Psychology of happiness: what helps you become happy?

The concept of happiness in psychology is of key importance. The main goal of the client and the desire of the psychologist is to achieve a feeling of happiness. All correctional techniques that help bring a person into a state of harmony are focused on this. But since the concept of happiness is subjective, achieving it as a permanent sense of self can be a complex and lengthy process. For many people, it is the result of many years of work on themselves. That’s why it’s so important to understand the components of personal happiness so as not to waste years chasing someone else’s dream.

What happiness consists of: psychological theory

The main problem faced on the path to happiness is the inability to define it. Most believe that the way to achieve a feeling of complete satisfaction with life is to realize the “American Dream” - the national idea of ​​​​an ideal life. For a certain country, such a dream is its own. Following the imposed ideals, the individual does not feel happy, even if he manages to achieve the goal.

Researcher D. Montier identified 3 components of happiness:

• external circumstances;
• genetic predisposition;
• personal activity.

Genetics is an unchangeable condition, but external circumstances are also beyond our control. Therefore, to achieve a feeling of happiness and personal harmonization, you should focus on actions. You need to start from basic needs. Having a house or a car does not add joy if a person’s sleep patterns are disrupted, he eats junk food, and avoids physical activity. Also, the basic conditions for achieving harmony include close relationships. A lack of emotional connection with others causes feelings of rejection and emptiness.

The capitalist economic model forces the individual to constantly feel dissatisfaction. Having earned money to meet only his needs, he loses the ability to enjoy. Instead of the previous goal, a new one appears, turning life into an endless conveyor belt. Chasing changing goals takes away free time, health, and interferes with creating relationships. Therefore, happiness cannot be considered as the achievement of material wealth: money, while satisfying part of the needs, cannot in itself make you happy.

HAPPINESS

HAPPINESS

(psychological aspects).
The most general psychological definition of happiness is associated with an understanding of it as a feeling of fullness of being, joy and satisfaction with life, which underlie the optimal, healthy and effective functioning of the individual. Also on topic:
PSYCHOLOGY

All people want to be happy, and this is probably one of the deepest desires of a person. Happiness can be lasting, or, conversely, sudden and short-lived.

The phenomenon of happiness is full of paradoxes. One of the most famous and psychologically pointed states: the more a person strives for happiness as the goal of life, the further he moves away from it. No less paradoxical from the point of view of everyday ideas are such empirically confirmed facts that older people are often happier than young people, or that happiness is not directly related to material wealth (a poor person can be happy, but a millionaire, on the contrary, is unhappy).

Also on topic:

PHILOSOPHY

Factors influencing feelings of well-being and happiness, according to neuroscience, include the level of serotonin and dopamine in the brain. Serotonin promotes a positive emotional state, and dopamine is part of the general reward system and is produced during food intake and sexual relations. Serotonin synthesis depends on the time of day, so the tendency to depression may increase as daylight hours decrease. Therefore, we can say that the feeling of happiness, as well as unhappiness, can depend on both the time of year and geographic latitude. That. depression expresses the complete opposite of happiness and is accompanied by a feeling of sadness, despair, disbelief in the possibility of changing anything, a feeling of one’s own insignificance, denial of the meaning of life, even to the point of suicidal intentions.

As an alternative to depression, and therefore to the pessimism associated with it, happiness corresponds to optimism. The commonality of the concepts of “happiness” and “optimism” is obvious; this gives grounds for many authors to consider optimism as a structural component of happiness in its broad meaning. Nevertheless, optimism, intersecting and even coinciding in many of its characteristics with happiness, is essentially an independent and unique phenomenon of the human psyche and personality. The uniqueness of optimism lies primarily in the fact that it includes a “vector” component of life, reflecting the movement from the present to the future, the movement of the human spirit “forward and higher.” It is precisely this orientation towards a better future, faith in it, that optimism differs from happiness as a state of joy and satisfaction with the present. At the same time, without optimism, happiness is not complete, because prospects for the future, a sense of faith and hope are of decisive importance to him. Likewise, optimistic consciousness presupposes a person’s confidence in achieving greater happiness and the opportunity to be happy not only in the present, but also in the future.

