- June 25, 2019
- Psychology of thinking
- Angelica Braldi
Every person sometimes has bad thoughts in their head. There is nothing abnormal or reprehensible in this, because people are not robots and cannot be in a good mood all the time, they cannot be positive. Therefore, you should not attach importance to the bad thoughts that sometimes enter your head.
You should worry if the negativity swarming in your head becomes habitual and begins to interfere with your life, sleep, joy, and communication with other people. In other words, one should be alarmed when individual random ideas that flashed in the mind are transformed into a thinking style and affect the way of life.
What do we mean by negative thoughts?
Before you throw bad thoughts out of your head, you should ask yourself why they are bad. Each person has their own idea of what is negative. Of course, social norms and foundations, cultural values, principles of generally accepted morality influence these ideas.
However, often what is bad in one society is normal in another. For example, if a young girl brought up in strict traditions constantly thinks about how she can put on makeup, drink beer, go to a concert, or wear a short skirt, is this bad? After all, for many teenagers these actions are commonplace. Maybe in this case there is no need to fight with thoughts, but it is worth changing your place of residence and circle of friends?
In other words, if bad thoughts are swarming in your head, you need to analyze them and understand whether they are really negative. Of course, thinking about death, wishing failures and disasters on other people, expecting one’s own collapse or illness are definitely bad things.
That is, only those thoughts that attract negativity to a person and carry evil within them can be considered truly bad. If thoughts and desires are swarming in the mind, going against generally accepted morality and traditions, but at the same time, their implementation will not harm anyone, then they can hardly be considered negative. And without a doubt, all those thoughts that become obsessive are bad.
Negative thoughts: how to distract yourself?
“You need not to get rid of thoughts, but to direct your attention to them: what they are about, immerse yourself in them and find the reason from which they come. Perhaps this is some event in your life that gives rise to fear in you... You need to figure out the reason. And then the “bad thoughts” will go away on their own.” D. Krok Freeskiing
- Give yourself compliments, praise yourself. As soon as a negative thought comes to you, start saying the phrase in your head: “Shut up immediately.” Then start complimenting yourself. This is the method of psychologist V.K. Nevyarovich, who described this method in the book “Soul Therapy”.
- Having the right attitude will help you distract yourself from negative thoughts. Always say confidently: I can! I can do it!
- Relaxation will help you take your mind off bad thoughts. You need to relax your body and have fun. Our body immediately reacts to negative thoughts. Wrinkles appear, the corners of our lips droop, we look 5 years older. Go for a massage, take a bath with aromatic oils, visit a beauty salon, go to the pool, get some sleep. Yoga and meditation will help you with this.
- You can get rid of bad thoughts if you throw them out. Don't hold back your emotions, cry, shout out, or talk to a person you trust. In the process of talking through the problem, many things become clear and resolve themselves.
- You can write down all your negative thoughts on paper and burn them. This is a kind of ritual of cleansing and letting go of the situation.
- Imagine your thoughts very small. Squeeze them in your fist so hard that they fall apart and scatter them in the wind.
- The nature of the problem needs to be established. Analyze when problems with negative and obsessive thoughts began. You must clearly understand what is happening to you. There are no hopeless situations and your emotional state can be changed. Some people have been haunted by negative thoughts since childhood; this develops in them a general negative attitude towards themselves and the world around them.
- To get rid of negative thoughts, you need to recognize your fears. Often your fears are instilled in you by your parents or others. You may have often been told: “You are a failure, you are poor, you have no talent, etc.” Such phrases sit in a person’s head, he begins to believe and feel in them and behave accordingly. To get rid of this kind of thoughts, you need to write down all your achievements and joys, even the smallest ones. This will show you what you really are and distract you from the bad thoughts in your head.
- The main cause of obsessive thoughts is anxiety. People worry all the time about everything. These thoughts are exhausting, although often there is no real reason for concern. In this case, it is necessary to control the obsession, this means not talking about it, not allowing yourself to think about bad things. You can distract yourself from negative obsessive thoughts if you do something important, start singing or repeating the multiplication table in your mind.
- The main reason for negative thoughts is the inability to be in the present moment. We can only worry when we think about the future and we are only upset by what has already happened, that is, the past. Therefore, in order to distract yourself from bad, restless thoughts, you need to not think about the future. Believing in yourself and having a positive attitude will help you take your mind off any negative thoughts.
