It’s annoying when you’re talking to an attractive girl, trying to make a good impression on her, courting her, making her laugh, pampering her, and suddenly the girl gets offended for no reason at all.
It unsettles you and you just don’t know how to react to it.
Even if you manage to make amends for this awkward situation, there remains the fear and nervousness of offending her in some way next time. First, you need to understand the reason why a girl gets offended by little things, and only then react to it somehow.
BACKUP OPTION
The most common reason why a girl is constantly offended is that she doesn’t really like you .
She views you as a temporary suitor, favorably accepts courtship and gifts, burdens you with her requests and problems, but as soon as someone more interesting appears on the horizon, the girl immediately gets offended, snorts, leaves, and stops answering calls and messages.
Not only did she send you, but she also made you feel guilty.
If you notice a dismissive tone and arrogance towards yourself, then end this relationship at least for a while.
Do something more interesting than serving a capricious girl. Put your thoughts and appearance in order, look around, remember old friends, do what you love. Travel more and recharge yourself with positivity.
Very soon you will have many pretty girlfriends who will look at you with delight.
It is quite possible that your ex-girlfriend will reconsider her attitude towards you and want to return.
Resentment as a way of manipulation
Touchiness is characteristic of most girls.
Looked wrong, gave it wrong, didn’t call, was late, you look around - the list is huge. The poor guy doesn’t know how to approach such a young lady, he’s racking his brains about what to do if the girl is very offended. And here you should think that she is using an inadequate way to convey information to the guy, playing on his feelings, using the young man for her own purposes.
In psychology, this behavior is called manipulative. Manipulation in most cases is unconscious. The girl behaves in a familiar way, which has always brought benefits.
UPBRINGING
Many people are concerned about the question of why girls are offended more often than boys . Some perceive this as manipulation, but most likely this is due to different parenting styles.
From childhood, girls are taught a “smoothing” manner of communication - to be tactful, to apologize, not to be too self-confident, and not to use obscenities.
They are told that a girl should be cute and harmless.
Boys, on the contrary, are taught to insist on their own, to be a leader, and to humorously humiliate their interlocutor, challenging him to a verbal battle.
For boys, rude statements and swear words are acceptable; they easily say whatever they think.
As a result, we get a situation where the girl is offended by the guy only because she cannot answer him in the same manner to which he is accustomed. She does not know how to defend her position, to say a rude swear word at the right moment in order to put the boor in his place.
If a girl starts talking to a guy like a man, then he becomes offended because he is not ready to hear rudeness addressed to him from a lady. For men, this is humiliating and insulting.
As a rule, girls from simple, working-class families are better able to defend their rights, so it is difficult to offend them with anything, while girls from high society constantly pout and play the silent game.
Character of touchy women
It is not always the partner who is to blame for the girl’s insults. Does true love falter over trivial problems? Of course not. This means that the reasons for the behavior lie in the girls themselves. Now let’s take a closer look at what character traits lead to misunderstandings:
- Vulnerable character. That's why a girl gets offended by little things. It's just that the lady is very sensitive to the most trivial things. “Didn’t kiss you this morning? It means you don’t care and don’t care about me at all.”
- Cunning character. We already discussed this type a little at the beginning of the article. He rocks manipulative girls who achieve their goals through insults. I would run from such people. Although, it happens that such a character manifests itself unconsciously.
- Unstable character. This is a case when a woman does not know how to control her emotions. Often resentment can emerge for no apparent reason at all. In fact, she had been storing up anger inside for a long time. Eventually, the little things merge into a single nuclear bomb and explode.
In general, all people are offended.
It’s just that someone knows how to let go of anger in time, come to terms and continue living. And some people torture themselves and others every day.
MANIPULATION
By their nature, ladies are physically much weaker than men, but nature has generously rewarded them with intelligence and cunning. They are better adapted to life only because they know how to competently manipulate men , forcing them to fulfill their every whim.
One of the most favorite female manipulations is to be offended. As soon as the situation gets out of control, I get offended.
I heard the unpleasant truth and was offended.
