Narcissism is a term that describes human behavior. It usually involves complacency, overly inflated self-esteem, manipulation in relationships, and taking advantage of other people. In modern psychology there is even a narcissistic personality type. In psychiatry there is such a thing as narcissistic personality disorder. In this case, narcissism is no longer just some complex of human character traits, but a real mental illness that cannot be completely cured. The good news is that narcissism in such a serious form is very rare. However, in this article, let's talk about the normal kind of narcissism. Here is a list of 18 types of behavior of people who are narcissists (or narcissists), based on scientific research as well as expert opinion. It, of course, will not help you diagnose anything, but with its help you will already be able to identify the narcissist from your environment. Or maybe he is hiding inside you?
You are a smug interlocutor
Narcissists often believe that their views are the right and best. And they definitely need others to recognize this. For example, a narcissist believes that he has some special connection with a higher power. But it’s not enough for him to just think like that. He needs others to know this and admire how deeply spiritual he is.
Narcissism... Does it help us in life?
Of course, love for everything must begin with self-love. If a person treats himself with contempt, he will not succeed in anything good either in his personal life or in his career. Narcissism can be divided into several types.
In the first case, a narcissistic person can be seen from afar - a confident, measured gait, straight shoulders, and a high head. As a rule, these are well-groomed people who constantly work on themselves. They must be the first and the best in everything, so they rarely allow themselves to rest.
People of this type are not selfish, friendly to everyone, and try, if possible, to provide help to a person who needs it (after all, this will also add pluses to them!), but only if this help does not contradict their principles. They welcome self-criticism - in this way they only improve their situation.
It’s always interesting to talk to such people; at some points you want to imitate them, you want to follow them.
At the second stage of narcissism there are people who also carefully work on themselves, they can also be seen from afar, they feel confident in any situation, but unlike the first type, rest is a very important moment for them. Sometimes a little lazy. They love themselves for who they are; in their opinion, it’s hard to find someone better than them, and there are only a few like them!
This kind of narcissistic people are not entirely friendly and choose a certain circle of friends according to their principles. Criticism is not welcome here! Are they kind to their neighbors? It all depends on their mood!
These people, just like in the first case, become successful, unless, of course, they become completely lazy, which is extremely rare, but possible!
Well, the third type is people who are so narcissistic that sometimes they can’t figure out their own worth! Among these people there are good specialists and mid-level specialists, but they all consider themselves excellent specialists!
Do you consider yourself the most beautiful
According to a study conducted by Seemin Wazir, a psychologist at the University of Washington, narcissistic people are generally rated by society as being more flamboyant and attractive in appearance. However, this is not always the case. During the experiment, narcissists highly rated their external characteristics and mental abilities. However, when taking the IQ test, they didn’t show anything outstanding. When peers were asked to evaluate their narcissistic friends based on external appearance, their opinion was lower in this regard than the view of narcissists about themselves.
Signs of male egoism
During the flower-candy period, men often try to please their chosen ones and show their best sides.
However, it is during this period that women need to be especially vigilant and savvy so as not to connect their future fate with a narcissistic individual.
There are a number of distinctive signs of male egoism, by recognizing which a woman can make the right decision and avoid many problems in the future:
- The man is always carefully shaven, dressed, and well-groomed .
He regularly visits the gym, smells of expensive perfume, but at the same time does not consider it necessary to congratulate his chosen one on her birthday or other memorable date. In his understanding, he is the center of the Galaxy. And the fact that he turned his attention to a woman is already a gift for her. - Such individuals usually earn well or strive for this because they are sure that they deserve the best.
- In relationships, selfish people put their desires and whims first. A man with similar inclinations will demand their immediate satisfaction, regardless of the problems, mood and employment of his other half.
- Selfish husbands do not do housework at all . They consider themselves, first and foremost, breadwinners. Therefore, when they come home from work, they won’t even touch a finger. Cleaning, washing, cooking, helping with the child and other household chores, in their minds, are exclusively women's care.
- A selfish man does not deny himself anything . He can spend all his money to suit his whims, while a woman will be limited in funds and be content with little.
