You madly love your job and at the same time every day you force yourself to go to work as if it were hard labor. Think about it: perhaps the reason is a team that hates you?
If something seems to you, then most likely it doesn’t seem to you, says popular wisdom that will turn anyone into paranoid. How to avoid depression and nervous tics if you feel like your colleagues don’t like you? Make sure this is really so.
In this article, Work.ua presents a list of signs that indicate one thing - they are not happy with you at work, and as a bonus, they briefly tell you how to get rid of tension in the team.
Signs that your colleagues don't like you
- They do not communicate with you on third-party topics. If all your colleagues talk to you exclusively about work and don’t ask about your family and hobbies, although they constantly communicate with each other about this, most likely they don’t like you.
- They never agree with you on anything. Often colleagues do not even want to listen to the end of the renegade’s proposal, cutting him off mid-sentence. In such situations, everyone present understands that the team feels a very strong hostility towards one of the employees.
- You are being ignored. Not only do employees not listen to your opinion in meetings, but they often forget to even return a greeting or say goodbye at the end of the day? One of two things: either they are very busy, or they are against you.
- All jokes are in the milk. Even the wittiest comment from an unloved colleague is met with stony faces by others, and the one who can’t stand it and smiles is rewarded with cold glances.
- They show you superiority. If your coworkers talk down to you and act like they're senior when they're not, you're definitely not their favorite. It's a stretch to say that a patronizing tone is acceptable towards a newcomer. But if you've been with the company for six months or more, it could be a sign of hostility and attempts to rise at your expense.
- There are rumors about you. Colleagues giggle behind your back, whisper, but fall silent when you enter the room, and the most unceremonious ones ask if it’s true that you inherited a house, are pregnant with your boss, or work part-time at a competing company (or your own version).
- You are not invited. Is meeting with colleagues outside the office something out of fantasy for you? Do you have lunch and drink coffee alone? This means that your employees are at least wary of you.
- You are always in the role of the culprit. Colleagues constantly make you out to be the only culprit in certain incidents, even if you are not at all involved in them. Your achievements are either ignored, belittled, or attributed to completely different people. And if you really mess up, your boss will know within half an hour.
- They are looking for a new place for you. When your colleagues constantly send you links to various vacancies, “pity” you because of your low salary and mountain of responsibilities, and vying with each other that this company will not give you anything, there is a high possibility that they just want to get rid of you.
How to cope
If you are convinced that you really are not liked at work, you have three options:
- Accept and continue to live in a hostile environment, but this is fraught with constant psychological discomfort, which can result in real depression. Therefore, if you are ready to put up with dislike at work, then at least at home try to be around people who love you - family and friends, and also pets.
- Quit and don't look back - in some cases, especially if you don't particularly value your place in the company, quitting may be the best option.
- Solve problems with colleagues. This path is not the easiest, so they start with themselves. Find out what was the main reason for your colleagues’ dislike and fight it, if possible. Find the ringleader (every team has an informal leader) and talk to him. Make friends with like-minded people: perhaps the cold glances of your colleagues are intended not only for you, but also for one or two “lucky” people, find them and become friends.
We also advise you to take a closer look at the situation. It may turn out that you really just feel like you are not loved. But in reality, everything is not so bad, and you just don’t notice how much you are appreciated.
Work collective: Everyone hates me. How to behave if you don’t like people at work
If the answer to at least one of these questions is negative, the best option is to write a letter of resignation. It is unlikely that anyone will blame you for cowardice or lack of will for refusing to fight an aggressive crowd for an empty idea. If you are determined to fight, take our advice into account.
GET VICIOUS
If, with a sufficient level of anger, you complain about a bad memory, start writing down all the insults inflicted on you. Keep a diary for this purpose. So write: “Today at 11:24 Ivanov insidiously stepped on my foot, after which he laughed in my face. Bastard." German psychologists advise doing this.
Recorded attacks will help assess the strength of the opponents, understand who exactly belongs to them, what the role of each person involved is, and whether the attack can be called well-planned and systematic. In addition, having before your eyes the actual scheme of military operations, you will be able to develop a set of response measures.
IDENTIFY THE INSTARTER
Almost certainly the initiative comes (or originally came) from one person. Perhaps, even without analyzing your notes, you will be able to identify him - most likely, this is the one with whom you have an unresolved conflict. Now is the time to try to establish contact with the ringleader and eliminate the quarrel. Perhaps a confidential or, conversely, tough conversation will help out. If the instigator is a truly authoritative person, the mobbing should come to naught.
FIND THE “WEAK LINK”
In ancient Roman stadiums, even after the most boring fights, there were citizens who raised their thumbs up out of a desire to save the lives of careless gladiators. Among your attacking colleagues, there will probably also be those who deep down sympathize with you and remain silent during the discussion of your new polka dot tie. By getting close to them, you will practically introduce a saboteur behind enemy lines. From now on, when talking about your odious person, sometimes approving voices will be heard.
FIND YOUR MATES IN ACCIDENT
It is likely that you are not the only one who is being mobbed in your friendly team. If one of your colleagues is also constantly forced to endure attacks and provocations from colleagues, you and he will probably have a couple of common topics of conversation. It is unlikely that you will be able to form an invincible alliance, but at least you will have a psychological outlet that will help you cope with other problems faster.
ELIMINATE OPERATION ERRORS
Even if the office has turned into a psychological battlefield for you, this does not mean that you need to forget about work. Your opponents are just waiting for you, carried away by the confrontation with them, to begin to ignore your immediate responsibilities.