I couldn’t achieve what I wanted - I stopped talking.
In fact, she wasn’t really hurt by your words or actions, it’s just her way of raising an obedient man who will be easy to control.
But the most difficult thing in this situation is that no one needs obedient men, henpecked men are no longer respected, so you shouldn’t indulge her whims 100%. There are situations when you better defend your point of view, even if it seems like a couple of days with pouting lips.
Resentment: what is it?
To begin with, I propose to understand what this concept includes. Resentment is stopped anger, when for some reason a person could not present it to his “offender”, but as if he “swallowed it” and kept it with himself. It is a signal that indicates a lack of satisfaction of needs and desires, a violation of personal boundaries and the discrediting of certain values.
Usually children react this way to the slightest prohibitions and so on, but as they grow up they can use it as manipulation. Because most often people try to “make amends” for their misdeeds so as not to feel guilty for what they have done.
So, women often “resort” to it if they don’t know how to constructively convey to their partner that something doesn’t suit them. Well, they don’t know how to do this for some reason. Or they don’t want to complicate their life. Moreover, if a representative of the opposite sex has a strong position on one or another important issue, and you really want to influence his opinion.
HORMONES
If you notice that your girlfriend often gets offended on certain days of the month, then this is normal. The women's world is ruled by hormones, not common sense.
Of course, a guy won’t understand this, but if a girl is offended after five days of terrible girdling pain, then it’s forgivable.
In developed countries, women are given sick leave for these 3 days, so show her care and attention, don’t say that this is nonsense. She already feels bad, so there is no need to add fuel to the fire with your whims and educational work.
Thanks to their hormonal background, women have more developed emotional intelligence. Unlike men, they are more sensitive to different types of emotions, both positive and negative.
Men don’t understand why ladies cry over a scene in a movie, are touched by a flea-filled kitten, or break dishes because of an unsuccessful compliment. For men, everything is smooth in this regard.
The toxicity of female resentment
Scientists have concluded that grievances are long-term and have a negative impact on a person’s health:
- Muscle tension provokes many diseases: poor circulation, diseases of the pancreas and gall bladder. When the reaction is very emotional, heart problems begin. Oncologists even call breast cancer the result of women's grievances. A person directs bitterness into himself and begins to collapse, leading himself to a depressive state.
- Problems in relationships with your partner and other people. Inability or fear to express directly what you don’t like and decide to change the situation.
- Diffidence. A feeling of injustice arises, the touchy person feels an insulting attitude towards herself, and begins to feel sorry for herself.
- Overcompensation. Because of her feelings of inferiority, the partner pursues the goal of achieving superiority in any way.
READ What to do if you are offended by your husband: how to get rid of the oppressive feeling
EXAMINATION
It is very important for a woman to find a strong, confident partner who has powerful social and emotional intelligence. It is important for them to know that he will be able to cope with any life situation and unforeseen problem. Such men become leaders, make successful careers, and enjoy success in society. But sometimes it is not immediately clear.
If the relationship develops smoothly and calmly, then the girl is constantly tormented by doubts about how strong the person next to her is. She herself begins to provoke various situations that require an immediate solution, and the man only wonders why the girl is often offended because of some trifles.
At such moments, you need to understand that this is a test and act decisively, and not whine in response, sulk and leave. This will show your immaturity, which means you will go to the bench.
Desire for revenge2
Women and men perceive relationships and actions committed in them differently. Many guys can make a number of mistakes without even realizing them. And often this happens unconsciously. If a man tries to prove to a girl that he is right, then the situation only gets worse. Therefore, the girl’s behavior looks like revenge for the fact that the guy does not want to understand her.
Sometimes such resentment helps guys correct their behavior patterns and then relationships improve. An example would be a situation where, when exiting public transport, a guy did not shake his hand to a girl. Such a gesture is regarded by the girl as disrespectful. Also, the reasons may be a harsh statement or an inappropriate joke.
