Reasons for the long response
A long answer is a delay of several minutes to several hours.
1. The girl doesn’t like to text each other (this is my case). I can see the message in the announcement that is displayed when a notification is given to read its beginning, but I don’t like typing on my smartphone so much that I forget about them very often. And this is not only with guys - girlfriends can also wait for my answer late at night, when I go to bed and, out of boredom, go to the messenger before going to bed.
That is, it’s just a human characteristic. Yes, I often have my phone in my hands, I use it to take pictures (of children, for example), and keep track of the time. But I brush away the messages. Then, when I feel like it, I’ll read it. Almost all of my chats are set to “no notifications”. So like this. Happens.
2. She is too busy to answer now. Work, urgent household chores, guests, busy hands - in general, objective reasons for which there is no point in making excuses. And after them, some other circumstances arose. In general, the message returns after some time.
3. You write boring and uninteresting things. But she still likes you, and she sluggishly tries to keep the conversation going. Or he responds out of politeness, sending a one-word answer or an emoticon.
To prevent this from happening, find out what to write to a girl to make her feel good: 6 torpedoes (opens in a new tab)
4. No mood at the moment (but will appear later). You can twist it at your temple at this point, however, this is a common cause in girls who are more susceptible to the influence of emotions than men. This does not depend on you, these are our personal characteristics.
5. Maybe on a business trip or where there is poor communication (at the dacha).
6. Doesn’t know what to answer, is shy or collecting thoughts. He wants you to like him, so he thinks for a long time about the answer.
7. Your message is narrative. She read and took note. What's the answer here? But after some time I remembered you and decided to write something.
What not to do if a woman ignores you?
- Don't be needy. If a girl suddenly stops texting or talking, there is no need to write message tones. This will make you seem desperate and needy. Instead, give it some time and see how things develop.
- Do not be angry. Anger and anger worsen any chances of a successful continuation of the relationship. Instead, try to remain calm and move on to more important things.
- There is no need to try to contact her through friends, acquaintances, or relatives. This will again show immaturity and make you seem needy.
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about the author
Julia
Want to know how to achieve your life goal? This blog will help you learn how to apply psychology to your relationships, health and well-being. My goal is to teach my readers how to maximize their effectiveness in life.
How to behave in the case of the light version of ignore
I will offer several options that can save the current situation.
1. Try sending voice messages instead of text messages, or alternate.
2. Be positive. Don't take silence personally.
3. Increase the pause between your messages, do not repeat them. Give her time to miss you.
4. Make sure that this is not the only girl you are currently talking to. Firstly, you will not be so dependent on it in case of prolonged silence, and secondly, you will be distracted and switch your attention, perhaps to a more interesting option.
5. Perhaps your phrase caused mixed emotions in her - something too frank or personal (about the past). Keep an eye on this. This applies not only to communication with girls.
6. Don’t drag out the correspondence, try to move the meeting into real life as quickly as possible. Ask her out on a date.
Find out How to Ask a Girl Out on a Date: Easy Ways (Opens in a new tab).
If you don’t have any serious problem, then you shouldn’t bother with the question of a long answer from a penpal girl. Just take it as a normal occurrence. Don't look deeply for the reason for this behavior. This is the kind of young lady you have - not a fan of constantly holding the phone in her hands. Well, if you’re an amateur, then...
Why did the woman stop writing?
But you should understand that the reason for a long silence in response to a message sent to a young girl may not only be a new young man.
There are many other options that can explain the delay in sending a response message.
Therefore, before taking any drastic measures, it is necessary to determine as accurately as possible the true reason for such silence.
Causes
Today, psychologists and behavioral analysis specialists identify several main factors due to which girls often do not respond to messages sent to them by young people:
- Waiting for a real meeting. No matter how trivial it may sound, quite a large number of girls really prefer to communicate in real life rather than by correspondence.
- Very busy. Perhaps she is just really busy with other things - being at a meeting, at a doctor's appointment, or simply doing household chores. Not all girls always carry their phone with them and are ready to give up important things just to instantly respond to messages that come to them.
