How do manipulators behave? And what types of manipulators exist?
E. Shostrom identifies eight main types of manipulators, which can be easily divided into logical pairs: what one offers is what the other lacks. The first in the pair is an active position, the second is a passive position. Moreover, depending on the situation, he can play different roles.
1. Dictator . His position is to dominate, indicate, control. A dictator needs victims.
2. Wimp (or weakling). This is the opposite of the Dictator, that is, his victim. The rag plays a passive role: it is silent, gives in, does not argue.
3. The computer tries to calculate everything in advance. His main tools are cunning and lies. This is the type of swindler, gambler, blackmailer.
4. Stuck . Slave, his position: “Do everything for me.” The following types of clingy people are usually found: whiner, hypochondriac, dependent, parasite.
5. Hooligan , in the female version - a bitch, a grumpy woman. The bully is exaggeratedly aggressive and cruel. He insults, threatens, scares.
6. The Nice Guy is overprotective. He suffocates with his love. Such people are obsequious, overly friendly, obsessive in their kindness.
7. Judge . This is the type of accuser, critic. He always knows everything better than anyone else, considers himself to have the right to evaluate and expose others, and to shame the guilty. A very vindictive guy.
8. The defender takes on the role of a lawyer. With his excessive help, he interferes with the independence of his clients and deprives them of the opportunity to correct their mistakes. The Defender’s selflessness does not allow him to pay attention to his own affairs; he forces himself to take care of the problems of others.
Types of manipulative people
To understand what a manipulator means, you need to consider the characteristics and types of manipulators inherent in him.
The main characteristics of a person using manipulation:
- lies (techniques and methods of fraud, maneuvers, playing out emotions, roles, feigned behavior, desire to impress, falsehood of feelings and emotions);
— unawareness (boredom, apathy, inaction, lack of understanding of one’s place in life, perception only of what is important for one’s personality);
- control (representing life as a chess game, controlling everyone who gives in, and building strategies against a stronger “rival”);
- cynicism (complete distrust of all people, even relatives themselves, dividing people into those who control and those who obey).
In the book “The Manipulative Man,” Sjostrom says that there are various people with manipulative characteristics, which are described below.
A dictator is a type of manipulator who gives orders to everyone, and in case of disobedience, shouts and threatens. His weapon is power, he controls and pushes others around with force, severity, harsh language and harsh actions. A person with such character traits and behavior has an unbearable thirst for power, and having acquired it, he becomes an even greater despot and tyrant.
A person of the “calculator” type is a seemingly very well-mannered person who communicates with many people, but in fact chooses only those from whom he can benefit. Such an individual spends a lot of time calculating the best and most profitable paths. In every life situation he is guided by the desire to remain in an advantageous position. He is not interested in people unless they represent a profitable acquaintance.
A manipulative person, psychology states that he works only in the direction of obtaining benefits from other people, is very lonely. Sometimes this makes him sad, but often he likes this state of affairs.
A manipulator of the “rag” type is childish, weak-willed and careless in his behavior. He always complains and is rarely in a good mood. He wants to draw all the attention of people to himself, so that they feel sorry for him, understand him, and simply be there. This type of manipulator often uses crying and hysterics to quickly achieve what he wants.
A “sticky” manipulator is a person who strives to be under the control of another person, he wants to be controlled, led. He is too annoying, lazy and weak. He doesn’t like to do things himself, he always waits for orders and he sincerely likes such orders.
A manipulator of the “judge” type is an eternally dissatisfied person, and the scale of his dissatisfaction is simply global, it seems as if the whole world has done something wrong to him.
The manipulative person “judge” attributes various sins to everyone, which these people never committed. For him, every person is an enemy and a liar. Contempt is clearly visible on the face of such a person.
A manipulator, such as a “defender,” is a person with a great desire to shield and justify the actions of loved ones. By this he wants to show himself to be much smarter and fairer than others.
A “nice guy” manipulator is distinguished by too much kindness, which often smacks of insincerity. Such kindness is feigned, intrusive, and hides the person’s terrible intentions behind it. Often people, after communicating with such a person, say that they are surprised how such a good person can be capable of some kind of great meanness.
A “bully” type manipulator is a person who solves all problems in only one way – with his fists. If he doesn’t like something, he starts to get angry; if he doesn’t like someone, he’ll beat him; if he’s in a bad mood, he’ll become rowdy. Everyone is afraid of such a person, so they must obey him.
Causes. Why do they do this?
One of the main reasons is the desire to receive the love of others through power over them. In this case, the manipulator hides his true feelings and thoughts. He's trying to make you love him.
The second reason is a person’s internal conflict, his distrust of himself and others. To gain trust, the manipulator tries to control people and bring them closer to him.
The next reason is fear of deep relationships. Therefore, manipulators prefer superficial control rather than close interaction. Hence their hypertrophied self-control: they do not allow themselves to express strong feelings (fear, joy, anger).