OFFENSIVE ENDURANCE
Sometimes men don’t understand why girls get offended if they are addressed not by their name, but by a playful diminutive nickname. A survey of two thousand women aged 20 to 40 years old showed that such seemingly harmless words as “baby”, “bird”, “doll”, “chick”, “bun”, “princess”, “woman”, “ lady" provokes an attack of rage and irritation in them.
The words “fool”, “chicken”, “hysterical”, “menopausal” are even more infuriating.
These words humiliate women and place them at a level lower than men. You can talk as much as you like about equality and work a hundred times more productive than men, but when the boss, in front of the entire team, condescendingly calls you “Svetochka-baby”, then for your colleagues you will no longer become a respected “Svetlana Petrovna”, and until retirement you will remain in the rank of a girl running errands.
Modern girls have to be strong and self-sufficient. They spend a lot of effort and time on their development, career, and education. They run large corporations, create successful businesses, are involved in politics and do not want to hear the word “baby” addressed to them by a narcissistic loser.
If the girl is offended, then in this case she is right. It wouldn’t even occur to anyone to address a stranger on the street as “bunny” or “baby”, because for this you could get punched in the jaw.
If you want to win the attention and affection of a woman, stop humiliating her mental abilities with affectionate nicknames, instead instill in her confidence in her own strengths and greatness, treat her as a bright personality, and not a soulless “doll.”
If you are very offended
If a girl for whom you feel sympathy, crush or love does not make any contact with you, does not answer the phone and does not answer messages, then you need to act decisively.
First you need to understand: is it really that expensive and do you need it? If the answer is yes, you will have to overcome your pride, ask for forgiveness even if it is not your fault, and perhaps ask friends for help.
Attention! Strong resentment on the part of a girl, as a rule, arises only if the guy has seriously committed a crime.
Representatives of the fairer sex, although they like to sulk, gradually emotions subside, and the quarrel ends after a few hours or a couple of days. If a girl flatly refuses to improve the relationship, then there is a good reason for this.
The algorithm of actions is simple:
- give it time to cool down,
- disappear from her sight for a couple of days (don’t write, don’t call),
- perform a masculine romantic act.
The main thing is that during these couple of days of calm you do not aggravate the situation even further, for example, by taking photos on social networks with other girls or friends, going to parties or going to cafes.
A romantic act is limited by a man's imagination and budget:
- you can write a declaration of love under the windows,
- put her name out of flowers,
- send a large bouquet by courier and enclose a touching letter in the flowers,
- going up on a lift to your beloved’s window is something that any girl will certainly appreciate.
After she thaws out a little, you need to sincerely ask for forgiveness, be sure to clarify why (for the girl it is important that the guy understands where he messed up), and promise not to do it again. Any girl will let go of her grudge after this.
What to do if a girl is offended and does not want to communicate is described in the video:
OFFENSIVE PHRASES
Many pick-up artists teach guys how to easily seduce any girl in five minutes. To do this, they have a whole list of prepared “witty” phrases , which in theory should work, but in practice they sound stupid and offensive to girls.
Forbidden phrases:
- "You're not like other girls." The guy thinks he said a compliment, but for the girl it sounds like an assessment of the product. She doesn’t like that you compare and evaluate her with someone. Instead, it's better to say, "You're not like anyone I've ever talked to before."
- "I respect your independence." For a girl it sounds like: “Do what you want, I don’t care.”
- “Baby, smile, it suits you.” A woman is not obliged to boost your ego, cheer you up and entertain you. If you want to see her smile, do something that will make her smile.
- “You are the most beautiful among your friends.” Remember, this is not a beauty contest, and you are not on the jury. If you want to give a compliment, say: “You are the most beautiful person I have ever seen,” but do not compare her with her friends. To her, this means that you were evaluating other women as potential lovers.
- “I didn’t know you were so smart.” That is, you initially doubted her mental abilities and dated her only for her appearance?
- "All girls love shopping." No, not everything. This is an old, tired stereotype that claims that all women are stupid spenders who cannot have more interesting hobbies.
- “It is very rare to meet such a handsome lawyer (financier). You must be very popular among clients.” With this compliment you are implying that she made her career not through hard work, but only through her appearance.
