The chemistry of love: how hormones affect people's attraction to each other

How to make a girl think about you all the time

Let's take a simple route: who do you think about all the time? What did a person do that has become firmly entrenched in your thoughts? What exactly are you thinking: looking for the motivation for his actions, imagining different scenes of communication, making plans?

The answer is as simple as the question: you are excited. You did something that you didn’t expect and didn’t prepare for. Something sharp and amazing that is etched in my memory and now haunts me. After this, all you can do is go over everything in your head over and over again, trying to understand how, why and why the person did what he did to you. And think about how to deal with him further and how to carefully figure out what’s going on.

Now let’s reveal the disclaimer a little: when you are excited, the event that happened will occupy your thoughts for a maximum of a few days, until the impressions are overlaid with fresh ones. The event itself is similar to an electric shock: it is very invigorating and tonic if you do it once or twice, and leads to exhaustion if you hit it constantly. That is why methods to make a woman think only about you are used point-by-point and intermittently. Or even just at the beginning of a relationship.

Thinking about one person all the time is not convenient , not natural, sometimes it’s not even very pleasant. This is a high point of stress that you are going to cause, and you will need to ensure that this stress decreases as well. That is why trying to force a woman to run after you is an all-in game and a big risk. You need to very sensitively feel what is happening to a woman, and when to stop putting pressure and let the tension subside.

For beginners, this strategy often leads to a negative result: at some point the woman gets tired of running and leaves. Getting her back after that and starting all over again is quite difficult, since you pretty much frayed her nerves before she decided to break off the relationship.

It may seem that movement along a sine wave is appropriate here: add stress, reduce it, add it again, reduce it again. But such wave dynamics are suitable for relationships for a very small number of people. It creates a suspended state that becomes permanent for a woman due to changes in your mood and behavior. Most girls want more peace in a relationship , so you shouldn’t attract maximum attention from her all the time.

So, in order to make a girl constantly think about you, you need to properly cheer her up, cause an outburst of her emotions, and interest her.
These can be both positive and negative emotions - the latter will attract attention just as well. The only question is the criteria for the admissibility of the girl herself: if you violate them, you will lose her. I will tell you further about how exactly to cause an emotional explosion. But first, one more point about girls and care, which plays one of the key roles in this operation.

What women constantly need

You can answer this question for many hours and dozens of pages. Let's focus on several points that are important in the context of the topic raised:

• Attention
• Validation of feelings
• Calm
• New impressions

Attention is your interest in a woman. This is a demonstration that not only does she think about you and mean it, but you do the same to her. It is not difficult to manifest it. It could be anything:

• A bouquet of flowers, buying her favorite candies, fulfilling a wish she once talked about, fulfilling her requests, taking into account her interests.
• Even just remembering that you were going to go shopping with her over the weekend and adjusting your plans taking this into account is also attention.
• Remember that she loves animals and invite her to the petting zoo - attention.
• Remembering that she is allergic to citrus fruits and carrying honey and tablets rather than oranges when she is sick is attention.

It doesn't matter what exactly you do. It is important that this will be a gesture addressed specifically to her, taking into account her needs and characteristics.

Confirmation of feelings is evidence of its significance.

American psychologist Gary Chapman wrote that love has five languages: words, deeds (or help), gifts, time and tactile contact.

He was right in his assumption and helped improve the relationships of many couples by finding out how and through what each specific man and woman perceives love. Find out this about your chosen one.

What does she value more: compliments and affectionate addresses, help in matters that she herself cannot cope with, bouquets and decorations, joint evening walks or hugs and other touches?

Find out what you value more. Sharing this information will surely take the relationship to the next level, your feelings will be constantly validated through a form that you are comfortable with.

Calmness is confidence in your partner and relationship. This is her knowledge that you are faithful and will not go anywhere, that there are no secrets between you, that you trust her and that she can trust you. This knowledge is based on your behavior and position in the relationship.

New experiences are experiences that you gain together. It can be completely different: from an innocent trip to an amusement park or lunch with someone's parents to travel, moving and other drastic changes. Without such experience, relationships risk breaking on the merciless rocks of everyday life and boredom.

Hormones of love

Hormones are active regulators of human life processes, carried by the bloodstream. They affect the psycho-emotional state, behavior, and physical sensations.

