When it becomes necessary to forget the person you love
No more relationship
Your romance has run its course or never started. Your loved one has made it clear to you that he is not interested in continuing your communication. As a rule, you most often initiate contact, but the man rejects any of your proposals for a meeting or reluctantly agrees to them.
You are used, not loved
You understand that the person you love has a lot of reasons for not breaking up with you, but none of them have anything to do with love. You simply suit the chosen one according to some certain parameters, or he sees a certain benefit for himself in his relationship with you.
Forget if he's already with someone else
Despite your feelings, the young man has decided to start a relationship or stay with another woman. Given a choice, he chose not you. Even if he continues to write to you or look for meetings, you are still in second place for him.
Circumstances are against you
He lives in another country and does not see the opportunity to move to you, just as you cannot move to him.
He cheated on you, and now he can’t decide who to stay with.
You have completely different views on your future life and no one wants to give in to each other. It becomes clear that your breakup is only a matter of time.
Why do we suffer when relationships end?
The loss of relationships is experienced not only by those who have experienced betrayal and betrayal. If the romantic relationship has been going on for a long time, then this situation will be stressful for both parties.
READ How to quickly forget a guy: proven methods and recommendations from experts
Psychology regards a couple as a dynamic balance of two characters. Moreover, over time, one of the partners begins to need the other more than the other begins to need him. In some cases, there is a strong dependence on the opinion and mood of the second person. This leads to a state of severe imbalance in the relationship, and it begins to move towards a break.
Both parties suffer during separation, but for different reasons. Abandoned because he lost his love and the person who was dear to him. And the one who abandoned - due to a sense of responsibility and guilt before the one whom he left.
Three simple steps to help you forget your loved one
Information block.
You cut off all contact with the man as much as possible. Do not try to find out anything about him directly, or by contacting your mutual friends. Do not study any changes on his pages on social networks - do not go there at all for a while, thereby depriving yourself of yet another unnecessary food for thought.
If you are used to visiting VK every day, then this point will be quite difficult for you, but for the sake of the desired result, force yourself to follow it for at least three weeks. It happens that for certain reasons it is not possible not to log into a social network - then put the man on the “black list”, depriving him of the opportunity to remind him of himself. Also ask your friends not to tell you about any changes in your lover's life.
Time for yourself.
It’s time to redirect the energy that you direct to thoughts about your loved one in a different direction. The best thing you can do in the near future is to devote yourself to self-development and take a closer look at your appearance. Do you want to call or write to your boyfriend? Instead, go to the gym for group classes - most likely, you will get more benefits from it. Take up a hobby you've been dreaming of, sign up for a new beauty treatment, or visit a spa. Devote time to yourself, and not to thinking about a person with whom you no longer have much in common except your own feelings.
New acquaintances.
You will forget your ex much faster if you meet new people. This can be facilitated by sports or dancing, concerts, various trainings and seminars, exhibitions, group tours, and targeted dating on the Internet. Even if you don't have such a desire, allow yourself to communicate with new people.
Advice from a psychologist to quickly forget the man you love
- Realize that after you finally break up with this person, your life will not end. Yes, you can significantly spoil it for yourself by continuing to worry about failed relationships, but you can also change it for the better by filling it with new activities and meetings.
- Some women find it difficult to abruptly break off contact with a person for whom they have feelings; in this case, a short delay can help. For example, promise yourself that for exactly one more week you will allow yourself to suffer, thinking about why your romance didn’t work out. You can even afford calls, messages and meetings, but all this time you must firmly know: “on such and such a date it all ends.”
- Realize that now you are beginning a different life that will flow without this person. It is logical to start a new life with some bright impressions. It is best to go on an exciting trip - you can choose to travel with a friend or visit another city alone. The main rule is that this place should not evoke memories of the person you want to forget.
What causes the fear of parting with a loved one?
Often girls stick with guys. Even if serious problems and misunderstandings arise in a relationship that prevent it from developing further, the woman is still afraid to let her lover go and start a new life. Why is this happening?
Fear of separation arises for several reasons, the main ones being:
- Serious feelings, love. The heart belongs to one man, and you don’t even look at the others.
- Attachment, habit. Occurs in long-term relationships when the couple spends a lot of time together. It's hard to imagine what you will do if this man disappears from your life.
