Not everyone knows how to accept their shortcomings with dignity and adequately evaluate themselves. This is quite easy for those who have self-irony. It has been noticed that the ability to laugh at oneself protects a person from negative manifestations, for example, disappointments, insults, and anxieties. Psychologists say that mastering the skill is useful, since healthy self-irony is a sign of a mature intellectual personality.
Self-irony helps a person to adequately relate to himself and not react to other people’s attacks
Self-irony - what a feeling
When asked what self-irony is, psychology offers several definitions, but they all boil down to one essence: it is the ability to treat personal shortcomings with humor, discuss them positively and look for ways to correct them. The advantage of self-irony is that it does not allow resentment to flare up, relieves irritation and stress, and prevents conflicts. The main importance of self-irony is in preserving a person’s mental health, since it can easily be made into positive and constructive criticism.
Important! It is necessary to distinguish self-irony from self-deprecation. It happens that a person, ashamed of his own shortcomings, speaks about himself in a derogatory form, for example, because he is overweight, he calls himself a “fat trust.” This humor is destructive and more like self-flagellation. He evokes pity, not playful ease.
An individual who is trying to master irony must understand that one cannot overdo it in ridiculing oneself. Often behind this feeling are hidden negative emotions about one’s abilities, uncertainty, and self-hatred, which gives the condition a destructive character. For example, destructive irony is clearly visible in this situation: a girl with a long nose calls herself Buratino in the company of friends. She doesn’t seem to be offended when they call her that as a joke, but in reality she suffers.
What advantages does the ability to self-irony give a person?
The ability to make fun of one’s shortcomings and mistakes gives a person many advantages.
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Self-irony protects you from criticism and barbs from other people. What's the point of laughing at a person if he has already done it himself? An appropriate joke addressed to oneself helps to defuse a difficult situation and not slide into mutual insults. It is impossible to offend a person capable of self-irony
This quality is very important for public people and politicians. When speaking in front of large audiences, there is always a risk of meeting opponents who disagree with your point of view.
Irony in your address will allow you not to take critical attacks to heart. Poking fun at minor flaws can simultaneously highlight strengths without directly resorting to self-praise and get a well-deserved compliment. Knowing your shortcomings, but not being too strict about them, allows you to develop and improve. People who take themselves too seriously don't feel the need to fix anything or grow anywhere. Self-irony is a sign of optimism and a great way to make your life easier and more enjoyable. Self-ironic people are attractive and pleasant to deal with. Poking fun at yourself helps you make new connections and acquaintances.
Self-irony is often a method when flirting between men and women. “Could you help the blonde understand the instructions?” Addressing a random buyer in a store in this way, a girl, on the one hand, shows that she is easy to communicate with, on the other hand, she artificially elevates the man above herself, which is always flattering and invites acquaintance.
People don't perceive humor as dangerous. The schemer or gossiper is interested in the emotional reaction of the victim to a poisonous joke. What's the point of getting involved with someone who made fun of himself no worse than a professional comedian?
This does not mean that if we are directly insulted and ridiculed, we need to start echoing the offender and castigating ourselves. In no case! Self-irony is the prerogative of a self-confident person who will give the offender a proper rebuff.
What is self-irony a sign of?
Inferiority complex - what is this feeling?
According to research, the ability to laugh at oneself is an indicator of a balanced psyche, developed intelligence and personal maturity. In addition to everything, the presence of healthy humor emphasizes self-confidence and adequate self-esteem. It has been noticed that others intuitively consider a person who can joke about himself to be especially friendly.
Self-ironic people attract others with their friendliness
Studying a personality with constructive self-irony, experts note its inherent features:
- exclusivity,
- self-sufficiency,
- equilibrium,
- positivity,
- optimism.
Striving to become better
The need for self-improvement is inherent in human nature. Everyone, to one degree or another, has the desire to become better. We want to be proud of ourselves, to feel important and significant.
Self-irony allows you to achieve this goal. The individual stops focusing on failures. As a result, internal potential is revealed, useful energy is released, which can be used to realize what is planned.
Components of self-irony
Psychologists warn those who want to develop the ability to laugh intelligently at themselves that a sense of humor alone is not enough. When discussing what self-irony is, it is necessary to highlight its structure, which consists of important personal qualities. It is with their correction that the work on developing positive irony begins.
Striving to become better
Feelings of anxiety and restlessness for no reason - what is this condition?
The main component of self-irony is the need for improvement, which is inherent in everyone from birth. Many people want to improve to one degree or another in their profession, studies, appearance, and mental qualities. Reasonable humor helps to achieve the set goal, since a self-ironic person does not dwell on failures, but moves forward. As a result, the internal potential is revealed, a supply of useful energy appears to realize the plan.
Ability to analyze
The following fact has been revealed: if a person wants to learn to adequately joke about himself, it means that shortcomings are already subconsciously analyzed and there is a desire to correct them. The main technique for analysis is to sort out all the thoughts “on the shelves” of the mind in order to study the available resources. The accumulation of internal strength occurs when a person begins to appreciate all his capabilities.
Important! Learning to analyze current events and approach them with humor means acquiring a valuable quality. Having mastered it, a person can achieve a lot in his family and career. Working on mistakes will help you avoid them in the future.
Developed sense of humor
Gamzatov’s poems: “Two people looked out the window: one saw rain and dirt, the other saw green foliage, spring and a blue sky,” are an illustration of the fact that it is useful to look at some situations with humor. Healthy optimism underlies good humor, helps keep the nervous system in order and creates a positive emotional background.
