The path to true love: 7 difficult stages of relationships

On what basis do relationships develop?

The path to love is quite complex and consists of several stages in the development of relationships. It is impossible to be sure from the first meeting that a person is really your soul mate. Yes, there is love at first sight with a happy ending. But this is rather an exception to the rule, and such an event suggests that people really know how to maintain relationships and truly love.

Before you can understand the special significance of relationships in your life, you need to go through certain stages of their development. As is customary in psychology, there are seven such stages: falling in love, satiety, disgust, humility, service, friendship and love. How long does it take from the start of meetings to the cherished feeling, you say. But I would like to note that anyone who has not gone through all these stages in a relationship has not experienced true love.

Why is everything so difficult? Imagine a situation: a man and a woman decided to build a house. They so wanted to find real comfort and tranquility quickly that they neglected the quality of the foundation, and the walls were made from the cheapest materials. Inside, of course, they hung beautiful wallpaper and placed comfortable furniture. But at the very first bad weather, the foundation of the building began to wash away, the walls were askew, and the windows began to close poorly. As a result, moisture and cold began to penetrate into the rooms, and mold appeared on the walls. These two became completely uncomfortable living in such an environment. Soon they quarreled and could no longer remain a couple.

It’s the same in love: without building a high-quality foundation, without going through all the hardships and expenses, it is impossible to get real happiness. The path to a great goal is always very difficult, but the sweeter the victory will be in the end. So, let’s consider in order all 7 stages of relationships in a couple, preceding the most important feeling in a person’s life.

Hatred and disgust towards women

When you realize all the primitiveness of women, the essence and reasons for any of their behavior, then, at first, you are severely disappointed, which is why hatred and bitterness appear. And then you realize that “you yourself are a fool” because you yourself initially built the wrong attitude towards them. He was naive and placed hopes on them that they physically could not justify.

Only hatred and disappointment in women is a bad level up, this is not the enlightenment we need, it is unproductive. But it’s productive when you realize that you yourself were a fool and were mistaken about them. You wanted what they couldn't give you. But I persistently searched for this treasure, this mythical Holy Grail. It didn’t work with one, then I tried with the other, and so on constantly. Each of them, by their behavior, made you understand that “there is no such thing, this does not exist, you are delirious, you have invented a fairy tale for yourself, wake up!” Each of them, with their behavior, symbolized the question: “Are you an idiot or what? Maybe you’ll ask yourself this question?”

And you stubbornly believed that there is “love and a loved one.” I was looking for a comrade-in-arms and kindred spirit, my beloved, my princess, special and not like everyone else, who would support and help. Yourself in a female form, your own copy, which thinks the same way as you, almost lived and suffered the same life as you. Your mirror image, with whom you would have philosophical conversations and strive for great things.

Life is trumpeting you in every possible way: “Boy, stop doing nonsense, take a realistic look at how the world and women work.” Life constantly gives everyone signs, but people stubbornly refuse to notice them. They came up with something for themselves, or someone told them something in childhood, and they live with these beliefs all their lives. She constantly shows them what delusions they are in. Sometimes it even hits hard - they lose their health, they almost begin to become homeless, because they do everything against nature. They develop all sorts of complexes at the level of muscle tension, because all instincts are suppressed. But they still don't draw any conclusions.

And when you somehow miraculously begin to see the light (for many this will happen after reading this book), then hatred towards women may appear. They can become annoying. In general, in this case, hatred of women is a kind of intermediate stage, which, in principle, is useful. The main thing is not to stab them 15 times (as in the famous case), not to kill, not to beat, and not to touch them at all.

But some do not go further in their insight - they stop at the stage of hatred and begin to mock women. To mock his wife, to humiliate, to beat. That is, he understands that a woman is a stupid creature, and begins to bully her. He plays all sorts of tricks on them all. Some Bitsa maniac or Chikatilo might appear and start killing and dismembering them.