- Controlling your thoughts will help you not only to distract yourself from them, but also to get rid of them forever. You must understand that only you can help yourself. Write down on paper your greatest fear and what will happen if it comes true. For example, I won't be able to pay off my loan. What will happen? They will start calling and threatening. What will I do? I'll contact a specialist. Which will restructure the loan. What if they go to court? In this case, they will break the loan into parts, and it will be easier for me to repay it. Any problem can be analyzed and analyzed this way. Then it won’t seem so scary, because there is a way out of any situation.
- Repeat the phrase in your head: “Everything passes and this will pass.”
- Learn to correctly understand life priorities. There is nothing more important and valuable than your life. Everything else is dust that will dissipate and be forgotten.
- Never compare yourself to others! You have your own life and your own life mission. You can gain experience from the example of successful people, but do not try on their lives. Envy is a source of obsessive dark thoughts.
- Don't get stuck in the past! You must love and forgive yourself. It is no longer possible to change what happened, so why torture yourself. There is no need to remember failures. Concentrate better on what you can do.
- Learn to control your emotions. You need to accept the situation in a neutral way, then any thought is perceived simply as food for thought. You yourself color situations with your emotions.
- Learn to forgive yourself and your loved ones. If you received negative attitudes from your parents, you must understand that they simply did not know how to live differently.
- To take your mind off bad thoughts, take yourself on an interesting project. You can draw pictures, start writing a book, develop a business plan. When a person is busy with something interesting, he does not have time to think about bad things.
- Write plans for the future. Write down point by point what you want to do a month in advance. Planning will help you get rid of constant worry and take your mind off negative thoughts.
- Psychologists recommend punishing yourself every time a bad thought comes to you. For example, put a rubber band on your hand and when a bad thought appears, pull it back and hit yourself with the rubber band on your hand. It sounds crazy, but our brain begins to understand that a negative thought will be punished, and such thoughts will be reduced less and less often.
- Accepting a thought means ceasing to fight it. Learn not to drive away thoughts, but to find the positive aspects of your problem.
- When negative thoughts overwhelm you, remember a time when you were happy. Keep this picture in your head and reproduce it every time a bad thought appears.
- Think about it, maybe you have a secondary benefit from obsessive thoughts. For example, by constantly thinking about one situation, you avoid thinking about something else. Perhaps there are problems that are more important to you, but you are afraid to think about them. We need to recognize this disguise.
- Very often, obsessive negative thoughts are the reason to consider yourself unhappy and this relieves you of some responsibilities. For example, a person believes that he cannot find a job until he gets rid of obsessive thoughts. This is a secondary benefit. Intrusive thoughts are an excuse. In fact, a person simply does not want to look for a job.
- Obsessive thoughts cause a lot of stress, so to cope with them, you need to learn to relax with every cell of your body. Relaxation meditation will help you best.
- If you believe in God, prayer for protection from bad thoughts will help you cope with a bad mood and relieve despondency. Take good care of your soul. Take care of spiritual purity, because any thought is material and it is the first step towards the abyss. Words of prayer have enormous healing power. Whenever you feel a negative thought overpowering you, pray.
Why do they appear? Main reasons
Understanding the cause of negativity in the mind is the first step towards getting thoughts out of your head. Bad, evil, immoral thoughts do not arise out of emptiness. They always have a source that not only provokes the emergence of such ideas, but also constantly feeds them. This could be a personal negative experience, excessive impressionability when watching the news, or characteristics of one’s own psyche.
Psychologists believe the following factors are the main reasons why negative thoughts and ideas linger in the head:
- peculiarities of perception, skepticism, habit of lack of positivity;
- low self-esteem;
- suspiciousness, suspicion, excessive caution and other similar character traits;
- lack of ability to make decisions and desire to take responsibility;
- the influence of acquaintances, close people, an abundance of negative information around;
- loneliness;
- constant stress, forced daily overcoming of one’s own “I”, life in eternal compromise with something, an abundance of unfulfilled fantasies and repressed desires;
- emotional shock, personal tragedy.
Each of these factors poses a danger to the human psyche. Even one of them can provoke the emergence and take root of negative thoughts. The combination of several such factors inevitably leads to the development of negative thinking.
When does negative thinking form? Root Causes of Negative Thoughts
If bad thoughts come to mind, then people often begin to look for their reasons in recent events, in their environment, in current life circumstances. Without a doubt, that's where they are. However, it is worth thinking about why, being in similar circumstances, some people begin to think negatively and imagine all sorts of horrors, while others do not.