Also on topic:

PSYCHOANALYSIS

Modern empirical research convincingly confirms the high degree of relationship between optimism and happiness as two important components of an individual’s subjective well-being. For example, it has been found that scores on the Life Orientation Test (LOT), which measures optimism, and happiness scores on the Oxford Happiness Inventory correlate at a level of 0.75 (Argyle, 2003, p. 178). Another study, carried out on a Russian sample of subjects within the framework of the value approach to happiness, showed that in the ideas of ordinary consciousness, the main characteristic of a happy person, in contrast to an unhappy one, is, first of all, his optimism, faith in a better future (Dzhidaryan, 2001).

It should be noted that happiness is a category that characterizes an individual, not a group. A happy group (for example, “happy family”, “happy country”) is a group where all the individuals included in it are happy, which is unlikely (for a family - sometimes possible, but for a country - never!), unless of course you take into account a situation where all citizens are simply “obligated to be happy” (D. Orwell 1984

, real-historical experience of totalitarian states, fascist Germany, Stalinist Russia). A special place here is occupied by a person’s feeling of happiness in the context of belonging to certain religious groups and spiritual and psychological movements.

Since ancient times, thinkers have been arguing among themselves what happiness is, what methods can be used to achieve it, and what makes people happy or unhappy. From a historical and scientific perspective, psychology developed in the context of philosophical knowledge, where the problems of happiness were reflected in the confrontation between two main ethical and psychological concepts of happiness - hedonism and eudaimonism.

The ideas of eudaimonism in their original version are most fully expressed in the teachings of Epicurus, for whom the desire for pleasure is the basis of moral behavior, and pleasure itself is the highest good. The idea of ​​happiness-eudaimonia also underlies Aristotle’s ethical concept, according to which the state of happiness-bliss as the highest perfection presupposes a person’s desire to correspond to his destiny (“daimon”) or “true Self,” which is acquired through the development of all those potentialities that are inherent not only in the species-typical (generic) characteristics of a person, but are uniquely represented in each human individual.

Thus, having originated in the depths of ancient Greek philosophy, the ideas of hedonism and eudaimonism essentially determined two main lines in the formation of such a scientific discipline as the psychology of happiness.

The ideas of hedonism were developed in behaviorism, psychoanalysis and even gave the name to a separate direction of modern psychology - hedonistic.

The ideas of eudaimonism are reflected in many modern theories of personality within the framework of humanistic, existential and positive psychology, for example, in the ideas of “fully functioning personality” by C. Rogers, “personal identity” by E. Erikson, “self-actualization” by A. Maslow , “personal expressiveness” by A. Waterman, the psychological theory of “subjective well-being” (an emotional and cognitive assessment by people of satisfaction with their own lives). (E. Diener, S. Rieff, B. Singer, etc.), concepts of “authentic happiness” by M. Seligman

Happiness is essentially an interdisciplinary phenomenon. There is an extensive philosophical, literary, cultural, sociological, and theological bibliography on happiness. But, at least until the 60s of the 20th century. This issue has been deprived of the attention of scientific psychology. Its rapid development in the context of psychological knowledge has emerged only in recent decades, primarily in the works of humanistic psychology and positive psychology.

Within the framework of humanistic psychology, it is worth noting A. Maslow’s ideas about self-actualization and W. Frankl’s doctrine of the meaning of life.

A. Maslow discovered that situations of self-actualization occur in the lives of all people. These situations or states, when a person for some short time acquires the traits of a self-actualizing personality, Maslow called “peak experiences.” For example, in love, when perceiving works of art, in religious ecstasy, etc., when the world is seen holistically, without reference to immediate needs, a person forgets about his “I”, finds himself outside of space and time, acutely feels the positive values ​​of the world around him – truth, goodness, beauty, justice, etc. The main thing is that in such moments a person feels more like himself, as well as decisive and purposeful, responsible, reliable and trustworthy, spontaneous, honest, self-sufficient, creative. At the same time, “peak experiences” also contain certain threats, for example, the use of drugs as a means of accessing vivid experiences.