- Fear of being alone. The girl thinks that no one will ever like her again, so the guy who is next to her is her last hope for a serious relationship.
- Forced communication. When you and your lover are connected not only by living together, but also by mutual friends or the same place of work, it is difficult to decide to separate. In this case, one of the couple will have to forget about fun gatherings in the company or change jobs.
- Having children. Afraid of hurting the child's feelings, disturbing his emotional state, or leaving him without a father, the girl cannot decide to break up with the young man.
- Material dependence. A man pays for school, a rented apartment, or even completely supports his beloved. In this case, deciding to separate means losing financial security.
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If you see that the relationship has reached a dead end and is not developing due to serious problems or misconduct on the part of your loved one, then you need to put aside the fear of separation and take this serious step.
Forget forever the loved one who betrayed you
His things and gifts
There should be no things in your home that belong to the man who betrayed you. Don't wait for him to come for them - find a way to give him all this as soon as possible. If it hurts you to look at the gifts he gave, you can give them too.
Perhaps he will refuse to take his gifts, then just throw them away. However, after a few months, you may regret getting rid of the things you actually liked, so ask your friend to keep her ex-boyfriend's gifts. After six months, decide what to do with them.
Joint photo and video
Many people, after breaking up with a partner, do not destroy his photos, believing that the pictures may well remain as memories. However, this is not the case being considered now - you want to forever forget the man who betrayed you, so without a doubt, delete photos and videos with him.
Stop communication completely
If you want to forget a person, then you need to exclude the possibility of communicating with him - do not call him, block his phone number, put him on the “black list” on social networks. Don't contact him if he initiates it.
Make new acquaintances
Don’t give up meeting with friends and fans, indulging in your depression and blues. Your task is to “pull” yourself out of a state of despondency as quickly as possible, and for this you need to be open to new experiences. Even if you go to this meeting through force, it is better than being immersed in thoughts about the past.
Forget a married man
First of all, you have to realize all the disadvantages of a relationship with a person who is already married.
He cheated on his wife, and he might cheat on you too
You may think that he cheated on his wife with you as an exception, and if you got together with him, he would remain faithful to you. Unfortunately, the fact that a man did not end one relationship and started a new one does not speak in his favor. You can never be completely sure that he does not have a mistress. It seems that your chosen one does not solve all the problems in the family in the best way - he ignores them, immersing himself in a new romance.
Your time is running out forever
You believe that meetings with a married man are not serious for you, and you can refuse them at any time. You convince yourself that this relationship is just fun and you are open to other relationships. In fact, as long as you have this man in your life, you are unlikely to decide on a new romance. Dating an unavailable guy in most cases results in a painful relationship that can last for years, taking up your time and energy.
After a couple of years, you will begin to realize that you have given too much to this novel, and you will not want to end it, hoping that your lover will still leave for you. No matter what stage your relationship with a married man is at, it’s worth breaking it off.
Dating a married man destroys your self-esteem
Maybe at first you will be flattered by the fact that for some reason a married guy became so interested in you that he even decided to cheat on his wife. At first, your meetings will be accompanied by thrills, but when you realize that your chosen one does not plan to leave his family for you, your self-esteem will begin to suffer significantly. You will see that he lives a real life with his wife - in front of his family and friends. You only have a small part of his time left: secret SMS (so that his wife doesn’t see); lonely holidays; uncomfortable conversations with your family when it comes to your personal life; and the status of a mistress itself will lose its advantages every month.
How to cut a married man out of your life
Understand that you deserve to live in a full-fledged marriage, establish small traditions in your family, celebrate the New Year and other holidays with your beloved man and other loved ones, and feel like the only one. It doesn’t matter how old you are - the sooner you realize the futility of an affair with a person who, for some reason, decided to cheat on his wife with you, the sooner your life will change for the better.
Give up meeting him and any close communication - either he finds a way to be only with you, or you must move forward without him. And, most likely, the second option would be more profitable for you.
Give a chance to new love
Give other men a chance to woo you. If during the period of dating a married man you have lost all your admirers, then this is a reason to make new acquaintances - you can even do it online. Now your basic rule: the new chosen one must be free. Allow yourself to be the woman you love who always comes first.
