A woman in a male team: expectations, mistakes, advice

Secret number one - the main thing is to start well

When joining an unfamiliar team, it is very important to immediately make a good impression on others. Make sure that you are neatly and nicely dressed and look well-groomed - people like those who take care of their appearance. Enter a room where there are people you don’t know, confidently, with an even posture and a bold gait, be sure to smile at everyone (just naturally, don’t put on a “rubber” smile) and say hello to everyone.

If you know anyone in the company, then immediately find him in the crowd, say hello, exchange a few words and try to join the company in which he is currently communicating. The best way to stay in this company is to continue the existing conversation. Don’t be afraid to express your opinion on the topic under discussion, just make sure it doesn’t fundamentally diverge from what others think.

How to organize a team event correctly

To bring employees closer together, you can organize several types of collective recreation and training:

Corporate events . If you organize an event with a stale script and forced competitions, employees feel stressed. The entertainment plan should be drawn up by team members; it is important to learn new things about each other. Conduct a survey on what kind of corporate event your colleagues want. Gather a group of responsible people and make a “home” holiday during which people can relax.​

Joint sports activities . In addition to corporate events, you can organize competitions in team sports. Form a volleyball or soccer team and encourage employees to practice regularly. This approach should be non-coercive. Popular kayaking or skiing is not suitable for everyone, and you shouldn’t force people to do it.

Trainings . Conduct employee training in which you can use joint games, exchange emotions and improve professional knowledge. When new employees join the company, it is useful to organize induction training so that they can more easily integrate into the work process.

Mikhail Pritula explains what corporate events should be like: “During team building, employees under the guidance of an experienced coach achieve maximum teamwork. People recognize this experience, learn from it, and then try to transfer it to the work environment.

If you call team building a corporate event, it is no less useful. Such events make participants happier and help form more informal relationships.

That's why everyone treats them so positively. Proper team building is complex and intellectual work.

Any corporate event is useful, just focus on the needs and preferences of the team and a reasonable budget. You need to spend no more than $50 per person in a normal situation, $100 for a company birthday, $200 for a New Year’s corporate party (multiply by 1.5 if the New Year’s event is held in the +1 format, that is, with a partner).

In order for the majority of employees to attend such an event, it must be held during working hours.

We at Preply held a corporate party for the company’s birthday on Friday from 11 to 20. No one said that the wife/husband was against it or that we needed to dig potatoes - the alternative was going to the office to work. That's why everyone went, except the vacationers.

Respect your employees’ personal time; corporate parties on Saturday are extremely bad form.”

Secret two - do not violate the main principles of a good conversationalist

Practical psychology has long developed the basic principles of successful communication, including with people you don’t know. Here are the main principles of a good conversationalist:

• do not remain silent when someone discusses a topic, unless, of course, it is of an exclusively personal nature;
• be erudite enough to be able to support different topics of conversation, read more, keep abreast of the latest news, as they are discussed most often, be interested in everything and do not be lazy to read specialized articles on narrow issues, as they will broaden your horizons and help you navigate the most various issues;
• do not interrupt others, let them finish and listen carefully, so that you know exactly what the conversation was about, in case you have to express your opinion on this matter;
• do not discuss sensitive topics that may cause unnecessary controversy and strife, such as politics, as these are the issues that people often disagree on and these are the issues that people tend to argue about the most;
• do not argue with others and do not criticize their judgments;
• offer your own topics for conversation, learn to smoothly transfer one topic to another and do not return to already discussed topics, even if you have something more to say about it;
• do not give advice to anyone unless they ask you for it;
• Do not gossip or discuss anyone who is not present during the conversation. Even if others support your opinion, it will still push them away from you, since they will be afraid that next time you will discuss and criticize them;
• Laugh at other people's jokes, even if you don't find it particularly funny, and don't say that someone's jokes don't amuse you, unless the jokes are directed at you and don't make fun of your personality. And also know how to laugh at yourself, but only if someone’s jokes do not humiliate your dignity or make fun of your shortcomings;
• be tactful in your conversation, do not go beyond what is permitted, do not meddle in other people’s affairs if those around you do not want to discuss something with you;
• Give people compliments - they help start a conversation and win others over.