Types of cranes
KMT models have been developed that have booster hydraulics (grips, grabs, etc.). The hydraulic booster is designed to move heavy weight loads.
Hydraulic manipulators have some difficulties in matters of compactness: the working boom cannot be folded several times behind the driver’s cabin, which means that it remains to transport the crane-manipulator with a straight boom (the so-called L-shaped type), directed towards or against automobile traffic. This is a visually identifying feature for a hydraulic manipulator.
There is another type of crane with a Z-shaped design. But, in this example, the provided convenience of delivering the crane (i.e., the ability to fold its boom three times) takes away the power functionality: this technique is not capable of lifting significant weights.
Who are manipulative people?
Before giving a detailed definition of a manipulator, it is necessary to understand what is meant by the word “manipulation”? In psychology, this term stands for a method or technique by which they try to impose a distorted idea of someone or something.
Every person is a manipulator to one degree or another. To achieve what you need, you need to be able to “juggle” your own and others’ consciousness. A striking example of a manipulative person is a magician in a circus. Adults and children look with awe at his deft movements when flowers, doves, and other objects suddenly appear in his hands, seemingly out of nowhere. Everyone gasps in admiration and envy such unusual tricks.
The manipulations of a magician in a circus are a clear illustration of how you can control a person’s consciousness and make him believe in the unusual. But if everything is clear with the circus performer - his professional sleight of hand is admirable, then in everyday life meeting with manipulative people is not harmless. Such a “circus” can result in serious loss of health and even financial well-being.
The older generation is well aware of such personalities as psychotherapist, hypnotist Anatoly Kashpirovsky or psychic Alan Chumak. Many literally idolized their healing abilities, rushed to see them, giving away their last savings. Some people felt ill after such treatment, but due to the eternal human self-confidence that “this will not happen to me,” crowds of sufferers filled the halls and stadiums at the “recovery” sessions.
Time passed, the mass psychosis subsided, no miracle of “worldwide” healing occurred. But healers have amassed significant capital for themselves. This allowed the same Kashpirovsky to live comfortably in the USA. Here is a vivid example of manipulative people!
If we talk about the characteristics of manipulative people, it will be rather negative. Such individuals are fixated on achieving their personal goals, but only by luring other people into their “conspiracy.” Finding weak souls, they seek to subjugate them to their influence.
It is believed that there are not many such people. If in his entire adult life a person can have no more than 200-300 acquaintances, 20 percent of them will be manipulators. But these are precisely the people who bring significant dissonance to communication.
Communicating with them does not bring joy, and therefore such friendship ends sooner or later. And the sooner this happens, the better.
It is important to know! If a manipulator has charisma, he is able to organize various groups and communities in order to manipulate the consciousness of gullible people in them for his own mercantile purposes.
How to recognize a manipulator?
There are quite a lot of signs that make it possible to identify intentional or involuntary manipulations on the part of a loved one. Keep in mind that certain features of manipulative behavior are characteristic of almost all people. Therefore, conclusions should be drawn only by identifying at least a few characteristic behavioral features from the given list.
Main signs of manipulative behavior:
- tendency to shift responsibility to others;
- a sharp reaction to criticism addressed to oneself;
- denial of one's own mistakes, even when they are obvious;
- criticism of others, doubts about their competence and abilities;
- tendency to discuss and criticize people;
- forcing relationships (a person quickly gains trust, demonstrates friendship and strives to fill all the space);
- the desire to use acquaintances, getting maximum benefit from them;
- pathological self-confidence;
- the desire to show one’s superiority in communication;
- demonstrative flattery, treats and gifts in order to demonstrate good intentions and friendliness;
- pressure through guilt, oppressing the victim;
- maintaining tension in communication (any little thing can provoke a conflict in which the manipulator will present himself as a victim).
A characteristic feature of people prone to manipulation is that they try to make the most of all social connections. As soon as they meet a new person, they try to find out what he can help with. Having admitted who you work for, you will immediately hear in response, “But I just need...”.
Another interesting feature of manipulators is that they like to convey requests through acquaintances. This trick fetters people's will, makes them feel awkward and take on unwanted obligations.
The signs listed above can only be considered after a long acquaintance. But there are also a number of characteristic behavioral features that are noticeable already at the first meeting with the manipulator:
- he makes a good impression, seems almost perfect;
- looks good, well-groomed and neat;
- friendly, smiling and welcoming;
- speaks beautifully, gives compliments without being shy about flattery;
- looks confidently into the eyes;
- dresses in a classic style, does not stand out in the crowd;
- quickly violates personal space: comes close, takes your hand, touches your shoulder, can come closer and whisper something in your ear.
The last point reveals the manipulator most clearly. He never thinks about how comfortable the people around him are, so he unceremoniously “bursts” into the personal zone of people he barely knows. If a person remains silent and does not demonstrate rejection of such behavior, it will be easy to manipulate him.