- There is no access to the phone, and this also happens. The device may simply be discharged, the money in your account may run out, or the smartphone may have been completely forgotten at home.
- Inability to interest a correspondent. Often, most guys limit themselves to very banal phrases that you simply don’t want to answer every time. Therefore, it is worth showing a little originality.
- Lack of mood or quarrel the day before. Sometimes young girls begin to deliberately ignore messages that come to them. In this way, they seem to show young people their resentment or apathy. Only now, the opposite sex does not always correctly evaluate such deliberate ignorance.
- Ignorance or misunderstanding of what they want to get from her in response.
- Feminine tricks. Among the fair sex, there is a fairly widespread opinion that the more you need to interest a man in you, the more and more he should be ignored. But few of them understand that they should stop in time.
These reasons are most often the main answer to the question of why a girl does not respond to messages.
Reference! At the same time, either one of them or several at once can serve as a justification for that action.
Why people read but don’t respond to messages is explained in the video:
Writes in monosyllables
Equally perplexing are banal monosyllabic responses to messages, such as:
- Yes;
- No;
- Fine;
- May be;
- Don't know;
- and so on.
Such answers often confuse the interlocutor, because there is a feeling that they simply do not want to maintain a dialogue with him.
There may be several reasons for this girl’s behavior:
- Wrong question. Most of them can only be answered in monosyllables.
- Very busy.
- Lack of desire or ability to create constructive dialogue.
- Incorrect behavior of a young person, for example, strong assertiveness or, conversely, apathy.
Important! We should not forget about the right to remain silent, which every person has. Perhaps your interlocutor is simply not in the mood and in order not to offend with her silence, she answers in monosyllables.
In any case, in such situations you can do the following:
- Try to open up the conversation and take it in a new direction.
- Stop communication temporarily or permanently.
Each young person decides independently which scenario to choose, depending on his mood and the ultimate goal of such virtual communication.
The real reason why a girl doesn't respond to messages
If your message hangs unanswered for more than 6-8 hours (or even days!), and even worse, if you know that this person never leaves his phone, then I won’t beat around the bush: there is only one reason - she’s not interested .
She is not interested in further continuing the development of such communication. There may be many explanations for this reason, but the essence will not change:
1. She has another man.
2. You took the phone for one invented purpose (cunning pickup tricks), but in reality you start writing about something completely different.
3. She was waiting for the relationship to develop, but you delayed it, and the girl lost interest. If a man does not initiate a quick meeting after exchanging several messages, then many girls become disappointed and switch to other, more active guys.
What to do if a girl continues to ignore you?
Is it worth it to keep trying if the girl continues to ignore you? There is no clear answer to this question! On the one hand, perseverance has repeatedly saved lost relationships and helped restore desire and interest.
On the other hand, some attempts may be too flimsy, unfounded and will never yield results. In this case, the easiest way is to score and meet a girl on VK.
It is important to understand that if there is no reaction, you should first gain experience and change your approach to communication, and then wait for the result. If this does not happen, it is likely that you will have to deal with silence constantly (read: what to talk about with a girl on VK).
Faced with silence? Start working on yourself, on your own skills and take everything into your own hands! Practice in the application - Lovina on VK.
What to do if she doesn't want to answer
The most important thing I want to say is: men, never communicate with girls from a lower position. None:
“Thank you for answering!”
“I’m so glad you’re talking to me,”
“I’m glad you paid attention to me.”
NO! We want to see men, males, a stone wall next to us, and not such an insecure creature who is delighted that he was allowed to hold on to his skirt.
Once again, this is the most important thing: it is important to be on top, to initiate, to dominate.
Boost your confidence! Be bold! (But not rude). Have your clear position and point of view on every issue. I'm not saying that you should go to extremes and become a tyrant. No, relationships are ruled by compromises and the ability to hear your partner.
But when a girl is waiting for you to silently take her hand and lead her in the direction you want, and you just write SMS and make joyful epithets about how lucky you are to meet her - this causes pity. I feel sorry for him, so unhappy and wretched. Finally someone picked it up. Damn, is that me? And for what? Well, I do not.