V. Frankl (1905–1997), in the context of his approach to psychotherapy (logotherapy), contrasted the acquisition of meaning with sensual pleasure. He opposed S. Freud's teaching on the dominant role of the pleasure principle in human mental life, believing that pleasure is not a goal, but a consequence of the satisfaction of our desires. From his point of view, a person actually strives not for happiness and pleasure, but for meaning. Meaning is seen by him as the basis of true happiness ( see

. D.A. Leontiev, 1999).

One of the arguments in favor of identifying positive psychology as a separate discipline was precisely the need to develop proper psychological research on happiness. Since its inception at the end of the last century, positive psychology has declared its task to be the study of ways and possibilities for a person to achieve a good and decent life and prosperity. The works of psychologists M. Argyle, E. Diener, D. Myers and M. Seligman, M. Csikszentmihalyi) and others are devoted to this.

One of the main issues in positive psychology has become the question of operationalization and measurement of happiness. After much discussion, the characteristic of “subjective well-being”, associated with satisfaction with life and positive emotions, was adopted as a conditional measure of happiness. To measure happiness, the Diener Satisfaction with Life Scale (SWLS), the Fordis Happiness Measure (HM), Brandburn Affective Balance (positive emotions minus negative) (AB), etc. were created.

Based on empirical studies, the relationship between satisfaction in various spheres of life (social, sexual, personal, family, interpersonal, labor, educational) with well-being on the one hand, and with psychological distress on the other (Diener et al., 1985; Heady & Wearing, 1992) has been shown. ). These studies support the idea that religious affiliation, leisure time, job satisfaction, sense of humor, art, sports, social norms, etc. influence happiness.

M.L. Emmons from the standpoint of the so-called. “target” approach, summarized his own research and the work of other authors on the relationship between a person’s personal aspirations and his well-being. He looked at individual differences in the context of personal motivation, while “calling to the rescue” the concept of spirituality. This analysis confirmed his belief that “when people orient their lives towards achieving spiritual results, they tend to experience their lives as authentic, holistic and meaningful.”

It is known that happiness does not directly depend on the level of income or health, which are objective indicators and are applicable in the study of the historical dynamics of social well-being. For example, E. Diener showed that the poor from the slums of Calcutta associate less than half of their life satisfaction with their level of income (Biswas-Diener & Diener, 2001).

In addition, happiness as “subjective well-being” is significantly influenced by:

personality traits – extraversion and neuroticism;

cognitive processes and personality characteristics (self-esteem, optimism, presence of life goals, identity);

cultural differences.

People with increased neuroticism are more likely to show negative emotions, while those with more extraversion tend to show positive emotions. Moreover, high self-esteem promotes a positive attitude towards life and a more optimistic perception of events. In the context of cultural differences, studies of happiness usually correlate with indicators of collectivism/individualism in individual countries and mentalities of peoples (in China, for example, an individual’s feelings of happiness are directly related to satisfaction at the group level), with social norms of permissibility or encouragement of emotional expression adopted in different countries. ethnic communities, etc. The complexity and multidimensional nature of the relationships between various indicators of “subjective well-being” is also reflected in the fact that they are subject to age and gender differences.

The concept of “authentic happiness” by the American scientist M. Seligman (Seligman, 2002), considered both as identification and development of the strongest aspects of the human personality and their use in life (in particular, in the family and at work). It has been shown that in order to feel authentic happiness, it is necessary to turn to the strongest aspects of one’s personality. M. Seligman includes the following aspects in his ideas about authentic happiness:

“family circle” (50% of subjective well-being is inherited from biological parents, and according to Argyle, negative emotions are primarily genetically determined, and what is associated with positive emotions depends to a greater extent on the environment and individual development (inherited socially);

“individual level” of happiness (characteristic of a particular person, to which he returns every time

some time after experiencing positive or negative events;

“objective quality of life” (circumstances beyond the direct control of people - in this context, Seligman sometimes calls modern Russia “the unhappiest country”;

“subjective quality of life” (what is (or in principle can be) under the control of people - relationships between people, in particular love, friendship, good family life, supportive spiritual and religious communities).

