What to do if you are afraid of losing control over yourself?

When you give your anxiety complete control

Robert went through many ups and downs, which led to serious stress. He works on himself constantly. Having been unemployed for almost a year, he has lost control and feels excruciating uncertainty in every area of ​​his life. His parents, concerned about his situation, try to cheer him up and invite him to lunch every day. However, during the last meal that he shared with them, Robert suddenly felt that he was beginning to be afraid of losing control of himself at any moment.

During dinner last weekend, his brother made a small and rather innocent remark about his situation, and he interpreted it in the worst possible way. He reacted too emotionally - he got angry, raised his voice and said a lot of things that he later regretted. The dinner ended with his mother crying and his brother slamming the door. Robert knew he had a problem, but he lacked the resources to deal with it properly. He lost the ability to react normally.

This situation will seem familiar to you. If this is the case, then it is important to start by understanding all the ways that fear changes your behavior, thoughts, and reactions to certain controlled stimuli.

How to treat such fears

Not all such fears require treatment. Fears that have a neurotic (consequence of a conflict between desired and actual) origin may decrease over time; they do not require traditional treatment, but in order to prevent them from arising again after some time, you will need to work with a psychologist who will teach and help overcome neurosis and predisposition to neurotic reactions.

Fears that have other development mechanisms (endogenous, reactive states, etc.) may require complex treatment: psychotherapy, pharmacotherapy and other methods.

It is advisable, first of all, to contact a specialist psychotherapist or psychiatrist, who, during a consultation, will clarify the condition and, if necessary, prescribe therapy.

Demon of Worry

When people carry too many worries, fears and insecurities, the brain makes an almost Spartan interpretation - be careful, everything around you is a threat. With this conclusion, he determines that the only way out is to be on guard every minute and protect himself from everyone and everything.

Your judgment of reality ceases to be rational and controlled, and you give control to your instincts and the least reflexive, least logical autopilot - fear.

You experience an unpleasant feeling, as if everything that is happening is unreal and unfamiliar to you, as if you are losing touch with your body. This is called depersonalization.

You fall into a state of constant supervision, always defending yourself, overreacting to trivial things, forming obsessive and negative thoughts, anticipating what has not yet happened.

Childhood Analysis

Children copy the behavior of their parents. Watching them show pride, they do the same. Such behavior often goes against the need to maintain harmony in the family and accept the situation. Sometimes children of selfish parents become objects of devaluation and humiliation. Most likely, in adulthood, they will treat others the same way they were treated.

Like from an expensive coffee shop: making an orange Frappuccino

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Ask yourself, who taught you this or modeled this behavior?

Controlled fear

Self-help books often preach the idea that “in any situation, everyone has the opportunity to choose how to respond: it is your controlled responsibility to choose the best path.” Well yes, this message is quite inspiring, but when you are in a state of anxiety and worry, it is very difficult to understand what the right path is and where it is.

An anxious mind does not think, it reacts. An anxious mind does not have complete control over itself and therefore does not always make the best decisions. This makes us realize that managing these situations is not an easy task. It is not enough to simply have good intentions and a strong desire when there is a ball of fear inside you that prevents you from breathing freely and thinking clearly.

How to control fear

Now let's look at some strategies that are effective in reducing the fear of losing control.

How to Control Fear - Steps to Prevent Anxiety from Taking Control

Try not to control yourself. Think about it for a minute - you spend most of your time controlling your frustration, hiding your thoughts, swallowing your emotions, faking your mood. As a result, you are holding back so much that you need to do something cathartic and liberating. You are able to put everything you have inside on the table and say what you feel out loud.

Talk about your anxiety and reason with it. One way to take power away from fear is to name it and talk to it. “I am afraid of losing my family because I realize that I lose control of my emotions and say and do things that I later regret.”

Control your thoughts to control your emotions. This is the core idea of ​​cognitive behavioral therapy, one of the best treatments for people who are afraid of losing control.

The last step requires you to free and relax your body so that you can free your mind. This can be done in a variety of ways, including progressive muscle relaxation, mindfulness, yoga, or any form of exercise. These strategies will help you release physical tension in your body and allow your mind to relax and focus on the present.

You can regain control of yourself, you just have to work at it

Author: Editorial staff of the Help-Point.net portal


When a person is in a state of anxiety (and an anxious neurotic is in it almost constantly), his body prepares for “fight and flight.” This preparation is always associated with a redistribution of activity between different areas of the brain.