Difficulties in adapting to a new team

It’s worth saying right away that it all depends on the character and communication skills of the teenager. Some throw scandals, others are calm, and others withdraw into themselves. In the first case, the teenager will:

• Interrupt your interlocutor or teacher.
• Speak in a defiant tone.
• Talk disparagingly about your surroundings.
• To impose your opinion and defend it, even if it is wrong.
• Put yourself above others.

In the opposite situation, which is inherent in a constructive personality, the teenager will not cause much trouble. He will behave as usual, answer without hesitation, willingly talk about the given topics (both in an educational institution and at home), express his own opinion and take into account the feelings of other people.

An alternative type of children are insecure individuals. When entering a new society, they usually:

• They hide their own opinions. how to teach a child to stand up for it .
• They are not inclined to discuss problems that have arisen with new teachers or classmates/fellow students.
• Hiding true feelings.

A wise parent who gets along with his children will immediately recognize the difficulty in the first and last case, especially if the child behaved adequately before the change of team. In addition, teachers will definitely inform you about the successes or failures of the new student, so you definitely cannot help but notice the difficulties in adapting your child to new conditions.

It is not enough to suspect difficulties in adaptation. You are obliged to help the teenager cope with the situation, set him in the necessary working mood and teach him how to build relationships in any team.

how to respond to a student’s aggression and cruelty here.

Secret four - don’t put anyone below you and don’t let anyone rise above you

When communicating with strangers, never try to put yourself above, do not openly brag about your achievements, skills and finances, especially comparing them with the achievements, skills and finances of others. Don't try to order something to someone, don't treat people as if they owe you something. But at the same time, do not allow others to humiliate and insult you, maintain your own dignity and do not try to curry favor with others.

Mistake 3 – “Princess without a kingdom”

The girl distances herself from the company of guys, behaves slightly arrogantly and unfriendly, considering this behavior correct towards the guy, demonstrating that she has nothing to do with this “kingdom.” Her behavior shows, maybe not superiority, but certainly not disposition towards friends. This will also bother the guy because... he will realize that the girl is bored and not interested in being with his friends. The fact that the two worlds: past and present, do not fit together will lead to psychological discomfort for the guy, who may draw the wrong conclusions. Although, in fact, the princess’s behavior is just a girl’s game, a desire to show her inaccessibility and peculiarity.

Secret five - don't be afraid of strangers and what they think of you

Why do you think children get to know strangers so easily and quickly make new friends? It’s just that children always behave directly and never think when meeting them about how others treat them and what they think about them. Children are not afraid that someone may be negative towards them. So do you: do not think that someone has a negative attitude towards you and may think badly of you. Treat strangers as if they were already your friends. A positive attitude towards people will help you quickly and easily fit into any company.

How parents can help their teenagers adapt

Despite outward indifference, a child at any age needs the support of his parents. During adolescence, it is especially difficult for a daughter or son to voice this, much less ask for help. Especially before this period, adults were unable to build trusting relationships or got used to yelling at the student.

What needs to be done to help a growing individual adapt to a new team and make friends?

Intimate talk

Regardless of who told you what, you should not shout, much less punish the student. Praise him for his candor and emphasize that you are always willing to listen.

Resolve any difficulty, be it poor performance or aggressive behavior, through a calm conversation. Ask what your heir likes, what he doesn’t like, why he began to behave differently, what gnaws at him. A heart-to-heart conversation alone helps to partially solve the problem. When giving parental advice, do not impose your opinion. Let the teenager decide for himself what he needs and how to act correctly. This way you will raise him to be an independent and self-confident person who always knows what he wants.

More praise and less criticism

It’s already hard enough for him to accept new conditions and build relationships. The more criticism and condemnation he receives from you, the more painful his adaptation to the new team will be.

Notice his achievements, focus on them, turning a blind eye to minor mistakes. Remind people often that everyone makes mistakes and that’s okay.

Whether it is worth praising a teenager and how to do it correctly, find out here.

No comparisons

Comparing the heir with more successful or talented children is, at a minimum, unethical. This destroys the self-esteem of a growing person, making him tense and unsure of himself. which phrases carry hidden connotations that destroy self-esteem here.

Teenagers already react painfully to changes in environment and team. It is difficult for him to build relationships with new people. If you go on and on: “But Borenka quickly got used to the new class!” - you'll only make things worse.