Psychologists say that the root cause of negativity that arises in the human mind is childhood trauma, and current life circumstances act as an alarm clock, the ringing of which awakens this type of thinking. In other words, bad thoughts in the head arise not only due to real circumstances or mental characteristics, but also because a person has a tendency to have and retain negativity in his consciousness.
A negative type of thinking is formed in childhood. As a rule, it occurs due to the fault of parents who suppress the child. The development of a tendency towards a negative perception of reality is also influenced by the child’s personal experience - failures, problems in the garden, being alone in his room, constant dissatisfaction with adults, family conflicts, lack of holidays, desired gifts and much more.
The child very quickly learns that, regardless of his actions, everything in life will be bad. He gets used to negativity and constantly waits for it. This habit transforms over the years into a negative type of thinking. And as soon as something happens that awakens the experience acquired in childhood, a person begins to think about how to get rid of the bad thoughts that poison his life from his head.
Impact with the power of thought: how to attract positive energy into your life
- The most important thing is positive and pure thinking. Find something to be happy about and something to thank the Universe for. Believe me, soon negative events will completely leave your life forever.
- Visualize! The more clearly we imagine our desires, as if they were happening in reality, the more signals we send into space.
- Decide on the values in your life. If you find it difficult to set goals right away, understand what you value most. And from there, move towards setting goals.
- Be grateful. Influencing with the power of thought works for those who know how to give thanks. Remember that you have something that many do not have. Find something to be grateful for and say thank you to the Universe every day.
- Approve. Use ready-made affirmations or come up with your own. Powerful statements and influence with the power of thought are the ideal alliance for making dreams come true.
- Learn to let go. Look at your life from the outside and think, is it possible that something or someone is stopping you from moving towards your goals? Let go of everything in your life that is pulling you back, and you will immediately begin to move forward.
Why do indecent and blasphemous thoughts appear? Are they bad?
Very often, people understand by bad not negative, but indecent, immoral or blasphemous ideas that appear in their minds. For example, if a man sees a provocatively dressed girl in a cafe, “very bad thoughts” appear in his head. Of course, not every man begins to imagine what he would do with a provocatively dressed woman. However, this is the exception rather than the rule; the vast majority of representatives of the stronger sex give free rein to their imagination, and then begin to be ashamed of it.
Such thoughts are not negative. These are fantasies that are made up of information received from outside; they are not based on personal experience. That is, if a person experiences irritation at the sight of a smoker and imagines what he would do with a smoking cigarette, where he would “direct” it, this is a fantasy.
Such thoughts appear because a person has given his brain a direction. And the mind responded by producing a set of images that were present in films, books, news stories, and paintings familiar to the person.
Are such thoughts dangerous? Do you need to get rid of them? Psychologists believe that if fantasies occur periodically, then there is nothing wrong with it and there is nothing to worry about. But if they become obsessive and a person begins to look for ways to implement them, then he needs the help of a psychotherapist.
Blasphemous thoughts are, as a rule, grumbling, blaming the Lord for one’s own powerlessness, failures, and troubles. They indicate that a person is not able to accept responsibility for what is happening in his life. That is, in this case, you should not think about how to get thoughts out of your head, you need to start correcting your life position. You need to learn to make decisions and take responsibility for them.
An obsessive thought as a projection of your fantasy
We all know that thought is material. What always happens to us is what we think about, what we fear most. And when we get stuck in negative thoughts, life turns completely black.
Before we talk about how to overcome such thoughts, let's first understand why this happens to us. Why do we get hung up on bad thoughts and can't just let it go?
Obsessive negative thoughts are a kind of bad habit. A person understands that it is harmful to his health, but cannot get rid of it. Obsessive thoughts can bother a person for several days, and sometimes months. These may be certain fears, grievances, experiences, painful memories.
But what’s most interesting is that when time passes and these thoughts disappear, the person realizes that these thoughts did not pose any threat to him. Often, after a while a person realizes that the thoughts that have been poisoning his life for a long time are just dust and shouldn’t even be thought about.
Negative obsessive thoughts arise in a person’s mind involuntarily, against his will. A person is aware of pain, these thoughts are accompanied by depression and anxiety.
Causes of obsessive thoughts:
- Most often, the cause of obsessive thoughts is stress. No matter how a person tries to forget a difficult situation, it is still reproduced in the memory again and again.
- Obsessive thoughts can arise as a consequence of psychological trauma.