The section above indicates which stages of falling in love correspond to certain substances produced by the body during this period. Below, each hormone in the “love cocktail” is described in more detail.

Dopamine

This is the main hormone responsible for the feeling of love. Its production occurs in the adrenal glands, it precedes adrenaline and norepinephrine.

The main function of dopamine is to regulate blood pressure levels. When you smell a pretty person, the level of this hormone jumps sharply. If love is unrequited, in the second phase the dopamine content decreases sharply, causing severe depression.

Serotonin

This hormone is produced by the brain. When released into the blood, serotonin causes the most positive emotions, including orgasm. With a lack of serotonin, a person falls into an anxious state, which can develop into obsessive-compulsive disorder and even depression. An excess amount of this hormone is determined by a decrease in libido (characteristic of the separation stage).

Interestingly, excess dopamine, which also characterizes the feeling of falling in love, inhibits the production of serotonin. For this reason, many people can be somewhat anxious at the beginning of a relationship, prone to mood swings.

Testosterone

This sex hormone is not unique to men; it is also present in women, but in smaller quantities. It influences the emergence of interest in the opposite sex and sexual desire.

With a lack of testosterone, a man does not experience strong sexual emotions and is not interested in meeting girls. There are some manifestations of hormone deficiency at the somatic level.

Endorphins

These are joy hormones that appear at the attachment stage.
A person is happy from a long relationship with his lover. The effect occurs on nerve receptors similar to anesthetic drugs. Accordingly, physical pain decreases, and a feeling of safety and comfort arises. For their pain-relieving effect, endorphins are called “the morphine of love.” These hormones are released during physical proximity, including intimate contact.

Estrogen

The effect of this hormone is similar to the effect of testosterone, but on the female side. The main function of estrogen is to regulate the menstrual cycle, heart function and musculoskeletal system.

Active production of this hormone occurs during the first stage of falling in love. A woman sees an attractive man and begins to feel a strong feeling of sympathy.

Pheromones

From ancient Greek, the name of these volatile compounds is translated as “carrying excitement.” A man perceives a woman’s pheromones when released through the pores of the skin without fail and evaluates them as an exciting and very pleasant effect.

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Male pheromones are sensed by women in a similar way. In addition to the arousal effect, these substances help to assess the health and immunity of the object of sympathy on a subconscious level, that is, the possibility of conceiving healthy offspring with a high chance of survival.

How to make a girl think about you

Now that you've been warned, it's time to discuss the main thing: practical methods to get maximum of her attention. Let's start with the positive and tell you how to make a girl appreciate and respect you.

• Be her hero. Provide intense experiences around you so that she feels reliable and protected. Ride a roller coaster together, bungee jump, ride it on a motorcycle or in a go-kart if you don’t have a license. Your task is to provide an adrenaline rush and care that will be fixed in her memory. With a combo like this, the overall situation will remain a disturbing but positive experience. You will want to repeat it again, and it will be healthy and safe.
• Act unexpectedly. Make surprises, come up with unusual joint entertainment, pleasantly surprise, no matter what it concerns. You can give experiences as gifts - a certificate for a tour of the rooftops, volunteering at an animal shelter, tickets to concerts of your favorite performers. Unexpected trips, romantic surprises and other sweet little things. They don't need a festive occasion.

Let's talk about negative emotions that will benefit you:

• Let in fog and mystery. Don't give the girl too much information about yourself and what is happening. Speak, but don't finish. Deliberately avoid answering some questions by laughing it off or indicating that you don't want to talk about it. Due to the lack of information, she will have something to think about, and she will become interested in you: she will want to figure it out and become a person trusted enough to get answers. Don't overdo it or be so mysterious that she'll mistake it for indifference and won't want to continue the conversation.
• Cause jealousy. If you have just started communicating, and she is already interested, but has not yet decided on the things you want, show that there are other contenders. You shouldn’t cheat, just flirt a little on the side or show that there are other girls around who are interested and communicate with you. Her hunter instinct may kick in and she will want to hold on to you.
• Manage her emotions. Manipulation is inevitable in any case: when you want to be liked, you strive to be better than you really are and to impress. Show more or less interest. Move away if she approaches confidently, and then close the distance yourself. Be either reliable and caring, or impulsive and unpredictable, evoking different emotions in her and controlling the composition of this complex cocktail. Be silent for a few days to get the girl to write first. Constantly provoke her to different but strong emotions: this will help make the girl afraid of losing you.