In fact, hatred is a passing stage. And you need to get to the point where you understand that you yourself are a fool. He himself could not draw basic conclusions, understand simple truths, and therefore he brought himself to such a state. Okay, if I still realized this at the age of 25-30, it’s already too late. And when do you realize this at 40 and 50? There is, of course, nothing left there, and you are only engaged in destruction. There is nothing left to create, time is lost. You can only destroy, because at least it gives you some emotions. You are taking revenge on this world. You are taking revenge for being led by the nose all your life. You programmed it from childhood, taught it, and now, in your old age, you understand everything. I woke up and disconnected from the program.

***

After reading this book, a guy may experience the following state: he will understand that women are all approximately the same, that they have a set of standard qualities, although they manifest themselves with varying degrees of intensity. They are all driven by only three instincts. They all blow their minds - one less, the other more. In general, the parameters for all are approximately the same. And here, if the youthful hypersexuality has already disappeared, when he was ready to impale even a pig, then the guy will simply be too lazy to do something for the woman, because it is not worth it.

Previously, women were a kind of absolute, meaning and purpose in life. The guy did everything in his life for them. Either a specific one for which there was “love”, or in general for the sake of success with women. Then, at some point, the understanding comes that something is not right here. Understanding comes, as a rule, after disappointment - a state arises that “all women are creatures, bitches, bitches, they value nothing.” Hatred and disgust appears towards them.

This is, in fact, a normal transitional stage, but many remain in it. A guy looks at any woman and thinks: “Now she’s going to start blowing her mind, now she’s going to say this and that, now she’s going to spout such and such nonsense.” Everyone who has an aversion to women continues to try to find confirmation of their negativity in any woman. They immediately expect her to be a scammer, to blow her mind on the topic “a man should, a man must!”, to be stupid, to talk some kind of crap, to force him to “jump over the curb,” to perform some formal rituals in order to “achieve” her. . And they naturally find these confirmations. Because women can’t help but do this at least a little bit. And the guys are even more disappointed.

This is a signal that your rose-colored glasses about “love” have fallen off. You also need to understand that you yourself have treated them incorrectly all this time. They expected from them what they could not give in principle. They behave differently and cannot behave - this is an objective fact. Yes, to some extent, society deceived you, because it always installed in you certain idealistic ideas about relationships and family. But you yourself did not think about these topics, you blindly believed and searched. Besides, they themselves fantasized. Accordingly, expectations were not met, disappointment accumulated, and, in the end, all this spilled out into disgust.

When such an understanding comes, you just need to rebuild. There is no point in starting to hate them, doing nasty things to them, because they cannot be what you imagined them to be. They cannot understand something logically. They are just different, and you need to understand that. More biological, with small associative centers, experiencing constant hormonal influence on their body, their rational activity is poorly developed. They have a certain set of parameters with which you can interact, and be happy yourself, and make them happy too. Don’t accumulate anger at them, don’t shit bricks and only make things worse for yourself, worsening your prostatitis, because you don’t even fuck them anymore, since you have nothing but hatred for them. As soon as you have some kind of relationship, but since you were initially determined to find everything bad, you immediately start arguing with them, and nothing sticks together.

It’s all pointless, you can’t run away from yourself and your instincts. You need to fuck with women, build fleeting romances, enjoy life and satisfy your instincts. You just need to treat it all correctly, and everything will be fine. As a result, peace, understanding, worldly and philosophical wisdom comes - you already take it calmly, you don’t tear your claws. Calmly and rationally you look, evaluate, communicate. If you come across “maramoyki” or “mercantile” ones (as I used to call them), then now you already understand that this is normal. Because they cannot realize themselves in any other way, only through a man. So when you consciously indulge their desires (without straining yourself), then everything starts to go well with them.

***

Your task is to find in the girl the compromise that will be optimal for you. It will not be possible to find a woman with whom you both will be self-sufficient, so that no one does anything for each other. You still need to do something for them, but for each of them these needs manifest themselves in different forms and intensity. And they can also satisfy your needs in different ways.

Usually guys go to extremes, when at first they did everything for a woman, but now they don’t want to do anything. Previously, they were looking for “special and not like everyone else, the love of their whole life,” and they tried for her sake. And then they froze, decided that “all women are cruel, mercantile creatures” and began to look for a “soul mate,” that is, a woman in a man’s guise who achieves everything herself.