Elena Mine 08/20/2019, 20:13
Piscis primum a capite foetat
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XX 08/20/2019, 21:57
Congratulations! You're cool. Let's remember ancient traditions - A man caught a goldfish. The goldfish says: “Ask for what you want, but know that your neighbor will receive 2 times more.” The man thought and thought: “If you ask for a house, the neighbor will have 2 of them, if you ask for a lot of money, the neighbor will be twice as rich, it’s not the same...” Suddenly it dawned on the man and he decided: “Goldfish, gouge out one of my eyes.” Thieves don't come to an empty house. Why were you showing off - look, the boss is a toad or a crocodile - are they beautiful and happy? Everyone has grief and misfortune - the world is bad, children are parasites, and your photos on the seas and their faces glow. Why didn’t you come to the corporate party to drink and didn’t applaud the bad striptease of drunken women? We went to the theater. Now look carefully, listen and decide for yourself whether you want to become like this - a whining and envious mold, willing to work for the mold. Or, well, those... Keep in mind. There will be revenge.
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Elena Chaika 03/04/2020, 10:16
Super) to the point)
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Mikhail Rikhtar 08.20.2019, 22:21
Everything is correct, the outcasts are the leaders. The heart of gold “quiet water - rowing in the ditch.”
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Oleg Ivanchenko 08/20/2019, 22:37
One of the listed “symptoms” is enough to leave without looking back. And this, by the way, is the only correct decision, as for me.
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Yana Petrenko 08/21/2019, 09:33
I support
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Elena Chaika 03/04/2020, 10:18
And, moreover, go to a higher salary, to a top position! Let them envy)))
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Lyudmila Nakonechnaya 08.20.2019, 23:40
if you're tired of sending me job vacancies, that's your right.
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Alexey Bosyuk 08/21/2019, 08:32
Pha, who cares what idiots think? Did they hire you? No. And they are not the ones paying you. The only option to pay attention to this is if you are directly harmed. Then either the director will give them [obscene language seen by the Work.ua moderator], or they will quit. And so let them cackle.
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Victor Plynov 08/21/2019, 09:55
“You absolutely love your job...” Have you tried unloading the cars manually? Should I raise the barrier manually at the entrance?
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Victor Plynov 08/21/2019, 10:00
I suggest that office workers remember what they looked like before the New Year’s corporate party and what they looked like after. “They like it, they don’t like it...” They also talk about “competition” afterwards. If only everyone loved everyone, heaven would come.
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Igor Gavrylyshyn 08/21/2019, 10:39
Actually, because of such bestiality and bullying, especially in the USA, where such bestiality is highly developed at work and in schools, shooters arise who kill everyone indiscriminately with small arms. So let your colleagues mock and put pressure on you, but always remember that The steepness of the target does not affect the trajectory of the bullet.
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Ekaterina Yurkova 08.21.2019, 13:39
Do I need 100 dollars for everyone to love me? I don't go to work for love. The main thing is that loved ones and family love, and everyone else... This...
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Svetlana Tishchenko 08/21/2019, 19:03
If it is not possible to find another job, you need to look for a way out of the current situation. Look at yourself from the outside, maybe you are doing something wrong. After all, everyone can’t dislike you for no reason. Let it be not love, but respect that can always be won. The main thing is to understand the reason why you became an outcast. Basically, everything depends on you and your desire to work in this organization. It’s not a fact that the other one will be better.
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Anna Tsira 08/21/2019, 20:29
The theory of what you can think of... The article is provocative for humanity. The benefits of rebirth or is there really a stink? No one is forced to give a fuck, everything is quite casual. And why are the rights and freedom prescribed to us, which allow us to have a different field of activity? The situation described is similar to corruption. Are there any chances of rehabilitation? Nobody protects informal meetings, but you can regulate them so that it doesn’t matter to you.
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Victor Plynov 08/22/2019, 08:39
Why does a person get hired? For the sake of earnings and career? Is the employer interested in employees competing with each other? Or are people hired to “establish personal relationships”? Different people will answer these questions differently. How will you, as an employee, feel about yesterday’s comrade who received a promotion and became your boss? It is impossible to fit the motives of a person’s actions into a certain pattern. Also, do not forget about certain historical, cultural and other aspects when discussing this topic. In another country, legal proceedings may be initiated against you for looking at a female colleague with excessive interest, for example.
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Victor Plynov 08/22/2019, 08:45
Some people love Stalin. They say he was a soul man. And a fair leader.
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An employee's motivation may vary, but so can the boss's approach.
At the same time, an employee can show this rejection in different ways: challenge the received order in front of everyone, wage a hidden struggle, or weave intrigues. Managers often make the same mistake in this case. They want to put the subordinate in his place by any means possible, giving him arguments in favor of why the order should be carried out. But the problem is not to convince a person of the advisability of following an order. Employees in most cases do not want to seek practical benefits for the organization. He may not see any personal benefit in obeying this order. He has his own goals and objectives: it is important for a subordinate to sit out from call to call and get his money for it.
It is imperative to find out exactly why the subordinate does not want to carry out the order. What is behind his resistance? Could it be a disagreement with the way you are doing business, or perhaps personal interest and career ambitions? In this case, it does not matter what exactly the subordinate is hiding behind. He can use any arguments to justify himself - for example, saying that he cares about the good of the company. Therefore, the leader needs to influence not the external manifestations, but the internal reason that is behind the sabotage.
Most often, it happens that conflicts between a boss and a subordinate are hidden. After all, not every employee will decide to openly confront the manager. Depending on this, it is already possible to develop a further strategy: for example, improve the motivation system if the employee is not enthusiastic about following orders precisely because of monetary reasons. Or talk to your subordinate openly if he is not satisfied with the leadership style.
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