This is roughly the line of thinking.
You don't risk anything - go ahead and invite her. Since the reason is “not interesting,” but you want to communicate with her, then be persistent and create conditions for creating this interest. This can only be done by meeting and communicating live.
Read, Where to invite a girl on a date - 27 cool places (opens in a new tab).
There is a high probability that she simply does not know you and the kind of guys who write to her in her car. So stand out. While you are wasting time, another man who has more courage will invite her.
Improve your relationships, take them to a new level, don’t sit with your phone waiting for the weather by the sea. Make the weather yourself!
How to regain a girl's interest: simple techniques and ready-made text templates
The most obvious way to attract a lady's attention is to talk about what she loves.
If she is interested in art, you can talk about it. But you shouldn’t pretend to be an expert if in practice this is not the case. This will irritate the interlocutor, and then she will definitely stop responding to messages.
It is recommended not to try to stand out and be yourself. You can feel the pretense even in correspondence, so you won’t be able to start an interesting dialogue. You can also talk about what interests the young man.
The following topics are suitable:
- favorite literary authors;
- science articles;
- cinema;
- dreams and plans for the future;
- cooking;
- sport;
- trips.
You shouldn’t talk about things that will make you look unfavorable, but lying and embellishing is also not recommended. After a short conversation, you can ask for contacts and ask permission to make a call.
Getting a number will be the next step in developing acquaintance. A couple of days after talking on the phone, you can agree on a walk or going to the cinema.
You can use ready-made tips, but you shouldn’t get carried away with them.
Here are examples of how to communicate with the lady you like:
- "Hello. I saw on the page that you are drawing. Your work is very interesting. I would like you to tell me a little more about yourself.”
- "Hello. I wanted to know what works of authors you are interested in. I think we have a lot in common."
- “Wow, on your wall are the same music tracks that I recently listened to. Maybe you can share some of your other music with me?”
Wrong reaction from guys: I forbid you to do that!
1. Be happy about her message so that she can see it.
“Hurray, you answered!”
You might think that you are so worthless that no one answers you or talks to you at all. And here she is, the goddess. This lowers your value in her eyes. And in our own too.
2. Express dissatisfaction with a long answer.
“Damn, it took me 3 hours to answer. What's taking so long?
“So where did you go? I’m actually sitting here waiting.”
And everything like that. What's the message? Shame? Or find out the real reason? If you want to know the reason, ask normally:
“Lenok, are you busy now? You answer for a long time. Let's chat later then. Write when you’re free, if I’m free, we’ll talk.”
You are impatient and want quick reactions and results. But from the outside it looks like you don’t take into account her interests and affairs in real life. Yes, she read it because your message is important to her. But I haven’t found the time to answer yet - they distracted me, for example.
At the dating stage, you already begin to make claims. What will you be like next? All this flies through her head and the conclusion is clear.
3. Write to her:
“I see that you are online and read my message.”
“So there’s time to like posts, but there’s no time for me to reply?”
This formulation smacks of persecution mania. Instead of going about your (interesting) business, you monitor how and when she viewed the message, her online and other activities. I’ll tell you honestly, for me personally, such shots immediately end up in a ban or blacklist. I wish I could report to a man I don’t know much about what I’m doing and when.
If you want such a fate, please, you can also threaten, insult or send - your choice. Fuck it, so with the music.
Chatting in Internet
You met a beautiful lady on social networks and you actively communicate every day. Last night we wished each other good night, exchanged kissing emojis, and today for some reason she begins to freeze from you. If you usually feel mutual interest and joy in communication, then you notice “cold” and very long answers.
What might this look like? Instead of detailed messages, she writes briefly and distantly: “yes”, “no”, “maybe” and so on. In addition, she shows absolutely no interest in you: you ask a question, she answers briefly, but doesn’t ask you anything. The worst option is when you see that your messages are read, but are completely ignored.