There is no point in bending the world to you; in any case, you will have to give them something. The question is that it shouldn’t be too stressful for you. You will have to simulate with them, even if you don’t like their position. Misogyny will not bring you joy and harmony.

When everything falls into place in your head, then you no longer freeze out from everyone, and do not expect that everyone owes you for the mere fact of your existence. A state may appear: “All women are bitches, I won’t do anything for anyone, I want someone who is just as independent, so that she doesn’t stress me out and doesn’t blow my mind.” You usually need a woman for sex (to satisfy the instinct of reproduction), and on a permanent basis, so that you don’t feel lonely. So, to have sex, there are many options. There are clearly mercantile ones who immediately begin to ask what you will do for them. They freeze immediately - drain them immediately. And there are cheerful and sociable people who like their appearance. But you will still have to do something for them, and, most likely, everything will be the same as what the previous ones who froze off wanted. But here it seems to happen naturally. You understand that it’s better to start “courting” yourself, to show attention so that she doesn’t melt away. For all of them, it is still important - just in different intensity and veils. And if you satisfy their instincts, then they become addicted to you and satisfy yours.

Chat with girls, change girls, have fleeting romances, play and pretend with them, do for them what is important to them (the main thing is that it does not strain you). Your instincts are important and need to be satisfied, because no matter how enlightened you are, the animal nature still dominates in all of us. You have disconnected from the system, now you see it from the outside, but in order to continue to have fun, you need to play their game with the girls in order to maintain contact. Understanding this makes it much easier.

Harsh biologism

Overcoming the stage of hatred is achieved through the formation of your own picture of the world, which helps you satisfy your instincts and achieve your goals. In the most primitive way, without romantic illusions, without some kind of childish inappropriate attitude towards women. You just understand how human relationships work, how they happen between a man and a woman. What steps need to be taken to get certain results. What you need to do to be liked - a set of manipulations to achieve goals.

Your task is to reach a level that can be called “severe biologism” - when there is a sober outlook on life, sound realism, and complete control of your life . And, after some time, you will find it funny when you hear complaints from friends about problems with women, especially when they don’t want to solve them, but just want to whine into their vest about another unhappy love and why the chick dumped him .

A completely calm attitude towards women appears. They no longer evoke sacred awe. You are no longer looking for anything. You have a lot of time to manage your life and achieve your goals. There is no frantic search for mythical love, you do not create a puzzle for yourself for life, trying to answer the question “what does a woman want?” Just give your instincts their due, so that there is crude biologism without inventing beautiful fairy tales.

Amiran Sardarov : You said that we must pay tribute to our instincts. Do not go to the extreme of rational activity. What does this mean? And why does it happen that if you get there, you begin to push your instincts into a corner, then nothing works out in this rational extreme? Although it seemed like you were living extremely sensibly.

Sergey Savelyev : Connections in the brain are a derivative of the type of activity. If you force yourself and force yourself to behave rationally, then no new connections in many sexual and romantic areas will happen. Activities must be different. And sexual, and intellectual, and physical. The brain has developed like a monkey’s instrument, so there is no need to disdain monkey activities, but you just need to control them and use them for the purpose. You still have to hit the girls. To some extent, this will be self-abuse. A young man must periodically experience hormonal shocks. The old man can do this just fine. And in a young person it will also affect the physical condition, potency may decrease. Young people sometimes should not only think about the fate of humanity, but also about the virtues of the opposite sex. Therefore, you need to be able to sincerely switch between human and baboon. If you switch, you will learn to control your brain. If you don’t learn, he will control you. And then you will end up quickly and badly, and you may go crazy. Our brain is so large, there are so many different structures and departments in it, that if you don’t use at least something, sclerosis will begin there, neurons will die, this is very bad.

Amiran Sardarov : Thanks to you, I have clarified the essence of a woman for myself, and now it is not interesting to enter into a relationship with them simply for the sake of reproduction. Although instincts seem to be pulling. But it’s so uninteresting that sometimes you don’t even feel like giving credit to your instincts. How to find balance?

