing this you will show your interest and will be able to win him over more quickly.
- Interests
When communicating, try to identify the common ground between you and your interlocutor. This may be his hometown, to which you once came on official business. This could be his favorite thing that you always wanted to do, but never got around to.
Any such moment can turn a boring conversation into a pleasant informal conversation.
LiveInternetLiveInternet
Mirroring
We have already talked about adjustment, mirroring is an integral part of this method. We talk about mirroring when interlocutors copy each other's gestures, sit in the same poses, and speak with the same intonation and speed of speech. There are a lot of mirroring options. We often use this method unconsciously; it is present when we completely share the views of our opponent. Copying facial expressions, gestures and other aspects persists as long as people agree with each other.
According to experts, mirroring can most often be seen when close people communicate, but unfamiliar people try to avoid any repetition of gestures and other signals.
Of course, this method, which allows you to find a “common language,” can be used absolutely consciously. To mirror, start by repeating one aspect of the behavior (that is, proceed in the same way as with tuning). Choose the simplest parameter - the position of the arms, legs, simple facial expressions, intonation, volume of speech. As already mentioned, people are not aware or notice when someone is trying to copy some aspects of their behavior. Therefore, remember that: firstly, the chance that the interlocutor will understand that you are repeating gestures after him is too small; secondly, that mirroring is not mimicking, but a subtle reflection of unconscious communication. Using this method, you can express both your agreement and your disagreement, without uttering a word.
Mirroring is when interlocutors copy each other's gestures, sit in the same poses, and speak with the same intonation and speed of speech. We often use this method unconsciously; it is present when we completely share the views of our opponent.
By copying posture, gestures and other signals, you win over your interlocutor because you nonverbally agree with him, and he is aware of it. Also, with the help of mirroring, you inspire the trust of your interlocutor. Which is without a doubt very important for any communication. All this happens and is realized on an unconscious level. By mirroring your interlocutor, you become his reflection, and how can he not trust his reflection?
In addition, mirroring allows you to gain the upper hand over your interlocutor. It works like this: for example, you are communicating with a high-ranking person, and if you (only naturally) adopt the same posture as him (let's say she was expressing arrogance), it will discourage him and force him to change his posture. The initiative immediately falls into your hands, since the interlocutor’s posture, and, accordingly, his attitude, has become less aggressive and arrogant.
In addition, by carefully observing the right people, you can always find out who exactly is making decisions. You just need to determine who is copying the other person's gestures.
When adapting to the pose of your interlocutor, do it gradually, first give an identical position (tilt) to your head, then to your shoulders, back, torso, and then change the position of your arms and legs. First, practice mirroring the body position of people who sit motionless and do not engage in dialogue with you.
You can adjust to your breathing. First, determine the pace of breathing, its frequency, rhythm, depth, evenness. At the same time, remember that a woman breathes with her chest, and a man breathes with his stomach. Therefore, without some skill, adjusting to the breathing of the opposite sex may not be successful.
To mirror facial expressions and gestures, first make a partial adjustment. This adjustment involves repeating only general features. For example, if your interlocutor sat down on a chair, you sit down too, he smiled - you also smile, he smoothed his hair - you smoothed his hair.
Tuning your voice is one of the most difficult things to do. First, you need to listen carefully to your interlocutor, catching the slightest nuances. However, at the same time, you need to listen to the content of the conversation, as well as respond. When you have studied the peculiarities of your interlocutor’s speaking style, begin to adjust slowly, start with any one parameter. If you try to adjust all the parameters at once, your interlocutor will get the feeling that he is being mocked.
When you have adjusted to any parameter of your interlocutor’s behavior, try to lead him along. For a while, just mirror his gestures, listen to what he says and respond. Next, try something simple, like running your hand through your hair or scratching the tip of your nose. If the adjustment has taken place and rapport has been established, then your interlocutor will soon repeat your movement. The interval after which your movement will be repeated depends on the temperament of the interlocutor. In any case, it's no more than a minute. If your gesture is not repeated, it means you didn’t adjust well. Try further. If your interlocutor repeated the movement, then rapport has been established.
Now think about what you want to get out of this rapport. For example, calming down an excited interlocutor. To do this, gradually lower the volume of your speech and breathe more evenly. After some time, your interlocutor will behave more calmly.
To adapt to the group, act in much the same way. But only copy the gestures of the group leader, not all the participants. If the group is small and there is no obvious leader, then make adjustments like this: copy the manner of speaking of one, the movements of the second and the breathing of the third. Sometimes, to achieve your goal, you just need to make adjustments and listen to what your interlocutor is telling you. It is very likely that you will leave the impression of a well-mannered, decent and excellent interlocutor who may well become a business partner
