Rarely does a woman think about the question of how to stop nagging her husband. However, when the scandals reach their peak, the woman already begins to decide how not to break up with the man. He may begin to ignore her, walk around or cheat on her, which will be a consequence of her “nagging”, which she did not pay attention to as a negative phenomenon in their relationship.
Any man doesn't like being nagged. In another way it is called “taking out the brain.” Perhaps even a woman has found herself in a situation where she simply cannot understand what they want from her, why she should do what is required of her, or is not even aware of what is happening. Women go crazy, and men are blown away - the same phenomenon, only it occurs for different reasons.
The online magazine psytheater.com is at least condescending about the fact that women sometimes nag their men. However, if this happens constantly, then you should understand that soon the partner will get tired of such communication with him and he will clearly begin to hurt his lady.
How to make a row, argue, quarrel, all people know how to do this. But how to understand where scandals come from, so that they do not once again spoil relationships, few people here pay attention to this.
We can agree that scandals (quarrels, disputes, etc.) are an integral part of the life of any person. But you don’t have to make a scandal, don’t shout, don’t ruin your relationship with a quarrel, but just talk, solve the problem, look for a solution that will suit everyone.
Where do scandals come from? They are taken at the moment when people begin to shout, forget about the topic of the conversation and remember their grievances, which sometimes were inflicted on them not by those with whom they are currently communicating, but by completely different people. A man has problems at work: he has not found a common language with his colleague. That's why he can come home and yell at his children who are laughing and playing loudly. A woman, for example, may tear her favorite blouse, causing any person who speaks to her in the near future to irritate her.
Sometimes people quarrel because they are dissatisfied, offended, or upset about something. Scandals begin when people do not want to hear other people's opinions, but demand that everyone think the same way, just like them. And since people are not taught to negotiate or calmly resolve issues, quite often they resort to shouting. In your favorite TV series, the characters scream while solving some problems. In films, characters show aggression as soon as they don't like something. Quite often people observe a raised tone of voice, the use of obscene language and even assault in a simple process - solving a problem. And they begin to consider this the norm, using exactly these methods in such situations.
Where do scandals come from? You could say it’s because people don’t understand a simple thing: you can solve problems without shouting, swearing, threats and fights! Situations that need to be resolved arise for all people. But you can solve them calmly, allowing other people to think differently than you, allowing yourself to look for arguments in favor of your ideas and still look for a compromise solution. You can live without scandals and quarrels if you learn to resolve any issues peacefully and calmly, when you are respected and respected.
How to stop nagging your husband?
Almost every woman sooner or later begins to nag her man. Why is she doing this? As the women themselves say, in this way they try to point out to men their mistakes and force them to correct themselves. A woman nags means she criticizes her man in matters where he is bad. She wants him to change, to become better.
At first, the woman simply tells the man about her desire or dissatisfaction. When does she start sawing? When a man doesn’t hear her, and she has to repeat the same thing a hundred times. In other words, sawing begins at the moment when a man stops listening to a woman, taking her opinion into account, constructively conducting a dialogue, ignoring her, which is why she begins to push, because she still wants to achieve her goal.
The fewer complexes a person has, the freer a person is internally, the more self-confident he is, the easier he gives up his habits. If a person has problems, he clings to his habits, and this leads to various arguments, demandingness and despotism in relationships.
“If you love me, then love me as I am!” - this is not a requirement of a self-confident person, this is precisely a despotic instruction. And despotism is usually a sign of weakness and fear. There are simply habits that, if abandoned, a person thinks that he will lose himself. A person identifies himself through habits.
“I insisted, and he did it my way” - this is a statement of power, “who is more important in the relationship.” A person who gets his way through coercion and, accordingly, dominates, does not really love his partner. A person treats another as a thing, and not as a person. This is an unwillingness to understand what this or that habit means for another.