Sergey Savelyev : Well, of course, this is some kind of horror. After all, sometimes you want to talk. If your level of relationships changes slightly, you gain this, that, the fifth, the tenth, then you begin to consider yourself more detached and from the outside, like such a baboon, then, naturally, a certain hostility to events arises. This is quite understandable.

Amiran Sardarov : As if it even affects hormones, there’s just no desire.

Sergey Savelyev : Brains greatly influence hormones. After all, our hypothalamus is located in the brain, and not in the tail or in the heart. This is the price of intellectual thinking. As soon as you start to think about and evaluate the women with whom you communicate, the bar immediately rises, and they drop sharply in your eyes. Because you begin to see the essence of the phenomenon. And when you see the essence of a phenomenon, you need to be self-critical enough to make some kind of contact. And understand that we are still half-monkeys, and sometimes our brains do harm. You need to adequately perceive yourself and the women around you. There is no need to expect intellectual feats from them.

Amiran Sardarov : When you come to understand all this, you don’t even want to talk to them at all.

Sergey Savelyev : Ha-ha. Well, unfortunately, this is the price for understanding. Price issue. Because you immediately see what is happening. Imitation, desire to please. The same Bystrov describes the 20s and 30s, St. Petersburg, the Medical Academy and the relationships there. He treats all this very adequately and critically. But you can’t do anything with women. If you begin to understand well the essence of human existence, then many things become not very interesting. Because you can't watch the same movie all the time.

Amiran Sardarov : So this affects health, potency drops.

Sergey Savelyev : Nothing just happens. You have to pay for everything. We need to solve this problem. Unfortunately, our semi-simian nature comes at a great cost to us. In general, until a certain age, sexual life is the most important component, because the hormonal stress that a person experiences in the absence of such a life, of course, has a very strong effect.

Sergey Savelyev - Doctor of Biological Sciences, Professor

***

A woman is a way to satisfy instincts and an instrument of relaxation and entertainment. To have fun, relax and get away from business. Maybe later, at the age of 40-50, it makes sense to start a family and children. And the woman will become an instrument of reproduction to continue the race. But there is simply no point in doing this before.

I used to view family as a kind of absolute happiness. About the same as when they are looking for a certain monastery in Tibet, some kind of refuge, some absolute, the last stop where you “live out your life blissfully.” This is similar to reasoning: “I’ll buy a car, pay off the loan for the apartment, and live!” Or “we are suffering now, and then the children will grow up and we will live!”, “children are needed to help you when you become worthless,” and “your wife will bring a glass of water when you can’t get out of bed.” Or just masochism, like the emigrants of the early 90s: “We’ll throw our lives down the toilet, but our children will already live!” There is also constant talk about how you have to work tirelessly and you will be rewarded later. In the meantime, you don’t need to live for yourself, you haven’t earned it yet. You work for everyone, but not for yourself - not for your goals. If you are lucky with the circumstances, you will achieve something.

Usually moralizers say that “when moral restrictions disappear, you will become cynical and mock everyone!” They say that moral restrictions are a necessary restraining element. But this restraining element somehow doesn’t really work, because, anyway, we are controlled by instincts. Here either hypocrisy occurs, as with priests who drink and go to prostitutes, and then atone for their sins, or, as with a person who understands that he has been deceived for a long time, and, in all seriousness, goes to destroy. Perhaps these moral restrictions once made sense, but now they have definitely discredited themselves. They are either not used, or they declare one thing, but behave differently.

***

I no longer perceive my family as some kind of absolute happiness that I need to strive for. I see how those who are in various delusions abandon their families and drink on the bench. They exchange their shoes for a bottle of vodka. His wife curses him for what the world stood for: that he got out of hand and stopped functioning, being useful and bringing home a salary. And he, in turn, is annoyed and offended by what he spent his life on. The person closest to me turned out to be an ungrateful pig and kicked me out of the house. He had a mental crisis, but his wife does not understand this and drives him to work. When he doesn't work, he kicks him out of the house. She doesn't care what crisis he's in. The child needs to eat, and she herself needs new curtains for the kitchen. “Go be a farm laborer, you have to, you are a man, you are a father, you have a family!”