Seligman also notes that happiness includes two types of experiences simultaneously: pleasure and satisfaction. Pleasure – has a strong sensory emotional component (for example, ecstasy, delight, orgasm, etc.) and practically no cognitive processes are involved in it. Satisfaction occurs when we do what we love, which does not necessarily involve strong feelings, but what is important is full involvement in such activity, when we dissolve in it and at the same time come into contact with the strengths of our personality.

Modern positive psychology research uses the term “flow,” coined by American psychologist Michal Csikszentmihalyi, to refer to such experiences. For example, when an artist is working on a painting and everything is going well, he ignores fatigue, hunger, loses interest in everything around him, being completely absorbed in his activity.

In Russian psychology, research into various aspects of the problem of happiness is carried out by I.A. Dzhidaryan, D.A. Leontyev, V.A. Petrovsky, A.Z. Shapiro and others.

Grebenshchikova T.A.

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Dzhidaryan I.A.
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Shapiro A.Z.

How to increase your personal happiness

Happiness is understood as a complex of important life components:

• absence of intrapersonal and interpersonal conflicts;
• the presence of harmonious relationships;
• improving professional qualities;
• expanding your social circle;
• achieving your goals.

Happiness is both a situational state and an enduring feeling. Its definition is always subjective: a person names his own definition of happiness, based on individual desires. Conventionally, it can be defined as a balance between all areas of life.

There is no universal recipe for achieving balance that suits everyone. But psychologists and personal growth coaches agree that altruism helps you get closer to a sense of inner harmony. Selflessly caring for others helps you feel a sense of belonging. How an individual sees his role in society depends on the sense of belonging and necessity: whether he has a chance to start a family, make close friends, and realize himself in society.

Personal happiness is not a process, but a feeling. Happy individuals say that to realize happiness, it is enough to accept it as a constant internal state. But this simple understanding is often preceded by a long path of self-development.

What is not happiness

Happiness is a philosophical unit from the field of feelings; many things can be presented under its brand. It is important to understand the first and main difference that this is a state, and not the presence of something. Those. buying a new thing, moving to another city, getting a degree or becoming a young man may be goals, joyful moments, life events, situations that bring pleasure, but they are not identical to happiness.

A constant influx of physical pleasure is an excessive satisfaction of needs, and not the experience of a high and deep sensation. Thus, pleasure in intimacy and food can increase hormonal balance, give a surge of euphoria, but if this is not supported in any way by internal fullness, then we are talking more about addiction, similar to a drug.

Only if a person experiences warmth towards the person with whom he is intimate will this bring happiness, and not just relaxation and stress relief, a dinner with pleasant people or in the parental home is closer in its fulfillment to happiness than simply devouring a kilogram of cake, because it's sad. Knowledge, information received, any talents and other cognitive positive aspects do not guarantee happiness, but only increase the chances of achieving it, because a person sees more opportunities. But this turns out to not always be true, because, seeing many positive aspects, a person also sees a lot of negative ones, sometimes thereby blocking his path to pleasure, because he is overly critical of everything.

The influence of the feeling of happiness on processes in the body

You can identify a happy individual by their behavior, character, and appearance. Happy personalities:

• are positive;
• have high self-esteem;
• are in constant contact with the inner world and others;
• do not get upset over trifles, control emotions;
• achieve goals;
• calm, friendly;
• respect the feelings and desires of others.

In addition to character and behavior, happy individuals are united by the specificity of chemical processes. Their bodies constantly produce happiness hormones:

1. Serotonin - promotes a good mood.
2. Dopamine - increases self-confidence.
3. Endorphin - causes a feeling of unconditional joy.

Lack of hormones negatively affects mental and physical health. Against the background of reduced immunity, viral diseases develop and are haunted by feelings of anxiety, apathy, and uncertainty. Fruits, chocolate, long walks, new experiences, and positive emotions will help increase the level of necessary hormones.