How to quickly forget your ex and not think about him
In order not to think about the person with whom you broke up, the most logical thing to do is to occupy your thoughts with something else.
Rearrangement will relieve painful memories
Did meetings with your loved one often take place in your apartment or did you even live together? Get rid of your ex-boyfriend's or husband's things and rearrange them. This process may seem time-consuming, but it will not only change the direction of your thoughts, but also relieve you of many unnecessary memories.
Don't visit favorite places where you were often together
Have you visited many places in the city that you both liked, and now it hurts you to drive past some cafe, cinema or shopping center? You can't avoid familiar places forever. On the contrary, you should go there as often as possible - for example, with friends or a new fan. Let nothing be associated with your former love - you can “attach” completely new associations to each place.
Allow yourself to suffer and mourn the breakup
If you just broke up with your loved one, do not smother your tears and resentment, pretending that nothing happened. Others may believe this (and it will be great if they do), but you cannot deceive yourself. Give yourself a few days to cry alone, to realize everything that happened. There's no point in getting carried away. Promise yourself that in three days or a week you will say goodbye to the past, and, having shed this emotional burden through cried tears, you will start your life with a completely clean slate.
Keep yourself busy and there won't be enough time for sadness
Don't leave yourself any free time for unnecessary thoughts. Your schedule should be tightly packed with meetings or important matters. Don't allow yourself to be alone for long. Make yourself a schedule for the next month and follow it, no matter how bad your mood is.
Why do you think that you will always remember your first love?
The unconscious formation of “first love” is inherent in a person. Let's try to figure out why youthful feelings prevail over the present. What adult life includes:
- Job;
- Life;
- Family responsibilities;
- Meetings with colleagues, friends.
An adult understands that these moments either suit him or not. All these elements are the source of routine, which, due to its monotony, turns into boredom.
It makes no sense what position one holds, whether there are scandals at work or problems with friends. Boredom is highly likely to occur.
When a person is left alone, alone with his thoughts. He tells himself that I can’t forget my first love, because everything was easy and simple there, it wasn’t boring and cold.
The main problem is the difference between accepting reality and memories.
Pleasant memories are moments in life that have been fully processed in an unconscious state. The human brain has modified the information of memories so that they are easy and convenient for later life. This has its advantage, if people remembered reality and the bad moments of life, how hard would life be for them?
How to forget someone you constantly talk to
It is not always possible to completely erase a person from your life whose relationship has ended. Perhaps you live nearby, study or work together, and changing this is problematic. In this case, follow simple rules.
When meeting him, you should not communicate with him in a particularly friendly or aggressive manner - that is, you should not be interested in his personal life, but there is also no point in turning away when he appears. The most you can do is just say hello. If you work in the same team, then its members should not observe that your relationship is tense. There is nothing wrong with discussing work or educational issues if there are good reasons for this, and not a far-fetched reason for conversation.
There is no need to turn other members of the team or company against him. Briefly make it clear that your affair is completed and you do not consider it necessary to discuss this topic. It won’t be very good if one day a man finds out that you are discussing the details of your breakup behind his back or blaming him for everything.
Don't try to find out how your ex-lover lives and who he likes now. Nothing should bind you anymore; direct your thoughts to other people.
What to do if feelings have cooled down, but he still can’t get out of his head
One of two things: either not enough time has passed, or the feelings still haven’t cooled down. Try to figure it out: do you want this relationship back? If yes, then you haven’t gotten over the breakup yet, and it’s normal to think about the person. If not, you might have something to say. There is some incompleteness left, and it needs to be sorted out. Visit our dating rating and start a new life.
If you're wondering why you can't forget the guy you liked, be more careful with the context in which he pops up in your thoughts. Find the reason why you are thinking about him and deal with that reason. Give yourself a little more time, meet with him, write and ask about what worries you - just resolve this situation.
Prayers to forget a loved one
Prayers alone will not help in this matter if you yourself do not make efforts to remove a certain man from your life, but “in combination,” of course, this can have a very positive effect.
Prayer to the Mother of God for longing for a loved one
The main thing is that you yourself want it, and you sincerely believe in the power of your prayer. There are many prayers on the Internet on the topic in question, and if you understand that this is your chance to forget your loved one, check out some of them, choosing the one that is closest to you.