The amygdala in this state becomes more active, as it ensures quick and decisive action in times of danger. The cerebral cortex, on the contrary, reduces its activity, since it is not time to think, it is time to act.

This type of brain activity is completely normal. And for people who are not prone to neurosis, it does not cause any concerns about their mental health. Moreover, not all neurotics, who can worry about any reason and panic, are afraid of going crazy.

Who is most afraid?

For which group of neurotic patients are fear of loss of self-control and fear of insanity common symptoms?

Typically, the phobia of going crazy and losing control affects those people who, at the core of their view of the world, have irrational beliefs that they must control everything always and everywhere. They must think perfectly clearly at all times and under all circumstances. Feel great. No events should occur in the world that would be outside their control and could not be monitored by them.

Such people, as a rule, are perfectionists who have clear plans for every hour, day, month, year and for their entire life in general.

And since the demand for total control over the external world and the internal state of the body is utopian, such individuals fall into neurosis from a young age. After all, they cannot control the movement of the cloud across the sky and the behavior of the examiner. They cannot always control even their answers to this examiner. Because anyone can make a mistake.

And this is obvious. For all. But not for those who have placed on their shoulders the heavy need to control the world and be perfect in this world.

Since the problem of perfection and control remains unsolved, the person who undertakes its solution is constantly nervous. This anxiety is usually subconscious, but it is present.

And, as mentioned above, in a state of excitement, the amygdala is activated and the work of the neocortex is inhibited. Which actually leads to a slight decrease in the ability for clear logical thinking. But nothing more.

In principle, there is no talk of any loss of control or going crazy. But the neurotic, who has convinced himself that he must always think logically “A+” and feels that now he is only thinking “A+”, perceives what is happening as the beginning of the process of going crazy.

Low self-esteem

Selfishly proud behavior can be a way to hide inner self-doubt. People with low self-esteem often act arrogant, but in reality they are not. They are afraid of the thought that they will be considered timid, inadequate, dependent. They try to create the impression of independent, untouchable people who do not need anyone. They are often boastful and tend to exaggerate their achievements, pursuing one goal - to maintain their influence over others.

This behavior makes it difficult to recognize an insecure person, so their partners only react to external behavior. Lack of mutual understanding keeps the relationship negative.

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With proper therapy, Urbach-Wiethe disease is usually not dangerous. People suffering from this disease can live long and fulfilling lives. However, you should not neglect regular visits to your doctor. Due to thickening of the mucous membrane, airway obstruction develops in some cases. Such patients require tracheotomy or the use of a carbon dioxide laser to restore airway patency.

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Where do you get the courage?

These questions, doubts and fears are well known to me, because once I dared to ask myself about it. I found the courage to admit to myself that I live with an unloved person and have long ceased to be truly happy. Despite years of marriage and two children. I understood that questions and answers should lead to some kind of action. After all, living with an unloved man and realizing it are two different things. I could deceive anyone but myself for a long time.

Most people, somewhere deep down in their souls, believe that something in their life can change without their intervention or active action. But if you ask yourself the question, are you ready to lie on this sofa in front of this TV for the rest of your life, some people will think twice. After all, the realization that there is only one life, and while you are lying on the sofa, it passes by, is a powerful push that overcomes fear.

Actor Tom Hiddleston is credited with a wonderful phrase that perfectly captures the essence: “A man has two lives. And the second begins when he understands that there is only one life.”

I asked myself: am I ready to live with this person for the rest of my life and never again experience this happiness - falling asleep with my loved one? And I realized that I was not ready! Was I scared? Of course yes! Did that stop me?

Definitely not!

I was afraid that a mother with two children would have no time to arrange her personal life. I was worried that I would not be able to cope with financial difficulties. I was worried about whether the children would understand me when they grew up. I was afraid that I would never meet my man, and that I would lose this, in general, good man forever. But I honestly and openly admitted to myself all my fears.

I promised myself that I would try to find an alternative solution, other than the obvious one - divorce, if it suddenly turns out that all my fears are too great. The trick was deceptive, but it worked. I was able to calmly process the situation, knowing that it did not necessarily lead to a single solution.

When analyzing any aspects of your life, asking yourself what exactly is needed to feel complete, true happiness, it is important to leave yourself a small gap, room for maneuver. At the first stage of working on yourself, at the first stage of growth, this can help significantly. The main thing is to remain honest with yourself to the end. Then the most correct solution will be obvious.