Hi, friend! Especially for you, I have prepared the course “Student. Natural seduction" for only 1490 rubles! Follow the link and order —> Of course, it is sometimes difficult to apply standard schemes for determining a person’s mood to online communication. However, if the style of communication has changed dramatically, it is immediately obvious and most likely the reason lies in some kind of resentment towards you personally. If a girl responds coldly to messages, it is possible that some kind of trouble has happened in the girl’s life or she has simply lost her mood, but she would probably talk about it if she is interested in your support.
Reasons for changes in online communication
In most cases, guys are to blame, making gross mistakes in correspondence that repel girls. Let's look at some of them:
- Obsessiveness. A lot of attention is not always good. If you show excessive interest by constantly asking what she does or asking strange personal questions, then you can put the lady on guard. Besides, if you write too often, you show that you really need to communicate with her. Ironically, this lowers your value in her perception.
- Unnecessary liberties on your part. If it seems that after the first active dialogue you already have the right to speak vulgarly or as a full-fledged owner of the girl, then this is not so. With an impudent comment on a photo you can ruin all positive communication and even get blacklisted. What joy!
- Banality. You tried to be original when meeting and showed yourself as best you could with a great sense of humor and conversation on mutually interesting topics.
Handsome, you attracted a girl! Now, be kind, stick to a close level and don’t slide into the banal: “how are you?”, “What are you doing?” Otherwise, you will soon notice that the girl is acting cold. At first it may work, but later the lady will lose interest in you and find a more curious interlocutor.
What to write to a girl if she ignores her?
If it is possible to resume interesting communication when a girl behaves coldly, then if you completely ignore the messages, the chances are much less. Sometimes, in such a situation, it is better to give up and find a new interlocutor without repeating past mistakes. But if you really want to, you can try to resort to the following actions:
- intrigue;
- unbalance;
- make a funny joke;
The main task is to write a strong provocative message. Fantasy can help, but as an example I can give you a few phrases:
- “I may not be able to write for a while. You need to go abroad and complete a special task. This is associated with a lot of risk, so I don’t know if I’ll be in touch at this time... and in general...” This is an option that may intrigue her and make her ask for details, but there are no guarantees and the answer may be something like: “OK.”
- “It seemed to me that you are a very interesting girl, but now we seem to have nothing to talk about. Are you interested in anything at all in this world other than scrolling through your VKontakte feed?” This is a good attempt to hook a girl to the quick, because she considers you uninteresting, and here you are telling her the same thing!
- “It seems that you are not interested in communicating with me. I could at least say this directly and not ignore it.” If she is not offended by you, but simply did not have the opportunity to respond, then such a message will most likely clarify the situation.
The main thing is not to go too far. Offending girls is undignified!
The girl does not want to communicate, ignores or freezes
Why does this happen - the most common situations
She was offended
Perhaps the reason for her silence is quite banal - the girl is simply offended by you. Analyze your last dialogues, remember if you could have offended her with some action or words. If you still don’t remember anything like that, then it is possible that her offense is far-fetched (if there really is one). To clarify the situation, of course, you should initiate a dialogue with the girl and ask directly if she is offended by something. If possible, it is better to call or initiate a personal meeting.
She's busy
Maybe the girl simply does not have the opportunity to answer you, even if she is online. It is possible that at the same time she is busy with some other activity, and she simply has no time for communication. Wait a little, if this is really the case, then the interlocutor will soon respond to your messages.
Women's ignorance as a means of manipulation
It must be admitted that some women use ignorance for their own purposes. Of course, they often do this because they had the opportunity to make sure that with the help of such behavior they can achieve certain “bonuses” for themselves. What does ignoring them give them?
Firstly, in this way they try to determine a man’s true attitude towards himself. If the chosen one did not notice anything, then the woman notes that he is not too attentive to her. If he begins to worry and tries to somehow clarify what is happening, then it is obvious that he is seriously interested in the relationship and reacts to the slightest changes in his beloved’s mood. Sometimes, it is really important for a woman to simply determine the attitude of a man, but often everything goes much further. Subconsciously, she, of course, is counting on the second option - that the man will be excited by her behavior. And after this, some people calculate how exactly their partner’s concern might benefit them. Someone on this “wave” is trying to get certain actions from the chosen one; more mercantile ladies can simply achieve gifts in this way.