Healthy irony strengthens the nervous system and creates a good mood
Psychologists give the following characteristics of an optimistic person:
- troubles do not unsettle you;
- the relationship between positivity in life and good health;
- there is a reserve of strength to correct your shortcomings;
- does not blame others and circumstances in case of failure, blames only himself;
- there is no increased anxiety or fear, which helps to be fearless in achieving goals.
Ability to cope with difficulties
Associated with a kind of irony is the ability to cope with life’s difficulties with dignity. For some people this is not easy, as it takes courage and inner strength to overcome obstacles. Psychologists say that self-irony can support a person in choosing a difficult decision and avoid being in the position of a victim. For example, a sane person, assessing the situation, will joke: “It was not - two deaths cannot happen, but one cannot be avoided.”
Taking responsibility
It has been proven that people endowed with positive self-irony know that they can always correct a situation if it gets out of control. There are hidden resources in the arsenal of any intellectual person; in such a process, an ironic look at current events will not hurt.
What self-irony means, an intelligent person understands intuitively. When he wants to achieve something more than just having mediocre achievements, he begins to take active steps. Therefore, if you cannot immediately achieve some heights, it is useful not to be discouraged, but to adopt a smile.
To master the ability to joke about your shortcomings, you must have certain personal qualities
Ability to cope with difficulties
This is also a kind of self-irony, since it is necessary to develop the habit of not giving in to the difficulties that arise. For some people, coming to this understanding is quite difficult. The more understanding we have of what to do, the easier it becomes to overcome significant obstacles. If you have the ability to laugh at yourself at some point, then there really is nothing wrong with your sense of humor.
Letting go of past mistakes means stopping dwelling on them. Not everyone is able to see their weaknesses, much less admit them. To do this you need to have a certain courage and inner strength. It is necessary to move away from the position of a victim and stop constantly complaining.
How to learn self-irony
How to develop a sense of humor - what it is and how it manifests itself
When mastering the secrets of irony, it is important not to turn it into mockery of yourself or others. It should become a reliable defense against inappropriate jokes. Advice from psychologists will tell you how to learn self-irony:
- Increase your horizons to rethink negative phrases;
- Learn to look at life positively, even turn a bad joke to your advantage;
- Examine your shortcomings, determine what you can joke about and what is taboo;
- Develop imagination and thinking, since self-irony is a sign of high intelligence;
- Be able to relax by mastering relaxation techniques;
- Surround yourself with people who know how to laugh at themselves, as empathy will help you joke without offending others;
- Watch the jokes of comedians, since only those who are intelligently ironic can joke about others.
Important! When a person learns to joke, one cannot overdo it with self-irony. Its excess diminishes a person's confidence and intelligence. Rather, it means defense, an attempt to hide behind the mask of a jester.
Developed sense of humor
What else is self-irony needed for? What does this mean for the ordinary person? It helps to significantly develop a sense of humor. Even when one’s hands inevitably give up in the face of seemingly impassable obstacles, a self-sufficient person will always be able to find a worthy way out of the situation.
It's just important to know where to look. If we are able to laugh at our mistakes, then we are able to correct any mistakes we have made.
Examples of self-irony from life
Getting acquainted with life examples of self-irony, you can see that the desire to kindly laugh at oneself is easily confused with manipulation. For example, the self-irony of a stuttering student during an exam would be appropriate: “Look at the theses of my diploma on the slide, otherwise we will sit until the morning.” It seems that those around him will appreciate the young man’s humor. But the affectation of a girl who, when persuaded to go to a party, replies that she “dances ugly”, looks more like manipulation. There is a clear desire for those around her to refute her words.
Important! Self-irony should not cause irritation or ridicule in people. On the contrary, it should be a healthy assessment of the situation, a mixture of humor and respect.
The outstanding film star Faina Ranevskaya was famous for her stunning self-irony. Her aphorisms about her appearance, habits, and personal qualities are still successful. For example, to the question “Are you sick?” she answered with humor: “No, I just look like that!”
Even older people know how to diversify their lives with healthy self-irony
Psychologists say that a sense of self-irony, despite its apparent frivolity, is actually an indicator of maturity and wisdom. Only those who are ready to analyze their lives, realize their strengths and weaknesses, see prospects and treat them not with harsh necessity, but easily and positively, are able to skillfully joke about themselves.
And in this case, for many years he became the “daughter of Marx and Engels”
How to develop self-irony in yourself - learn to plan your growth, the growth of your personality, thereby you will move towards inner harmony through skill. But the modest one didn’t get it - Self-irony about the fact that he managed to avoid participating in some difficult task, for example, carrying heavy loads.
Public self-irony can be of particular value. Such buffoonery towards oneself can well be called self-irony. In particular, M.I. Stankin in his book “Psychology in Business. Humor as a lever for success” provides an excellent illustrative example of the damage that self-irony that is not shown in time can cause to one’s reputation.
This example demonstrates how dependent a person’s social rank can be on his accidental mistakes. And the higher up the hierarchical ladder a powerful person is, the more serious consequences the lack of self-irony can have for him.
Irony: how to be ironic
Before defining what self-irony is, you should have a complete understanding of irony in general. It originated in Ancient Greece, where it began to be interpreted as “deception with words.” It is quite difficult to imagine simple society, psychology, philosophy and folk culture without such a significant concept. With the help of irony, every person is able to hint at the truth.
So, irony is subtle mockery. People who are interested in the essence of this concept should know that its main purpose is to contrast the real meaning of words with their literal meaning. Thus, a person will not be ironic when calling a coward “brave” and a fool “smart.” The opportunity to make fun not only of other people, but also of oneself, played a significant role in folk humorous culture, ancient comedy and satirical magazines. Many people are endowed with a similar oratorical technique, which allows them to hint about something in a hidden way.
