Why doesn't the girl write first or call, but always answers?

Should a guy text a girl first?

If you don't know each other, to interest her

Of course, if you want to get to know the person you like, and hope to arouse reciprocal interest on her part, then it is quite natural to write first. Some guys, wanting to attract the attention of a person, simply like her photo or simply add her as a “friend”. They sincerely believe that they have taken the “first step”, and now it’s up to the potential interlocutor. However, the vast majority of girls have a completely different opinion on this matter. Sure, it's possible that your photo or special information on your page "speaks for itself," but often that's not the case.

If your acquaintance did not attract her

Here you need to look at the situation. If you were not able to immediately interest the lady sufficiently, then, most likely, subsequent attempts should still be postponed for some time - from several days to several months. It is obvious that today you do not arouse her interest, and if you absolutely want to win the favor of this particular girl, you should show her that some changes are taking place in your life that, in your opinion, will interest her. Seeing this, most likely, she will get in touch herself or will be more willing to respond to your next message after a while.

After the first meeting

Of course, after such a meeting you should write to the girl or call. Moreover, this is usually what women expect. They need confirmation that everything went well, that they met expectations, and if the guy is silent after the meeting, this can cause anxiety in the young lady. However, sometimes this anxiety can play into your hands. And yet, situations are different, if you have a goal to hook a girl who has not yet shown strong and obvious interest, then write to her not immediately after the meeting. But if your chosen one sincerely likes you, and she openly demonstrates this, then show reciprocal attention and, if possible, show your interest.

Reasons for sudden changes in the behavior of the beloved

When a relationship with a woman developed harmoniously, but gradually began to fade away, it’s time to start sounding the alarm. Before you start resuscitating feelings, consider all the possible reasons for sudden changes on the part of your beloved:

The woman took a break from the tender display of feelings to sort them out. Different tastes and views on life can provoke a lady to reassess her values. Girls who want to start a family take their choice of life partner seriously, so any mistake on his part can make them doubt their choice.

READ How to painlessly part with a loved one: advice from a psychologist

If a girl suddenly stops contacting her beloved man and communicating with friends, such behavior may indicate problems in her life. When a young lady is not used to crying and complaining about the vicissitudes of fate, she will prefer to solve all the troubles that arise alone. To preserve energy and fortitude for this period, she will exclude entertainment and contacts.
Men prefer to win women's hearts with their actions and sparkling humor. If the girl stopped communicating as before, it means that the young man’s witty joke could seem offensive to her.
A lady can abruptly stop communicating with a man because of deception. If a woman has learned the terrible truth that a guy has been trying to hide for a long time, then talking in this case is unnecessary.
If a girl’s friends told her tall tales about a young man, and she believed them, then the sudden changes in her beloved’s behavior are not surprising.
The cause of unpleasant changes in a person can be the notorious game of “cat and mouse”. After reading glamor magazines, the lady decided to play with the guy’s feelings, either letting him in or pushing him away.

Being busy at school or work is a serious reason for reducing the quantity and quality of communication. If a girl has a session or a quarterly report coming up, do not demand increased attention, otherwise you will encounter irritation and aggression from your beloved. Everyone can get tired, including a friend.
If a woman has stopped communicating with her lover as before, the cause of unpleasant metamorphoses may be banal anger or resentment. Remember if you spoke negatively about the girl’s parents or if you missed her birthday.
A lady's feelings may cool down due to a flaring passion for another man. Not every young lady can admit this frankly. Fear, confusion in her head and thoughts provoke her to keep the guy in love with her “in reserve.”

Having found out the cause of the problem, it will be easier to make the right decision to eliminate it. The main thing is to forget about intrusiveness and rudeness. Try to calmly discuss all your experiences with your loved one. A heart-to-heart conversation will help put everything in its place.

READ What to do if your girlfriend leaves you

Should a girl text first?

In general, if a girl is interested enough in you, then she may well write herself. She may also take this step if you are a fairly popular person. It may be that you simply don’t know each other yet, but she knows something about you in absentia, and she is attracted to it - in this case, she may also be the first to show interest.

Of course, when communication between interlocutors proceeds in a normal manner, it does not matter which of them initiates the conversation. If the girl is not sure that you are waiting for her message, then she is unlikely to send it to you.