Don't ignore complaints about feeling unwell

Children are often cunning. To skip classes or ignore household responsibilities, they may pretend. In this situation, show composure. Pay special attention to the real symptoms of the disease - red throat, fever, rash and the like. Psychosomatic diseases can arise from anxiety with real manifestations. They should not be ignored.

In the first weeks of adaptation to new conditions, the body may react differently, especially if you moved to a different climate zone. Give your child a break and a couple of days to recuperate. When leaving your teenager at home, prohibit him from using gadgets and watching TV.

Be on his side

Even if you are called to an educational institution and are told that the child is uncontrollable, you should not reprimand and scold the teenager in front of the teacher or fellow students. He will no longer consider you his support. Discuss this topic calmly, without shouting or scandals. Listen to his point of view.

If the difficulty lies not in the ability to adapt to a new team, but in poor performance, try to help. Offer to see a tutor or study on your own. Motivate the student to work diligently. We have already told you how to do this.

Don’t put pressure on your teenager, don’t make excessive demands

Getting used to new conditions and joining a team is difficult even for an adult, let alone a teenager. Understand that your child is just entering the adult world. He is just learning to make the right decisions and is not always aware of what is good and what is bad.

Pressure on your part, or, what is much worse, blackmail, can lead to difficulties in adapting to a new team.

Love your child as he is and encourage him to strive to become even better.

Spend a lot of time

How long has it been since you watched a movie together or went to a cafe? Try to correct such omissions! In addition, this is doubly useful - if the city is new, you can walk around, learn routes or see the sights.

Spending time together helps a teenager cope with stress after joining a new team. how to spend time with your whole family not only interestingly, but also usefully, here.

Secret six - look for common themes and remember what others tell you about

Even if it seems to you that strangers have nothing in common with you, and you are completely different people, then this is most likely a mistaken opinion based on insufficient communication. You can always find common topics for conversation, just don’t be afraid to discuss different topics. Don’t put filters on your conversation and then very quickly you will realize that the people around you have common interests with you, be it cooking, fitness or dancing, career aspirations and so on..

Also, try to remember what others tell you. Interesting information shared by someone can help you keep a conversation going in another group. Learn from other people, do not hesitate to ask them about something that you found interesting or useful. If some previously unknown person seems like an interesting interlocutor to you, do not hesitate to ask him for contact information in order to continue communication on a topic of interest.

Remembering information told by someone can help you earn the respect and favor of this person if, during subsequent meetings, you remember what you talked about earlier or, for example, on occasion, congratulate him on his professional holiday, remembering what professional field he works in.

Tips for teachers on how to adapt teenagers

When a new member comes to your team with well-established rules, it is difficult for everyone, for him, for you, and for other students. The teacher is responsible for the adaptation of the teenager. To find a common language and help your child fit into your class/group, follow the tips below.

1. Show your teenager that you are ready to support him. This does not mean that you should neglect professional ethics or established rules. Just come to the rescue as required and try to resolve conflicts in a peaceful, fair way.
2. Get involved in extracurricular activities. There is no need to drag it by force. Give your teenager something to do that will keep him occupied, interesting and useful. Designing a wall newspaper, participating in drama clubs, singing at a school concert - and this is an incomplete list of activities that can motivate a teenager or direct his energy in the right direction.
3. Introduce the teenager to the staff and teachers. A presentation in front of the class will be sufficient. Entrust the new student to a prefect or simply a friendly member of the team. There will be fewer difficulties immediately, especially if teenagers can immediately find a common language.
4. Monitor your teenager's successes and failures and discuss the topic with your parents. But not in a negative way and not in front of everyone! Explain to the parent what subjects he is not good at, what conflicts the new student has with the rest of the kids. It is advisable to talk in an empty classroom after class or on the phone.

Secret seventh - be remembered by others

Try to be remembered by others, and then the next time they meet, they will treat you as a good friend. A good joke, useful advice or hint, the ability to support any topic, erudition and fun in conversation will help you stay in the memory of people you previously did not know. Also, do not forget to look well-groomed and stylish - this will also help make a positive impression on others. Remember that people are most interested in communicating about life topics, so your openness and honesty will help you win over others.

Don’t lie to people and don’t brag, don’t invent something that doesn’t exist - sooner or later your lies will become obvious, and then people will be disappointed in you forever. Tell more relevant life stories that others can relate to, that can cheer someone up in a difficult situation, or that can help someone make the right decision.