And your happiness is to understand this as early as possible. If a person is sane, then his family cannot be the absolute happiness. Or this whole set of touching stories “Oh, my son took his first steps and said “Dad!””, I immediately burst out with happiness and I didn’t need anything else in life - I felt joy like a rabbit, started drooling, and began to thrash in euphoria.

While you are in this state, and it seems to you that this is the absolute happiness, while you have no common sense, and you are not working with your head, then your goals will not really be formed. They will be smeared.

There are no absolutes for happiness in any area. Until I understand this, in life there will always be a different set of carrots invented by society, which will seem to be the absolute happiness, which must be achieved through torment and superhuman efforts. Or there is an option when they simply believe that you will find something, meet someone, circumstances will work out in such a way that you will live happily.

Either they give up their lives to some “higher powers” ​​and hope for something, or they put their lives on some fictitious mythical tasks, going towards some kind of delirium. Neither one nor the other works. In both cases, you will flush your life down the toilet, and then it will be annoying and painful.

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Love

The very beginning of a relationship is almost unforgettable: those first correspondence and calls that last until late at night, walks, excitement before the meeting. It’s all so beautiful and gives inspiration for creativity. The best poets and artists created their masterpieces under the influence of this level of relationships.

The partner’s shortcomings are practically not noticed, and the object of passion tries in every possible way to minimize them. At this stage, a person tries to show himself exclusively from his best side.

The period of falling in love does not last long: on average, up to a year. It can end even earlier if a man and woman tie the knot prematurely or simply start living together. Everyday life will quickly reduce the frequency of romantic dates, and, on the contrary, will increase the amount of dirty dishes and other not entirely pleasant elements of living together.

Therefore, not everyone is able to face a frightening reality and, having steadfastly withstood the blow, continue the relationship, moving to the next stage. Some individuals spend their whole lives breaking off another union after going through the stage of falling in love, because they sincerely believe that this is love and it is over. Only wisdom accumulated over the years can open their eyes to the real state of things and get out of the vicious circle. The next stage is less rosy, but not yet the most difficult that can happen.

Aversion in family life

“I have an aversion to sex while in a happy marriage” is one of the most common phrases addressed to a family psychologist. In married life, the leading source of disappointment for one of the spouses is the discrepancy between the expected benefits and those that he actually receives. This applies to all areas of family life - from the financial well-being of a partner, when his low level of income is equated to personal failure, to problems in bed.

Sexual disappointments that provoke the development of aversion to a partner and sexual relations as such include:

• unacceptability of the proposed forms of sexual contact;
• regular cases of premature ejaculation in men;
• female frigidity;
• inappropriate behavior of a partner in bed.

As a rule, a woman is able to hide the signs of aversion for a long time after she has developed an aversion to sex, but at the same time she makes a lot of efforts to reduce the number of sexual contacts to the maximum. Some women are ready to endure unbearable relationships for many years, increasing the frequency of intimate meetings to 2-3 times a year. The statistics of divorces in the event that the spouses do not try to change the situation is 95% of broken unions.

Satiation

This stage is like an intermediate link between the first and third stages. The passions have subsided, the flow of hormones has decreased, and the person begins to look at his partner with a more realistic look.

The other half is still insanely attractive, but besides her, other interests come to mind: friends, hobbies, reading. Something that literally a few months ago I didn’t want at all. Everything returns to normal, but the partner firmly occupies a certain niche in life. Usually at this stage there is an acquaintance with relatives and parents. The partner feels that the old emotions are leaving. And close people will be able to confirm or refute his doubts about the correctness of his choice of a life partner.

The satiety stage is characterized by some confusion. On the one hand, you feel uncomfortable, as the previous strong emotions cool down. On the other hand, the real perception of things is sobering, and you understand that in addition to communicating with your loved one, there is another life with all its delights.

Standing at a crossroads, willy-nilly you have to rethink everything that is happening, and again, not always in favor of continuing the relationship. After all, many people get hooked on the feeling of falling in love like a drug. And, having lost strong emotions, they need another “dose”, without realizing that this was just the beginning.