Warnings

If you don't respect a girl's personal space or she has a hard time communicating with you, ask her if she likes dealing with you. If she doesn’t like it, forget about her, otherwise everything will end in rejection (if not from the girl, then from her suspicious and caring parents).
Don't insist! It looks weird even when a guy is just talking to a girl.
In fact, many actions can make you afraid if you do not feel that the girl has tender feelings for you. Even if everything is going in your favor, from the outside it may seem that you are in a desperate and disastrous situation.

Perhaps you have ever had a girl who, as a rule, does not call first, is not interested in what you are doing now, and writing a banal message to her is also a burden.

There are different cases, for example, a girl may not call after the first date, giving the man the opportunity to make a correct assessment of their future relationship, thereby waiting for the first step from him. It's a completely different matter if a girl doesn't call first when you're already in a long-term relationship.

Sometimes men get the impression that such a girl simply doesn’t care where he is, who he spends time with, and whether everything is fine with him in general. And if he stops calling, then their relationship will simply burst like a soap bubble and she herself, probably, will not know that this has already happened.

The most interesting thing is that when you call this type of woman, she talks to you quite nicely and tenderly, asks all sorts of questions and, as she says, is incredibly happy about your call. So why doesn't she call first?

The girl doesn't call because of principles

No matter how strange it may seem, a girl can neither write nor call first because of her principles. Since childhood, girls have been taught by their parents that the boy should be the first to show attention, etc.

And now she, already, as an adult girl, again begins to wait and adhere to the previously laid down opinion, when he will be the first to meet, when he will be the first to invite you on a date, when he will be the first to kiss, take her hand and declare his love.

It would seem that it would be difficult to pick up the phone and dial the guy first, but no, the girl thinks that if she does this, she will be humiliated, insulted, etc. In general, its principles will simply be violated.

Reasons why she doesn't write or call first

She doesn't want to seem intrusive

Perhaps this is one of the most common reasons why girls do not write first. Even if you have already made it clear to her in every possible way that you are interested in her, there is a fear in her that she will seem intrusive. In turn, when you send SMS first, she calms down, again and again noting to herself that your interest in her has not disappeared anywhere. As a rule, after this, further dialogue is built quite easily. A girl can develop this behavior on a subconscious level - perhaps she was once rejected by someone, or since childhood she has had an attitude in her head that “decent girls should not run after boys.”

She's afraid of seeming unclaimed

Some girls don't write first because they think that their message will show the guy that they have no fans. Yes, this is such a difficult connection. Some people believe that a potential chosen one should feel a little competition at the initial stage of acquaintance or relationship.

In her understanding it looks like this. She is online, but she is silent - therefore, she is communicating with someone else, which means that she is interesting to someone else. Conclusion: You need to text her if you want her attention. In this case, in fact, there may not be any “other”, but the girl really wants you to be wary of this. This behavior is typical for girls who like to provoke their partner to jealousy.

She's not interested in you

Unfortunately, this outcome is also quite possible. While you think that she is embarrassed to write and is waiting for you to remember about her, the girl simply does not think about you. Not only does she not want to write to you, but she also has no great desire to answer. For this reason, she replies almost every other time, and her messages are not particularly meaningful.

She thinks you're interested in someone else

Perhaps the girl believes that there is a lover in your life, and therefore prefers not to get involved in your relationship and not create problems for you. This situation can happen if you don’t know your interlocutor well and she is not yet very aware of all the details of your personal life. At the same time, on your page on a social network there are photos with another person, or some user actively leaves some likes or comments on your “wall” under your posts.

She doesn't like to communicate online or on the phone.

Perhaps your chosen one is one of those people who use social networks and the phone only to set up a real meeting. It is quite possible that she does not like virtual communication, without eye to eye contact and the like. It is worth noting that few young ladies have this feature, but they still exist.

She has a lot to do

We are talking about a person who has a very busy daily routine. Of course, sometimes she can get distracted and write first, but most often she simply reacts to the messages that come to her. Moreover, she does not do this on purpose - being involved in some business, she really does not record who exactly wrote first, but simply communicates when such an opportunity arises.