Stages of love

Few people have experienced love at first sight. Basically, to experience this feeling, the human brain needs to go through a certain chain of events. Namely:

• Lust. First of all, the opposite sex pays attention to the external characteristics of the person they are interested in. A few seconds are enough to decide on your likes and understand that this particular individual is the most attractive of the crowd.
• Attraction. At this stage, in addition to visual attractiveness, sexual desire and lust come into play. No matter what romantic traits we assign to the feeling of love, without sexual attraction it does not exist. A person, first of all, evaluates the external data of another person. It is important for him to understand that the interlocutor of the opposite sex satisfies his requirements as a sexual partner.

• Attachment. So we get to the feeling of love. After the brain has finally processed information about the external and intellectual data of a person we like, it is able to switch off and succumb to hormones.

How to make a girl miss you from a distance

Maintaining a long-distance relationship is not easy - without personal meetings, a decent amount of passion is often lost. New experiences become more difficult to provide, and old ones wear out and fade over time.

If you used our dating rating and found a girl, but have not met her yet, you need to find out whether she really thinks about you and whether she will miss you. Here's how to make a girl miss you from a distance:

1. Don't talk on the phone for too long or too often. Calling several times a day will become boring unless you've been in a relationship for several years. Have time to express your feelings and tell the news, but do not drag out conversations for long hours and do not call each other more than once or twice a day. Make the girl miss talking on the phone a little. So that there was no acute discomfort, but I wanted a little more.
2. Play in correspondence. This is a pleasant and spicy entertainment - flirt, exchange photos, write what you would like to do with each other. This will help the passion not fade away and add a new spark of interest to communication. It will also give you a reason for fantasizing at a time when you are not communicating.
3. Be unpredictable. She is not nearby and does not know your plans - take advantage of this. Buy her tickets to your city, send flowers to her home address, come visit as a surprise. Create pleasant surprises - they make a bright impression, cause joy and make you better in her eyes. Ideally, there should be equal amounts of spontaneity and care in such actions. They are designed to demonstrate attention and undying interest despite the distance.
4. Be more sentimental and romantic. Show her the picturesque places of the city you are in. Write that you would like to walk along its streets together at least today, and ideally every evening. Give compliments, ask for her photo, say that this city would be much better with her.
5. Make it clear that distance does not diminish its significance. Stay in touch, talk about what is happening, ask about her news. Buy her something as a gift and show it to her. Don't let travel or separation interfere with your communication. Look at a few places you would like to go to together, take a photo and show it to her. It will be especially pleasant and caring on your part to agree to come here together, choose a time and plan this trip.

Stages of falling in love

From a chemical point of view, love does not always manifest itself with butterflies in the stomach, euphoria and ease. Sudden attachment can have a negative impact on the personality. Dependence on a person, self-destruction, thirst for possession, stalking (persecution) appear.

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Falling in love is the initial stage in the development of a relationship, which logically turns into love with a favorable combination of various factors. This process is characterized by a euphoric feeling, a desire to be near the beloved, and embarrassment. The following stages are distinguished:

1. Attraction. The brain produces pheromones, followed by estrogen, testosterone and nitric oxide (a non-hormonal compound). All this causes a strong mutual attraction to the object of passion.
2. Enthusiasm. Here dopamine, serotonin and adrenaline join the “chorus”. The stage is characterized by euphoria for mutual feelings and suffering if the love is unrequited.
3. Love. At this stage, superficial attraction develops into a more serious relationship, and attachment arises. The hormones released by the body are oxytocin, vasopressin and endorphins.
4. Parting. This is a crisis stage, defined by a complete break in the relationship or the death of a partner. At this stage, the level of the hormones endorphins and serotonin decreases.

There have been many studies done on the brains of people who feel in love. Interestingly, increased activity in the lover’s brain occurs in the same areas that are activated when taking the drug cocaine.

In another study, subjects were given a mild painful stimulation while being shown a photo of a loved one. The researchers observed an anesthetic effect that was absent if the photo was replaced with an image of another person.

The lover does not see the shortcomings of the object of adoration. The lover sees them, but accepts them. This is the main difference between these feelings.