What is happiness from a medical point of view?

However, the question of what happiness is was asked not only by psychologists and philosophers, but also by scientists - doctors, people, so to speak, who will not believe in something until they see it. So, happiness can also be characterized from a medical point of view.

Happiness is the presence in the blood of hormones such as enforphins, serotonins and dopamines. It is the presence of these elements in the blood that gives a person a feeling of euphoria and makes him happy.

What's the conclusion? The more of these hormones in the blood, the happier you are? Yes, that’s right, and you can help your body get as many of these elements into the blood as possible. In other words, these elements are also called “happiness hormones” - they create a state of euphoria, as well as a background of happiness and satisfaction.

So, now let's figure out how to make yourself a happy person from a medical point of view. Sex is a great way to experience a feeling of happiness, since it is during sex and orgasm that the body actively produces endorphins.

Also, signals that it’s time to become happier are sent to the brain by chocolate and various sweets, first of all, and also by your favorite food, second.

Walking in the fresh air, as well as meeting with friends, also contributes to the production of happiness hormones on a physiological level.

So, as you can see, if you feel like an unhappy person, you can quickly fix it with the help, as they say, of the means at hand. And, again, this reinforces the theory stated above that it is easy to be happy - the main thing is to want it

.

How to measure happiness: what residents of different countries say

Researchers studying the level of happiness annually conduct surveys of residents of countries with different levels of economic development. The survey results refute the common misconception that links happiness with economic stability. Residents of European countries occupy middle positions, with Costa Rica, Mexico, and Colombia taking first place. In these countries, the majority of residents live below the poverty line, but thanks to their specific worldview they know how to enjoy little things and remain positive. And this is precisely the main guarantee of happiness.

In Russia and other post-Soviet countries, residents lack money, stability, and love to feel happy. Correcting the first two indicators is very difficult, but the ability to love is available to everyone. The feeling of being in love, admiration, approval helps to increase the level of life satisfaction.

Philosophy of happiness

However, that's not all. We have looked at what happiness is from a physiological and psychological point of view, now it’s time to deal with the highest minds of this world and find out what they thought about happiness.

So, in ancient philosophy (and we know that it was ancient philosophy that gave definitions to all feelings that exist today), the definition of happiness was the central problem; for several centuries philosophers pondered and tried to understand what happiness is.

And the first who finally understood what it was was Aristotle. To the question “ what is happiness?” he answered: “Happiness is the path of virtue.”

“. In other words, if you do good, you will be happy.

There is a truly rational grain in this assumption. After all, if you believe psychologists and bioenergetics, our reality is a mirror and all the actions emitted by us return to us with redoubled force. That is, if we do bad, they will do bad to us, and, conversely, good will also return to us.

The boomerang effect is triggered and, by the way, every person without exception can confirm its effect. So, we return to the philosophical thought of what happiness is - happiness lies in goodness. But you can achieve happiness in two ways: internal and external.

Feeling happy: how different people feel happiness

The feeling of happiness depends on character, self-perception, and worldview. Individuals who are accustomed to seeing the negative in everything consider happiness to be an innate talent, the result of luck. The habit of feeling unhappy prevents you from noticing the pleasant moments of life. They become fixated on bad luck, reveling in misfortune. Success causes anger, irritation, envy.

When an individual's views contradict the idea of ​​happiness, he becomes accustomed to the position of a loser. To change your internal state, you need to focus on it and consciously manage it. To do this you need:

• sincerely want to become happy;
• determine your personal understanding of happiness;
• develop the habit of looking at the world positively.

If a person cannot independently determine which direction he should move, he should consult a psychologist.

Let's start with prevention

A good basis for happiness is to reduce your unhappiness. If a person is not feeling well, he has little money, he is in constant danger, it is difficult for him to be happy. First he needs to get out of the zone of unhappiness, and this will be a good basis for achieving happiness. This is a necessary condition, but not sufficient.