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The girl doesn’t write or call first, what should I do?

Get the girl back

The girl doesn’t write or call first, what should I do?

Every guy in a relationship has had a moment when his girlfriend stopped texting and calling him first. Although if the guy took the initiative and called and wrote himself, then the girl talked to him very nicely, warmly and pleasantly, but she herself was not the first to get in touch. And it seems like nothing terrible is happening, but there is still some tension.

Naturally, the first thought in a guy’s head, after such cold behavior from his girlfriend, is the impending separation. This means that the guy starts fussing and running around his girlfriend to prevent her from leaving. And these actions cause even bigger problems, which ultimately lead to separation. And now we will talk about how this can be avoided.

Why does a girl stop writing or calling?

There are exactly two situations that explain this girl’s behavior, and both of them cannot be called positive for you.

Silence and ignore. If you see that a girl begins to write to you less and less often, your communication with her turns into insipid standard phrases, and sometimes she even ignores you for a week, then I have bad news for you - THIS IS A DRAIN.

This is the way girls “politely” send guys they are no longer interested in. And the reason here is not some mistake or miscalculation of yours, but a banal mismatch of interests and expectations. For example, a girl is looking for a mature guy of about 24 years old with a job and his own place to live, and you are still a romantic 18 year old student. Does this mean you are bad? – No, it’s just a mismatch of expectations.

Loss of influence in relationships. If a girl doesn’t write or call you first, but responds to your messages joyfully and positively, then this means that she is pulling the blanket over herself.

In a relationship, one person always copes with the whims, and the other endures all this, takes the first steps (for example, is the first to write after a quarrel), makes concessions and bends. And this can be observed in absolutely every relationship.

Therefore, if you don’t want to write first, but you have to do it, because otherwise your girlfriend will remain silent, then you are weak and “bending” in the relationship.

I want to note right away that there is nothing wrong with writing and calling first. Both a girl and a guy can do this, this is the norm. But if this state of affairs becomes categorical, when one always writes first, and the second remains silent until the bitter end, then this is already a problem.

Who should write first?

Our custom is for the guy to write and call the girl first. This is a kind of tradition, and everyone understands it. However, this is typical for the period of dating and seduction, the first month and a half. Then the relationship should move to equal and open communication, where both the guy and the girl can take the initiative. Therefore, some conclusions:

When dating a girl, writing to her first is the norm.
In relationships, people should take the initiative on both sides.
Getting a girl to start writing first is real.

While you are seducing a girl, you must take the initiative and win her attention, because you are a man. But in a relationship, the girl herself must hold on to you and remind you that she is your beloved, she is still yours, she is here.

What to do if a girl stops writing and calling

Step – 1. Determine the cause.

First, you determine the reason why the girl stopped writing to you, we discussed this at the beginning of the article. If a girl is leaking, then this article will help you, if this is a loss of influence, then go to step 2.

Step -2. We include the principle of fighting for respect.

It consists in the fact that you flexibly use your time with the girl. In some situations you give the girl all your attention, while in others you completely close yourself off from the girl and switch to your own affairs. By doing this, you show the girl that she is not the most important thing in your life.

In a competent combination, these actions create an incredible sexual effect and the girl begins to want you, because you play with her like a naughty girl and provoke her to an emotional reaction. She starts writing to you, calling you, taking an interest in your life.

The correct use of this principle is to find the optimal balance specifically for your girlfriend. For example, you push her away from you a little, then pull her in, push her away a little more and pull her in some more.

Therefore, you need to gradually increase your own time and independence from the girl (when you don’t write to her and feel good). This will show the girl your strength and she will start clinging to you. She will already begin to bend under you.

The mistake most guys make is that they immediately turn on “Macho”, which insults the girl and starts to look stupid. Your task is to make this transition from a dependent guy to an independent one very calmly and slowly, so that the girl does not see your purposeful changes.

Step – 3. Consolidate the result.

Once your girlfriend gets used to the fact that you respect your personal time, you will need to burden her with tasks and assignments that will make her feel attached to you.

For example:

Masha, call me tomorrow at 6 o'clock. I will go on important matters, I will need to decide one thing with you.
Great, write to me when you get home from school tomorrow. I can sleep, but write anyway, I’ll wake up and answer.