Causes

Sometimes it is difficult to find out why a man’s hatred of a woman arose in an adult. Misogyny is usually caused by negative experiences from the past.

The misogynist himself is not always able to remember where the negative attitude towards the weaker sex came from.

Mental disorders may be associated with difficult relationships within the family, namely with a mother, sister, grandmother or aunt.

There are other reasons for misogyny:

• unsuccessful sexual contact;
• a difficult breakup with your girlfriend;
• bullying by classmates;
• infliction of physical pain by mother or grandmother;
• too harsh upbringing;
• lack of support and emotional connection with the mother.

Misogyny often acts as a defensive reaction to mental or physical influence and occurs against the background of the following diseases:

• neurosis;
• phobia;
• depression.

In the womb, under the influence of hormones, congenital pathologies that affect sexual behavior can develop. Thus, sadism, masochism and homosexuality give rise to hatred of women.

The presence of feminist views in Russia is an additional basis for negative feelings towards women who become victims of beatings, rape and even murder. You can encounter discrimination against the weaker sex in many religions, where ladies are portrayed as weak-willed creatures.

Often girls face problems at work when the boss gives preference to men and promotes them up the career ladder. Some films and programs make the fairer sex the objects of jokes and ridicule.

Disgust

This is the most difficult stage of a relationship. At this level, all those negative qualities of the other half that were not previously noticeable come to the surface. The rose-colored glasses are taken off, and all the ins and outs of the partner are exposed in all their glory.

Many people ask themselves: “How did I not notice this before?” And they begin to think that the loved one was simply wonderful in the art of pretense. It turns out that the partner is not a sweet whim, but a quarrelsome hysteric. Or he is not a free freelancer, but a guy with a constantly empty wallet. There are a lot of such examples. What previously seemed sweet and frivolous, as in a distorting mirror, changes beyond recognition.

But in fact, in the eyes of your partner at the stage of disgust, you look exactly the same: the disadvantages of your character and lifestyle are sharply highlighted and sometimes even exaggerated. Conflicts, misunderstandings, and deceptions begin. This further aggravates an already difficult situation.

Most breakups happen at this moment. People feel like they made a cruel mistake in their choice. And the song begins all over again - the search for love, violent emotions, addiction and, finally, broken dreams... After all, it is easier to think that you are constantly being deceived than that you do not know how to maintain a relationship.

Misogyny in men

There are several criteria that help divide misogynists into two classes:

1. Active. All their behavior shows hatred of the opposite sex. At the same time, they do not hide their feelings and try to spread ideas to the masses.
2. Hidden. Misogynists try to hide their real feelings and prostrate themselves in front of young ladies, although they hate them. Because of their fear, they cannot openly fight with women. At the beginning of a relationship, such men are very courteous with the young lady, but over time their attitude comes out. Surprisingly, this type of misogynist is the most dangerous.

In men, signs of the disorder appear as follows:

• all human actions are aimed at humiliating the weaker sex;
• the patient spreads his hatred to all surrounding women, and not to a specific person;
• misogynists deify the male image;
• misogynists never recognize the successes and victories of women;
• they avoid female company or feel awkward in the presence of women.

In relation to women, a man often shows self-centeredness and insolence. He does not allow a lady to be better than him and becomes furious if she surpasses him in something. Such a person cannot exist in a family where the spouse earns many times more.

A misogynist often forces a girl to have sex and thinks only about his own pleasure. He can disappear from the life of his chosen one without explaining the reasons, and then calmly appear again as if nothing had happened.

In family life, such men are tough tyrants and do not perceive a woman as their equal. They are characterized by polygamy, but they do not accept cheating on the part of a girl.

Misogynists are a potential threat to society. First of all, they are bad husbands and can make their spouse’s life a living hell. At the same time, the misogynist does not repent after causing psychological or physical violence. Men prone to this disorder may overuse their power in leadership positions.

It is necessary to send the misogynist for a consultation with a male psychotherapist. A specialist will help change the patient’s inner world and dispel incorrect beliefs.