- “I like it when a girl eats well.” You want to show your progressive views on the female form, but for her it sounds like a hint of excess weight.
- “Why aren’t you married yet?” It’s better to say right away: “Who needs you? Say thank you for paying attention to you."
Such phrases will sound ambiguous and offensive, so don’t be surprised if there isn’t a second date.
What to do?
And since it so happened that your loved one was offended, and you are completely at a loss and don’t know what to do in this situation, I offer you 5 ways to solve it.
Option 1: Determine the occasion
If she is quiet and doesn't talk to you, ask what happened and ask her to explain what's wrong. And don’t be too upset if there is no answer. It's quite normal. Most often, the feeling is so overwhelming that it is difficult to think rationally, much less talk with the culprit of this condition.
And the idea that you can guess everything yourself makes itself felt. Still, they acted unfairly and wrongly towards their beloved, as if they themselves should understand their fault. Sometimes sincere bewilderment causes even more emotions, aggravating the situation. So be careful.
Be persistent. Don't be rude under any circumstances. If the reaction does not change, give her the opportunity to be alone. But not for long. Otherwise, you will also be punished for your “callousness.”
After some time, try to reach her rationality. Say that you are really worried and want to fix the situation, but you don’t know where to start and really need her help.
Option 2: Ask for forgiveness
Approach her and ask for forgiveness from the bottom of your heart. Once is enough. But remember: you should not feel guilty, because many beautiful ladies deliberately induce it in their knights in order to manipulate. Still achieving his goal without using force.
Option 3: Try to make amends
If no changes occur, carefully analyze the situation. What could really cause such strong emotions? And also how to correct this situation. That is, you should, as they say, “make amends.” Simply put, make sure that positive experiences outshine the negative ones.
Think about what she loves? What makes you feel joy, happiness, and delight? Use your imagination rather, because there are a million ways to correct this situation.
Among the most banal, but effective approaches, I suggest:
- make a surprise and invite you to a romantic dinner;
- give flowers;
- give a gift.
Option 4. Use a sense of humor
In the case when you think that your chosen one is manipulating and experiences this feeling over any trifle, try to get her out of this state with the help of a funny, witty joke.
If you consider a sense of humor to be one of your virtues, and at the same time you are also able to cheer up any person in any situation, then unpleasant emotions will quickly pass.
However, be careful with the jokes you choose and don't go too far! After all, if you cross the border in such a seemingly harmless way, then you risk aggravating the situation, and a scandal may follow a simple insult to your beloved. In this case, the consequences can be very different.
By the way, we recommend taking a test for your sense of humor.
Option 5. The best medicine is hugs and kisses
It is possible that your loved one is simply tired, out of sorts, or someone has ruined her mood. It’s quite normal to feel sad and even cry. This is a kind of emotional release that the body requires.
If you want to help your sweetheart with all your heart, you just need to hug her, caress her and kiss her.
Just remind her how much you love her and how much you appreciate her. That you are nearby, even if you are currently busy with extraneous things. All she has to do is ask and you will come to the rescue. At least just listen if you want to speak out.
CONTEMPT
If you manage to seduce a girl, this does not mean that you can relax. Even after 5-10-20 years of marriage, you should treat her with reverence and care. It is very important for women to feel valued and respected.
Many things that seem normal to you are unacceptable to her. Even if you think that loudly passing gas in her presence is a sign of deepest trust, for her it will always be an insult.
You need to be careful in everything, especially in criticism and comments. Silently swallow the salty soup, and then sincerely praise. She just had a hard day, and she knows that the soup is disgusting.
Your criticism will be the last straw for her and a huge scandal will break out. But after your praise, she will be grateful for your understanding and will later reward you with something tasty or pleasant.
Ignores and remains silent, what should I do?
The plan of action for female resentment depends on many factors:
- on how serious the relationship is (two-month romance or long-term love),
- depending on the age of the partners,
- from the characters,
- temperament,
- education.