A wise person is the one who first tries to understand why his partner needs this or that habit, and then decides: should he change this habit or leave it, changing his attitude towards it? After all, people often express their dissatisfaction with each other's habits, not realizing that some of them are important. You don’t always need to try to change the habits of another; you can simply change your attitude towards them for the sake of your loved one.
If you talk, and not command and demand, everything can be changed with mutual desire. Human egocentrism leads to the fact that if a person does something that others do not like, then he does it on purpose to harm them. Therefore, you should think about what motivates your actions. After all, what seems like good intentions is not always so. Quite often, your actions are motivated by your desire to dominate another person.
Don't demand anything from other people. If someone is busy, keep yourself busy. If someone cannot give you attention, give it to yourself. If they don't give you money, earn it yourself. In other words, learn to solve your own issues and satisfy your needs in order to be independent from others. Do not demand anything from others, but give yourself what you need.
Many people are mistaken when they believe that others should help them, provide them with something or satisfy their needs. This is the position of a child who lives in an adult body. If you demand something from people just because they are your relatives, friends, beloved partners, then you are behaving like a child. Those around you do not owe you anything, no matter how close and dear they may be to you. Everything they have, they earned and created themselves. What have you done to ask them for what you yourself need?
Try not to demand and only ask occasionally (only when there is a need for it). Learn to provide for yourself. Be adults who create things themselves, and not children who can’t do anything and don’t want to do anything, but only cry when their whims are not satisfied. The people around you do not owe you anything, but you must provide for yourself. Moreover, you need to do this in such a way that there is enough for both you and your loved ones, that is, share what you have. This is the essence of an adult.
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Causes of family scandals
In the first place, of course, is drug addiction, alcoholism, and gambling addiction. This is, of course, a serious reason.
It is very difficult to fight the harmful habits of a spouse that destroy a family. In this case, it is difficult to advise family members. It is impossible to force a non-drinker to adjust and adapt to an alcoholic. Moreover, such cases are often accompanied by assault. This is probably just the case when you should get a divorce. Many can say that they endure because they love. This is hardly love. Most likely, the reason for patience is the fear of being left alone, not finding a new partner, lack of confidence in oneself and one’s strengths.
The issue of leadership in the family is also of great importance. The best marriages, by the way, are those where the woman very skillfully leads the man to the idea of dominance. As a rule, in such families, the man is sure that he is the head of the family and decides everything, while the woman constantly gives him smart thoughts so unobtrusively that he doesn’t even notice it and takes these thoughts for his own.
Another reason that can be quite difficult for partners to cope with is cheating on their spouse. How to behave in case of betrayal, especially if it is revealed? Here everything depends on each specific case. In any case, you shouldn’t rush off the handle and immediately file for divorce. The best way out is to sit down and talk, identify the reasons for the betrayal, and try to discuss further actions and desires. Sometimes this helps and a trusting and good relationship remains in the future.
A rather serious issue is financial. Often women plant a real bomb in their family relationships, constantly nagging their husband for not bringing enough money into the family. In fact, this is not always the case. And often the reason for a lack of money in general is its incorrect distribution and unnecessary expenses on all sorts of nonsense. It is best if spouses discuss their financial affairs, distribute everything together and decide what and where to spend, so that there is enough money for everything. And if there is a temporary crisis in this matter, maybe you should just be patient a little? Anything can happen in family life, and spouses must look for a way out of any crisis situations together. This applies to any problem that arises in the relationship between a man and a woman living in the same family.
Psychologists advise how to stop nagging your husband
Women usually think that they make their men look better when they nag. If you ask the men themselves about how sawing affects them, they will clearly show their indignation. Men get tired of sawing, and women don’t understand why men don’t listen to them.
Let's look at everything in order:
- First, a woman falls in love with a man. She either does not see any shortcomings in him, or closes her eyes to many things, believing that over time he will change for the better under the influence of love for her or under her leadership. Thus, a woman in advance connects her life with a man whom she does not like, but hopes that he will definitely change for the better.