Treatments for the disorder include:

• taking medications;
• relaxation techniques;
• cognitive and behavioral therapy.

Discrimination against women should not be underestimated.

Humility

If the union has crossed the previous threshold, this means that both partners are wise and responsible enough. They take quarrels completely calmly and understand that the conflict will pass, but the sediment will remain. Therefore, they try to solve problems constructively.

The other half is now perceived not as a set of disadvantages and advantages, but as an integral personality with its own baggage of distinctive features. At this stage, such a mutually beneficial quality as respect for interests and manifestations of character appears. Therefore, emotional outbursts are no longer perceived as a red rag by both participants in the relationship. They both try, for each other’s benefit, not to start scandals out of nowhere, and even if a quarrel does occur, they quickly move away and make up.

This stage is also characterized by maximum expression of patience. Partners already know where they need to remain silent and where they can speak out, so as not to drive their loved one to a white heat.

The humility stage is where mature relationships begin. This means that partners clearly understand that in a couple it is important not only to listen, but also to hear each other.

Misogyny in women

Women's hostility towards the weaker sex is called "internal misogyny."

The hallmarks of this condition include:

• assessment of women's actions from a man's point of view;
• criticism and humiliation of women;
• lack of girlfriends.

Female misogyny is often caused by the following reasons:

• envy of beautiful and rich women;
• jealousy of another lady;
• phobias;
• mental illness.

The disorder is a consequence of life attitudes that come from childhood. Thus, the mother of her daughter may constantly criticize and belittle other women, praising the male sex.

Girls who suffer from misogyny seek social approval and thrive in male society, which they consider privileged. They often behave “like a boy” and adopt male behavior patterns and condemn the actions of the women around them.

Prejudices directed against one's own gender cause division of professions and interests. At the same time, an atmosphere of constant competition develops.

You must be able to distinguish a negative attitude towards a specific person from hostility towards all women. If there is a mental disorder, it is necessary to learn introspection and often show compassion rather than judgment. It is important to confront not only your own, but also other people’s misogyny in order to find spiritual harmony and improve relationships with others.

It is difficult to say who is to blame for misogyny - men or women. It is known for sure that it is possible to cope with the disorder if both sexes unite.

Service

A wonderful stage in which the participants in the relationship begin to enjoy the free gift of their love. Concessions are not a burden to them, and they have learned to accept manifestations of their partner’s shortcomings calmly or even with humor. The couple knows how to get away from conflict and how to prevent it in the bud.

At this level, love becomes stronger, calmness and tranquility reign at home. People simply live for each other and watch how their relationships develop. They give care and do not think about whether they will receive an equal amount of it in return. Although this will inevitably happen.

Truly adult individuals who have grown spiritually to find a real family - the way it should be - can reach this stage. Mutual assistance and service to each other is a kind of motto of such relations.

Misogynists - causes and diagnosis

Misogyny is a deep-seated complex, and any complex is generated by certain situations.

Causes and Effects

Situation one. I gave up. I deceived. Read - changed. With polygamy not inherent in women, and therefore against nature. Injured pride and male pride give rise to a huge distrust in a man towards the entire female sex. He sympathizes with his married and, as it seems to him, necessarily horned friends. He believes that any woman can be dragged into bed, except that each one needs an approach. Often he begins to take revenge for his humiliation. He is promiscuous and is no longer able to become attached to a woman, even one who sincerely loves him.

Situation two. I went around. My old friends Igor and Evgenia started a business together. A good example of a family business - everything went well and prospered. I don’t know at what point Igor broke down, and he chose to leave the business to his wife, and he started a new business. But it was not argued, but Evgenia confidently headed an already large staff of employees. Igor’s pride did not allow him to give up, but, alas, his new job failed. No matter how hard Zhenya tried to persuade Igor to return to the family business, he flatly refused, confused in his own envy and hatred. You see, the woman beat her husband, and even now TAKES HIM to work. But once upon a time it was he who built the platform for its success? Such a misogynist may not give up on his personal life, but he takes as his wife weak, gray mice who are not able to utter a word against their husband’s word. But where is the guarantee that he will not hate his new wife for her weakness and insipidity?