And gradually the girl will get used to the fact that she writes to you first, and then you discuss some issue with her. However, if you try to do this without going through step 2, nothing will work.

Good luck and have girls call you every day.

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The girl stopped writing, what should I do?

To begin with, it is important to determine why this happened. If the girl “stopped” writing first, then it means that she used to do this, at least periodically. So what factors could change this?

She "took the first step"

For many girls, writing first is a rather serious step in dating or relationships. By writing to you, she thereby demonstrated her interest in your person and made it clear that she was willing to communicate. Now, in her understanding, you have made certain conclusions, and nothing prevents you from taking reciprocal steps.

She became interested in someone else

Perhaps the young lady wrote to you first only until she met another young man she was interested in. If she is committed to building relationships, she will probably focus on the most promising option and will not be scattered in several directions at once. Apparently, for some reason, the choice was not made in your favor.

She's tired of taking the initiative herself

For a period of time, she always or almost always wrote to you first, and one day she simply got tired of it. Perhaps she decided that she takes the initiative too often, and this is not entirely correct. She could also assume that since she regularly has to initiate dialogue, then you yourself are not too interested in this. This state of affairs could offend or upset her, so in the end she simply decided not to write anymore herself. In this case, most likely, she will react positively to your initiative - for her this will be confirmation that, after all, you were not answering her out of politeness, but were really interested.

There are no visible reasons and no communication either: why?

Human relationships are a complex and confusing area. Sometimes couples break up for completely trivial reasons. Sometimes people who have known each other for years can suddenly stop communicating. And if the girl you love does exactly this, it’s best not to guess, but to ask her a direct question. Most likely, the reason for her behavior will be one of those that is included in the list of the most common ones. What are these reasons?

In first place in terms of prevalence, of course, is resentment. The young lady is simply angry, and the reason may be so simple that a representative of the stronger sex, going through all his misdeeds from the great flood, simply will not guess about it.

And then there are girls who are as easy to offend as sneezing, because they have mastered the role of the victim a long time ago and play it with great pleasure. And if a young man comes across just one like this, he should seriously think about whether he wants the grudge games to continue forever. If not, you should take advantage of the fact that the girl stopped writing first and break off such a relationship.

Another reason why this could happen is due to differences in interests. Most often, short-term communication ends because of this: the girl simply does not see herself next to the young man and at the same time does not consider herself obligated to explain her behavior to him.

It is quite possible that she is absolutely right - and since a couple cannot be partners, it is worth looking for one who can and will not interrupt communication for no reason at all.

Being busy with family matters, school or work is a really serious reason. Not all representatives of the stronger sex believe that a girl can be so busy that she does not have a minute to write. But situations are different, so if you really like her, it makes sense to wait.

Finally, the saddest reason will be the desire to break up - not in the most pleasant way, of course, but many resort to it - and not only girls, but also young men, I must say. So if your beloved not only does not write herself, but also does not answer calls and messages, it is most likely not worth insisting.

The young lady always writes first, what does it mean?

She likes to be the "leader"

You've probably heard that in almost every relationship there is a leader and a follower. As a rule, in couples the man becomes the leader, but this does not change the fact that some women prefer to reserve this right for themselves. There may be certain reasons for this behavior. Perhaps the girl previously came across infantile men who were unable to build full-fledged relationships. Now the girl prefers to take everything into her own hands, starting with correspondence.

She's in love

It is possible that Mademoiselle has sincerely fallen in love with you, and it is quite natural for her to write to you first. Moreover, she does not see anything wrong with this at all, and simply rejoices at any opportunity to communicate with you. She can openly write that she was waiting for you on the Internet, bombard you with a lot of questions, and so on.

She is bored

The girl does not write first not only to you, but also to some other people. The reason is quite trivial - she is simply bored and does not know what to do with herself. Having seen a person interesting to her on the Internet, she enthusiastically enters into correspondence, thereby simply “killing time.”

She is jealous

She wants her to be the main reason you go online in the first place. Fearing that this may not be confirmed, she acts proactively - she interests you first. In this way, she develops in you the awareness that she is invariably present in your life. She may also be afraid that if she leaves you “unattended,” you will begin to show interest in someone else, so she always tries to be in your field of vision.