- Such character traits appear even in small things . If a guy, without a twinge of conscience, eats the last or most delicious piece and considers this normal, the girl is a typical egoist.
- In intimate relationships, such men behave in a similar way. They don't care about their partner's needs and desires . The main thing is to enjoy it yourself.
- Arguing with an egoist and trying to prove something to him is completely useless . He hears only himself and never admits his mistakes.
- In the company of relatives and friends, selfish husbands always praise their successes and merits in every possible way , belittling their wife’s contribution to the common cause. In some cases, such individuals will not hesitate to pass off a woman’s achievements as their own.
Representatives of the fair sex should remember that it is extremely difficult to rehabilitate a selfish man, in some cases it is almost impossible.
In the early stages of a relationship, during the period of falling in love, these qualities may not manifest themselves so acutely. However, later they will inevitably declare themselves in full force and then you will have to make a decision - to leave your husband or fight for your happiness.
You fall in love easily and blindly
People who are characterized by narcissism quickly and easily fall in love and just as quickly and easily lose interest in the person. And all because at first the narcissist, arriving with rose-colored glasses, sees in front of him an absolutely ideal partner who perfectly complements his own perfection. This continues until his “glasses” fall off and he sees everything as real. Then he understands that the ideal he saw is just an illusion. And it is this fact that will put an end to their romantic relationship. After all, imperfection cannot be next to perfection, right?
Concept and psychology
After the wedding, men return to their usual lifestyle and often begin to demonstrate not their best qualities.
If a husband can eat the last piece of cake without thinking, or without any embarrassment slams the bathroom door in his wife’s face, despite the fact that she is late, all the signs of selfishness are evident. This behavior is not uncommon in families.
An egoist is a person who looks after his personal interests as sacred and places them above all else. All thoughts of such an individual revolve exclusively around him alone.
The egoist is concerned only with his benefits and needs. The life philosophy of these people is extremely simple and consists of just one word - give.
The problem is that they rarely give anything in return and are not used to thinking about others. Selfish natures have pronounced characteristics and behavior by which they can be unmistakably identified:
- Such people are not used to and do not know how to listen to others . An egoist is inattentive to his interlocutor, often interrupts him and demonstrates complete indifference to the topic of conversation if it does not concern him personally.
- A selfish person will not hesitate to cancel a planned meeting and ruin other people’s plans if his mood changes or a more interesting offer appears. They never think about the inconvenience caused to other people.
- Ignoring the interests of others is in the order of things for such a person. They take the favor done to him for granted and rarely thank him, and if they do it, it is more for show than from the heart.
- An egoist looks at other people through the prism of usefulness. He prefers to communicate with those who can give him something or help him in some way. Such a person, as a rule, is not capable of reciprocating services.
- The word “egoism” has Latin roots - “ego”, meaning “I”. In practice, this means that such an individual considers himself special .
In his opinion, he is superior to others in everything and deserves special treatment. Hence his desire to dominate and manipulate people around him in order to achieve his own goals and well-being.
It is very difficult to communicate and live with an egoist . He constantly tries to solve his problems at the expense of others, does not consider it necessary to provide help to his friends and relatives and does not care about their needs and desires.
You like to rise at the expense of others
People subject to narcissism like to suppress others in order to further stroke their ego. Experts also believe that the desire for admiration is like a drug for narcissists. However, things get complicated because others won't admire them all the time. Therefore, narcissistic people are forced to look for new acquaintances and connections from whom they can receive a new portion of applause.
Advice from psychologists
The problem of re-educating an egoistic spouse is usually puzzled by women who have been married for a long period.
At one time, they decided to save the family and are determined to restore harmony to the relationship .
In this case, the advice of psychologists becomes simply invaluable.
How to communicate with such a man?
Psychologists give a number of useful recommendations to women who find themselves in this difficult situation:
- do not indulge all the whims of a narcissistic spouse at his first word;
- maintain presence of mind and optimism;
- give their husbands well-deserved compliments and do not skimp on enthusiastic speeches;
- maintain conversations with your spouse on topics that interest him;
- show understanding and patience.