- The cause may be severe fatigue and exhaustion of the nervous system.
Why is negative thinking dangerous? Why do you need to fight it?
Any negativity is destructive and carries a destructive beginning. If bad thoughts constantly creep into your head and become intrusive, then this inevitably affects the quality of a person’s life. Such thoughts interfere with sleep, prevent relaxation and rest, prevent joy, and set you up for failure.
The thought is material. Of course, this is a highly controversial statement. However, it is a well-known fact that people with a positive type of thinking achieve success in life. Those who constantly expect trouble are sure to encounter various difficulties and troubles.
Accordingly, the danger of negative thinking is that it tunes a person exclusively to the bad and does not allow him to notice the good. In addition, obsessive thoughts that constantly spin in the mind have a negative impact on health. After all, if a person cannot get enough sleep, is not able to relax, then this will inevitably lead to some kind of disease, for example, increased blood pressure or arrhythmia.
Accordingly, it is important to get rid of bad, evil, and negative thoughts from your head. It is necessary to get rid of destructive thinking. This can be done with the help of a psychotherapist or on your own.
Negative thoughts lead to poverty
You work with money desires, visualize wealth, write a check for abundance, but the money still struggles to come. Or they come, but quickly end.
Common situation?
Most often, money desires are not fulfilled because of your fears.
Remember how we divided emotions into bad and good? We classified fear as bad.
If you have fear, then you will never be able to bring financial prosperity into your life. And moreover, the fear that the money will quickly run out or any other fear will bring only troubles.
When getting rid of money fears, we follow the same principles that I described above. The main thing is to feel your emotions in time. Realize in time what vibrations you send to the Universe.
If you find yourself feeling bad or depressed about money, it's time to change your thoughts, and therefore your feelings. Otherwise, monetary desires will not be fulfilled. Create positive thoughts about money, write affirmations for wealth, start spinning them in your head. Picture yourself living in abundance.
By getting rid of fears and negative thoughts about money, switching yourself to the high vibrations of abundance, you will begin to instantly attract money.
How to get rid of thoughts? Basic ways to solve the problem
In one of the popular Western films, the hero asks his friend what to do if he has bad thoughts in his head. In response, he hears: “Just stop thinking.” Indeed, the advice is good, simply ideal, but how to put it into practice? It turns out that a similar method exists. Its essence is that if a person is unable to stop thinking, then he needs to change the topic and direction of thoughts. That is, as soon as negativity appears in your head, you need to switch your consciousness to the positive.
How to get rid of bad thoughts and experiences from your head? Psychologists recommend the following methods:
- solve the problem that caused the appearance of negativity in the mind;
- ignore sources that feed obsessive thoughts and fears;
- constantly develop, gain new knowledge, find hobbies, create, communicate with people;
- “live” a bad thought, that is, do not drive it away, but develop it, imagine what will happen if it comes true;
- engage in active sports, walk, get physically tired;
- throw out negativity and aggression, for example, throwing darts at a circle that depicts something that causes bad associations;
- tidy up your home;
- focus on the present, let go of the past and not make plans for the future;
- take a break from your usual activities and responsibilities.
Sometimes some unusual act helps to cope with bad thoughts that haunt you, which you can then talk about. For example, you can go on a sightseeing tour in a hot air balloon or jump with a parachute. A cocktail of fear, adrenaline and the heady feeling that something incredible has happened is the best antipode to negativity.
Negative thoughts destroy relationships
In relationships with other people, we are used to focusing on their actions and actions, and then complaining if we didn’t like something. We blame others, we blame them for their shortcomings.
“My husband doesn’t understand me”; “All the romance is gone”; “He doesn’t pay attention to me anymore.”
And so on and so forth.
But the reality is that we ourselves “invent” our own relationships—we create them. The negative thoughts that enter our mind create a corresponding reality.
During long-term relationships, many people begin to make one terrible mistake: focusing on the negative qualities of their partner. Forgot to give a gift, didn’t fulfill a promise, went off to have fun with friends again, didn’t wash the dishes, and so on. What happens the moment we start focusing on this? Anger, irritation, and resentment appear. The Universe catches this frequency, and then sends us more situations that cause the same negative emotions in us.
But what to do if your loved one left you?
Do you think that nothing can be fixed in this situation? After all, as children we were often told: you can’t mend a broken cup, you can’t step into the same river twice. Have you heard such statements too?