Happiness/unhappiness is not one scale, but two different scales that are closely related to each other. In my opinion, the best way to be happy is to prevent unhappiness. Yes, of course, preventing unhappiness does not lead to happiness, but at least it allows you to achieve it.

Facts about happiness

Happiness
depends on external conditions by about 10%, on genetics and personality - by 50%. About 40% of happiness is determined by the meaning we put into our activities. Thus, a very significant proportion of the difference in happiness depends on our specific decisions and is in our hands.

Happiness

“It’s having what you want and wanting what you have,” research has proven. Two psychologists (Larsen & McKibban, 2008) asked students about the material things they already owned and those they would like to have. Participants then completed a questionnaire measuring their life satisfaction. It turned out that both those who like to have the things they have and those who have the things they wanted to have are happy. Mindware Lab

Happiness

– this is more than emotions. Happiness, like the weather, is more than temperature, pressure and wind speed combined. For some, such weather characteristics will be happiness, and for others, misfortune.

Happiness,

as studies have shown, it depends not on health, but on well-being.

“An analogy can be drawn between well-being and the weather. Anyone can say about the weather: good or bad weather. But there is no scale for measuring weather that would allow us to give a single digital assessment of the weather as a whole, other than a subjective expert assessment. It is necessary to separately measure pressure, wind speed, temperature - the weather as a whole cannot be measured.” Dmitry Leontyev

Happiness, from the point of view of neurophysiology, is a cocktail of certain neurotransmitters that cannot be synthesized constantly, the body is depleted. The orgasmic state of happiness cannot last long. Then devastation often occurs.

The desperate pursuit of happiness is precisely evidence of unhappiness. Those who most want to get close to him are the most unhappy people. They seek happiness as compensation for their condition. Setting yourself the main goal in life to achieve happiness means taking risks. If this goal is not achieved, a person is forced to devalue either the goal or himself.

researchunhappinesschangepsychological attitudeshappiness

The view of psychologists: what is happiness in psychology

Psychologists define happiness by considering the harmony of mental processes that contribute to the development of personality. Mentally healthy individual:

• has an active life position;
• focused on self-development and self-improvement;
• strives to create a family and harmonious relationships;
• able to admit mistakes and learn from them;
• has a personal opinion and is not afraid to express it;
• endures life's difficulties with steadfastness;
• makes informed decisions.

Working with a psychologist helps the client determine what he wants to see in the future and how he can achieve it.

Happiness is contentment

The peace that a person misses while constantly striving for the future must come from within, from the depths of consciousness. Happiness involves being satisfied with what you have. But if we leave the definition at this stage, then happiness would be the state of a well-fed person, or the state after successful sex. And indeed, I’m sure some people can say that this is happiness for them. But this assessment does not suit me!

Happiness is not just contentment . Otherwise, it turns out that happiness is simply the absence of hunger and passion. Happiness is fullness, a feeling of joyful wholeness throughout the whole being!

Rules for the life of happy people

Happy individuals, regardless of age and place of residence, follow similar rules:

• live in the moment;
• avoid envy;
• have hobbies;
• love travel, new experiences;
• are attentive to loved ones;
• lead a healthy lifestyle;
• make friends with positive people;
• avoid comparisons;
• set the right goals.

Happy people are not afraid of loneliness and silence. They enjoy self-discovery as much as communication, finding new opportunities where others see obstacles.

Happiness is “now”

When, about ten years ago, I began to be interested in Eastern philosophy and esoteric ideas, I read or heard somewhere that the word “ happiness ” comes from the word “now”. What does it mean? This means that happiness is not just the satisfaction of having what you currently have. The reason for the experience is even deeper. Happiness is psychological satisfaction with accepting life as it is. Happiness is the absence of the pursuit of an eternal non-existent future and complete spiritual agreement with what exists here and now.

So, it turns out that the definition of happiness has grown from the world of objects to the category of time. If previously happiness was a part, now it has become a period of time in which life occurs. After all, it is obvious that life always happens only in the present, and if you are satisfied with what is, you realize that here and now there is no past that would burden you, and there is no future to worry about. You dissolve in what is - in the present. Isn't this the enlightenment that all teachings talk about?