Most likely, a man has more than once encountered a girl’s reaction to a particular act, so he knows exactly how to and how not to behave. If the relationship is at an early stage, this remains to be seen. What are the options?
Show concern
Most girls love it when a man demonstrates his concern.
Reference! In truth, some people suck the insult out of their fingers so that the chosen one will show all his masculine essence, rush to the other end of the city in any weather, hug and ask for forgiveness.
Some people argue like this: “he writes to me, I’m silent, if he cares, he’ll take action.”
Come to her
There is a category of women to whom you don’t need to say anything, but need to show that you are not going to let the lady of your heart go. The beginning of the reconciliatory path is the same: get ready and come to her, but you don’t need to say anything.
A girl can break free, say that it’s all over, and the man’s task is to lend his shoulder, hold him tightly and let his emotions spill out. Eventually she will give in.
Find the right words
Another way to melt the heart of an offended girl is to choose the right words. Women love with their ears, and, no matter how much they deny it, tender and important words always quickly bear fruit.
Usually a girl who ignores a guy is waiting for those very words that will act as a key. Girls even subconsciously know what word or phrase it should be.
By the way, this method also has several individual points:
- Some are waiting for messages about how dear, needed and loved she is.
- Others need to be “hooked” so that she finally expresses everything that offended or upset her. The phrase “what have I done?” works well with such girls, although it is very dangerous: many ladies become furious with it.
- For others, it is enough to know that the beloved has realized his guilt and asks for forgiveness.
Wait a couple of days
“Girls love bad boys”, “the less we love a woman, the more she likes us”, “they knock each other out” and many more stable expressions can be applied in relation to this situation.
It is much easier and faster to make peace with some girls if you repay in the same coin.
Surprisingly, sometimes the desired and subconscious of a woman works wonders: it seems to her that she wants actions, loud words, flowers, confessions from a man, but in fact she only reacts to indifference. If your girl is one of these, just wait a couple of days and she will write herself.
Give a gift
Some girls expect not so much actions and words as gifts. The phrase “the main thing is not the gift, but the attention” does not apply to such people.
However, for some, a hand-made postcard will be enough, others count on a bouquet of flowers or a large teddy bear, and still others - on a fur coat or jewelry.
Attention! There is only one piece of advice here - to reconsider your attitude towards this mercantile person.
Finally, the wisest and most mature girls try not to “make a fuss” of their loved one and not make a scene out of nowhere. These people just need time to cool down, after which they continue to build healthy and serious relationships without remembering what happened.
How a guy should behave if a girl is offended is explained in the video:
HOW TO AVOID
The best thing you can do is to avoid situations that are offensive to her.
At the very beginning of a relationship, when you are just taking a closer look at each other, try to avoid the following topics:
- Questions about sex, dirty jokes, especially if she is not too relaxed in this regard.
- “Why is such a beauty still not married?” With this question you will immediately cause rejection, because the girl will hear: “What’s wrong with you?”
- To humiliate her mental abilities. Even if a lady is incompetent in some matters, believe me, she has enough knowledge and experience in other areas. If you laugh at her stupidity, she will find a way to demonstrate her intelligence, but you are unlikely to like it.
Women's grievances on social networks
Online communication platforms provide another reason for complaints from the fairer sex. In what areas can resentment extend?
The ability to control a man on social networks leads to quarrels over likes or friend additions. If a girl tracks your actions on all the pages you follow, monitors comments and hours of site visits, then this indicates a great lack of confidence in herself and you.
Only completely deleting all accounts will help change the situation, but this does not guarantee that she will not switch to jealousy in other areas.
You need to figure out what to do if you started communicating just recently, and the girl is offended. This refers to any complaints: you went to the site and didn’t write, didn’t respond on time. Stop and think, is she taking on too much? Let her immediately understand the boundaries of what is permitted. Why do you need such a neurotic relationship? Perhaps after a personal meeting everything will be even sadder.
If you communicate for a long time, dissatisfaction may be due to the fact that you do not offer to meet her. If you like her, don’t delay the first date, because it’s always better to make sure you like her in person.