Don't believe it! You have to fight for your love. And there is a way to get your loved one back >>
How to understand that a person is suffering from negativity?
Not every person is able to independently understand how to get negative thoughts out of their head. Many people need help. Often people suffering from destructive thinking need a stimulus, a kind of push. They need outside influence in order to start fighting the negativity inside.
As a rule, people who are not particularly decisive, confused, kind and naive, who tend to fall under someone’s authoritarian influence, need such help.
How to understand that someone nearby needs help? After all, it may turn out that he is simply a pessimist and does not suffer at all from obsessive bad thoughts, sleeps well and, in principle, has no problems in life. Observing a person will help you understand this issue.
Anyone who constantly has bad thoughts spinning in their head is prone to the following:
- frequent cleaning, long and thorough hand washing, wiping cutlery with a napkin in restaurants;
- emotional detachment and obvious tension, as if the person is constantly trying to remember something or solve some problem;
- an abundance of little things from the past, such as drawings and photographs, which are not only carefully stored, but also often looked through.
The most important feature is the simulation of all kinds of horrors in any unusual or complex, incomprehensible, emergency situation. For example, if a person cannot get through to someone close to him, then he immediately says that something bad happened and starts dialing the numbers of mutual friends or contacts hospitals, morgues, and the police station.
Correcting the situation
To improve your love relationships, you must first ask yourself: “How am I feeling right now?” Remember, your emotions are indicators of your thoughts. If you are angry with your partner, he has offended you or disappointed you in some way - now you are controlled by negative thoughts. And this will not lead to anything good. You need to switch to another frequency, positive.
I repeat that first - thought, and then - reality.
Many people tend to shift responsibility for their own happiness to other people. You are waiting for someone else to make you happy. And then you are disappointed that this does not happen and the person does not manage to make you, in your understanding, happy. Because your joy and your happiness depend on only one person on Earth - you.
Your happiness is born in your heart.
How to help others get rid of negativity?
Of course, you don’t need to take on the role of a psychologist and try to understand other people’s problems. People themselves are often unable to understand why bad thoughts enter their heads, especially since it is beyond the power of someone who only occasionally communicates with them.
However, one should not show indifference. If there is someone nearby who needs help, you should give it. In this case, you need to bring positivity into a person’s life, point out joyful events to him, talk about his successes, and give compliments. That is, in fact, you need to become a source of positive emotions.
What gets in the way of dealing with obsessive negative thoughts?
How to remove bad thoughts from your head? Psychologists say that sometimes it is enough to stop doing what helps them take root and become obsessive. These same actions hinder the fight against negativity in the mind; thanks to them, all attempts by a person to learn to think positively fail.
The following hinders the fight against bad thoughts:
- feeling of self-pity;
- excessive severity and exactingness;
- the habit of thinking about something in a negative way, for example, imagining the consequences of a child going for a walk with the dog alone;
- anxiety.
These habits are not directly related to bad thoughts, but they help them take root in the mind and make it difficult to cope with them.
Autotraining
How to deal with self-pity? With exactingness and rigor? How to stop worrying and worrying? Psychologists advise using the auto-training method and learning to recognize your emotions.
What does this mean? Autotraining is nothing more than self-hypnosis, setting consciousness in a positive way. For example, in one of the famous Russian films, the heroine repeated to herself the words that she was the most attractive and charming.
As soon as a person is seized by anxiety, fears arise, and bad images appear in the imagination, you need to stop the stream of consciousness, close your eyes and repeat several times to yourself or, if possible, out loud, phrases that convince you that everything is very good. Auto-training helps not only in the fight against habits that interfere with the expulsion of obsessive, bad thoughts. With its help you can cope with the negative type of thinking itself. But for this, self-hypnosis should be carried out not when the need for it arises, but every day, at the same time. Psychologists believe that the best hour for auto-training is before bed. Of course, it makes sense to do this activity in the morning, but most people spend it in a hurry, in a bustle, and even eat breakfast on the run. Accordingly, they are unlikely to be able to relax and tune in to the positive.
Awareness of emotions is a complex process. Its essence is that before saying or doing anything, a person must “freeze” and understand what caused his reaction. For example, if a child says that he went into the forest to pick mushrooms with a dog, the parents’ first reaction is not to let him in. Before you stop your child from going for a walk, you need to count to yourself to 10 and take a deep breath. At this time, the realization will come that the reaction is based on obsessive fear, the habit of thinking through the development of events in a negative way, and other similar emotions.