Even a small correction in a woman’s behavior and communication can lead to a positive result.
How to behave?
Every person to a certain extent is an egoist .
If the level of pride and self-esteem is at an adequate level, then this does not cause problems.
The situation changes when the spouse becomes overly selfish and arrogant. need to be able to behave correctly with such men :
- in order not to be emotionally devastated, you need to pay no less attention to yourself than to your husband;
- the spouse needs to be periodically reminded that the world does not revolve around him alone;
- teach him to appreciate the help and services he receives at home;
- try to pass off your thoughts and desires as his own.
Many women underestimate the degree of their influence on their significant other. In the fight against the husband’s selfishness, it is necessary to use the entire available arsenal of possibilities.
How to re-educate?
You shouldn't count on quick results . The process of re-education can take many years. But if the case does not belong to the category of neglected ones, it is definitely worth a try:
- talk frankly with your husband, expressing your complaints in a gentle form;
- if the conversation did not have an effect, draw up a clear action plan for re-education and follow it;
- start defending your interests;
- stop overprotecting your spouse;
- convey to him that there are other people nearby with their own desires and whims.
Every person wants to live happily and in harmony with his family . If a man is interested in maintaining the relationship, he will make attempts to change after the first detailed conversation.
You want to always be in control of everything
Narcissists love to control everything without falling into aggression. For example, in romantic relationships, their control may manifest through constant unpunctuality or requests to give up everything and do as they want. This is how narcissistic people provide themselves with a certain comfort zone in a relationship where the other partner cannot somehow influence the situation or change anything. By doing this, narcissists maintain the sense of independence and self-sufficiency that they so desperately need.
Author. Harper's BAZAAR Kazakhstan. Photo. Shutterstock.com.
What is male pride and how to hurt it. Male pride
A blow to pride offends any person, but in comparison with women’s pride, in men it is more acute, as a result of which they become unpredictable, uncontrollable and inadequate.
In order not to hurt a man’s pride in family life, a woman needs to learn to smooth out rough edges, be able to give in, and not touch pain points. It also doesn’t hurt to find out what often irritates men the most, as well as what women’s actions they generally cannot forgive. Many women perceive the feeling of a certain impunity as the right to say and do whatever they want, as well as to achieve their goals by any means. A loving man can forgive a woman a lot if it does not go beyond certain limits. When one day such an often flexible and soft man ceases to be controllable, he greatly surprises his beloved half. Therefore, it is very important for a woman to maintain a certain line in a relationship, which cannot be crossed under any circumstances. So what will a man never forgive? A man's pride will be very much hurt by a woman's betrayal, which will be very difficult for a man to forgive. For men, their own betrayal is not comparable to that of a woman. They do not attach any importance to their betrayal, since they attribute it to a simple need for intimacy. After betrayal, they continue to consider their woman as their dearest. But with female infidelity, everything is different. Often, female infidelity is not accidental and in most cases there is sympathy, passion, search, as well as the need for affection and tenderness. By cheating, a woman makes it clear to her man that her relationship with him means nothing to her. In the case of betrayal, a man’s pride suffers greatly, and even if a man forgives, then he is unlikely to ever be able to forget the fact of betrayal and the relationship will no longer be the same as it was before.
You are not interested in the problems of others
An overly narcissistic person does not show compassion and empathy towards others. He puts exclusively his own interests first. If you often use phrases like “Is this a problem, here I have...”, then you should think about your behavior.
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Conversations are only about you
Narcissists are very narcissistic and selfish, so they are only interested in their problems and meeting their own needs. They do not pay attention to others. If someone starts talking about themselves, their emotions, experiences, then narcissists immediately change the topic of conversation. Have you ever caught yourself in dialogue with loved ones and even strangers when discussions concern only your person? Then it is likely that you really are a narcissist.
You don't take responsibility for your actions
All people make mistakes. But the nature of narcissists is such that they will never admit their mistakes or take responsibility for their actions. It is easier for them to blame other people or even circumstances for all their failures.
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