Situation three. Robbed. The opposite situation. The man fully provides for his wife, right down to the hosiery and brooches of her wardrobe. But it’s not a pity until the lady, raised on his products, packaged in the latest fashion from his thick wallet, flies off to another friend. It turns out that this man has no other merits other than the inheritance he received or the ability to get money for red caviar? Surely there is, only now the trampled advantages are turning into one snowball of a complex, dusted with hatred of women and the persistent conviction that everything can be bought, even love. And he begins to buy, combing the entire female sex with a common comb: I pay for the item, which means it completely belongs to me.

Situation four. Humiliated. She ridiculed, trampled and wiped her feet. For what reason: I simply couldn’t adequately put an end to the history of the relationship or due to other circumstances - it doesn’t matter. For a man, humiliation is the last straw, disappointment in the ideal - faithful, humble and patient, the very one who should be a life partner. And it’s stupid to say that men like bitches. This type of woman is certainly attractive, but in the role of a wife and friend, a man is unlikely to be impressed by a proud and principled woman. My friend Alexey openly laughs at the entire female sex and is suspicious of any manifestation of female independence and statements of self-sufficiency. He prefers to avoid such women, and openly takes advantage of those who are weaker, “nobly” warning them: they say, I like you, but I can’t offer you anything other than sex.

Friendship

Having reached this stage, the partners learned respect, patience, mutual assistance and came close to the threshold of true love - friendship. The relationship has become so trusting that there are no longer any secrets or omissions between its participants. They solve problems together, consult on important issues and spend leisure time together.

At the same time, at the stage of friendship there is no place for jealousy, empty squabbles and flattery. Each participant in the relationship can tell the other his opinion and not be afraid that he will not be heard. Constructive criticism is welcome.

It is possible that at this stage of marital relations the boundaries of masculine and feminine principles are a little blurred and intimacy is lost. But there’s nothing you can do about it; on such a long and thorny path, losses are inevitable.

If you have reached this milestone, then you know that you have a strong shoulder to lean on in difficult times. You will never be let down, and all adversity seems not so terrible thanks to your soulmate.

Disgust underlies the ability to say NO.

What disgusts you? What food do you have an aversion to? Besides aversion to food, who else? For what?

Understanding WHAT and WHO causes disgust is an important point in determining your values, your personal structure, your boundaries.

Yes, sometimes it is necessary to suppress feelings of disgust. The simplest examples: the work of a doctor. Or the need during treatment to drink medicines that smell and taste disgusting or to endure an unpleasant procedure.

The ability to suppress a feeling, to slow down one’s natural reaction, that is, to show will when it is appropriate and expedient is a normal, ordinary skill of any person.

Suppressing your disgust always and in everything, replacing it with fear as a way and reason to refuse an action, or in some other way turn it on yourself - this is something that can and should be worked through with a psychologist, and restore your ability to freely live your own life.

Sexual experience

Negative moments of a sexual nature can hit a man’s dignity very hard and lower self-esteem. Perhaps they laughed at his clumsiness or called him a worthless lover.

All this led to the emergence of a huge inferiority complex. But a man cannot admit this, cannot accept his wrongness. Accordingly, negative experiences will begin to be transferred to girls, calling them frigid.

In some situations, men who hate women begin to feel fear and are afraid of shame, which leads to rejection of the fair half of humanity altogether. After all, if there is no relationship, then there will be no room for worries. Why is he lonely? It’s just that all girls are selfish and materialistic, why does he need them?

What causes hatred?

Where did disgust begin to appear in the fair sex? It is enough to look around to find the answer to the question. The news features alcoholics, cruel men who constantly beat their wives, bad fathers, etc. These images can also be seen in TV series and videos on the Internet. A distinctive feature is contempt for women.

However, representatives of the fair sex are not exemplary either. They sometimes behave even worse than men in TV series and commercials. And breaking a heart is not a problem for them.

On a subconscious level, we try to copy the images that flash on the screen, thereby exacerbating the contradictions in relationships to the limit. Men begin to dislike women, and women begin to dislike men. As they say, from love to hate...