Mistake 4 – “your guy”

A girl’s desire to please a guy’s friends can have another extreme: the desire to become “her guy” in a group of guys. This behavior is caused by the desire to share their hobbies, to become a part of the guy’s life. This can manifest itself in joint gatherings, attending sporting events, or some purely male entertainment. At first glance, this may seem correct, but with a detailed analysis of the situation, it is easy to understand that such behavior leads to the destruction of relationships. We are not talking about a situation where love arises from common hobbies. In this article we are looking at a situation where a guy introduces “his girlfriend” to his friends, and not a guy like them.

How and where to start dating?

What is the most important place for students of all times? Where are the fastest and strongest connections made? Where do you find out the latest gossip and exam questions? That's right - in the smoking room!

Do not under any circumstances think that we are forcing you to acquire this bad habit! But who’s stopping you from coming half an hour earlier than class and just standing nearby, listening, taking a closer look...

By the way! For our readers there is now a 10% discount on any type of work

It is enough to have a little friendliness and cheerfulness in your bosom to start a fleeting conversation:

• at the desk,
• on the way to the classroom,
• in front of the office,
• on the way home/to the dorm.

Sometimes just a few phrases are enough to understand the essence of the interlocutor and trust him.

The second most popular place to meet people after the smoking room is the hostel. Here you don’t have to do anything at all, new acquaintances will still find you!

However, there is a more modern place for current freshmen to meet: social networks. Having found the same “green” person online, you can arrange a joint meeting and attend classes. After all, everyone knows that dating on social networks is great for shy people, as it does not require courage. Moreover, no one will recognize you in real life if you manage to screw up online.

Be bolder and add a bold detail to your wardrobe: this way they will definitely remember you and subconsciously will strive for you

The main rule of the first day is not to be shy ! This will allow you to make as many friends as your head can handle.

Topics for the first conversation vary depending on the location. It can be:

• entrance exams,
• training courses,
• new teachers,
• number of exams and their difficulty in the first session,
• local eateries.

To be prepared for the same questions, if a fellow newcomer wants to meet you, look for information about your chosen university on the Internet from graduates. This will help you gain authority and make you seem more experienced and knowledgeable to others.

Recommendations from experts

Don’t be afraid to be a “black sheep”: modern youth loves the brave and unconventional

1. Experiment . Take courage and meet even the strangest and seemingly unfriendly personalities. It often turns out that such people use a silent and unfriendly mask to disguise their shyness and responsiveness. If you're really scared, try to imagine that you're an actor playing the role of Agent 007, whom everyone loves. Even if you fail, it is unlikely that anyone will remember this mistake the next day. Everyone will have too many other impressions.
2. Always “yes!” joint events . Until you finally get the hang of it, agree to any events: performances, cafes, theaters, walks in the park. Such meetings will allow you to better know who you should be friends with and who you should be wary of (yes, there will probably be such people in your circle). And these hikes will become an additional bright spot in your memory.
3. Prepare a story about yourself . In any case, you will have to answer questions about your life. It is better to decide in advance what information you will disclose and what information you will prefer to leave behind the scenes. It’s best to leave the most juicy details for good and trusted friends.
4. Show interest in others . People like it when someone is interested in their life. Prepare questions in advance that will help reveal the personality of your interlocutor. Ask about hobbies, interests, opinions, expectations and plans. This will not only help you win favor, but will also endear your interlocutor to you.

Don't forget that your student years should be the best adventure of your life. It is worth trying a little for this and at the very beginning of this path to establish relationships not only with classmates, but also with young people from other faculties. And student services will always be there to make the ups as impressive as possible and the downs as painless as possible.

Change the subject subtly

Once your interlocutor has spoken and explained everything, you can change the topic to something close to both of you. Don’t change it radically and abruptly - just take it in a different direction. Let's say you're talking about buying a laptop and the pros and cons of certain models. But at the same time, you have absolutely no understanding of technology. Say you want to buy something else when the topic runs out of steam. And continue the dialogue casually.

In fact, it is important to remember that not knowing something is normal and not at all shameful. A person learns throughout his life. And if you haven't read or studied something, it doesn't mean you're not ready to discover something new.