- Time passes, and the woman begins to quarrel with the man. She is indignant when he begins to demonstrate his negative aspects of his personality. If at first a man hears her and even tries to defend himself, then he gives up when he sees that the woman does not hear him.
- Then a typical picture happens: the woman nags again, and the man pretends not to hear her. Over time, he learns to turn off his ears the moment she starts to “blow his mind” again.
What's the biggest problem? It lies in the fact that a woman does not understand some things:
- A man is already an adult and formed personality. Either you love him for who he is now, or you are looking for someone else.
- A man will always have flaws. A woman will never meet her ideal, because she doesn’t exist. Every man will have traits that she will not like.
- You must first learn to listen to a man who explains why he is not what a woman would like him to be, in order to then demand that a man hear his words.
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How does “brain drain” manifest itself?
What men call “sawing,” women consider constructive dialogue. However, the ways in which “brain removal” manifests itself are similar:
- Reminders. The woman clearly knows what the man must do and constantly points out the sequence of his actions.
- Adviсe. A woman considers herself wise and experienced, so she cannot resist the constant parting words, instructions and admonitions of a man.
- Instructions. A man turns into a mama's boy: he quietly listens to what a woman tells him and follows her every word, suggestion and decision.
- Criticism. Every action of a man causes a woman’s disapproval, so she cannot resist commenting and condemning his actions.
If a woman has a tendency to blow her mind, her relationship with a man will not be healthy and normal. In this case, constant quarrels, problems and disagreements are inevitable. Remember, a man should be the head of the family. To make a guy happy, you need to understand your role in the marriage.
School of Relationships for Women
This is probably the most important information for women's ears and eyes that you can come up with!
Dear ladies! Now sit back, put all your affairs aside, give me literally five minutes, because what I’m going to tell you now is worth so many women’s tears, crippled destinies and collapsed relationships that you simply can’t imagine!
I say this without a hint of irony - everything is very serious!
So, listen and remember: never, under any circumstances, “nag” your man!!!
Never speak to him in a disrespectful, much less arrogant or contemptuous tone!
You need to understand that with this action you, with the help of the largest excavator in your city, are digging a grave for your relationship!
Why should you never nag a man?
Because any normal man considers himself smart enough not to be told what to do. If he is constantly being told what he should (or should) do, then he feels that he is not accepted for who he really is . He is not appreciated. He's not good enough!
And this is the strongest pain point of any man. This is a terrible blow to his pride!
One of the fundamental laws of any man’s personal code is the independence of his personality and the independence of his thinking. If you infringe on a man's holy of holies - his EGO - one of two terrible things will happen.
Your man will either quietly fade away from you (if circumstances allow, and he does not have too many moral obligations to you, your children or other members of your family), or he will distance himself from you, like the Earth from the Sun in winter, and go headlong into Men's favorite means of self-care are alcohol and partying.
Tell me honestly - do you need this? I think not at all.
What to do in a situation when your loved one does not act at all as you would like?
I recommend a simple method - talk to him! As much as possible!
Don’t take him for a telepath who guesses all your thoughts and who knows what your parents used to do!
Forget such expressions as: - Isn’t it clear that... - How many times can you repeat that... - Is it really impossible... - And who should do... - That’s what I thought... And so on.
Just sit him next to you and calmly tell him how you feel. Tell us that you are very uncomfortable when his socks are scattered all over the apartment, that you were scared when you almost broke your leg in the closet, that it is dark for you to read your favorite book in the toilet because the light bulb burned out 3 months ago...
And after he rushes to fix everything, don’t forget to thank him kindly and add at the same time that he’s the best!
Yes, yes, try to do exactly this sequence of actions! Nothing will dry out on you, don’t worry! You will lose absolutely nothing, and you can win a lot!
The man is a professional problem solver! If you talk about a problem that worries you in a gentle manner, believe me, he will not leave any stone unturned if the solution lies within his range of possibilities!
So, a very important rule that can change everything in your relationship tomorrow - stop nagging!
To be continued…
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