From my own experience I can say that both the first and second definitions correspond to what I understand by happiness . Here, however, we come to a frightening edge. To such a line that not everyone is ready to accept, and not everyone needs it. If you are satisfied with possession and satisfaction, you may not want to “digest” stage of happiness

Happiness as a skill: tools

If happiness is considered the goal of life, then it turns out that being happy is as much a skill as being able to set goals correctly. And now a system of skills called “happiness” is beginning to emerge. And the first of them is to correctly set the goal of being happy. In the literal sense - to put it correctly. For example, according to the same SMART model, widely known in management, that is, to formulate your concept of happiness in terms of specificity, measurability, achievability, relevance and certainty in time. And this will be the first and very important step towards becoming happy and feeling stable as such. And then there is already a prospect for the formation and systematization of happiness skills, as well as the tools that help to master them. Let's start with these.

We objectify and digitize

Learn to objectify and even digitize your happiness as specifically as possible. While this may seem a little unspiritual and even vulgar at first, it will actually help you make it more achievable. The same applies to planning if your concept of happiness includes an event component. Buying a new apartment in the center, going on vacation to Sicily, getting a second higher education, etc. There is no need to be shy about translating your happiness into the language of material objects and processes. Happiness is not afraid of commercialism, happiness is afraid of uncertainty. After all, each of us is not a disembodied spirit existing in an airless space. But “I want something, I don’t know what exactly” - this is somehow very far from happiness.

Introspection and black and white balance

But what happiness really loves is introspection and, in general, deep systemic reflection. Without introspection, it is very difficult to maintain a balance of the rational and the sensual in oneself, a balance of successes and problems in one’s personal, family, and professional processes. But it is very easy to develop neuroses, phobias and manias. We remember: everything that we have not properly comprehended in sufficient volume fills us up like spam. Our sphere of the unconscious fills and overflows, like a garbage container, with all sorts of rubbish that we forget to clean out. And then one way or another he comes out and throws unpleasant surprises at us.

How to achieve a resourceful state from scratch

Self-analysis, memory and visualization will help you achieve resourceful states, even without any special circumstances and conditions at hand. How it works? Remember down to the smallest details, emotions and sensations your most resourceful state, that is, exactly when and how you were truly happy. Something from childhood, youth or any other moment, but it must be a very specific episode, event. For example, you go with your parents to the New Year party, or climb the mountains with friends, or receive a long-awaited diploma, first salary, award, or a kiss of love. It could be some kind of strong joy, delight, energy filling. Or even the tickling in the nose and sucking in the pit of the stomach anticipation of it. Do you remember? Now try to feel the same now and catch yourself on the same drive, feel a surge of strength and readiness to take a running start. If you practice this technique regularly and master it as a skill, then you can learn to enter your true resource state from just the thought of it.

Enjoy the little things

Learn to enjoy small joys. And for this you need to be able to infuse joy into your regular practices. When I was the head of one of the structural divisions of a large state organization, I ensured that my employees had order and cleanliness in their workplaces. We had an abundance of internal documentation, incoming correspondence, office equipment, and all sorts of tools, but everyone’s desks were never sloppy or cluttered. We proceeded from the principle “the external is a reflection of the internal”; hygiene and aesthetics of the workplace are not only a continuation of personal aesthetics and hygiene, but one of their reverse conditions. In addition to the daily sanitization of workplaces (as we called it), we regularly, once a month, carried out general cleaning in our offices, optimizing the work space. It was held under the motto: by clearing the space physically, we clear it energetically and attract to ourselves a flow of success and joy from our results, current and future. To colleagues from other departments, who existed in an atmosphere of “creative chaos,” our initiative seemed comical. “Is this something from feng shui?” - they grinned sarcastically. - Why not, if we were doing much better than others.