Features of the disease

The rare Urbach-Wiethe disease often damages the amygdala in the brain, which is responsible for the feeling of fear. As a result, a person may completely lose fear. For example, when he sees a poisonous snake, it will be very difficult for him to restrain himself from touching it out of pure curiosity, although he is well aware of the mortal danger.

However, this was most likely what was previously thought, but recent studies have shown that it is still possible to scare such people... using inhalation of air with a high content of carbon dioxide.

The clinic begins to manifest itself already in childhood. And it is impossible to acquire such a disease during one’s lifetime.

However, this does not mean that the clinic of the absence of fear in humans is not possible for reasons other than mutation.

Changing Roles

In the modern world, the roles of men and women are constantly changing, which does not have the best effect on women who become victims of the selfish behavior of their partners. Women and men fight for power, everyone wants to control the situation, which sooner or later leads to separation.

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Do you feel safe if your relationship does not conform to stereotypes? It will require you to challenge your insecurities for something greater.

Is it really possible to go crazy and lose control?

NO! No and no again.

Panic disorder has been studied for almost a hundred years. During all this time, there has not been a single case of anyone going crazy from PA.

Yes, you may have met on the Internet or even seen inappropriate comments under my videos: frightening stories about how seizures led to some terrible actions.

Keep the following in mind.

Not only healthy people suffer from panic attacks! Panic attacks can occur in a schizophrenic, in a person who suffers from a hysterical disorder, in any most notorious psychopath (and why not, they are people too!).

And very often, the unexpected actions that these people take arise due to another disorder, and not panic attacks.

Yes, I understand that when you experience extreme fear, it can be difficult to calm yourself down. Often it is the irrational feeling of “abnormality” of the situation that arises.

But any feelings can arise during PA.

When the fight or flight mechanism is activated, you may feel like you are dying. Now you're going to die. Didn't you die? “Well, just a little more and I’ll definitely die!” - you think.

But nevertheless, your body refuses to die.

Or “I’m about to go crazy!” Didn't get off? Well, this is only due to the fact that you strained so hard, trying to maintain control. We tried our best not to go crazy! But it’s worth letting him go...

Kidding! You haven't gone crazy because people don't go crazy from PA. During a panic attack, a furious chemical storm rages in your brain: stormy gusts of adrenaline knock you off your feet, waves of cortisol cover you, overwhelm you with rapid gusts of norepinephrine. And if during such a storm something begins to seem to you...



This is an illusion caused by an internal reaction to a non-existent danger.

Treatment of the disease

There is no cure for Urbach-Wiethe disease. The absence of fear cannot yet be eliminated. At the same time, recent studies show that in such patients it is still possible to induce a feeling of fear if inhaled air with a high carbon dioxide content (about 35%) is used. Perhaps this phenomenon will lead scientists to discover other mechanisms of pathology.

Currently, treatment is limited to the dermatological symptoms of Urbach-Wiethe disease. In particular, for skin lesions, patients are prescribed dimethyl sulfoxide, heparin, D-penicillamine, as well as some drugs prescribed for psoriasis.

Some patients with Urbach-Wiethe disease experience excessive neuronal activity, which leads to seizures. In such cases, the use of anticonvulsants is appropriate.


If Urbach-Wiethe disease is suspected, an MRI without contrast is prescribed, which can detect the accumulation of calcium salts in the body. However, this symptom does not necessarily indicate lipoid proteinosis. Calcification is also characteristic of herpes simplex and encephalitis. Genetic testing plays a key role in making a diagnosis. It is this that makes it possible to determine for sure whether there is a mutation in the ECM1 gene, and if so, whether this mutation really led to Urbach-Wiethe disease.

If you are afraid of going crazy, then you are not going crazy!

Remember this principle well. People who really go crazy are usually not afraid of it. Such people will not think: “What terrible thoughts come to my mind, I must be crazy!”

They will most likely think: “I can read other people’s thoughts, this is natural, because I am a chosen messenger from another planet!”

That is, they are in harmony with their madness. And if you are afraid of the prospect of losing your mind, if such a possibility itself seems alien to you, then everything is most likely all right with you.

And then I will give several effective methods for overcoming the fear of going crazy and the fear of losing control over your own body.

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