The girl doesn't write, but she answers

This situation is also common among the fairer sex. Here we will also tell you why girls often choose this line of behavior.

Doesn't know how to start a dialogue. Sometimes it is simply difficult for a lady to be the first to raise any topic of conversation; perhaps she is not yet aware of what is interesting to you and what is not.
She's in love. Yes, yes, this may well be the case too. The girl is afraid to write something herself because she is overwhelmed with strong feelings, in this case it is better for the young man to take the initiative into his own hands.
The desire to show your popularity. The lady doesn’t want you to think that she is resourcefully writing to you online, only because she has no one else to talk to, and creates a certain illusion of communicating with anyone for you.

Of course, it’s best not to resort to fortune telling methods, but to ask yourself what’s the matter; this will be the best solution for both you and your girlfriend.

The girl does not show initiative

In fact, young ladies in general do not very often take the initiative in making acquaintances or building relationships, but this especially begins to catch the attention of men when they themselves are very interested. Of course, in return they want to get at least a little initiative, and, not achieving what they want, they begin to wonder: “Why is this happening?” The answer may be quite simple.

She willingly communicates and responds to SMS

In this case, she simply does not believe that she should take the initiative. For some reason, she just doesn't think it's right. Most likely, this attitude has been going on since early adolescence, so it will be very difficult, and maybe even impossible, to break it. By her activity in answers, she seems to show you that she really has an interest in you and is glad to communicate with you. Meanwhile, it doesn’t even occur to her that you can expect something more. Most likely, she is simply convinced that a decent young lady should not impose herself on a guy, even if we are talking about correspondence. It is customary for a young man to court his chosen one, and not vice versa, and in the minds of many girls, initiating a dialogue is one of the elements of courtship. That is why the girl does not write first - it seems simply unnatural to her in the initial stages of rapprochement.

It may be that she is really interested in you, but she is simply embarrassed to write to you, not being sure whether you will answer or what you are waiting for a message from her. However, having received a message from you, she willingly answers, because she understands that her interest is still mutual.

Reasons why a woman does not start a dialogue

The most common reasons why a friend may not send messages or delays answering actually have a very simple solution. For example: she doesn't want to bother the person or seem annoying. Relevant for people who are at the very first stage of a relationship - dating. An acquaintance is afraid of you, or the interlocutor did not attract her to continue the dialogue and write first.
This reason is also suitable for a girl who is in love with her interlocutor. Usually, they either send messages too actively, or are silent, but happily respond. This can also include excessive intrusiveness on your part. Or an important event happened in a girl’s life that you don’t know about. If you have recently started communicating, you may not know about your friend’s birthday. After she appears online, ask a friend for her Date of Birth and exchange yours.
It often happens that a friend abruptly stops writing first (the dialogue has ended) and does not visit the messenger at all. This means that she does not have access to the social network. Perhaps she forgot her password or the page was blocked, or she was busy with something. If the lady has stopped both writing and answering, but you are not in a quarrel with her, then there is a high probability that she is busy with something, so she cannot answer the phone. Also check the traffic of your interlocutor’s account on other social networks.
Another reason is improper upbringing. In modern society, it is considered indecent when a girl herself completely takes the initiative. Often, ladies are brought up with the idea that the guy should do everything himself, while the girlfriend plays love with the interlocutor. By ignoring you, a woman wants to make you jealous or nervous. But women love when they are pursued!
The guy, taking the reason upon himself, thinks about the actions he committed earlier. He remembers everything he did wrong or could have done, but stopped in time. There may even be a series of apology messages. If this sounds familiar to you, then the woman succeeds!
She may have a boyfriend, but the relationship with him is unpleasant. If she doesn't send a message first, but responds, then there is a chance that she is not happy with the real relationship. Otherwise, if your friend stops answering or responds monotonously, everything is fine with her relationship. What if you were offended by your interlocutor and stopped communicating after a quarrel? A fairly common reason, in which there is one problem - it is not clear what the lady of the heart was offended by. Ask for forgiveness or at least find out where you did wrong.

Now that the search for the cause is complete, move on to solving the problem.