Small gifts

Every day, no matter how it went, you need to give yourself a small but meaningful gift. It may be inexpensive and small, but desirable and enjoyable. It could be a little thing bought for symbolic money, something tasty, a good movie or a book before bed. Life is worth living and enjoying, of course, not harmful to the body. Every day you live can be considered a small victory over the forces of chaos - this is the setting for this skill of happiness. One of my former colleagues, a psychologist, used such a simple but very cute tool called “wish leaves.” Moreover, she used it not only in her trainings, but also practiced it in life. What's the point? Take a block of small tear-off leaves for notes. One small gift is written on each one, and then all the leaves are mixed in a hat. Every day, morning or evening, she, like a magician, took one magic leaf out of her hat and received a gift for that day. It could be “a pie”, “a walk in the park”, “a call to a girlfriend in Rostov”, etc. This helped her: every time we saw each other at work or on some common business, I admired her sincere smile.

Happiness as a state

Nowadays, there are more and more people who, with age, feel as if spontaneity, simple joy, lightness and light are leaving their lives. It’s as if the wings that used to carry them in the clouds of happiness become heavy and often do not obey. Wings of the same perception and experience of the world that they had in childhood and adolescence. Now, in order to achieve positive emotions and bright feelings, more and more effort is required. And I don’t have as much strength as before. Disappointments, remorse, the habit of self-criticism, envy, fears - this is what these people now carry in their souls instead of the ability to spontaneously and enthusiastically accept the world in all its diversity and splendor. Can such people change their worldview? The question remains open, at least from within the concept of happiness as a state.

Happiness, as a state, comes and goes. We can only notice its advance and lose our heads when it comes and floods us like a spring flood on collective farm fields. Or sadly, with tears, look after it when it moves away, tired of our society.

As a state, it can be experienced, but not fully differentiated. It seems indecomposable into its simplest elements and therefore incomprehensible. For people who accept happiness only as a state, it seems like a kind of miracle that will either happen to them or not, and this “yes or no” is called fate in their language.

You can passively wait for happiness as a state and wait your whole life. Just like how home-grown princesses with royal self-esteem wait for their princes on white unicorns or in white Mercedes, and everyone else who is not of the caliber is turned away. Or the princes themselves, who have been waiting all their lives for a rich match without problems, but are in no hurry to kill a dragon for it. Or a dream job, for example, in Silicon Valley, USA, California, well, at worst, a specialist in paid hugs in Miami, but they consider selling themselves on the labor market as something beneath their dignity. “I want to be happy so much, I deserve it, but what depends on me?!” - this is their message in life.

This, of course, is an extreme, but it is so widespread that it covers almost the majority of humanity. And, like any extreme, it has its downside. Either we are ready to sit and wait by the sea for weather, or we want everything at once and right now. And because this doesn’t work out, doesn’t come true and doesn’t happen in most cases “at the behest of a pike,” we become despondent and hasten to become disillusioned with life, with ourselves, with our surroundings and with the whole world.

So, the fact that happiness is a state is an indisputable fact. And there is nothing wrong with it. Bad, wrong and losing in advance is our fatal attitude towards this state as something completely independent of us, or dependent to a very weak degree. As one of my friends from my youth, a complete fatalist, and now a widely known philosopher in narrow circles, said: “he gives life to some with both hands, and turns his back to others.” It is clear that there are objective external circumstances, a sociocultural environment, and differences in innate data for each of us. But there are so many examples in history when people who climbed out from the very bottom of life became successful, famous and happy. Or simply happy, which is quite enough according to Hamburg standards.

It is quite correct to recognize happiness as a mental state, but then you will need an answer to the question: how controllable is it? Or even more specifically: will a person who passively contemplates happiness from a distance as an abstraction or someone else’s example, still unattainable for him, be able to move into the active phase and become, as they say, “the smith of his own happiness”? Let's answer this: there is a fundamental possibility, and for its implementation it is necessary to combine an event that can produce a real shock for such a person, and his own desire to change and regain peace. You will also need a nuclear cocktail of his will, perseverance and patience, and, of course, certain skills. Happiness skills.